WEBVTT

1
00:00:06.839 --> 00:00:11.119
Welcome to into the night. I'm
Nari, your guide on today's excursion down

2
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:15.560
a twisted path. Be careful not
to get lost. Be it dark or

3
00:00:15.640 --> 00:00:20.000
light, It's easy to lose your
way. Are you ready, then let's

4
00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:33.759
begin a full and happy life.
I'm not one to brag, but I've

5
00:00:33.799 --> 00:00:38.560
had a great life. Have I
faced adversities? Of course I have.

6
00:00:39.920 --> 00:00:44.479
What kind of life would it be
if everything was roses? No, I'm

7
00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:49.759
happy to say I've experienced it all. I've been joyful and in the deepest

8
00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:55.200
pits of depression, but that's what
life is all about. A boring life,

9
00:00:55.399 --> 00:01:00.880
one without the ability to really feel, would be a waste. My

10
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:06.319
life wasn't wasted. I've made memories, and with each one I look back

11
00:01:06.359 --> 00:01:11.200
on, I relived the ecstasy and
the pain. It's wonderful to have seen

12
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.200
and felt at all. As life
as I know it draws to a close,

13
00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:22.280
I'm loving each and every opportunity I've
had to truly experience the ups and

14
00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:26.920
downs that are meant to add meaning
and depth to life. For a time,

15
00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:32.879
I had an ideal childhood days spent
playing amongst my mother's flowers and taking

16
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:36.760
walks down our lane with Missy,
our family border colleague gave me a sense

17
00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:42.719
of security that lasted until I was
old enough to understand what actually happened in

18
00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:49.439
our household. Perspective that came with
age told me why that care free time

19
00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:55.359
came to an end. For a
while, I took it personally. Then

20
00:01:55.439 --> 00:02:00.120
I realized that none of it was
about me. My father's angry outbursts and

21
00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:07.359
his fall into alcoholism were his tragedy
to bear, not mine. His life

22
00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:12.479
was tortured, and the man simply
couldn't hope. Was I traumatized at times?

23
00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:17.800
Yes, However, I was determined
to make my life amount to more

24
00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:25.080
than a lame excuse that my father
ruined my life. He didn't he ruined

25
00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:30.879
his life. I still had the
one I was given, one with the

26
00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:35.759
ability to make my own choices and
to chart my own path. And that's

27
00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:39.319
exactly what I did. Even the
worst of those times growing up are treasured

28
00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:44.599
by me as I look back.
They made me grow, They made me

29
00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:52.199
more human and more understanding. Compassion
never blooms in a safe and steady field.

30
00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:58.680
That's a lesson. Some aren't fortunate
enough to learn. Easy lives with

31
00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:04.520
few obstacles make a person cold and
shallow. What's the point of living if

32
00:03:04.520 --> 00:03:09.159
you don't learn how to empathize with
others. I believe it would be impossible

33
00:03:09.439 --> 00:03:15.680
to value or cherish the experiences of
others if I hadn't lived through my own

34
00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:21.120
hard knots. No, I haven't
gone through the exact same victories and failures

35
00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:27.520
that others have, but I understand
pain, I understand fear. I know

36
00:03:27.719 --> 00:03:34.280
what it's like to be all alone. Our experiences are different, but I

37
00:03:34.439 --> 00:03:38.960
learned over time that we don't have
to walk in the same shoes as another

38
00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:46.199
person to appreciate the burdens they carry
along their path. And authentic life requires

39
00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:52.039
being able to put others before yourself. I've tried to find that authentic life,

40
00:03:52.719 --> 00:03:57.960
and at my age, I think
I've been successful. I haven't lived

41
00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:01.680
a perfect life, but that's the
beauty of it. After I went through

42
00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:05.680
my rebellious stage as a teenager,
I put away most of my foolishness and

43
00:04:06.199 --> 00:04:11.120
focused on getting a degree so I
could earn a living. I dabbled in

44
00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:15.560
one major after another until I settled
on engineering. I learned all that I

45
00:04:15.599 --> 00:04:18.160
could in each class, even if
it didn't directly apply to my major.

46
00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:23.800
I made friends, some of whom
I had for years until I experienced the

47
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:27.639
grief of watching good friends die when
we were young. However, we had

48
00:04:27.639 --> 00:04:31.240
a grand time along with my friends. I went to parties, sampled a

49
00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:36.480
few things I probably shouldn't, and
dated some pretty girls. None of those

50
00:04:36.519 --> 00:04:42.600
young ladies compared to my Clara.
She had a contagious laugh, bright blue

51
00:04:42.639 --> 00:04:46.000
eyes, and a sense of adventure. Mary and her was the best decision

52
00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:51.120
I ever made. We built a
life together, traveled the world, raised

53
00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:57.439
a family, and saw each other
through sickness and health. If I have

54
00:04:57.720 --> 00:05:01.360
any regrets in life, I didn't
get more time with my sweet wife.

