WEBVTT

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Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your host, Jasmine, then

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Yale, y'all gonna hear a little
outside. I'm beyont from the windows,

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I hear the birds and ship.
But I'm coming on here today because I

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was able to take a moment and
sit with myself. I told y'all,

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I'll be doing a lot of self
reflection. And I think that writing is

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very helpful to me. It allows
me to organize my thoughts. It allows

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me to write out my plans,
to write out my goals, to write

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out what I see for myself because
I see so much and I feel like

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I'm just I feel like I'm such
a dreamy person, and I have so

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many ideas and thoughts and I will
let them sit in my head. You

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know what I'm saying. I feel
like I become stagnant because I'm just so

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I'm I'm so in my head.
I am such a in my head person.

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So anyway, I pull it out
an old journal today and it had

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a journal prompting there that acts,
how do you feel about the unknown?

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And that's so crazy to me because
I know how I feel about the unknown

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deep down in my heart. I
know how I feel about the unknown,

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and I think, well, let
me look. Let me not speak for

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nobody else, but I know how
I feel about the unknown. I am

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it's dogs and shit. I am
afraid of the unknown, so much so

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that I allow the fear to cripple
me from even taking action, so afraid

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of the unknown. Execution is one
motion. It's action. It's just to

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do it. It's just it's to
make a fucking move. Execution is one

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motion. Yet I have a million
excuses. There's something about not knowing what's

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on the other side of a door
for me, Like, I'm extremely excited,

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but I'm also very terrified of what
could happen, what could go wrong,

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what other people would think if I
could bounce back from it, Like

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all of those thoughts are irrelevant,
but that's what I think about. But

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I'm also extremely excited about everything that
could go right. I'm extremely excited about

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what I see on the other side
of the door. I see it being

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the best decision of my life.
I see myself living the life that I

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dream of that I actually see for
myself. I see myself feel with happiness.

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I see myself sharing how I got
to that place, and it's not

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about the material things. It's not
about a dollar amount, but I actually

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see these things. It also asks
what is the best unknown you ventured off

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to discover? The best unknown I've
ventured off to discover was Callie. The

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courage to venture off across the world
to go to Callie. And to me

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that was just on a small scale, because, like I said, in

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the long term, what I see
for myself, it's way past Callie.

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It's way past Callie. So to
experience a vision that you see for yourself,

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you gotta have the courage to step
out into the unknown. It was

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a quote in the journal that said
life expands or strengths indirect proportion to one's

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courage. So you've gotta have a
courage to step out into the unknown.

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You got to and if you're a
person like me, that'd be so in

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their head. It's like, regardless
of you stepping out into the unknown,

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it's going to be something that you've
never felt before. It's going to be

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something that you've never experienced before.
It's going to be something new. You're

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not gonna know what to expect.
You can't step into the unknown expecting comfortability.

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It's not going to happen you've never
been there. Your first time going

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somewhere. You don't know what to
expect because you've never been there, So

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stop trying to create all of these
ideas, all of these expectations. You

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don't know. What's the nigga?
You never been there, You don't know.

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First of all, it's the unfucking
known, the unfucking known bitch,

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nigga unknown collar right D. When
you look at your phone, no caller,

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right D. Unknown, We don't
know. We don't know who it

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is. We don't know the number. The number don't even show. It's

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unknown. So you gotta be okay
with not knowing. That's hard when you

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gotta control problem. If you want
to live the life that was destined for

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you, if you want you know
what I'm saying, If you want to

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live your fate, if you want
whatever God or the universe has for you.

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Guess what. You can't control that. But you're so scary you ain't

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gonna take a step into the unknown. Who gives a fuck? Was on

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the other side? Who gives a
flying fuck? Go experiencing, Go see

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what it is. Maybe you don't
like it, maybe you're not, but

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it's going to change your life.
You have to embrace change. That's the

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only way that you're gonna grow,
That's the only way that ship is going

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to change. How can you expect
something for yourself, for your life if

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you don't want to change. And
that's a lot of people's problems. That's

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a lot of people's problems. You
want your life to be different, but

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you don't want to change. You
want to do the same shit every day.

