Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you? Thank you? Thank you? Thank you?
What' s that? What? What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What? We' re going to die,
are we going to die? Let' s go samorir? Now we'
re going to die, we' re going to samos and come as if
there' s no pussy tomorrow. I did? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What? How are you going to die?
We' re going to die, are we going to die? Come
on, what are you doing now, what' s the first lesson?
Don' t ever let yourself be manipulated by an asshole. Let' s
learn. We' re gonna learn a lot tonight, folks. In the
end this thing about one doing something and the rest following him and rationally looks
a lot. Lately, for example, I' m sure you' ve
seen him in the last few months. Not because things are happening. This
is about people who are going to buy rare items compulsively from supermarkets this non
- people buying touring oil only in huge amounts for fear of war, that
of course, better against fear than sunflower oil. Right, last night,
my daughter had a field shift at 3: 00 in the morning. Ah
gets up oh what happens honey, oh that there is a monster that wants
to eat me calmed her down with oil of fira alone and fixing clear took
away the fear, obviously, and now surely that monster won' t want
to eat that shit for the afe and I tell you, my daughter is
to eat it. Well, you know what I mean, I don'
t mean what you' re doing in your house with 30 liters of sunflower
oil. Because remember that there was also a crazy move to buy tons of
toilet paper, which since 1 847 is what we used to wipe our asses.
I don' t know if you knew that fact, but not seriously
what you' re doing with thirty hygenic aper cells, so man, inside
how crazy he is with time and Kiwis gives him a way out, no,
but sunflower oil. It' s not like I' m packing up.
If there is a possible and more than likely nuclear holocaute. You say,
but you want to put on a bunker or a churrería asshole. What
are you doing? What are you doing, that you doubt this thing about
buying things as very concrete, because they are also very concrete things, not
concrete things, buying them as if there was no tomorrow. It' s
a sociological, psychological phenomenon called the gregarious compulsive feeling. We were going to
learn a lot tonight. It' s about human beings doing things by imitating
what we see in others, without asking why. And I want to believe
that all this is always started by someone joking, that is, there is
someone at home who is seeing, for example, the Living Red. If
you don' t know, the Vivo Red is a more current program that
they do in the mornings on a television and is taken today with a lot
of intensity. Maybe. If you want and there' s a gentleman named
Ferreras who asks you for a headline every twenty seconds or so with the background
music of the avengers all the fuck that happens to me and I go there
he tells me to give me a headline and I say a headline. I
' m not going to give you a shit, because you' re generating
me with this music aggressiveness, because I think there' s someone who'
s in his house seeing that in the bright red something kind is twisting.
Inflation has gone up zero two, a putin has mounted a horse and I
see a disturbance by the force of the joker and he goes to a supermarket
and he says you will see the mess and then he gets there picks a
random thing and fills his car with that thing randomly and then goes to the
tail. And then he' s in line with his car and the lady
who' s next door suddenly looks at him and says uy paco who takes
the car full of colonies of Bustamante eye and the lady says fuck, because
I' m going to take ten boats also in case that goes in,
in fact, waterfall and it' s the first and only time that Bustamante
has managed to be bestsellers in his fucking life. You don' t understand
no pregary compulsive feeling. I also tell you it is healthier to cook with
the colony of Bustamante and with sunflower oil. Hey. What I do,
which is that I' m watching a lot of audiovisual content in Russian just
in case you basically juport in Russian. Hey, we freaked out that I
saw him before, too, but he used to take out my cuckoo and
now he took out a notebook. I take notes. It' s different.
It' s the other way. It' s passive. It'
s passive. It' s thanks against all odds, because for what I
see in the videos I thought it was something else, but it' s
not passive. It' s thanks. She' s active. Thank you
very much, I guess, I don' t know, it' s
all going very fast. It' s going so fast. It' s
hard for me, it' s hard for me to think about the pandemic.
