This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf I Am six forty,
the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty.
You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show. If you're new to my show, I have a PhD in clinical
psychology. I'm a psychology professor, not a therapist, but I've written three
books on relationships and I'm obsessed with the science of love. Coming up on
today's show, it is Easter. It is a time of new beginnings for
everybody. It's spring. We're blooming, our insides are blooming. So let's
talk about ways that we can create meaning in our lives and get a fresh
start. However, new research out is showing that young people are particularly unhappy
in America, so let's talk about what we can be doing for them.
Also, in the line of relationships, are you a robosexual? That's going
to be a new sexual orientation soon you watch the robots are out there,
so there is research and what does it say about your psychology if you happen
to like having sex with robots? Before we get going, reducer Kayla.
On the break, we were talking about probably the biggest kind of relationship news
in the country right now, the raids on Rapper P Ditty's houses in LA
and Miami. And then I was in New York this week and as you
know, the flight is particularly long on the way back, and I opened
up my TikTok and I went down the P Diddy rabbits hole killed six hours
like that, Oh it was gone. I know more about this particular case.
I know the gossip. I knew the non gossip, and so so
if you're just coming on to the story. A former girlfriend of his who's
a singer who goes by the name of Cassie, correct me if I say
anything wrong. That's right. She filed a civil suit against him, something
to do with sexual assault and forcing her to have sex with prostitutes or something.
He declined, none of this is true. None of this is true.
So he shut that one down in one day, twenty four hours.
He paid her a check. Well, it didn't go away, because apparently
three more people came forward and found civil suits against him for similar charges.
And I mean, I don't know if we have another r Kelly thing unfolding.
We don't know what the details is. I will say that, and
these are civil cases. Anybody can say anything in a civil case and try
to get money. So that's what P Diddy is saying. You know,
P Diddy has a lot of names. Sean Puffy Combs is one of them.
Top Daddy is another one. He did, how am I doing?
Even as recently named himself brother Love and it's just you want to be called
love and you're out here if the allegation you're true. We don't know about
all these allegations far from love. But if you do turn to the old
TikTok, you will see that his former bodyguards are talking that another rapper named
fifty Cent, who is somehow has it out for him, is saying all
kinds of things. So there was enough smoke around this with potentially four civil
suits that the FEDS got involved and said, maybe we should invest to see
if there's anything criminal here. So they raided his home in Miami on Star
Island. They raided his home here in Los Angeles. They caught up with
him on the tarmac in a little private airport. Who actually, I've been
to this little private airport once before. And he was about to get on
a private plane because it was spring break, and he has two teenage daughters
and they were headed over to the Bahamas, and so the cops stopped them.
They first they couldn't see that they were doing anything wrong. They didn't
really detain them, but they found that one guy on the plane had a
whole bunch of drugs on him, so they rested that guy. And then
you asked TikTok, well where did he go? Then they saw him at
a top golf. There's video of him and his daughters coming out of a
top golf. I guess they never made of the Bahamas. They just went
to like it's like kind of an indoor mini golf or something. I don't
know, so they went there. I don't know if he's sleeping at his
houses or did he go to a hotel. We don't know. So that
was towards the end of last week and now Monday. So what did they
take? The Feds took computers, they took phones, they took pick and
stuff. So you know, the the agents are spent probably all of Easter
weekend listening to phone conversations and reading emails and trying to find out. Apparently
the charge that's not a good one for him might have to do with some
of these sexual partners being underage. That's something they're looking for. Allegations.
We don't know no truth yet. And also if you believe some of these
ex girlfriends saying that they were forced to have sex with male prostitutes in front
of him, that apparently I'm just quoting TikTok Okay, this is not anything
I know about. So this is just allegations. But apparently he would go
online and choose these prostitutes and then they would fly them across state lines,
and that that think that's you can't pass stolen goods across state lines, and
you can't pass prostitutes across state lines for the procurement of I don't think you're
supposed to pay for prostitutes anyway, are you. I think I know.
I think everyone should be able to sell their body as long as there are
they should be able here, I'm just saying, that's my opinion. If
men have more muscles than they can do construction, then women should be able
to, with their particular physical endowments, be able to work by the hour
if they want to, if they want to. I don't think men should
be involved managing women prostitutes. We don't need John's just saying and happy Easter
everybody. So today is Easter Sunday. It is a deeply religious holiday,
particularly in the Christian religion. I like to think. You know, most
religious holidays are correlated with something going on in nature. Do you know why
Easter moves around every year? Producer Kayla No, I don't know, because
it is the first Sunday that occurs after the first full moon in the spring.
