And here comes the Minnesota Goodbye. Let's dive right into the content written by
you, because remember you are the writers of the show. Thank you so
much. And we are still working on the stickers that say official staff writer.
And Susan was trying to design one last night that you go to these
apps online that's like design your own sticker and you can put whatever you want
on there. You can say, like, you know, Jenny's jailbirds and
you can have a little clip art picture of a jailbird or whatever. But
she's just not happy with it. So we're still working on that, but
it is coming. First one says, please don't say my name Ryan show
crew. You guys are absolutely killing it with this new setup. Thank you
for continuing to rocket even when rolls change. Smiley face emoji, thank you
very much. My husband and I are in the position to potentially purchase a
family property in the near future. It is beautiful, has some makreage,
great place to raise our family and forever home. The only thing I'm struggling
with is the fact that it's in my hometown. My hometown is fine,
don't get me wrong, but I struggle with the idea of living within the
same thirty mile radius my entire life. I know you guys are all transplants
to the Twin Cities, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts and opinions on
a third party that has no stake in the decision. Would you be disappointed
living in the same town you grew up in? Would you feel like you
missed out on the opportunity to create a life elsewhere? Thanks for doing what
you do every day. You're the best, Anonymous. I moved away from
my mom and dad's home in my hometown in Colorado Springs when I was twenty
one years old. My biggest regret was missing all of the years with them,
because I didn't. I saw them twice a year for the rest of
my life, maybe a little bit more as I got a little bit older
and I could afford to go see them more often. But yeah, I
went from seeing them every weekend or every couple of weeks to want a couple
of times a year. I'm really glad that I've got to live in other
places. But if you love your hometown and this is your forever home and
it's beautiful and you like it, I would say it's not terrible what do
you think, Jenny, I was going to say, if you like your
hometown, then go for it. Yes, personally, I'm not a huge
fan of my hometown. I am very happy I got out and like experience
more and gotten to like a big city and stuff. But that's like my
experience. That's not like I don't think you should go off based off of
that. But I also I'm not sure because she didn't give all the irky
I'm not sure who it is give all the details of if they've lived elsewhere
already, because it kind of sounds like I'm moving back. I don't know.
I'm a little confused. It doesn't sound like she's ever lived or they
I'm not sure whether they have lived anyway. It says I struggle with the
idea of living in the same thirty mile radius my entire life, which could
either mean that's where they would you know, that's the right, they're moving
back to the same town, or maybe they've never lived away from hometown.
I would just say that it's good to get out of your hometown for a
little bit, but that doesn't mean you have to do it for forever.
So but if you're happy with your hometown, and you like it and still
go out and see the world and not live elsewhere. You have to go
move somewhere to be able to experience the world. So I say go with
it. If you like your hometown, it's a good opportunity with the property
or whatever the situation is, I'd say go for it. And here's the
thing. If you are in a position to buy that, you know you
could always get I mean somewhere down the road you can get like a I
don't know, a winter home in Arizona or a winter home in Florida or
something like that. And here's the thing. Also, you are under no
obligation to stay in that home for the rest of your life. If you
live there for ten years and you go, you know what, it's not
us anymore. You can always move, which is easier said than done.
But you can always move. Next one, Hey, besties, I want
to comment on what Dave said a few days ago about Carson not living in
Minnesota anymore, because we saw him over the weekend in Las Vegas and we're
driving home from the airport and I said, you and I, Susan have
got to get used to the idea that Carson doesn't live at home anymore.
He lives in la he doesn't live at home. He's not coming home for
more than a couple of days to spend. He doesn't live at home anymore.
And she started to cry, and she said stop it, and I
said, well, okay, I'm not going to keep on if it's making
you upset. But it was true, and it's kind of a realization that,
you go, my kid doesn't live at home anymore. As someone who
moved out of state four and a half years ago, it's frustrating when my
parents say when you come home, when they mean back to Minnesota, because
I don't call Minnesota home anymore. Home is where my apartment, my partner,
and my cats are. So thank you for having that conversation with Susan,
because Carson will really appreciate that, and it's a subtle way of showing
that you respect his choices. Drake, I feel your pain about apartment hunting.
It is the worst. I haven't lived in Minnesota for a few years
now, but I found that Roseville was one of the cheaper cities while still
being central and close enough to the city. Maybe look in Roseville for something
that is not egregious. I don't know what the word egregious means, but
I've heard it before. Do you know what agreges me? I don't know
what it means either, but say I've heard, I've heard about it,
know what it means, but I'm impressed with your vocabulary. One last note.
