Hello everyone, Welcome to episode forty five. That's that's a big number.
Wow of isakai Dungeons and Dragons the best D and D podcast on the Internet.
Better than Critical Role, better than Dimension twenty, better than Adventure Zone,
better than all the other ones. I don't know one of the names
you just listened, better than all of those. Wow, yeah, fuck
you Matthews. Hey, he plays line one piece. I have to draw
a line somewhere. Okay, no, no, no, I like Matthew
Meerson. I think I like Matthew. You justin McElroy whatever. That is
not the DM. That's Grifford McElroy the M. At one point, I
guess they did. You know what, You're right, it's just a weird
first one for you to say fuck you two like that's I just really like
Griffin. You're right, people today listen, I was straight up to say,
like Griffin, McCrory, Breda, Lee Mulligan and Matthew Mercer are all
incredible d ms and far out of my league, and all of that beforehand
with yeah, welcome to the worst you know what D and D. The
only D and D podcast that East Guy dn D is better than is one.
I mean, I love I love me some one. Honest, guys,
East Guy D and D is the worst dn D I've ever watched.
Technically wow, that's true. This is the mean episode. Where's the other
one and the other D the other than our? I mean, you're watching
the one you're doing right now? Technically speaking, Oh god, that is
true. But mine's death actually, mine's probably the worst your genuinely, Actually,
what what are we doing here? We're playing Touch of Dragons. I'm
here with Norman Briggs. Hey, I'm here. I'm here with Anthony Teking.
I am tore the Viking. I can't counter forty five. Are you
still tour? Yeah? Why not? Yeah? Yeah, I guess he
is. He's still he's still tall, He's not he didn't have just one
fight. I mean, come on, yeah, I'm gonna milk this as
long as I can. All right, I'm here with Daniel Greene Wilhelm.
Welcome. He's the guy willing to get into the truth that happened with the
drones tracks under the rat Mama, let me tell you about my Arid Rodgers'
opinions quick. I was like, genuinely, I was so grateful that all
that Aaron Rodgers conversation was pre record in the episode, and I'm like,
oh, thank god, and now you've brought You've brought it kicking and streaming
into the into the record, kicking into the stream and not even Aaron Rodgers.
I'm so sorry if you somehow you don't apologize Aaron Rodgers, this is
my pol I am, I am. I feel bad for the guy right
now. I Aaron Rodgers. I like the New York Jets. I need
a New York Jets clock. When I was in middle school for it looked
name Aaron Rodgers claims aids was created by the government. That was the water
cliff I saw do with that from joining the Jets that what do you think
crashed into the towers burns. All right, it's just gonna date the episode
in this world that Aaron Rodgers did not eleven. Oh gosh, oh this
is gonna get demonetized. Yeah, probably okay, And last time on I
D and D. Fun fact, I have I have the lowest rate of
my name being said on the show because usually by the time it gets to
me in the instructions at the beginning episode that somebody else has so badly derailed
the episode forgets what he was doing. Rusted. You gotta start with Mark.
Next time, you gotta stake out, goes Mark, then me,
then then Daniel Green. Last that time, that time, I did it
on purpose. I thought, yeah, I saw you like you and your
waitings. I'm also here with Schwavity Cody. Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't
want to hear his parents are over and he's up torow. Okay, okay,
okay, his parents aren't over. Yeah, my parents are over.
I thought they got divorced, Like they're getting divorced tomorrow or some ship to
announce it. My parents are over. Everyone. We've got a quick announcer
before the episode starts. Mark's parents are getting divorced. Can we get some
rip? They saw his video of him doing Gago style, but they said
this is unacceptable. How could we raise this child? Yeah, people have
been telling me that that video I put I put the comment in the chat
that that it's been showing off on there for you pages. Yeah, you've
you've i think tripled its view count. Yeah, and my my inbox on
YouTube is is something like people have responded to my comment on it from like
twelve years ago. Oh yeah, yeah, it's incredible I've talked about it
before on things. I don't know why that last episode of D and D
was really the one that that blew it up to astronom. I can't believe
Gingham style is twelve years old already. That's yeah, yeah, bringing it
up. Okay, I won't, I won't. I will never talk about
it again. If I do, you have permission to shoot me? Okay,
yeah, can't shoot That's part of a rectile dysfunction. I like.
That's the other thing that people have been commenting, which is yea worse out
of context, out of the context that it's a joke, like an in
joke. People have been responding to me on Twitter in random threads, in
right threads. You think they will just respond to a tweet that I'm in,
I'm in a thread of conversation, and they'll jump in with that,
and I'm like okay, yeah. But after a while it just becomes a
thing of like, okay, you know a rectial dysfunction is It's like,
all right, is there anything I could do to make it up to you?
No? This is why critical role is better than the driving dysfunction.
That's the one reason. Yeah, God, I would love it if Matthew
Mersa opened up on episode just Gang Style has a whole ed arc so and
that it's a masterpiece. Yeah, yeah, that you could have an e
d R. You can flip it, you can turn into a good thing.
Dude. Yeah, listen, I know it sucks, but but he's
not gonna stop. No, I I I will stop talking about the video.
I've already said that he could shoot me if I could if I bring
it up again. Anyway, this last episode on Eastky Dutchess Racers, you
guys had just killed a monkey, Yes, and you're now all wanted by
the rs p c A. That's oh wait, no, it's because the
thing in America. Yeah, sorry, you're right, Peter, I think
it's the American Peter is the American one. Yeah, okay, yeah,
I'll do the joke again. You just killed a monkey and you're not wanted
by Peter. No, No, tour does not understand what Peter is honestly,
but you you the I mean whatever, Yeah, the way Peter treats
the way that Peter treats animals, it's not Yeah, you're right, You're
right. We're not going to get no more. We're not going to get
no more. The reason I said R s p c A is because I
I from what I know, the R s p c A is a reputable
company a group. But right, But that's leading to another tangent. So
okay, we're in the cave. We killed a monkey. You killed a
monkey, and the monkey's essence gets sucked into the necklace of Jesus Christ and
he turns around. He goes, wow, dudes, that was awesome.
We can't God didn't he did he tell us? What? No? That
was before? Y? Yeah, yeah, yeah, before the What did
the monkey God have to say Jesus? Uh, he didn't say. He
just he just started swinging us. Oh yeah, man, they really hate
you guys and me. Now, so people don't usually hate me. I'm
loved by everybody. Everybody loves Jesus. I wait, hey, I worship
the God tour. My brother became a Christian in my time. Your brother
seems like a pretty cool guy. Big fan always, I love fans.
I can auto listen the last the last time a random guy showed up here,
he was super chill and I liked him a lot, And I'm kind
of hoping for you to be similar. You've done a lot of screaming.
Right Tours' time is when a lot of vikings on Norse people were going from
Christianity and some were still worshiping like older gods. So it's a very very
contentious time period to be a Christian in like you know, Norwegian culture.
Anyway, the doors to the cave opened up. That's that's the sound of
doors opening up. It's quite yes, it is. And as you guys
sort of edged towards the door, you do, you see Crunkle crumpled on
the ground after being cronck Crumple sandwiches and cot bored. I got speared.
I will I will cure wounds him for to try and hear whatever whatever damage
he's taken. Great, what about that guy that the novelin that died but
he's he's I'm just like him and carrying him away right now. Yeah,
he's like a more attractive he's handsome, squid worded himself. Oh yeah remember
that now, crazy Joel line. Yeah, he's also terribly traumatized. So
yeah, so he's like in shock. Yeah, I'm just I'm just kind
of like carrying him out. He's staring him at the ceiling. But is
he's staring up at the ceiling. He's like mewing and like smirking. He's
like properly, like I can't do the expression. How do they do it?
This is terrible for our blind listeners. But what blind listeners rustages mugging
everyone else means like, it's when you're when you're next to less attractive people
to make yourself look more attractive. Wow, he looks maxing, that's what
Okay, Yeah he looks maxing. He's he's nobbling, maxing up at the
ceiling. But yeah, you you touch crunkle and he is, oh,
thank you. I appreciate that. Would you like a sandwich? What's in
it? Don't worry, no little mushlings anymore. It's been hard, you
know, I've been having the cravings these No, that's not the issue.
I can eat those guys. I can't eat meat. Oh no, there's
no meat in this. The sandwiches just leaves and bread. Because he doesn't
know what else to eat besides the mushlet. Guys, they haven't really loved
how to cover his diet. Ye Oh, dude, I gotta meat,
son, you gotta eat meat. It makes you strong. We're in Valhalla,
the never ending pig and all that. Listen, Uh, Tour,
I think I know something about being strong. Okay, I hit a little
pause. That is true, That is true. I just have have smog
under one arm while I'm hitting these pauses. I mean, but Cody,
you're hitting these poses, and smog is also looking very like handsome and a
cover of your poses. It's like proper models. Tour is impressed. Jesus
is going to turn to Wilhelm, who is music, but he's going to
put a hand on wilhelm shoulder and say, ah, my disciple, I
think that this is as good as time as any dude to say that you
should get married. What are you talking about? Man? No, that
was recording somewhere else with that, that's no. I'm saying that you've passed
your training. You're official. Listen, you're officially good enough to be almost
on my level. Not quite, but almost. I'm going to call you
Jesus Junior. Another name, all right, Little Jesus, Little Jesus,
Little JA, Little j Jesus the second. The official new name is little
New Jesus, and the new nickname that comes with it, of course,
is little j. So I'm gonna go name of an album, Little J.
Wilhelm, Little J. Willhelm, it's kind of a cool name.
I mean, I just want to see, well, what church can you?
You want to start a church? Yeah, be my guest Jesus.
Yeah, that's great. Let's do it together. Man. I try to
start at church and are we like if people don't join us, we kill
him kind of church for the financial game, like scientology kind of church.
No, it's just just for the for the love of us kind of That
is the thing. Oh, I really do you want to see of Wilhelm
now where it's just him posed up, but he has like five fucking name
badges on. My name is the shark of fucking pit Bull. That's it,
will Helm Shark at one point, will Helm Brenda, whatever the funk
he said his name was before will Helm. That's incredible. I see the
shark. Little J. Gole is pretty hard. I like it. I
think so too, But I don't know what to do uh at this point.