You see that full moon last week. It was gorgeous, beautiful.
Yes, And that's why we know Easter game. That's how they chart it
and believe it or not. Easter itself has pagan roots, and of course
it honors a female goddess named Estre, pagan goddess associated with spring and fertility.
Think about it. I was hiking today in the Santa Monica Mountains.
Gorgeous, the nature, the green, the flowers blooming, the birds singing.
If you're going to celebrate Easter, that's the way to do it.
Now. There's also a connection. The Christians connect Easter with Passover a little
bit because Easter happens to be closely linked to the Jewish festival of Passover.
There is you know, if think of the Bible as a history book,
supposedly the last supper is Passover dinner or whatever. What do they have haater
dinner? I'm sorry, I should be up on all my religions. So
here's what I know as a professor of health psychology that religiosity is highly correlated
with good health and long life. And I wish that. I don't think
the Catholic Church would take me back. Actually, I think I've been such
a sinner in my life in their eyes. If you're listening and you're like
a somebody who signs the docs, that would be higher than a priest.
Right there would be an archbishop, a bishop, I don't know, maybe
deca whatever, and you would take me back after divorce and my you know,
one hundred sexual partners in my life. If the Catholics want me,
I'd be happy to come back. Well, you'd be Jesus people, if
you read the book, he hung around with the people like that. So
I always want to be that woman on the horse. Don't stone her if
you haven't seen. Also, you're just loved and forgives, you know,
when I was young, I used to be the reader at church. That's
where my broadcast career started. They liked me. Up there, you're an
altar today. But one time I got in trouble. I'm not reading,
I'm just talking. One time I got in trouble for wearing pants on the
altar. I got a call later from some female parishioner saying women are not
live. I'm like, Okay, this church is not for me. Okay,
catch up, catch up, hey, when we come back. The
World Happiness Report was released on Wednesday. Los Angeles isn't in it. It's
done by country, the United States fell I'll tell you what our number is
when we come back, and who the most unhappy population is and what we
need to be doing about this. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the Iheartread Radio app.
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six forty.
KFI AM six forty, you have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is
the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. Why are we so unhappy? Okay? We
just came out of a big pandemic. We got social media dominating our lives.
Many people have lost their connection to extended family. More people are living
alone than ever before, more adults are unmarried than married, and not having
the connection of relationships. I get it. We're unhappy. Now we have
data to support what we've always felt. The World Happiness Report was released on
Wednesday Day. It showed, now, this is self reported data for it
showed that we finally fell out of the top twenty happiest countries for the first
time. We may be the wealthiest country, we may be the freest country.
We may love everything about America, except we're not really happy. And
the most unhappy group people aged eighteen to thirty young Americans. Now, this
research was done by Gallop and it was in coordination with the United Nations and
other groups. And they asked people, these young people who rapidly declined in
their happiness, what was it that made them feel so unhappy. Here's what
they told the researchers. First of all, they weren't satisfied with their support
system. Let's think about that, jobs, family, friends, social support.
Not happy with our support system. Also, they reported they were not
happy with their living situation. We are seeing a huge amount of young adults.
I don't like to use the word failing to launch, but launching more
slowly and in a different way. Often college graduates can't afford to pay rent,
so they move home to their parents' house, and that can't always be
fun. They also said they have lost confidence in their government and also a
feeling that they have less freedom to make life choices. The country that's all
about individual rights and freedoms, young people feel less freedom to make their own
choices in their life. So USA Today newspaper did another poll of young Americans
trying to get a little deeper into this for their unhappiness and their disillusionment,
and the people in this survey reported things like they were unhappy about the economy.
They were unhappy about the cost of housing, they were unhappy about the
burden of student loan debt. They were really unhappy about the political polarization that's
happening in this country. They're super unhappy about social media. Literally, I've
read research that's to ask people if you would if you wanted social media to
go away and have nobody be on it, would you be okay with that?