Months ago, during the height of the Chumba casino ads, the first
time somebody wrote about it, I cackled because I've been contemplating writing in about
it too. Will they still play those ads? The other day I heard
a new one about a product for thick discolored toe nails, and I just
about threw up. Somebody told me that when they said it's like the gold
bond commercial where it's like it's disgusting, I thought it was so funny and
disgusting. I had to write in to see if anybody else has heard those
ads anyway. I love you all. Staff writer Laurel. Thank you Laurel
for being a staff writer. And I've heard about those ads, but I
have not heard them. But leave it to good old iHeart to play a
disgusting ad. But also thanks to the Toe Fungus Company for sponsoring the podcast.
So appreciate that. My name is Madison. This is kind of an
on air but this is interesting. Madison is asking if she can come in
and do a paper on us within the next months. I'd like to set
up a morning show where I can observe the show and interview Dave Jenny Drake
about their jobs. The opportunity not only to meet you guys, but to
learn more about a radio show I listened daily. It would be amazing.
Thanks for taking the time to read this email. Please reply as soon as
possible. Can I forward this to you, Jenny, and then you'll get
back to her. Okay, So Madison, I don't know if she listens
to the podcast, but I'm absolutely flattered when somebody wants to come in and,
like, you know, do something about our show. I'll just tell
you a quick little story. Years ago, two students came in and they
were probably high school, like ninth grade, tenth grade, and they came
in to interview the show, observe the show. They came in and they
basically were so bored. They had like a legal pad that they never wrote
anything on. They were bored. They looked around. I think they pulled
out their phones after a while, and they were just bored. And I
could tell this was an assignment they didn't really want to do, but apparently
the teachers stuck them with going to the radio station. But Madison, if
you want to come down, we will absolutely set that up. Okay,
let me find another one here. This one is about hypochondria, so let's
do it. Listen to the podcast. You're talking about hypochondriacs and lumps and
where your mind goes when you're going to see your doctor, because mine always
goes like, oh my god, I've got a tickle in my throat.
Of course it's cancer and I'm going to die. I better get my affairs
in order. Oh my god, I've got a pain in my big toe.
I'm sure my foot's gonna have to come off. I'm sure this is
what my mind does. I got to share my thoughts about my brother in
law. Listen to this. When I first started dating my husband about eleven
years ago, he told me that his brother had just been diagnosed with Parkins's
disease. Well, it turned out not to be true. It went nowhere.
Then we moved out of state, and I swear about once a year
my husband would get off the phone with his brother in tears because his brother
told him that he has another life threatening illness. He doesn't tell anybody else
in the family, just my husband because we live so far away. I
am the one left taking care of my distraught husband. It sucks. Most
recently, a few months ago, my brother in law told my husband that
he has leukemia. Oh my god, this crossed the line, as my
daughter has been battling leukemia since twenty twenty one. He told my husband that
he had a follow up schedule with the doctor for a month out to get
a bone marrow biopsy. What the actual f That's when I knew it was
made up. My daughter wasn't even allowed to leave the hospital when she got
her diagnosis. Treatment began immediately, and the bone marrow biopsy took place right
away. My husband loves his brother so much, but I'm having the hardest
time dealing with this constant attention seeking bullshit. Who okay, Glad I got
that off my chest. Also, the commercials are absolutely popping up mid sentence
on the regular this week. Thanks for reading, love y'all. I'm gonna
keep her name anonymous because it's a unique name. If I think it's interesting,
I don't really know at extent of a hypochondriac. But there was somebody
who used to work here, and she was a lovely person, but she
had every disease there was. I remember one time they called an ambulance because
her feet were swollen and she was certain that she was like a needed immediate
medical care, so they called an ambulance to come to the radio station because
her feet were swelling. And I think she's still that way. She's always
like, you know, this is bothering me. I can't do this anymore.
And so I think some people are just that well, some people really
do have health problems, but some people don't, and they just want the
attention. Probably who is going to say that is crossing the line from that
person who emailed then, because clearly that person is making shit up if they're
saying things that don't even make sense to what they're saying is wrong with them
with the leukemia stuff. So that person, I think honestly needs some mental
health because that's like really fucked up to continue and to worry your family about
something that's not even true. Like I know someone who has gone to the
are probably four or five times this year because this person does think that there's
something wrong with them pretty often, but that person doesn't drag other people in.