So I'm gonna say thank you. And the marriage proposals just you know,
we'll address that later. It's in the air. We're considering. No,
all right, Well that you that's only had to say. It's fine.
Don't worry about it. Who's this going from? Uh? I just
you've you've endlessly been like proposed to by people and proposed to people, but
it's never been mutual. Here's the thing. What the shark is into.
If you want him, he doesn't want you. But if you're something you
can't have, Oh yeah, fair enough, like a loan. Yeah,
I love that. The sharks like love life. He's he's so quick to
jump into full commitment. Yeah, somebody gives them a little bit of like
hey maybe and he's like, okay, let's go get married immediately. He's
on the nineteen twenties. That's just what happened in the ninety the culture back
then. Yeah, yeah, they get he's not married. Oh my god,
he's got to get mota, get moving right. Like they didn't have
phone numbers, they didn't Facebook, they didn't really have phone numbers, So
you couldn't just go up to someone and say like, hey, what's your
number, Hey, what's your Facebook? Hey what's riskord? You had to
just go hey, where do you live? We could we could start sending
letters to one another. I actually did this weird deep dive into like the
history of like other generations like tender and like obviously you know stuff. Now
is way more common to be online, But there was times where people record
VHS tapes of themself dating, yeah, them out hoping to get a phone
call. Weird ship. People used to say in the newspaper, like I'm
a woman with a farm. If you need to wife and land, come
marry me seven months later and hope that woman was still better. You gotta
get clever, man, You have to get Yeah, that's incredible. Tube
YouTube was originally a dating site. You type in I'm a man looking for
a woman, and you just yeah, really, I I is that true?
That doesn't like back in like two thousand and five that that did exist,
and I was like whole feature. You could look on the way back
machine. There's a little tab at the top of Wow YouTube dating. Wow.
Well, well, okay, are you guys looks at the cave?
Okay, you exit the cave. You exit the cave. You're back in
the forest. Man and you guys heading back to the capital. I feel
like I feel like that. I mean, that's what Jesus says. Yes,
where is Valhalla? Where is Odin's Hall? We need go there?
What are you dealing How are you dealing with this psycho? First, I
think for Hollas, have you guys figured out that it's Anthony's necklace that's the
one that's transforming him, right yeah? Because we we, I mean we
saw it very clearly, saw it very clearly. It's going to be like,
Okay, this is it's gonna I mean, if you guys are fed
up with tour the Valhalla, guys could try and you could just interface with
Cody. Actually, Cody is going to try that because Cody needs Anthony to
be here right now, all right, But you know he's a Viking.
He's not gonna personal space is kind of his I'm not randomly I'm sorry,
you're prom Yeah, you're you're a necklace. You didn't have that when you,
you know, in Viking land, right Broly, he looks like the
start of a rusty rap. My name is Tor the fucking Man. I
come the land of Times and am sorry this is this sounds more like like
Josh right now continue. Yeah, I was like, I don't remember this
exactly. No, I didn't even notice it, to be honest with you.
Yeah, that's like a new thing you get when you come to this
world. But right, No, this isn't that this is the bad place.
You need to No, you can leave. You can leave, you
believe glorious battle. You can go to Valheim. If not Valheim, Valhalla
if you if you use the necklace. Huh wait did I die? Am
I even dead? I don't feel dead? Which is strange? Yeah,
you'll you'll find out when you click the you's got to click the necklace,
and especially to a persuasion check. It probably would would have to persuasion.
Oh sure, okay, it probably wouldn't have to be very high. It
was it him. What's it called? The bad place? Is like the
bad place? Yeah? Yeah, I just love the this nevil hy I
think that's good enough. Yeah, I think it just tour is just gonna
like grab the necklace and just like and just I don't know, fiddle fun
with the thing and just you know cube. Yeah, it was just like,
I don't know what am I? What am I doing here? You
know? Anthony comes back this point, At this point, I have I
have rested smoke back on the ground. I'm not one carrying him. I'm
doing all right, Anthony. This you have been through therapy. Now you
spent the whole day of therapy. If you remember, so this is therapy
Anthony. All right, I knew that was gonna happen. Soon as Anthony
appears, I'm gonna grab him by the or whatever he has, pull him
down in front of Cody. What happened, geez? This apologize to him.
Okay, yeah, sure, you don't have to be so rough with
me. Man, I'm sorry. I had to take some time. I
had to go see my wife. I had some therapy. I'm I knew
I was gonna come back almost right away. I then released and I'm like,
all right, yeah, I brought this guy with us, knowing he
couldn't fight. He died and you ran away. I had to save him.
You brought him back, though, So thank you brought him back.
Thank you, Cody. I apologize to Smog. I've been through therapy at
this point. I know when to admit like quotes. At some point in
the therapy session, I was like, and he was just a fucking defenseless
noblet, and I just left him to fucking die there in the cage,
like okay, well he's paying like this is now. Keep in mind,
this is therapy in the year twenty fifty so I don't know how it's gonna
be at that point. It's it's like, oh, okay, but it
is canonically doctor Gladams, so oh right, right, oh, you're right.
So sorry. Yeah, it's an AI. That's therapy, you know,
that's basically it just committed suicide in the twenty four hours, went on
home. No, we did it. We did a check on that and
I quit succeeded, so I wouldn't have Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're
right, we did. This is Better Help version six point zero or whatever
this is. So you came to the conclusion that because you got transport to
this world against your own free will, you now want to put other creatures
into deadly scenarios against their free will. No. I I realized what I
did was not the right thing to do, and that was cowardly to just
run away, and I won't do that again. That's the conclusion I came.
Sounds like it's pretty terrible. I mean, I feel like it's been
a little bit helpful. I mean, the robot lady told me to off
myself, so I had to, like, you know, think that.
But your therapist told you to off yourself. She's not really a therapist.
She was an AI. That's like not really, you know, she worked
with better help. Look, look, a lot of people, a lot
of people need therapy, and a lot of people need therapy in the year
twenty fifty, there's not enough therapists for everybody. They started outsourcing it to
AI. AI has come a long way since you know, you know,
and in the years since my grandfather's time. So you know, my mother
used to be a therapist. She analyzed every single action I did and the
reasoning behind my actions. And that's why I never wanted to leave my room.
Oh that sounds like that sounds like you need to work through a lot
of stuff. That sounds like you need therapy. Honestly I do, but
it also sounds like therapy and the like in the future sucks like it's your
mother was a fool, says Sir Buston. He's bloodied, right, he
was on like three h Yeah, it comes up to you. He's like,
Norman, You're one of the most extraordinary people I've ever seen, and
I think your parrots should be proud of what you've come to achieve. How
could they even disgrace you like you are implying. Honestly, I could become
the strongest person in this world, achieve all the things, and my mom
would still be like, you're doing that to compensate for the lack of things
you did as a child. Oh my god, that's horrible. That is
absolutely disgraceful. With your permission, I will slay this file being. She
draws his I'm letting. I'm letting them work this out. I mean,
yeah, this is it just watching. I go over to Smog though really
quick and I'm like, Smog, I get down on one knee and I'm
like, wow, you look very you look more attractive. It is like
the again, Smog. I have to tell you, I'm sorry for making
you come here. That was on me. That was my fault. I
tried to justify it by saying that I wasn't, but I definitely did.
Can you forgive me, It's okay if you can't. It all sort of
worked out at the end, I guess. But it was very painful and
there was nothing. It was just blackness, death. It was just nothing.
That's I'm so sorry I put you through that. I'm so sorry.
Maybe it's something I needed to be put through. No, no one deserves
that, And that was my fault. Yeah, I'm so sorry, Anthony.
Can I can I while that, having that moment is all I lean
into Jesus. I'm like Jesus, You're like Christ, right, I'm Jesus.
I'm the one I know nice. Is there no afterlife for these guys,
for the noblins? I have no idea. Man, Man, I
listen, there's big heaven for guys back at Earth. But this is a
whole different plane of existence. Right, What if we die here then?
I don't know it. Not Jesus Christ, It's just like Jesus from down
the street. Don't change your background to Aaron Rogers nine to eleven breaks?
Did you make this now? I was in the chat. I don't know
the chat quick. I was looking in the background and I was like,
Shop, this is a cooperative attack. You had to shop the plane and
the Jets logo with the plane wings. You did all that, admitt that
was pretty good. I mean, done that. You shouldn't have done that
though, seriously, but you've combo moved my brain. I'm hey, hey,
we've we've I made it. I kept it private. Briggs brought it
to the public. That way, there's no one person responsible. I didn't
make it just Rogers. I'm so sorry. I felt like the editing effort
couldn't go unknown to the public. I'm so blind, Viewers, you're eating
actually stay blind, stay blind. You're winning this time. Your congratulations anyway,
Norman, what were you saying to to Button before Teching did his side
thing and then Cody did his side thing on teching side thing. Honestly,
I'd be happy to never talk to that woman again, But no, I
I don't. I don't plan on kill in your case. She's in another
world now, she's in another world. I see. Well, if anyone
tries to disuspect you like that again, Norman, who tell me? And
I will fight for you. Thank you for changing your background. You changed
it to mushroom. It's good, all right, you're a good man.
That'll get me in trouble. And then Briggs just comes in here like le
stream. I'm gonna get sued for defamation. I want to say, legally,
we don't think that Aaron Rodgers did the terrorist attacks of nine to eleven.
You know this is all fiction. Norman and the Shark think that Briggs.
The Shark doesn't know what nine eleven is. I can tell you at
eleven times. I have to say Briggs catches me up on pop culture.
Any I have I have been. Nine to eleven was not pot culture.
Something went pop, Okay, let's move on. It was just a trend.
Back in secondary school, we had to for our final drama GCC performances.
We all had to do like these plays and this group had to do
one about nine eleven, Where to god if this is going? Where I
think it's going. This group had to do one about nine to eleven,
and they all had these really dramatic things about being victims at nine to eleven,
which is crazy to give to a bunch of fifteen year olds, but
but they in England, in England, so it's like, you know,
you know the groups of the mixed quality of actors. One of the kids
was terrible and I couldn't He's pretending he's about to die in nine eleven.
He stands there and he goes, He's got his thick French accent and he
just goes. I won't be able to what's the American football game tomorrow?