And most young people would say yes, but they can't get off it
because everyone else is on it. They're also unhappy about climate change, and
they're unhappy about the wars in Ukraine and Gaza. Now I should tell you
that wars were taking place around the world at a fast clip at all different
times, but we have a saturated media now that it's right in everybody's face
in their iPhones. Right. I do have to mention this that in recent
years suicide rates have climbed and surged among young people in the United States.
Experts are sounding the alarm about the loneliness epidemic among teenagers and young adults.
Look. I see it as a university professor. In fact, I make
my students get into small discussion groups just so they can open their mouths and
talk to another person instead of just sitting in a class watching me drone on
and even yet, I will look over and see them all looking at their
phones. I'm like, you guys need to be talking, okay, you
need to be discussing this, right. So here's what I want to tell
you about happiness. We're not supposed to be happy all the time, Okay,
this idea of pursuit of happiness, you know what you would not know
you were happy. If you were happy all the time, you got to
have something to compare it to. Right, We are supposed to have a
rainbow of emotions, but also have good coping strategies for managing the negative emotions
when they come along. Research shows that people who are mostly unhappy, it's
not what that worst bad things happen to them, it's that they have more
They have poor emotional regulation strategies. Right, and the strategies that people practice
when they're feeling unhappy are not good ones. Distraction, sex, drugs,
and rock and roll. Let's get on social media, let's go out,
let's laugh, let's drink some tequila, let's just have fun. Let's make
ourselves feel happy. It's not going to do it or the other. Rumination,
rumination are rumination is a funny trick. It actually your brain thinks it's
solving problems by thinking about your problems all the time, but it just spins
around the same problems over and over and over. There's new research from the
Journal of Psychopathology and Clinical Science, and it said that even though people who
experience depression are capable of coping with their intense emotions, they often use emotion
regulation strategies that decrease good feelings and increase bad feelings. So I mentioned they
distract themselves. That's not they ruminate. That's not good. But here's something
else. They actually use poor emotional regulation strategies for a certain reason, and
many of them have I'm gonna tell you something. I've never even heard this
word before. I had to look it up and do a lot of reading
on it. Cheero phobia, cheerophobia c H E r oh phobia p h
O b I A cheerophobia. It is exactly what it sounds like, a
fear of happiness. When we come back, do you have a fear of
happiness? And is it possible that there's one simple thing that you could be
doing to get over your fear of happiness. I'll explain what the research says
when we come back. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on
kf I Am six forty re live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening
to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM sixty I AM six forty.
You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show,
Kayla, I love that song. That's a good one. It makes
you happy. It makes me happy just thinking about it. Okay, we're
talking about how unhappy young people are in America. A new research from the
Journal of Psychopathology and Clinical Science indicates that people who suffer from depression are capable
capable of tolerating intense negative emotions, but they tend to use poor coping strategies
for three reasons. One, many people who are feeling sad chronically believe that
they don't deserve happiness. Two, many of these people are just real familiar
with negative moods. That's their go to place, that's what they know.
And three playing them suffer from cheerophobia. No, not a fear of cheerleaders
heather, a fear of happiness, happiness, an irrational fear happiness. Okay,
it's not actually recognized as a true diagnosis in the DSM. But just
because something isn't a diagnosis doesn't mean it's, you know, probably part of
a greater anxiety disorder. So let's talk about Actually, when I read this
study this morning, it was a little like eye opening for me because when
I go through negative stress oars, I get down. Julio's witnessed a few
of them, and he's like, he is so naturally happy. I always
say, like, how can you be so light when these things are happening?
And he goes, what else are you going to do? Like,
there's nothing you can do but find humor in it or lightness in it.
Right, And I finally gets me down, And then I took some time,
did a little reflection, went back to my childhood this morning, swam
around there my dark closet with a little glow in the dark Martian figure I
used to play with alone, crying in my closet, and I thought to
myself, Oh, I don't think I deserve happiness. That's what happens when
the stress stores come. I don't say, like a healthy person, oh
this is a big problem. Let's see how I can fix this. Let
me see if I can solve this. Oh, this is going to be
a fun little puzzle to solve. That's what healthy people think. They think.