55
00:05:02.360 --> 00:05:08.040
Thinking of her makes me smile and
cry at the same time. But I

56
00:05:08.120 --> 00:05:12.800
know I must take the good with
the bad in life. And Clara brought

57
00:05:12.879 --> 00:05:15.720
so much good to this world.
Our three children, two boys and a

58
00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:19.360
girl, brought us joy and more
than our fair share of gray hands.

59
00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:25.879
Each of them were bright, happy, boisterous children, and what a blessing

60
00:05:25.920 --> 00:05:29.560
it was to have raised them.
I made sure I provided for them and

61
00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:33.360
gave them a great foundation for their
lives. They in turn made us proud

62
00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:40.519
and gave us eight beautiful grandchildren.
Till enough We had stresses throughout the years,

63
00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:43.879
like the time I lost my job
due to the economy crashing, or

64
00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:46.639
the time we fled wildfires in the
night with nothing but the clothes on our

65
00:05:46.639 --> 00:05:50.279
backs. I guess you could say
we had some excitement here and there.

66
00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:56.360
In the end, every crisis worked
out for the best. As long as

67
00:05:56.360 --> 00:06:01.480
I had Clara by my side,
no problem seemed insurmountable. Yes, it's

68
00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:06.560
been wonderful living this life. Not
everyone has been as fortunate. As we

69
00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:12.639
grew older, Clara and I faced
health problems, but we continued to live

70
00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:16.040
life to its fullest. After she
became ill, we couldn't travel the way

71
00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:21.079
we had before, but I didn't
need to go anywhere exotic or flashy to

72
00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:27.160
find contentment. Knowing the person you
love feels the same way about you is

73
00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:33.360
the sweetest destination to have. Holding
her hand gave me more satisfaction than any

74
00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:39.240
European or Central American vacation could have. My heart still aches to know my

75
00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:44.160
Clara passed away five years ago.
I've been only without her. Our children

76
00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:47.040
check in on me and make sure
they visit as often as they can.

77
00:06:47.759 --> 00:06:53.560
Nothing feels the void left when my
soulmate went to the afterlife. I've never

78
00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:57.120
been a church pew on Sunday kind
of guy, but I am a believer.

79
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:01.360
I know I will see my Clara
again. I think the nurse is

80
00:07:01.399 --> 00:07:05.560
about to come back and check my
vitals. Our visit may need to end

81
00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:11.120
so he can run some tests.
From what I overheard earlier, I don't

82
00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:15.360
think my vitals are looking so well. I may not have much time left,

83
00:07:16.439 --> 00:07:20.920
but I appreciate you listening to me
prattle on about this life I've lived.

84
00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:28.560
You've made this old man think about
some wonderful times. A young man

85
00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:32.879
in a crisp white lab coat walked
through the door. Yes, it looks

86
00:07:32.879 --> 00:07:38.160
like it's time to remove these wires. Time to recalibrate and run this again.

87
00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:45.639
Simulation complete flashed on the computer screen. The technician flipped the power switch

88
00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:50.439
off and unplugged the robot from the
wires measuring responses to stimuli. He scanned

89
00:07:50.439 --> 00:07:55.519
the data on the digital clipboard he
held in his hand. Doctor Paulson will

90
00:07:55.560 --> 00:07:59.800
be pleased to see our new AI
subject is almost ready for our real world

91
00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:05.759
spirits. This one seems to really
have the hang of emotions. He reeled

92
00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:09.040
that he activated robot through the door, turning off the light as he left.

93
00:08:18.360 --> 00:08:22.759
Thank you for joining me for this
episode of the Into the Night Anthology

94
00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:28.279
podcast. Written by Caroline Giamanco,
narrated by Nari Kwak, Theme music by

95
00:08:28.360 --> 00:08:33.000
Nico Rodriguez, all other original music, sound design and editing by Omenhawk Studios.

96
00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:37.279
You can find our links in the
show notes. Into the Night is

97
00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:41.200
on your favorite podcatcher, so make
sure to like, subscribe and leave a

98
00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:45.240
five star review to help other excursionists
to join us. I'll see you next

99
00:08:45.240 --> 00:08:48.600
time, and remember, whether in
the shadows or in the daylight, all

100
00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:54.320
twisted paths lead you into the night. Into the Night Anthology is a creative

101
00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:54.720
typo entertainment production