If we would have done that in high school here, that would have been
on the news, like people are making fun of this national tragedy that would
have been like what, Oh gosh, I think my favorite d It's certainly
the most controversial out of all of them. I'll tell you that. This
is the episode that gets Matthew Mosa to unfollow me on Twitter. All right,
if anybody ever dares to say anything spiteful against you, Norman, I
will strike them down. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. If you
ever run to Aaron Rodgers, make sure you take him out. Who is
that? Who is this Aaron Rodgers? He did a very bad thing.
He did a very very bad thing. Well, I will kill him as
soon as I see him. Someone's just knocking my parmonitory. Everyone chill the
fuck out right, put the lights off. But the lights we're not over
speakers, right, No, I think he's says the FBI. Okay,
okay, I see. I thought he meant like he had someone over and
he just hears off over this. Now there's somebody here. It might be
the FBI. I'm just gonna shut my office, like Kayla, deal with
it. I'm to work right now. His work. I mean, yeah,
I guess technically yeah, whatever. Uh you guys, what are you
doing? Wait? Where are what are we doing. You're in the forest
just kill. I've apologized to Smug, So I mean, are you guys
going to in the We'll we'll take we'll take everyone back to We'll take We'll
take Smug and Crunkle back to Nobopolis and we'll rest there and then in the
morning we'll will journey. As Krunkle comes back, everyone's like the king is
back, the king, and they will cheer because they, you know,
they were worried about him ever since that the Great fool, as they tend
to call it, You haven't yesterday? When did they call the When did
they call the Great War the Great War? Was it day one? I
would imagine it be like day two and updates? Great War? Yeah,
this's great. Actually you thought it was just a mediocre war? Nah?
No, No, no amazing war. Yeah. Yeah, seven out of
too much water. It normal. I just want to say, right now,
the entity that I am in control of for this is going to ask
a question, and that question is going to be reasonable. Okay, Does
this mean the person who was teaching me is no longer in the party and
they've left? It sounded like that from what you're saying, Jesus is here.
Yeah, oh, I see there's people around your house, and you
don't want to out loud say Jesus is Jesus gone? Okay, Jesus is
still He's still hanging. You guys have all gone back to Noobopolis together,
and you're all gonna sleep and rest in Nobopolis. They're creating tapestries of King
Kronkle's great fall, and he's just got me to level two and then he's
like, I'm done with you. What Yeah, yeah, well you've learnt
now. Now you proficiently know enough about being a monk that you could level
up monk yourself by your own. At certain point, you got to you
got to carry on your own journey, you know what I mean. Can't
hold your hand. Yeah, he's got He's got you the first way I
got good enough to get better on my own. Yes, exactly. Yeah,
you're fine. He taught you how to write. You have to learn
how to create novels. You are as the snowball falling down the mountain to
become a mighty avalanche. Yeah. I get all that, but it does
feel like because he's still going to hang around. He's just like, you
got it a bit until you guys go back to the capitol, and he
might also just be lazy. Who knows. Yeah, I mean he's he's
he immediately clunks out the moment you're back to the town. He doesn't even
he just sleeps on the ground somewhere. He's like called off into a little
ball. No, he always sleeps in a tea pose, just to remember,
just just just to be humble. Trying to suppress his laughter. Yeah,
I mean we we I don't think we have anything else to do in
this area. So we'll we'll get our arrest in and then we need to
then we need to have a conversation with sir button. What Smug is going
home? He turns around to everyone and goes go home. Thank you for
the experiences. I need to do a lot of thinking and a lot of
reevaluating my priorities in life. Live your life to the fullest, Smug.
I think I have to because it can end at any instant. Yeah,
Smug, I'm sorry. Thank you. I literally owe you my life.
If you need anything, Cody, you just say the word. You've given
me everything I think that I could ask for. I'm going to go learn
how to destroy two cards in the card pool when I am drafted. Goodbye.
Sorry, s slot story will continue the card game. That is,
yeah, that is that is what dude? Maybe we could wait? Are
you doing a thing like Dane Goodman canonically made the card game? So in
this universe that small canonically is the one that went off and fulfilled his life
by creating it would probably be ripper canonically if it was any Yeah, right,
he loses the otherworldly brewery. What am I going to do? Now?
Okay? Right, so you guys arested morning. It is now the
morning. The morning dawns, you guys all getting ready to return to the
cap at all and breaks Norman. You turn to Sir Button and he's standing
there. He's already, he's all packed, he's got his sword in hand.
I'm so excited to be part of this journey to learn. Yes,
I meant yeah, I mean you you survived. You definitely helped us.
But the only thing I'm concerned about is we have more gods to face and
potentially way more dangerous battles. I could face any danger. That's all the
more reason I should be here. I would get stronger, and I'll make
sure that you come to no harm. Norman I'm also worried. I feel
like you're a different type of magic user than me. I don't know if
I could actually teach you anything. I can I can learn, I'll practice.
You'll see. I really do like you, sir Button. I'm gonna
go. I'll talk to the I'll talk to the group and see what they
say, because this is a crazy dangerous adventure we're on. You really do
like me. You seem like a good guy. You see a good guy
as good as you know. I'm You're a great guy. That's what I've
got to say about you. Thank you, I guess, thank you.
But what about like the town. You don't need to protect people here or
to particularly Sacramento. No, there's no war here in the forest anymore.
I think Sacramento will be safe under the protection of the barons and the king.
All Right, I'm gonna go and talk to the guys and i'll come
back. Okay, you go talk to those guys. I'll sit here and
just sort of watch at a distance. Cody, Cody, Hey, Hey,
buddy, sybody really wants to come. I don't know how to break
it to him. Do you guys want him to come? Well, I
don't mind. I'm pretty fine. I don't want to be I don't want
to happen again. You know, he seems useful, he seems strong.
You know, he seems like a cool dude. I just don't want the
small situation to happen. Yeah, I like, basically on the verge of
death at the end of the key fight. Yeah, I mean out of
out of out of character DM question, hello, would would a character likes
her about and actually get stronger and level up as the player characters do?
Probably a little, I think all of them do. I mean Little Feather
did, and any characters suspec suspensial, suspenseful, substantial, sub substantial,
substantial time with you, guys will get strong what the word was? Anyone
who spends substantial time with you will progress and get stronger as they do.
So. Yes, yeah, I think I think he's a strong ally and
I think we we need more friends going forward. I don't think he's anything
like smart. You know, this guy's a warrior. I agree. I
think he's ready to fight regardless of the consequences. I'm just I wanted to
make sure you guys are on the same page, and you seem like you're
cool with it is will Helm here, Yeah, it's Wilhelm working up.
Yes, sorry, there's this conversation when there, So I'm getting myself muted
to you. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay. How do you feel
about their button? My man? How can I say this? I like
the idea of keeping things lean and clean? What does that mean? What
codey knows what that means? So I don't think Norman would be able to
follow. Could I do a like an insight? Is that me what I
would roll? I don't follow what does lean and clean mean? He wants
to keep the group lean and clean? No excel extra, no extra,
Yeah, yeah, but Norman wouldn't pick up on that verbiage. Guys,
moron, I'm just a moron. I thought that was pretty clear. I'm
not gonna lie. Yeah, I'm just idiot. I'm just so dubby coded.
I don't think you. I don't know. I don't know how obvious
it is, but I don't know if ten is good enough perfectly average insight.
I'll be like, do you mind elaborating what you mean by that?
I'm not I'm not sure of the terminology I want. We're in the later
stages of our adventure, and I think it would be aprop po. I
don't want anyone else in our fucking group. Okay, he was your conflicts
opinions right now, Sark. You got to communicate, all right, that's
the whole point of this. You know you've got two pros and one nos.
Well you've kind of got one pro, one no, and then one
maybe. Yeah, Anthony's kind of been like, you know, do whatever.
Oh, I don't know. I said, I'm okay with him as
long as he can fight and he's here of his own free will and that's
fine. Then yeah, I'm not getting Brewer vibes. I'm not getting Brewer
vibed either. But we we could like help him out and like he could
help us out for like another fighter too type of thing. Here's what I'm
thinking, guys, okay, is that once we unlocked this fountain, once
it really comes to a head with these gods, what if we have to
fight all of them at once? Mm, we need to have numbers on
our side, you know, like we all could he could work for like
the other worldly brewery in like the meantime or like help and guard there if
we don't want to bring him on every quest. But I think you know
he helped us with tea for sure, construct an army. A lot of
people are going to die if we have to fight, if all twelve of
these gods come out at once, Yeah, I'm fine. They might fuse
into a super god so much. That sounds so much A lot of anim
That's my guess. We don't know what's going to happen. Okay, I
just want to be prepared for any eventuality. Okay, I vote yes,
then two yes is one no? All right, I guess I'm not going
to fight anyone on it. Yeah, I mean, I mean, at
the end of the day, he's not he's not a Brewer. We're not
a He's not a brewer. Not a brewer. I'll settle with that.
That's fine, all right. I walk up the sir button button. Looks
like you're Jordan us for the time being. Wow, they are unanimous?
Yes, I assume, Oh yeah, yeah, we'll have especially likes you
a lot O. How presumptuous? Are unanimous? Yes? Of course I'll
go and say my thanks to the group. Hey, group, all right,
say my thanks, thank you? Oh yeah, no problem, dude,
Yeah, of course I would let you do the in combat or in
any other means, and if I pledge my sword to the group in general,
but mostly Norman. Okay, okay, that's fair. It sounds good
to me. If things are getting rough, though, and you want to
leave, you could do that, okay, for our blind listeners, you
can. You could describe Daniel Green that the shark does that. I I
warmly hugged him into the group. Yep, he crossed the finger across his
neck in a threatening styles no rustage. I don't like blind people. Getting
the full storm. The door opens and Kayla comes into the first thing she
is and I don't like blind people. It's crazy well familiar. Oh my,
Discord, Oh cut out there for a second. Sorry, Yeah,
Discord's back. And literally the last thing I heard from Daniel Green was I
don't like blind pele. Okay, we're back. I mean I'll cut that.