This isn't fun, But this is temporary, and I'm going to get
through it and get right back to happy. So then, of course,
after reading about this and having a little bit of an awakening, I found
this week In fact, when I was feeling down, I said to Julio,
I am going to sit and right. I've been working on this book,
tinkering away at it while the story is happening. You should know that
all my three books, The Boyfriend Test, how to something like how do
we evaluate him before you lose your heart? The Girlfriend Test? How Datable
Are You Really? And the Thirty Day Love Detox How to Survive in a
high supply sexual Economy. These books, although they are self helped to the
world, are very autobiographical. They're filled with lots of stories of my dating
life, on my way to finding a secure attachment, and me learning about
attachment theory. So the book I've been working on now is called how to
Shrink the Kids and blow Up Your Life. Okay that you loved? I
love that because that's where I am in my life right. How to launch
those young adult kids, how to get financially secure, how to keep yourself
healthy. As I say in the first line of the book, this is
not your eat prey love. Although it might be your keto gay love,
I don't know. It's about finding you. So I've been tinkering with this
book. I got the layout when you do the whole layout, like the
chapter layout. Then it's about, you know, coloring in the blanks,
filling in those blanks, coloring in between the lines. And this week I
sat down and I wrote a bunch of pages because I was feeling down.
So then I start reading this article today about journaling and writing and how writing
is so good for our mental health. Some people keep diaries. People journal
only when they're feeling down. Sometimes they only turn to writing in major life
transitions. That would be me right, And so researchers have found though,
that expressive writing can actually improve people's mental health. Now, the researcher who
found this is doctor James penna Baker. Kayla, write down that name,
doctor James Penabaker's the cutest name, isn't it? Like, Yeah, I
love that name, Doctor James Pennabaker. He is a former professor professor retired
from the University of Texas Austin. So back in the nineteen eighties, he
was like every other psychology professor who was doing a lot of research, asking
his psychology students, hey, can you think of some questions I want to
find out about what's correlated with health? Because you know, I'm a professor
of health psychology. So this stuff really is interesting to me. And he's
like, what kind of questions should we ask? And by the way,
he's also the author of three hundred articles twelve books. He's a big deal.
Let's get him on the show. And so one other students said,
why don't we ask people this question prior to the age of seventeen? Did
you ever have a traumatic sexual experience? And he thought to himself, Oh,
that's a good question. Nobody's ever asked that question. Back in the
nineteen eighties. That one question turned out to be one of the most powerful
predictors of physical symptoms in health. This study has been replicated nationally. They
have found that anybody who answered yes to that question is more likely to have
been hospitalized for any cause. In the last year. It was related to
cold's flus, high blood pressure, heart disease, and cancer. But then
he continued to do research and he found out it wasn't just sexual trauma.
He found that having any kind of trauma in your childhood, but the most
important thing that it was kept a secret, was bad for your physical health.
Secrets bad for your health. So this made him think, well,
wait, a secon if secrets are bad for your health. What if he
had people tell their secrets. What if he had people start to journal and
write. Well, it has now been decades since his research has been replicated
around the world. And guess what, It doesn't matter how often you write,
how much you write. But you've got to write what happened to you
because it gets it outside of your body, right, he says, the
real healer is translating your emotional experience into words, and this changes how your
brain organizes the experience. It slows down the whole thinking process, so you're
not racing and ruminating. The other thing is it forces you to create a
story around it, so you now become the observer, the watcher, instead
of the star of the story. This is why journaling works. So it
also makes you write complete sentences that are related to the next sentence, and
it puts it together in your brain in a narrative. A narrative is easy
to solve compared to ruminating fear, ruminating shame, ruminating pain. I actually
find that I don't really understand exactly how I feel about a situation until I
journal and reread it back to myself, and yeah, like that's very telling.
That's how it makes sense, makes so much sense now. Also,
people ask the question, well, how much like you have to write twenty
minutes? Say they've done studies where they have people write twenty minutes every day,
five minutes everything. It doesn't matter. What it matters is that you
write that story around that trauma. That is so important. So that's why
I'm busy working on Shrink the Kids and blop your life. There. I
am in another life transition. Hey, when we come back, let's get
into our personal relationships and our technology. You know, the robots are here,
right. I have seen videos of robot sex factories. Sex robot factories.
They're so real, They're shockingly real. They feel like real skin,
they're warm. Oh no, it's crazy. They look like you can order
them in whatever kind of skin tone, hair, eyes, height, anything
you want. So the question is are you a robo sexual? Would you
like to have a relationship with a robot? Well, there's research to say
if you have certain kind of personality traits, you might be a robosexual.