I think that this person legitimately just has anxiety and has these like anxiety
attacks, and then it heightens his hypochondriac side of things, Okay, And
so I know that like he's trying to work on that because he realizes and
he acknowledges that he's hypochondriac. He acknowledges it, Okay, Okay, he
does, And so I don't know. I don't know if there's been further
conversations with the brother in law and telling him he needs to stop because it's
really like unfair to her husband and the rest of the family. I don't
know that somebody like that can stop. Honestly, I think that there's some
people just love attention and they'll do just about anything they can do right or
wrong to get attention. I'll tell you a quick story, and I've talked
about this before. When nine to eleven happened, there was a woman who
claimed that she was in the tower. She burned her arm very badly.
Her husband died in the other tower, and she became a survivor's group like
leader, and she became a big kind of a public figure because she had
survived in the South Tower and she got out and her story was very tragic
that she lost her fiance and it was all a lie. It was called
there's a book and a movie on whatever platform you go on, the woman
who wasn't there. And and she got away with it for three or four
years until people started to go, wait, your story's changing and it doesn't
quite add up. And they never could find this fiance that supposedly died.
She made she made that up. No, she made the whole thing up.
And the big question is why why? And they the psychologists say,
some people just will do anything for attention. Yeah, and that's what she
wanted. Next email, curious if disposable vape pins is going to be the
next problem. During COVID, we had disposable mass laying all over parking lots
and along the curb side near traffic lights. Now it's vape pins. They're
everywhere. Next time you stop at a light, look at the littered vape
pins laying around. So do we know why people find it most wise to
toss him out the car window once spent? Is there a certain way to
dispose of these? It would be that should be followed like batteries, I
mean, a person is expected to take them to the local best buy and
recycle them. I don't know. I have you noticed that vape pins are
being thrown like out of the window. I haven't anyone that vapes that I
know, which aren't too many people They have like reusable ones, I swear,
so I've never I don't even know if I recognize. I mean,
I'm sure it looks exactly the same as a regular vap pen, but I
don't know if i'd know if it was a disposable one. I think the
ones that are disposable, they look like a cigarette, and you suck on
them, they light up and then they last for a little bit, then
you throw them away. I hope that doesn't become a thing, because that's
awful. It is. But I'm going to guess that the same people who
don't probably have a problem with littering or throwing cigarette butts, we would do
the same thing. Okay, ran story. We were talking about practical jokes
gone too far, and the practical joke that spurred all this was Carson's Buddies.
When he got back from his trip to Asia for five weeks. They
said, oh, man, something's wrong. We got to tell you.
No, we can't tell you what's wrong. We gotta tell you, we
gotta tell you. Know, we can't tell you. And he's like,
what tell me? And they kept him hanging for a day and he got
pissed. It turned out their practical joke was, Carson, your bathroom is
haunted. They all live in a house together, which they kept in God
And I said, that's a practical joke. That should have gone about five
minutes. And it went on for a day, and it really upset Carson.
Me and my cousin were aout twelve years old. We were at my
grandma's for Thanksgiving. We got the bright idea to take the deer head mounted
on her wall and peeking around the corner as Grandma's walking down the stairs.
Can you imagine you're walking down the stairs and a deer is peeking around the
corner. She screamed and fell down the stairs. She ended up being okay,
but me and my cousin got lectures from everybody in the stink Eye for
the next few years worth of gatherings. I know it's delayed, but I
only listened to the podcast because I worked the late shifts, so I'm snoozing
when you guys are busy entertaining. Thanks for making my nights go faster.
That is from Chantel Chantel. That is very funny. Thank you, And
let me check our time here, because we want to make sure we get
another grandma. She's just trying to, like minor business, be a good
grandma. And then you guys have to pull a little prank like that,
and I get at your kids you do shit like that, but I would
I would cry. I would feel so guilty if my grandma had fallen like
that, and I would just cry and be like I'm so sorry, Oh
my god, yeah, no kidding. When my brother was in we called
it junior high, but he was in like eighth or ninth grade. He
was in the art room and at school and there was a floor to ceiling
window in the art room and a kid was about to sit down on a
stool and my brother pulled it out from underneath him. The kid fell through
the window and cut his arm wide open and had to get like, I
don't know, it's been so long. Twenty stitches, thirty stitches tends to
I don't know. The kid was pretty seriously hurt because my brother, as
a joke, pulled his stool out from underneath him, and the kid didn't
bounce off the window. He fell through the window and gashed his arm.