I'll cut that. Okay, what the fuck? Okay, you guys
are now partied up and you're heading back to the capitol. All right,
how long is this gonna take? I don't like like a good like five
six days. As you guys, you know, you leave the forest where
Knobopolis and Sacramento are and you're venturing down the grassy plains, you know,
passing by lakes and mountains and trees. Are any of you actively looking around
at your areas as you're traveling? Has anyone actively yeah? Could? He
could? He is, like you know, he has a lot of experience
with the outdoors, traveling long distances, hiking, doing things on foot.
So he just is always scattery. Give me, give me that flat perception,
check Cody. Uh, my perception isn't great though, but no,
it's it's it's it's it's good. But I don't have professions survival maybe no,
I mean my survival is excellent. But that's for like tracking, yeah
yeah, yeah, this is specifically for just like keeping a lookout. Yeah,
hit me with that perception. That's amazing. You notice movement in the
foliage around you as you as you get to a clearing where there's a sort
of a mountain, that cliff hill sort of a small on one side,
has a little lake to your right, those women in the foliage like immediately
around. Yeah, yeah you can. You could see. And actually a
guy jumps out in front of you, but he does not take you by
surprise. Okay, as he would have done if you've got a terrible perception.
The man jumps he's in a he's in a hooded cloak. Yeah,
and you immediately spot him, so you could say anything you want to incur
that you immediately spot him. Yeah. I'm just I'm gonna have like a
really casual greeting, like a clock that he's like rustling in the bushes.
But I want, like, you know, there's there's no change in my
stride. And as he jumps out, like hey, oh hey buddy,
oh hello, it's quite awkward. I was I was going to, you
know, like take you by surprise, but seems like my disguise as are
what they used to be. He takes off the hood and sort of throws
his cloak away and you can sort of see his body. He looks like
a chiseled statue. Like literally, he looks like the statue of David is
made out of marble, but it has little cracks in it. You can
see little glows underneath the cracks. And in his hand he's holding a chisel
and a hammer, and he looks towards you can we can we help you?
Is this really the group? I don't? He like scans we are
we are, we are him yeah. I mean, if you're looking for
a group, it's probably I mean, yeah, that's true. I can't
imagine are wondering around? Are the one? We kind of we're kind of
the ship right now, so we don't take offense to what I'm about to
say. But you don't look strong. I'm gonna kill him. I mean
hair, you should has said that. Man, all, I am surprised
that both Gumpy and X felled to the likes of you. But who were
that Dumpy? Oh you knew that guy. He was my friend. He
was an ass. You're an ass. He pulls chisel. Two things can
be true at once. That's true. That's true. I learned that in
therapy. Hey, guys, who's Gumpy? I can't remember. I cannot
remember. You know when you're so strong all the people that you've slain for
hundreds of years, our organization have been has had a perfect record with every
single target we've been sent to kill until you guys. Oh you're one of
those guys. Oh wait a minute, this might have been something you you
dealt with my grandfather. Now I'm I'm not. I'm not. I wasn't
part of Well you can step aside, then, all right, cool injuries,
and don't remember mostly I walked seven feet to the left. You're one
of the finger guys, right, you're here fingers. Well, I'm listen.
I thought I thought we were finished with you. Guys. Who's even
paying you anymore? We're not being paid for this particular job. Well,
you're just doing it for fun? Can you can you just like say that
Snow paid you so we have another reason to go take it? Still pay
you? Can you say that I care not for that woman? She did
ask me to do this, But all right, guys, we still paid
this guy. We're gonna have to kill Snow? Are we fighting the chiseled
statue guy? Then? Wait? Wait, wait, wait wait, I
have a better way out of this. I have a way out of this
now. All right, all right, what's yeah? What's up? Hey,
chiseled marble guy. We have infinite money. Why don't we just give
you like a million dollars? And you funk off? I'm not doing this
for money. I'm doing this, but you could not do it for a
certain amount of money. He that killed two fingers, and what is a
hand without all five fingers? I do respect the idea that human life more
than any amount of money. I do. I do respect that. Listen,
do you really want to operate a hand with no fingers? Oh that
was a threat. That was a threat. Yes, maybe you took on
gumpy hedix and somehow beat them, but you were just fighting them all on
versus one. And then out of the another bush comes this man with like
a gas masks and a hood up. He's got a multi colored little jumper
on. He's got two sprayed hands in his hand. Oh my god.
And from the on top of the mountaintop there's this lady who's like wearing paper
on her body and she's she's almost like a ninja. What did you guys
do to all these people? Jesus three? Sorry? What do you say?
Can I please roll persuasion? What are you trying to persuade? If
any one of you is willing to portray and fight on our side, I
will pay you ten million dollars you have firstly, if disadvantage. Secondly,
I don't even know if this is doable, but go ahead and try.
I'm not going to take it from trying. I could ask mister Wellington.
I'd rather not, you know, fight them. You know, yeah,
they're not they're not doing this for a financial gain. Obviously, they're doing
this because you guys killed two members of their organization and the reputation to uphold.
I know it's crazy, but they value human life more than money,
and and you know, we think of it this way. Maybe one of
them is just not as into it as the rest. Maybe they're seeing them
in their group and they're waiting for an out. I'm just trying to find
that one. Let's see, Yeah, I mean, I get you.
Let's see if there's any weak links. Yeah, okay, eighteen doesn't work
on any of them unfortunately. Okay, I mean, I'm glad to tell
you, Shark, there's probably at least one of them here that's heart is
not completely into it. But I'm trying to go for I know, but
we just don't know which one it is. Yeah, So how far away
is the one that's on the hill, the one the one that's on the
hill is on a hill behind you, guys. The one that's on a
hill is on the hill. He's about forty fifty feet behind you, guys.
And then up probably have another like twenty thirty feet right, this stone
guy's about twenty feet aware they're both within moving distance of you, guys,
the two on the ground approaching you, and he says, he says to
you, very stonely, do you have any law words before we do this?
Please? Do you have any last words? Well, back in the
old days, it was traditioned to introduce ourselves before we attacked our targets.
I am Mason, leader of the God's Fingers. And then in the quarter
you hear that the guy goes even, he's he's excitable. And then on
the mountain, you you, you, you hear. You don't really hear
anything, just just Michael Sarah's voice in and today a K A the pit
Bull, a k A Wilhelm, a k A pit Bull, shark ball
a k A sometimes just the loan shark ak. Guys, I'm stalling,
a k A little shark, little Jay, a k A Jesus cycle Schwavity
or sorry, Cody your turn. Oh I'm Cody Laurn. I don't have
any other names. Sorry, the rest of you. Just to be clear,
I'm not a target, right, I can leave, Yeah, you
can leave, just okay. I start walking. I start walking away.
No no, no, not really, I start walking away exactly about exactly
one hundred feet away from this battle. All right, my name for no
reason, I specify that. Okay, all right, well he just walked
away. My name is Norman. You call me Norman, Little normany great
wizard, strongest wizard. Would you like to start fighting now him? Hey?
No, I'm Jesus Christ, the One Son of God, Holy Spirit.
All that you know by that was me. Uh fifty thousand fish,
that was me. You might know my work walking on water. I start
in a camel through the eye of the needle, like you know, blinding
cure people, I mean fly people. Just check my IMDb. I've done
a whole bunch, do I button, and I fight for Sacramento, the
entire forest, and for my legs. Lord Norman the great Wizard. Wait
the leads, Lord Wait, wait wait, I don't want to drag you
into this old rivalry. Button Okay, this is this is old blood.
It doesn't involve you. You can sit this one out, you too,
Jesus, Oh I can. I'm happy for this will be a three v
three. Okay, I'll chill man, you know, I whispered to Jesus.
Unless we really look like we're struggling, I could chill man. I
could chill. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I helped kill
one of the you know, the the the what the fuck? What's it?
The what's the fabricy girl? Where I was? Yeah, I think
so. No, it wasn't. I look, I look at Madison.
Was Jesus there for that? Mm hmm? Was Jesus there for that?
Washington was definitely there. Jesus wasn't there. No, but my president was,
and I work underneath him. So I mean I'm a stand in for
George. You know what they say. Jesus is and I fight alongside Norman
to life and to death, to death? Do us part? Oh?
Oh? Before we fight? Do want to hear about my son? I
got a kid. He's not here, but he had a daughter, I
thought, so real life Wilhelm has a daughter, right, but not No,
No, I would not drag her into this. Yeah. Right,
you could tell us about my fucking zip code? No, yea, give
us all the information, says Mason Numbers. Yeah, what about your son
before we kill you? Oh? We discarded again? You cut out there
for something? What about your son before we kill you? Are you just
a cute as a button? I'm not that button but you know, no,
I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, if we must fight,
then we must fight. Can we spread out? I feel like a
little crowd. Is there a map? Yeah, yeah, there is a
I was gonna say a map would be very helpful right now considering everything.
Okay, now, oh, this is a good map too, because I
walked way. Misson is big, if this map is to be believed,
Yeah, Mason is big. He's a big statue. He was like a
man size statue. No, no, no, he's a statue size statue,
like ten to twelve feet tall. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you
know, like decides that statues are when you go to the museum. He's
that big. There were small status there were human sized statues. Yeah,
but he's one of the biggest. I feel like more statues a human size
than a museum. They're slightly bigger than human size. Okay, give me
a good slightly bigger or is he very big? He's he's he's big.
He's large. He's not huge, he's large. He's shack sized. Oh
no, he's large. He's probably like Sequie o'neils still be a medium humanoid.
Ah, what do he I think he? Wait? He's not seven
foot, is he? He's just yeah, he's like seven foot something.
Oh is he? I thought he was like six eleven? Am I stupid?
No? Yeah, you're right, he would be seven foot shat,
yeah he's six foot thirteen. He's seven foot one. Oh. I think
large creatures are just above seven foot, so he probably would be. Yeah
yeah right, someone who prepped me on that. All right, all right,
uh small, we do some stretches. I am letting him know.
As as Anthony is walking away from the battle, and completely undeterred by that,
I am casting fly on myself as I walk away. All right,
oh he he Okay, you wait, sorry, I'm just what I'm walking.
Everyone was talking. Well, everyone's talking and I'm walking away. I
said, hey, I'm not part of this. They're talking. I'm just
gonna leave, and they apparently bought that, and I'm just like yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I have my armor on. Is
what it is. It's why I'm stalling for time, trying to give you
enough to one hundred feet, which takes how many seconds to go that far?