Let's talk about it when we come back. You are listening to the Doctor
Wendy Waalsh Show on KFI AM six forty We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six forty.
KFI AM six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is
the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. I would like to welcome my Instagram audience.
Hi everybody. If you want to come in and see our iHeartRadio studio here
KFI in Burbank, California, just go on to my Instagram right now.
The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh. That's at Dr Wendy Walsh. After
this segment telling my KFI listeners and my Instagram watchers, I am going to
be taking your calls live. The phone number is one eight hundred and five
two zero one five three four. Reminder, I'm a psychology professor, not
a therapist. However, I've written three books on relationships, did a dissertation
on attachment theory. I'm obsessed with the science of love, so I'm really
happy to weigh in. So after I talk about whether you're a robo sexual
or not what the research says, then I'll be taking your calls. All
right, So there is new research now we know that robots are not just
on the horizon. They're actually there. If you want to go on YouTube
and you can see videos of robots being manufactured that look like real women.
I say women because there aren't many male robots, and there are there are
less women interested in having sex with male robots, but there are real robots
out there. You can order them in whichever size and style you like.
They're warm and they feel like skin texture and I don't know, it's just
so weird to me, but you know, better off to have young men
sex with a robot than out, you know, procuring sex in the form
of sexual assaults. Right, men get angry when they don't have enough mates,
so maybe it's a good thing. So anyway, some researchers from a
university in Canada basically wanted to better understand robosexuality. Oh yeah, it's going
to be sexual identity soon, robo sexuality and attitudes towards having sexual relationships with
robots. So they basically ask participants in a study, imagine you've just want
to raffle with a robot manufacturer and it allows you to try out a robot
from their entire brand of sex robots, what do you do Now, before
they asked them this question, they gave them three other surveys to look at
whether they had hostile sexism. That means, if you score high on hostile
sexism, you view gender relationship as competitive, full of conflict, and you
see women as trying to control men. The other thing they tested participants on
was something called social dominance orientation. These are people who are very competitive socially
right, and they care about the ranking in different groups. They're trying to
keep up with the Joneses, if you will. And then they also gave
them a questionnaire that scored them on socio sexual orientation, and that measures people's
attitudes towards monogamy or open sexual relationships. So if you score high on this,
you tend to be more interested in casual sex and you believe that sex
without love is okay, just open free sex people. That's the sex socio
sexual orientation. Okay, here's what the researchers found. First of all,
I'm not surprised by this first one. People score who scored high on hostile
style sexism were much more likely to be interested in sex with robots. So
this made the researchers ask a couple more questions of themselves. Well, first
of all, they found that more men scored higher in hostile sexism than women
did, and it showed that men who wanted sex with robots tended to be
high in anger and tended to distrust women. So there you go. Robot
is a nice little surguate. She keeps the mouth shut unless she's programmed to
have it open. I don't know how they it's a thing, Kayla,
it's a thing. I just never know when you're going to glean. You
never know you're wild. Well, okay. People who scored higher in social
dominance orientation the desire to maintain status differences between groups, keeping up with the
joneses, thinking that some people are below them and some people are above them.
I personally believe everybody's equal. By the way, they were also more
interested in sex robots, and the researchers hypothesized that maybe these people already see
others as objects to be used. Why not just use an object to be
used now Here was the most fascinating part of the study. People who were
more open in their sexual attitudes were less likely to be interested in sex with
robots. It's not interesting, you think if someone's interested in casual sex and
free and don't care about monogamy, then why not have sex with robot?
But the researchers thought about it and they said, you know, people who
are open to more casual sex probably get their sexual needs met all over the
place with other people who are open and into casual sex, So why would
they need a robot? Just saying why would they need a robot? All
right, when we come back, I am going to be answering your relationship
questions. Give me a call. If you're watching on Instagram, you can
see that the phone number is there. It's one eight hundred five two zero
one five three four. That's one eight hundred five two zero one KFI reminder.
I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor. But I have written
three books on relationships, and I did my dissertation on attachment theory, and
oh, I have been through so much heartbreak in my own life. I
have some doctor Wendy wisdom that I would love to lay on you. So
pick up the phone. The numbers one eight hundred five two zero one five
three four. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty were live everywhere on the iHeart Radio app. You've been listening to
Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear us live on KFI Am six forty
from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app