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You want to wake up and be
the same person every day. I'm

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about to pull my own fucking card. You want to be the same person

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every day. I just told my
homegirl this today. I was saying,

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yeah, like, I kind of
feel like me saying that I'm good by

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myself. I want to be alone. I feel like that's a cop out

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because I don't want to change.
You know what I'm saying. I mean

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overall, Yes, I think I'm
an amazing person. You know what I'm

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saying. I think I'm an amazing
person, amazing heart, you know what

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I'm saying. A great friend,
a great companion, a great confide Like

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I show love, I uplift,
I bring value, I support, you

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know what I'm saying. But at
the end of the day, there are

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still things about myself that I need
to change. I can't even be the

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best version of me because I refuse
to change. So then I start to

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look at the ways that I self
sabotage myself, even on a small skille,

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just little shit that I do every
day that is not going to contribute

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to the person that I want to
be. Why the fuck do you keep

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doing that? Why the fuck do
you keep doing that? And then in

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the grand scheme of things, you
want to look at the big picture and

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be like, shit's not changing,
nigga, because you're not changing. You're

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not changing. The energy is stagnant, it's not moving. You're not moving,

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You're not doing anything. Literally,
literally, you have a vision,

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you have you have crystal clear vision
of what you see for yourself. That

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shit is real. Manifestation is real. I can see a vision for myself.

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That's how you know time is not
real because I can see the future.

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I can see my future self.
I can see my future life right.

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But I'm refusing to change. I
can't get there if I don't change.

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I gotta be real with myself.
But another thing is that change is

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uncomfortable. Change is change. Don't
feel good? Who wants to be uncomfortable.

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It's not a good feeling, you
know what I'm saying. Don't nobody

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want to walk around and know two
small shoes. Don't nobody want the weather

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to be too cold, too hot? You know what I'm saying. So

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change is uncomfortable. But again that
goes hand to hand with the unknown.

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I don't really know what's gonna happen. I don't really know what to expect.

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You know what I'm saying. Change
is uncomfortable. But you gotta thrust

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yourself into that ship and you gotta
adapt, You gotta adjust, You gotta

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be flexible in the mind and in
the body. But you gotta have that

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courage to step into the unknown.
And that's why it's important to have a

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positive mindset. You already afraid of
a motherfucking unknown. Let me go on

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this bitch with a positive mindset.
Let me go in there affirming myself that

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I got this four or four or
four on the clock. I can't make

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this shit up, for it's given
stability. Where do you need stability in

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your life? Where do you need
stability in your life? So when you're

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going into the unknown, you need
to have a positive mindset. It's important

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to believe in yourself. It's important
to believe in yourself. You're worried about

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everybody else believing in you. Do
you believe in yourself because niggas don't give

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a fuck. Nigga's not gonna give
a fuck until you showed them why you

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believed in yourself. Like damn,
I should have believed in this bitch.

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I should have invested it in this
bitch. I should I don't give a

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fuck about it. If you believe
in me or not. I see the

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vision, I see it. And
if you can see the vision, that

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means that it's real. So don't
doubt. Don't doubt yourself. Don't doubt

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yourself. You give everybody else to
benefit of the doubts, so give it

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to yourself. Okay, the number
one rule be don't give it nigga to

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benefit of the doubt. That nigga
gonna show you why every time I'll try

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to give you the benefit of the
nigga, give yourself the benefit of the

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doubts, nigga, let's try.
Let's roll the dice on this. Let

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me let me roll the dice on
myself. And if you believe in yourself,

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the nigga you talking cash it,
nig I got this. Do you

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feel me? When you doubt your
power, you give power to your doubt.

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When you doubt your power, you
give power to your doubt. Do

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you want to be powerful? Do
you want to be successful? Do you

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doubt yourself more than you should?
I definitely lead doubt myself more than I

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should. My mind allows me to
self sabotage, which is crazy because I

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have crystal clear vision. I keep
telling you, I see shit for myself.

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What I see in my mind for
my life. I could project it

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through my eyes and I could see
it. I could see it outside of

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my body in the physical world me
looking straight ahead right now, I could

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see myself in the future. I
can see it. If I close my

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eyes, I can envision. I
could really see that shit. I could

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see myself being successful. I could
see myself sharing my gift with the world,

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just like I'm sharing my gift right
now. I am powerful because I

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have a voice. I am powerful
because I can execute. I am powerful

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because I am resilient in the face
of difficulty. And baby girl be going

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through some difficulties. Okay. I
am powerful because I I have knowledge.

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I am powerful because I have a
positive mindset. I think. Another thing

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is like I feel like, well, first of all, failures is not

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really a thing, right, But
I think that I'm both afraid to fail

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and I'm afraid to be successful,
which is crazy. That shit sounds crazy

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to say that you're afraid to be
successful. I am, But that's why

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I so sabotage. I could easily
pull myself out on all my bullshit.