I mean thirty feet every like modicum of a six second mount, so
it probably doesn't take very long. But that you're running. Yeah, you're
running a if you're walking, But I'm not one hundred feet It's fine,
it's it's it's okay. You could be one hundred feet you've got that.
I'm not saying you didn't. Okay you are you a one hundred feet away?
Fuck? Let's let's let's roll a dition should have? The battle begins
with grapha. He screeches. He pulls out his spray cans. Let's go.
Yeah, I'll fucking kill you. Which one of you took down X?
We had something going? Man, we genuinely can't even remember. Yeah,
disgusting. I thought insignificant. These fingers are your fingers are? Uh?
He leaps over with impossible speed and okay he's going to spray a can
into Wilhelm's eyes. What there's a thirteen? Does hit Willhelm? Because it's
is he levered? You take forty damage? I need you to do a
consave for me. Hold up, don't I have my monk dodge thing now?
Or is that not? You have to you use your bonus action to
do the dodge yet so you don't have that moment And you said it's the
constitution save can you do a constitution save for me. Yes, I can
he pulls out of spray? Can he sprays this like acid into your face?
You fail, Willhelm, You are blinded, so you cannot see.
Shout out all our blind listeners. Now you can. Now you're one of
them this whole time. Oh and then he's gonna put and he's gonna spray
Jesus. Gosh, oh Jesus, and Jesus now has to do a cod
save. He has a gas mask, but it doesn't cover his eyes though.
If he's wearing a mask, right, yeah, it's not covering his
eyes. It's it's spraying into the eyes. It's not like poison. It's
just like acid into the eyes. Yeah, pepper spray. I got pepper
spray. You got you've got graffitis? Oh yeah, you you both fail.
So both Jesus and Willhelm immediately are blinded. You just got spray paint
in the eyes. So make sure you take the fourteen damage as well.
Norman is up all right. You just realize how disability is last time.
So Norman is gonna be like, all right, let's isolate this fight and
I just create a wall circle of fire around the far what's the range on
this action in the open check one hundred and twenty feet? Yeah, where
are you doing it? I want to do it on the guy that's really
far what's his name? Are you talk about? Ori? On the mountain?
Ari? Yes, I had the zoom in to even see his nah
yeah yeah, yeah, he's pretty far away or on the mountain. Just
like I lift two fingers up and a circle of fire goes around him.
Yeah, okay, so you do that. Ori does have this ability that
she can use her reaction when any sort of flames are near her. She
can turn her body starts to shift into this sort of like almost like paper
like hot air balloon, and she she starts floating upwards and sort of lands
somewhere else by a rock somewhere like she's down from the mountain though. You
got her off the mountain, but she's now used her reaction, is able
to do that? Hi, So she just avoided it altogether. Essentially,
the flames pushed the whatever you know how hot air balloons work, flew above
it. She flew above it. Would she would she still take the damage
from that? For this? I think she initially take that damage. She
would take the initial damage. Yes, so I haven't take that. She's
got to do what saving? Throw dexterity all right, so she would do
that deck save and float down. But that is her reaction to do that.
Oh she's good at deck saves. That's like her thing. But is
she good at it right here, right now? Yes? Nineteen? So
she takes half the damage? What is it? Five to ten? All
right? Give me that five D eight? So you do. She does
get hit, she takes ten damage. She does get hit by the flames,
but she folds herself into a paper hot air balloon and then lands down
on the ground. Out. She's closer to Anthony now than than other people.
Played. Well played. That helped me out, actually, so thank
you. Yeah, she says something, but you can't really hear her.
Fit but too far away and normally doing anything else. I will back up
to the tree. Okay, you got to back up towards a tree,
and you just buy a tree now, Willhelm, you're up. You are
blinded for a decent while now, so everything you've got to do will be
with disadvantage. Good luck. What are you gonna do? Willhelm? All
right? So it's just a sprayed in yes, so I can't see what's
in front of me. Is that means swinging at something's gonna be pretty much
ridiculous advantage. You would have disadvantage. You know, he's roughly in front
of you. Yeah, but I'm not I think it could. It could
be like that Star Wars scene though, where he's like relying on the fall,
So you're relying on your monkabilit easier close and you just stop. It's
slightly differ disadvantage or anything that relies on site, so use some other sixth
sense and you'll be a Yeah, I'm gonna try and tackle him because that
I feel like it's a disadvantage because he just ran up to me and sprayed
so I can. Ye, I'm gonna try and do that because that still
dismasures that normal because I probably still a disadvantage, right, Yeah, I
mean it would be like a physical attack. Yeah, it would be what
like a like a strength contest grapple, But you have disadvantage. That's advantage.
Actually, before I decided this, how much smaller to me? Does
he look? Sorry you can't see him. Sorry? The giant or mini
me know this? This this guy is he's like five ft seven taller than
I. For a strength contest. Okay, day, he's not that.
Try and tackle him taller than me. That's still pretty tall. Yeah,
okay, no, it's not tacking shoe. Yeah, okay, do a
disadvantage athetics. He'll do a regular athletics. Oh my god, you succeed
sixteen. Oh my god. So you get blinded and then you immediately pounce
on him and he's now grappled to the ground. So Daniel Green, and
I still use my extra attack. Yeah, you you still have one more
attack because this only used one of your attack actions. So you can still
make an attack against this and it will be a normal attack because he is
grappled. So it's a mixture of disadvantage and advantage. So go ahead and
use your improvised weapon. Describe to me how you're how you're doing this perfect.
So I'm going to go ahead and just tackle on to the ground,
and I'm gonna try and bring my baseball back. This kind of imagine it's
like kind of up against us, just up into his jaw. Okay,
you don't have your baseball bat anymore. I do want to stress this.
You gave all your weapons to ju Lag, so your improvised weapons just using
what's a I owned you to attack him, so you could pick you could
hit him with a branch, like there are things. That's what you're good
acts. That's what you've got, the feats. And I grabbed my own
fist and hit him with my own sure, yeah, fuck it. So
this isn't a punch attack. It's an improvised weapon where you use your arm
as a weapon with your other arm, So hit that improvise regular attack.
I love that. I love that. That's fucking beautiful. Yep, yeah,
twenty four hits. So do the damage. It's like the perfect beautiful
combination of a monk in flighter. Because you've hit him, now you can
make attacks with your bonus action if you want to. You can either you
have a choice here. You can either just make another attack because you can
you're using a light weapon, or because you are now a monk level two,
you could spend a key point to do florial blows and make two attacks
with your monk weapon, which is just you're on arm stronger. So when
you blows, yeah, so give me two fists, fist me twice.
Oh my yeah, okay, all right, that should be there. It's
monk fist eleven doesn't hit. Unfortunately, do the other one? Twenty three
does hit, So you hit with another fist, slam it down into his
fucking face, dealing that seven damage. You just start pommeling at him on
the ground, eyes burning. I do want to stress your eyes are burning.
My action surge now you can, Oh my god, yeah, let's
do my action surge. Okay, So that means you have two more improvised
weapon attacks. If you were to go ahead and do that, nineteen and
twenty three hits surge him to do. You're rolling terribly on these dice.
But yeah, nineteen, I'm rolling disadvantaged every time. That's okay, should
still be disadvantaged your your normal attacks. It's okay. I've just been taking
the first number anyway, So you stop fucking Are you still hitting him with
your own arm as the weapon, because that's what you're doing. You're pummeling
into him with your own arm as the weapon. And now again you have
Oh no, you don't have another bon section. It's just doubles your action.
So that's what you've done. No, no, no, no,
because that's when your bonus action actually essentially gives you extra Do you have tavern
brawler, Yes, I do. I thought he was gonna say something else,
so when he went was oh that does that does an extra damage?
Then do you with I was considering that or disarming attack, and it was
between that and something else. I ended up choosing it. Oh, okay,
mind, I don't know, I'm I I am. He might do
it feels like he should, but I don't think so. Yes, you
do have tavern Brawler. Oh nice? What does TN brala do? Oh
no, somebody in the chat says it does extra damage. Uh, that's
G three. I never took tavern Brawler and BEG three. I don't even
know what it does in BG. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's
that's orders gate three. Yeah, it doesn't directra damage. It's fine,
Okay, it's fine. Tavern Brawler is what's giving your improvised weapons proficiency,
which is why that's what you use. Gotcha, Okay, all right,
great, gosh, all of that rules talk talk out the way you've You've
just punched this guy a whole bunch and he's very mad. But it is
now ORI's turn. The paper lady on the other side of the map.
She folds a small piece of paper together into a little bird, and she
lets it fly, and she's gonna let it fly towards Wilhelm because Wilhelm is
the immediately the first threat. So Wilhelm, there's this small little paper bird
that is flying towards you, flapping in the air until it eventually hits you
or doesn't. Oh, it doesn't have the plus modifier on it, so
it would be a plus. It would be a it would be that plus
the modifier, so plus six on that for seven of that. Sorry,
So sixteen does a sixteen hit? Yes, because everything hits will Helm.
He's just wearing regular clothes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's fine
for a monk. Could you add your constitution and wisdom but he doesn't.
No, not your cause your dexterity and wisdom. But he doesn't have any
dexterity or wisdom. So technically he shouldn't even be allowed to multi class,
but we've just allowed it anyway just because for fun. Yeah, so you
were hit with this bird immediately and that does damage. He takes seventeen damage
will Helm. But then as it hits you, it explodes you and Jesus
have to do dexterity saving throws. So does the guy beneath me. Yeah,
so does the guy I believe you. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
no, well he's gonna just he has this advantage on this fifteen that fails.
Nah fifty, you were so confident. Yeah, I think Jesus is
pretty good at these, right, Well, he usually is. Yeah,
he's proficient. Not now though, not now though. So you guys are
going to take an extra I think it's just forty six damage of explosion,
just fifteen extra damage you take, and same with Jesus. He takes fifteen
damage, and so does the guy on the ground, also takes fifteen damage.
So that explosion goes off. But be careful because there's another one coming.
Oh no, another bird flies through the air, and let's see if
that's what hits you again. Oh same target, okay, same time.