You remember the pandemic, that is, the pandemic. Nobody remembers the
pandemic. We hear it happened, it was serious, but no one remembers
the pandemic anymore. It' s how baby I told her. You know,
with a small difference, it' s that the pandemic killed millions of
people, and I didn' t tell almost anyone. I also say that
I believe that in these difficult times, because we are living in difficult times,
we recognize it. You' re not seeing ferrets. Not in these
difficult times, we must all contribute and do a little bit with each daily
gesture, as a small thing to make the world a better place. I
mean, I' m telling you if you want to do it, I
think it' s super cool. I say what I do. I'
ve been, like, two weeks since when I park the car, just
parking without even getting out of the car. If another car puts me in
parallel and makes me the gesture of leaving, I leave, makes me easy.
They' re such an asshole, but they' re a very good
person, and then I go out there. Lord gives him the joy of
his life, because that gives a lot of joy when you find a thebes
hears, for see if I leave and I spend another half hour wandering around,
waiting for another asshole like me to do the same. This is a
little gesture. Then we can also fight for a little bigger causes. For
example, we must fight for important things, for example equality, equality between
men and women, equality between the rafas, but above all for equality that
is not talked about. But I think it' s very important that we
fight around. We have to fight for equality between yawning and fart. There
' s a lot of yawn. We live in a patriarchal yawning society.
Don' t look at me like that. The yawn is allowed everything and
let' s say it clearly. We' ve gotten used to it.
But yawning is the most fucking disgusting thing you can do with the body is
open up to everything that gives The Hole. Bigger than we have there is
no one bigger than the mouth, it is to open it to everything it
gives and expel our worst air that has been going through it for days.
On the other hand, the fart that has been mistreated is very unfair.
Farts aren' t, they' re not worse, they' re just
yawns. What' s more, they' re more discreet. Surely you
have never seen anyone open his anus to everything he gives to fart that he
does not, for the yawn is an anus with very unpleasant teeth. No,
and now some will be thinking, because there is always one who says
neither bostecism nor pessimism look. You didn' t understand anything. I do
not intend to rest until in the world of work yawning and fart are treated
the same and if you, in a meeting, come a yawn, you
put your hand and nothing happens. In a meeting, you can do it
with your hand up your ass and nothing happens. What' s more,
I won' t rest and you' re my fight today that I transferred
you until in a meeting the fart is contagious too and we go into some
kind of woo and break the glass ceiling with our ass. Thanks anyway,
the important things. That said, there shouldn' t be an obvious sign
that sounded in our brain when we' re saying something you' ve been
able to cancel us for. You know on the roads, when you drive
and you get a little out of the lane there' s a line on
the ground that sounds ta. Ta Ta? Ta? Ta? Ta?
Ta? TA? PPP then just like you' re not talking and suddenly
you say for equality. Must we fight between fart and yawning For Pa,
Pa, Pa, Pa, Pa, Pa? As you know it'
s a you know it' s a way you' re in a conversation,
so man, I don' t care, but I think the transsexuals
potato ta ta? Ta? Ta? Ta? Ta? Ta, I
kind of tipped you off, it' s like you' re gonna get
off the road and you' re gonna get up your ass. Potato tata,
no. No. I have a lot of gay friends potato tata,
so in the head of vertinos erares it sounded all the time. Pa.
Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa?
Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? Pa? This would
be the thing. He doesn' t hear. I' m thinking you
guys know my name. My name is Pereasnar, but I don' t
know what you call yourselves. And this is very important to communicate to the
three of us. I' d like you all to shout your name at
once. Don' t worry, because I' m super capable of ignoring
you all at the same time it' s worth three and your name is
worth a two three. Okay, and now I' m asking you who
invented the names, no fucking idea. You' re clear who makes you
call, I don' t know, man I didn' t stay.
Who makes you call, Antonio, you call, Lucia, you call,
Mari Carmen and I call me Perez, because you don' t know.