There's a practical joke that my brother felt so bad about it, I didn't
even bring it up with him anymore, because, you know, even though
that was a long time ago, it still upsets my brother that it was
something that went so wrong. I have a similar story did. It's not
as bad, but it was pretty bad. I was in sixth grade and
our lockers at the time were like half lockers, so you could have one
a little lower, one a little higher, and the guy Jordan Peterson next
to me, he had a higher one, and so as a joke,
I kind of like moved his locker a little bit like in it was like
wide open, and I moved the door halfway in the door, yes,
sorry, And he had been bending over getting something out of his backpack,
and he stood up and just nailed the corner of the locker on his head
and started bleeding. And he didn't like feel a lot of pain for it.
Luckily he wasn't crying or anything, but he gave me the worst look
in the world. And I obviously wasn't trying to injure him. I was
just trying to fuck with him and like shut his locker a little bit,
and then he had to get some staples in his head. So yeah,
I oh, I felt That was another instance where I cried and I was
like, I'm never I'm going to get detention for over you. That was
in sixth grade. Sixth grade, so ten eleven or something, But yeah,
I felt so bad. And all it was supposed to be was like
us messing into each other because we were like brother and sister. We'd always
like to argue out our lockers. We were kind of friends, but we'd
like mess with each other. And yeah, I feel bad for a little
sixth grade Jenny because you were just you didn't mean to hurt anybody, and
you were such a kind person, which brings me to something that I I
didn't mean to save this for last, but I want to cover this one
because there's something on here that applies to you. Okay, you ready,
So this one starts off. Hi, you three delightful people want to drop
a line and say thank you for being kind to polyamorous people when that topic
comes up on the show. I notice you're all very respectful. I mean
we're respectful to anybody's whatever sexual you know, likes, dislikes, or whatever.
As long as it's legal, we really don't care. It might not
be our thing, but if it's your thing, that's your thing. It's
kind of like you might love mushrooms on your pizza, which I think is
disgusting, but I know you have a right to like mushrooms on your pizza.
It is tough being polyamorous. It is getting better, though. There
are abusers in every walk of life, but when it's a polyamorous person and
an abuser at the same time, it really gets noticed. Makes it kind
of hard for the rest of us. It is much better to be out
either way feels more comfortable. So thank you for being so nice. Here
are two things from listening to the show. Number one, be positive.
Oh, I've two are things that I've learned from listening to the show.
Okay, be positive. Look for the good, or at least don't look
for the bad first. That is a habit we all could work on.
You're more positive than me, but that's a very good point. Be positive,
look for the good, or at least don't look for the bad first.
There's something that I love to say to myself. We're about as happy
as we choose to be. If you are always unhappy, you're always bitching,
you're always you are, you've chosen to be unhappy, probably subconsciously.
But we're about as happy as we choose to be. This is one that
applies to you, Jenny. You don't have to say just kidding after every
time that you are kidding. It makes it more funny if you don't clarify.
Because Jenny is so nice, she'll say something like, God, that
shirt looks awful on you. Just kidding, And it's like, it is
funnier if you are a little bit more brutal because I know you're kidding.
You're my friend, and people listen to the show know that you're kidding stuff.
You're like, oh odd, what happened to you? You look like
shit today? Just kidding. I mean, that's not a good example,
you know what I mean. That's actually mean. But it's like, you
know, I don't want to invite you to my wedding because you would eat
all the cake. Just kidding. Well, you don't need to say just
kidding. Yeah, so don't do that. I know I'm guilty of it
because I just I get scared sometimes because somebody from Montana that just moved here
might have just tuned in and the first thing they hear is ME insulting you,
and then they don't get my humor or the sarcasm or something, which
we've learned sarcasm doesn't work very well on the radio. You've got to be
pretty clear. Was stuff like that? I mean, kind well, here's
it. Here's an example, like it came up like whenever a year or
so ago whatever, somebody said Jenny has a horse face. So and Jenny
didn't have a horse face. She's beautiful, but somebody said she did.
And then I think Steve or me or Falon or piled on you and we're
like, Jenny, I wouldn't say I have a horse face, but that
saddle looks really nice on you. And that could sound kind of mean,
but it's so obviously a joke that you know, I wouldn't at the end
go just kidding, But I will say that if it just came up out
of the blue, like you know, Jenny has a horse face, I
would feel bad because it sounds like such a mean thing to say, so
anyway, thanks for that. I appreciate it. And that one is the
last email today on the Minnesota Goodbye. There are more lefts, So if
you have become a staff writer and you've sent in an email for the Minnesota
Goodbye, we will try our best to get to it on next week's podcast
for the Minnesota Goodbye, that is it. Have a great weekend or whenever
you listen to this and send your emails to Ryan Show at k DWB dot
com and we appreciate it.