Well, yeah you have advantaged or no no, no, no, no,
no this about or anything. Oh again, I haven't added her fucking
things. It's eight plus seven, so fifteen definitely hits. Fifteen hits.
So another explosion of paper eighteen initial damage and then you also fail the saving
throw, so you also take another thirteen damage on top of ah jeez,
so that would be twenty one damage or thirty one thirty one damage. Willhelm
as you get fucking paper bombed sixty two okay, Jesus succeeds takes half damage
and the guy on the ground also takes thirteen damage. So sorry, is
as a fighter, don't you have proficiency and the start your saving throws?
Do you? Yeah? Do you? No? I thought fighters was is
it? Constitution is strength? Think? I think it's constitutions strength. It
is not again in the mind, in the mind, so just confused.
Girls looking at it says we're oh, you're not even doing a saving story.
You just gonna takes stary. Oh yeah, sorry, you're not even
regardless as long as as long as the modifier is not different. I'm just
wait, but you're right, he did do the fifteen on the first one.
Yeah. Yeah, you don't get he doesn't he doesn't have a proficiency
constitution strength, it would still be a zero god okay, right, yeah,
you're still checking, just checking. Oh man, just check a lot
of health. So I I just take damage and then I keep going,
Yeah that's your thing. Yeah, yeah, it's Mason's turn. Oh boy,
all right, Mason, I see I see and him like you know,
like those like wrestler pauses where getting ready to catch them. Who's like
running towards them, like mom, big guy, Yeah, okay. He
walks up towards you. He's got he's like, he's perfectly carved body.
He's like, you know, he's he's a little yeah, yeah, sorry,
I don't know. I got us. He's a Greek. I meant
to say, like Greek god like, and I used to like, yeah,
goddish god, like, yeah, he got st That's what I was
trying to say. He walks towards you, his tiny penis in in on
display kind of no. No, it's rock solid. Yeah, okay,
rock It's flaccid, but it's rock solid. Yeah. So he's hard.
He's flattered and hard at the same time. That's hard. He grabs you,
Cody, Okay, I need you to do a con save. This
is just something that he's he's placing his hand upon you, and he's he's
not like, no, it's not a grapple or anything. He's placing it
on your arm. Save Christ. Your arm turns into stone. Oh fuck,
that's good. He then that out a hammer. Whoops, I didn't
mean to click that again. He then pulls out a hammer and a chisel,
and he places the chisel on your arm and he pulls back the hammer
and we'll see if this hits. And this is gonna have dire consequences.
He's amouined to take my fucking arm off. Dude, please not dire's twenty
eight damage. And as the hammer comes down, it shatters your arm.
Oh so like like off, like into pieces. I thought he was gonna
make it into a like a like a like a funny little shape or something.
I don't even get a shattered old thing. He shattered your arm into
piece left left arm or right arm. This is your left arm. This
is probably the most devastating attack that Cody is actually taken his human form.
Listen. The other two guys are just members. This guy is the leader
of his fingers. He shatters your arm. You look down, you've got
her arm there. It's okay. We could get uh and it looks and
he says, next time it won't be your arms his peenus. Okay,
it's sir, Button's turn. Norman, you've run over to a tree.
Should I follow you? What shall I do? No? Attack them with
your magic sword? Which was this? Whoever you are, it doesn't matter
you choose stop a coin. Well, Cody gave him an order, but
he's not following Cody's order. I guess he's was to attack the paper person.
But I'm going to roll A one D three. So one is or
A two is Grapher, three is Mason. He's going to attack Grapher on
the ground. That makes sense us. He's gonna have advantage on his on
his attacks as well, which is amazing good for him. So he comes
over with his lightning blade advantage and he's going to strike down one two or
not. One of them does hit. One of the misses, but he
strikes down for eleven damage, the thunder cracking as it lands into into Grapher.
He's really just getting fucked up on the ground right now, Cody,
it is your turn, all right. Cody is is reeling in pan as
he looks down at like it's just like stump. I guess, like where
because there are stump bits just like stone and rock and stuff. Yeah yeah,
yeah. But he takes his other hand. I don't know if this
will work, but I'm going to put my hand on him and I'm going
to cast stone ship. All right. Oh okay, you know a good
portion of his body is made of stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, I do want to I do want to state from his
design that he hears lots of fragments of stone and underneath the like with the
cracks in them, and underneath you can see the sort of almost magical energy.
Underneath there's a which section of his body are you touching? That I
can manipulate up to five feet of stone, So I kind of I kind
of just want to get rid of his arm. Okay, oh, the
arm that's holding the chisel. I don't know if if the stone falls away,
maybe like his magical energy will still hold it. I don't know,
but I'm going to try and destroy his arm to complete that game. Okay,
okay, yeah, okay, you can change its size, but can
you destroy it? Basically, what I'm what I'm going to do is just
take all the stone that makes up his arm and just fuse it into like
his chest or something like, just to make a really awkward shape out of
like like his torso, so he's kind of like unbalanced. Oh, I'll
let you do that. I'll let you do that, destroy the stone basically,
he will be Yeah, I'll let you do that. So oh,
yeah, you're fine. Yeah, he can reform his body obviously, but
like this is a great way to take it out sort of, even if
it's temporarily. So you do that, you sort of reform his stone arm
into his body, and he like drops the hammer to the ground. He's
like, what are you doing? You're message I'm finding you on your own
terms. And then as a bonus action, I'm going to turn into an
Earth elemental. Whoa, that's stone versus Earth. That's salty. Yeah,
I don't you. I mean you have the stats for that. So I'm
going to make your HP your blue bar great. So you turn into this
giant Earth elemental and Mason looks at it and you see the like flicker of
recognition in his eyes. It's like X always used to make these with her
beautiful paintings. They definitely care more about X than Gumpy. I do want
to make that very clear that I think that's clear. Yeah, or poor
dude, Jesus is blind. Uh, just like so everyone knows, but
he's going to desperately try. And Jesus is one of our blind viewers.
Jesus rusted. Jesus is blind. He judges us all without seeing us.
Yes, Wow, Wow, Jesus, is that true? Hey man,
I don't know what you're talking about. You're talking about what Anthony said.
He's one hundred feet away. I can't hear him. Yeah. Yeah,
he hits twice. He does nineteen damage into to grapher on the ground.
Who is who is struggling at the moment, Anthony Europe. All right,
I am going to you because I fly. I am going to fly silently
behind or here like way up in the corner of the map basically, and
I'm gonna be casting lightning bolt. Now here's the deal. It's one hundred
foot straight line five foot wide. Yeah you can. You can hit Or
in that and nobody else. Oh, I absolutely can hit Or. But
what I'm trying to do is if there's a way to do this, No,
okay, I would say no, no, no, no, no,
no hold on no no, no hold on. You're you're going over
two different sets of diagonals there. If you want to hit Mason, you
will hit Cody because Cody is literally in your line of five. Not if
I did something like this. I'm listen, you are bending the line.
This is what I'm gonna say. This is what I'm gonna say, I
don't care line is straight. I am not. I do not care about
any fucking grid shit here. I am saying that Cody has turned into a
giant Earth elemental and it's completely blocking the view of Well, in that regard,
if you want to hit Mason, you hit Cody, And if you
want to hit Grapha, you hit g In that regard, I'm just doing
this then, Okay, you're doing a straight line into, straight line through
or from the back so she doesn't even see him back there. Yeah,
all right, Well, in either case, she's gonna have to make a
lightning boat. She had to make a deck save. Okay, she's quite
good at those. Well she has to be sixteen. I'm like, oh
my god, lightning damage to the back, just for you, your fucking
Zappa. You fry some of her paper like body. She's accept full on
twenty eight damage. And she turns round and you see this anger in her
eyes. No, dare you do that to me? You're gonna fucking die,
you piece of shit. Wait one minute? Okay, so I okay,
that's that. I can't hear any of this. I'm gonna break your
arms off, and I'm gonna shove them off your arsehole so far that they
come up. While she's mumbling to herself and then I went thirty feet from
where I was, and I'm gonna fly up another thirty feet kind of back
to where I was. So just zips up, cap. I'm gonna find
your entire family, your entire linear to going back to the start. I'm
gonna wipe them all out. Okay, not graha, I mean that that
could be possible with me. I could roll and end up with the caveman
version of me, and she could kill that person, and my whole line
is just destroyed. Okay, Graphas on the ground, he's gonna you are
muted, Daniel Green. I was gonna say, there's this existential dread every
single time that you have like a family member come back where you can accidentally
alter history. Uh. Grapha pulls out a canister that he has in his
body and he's he's going to like squeeze it and explodes in a massive paint
and graffiti, and it's going to I need I need Button, Wilhelm and
Jesus to all do dicks saving throws for me. Okay, can you can
you can you do that? Oh wait, button and fucking Jesus have me?
Wow? What I just they just feel like real people, you know
what I'm saying, Like I feel like I know them. Why did I
give but an advantage? He doesn't advantage anyway? Sixteen eighteen. Okay,
so Jesus succeeds, but Willhelm you do not. So you are you're going
to take a big brunt of this damage. This is a big attack.
This is a terrible role good, so you do take twenty eight damage.
But what it also does is it pushes you back fifteen feet as its spray
sp saving check to see if I can hold onto the guy I'm grappling it.
Well, okay, you know what, I will let you do it.
The sort of whole idea of the attacks. It pushed it. But
I'll let you do it. I'll let you do it. But it has
to be. It has to be. It's okay, do a strength say
for me. You critically failed, so you definitely do not hold on.
You get said flying, the canister explodes, paint and spray acid penetrates your
skin and sends you coursing into the air. You would usually get pushed fifteen
feet backwards, which would just pit you into Cody. But I'm saying,
you're getting launched into the air now, and he sort of land on the
other side of Cody. Sir Button gets launched back. He takes a full
twenty eight, but Jesus stays standing and he takes off damage. He takes
fourteen, and that is that is Grapha's turn. Norman, You're up,
all right, boys, there's game in time. He stepped forward and disappears
again. Ran like with steel wind strikes slashing towards both Mason and Grapha.
Okay, I can't remember. Just do your roles. What saving clothes they
gotta do, so you he'll become one with the air. You slice out
forwards to Button. It's just cheering attack against ammiately spell attack against each target.