What we do know is what we called ourselves. At first we called ourselves
what we called ourselves in the caverns. Humans have been here for a while,
and the truth is getting noticed. But in the beginning our name was
neither Pere, nor Lucia, nor Maricarmen, nor José Antonio. Our name
was clear, that is, you came to the cavern, which is not
a bar but a house. It' s called a bar, but you
didn' t take you to a friend' s cavern and you said how
nice, man, that you came. I' m here with m is
also coming after no, and then we' ll meet B. And then
there was a problem, because if there were two that were called B,
you had to put a second sound. No, no, no, but
it' s not B that' s the last name that gave birth to
the last names. You like it better than aznar, which is mine the
truth and this, which seems silly is forgive me, but we' re
learning a lot tonight. This is what makes us connect to our first sho,
because if any of you go down the street, joice eh, you
turn to it, because thousands of years ago you called yourself eh. He
uh. What? What? Anyway, what else, oh yeah I'
m an alcoholic. Uh, let' s see, I' ve been
drinking for a year, two months and thirteen days and seven hours, but
who' s counting. I don' t get it wrong, I mean,
I usually get it right. But today I' ve been brought to
a bar by the sons of Bitch and I' ve got fifty- seven
bottles behind me. Yeah, I counted them on the corner of my eye.
I can tell you what' s left. Each one now I don
' t drink, uh, now I' ve changed alcohol for walking every
time I feel like drinking ando. And because of you today, I'
ll make my way to Santiago tonight. True I explain because I believe that
I firmly believe that everything that happens to us as children affects us as adults.
I mean, I think if you' re a kid that you study
in the maristas and there' s a marista brother that when you' re
sitting in your desk, he always comes in the back and puts his penis
here on your shoulder, like your shoulder is an ashtray and your penis is
a cigarette. If that happens very often, I think over the years,
because the most normal thing is that you in the end, because you'
re a smoker. Not that I was there for you, but I'
m an alcoholic of my fucking child It turns out I was in the hospital
when I was seven, because suddenly, for no reason, I was giving
blood to sixty- five degrees that I think of now. When they tell
me, I say how they knew the exact temperature. There was a nurse
in the lake, a thermometer of m or maybe the doctor was like a
teacher for it. I used to say this one' s hot. Well,
the thing is, I had blood coming out of my genitals and I
had a really bad lumbar area that I thought about when I was seven.
Well, finally, it was a pretty fucked- up kidney infection and when
it was over, I got cured and when I was discharged, I was
told two very important things that have marked the rest of my life. First,
I had to remove from my diet the cheese that looks like it'
s his non- marital kidney. We' re going to learn a lot
tonight and the other one told me for the rest of your days you have
to drink a lot of liquid. And I' m an alcoholic because they
didn' t specify the fucking doctors. I don' t know about you,
but I didn' t applaud you. I didn' t applaud,
eh. I have a grudge. That' s where I' ve applauded
more of Baby Ponte than the total doctors I' ve been an alcoholic,
but now I' m not, although now that I think about it,
Auntie if we' re going to die, because I eat your ass for
a shot of jager. Right now, uh, it' s no joke.
I' m holding on super well. I' m holding on very
well, and that world is making it very difficult for us. I think
I watch TV and all that, and I' m saying that this is
doing everything to get me back to drinking eh he' s more selfish.
But, well, there are also economic interests there that I was moving many
sectors, uh the world of col la dope, then junk food. I
mean, I moved a lot of things you imagine that suddenly I send all
the shit to you and I get home drunk today with a turulo and I
find my daughter, Dad what happens me, fuck me what I know takes
feite of touring will you and sleeps fucking girl for what you earn with absthemia.
After this time I haven' t had a drink, the main thing
and what I' ve been most excited about is that since I don'
t drink, I' ve gained in lucidity. You know, it'
s for the best, the best thing about quitting alcohol. It' s
lucidity and then don' t throw up on my daughter while she opens the
Christmas presents. That' s cool, too. But above all lucidity,
because lucidity, above all it gives you is that it allows you to ask
the right questions. And the right question to ask is whether there really would
be a real danger that we would die, if there really was a real
danger that a nuclear war would fall on our heads. If that was true,
if we had to get out of our homes quickly and you could only
take one thing, what would it be that it wouldn' t be sunflower
oil kids, then no, then that friends. Thank you very much.
You' re a fantastic audience. My name is Aznar.