Don't think about it. By William W. Stewart. Tommy wasn't really a
timid child. Sometimes he didn't understand things and was puzzled. More Often grown
ups couldn't or wouldn't understand things that were perfectly clear to him, and he
was more puzzled. Occasionally such things worried and even upset him a little.
Then Mamma and sometimes Daddy would translate bafflement in the silly adult terms and think
that he was afraid. It was that way about the hole in the closet
when Tommy was just a bit over three. Tommy wasn't really afraid. Mister
Bhaer was afraid, and the thing did puzzle Tommy, so he asked about
it, but he never did get any sensible or satisfactory answers, and that
did worry and perhaps even upset him a little. But he wasn't afraid even
before Daddy finally told him, now, Tommy boy, don't think about it,
and it won't scare you. Really, there's nothing there to hurt you
if you just don't think about it. So don't you think about it any
more. There's Daddy's big boy. This certainly was not any sort of explanation,
but still Tommy did try hard not to think about it, as Daddy
said, and now he really doesn't think about it at all any more,
or about Aunt Martha either. The hole was in the closet in Tommy's room.
Tommy and Mamma and Daddy lived in a not very big, not very
new frame house on the edge of the city, and Aunt Martha lived with
them. Tommy didn't, at least not yet, although there were promises have
any brothers or sisters, but he did have his own room and a family
of his own too. It was the extra bedroom, and it had a
closet that was cramped and with no light. Tommy liked his room. It
was small, with a small bed, and it belonged to him along with
his family of Mister Bhaer and Old Rabbit and Cooki Koala. It was also
an easy crying range of Mama and Daddy's room and Aunt Martha's room, so
if mister Bhaer, who was the timid one, got frightened in the night,
Tommy could cry purely in mister Bear's behalf to bring help or at least
company. Tommy and his family all liked the closet well enough too, except
for the shelf that was out of reach even from the don't climb stool.
The closet was good to hide in or play bear cave or rabbit hole,
and fine for finding missing toys after Mamma had a spell of playing cleaning house.
The day Tommy found the hole in the closet was the week after his
third birthday. Daddy was at work, Mamma was out chopping. It was
a rainy afternoon. Aunt Martha was sitting with Tommy in the afternoon television.
He was in his room with his family, and they all agreed as soon
as they heard the television coming on strong that it would be a very poor
afternoon to waiste on a nap. Besides, mister Bear's feelings had been hurt
by having been somewhat left out of things recently in favor of new birthday presents,
now largely broken or tiresome. To make it up to him, Tommy,
an old Rabbit, and Cookie all agreed to play bear cave in the
closet. It was a nice game and going well enough, except for some
grumblings from Cookie Koala, who always wanted to argue and claim that bears lived
in trees, not caves. But then and it was mister Bear's fault for
wanting it darker so he could hibernate. The closet doors shut tight. That
didn't seem so serious at first. It would only mean a scolding for being
out of bed when Aunt Martha would come to open it after Tommy hollered loud
enough. And then there was the hole in the closet, back in the
corner, next to the broken drum. They all saw it, and they
heard the ugly thing talking or thinking at them. It stretched out a part
of itself at mister Bhaer, who was the closest. It didn't grab mister
Bhaer, but he was terrified just the same. And none of them liked
it. They didn't like it at all. The ugly thing couldn't come out
of the hole because the hole wasn't big enough yet, but it tried,
and it was making the hole bigger, and it kept thinking at them,
red thoughts and hungry as it tore at the edges of the hole. The
family all looked at Tommy, so Tommy cried and yelled. Finally Aunt Martha
heard him and came to open the door. Then the afternoon sunlight streamed across
the floor into the closet, and the ugly red thoughts from the thing pulled
back far back so you could barely notice them, and you couldn't see the
hall anymore, even though you knew it was still there, at least Tommy
and mister Bhaer, an old rabbit, and Cooky Koala knew. After she
opened the closet door and carried Tommy from the closet to the living room,
Aunt Martha scolded. She wasn't really mad, because she had waited until a
commercial interrupted her television program before answering the cries from the closet, But she
scolded because she was Aunt Martha, and scolding is what Aunt Martha did.
A really good cry, even one worked up strictly as a service for a
companion, takes a little time to turn off. Then, after a few
settling gulps, Tommy tried to explain, Auntie Aunt Martha, there's a hole
in the cave in the closet, and there's a thing inside of it.