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I could easily pull in my car
and be like, Bro, you're self

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sabotaging. Why don't you want to
be success? You know what I'm saying.

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If you really got on your own
ass about your shoot, you'd be

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like, bro, you don't want
to be successful? You so sabotaging or

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you ain't even trying? Which one
is it? But failure is not really

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a thing because if you ain't dead, you ain't feel You're still waking up

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every day making excuses on why whatever
it is for your life, why you

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can't do something, whatever whatever it
is for you. But if you ain't

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dead, you ain't feel every day
that you wake up is an opportunity to

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succeed. It's an opportunity to feed
your mind power and positivity and you got

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to think that everything that you go
through in life is an experience you learn,

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and that's life, and you keep
going, But what do you see

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for yourself? You got to be
connected to the vision and apply all the

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wisdom and the knowledge that life is
giving you on the way. One thing

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that I did the other day was
I went indoor rock climbing and it was

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a motherfucking experience. Okay, it
was a whole fucking experience and it really

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really touched me, Like I got
so many gems that day, and I

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was just tapped in mentally, like
it was definitely a very physical activity.

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Do not get it twisted. I
was just sore for two days in a

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row, like baby my my neck, my back, my neck and my

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backs, but offer on my arms
in my back though, man, working

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muscles I don't. I don't use
working muscles I don't use in the body,

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but also working muscles that I don't
use in my mind I have.

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I posted about it on Instagram and
I was saying that it was it was

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more of a mental activity for me
than it was a physical activity, which

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was crazy because I didn't even I
honestly didn't even think about it like that.

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Going into it. I didn't even
think about that at all. Um

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it was my first time going.
That's number one, and I absolutely enjoyed

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my time there. I enjoyed my
experience. Um. Like I said,

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one of my main focuses right now
in life is to really build my mental

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confidence, to really pour positivity into
my mind, you know what I'm saying,

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releasing that fear based mindset. I
just talked about being afraid of stepping

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into the unknown. You gotta be
able to speak whatever it is that you

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see for your life and speak it
over your life. You gotta, and

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you gotta affirm it for yourself.
You gotta tell yourself these things that you

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that you can do it, that
you will do with that, you know

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what I'm saying. Like and again, with rock climbing, it's a it's

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a mental activity. It's a mental
sport, having to use your body to

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get to the next rock, to
keep climbing up the wall, you know

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what I'm saying. So it's a
it's a way to really stimulate your mind

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and baby, it definitely builds the
adrenaline. Another major thing for me was,

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Um, you know, I had
a harness on but letting go letting

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go was was a very big lesson
for me, and that because I didn't

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climbed up to the motherfucking top of
the wall, bitch. And first of

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all, the more that I climb, I'm like, oh fuck, nigga,

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i gotta make it to the top. Like you know what I'm saying,

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It's it's no stopping, it's no
going down, it's no you know

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what I'm saying. Like, once
you get to a certain and I feel

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like that in life, once you
get to a certain point, it ain't

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no turning back. You didn't came
too far. You didn't came too far

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to go back. You then came
too far to go back. So it

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got to that point and then you
start to get scared. Then you start

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to get that anxiety because you feel
like you can't go no further, which

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is a limitation that you're creating in
your mind. You can And I think

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that one of the most important things
about it, the physical aspect of climbing

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the wall for me, is in
order to you gotta keep moving. You

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know what I'm saying. You gotta
keep moving. In order to move up,

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you gotta push yourselfa up. You
gotta lift yourself up. Literally,

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So if I'm looking for the next
place to put my foot, I gotta

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be lifting my foot up. But
I gotta be pulling my body up too,

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you know what I'm saying. And
I gotta be grabbing for the next

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rock. So you gotta take action. You gotta move, you know what

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I'm saying. But when you move, everything else gotta rise too. Everything

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else gotta rise too, everything else
gotta elevate too. But one of the

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hardest parts for me was letting go. So then it got to a point

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where it was like, Okay,
I can't go any higher, right,

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because at that point I really needed
the upper body strength. But and this

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is the thing, the longer that
I waited, the worst it got,

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because maybe I could have tried to
pull myself up, you know, but

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I got it got to a point
where I didn't want to try no more,

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right, So I gave up on
myself. I didn't even want to

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try, you know. And on
top of that, um, you know,

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I was first of all, I
was very impressed and very proud of

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myself with what I did for it
being my first time, I was super

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impressed with myself. Um, But
when I got to that one part.