Okay, then do you we agree with my chromatic or yeah? Yeah,
I mean it's the same role regardless. So do the credible, you
know, not the spell like the thing on your seah. Yeah, twelve.
I assume that's Mason and then Graa. That does hit Grapher. So
you you hit Grapha. You you just sort of past Mason. You yeah,
and then you do the damage against Grapher. How much is it sixty
ten roll that damage that's big Grapha is getting low. I mean, he's
the one that's been taking all the hits. At the moment you as he
screeches out, he's getting desperate on my thifty one damage. He's taking it
like a champ. Though. I'll tell you that. I mean, like
these guys, like individually, these guys would were quite strong when you guys
were like level four or five when you fought them the first time round.
But now that you guys at level ten, you're just slicing through him.
He screeches out in agony. And so basically what Norman did. He stepped
forward. They disappeared in front of everyone's site if they were even looking at
this direction. Appears in front of Mason and swings and misses or like it
hits off of his like his stone, and then he disappears again, goes
behind gaffer, stabs him in the back, and then he goes five feet
back into the tree or behind the rock. Oh perfect, yeah, yeah,
yeah, perfect, perfect, perfect, Okay, and I teleported that
five feet so I don't know, yeah, yeah, necessarily, no one'm
there. If I'm like behind cover, they know you're there, though,
they could see you if they look at my direction. Willhelm you You've just
landed next to Cody on the other side of this big earth elemental. Actually
you're still blind. I do want to state that. So you have no
idea who you are? So well Jesus Inness, Jesus has yet to cure
your blindness. He's confident you could do it yourself. I believe in you.
Yeah, you you've yet to be kured by Jesus. Sorry, let
me think I need to think through my action here because of this changed my
plan a lot last second. You have fucking ass that's idea. Hmm.
Yeah, I'm gonna well, first of all, I'm gonna try and do
second wind, which is a one D ten plus my fighter level, so
it's a one D ten plus eight yeah, okay. And then so it's
gonna be five plus eight, so it's gonna be thirteen. You get thirteen
thirteen health back, all right, So you you get some health back,
but you're still blind. So then I'm gonna charge back to where I think
the guy was left on the ground and just this on the ground still,
I'm gonna try and like just fall on top of him, right, So
Cody earth elemental is now in your way, but you don't know that.
So what's going to happen is you are going to start charging and you smack
into this giant like brick wall. Maybe I'm going to roll and roll and
if I roll a critical success, maybe I last minute pivot over it.
You don't know. So you have given me your exact instructions, which is
charging a straight line. There is no way you could do this any better.
This is if there is reflexes. Yeah, reflexes, Okay, I
want to also do it if he was the quarterback of the New York Jets,
who is coincidentally Aaron Rodgers. Yeah, I do want to send the
man responsible for nine to eleven say that five Grafford is also still is not
on the ground. He got up after exploding. Everybody away from him.
So but Willhelm, I guess, yeah, you want to You you are
blind and you're running in a straight line. That's what you're telling me that
you're doing. You are going to hit a brick wall, which is Cody.
There's no I'm doing. My arms stretched, I could feel it.
Okay, So that's just what happens. You walk forwards and you touch Cody.
Okay, what now, it's more of a brass Cody. You look
down, you see Wilhelm has just like you're starting to touch your earth,
the elemental body. I'm blind. That's I'm blind, and he's right.
Well, he might be able to I can't. The only language an elemental
can speak is Tarran. So what does Terran sound like. It's like a
deep It's completely unrecreatable by humans. Is like the rumbling of Earth. It's
the sound of tectonic players grinding against each other. Oh, that's that's kinky.
Okay, Okay. What I'm gonna say is, when you get the
chance push me towards someone, do you want to read? I mean,
I will allow you to ready in action, so that if Cody points you
in the right direction, you could take your action. Then is that what
you want to deal? Okay, okay, So you ready in action.
When you're put in front of an enemy, you will attack them with your
attacks. Okay, Willhelm, you're ready. Action's ready. It's not always
in the air somehow, you guys, hear a gun cock, Anthony,
some birds are coming in your direction, and she fired. I'm just gonna
fire. She's gonna fire. Out. These two birds, like two jets
into the Twin Towers, two New York jets jets into the Twin Towers,
which is anthony. You know people when they hit it. Sorry, one
of them does quit. The other one is five plus twelve. I assume
twelve doesn't hit. So the twelve definitely does not hit. No, but
the twenty qrits, yeah it does, okay, so you want to take
it? Sure does it? Sure does? Yeah? Uh, fifteen plus
that's not crazy. I think I'll be all right. But then there's the
explosion. The explosion is I think is affected by the crit So you take
twenty three from the from the it's like penetrates you in one of your weak
spots and then it explodes. I need to do a deck save for the
just the extra forty six average, which you take the full fifteen. Okay,
so it is all right, Yeah, and these this jet fuel does
melt your steel beams? All right? Yeah, and she she continues,
you find up. Yeah, you'd like that big fucking like that, you
fucking stupid, fucking robot looking guy up the door. It is now Mason's
turn. It is unlikely. It is unlikely that episode forty five would be
someone's first episode. No, no, not completely impossible, though if it
was, I would like to apologize. Not not. I'm not apologizing as
if to say, like, this is not normal for East Guy D and
D. No it is. I'm just sorry that this is when you chose
to join us. Yeah, we've got to raid lassies, Kidia Di didn't
we imagine imagine if it this one? On this one? Do you have
fire resistance? Anthony? Very do you have? I was going to ask
you what was the type of damage that was? It would be for the
the second part would be fire, the explosion. The second part is fire,
So I have resistance today? You actually take seven instead of fIF?
Okay, and I thought yeah, because I thought that was uh, it
could have been for Sir Thunder. I could also use absorber elements. So
I'm going to capture some of that fire damage. Yeah, yeah, okay,
you captured the fire damage from the explosion. Yeah, okay. Fucking
Mason is up. His stone arm is fucked. So he he will reform
it at the end of his turn, is what I'm going to say.
But for this action, he cannot use that arm, which means he's going
to attack you. Co but he's not going to do any weird light turning
you to stone. Nonsense. He's got he's got to gripping on the chisel
and he's just gonna whack you with it. Okay, Oh he was still
holding the chisel. He's got Yeah, he dropped the hammer hand right,
so he's got he's just a chiselhand. He's going to fucking penetrate you with
the chisel. Tryumph, stab at me, stab at you? Okay,
and you are an Earth elementals, I have a seventeen Oh look at you
with your seventeen ac Yeah, little bit higher than Cody's thirteen. Okay,
okay, so here it comes that hits it does hit to take thirty one
damage? Is what type of damage is it? What sort of damage is
it is? Okay, so would was piercing slash, So it is piercing
damage. But you were also made out of rock, and he gets he
does extra damage to people made out of rock. Oh yeah, so I
guess that balances out if you have resistance a conspiercing damage, so you just
take a thirty one Okay, yes, fine, does extra damage gainst rock
a stone? So he fucking that makes sense into you and you you take
that thirty one. You still have a lot of health though as have Like
yes, two rock hard dudes chiseling and hammering each other and then at the
end of his turn, his arm reforms and he picks like Mark can't be
Oh gosh, do you think Aaron Rodgers would help? Okay, so Button
is up? Do you think he if you called him so button? Norman?
I see you hiding behind that rock. Would you like me to join
you? No? That's this is this is the way I fight. You
fight differently. Got to find your own path, little man. Other than
I'm calling someone little man, Norman. This guy, I think it is
shorter than you. Yeah, see less lesson number seven. When someone's won,
you aim for them. Graph was one or cracked. I will I
will continue attacking this man with the paint all over his body. He runs
up and well, well, actually, no, this is what he's gonna
say. He's gonna say to you, Norman. I would like to continue
attacking this man, but I uh, he did a lot of damage to
be last time I got close to him. I would like to take some
lessons out of your books, Norman. But the magic is that you taught
me. And he starts channeling this magic through his sword and he lifts it
up and he's going to do scorching ray, and these these lights of scorching
ray are gonna come down and attempt to hit Gaffer. So these are all
these alf as one Sir Button's learning. Okay, so this is his Oh
gosh, he's actually yeah, yeah, he's good at this. Okay,
it's just two D six, isn't it. Okay, So scoorchy ray's coming
out. Three of them one two, three? Oh wow. Well,
one of them hits and one of them critically fails. So the seven hits
gra and the first ball of flame out of the sword strikes into Grapher.
One of them misses, and the I guess the other one hits Jesus,
sorry, Jesus the last word. Jesus doesn't know that Button did it though,
because so he gets hit by this this ball of flame, and Jesus
goes, hey, man, I don't know these guys could use fire as
well. That's heart less than number eight. When when a gamer says that
someone's won, they're very rarely actually one oh well, okay, so gamers
are liars. That's good. To know, Cody, it is your turn
Earth Elemental pretty much? All right, Well, I see Willhelm is ready.
Would it use my action to lift him up? He's way small than
me right now and I have twenty strength. Can I just lift him as
part of like my over Wilhelm for Wilhelm? Yeah, I would just let
you freely just move him. Yeah, it's not even an actual athink because
I'm just gonna squint you in the right direction. Yeah, I'm gonna scoop
him up and I'm just gonna put him in Medson's face. Okay, okay,
the suck. You can now make your attacks. So you've got two
improvised weapon attacks robot in his head. Yeah, let's go go. I
say that I don't know your what's your improvised weapon this time? Is it
just like a bit of the rocks from Rock versus Rock versus Rock? Can
I pull one of my teeth and stab him with it? Okay? Yeah?