He looked at mister Bhaer, whom he was holding by one foot, and
at cookie dropped by Aunt Martha on the sofa for confirmation. Then quickly he
wriggled down from Auntie's lap old Rabbit bravely. Tommy ran to the closet and
was relieved the door was open, and in the gray afternoon light, the
hole was still not to be seen. Old Rabbit, who always had a
bad temper, was annoyed and snappish at having been left behind. But he
was there and all right. Tommy rescued him and ran back to Aunt Martha.
It was hungry, he continued his explanation. Aunt Martha, as always,
was difficult. Who is hungry? You shouldn't be hungry, Tommy.
You just had your lunch an hour ago. Do you want a glass of
milk? Not me hungry? Tommy was impatient. Aunt Martha never seemed able
to grasp any idea more complex than a glass of milk or wet pants.
Little boys, in her mind nearly always either wanted the one or had the
other. Such things she could and did attend to with a virtuous sense of
duty done, but anything else was beyond her. Tommy, are your pants
wet? Tommy sighed in resignation, and wet as pants. It was the
only thing to do, Otherwise Aunty would fuss and fume, accomplishing nothing,
understanding nothing for the rest of the afternoon. Ten minutes later, in dry
pants, he finished an unwanted glass of milk. Aunt Martha, conscience appeased,
returned to soap opera. Tommy and his family napped safely forgotten played away
the afternoon, but not in a closet or even as was usual on rainy
days, in Tommy's room, instead, finding Daddy's old briefcase full of papers.
They played office in the family room, with Old Rabbit grumbling about having
to be Miss Wixie, who drove the electric typewriter in Daddy's office. Mamma
and Daddy came home together at a bit after five. Tommy took his scolding
about messing up Daddy's papers in good part he had expected it, but Aunt
Martha was angry about the scolding she got for letting him mild, though it
was in retaliation. She said, Tommy, you are a naughty, naughty
boy, and for being so naughty, you must take your big bear and
your rabbit and the little bear or whatever the thing is, and put them
away in the closet and leave them there till tomorrow. No, no,
no, no, I won't it isn't fair. There weren't bad and the
ugly thing in the hole, and it might come out, and it's hungry,
and my family is all afraid Tommy. Aunt Martha's voice was sharp.
You stop that nonsense and put your toys. Wait, wait up now,
said Daddy, who also lived in the grown up world, but who sometimes
tried to understand things. What is this about a hole in the closet?
What about something being hungry? That's all, said Tommy. The ugly thing
in the hole in the closet, It is hungry. There was more to
it than that, of course, But how could a thing like that be
explained through a wall of grown closed minds. There was the hole in the
closet. You couldn't exactly see it, You could only sort of feel seeing
it. And the hairy thing, at least, it seemed harry and shapeless.
We're having any different shapes and a mouth and sharp teeth. And it
had reached out with something and touched mister Bhaer and would have eaten him too,
if he had blood. But then it had pulled back from mister Bhaer,
and red hunger thoughts came stronger and stronger even now stretching out from the
hole where it was hidden in the closet. Tommy could feel the reaching,
greedy thoughts, but he couldn't explain all that there is a hole in the
closet, Tommy said again, But he knew that not even Daddy would understand.
Of course Mamma wouldn't. Not mamma, who was loving but very busy,
and just sat so often dreaming or listening to Baby's sister that they said
was in her stomach so big and fat now as to leave little lap room.
Mamma was too occupied looking inward to look out much of Tommy. Daddy,
to give him credit, was nearly always will in the look, but
there were so many things he couldn't see. Still, Tommy had to try.
The ugly thing in the hole, it wants something to eat, Oh
Tommy, such horrible nonsense, that was mamma. She wasn't even going to
think about it. It is a question sometimes whether Baby's sisters are worth all
the bother in the trouble Now, Tommy, Daddy was being helpful. You
say there is a hole in your closet, and that there's something in the
hole, well sort of really, the ugly thing wasn't so much in the
hole as on the other side of it. But that was close enough,
all right. Then, Tommy, suppose you show it to me. What
show me the hole, Tommy? Now, yes, the hole in the
closet, Tommy. Yes, Daddy wasn't going to work out anything good,
and Tommy didn't want to go back to the closet and close the closet door.
Anyway, The thing didn't eat mister Bhaer because mister Bhaer didn't have blood,
but Daddy had, and Tommy they went to the closet at least if
he was risking a Daddy, Tommy thought he was protecting mister Bhaer and the
others. Now, where's this hole, Tommy? Over there by the corner,
Tommy pointed. Daddy went into the closet. The look. Tommy started
to close the door. In the black dark, Daddy would see what Tommy
meant about the thing in the hole from the outside. Tommy started to close
the door. It was a small closet and hardly big enough for both of
them. Tommy, what are you trying to do? Open that door?