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It was one part where it was
like you really got to use your upper

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body straight to get it, like
really pour yourself over and and I felt

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like I didn't have it in me. And so now I'm sitting there because

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I'm afraid to let go. Everybody
is like, just let the go,

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and you know what I'm saying,
like the fall will be graceful if you

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just let go. But I was
so afraid to let go, and I

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could feel all the emotions in my
body, all of the emotions. I

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felt, the anxiety, I felt
the fear. I started getting hot,

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my heart start beating fast because I
wouldn't let go. All I had to

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do was let go. First of
all, you gotta harness on. So

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it's really not the fear of the
unknown. It ain't like, oh,

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I don't know what's gonna happen,
like nigga, let go and you gonna

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you know what I'm saying, you
go fall gracefully. You could kinda tap

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your foot going down if you're depending
on how you fall, it could you

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know what I'm saying, The fall
could be very easy, but you gotta

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let go. I waited until my
four arms gave out and but it was

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such a relief when I let go, like seeing how easy it was to

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just let go and you know,
go down or whatever, but ultimately not

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like let myself. I let myself
fall to the ground, right, but

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I went down on my back,
and it was just it was such a

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release, and I was like laughing
and crying, like a little tears coming

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out of my eyes, just because
of like just that adrenaline of falling and

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letting go. Like all you had
to do was let go. All you

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had to do was let go.
The more that you hold onto stuff that

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no longer serves you, that has
ran its course in your life, you're

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gonna cause all of that stuff that
I was feeling, all of that anxiety,

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that fear getting hot, you know
what I'm saying, heartbeat. When

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you hold onto shit that don't serve
you, you're gonna delay the release.

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You're gonna delay a release when you
could just let it go and let the

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universe do what it's gonna do and
move on and go on to the next

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part of your life. So all
of that shit was just very mental for

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me, Like it was definitely very
much a mental exercise for me. And

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also I was told to set an
intention when I was climbing the wall,

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like, what's one of your goals? What's something that you want to do?

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And the more that I thought about
it, again, the more that

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you the more that you think about
something that you want to manifest or whatever

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whatever you see for yourself, think
about it when you climbing the motherfucking wall,

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like, oh bitch, I'm about
to get to my motherfucking goals.

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I'm about to do this. I'm
about to accomplish you know what I'm saying.

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Like it was just a different type
of a different type of adrenaline,

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a different type of power, a
different type like it just puts something else

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in me, like and I love
that feeling. But the same applies in

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your real life though. So no, you cannot be afraid of the unknown,

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because look at how much you learn, look at how much you discover

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in those moments when you step out
and you take that chance, you take

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that risk, you know, you
do whatever it is that you want to

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do, and then that shows you
how powerful you are, and that builds

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your confidence. So it was just
it was a very beautiful lesson for me,

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and I just thought that I would
come on here and just share that

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with y'all really quickly. I actually, like I said, I was sore

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for two days and I feel a
little bit. I'm still a little sore,

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but I feel a lot better today
and I want to do some yoga

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today. It's Sunday, it's a
chill day, and I definitely want to

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move my body and just you know, get some movement in. It takes

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some time to breathe. That's another
thing, like, do y'all be breathing

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in life because and baby, you
need to breathe because you will experience some

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crazy moments in life where it's like
damn, I just need to take a

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second and just fucking breathe. And
that's the only way that you gonna get

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through that ship is if you fucking
breathe through it, hold your breath around

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and die. You know what I'm
saying. That's the only way. That's

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the only way. And again,
life is gonna put you in a lot

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of uncomfortable situations and you have to
be able to breathe through that shit and

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come out on the other side,
powerful as fuck, accomplished as fuck.

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So yes that I just wanted to
come on here really quick and just share

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that with y'all. I'm about to
get back to my Sunday, my Sunday

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Funday to myself. You know what
I'm saying, self care. Self care

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is the way, okay, tuning
into yourself, getting prepared for your week,

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setting your goals, thinking about what
you need to do, all of

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that shit like, because I got
somewhere I want to be. I got

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somewhere I want to be, I
got somewhere I need to be. I

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got a whole motherfucking purpose to fulfill
in this life. And it's not gonna

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get done if you know, I'm
being mindless and doing stuff, you know

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what I'm saying, engaging the shit
that's not getting me closer to my goals.

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So yes, that's all that I
want to come on here and share

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with y'all. So I hope that
y'all enjoy this. I hope y'all took

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something from this. Make sure that
you follow me on all platforms that healing

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my homies, and that is all
that I have for you. Ah, I'm out