Sure? So you fucking yank outer tooth and you use them like you
have like teeth knuckles. I guess you start. So that's sorry. You
yack up bortialle te. You put him to do the damage on that,
and you do have a second attack. Obviously you're multi tax, so do
that other crit alright, so it was five yeah, so thirteen, and
then do the other attack that also hits one away from a crit. If
you was a championed it would be to that also teeth, it's his own
teeth, fucking teeth. Twenty total damage. Twenty total damage immediately and then
use you can use it now if you want to do flow your blows to
now just a usually said teeth points for a second twenty man both hit almost
krit again. I mean, just for record, you rolled a twenty and
nineteen and then two eighteen's all right, I'm really good when I'm being held
by someone I love. Well, that's wholesome. Oh wow, So he
takes the twenty minutes many years for like perfect. I don't know how much
time you put into that, but they look sensational behind that phone. This
is just it's just this beanie. That's very good. Action surge again or
anything like that. You have another You're good, I mean you're being held
in place and then okay, and now Cody back to you. What are
you going to do? Well? So I think when I put him in
this in face, I kind of like let go of him, and he's
like sat on miss and shoulder like pushing him in the first and I'm just
gonna like get my get my big fist ready and just start slamming him in
the stomach. I'm for to slam attacks I have, I have, Yeah,
I can make up to two slam attacks. Is to make my amulet
joke forgot forgot about that? You forgot about it? It has to be
the attack you forgot about it. So I'm ready. What it was gonna
be is do it next time? What are you doing to google the release
day of something perfect? So Cody is gonna say this joke and tarran and
no one's going to get it, okay, But he like readies his two
big rock fists and as he's swinging, he says, like, you can
call me Rocky Balboa. Oh I see Yeah. It just comes out like
level are you just here? Button laughing in the corner? Seven? But
he understands it. Wow, okay, twenty seven hits. Now this is
the question I'm gonna ask. I have an ability called siege monster, which
means that I give double damage to objects and structures. He counts as an
objective structure. That's very smart. That's specifically why I use a sculpture.
He's a structure. It's like cruise. He gets. He also, yeah,
wow, so you saw this is the best thing you could have turned
to the counter to this guy. I didn't realize you would be the counter
to this guy. I didn't know he could turn into an Earth elemental.
That was just beaese. I just this last level Jesus into him. He
takes that twenty eight damage, and this is good to know. So when
the Druid does this ship in my campaign, I'm ready for it now because
I didn't even know this was a fucking thing. Very niche right, Like
that's really good against like destroying a castle. But yeah, a sculpture guy
is the perfect thing to do that. Again, that's perfect. Yes,
you you. You slam into him, shattering bits of his stone pieces away,
and he goes, hmm, it seems like I underestimated you. I
haven't had a fight like this in a very long time. I think I
may actually enjoy this, he says, And because Teking has the leave it
exactly the spot at this point, I will say, to be continued,
it seems like a very good end point there all right. Ripper placed his
quill back in its ink pot. It made a satisfying rattle, a sound
signaling a good day's work. The constant street of paperwork was exhausting, but
that didn't bother him as much as he thought it once might. It felt
good to be productive and work an honest living. Pride embraced him in its
warm arms. He let it swaddle him as he leaned back in his chair.
Ripper's father was a crook, and he had grown up learning everything from
him. Ripper didn't consider him a bad person. But when you're poor,
you do what you can to survive. Ah. But maybe that's just an
excuse, he told himself. Easier to do bad work when you think you
have no other choice. They couldn't afford a grave. When he died,
Ripper remembered, looking down in the hole he spent all night digging for him.
This is what all the thieving and blood had earned him, a hole
in the ground. When Ripper first started working for Hops, it was an
attempt to be better than his father, But in truth, Ripper was never
really cut out for crime. He learned all the techniques of the trade,
but would always falter when putting it into practice, he put his skills into
security work, body guarding, making sure workers don't misbehave. It honestly,
wasn't as intensive as he was expecting. Hops was a powerful man, and
so nobody really wanted to him. It turns out Ripper was wrong about that.
He looked round at his office and smiled. It all turned out for
the better. Though this new job was probably the best thing that had ever
happened to him. He liked to think that maybe his father would be proud
that he managed to make it this far despite everything. A sharp knock came
at the door. Yes, the door was thrust open. Before Ripper could
even finish, A large man dressed in white waltzed into the room. Ripper
did not recognize him. He couldn't help but notice a snowflake embroidered on his
lapel. It looked ugly. The man prance round the room, eyes wandering
across the furniture. He was muttering something to himself, completely ignoring Ripper.
Excuse me, what do you think you're Oh, there's somebody here, the
man remarked, cutting him off. He barely made eye contact, his voice
tripping with self importance. You you can go, he said, nonchalantly,
I I can what. Ripper felt lost for words. His entire interaction had
taken him completely off guard. He sat in a pool of uncomfortable silence for
a second before he felt anger start to bubble up inside him. If this
was some kind of a joke, it wasn't funny. If you don't explain
yourself right now, I'll be forced to remove you from the premises for trespassing.
The strange man didn't even flinch. A small smile crept across his face.
Instead, he walked over to Ripper's desk and placed the stack of papers
on the table in front of him, emerald eyes glinting. Oh, I
don't think I made myself clear. It is you who is trespassing, so
run along. Ripper looked down and scanned the papers in front of him.
Dense, hard texts stared back at him, but Ripper could clearly make out
the words new ownership scrawled across the front. A sinking feeling gripped him,
Now no longer in the loving embrace of job security, stabs of confusion,
worry, panic course through his body. The man held his gaze, unperturbed
by Ripper's twitching, he shrugged. It's just business. Little Feather couldn't contain
her excite. Cody had given her a mission, and she was going to
see it through to the best of her abilities. She opened her journal and
started scribbling down her daily thoughts. She originally intended for this book to document
her learnings about the world and her travels, but she found her mind often
wandered, and entire pages would be filled with idle thoughts and drawings of Cody,
little notes of funny or cool things he said that she wanted to remember.
She would read them back to herself and smile. It helped her cope
with the knowledge that he was going to disappear one day. They didn't really
talk about it. She assumed it made him feel awkward, which she understood.
She tried not to think about it too much herself. A hammering of
dread always accompanied the thought. Little Feather took a deep breath in. She
was trying to dull out that feeling, trying to keep her heart hard.
It would be selfish of her to put her desires above the good of the
world, no matter how much she wanted to. Her brother had always said
it was better to love and have lost than to never have loved at all.
But her brother had also never been in a relationship, so maybe his
opinions were ones of desperation and not wisdom. She thought of him in that
moment. She'd been away from home for some time now, and she wondered
how he was doing, if he was traveling like her, or still in
the village conversing with the elders. She missed him, hoped to see him
again soon, wondered what he would think of her. Now we are here,
Corey's voice broke the silence. She had been so caught up in her
own head that it startled her. She looked at the creature, his sandstone
body towering like a statue. Corey was the name Cody gave him, so
it was the name everyone called him. That's just how things were, would
Cody, It is up mountain Boneslaw was standing besides him, two arms folded,
two arms sheltering his eyes from the sun as he peered up at Stagforth.
Yes, and it is a long way, she responded, wings already
stretched open. Bone Slaw grinned, not du problem. But we must hit
tavern when we are up. Eh? What is that? Said Corey?
Ah, my friend, I have many things to show you. Boneslaw put
his hand on the stone man's shoulder. Remember, we have a job to
do. Little Feather found herself so she never used to be with the responsible
one, felt like she was turning into her brother. We find Ripper first,
and then we can go to a tavern. Right, of course,
find the one called Ripper. I got it, friend. Boneslaw's smile was
unwavering. Someone else might have found his boundless enthusiasm unnerving, but Little Feather
quite liked him. Positivity felt good lights and dark times are essential, no
matter the light source. End your hike, then, boys, I'll meet
you up there. She smiled at them, and then with a great flap
of her wings, she took off towards the city. When Boneslaw found him,
he was sitting up against a wall, staring mournfully down at the ground.
So this little man is Ripper. He had heard a lot about him
and imagined with a name like Ripper that he would look a touch more dangerous.
But what sat here was a rat faced teen with the demeanor that screamed
I've lost everything. Are you sure this is him? He said, Yes,
this is him. Little Feather walked up beside him and crouched down get
to Ripper's eye level, barely making a sound as she did. So,
Ripper, are you your kay? She asked, as sympathetic softness to her
voice. The boy barely looked up. They they took everything. I don't
understand, he said, in defeatist tones. Boneslaw saw that there was a
trace of anger behind his eyes. What the fuck happened? It was snow
She somehow found out about Hobbsy's death. Hobbs is dead, Ripper replied,
seemingly shocked. Boneslaw didn't follow a lot of what was going on. All
this business talk was too much for his head. Why do people always find
ways to overcomplicate life? It always seemed to cause them more pain than happiness,
So why bother? Ripper sighed. I mean, I had my suspicions,
I'll be honest, but it did me no favors to question it,
so I never did. He leaned back against the wall and looked up to
the sky. I guess that makes sense. Everything I had built was on
the back of lies and murder. Little Feather stood up, her dash of
feathers falling as she did as if to punctuate her movement. Everything that you
built was on the back of your hard working skill, and I'm sure the
others would agree with me. This place would have crumbled without you. She
had an air of authority about her that bones Law wasn't used to. She
always seemed so passive around the others. But she fell into this role with
ease, hard work and skill. I was never cut out for this job.
I just got lucky. A bunch of murderers took a liking to me.
Ripper seemed to deflate when he spoke we can debate the ethics of the
others all we want, but that does not dick away from what you did.
You worked day and night to keep this company running. Business boomed with
you at the head. Cody always talked about how lucky we were to have
you, not the other way around. You really mean that. Ripper made
eye contact with her with a look like he'd never been given validation in his
life. Little Feather outstretched her hand, the sun bouncing off the collars of
her feathers. Of course, now he's not the time to give up.
The fight isn't over. Snow may have won the battle, but he has
not won the war. We have a plan, But we need your help
now more than ever. Ripper reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling himself
up. Once he was standing, it was like his demeanor had completely changed.
The sniveling boy that Boneslaw had just seen a few minutes ago was gone,
and a stern business man was standing before him. I just can't believe
Snow would do this. She was always so kind to me, he said,
dusting himself down. That is the problem with your beasneys types. Boneslaw
interjected, You are never honest, even with yourselves. Ripper turned to Boneslaw,
only now just noticing him. He smiled, and there was a friendliness
in his eyes that shone through. They had never met before, but Boneslaw
started to warm to the rat faced man. You are not wrong, big
guy, Bonslaw, my friend Boneslaw. Right, Ah, Ripper, it's
nice to meet you. He turned back to little feather eye, suddenly hard
and determined. Right then, what is the plan? He said? She
grinned up at Baroneslaw. Well, first we must go to the tavern.