But after all, the hole wasn't there, or scarcely seemed to be there
except in the dark. Open it up wider, m I believe I do
see. Wait till I get my lighter, say by George, I believe
you're right. There is a little hole there, looks like a mouse hole
there. It was, as Tommy might have known, cron ups will always
avoid seeing the important things. Of course, there was a mousehold there,
the home of little old mister mouse with the wiggly nows and the gray whiskers.
He had been nice, but he wasn't there anymore. And Tommy had
a pretty clear idea of what had happened to him, That poor little old
mister mouse had had blood. But Daddy, it was hopeless, Dory Martha.
Daddy's hunting instinct was aroused. Have we got a mouse trap? And
he cheese? There's a hole in that closet, little old mouse hole,
and I'm going to well, perhaps this would be better than if he hadn't
found anything. Tommy followed Daddy about as he finally located a mouse trap.
No cheese. He cut a little piece of meat for bait. Of course,
Tommy knew no trap would catch the ugly thing. When in the world
happened to my lighter, Daddy wanted to know. Tommy didn't answer that,
but at least everybody, even Aunt Martha, had forgotten about shutting Tommy's family
up in the closet. For now, that was enough. But later,
after supper, after bath, after the shooting picture on the TV, it
was time for bed. Daddy, get on to bed now, son,
past bedtime. Hop to it, Daddy. I want to sleep with you
and Mamma tonight. Well, it was a mighty dark night. The afternoon
rain had built up into a real storm. Mister Bhaer was terrified. Cookey
was scared. An even tough old rabbit didn't want to sleep in Tommy's room
with the ugly thing in the hole so hungry and waiting to rip its way
out of the hole when it got dark enough, and only the street light
outside the room to keep away the dark because they would never let Tommy keep
his light on at night. My family and me don't want to sleep in
my room tonight. Now, Tommy, just because it's a little stormy,
Daddy's big boy isn't afraid of a little wind and rain. I'm not afraid,
Daddy. It's my family. You know how families are. You always
say about Mamma, never mind that. Now to bed your own bed.
But Daddy, there's the ugly thing in the hole, and it's hungry.
The mouse. Daddy went to look at his trap, switching on the light
in Tommy's room. He came back in a minute. The devil, did
Daddy know. No, the little devil got away with the bait, clean
as a whistle, only a little plaster dust. There's something left in the
trap where I put the meat. Mister Bear shivered. Don't be foolish,
bear, you don't have blood. The ugly thing won't get you. Tommy
told him softly. But mister Bear wouldn't listen. He was a cry baby,
a scaredy cat. But to tell the truth, the real, honest
truth, the whole family and even Tommy didn't feel too good about it.
Tommy, what was that you were saying? Daddy? I want to sleep
with you and Mama, Me and my family were scared of that thing.
Tommy knew it was no less than his duty to protect them all. Oh,
now, Tommy, you don't mean to say you're afraid of a little
old mouse, a big boy like you. Well, mister Bear, is
I don't Daddy, it is there honest, it is in that hole and
it's hungry and it'll come out in the Darken Tommy, a little mouse,
get on into your room now, and no more argument. Tommy's face began
to crumple. If he had to, he would fight this one out all
the way. Tears, tantrum, kick, scream, gasp, hold his
breath and turn blue. Now now, Tommy boy, Daddy did mean well,
and sometimes he was even right, and so Tommy always did try to
do it. Daddy said, Tommy, you mustn't let things like that bother
you. If we can't catch the little mouse, forget it. There's nothing
more we can do, So just don't think about it, you see,
sniff, No, don't think about it, that's all. There is nothing
there that can hurt you if you just don't think about it. So don't
think about it. That's that he's big boy. Well, and then can
we sleep with you? And mamma aunt Martha rang in her nickels worth.
The boy ought to be ashamed to be afraid of a little mouse. It's
not not what h it's mister bear that's afraid of the And you just stop
that nonsense about those ridiculous stuffed animals. You hear me, nobody should make
such a fuss about a little mouse, Mama does, Mama, Tommy let
two fete tears trickled down his cheeks a warning, but he meant them too,
Mama, can't we all right? All right, stop this stupid wrangling.
You know how it gets on my nerves. For goodness sake. Let
him sleep with us tonight anyway. I don't blame him. I wouldn't sleep
a wink in the same room with a mouse. Be sure you shut our
door tonight tight. You're spoiling that child, said Aunt Martha. Sourly,
Auntie said, Tommy, I bet your chicken. Let your door stay open.
Well, huffed Aunt Martha, the impertinence. I certainly shall keep my
door open. No mouse is going to keep me from getting good fresh air.
Tommy was a very bright little boy. Now with the door shutting Mamma
and Daddy's room and Aunt Martha's door open, you wouldn't think about the ugly
thing in the hole waiting for dark, real dark to come out and eat.
All right, Tommy, this wants you can sleep with your mother and
me. Go to bed and mind your sleep quiet, and don't spread those
stuff your family all over to bed either yes, Daddy and Daddy what I
won't think about it now to think in the hole. Tommy said his good
nights tonight. He even kissed Aunt Martha as if he meant it, and
he took his family and he went to bed and Mom and Daddy's room.
He did not think about the ugly thing. He went right to sleep,
lying at the edge of the big, big bed. Tommy and Old Rabbit
and Cookie Koala and even mister Barrow went right to sleep. Outside. The
wind blew hard and harder, and the rain drove down, and it was
dark. The television reception was bad. Everyone went to bed early, good
night, lights out. In Tommy's room, it was quite dark, with
only the faint watery rays of the street lights on the corner swimming in through
the rain. In the closet there was a stirring, a fumbling, a
tearing, and the hole in the blackness grew was forced bigger, wider,
as the thing bushed and ripped at whatever was barring it from the warm,
red oozing food it craved it must have it would have, And in a
sudden gust, the wind blew harder still somewhere in town blocks away, a
wire fell, and blue sparks flashed and crackled in the dripping night. In
Tommy's house, the refrigerator went off, the electric clock stopped, the street
light blinked once and was gone. And in Tommy's closet there was a sudden,
mighty surge of effort break and something not a sound, but something,
a harsh and bloody sense or feel of rending greed, flowing outward from the
closet in a wave. Aunt Martha and her sleep said no, oh,
no, Daddy in her to a snore with a strained grunt. Mamma whimpered
softly and hugged to herself her swollen stomach. Tommy blinked, then was awake
soothingly. He patted Cokey and old Rabbit. He squeezed mister Behear's paw.
Then he slipped his hand into the opening and mister Behar's overalls and took out
Daddy's cigarette lighter. He knew how to work it, but first he waited.
Don't think about it, Daddy had told him, and he didn't think
about it, really, but he couldn't help feeling it. The ugly thing
was out clear, out of the hole now and moving. He could feel
that, and the awful hunger moving with it. Aunt Martha's room was closest
and her door was open. Mom and Daddy's room was closed. The ugly
thing moved fast, faster, and reached out, thirsting hungering. From Aunt
Martha's room came the quavering wail, and from the thing there flowed a sense
of vicious evil. Joy. There it was, But was it enough?
Tommy hugged mister Bhaer once tightly and slipped noisily from the bed. He wasn't
thinking about it. He couldn't, He wouldn't think about it, but he
knew what he had to do. He had the lighter at the bedroom door.
He worked it, opened the door a crack, thrust it out,
and then in a little rush back to bed where he lay quietly, and
he didn't think about it. He and mister Bhaer, an old rabbit and
cookie Koala. After a little the sense of feeding hunger was gone, and
the feel of the ugly thing was gone, back into the hole in the
closet, forced back by the flickering yellow light of the flames started by the
cigarette lighter. Then when the smell of smoke grew thick in the room,
and he could hear the crackling of fire burning the house. Tommy shook Daddy
awake. It wasn't hard to get out through the bedroom window, except for
Mamma, but she made it all right. And Tommy had a little trouble,
holding tightly to each member of his family as Daddy lifted him out of
the window, but they made it all right too. Of course, Aunt
Martha didn't make it, how could she. But it was fun watching the
fireman in the rain from the Crassmire's porch next door, as the house and
the closet with the hole all burned up together, Aunt Martha. Funny thing.
Tommy heard one of the firemen say to another the next day in the
sunshine as they looked over the smoldering ash. The old bat must have been
as dry as dust inside. Twenty years in the department, and I never
did see a body so completely consumed, teeth, a little bone. Hey,
get on away from your son, Get along on home with you.
Daddy, and Mamma said. Aunt Martha had gone away on a trip.
Tommy might have known pretty well where she had gone, if he had thought
about it, But he didn't think about it. None of his family did.
What for Aunt Martha had to go away? Sure she went all right?
Who missed Aunt Martha anyway? There were lights in all of the closets
in the new house they moved to, and lots of room for everyone,
even baby sister. There were no holes, not even mouse holes in any
of the closets, and of don't think about it.