Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your host, Jasmine, then
Yale, y'all gonna hear a little outside. I'm beyont from the windows,
I hear the birds and ship. But I'm coming on here today because I
was able to take a moment and sit with myself. I told y'all,
I'll be doing a lot of self reflection. And I think that writing is
very helpful to me. It allows me to organize my thoughts. It allows
me to write out my plans, to write out my goals, to write
out what I see for myself because I see so much and I feel like
I'm just I feel like I'm such a dreamy person, and I have so
many ideas and thoughts and I will let them sit in my head. You
know what I'm saying. I feel like I become stagnant because I'm just so
I'm I'm so in my head. I am such a in my head person.
So anyway, I pull it out an old journal today and it had
a journal prompting there that acts, how do you feel about the unknown?
And that's so crazy to me because I know how I feel about the unknown
deep down in my heart. I know how I feel about the unknown,
and I think, well, let me look. Let me not speak for
nobody else, but I know how I feel about the unknown. I am
it's dogs and shit. I am afraid of the unknown, so much so
that I allow the fear to cripple me from even taking action, so afraid
of the unknown. Execution is one motion. It's action. It's just to
do it. It's just it's to make a fucking move. Execution is one
motion. Yet I have a million excuses. There's something about not knowing what's
on the other side of a door for me, Like, I'm extremely excited,
but I'm also very terrified of what could happen, what could go wrong,
what other people would think if I could bounce back from it, Like
all of those thoughts are irrelevant, but that's what I think about. But
I'm also extremely excited about everything that could go right. I'm extremely excited about
what I see on the other side of the door. I see it being
the best decision of my life. I see myself living the life that I
dream of that I actually see for myself. I see myself feel with happiness.
I see myself sharing how I got to that place, and it's not
about the material things. It's not about a dollar amount, but I actually
see these things. It also asks what is the best unknown you ventured off
to discover? The best unknown I've ventured off to discover was Callie. The
courage to venture off across the world to go to Callie. And to me
that was just on a small scale, because, like I said, in
the long term, what I see for myself, it's way past Callie.
It's way past Callie. So to experience a vision that you see for yourself,
you gotta have the courage to step out into the unknown. It was
a quote in the journal that said life expands or strengths indirect proportion to one's
courage. So you've gotta have a courage to step out into the unknown.
You got to and if you're a person like me, that'd be so in
their head. It's like, regardless of you stepping out into the unknown,
it's going to be something that you've never felt before. It's going to be
something that you've never experienced before. It's going to be something new. You're
not gonna know what to expect. You can't step into the unknown expecting comfortability.
It's not going to happen you've never been there. Your first time going
somewhere. You don't know what to expect because you've never been there, So
stop trying to create all of these ideas, all of these expectations. You
don't know. What's the nigga? You never been there, You don't know.
First of all, it's the unfucking known, the unfucking known bitch,
nigga unknown collar right D. When you look at your phone, no caller,
right D. Unknown, We don't know. We don't know who it
is. We don't know the number. The number don't even show. It's
unknown. So you gotta be okay with not knowing. That's hard when you
gotta control problem. If you want to live the life that was destined for
you, if you want you know what I'm saying, If you want to
live your fate, if you want whatever God or the universe has for you.
Guess what. You can't control that. But you're so scary you ain't
gonna take a step into the unknown. Who gives a fuck? Was on
the other side? Who gives a flying fuck? Go experiencing, Go see
what it is. Maybe you don't like it, maybe you're not, but
it's going to change your life. You have to embrace change. That's the
only way that you're gonna grow, That's the only way that ship is going
to change. How can you expect something for yourself, for your life if
you don't want to change. And that's a lot of people's problems. That's
a lot of people's problems. You want your life to be different, but
you don't want to change. You want to do the same shit every day.
You want to wake up and be the same person every day. I'm
about to pull my own fucking card. You want to be the same person
every day. I just told my homegirl this today. I was saying,
yeah, like, I kind of feel like me saying that I'm good by
myself. I want to be alone. I feel like that's a cop out
because I don't want to change. You know what I'm saying. I mean
overall, Yes, I think I'm an amazing person. You know what I'm
saying. I think I'm an amazing person, amazing heart, you know what
I'm saying. A great friend, a great companion, a great confide Like
I show love, I uplift, I bring value, I support, you
know what I'm saying. But at the end of the day, there are
still things about myself that I need to change. I can't even be the
best version of me because I refuse to change. So then I start to
look at the ways that I self sabotage myself, even on a small skille,
just little shit that I do every day that is not going to contribute
to the person that I want to be. Why the fuck do you keep
doing that? Why the fuck do you keep doing that? And then in
the grand scheme of things, you want to look at the big picture and
be like, shit's not changing, nigga, because you're not changing. You're
not changing. The energy is stagnant, it's not moving. You're not moving,
You're not doing anything. Literally, literally, you have a vision,
you have you have crystal clear vision of what you see for yourself. That
shit is real. Manifestation is real. I can see a vision for myself.
That's how you know time is not real because I can see the future.
I can see my future self. I can see my future life right.
But I'm refusing to change. I can't get there if I don't change.
I gotta be real with myself. But another thing is that change is
uncomfortable. Change is change. Don't feel good? Who wants to be uncomfortable.
It's not a good feeling, you know what I'm saying. Don't nobody
want to walk around and know two small shoes. Don't nobody want the weather
to be too cold, too hot? You know what I'm saying. So
change is uncomfortable. But again that goes hand to hand with the unknown.
I don't really know what's gonna happen. I don't really know what to expect.
You know what I'm saying. Change is uncomfortable. But you gotta thrust
yourself into that ship and you gotta adapt, You gotta adjust, You gotta
be flexible in the mind and in the body. But you gotta have that
courage to step into the unknown. And that's why it's important to have a
positive mindset. You already afraid of a motherfucking unknown. Let me go on
this bitch with a positive mindset. Let me go in there affirming myself that
I got this four or four or four on the clock. I can't make
this shit up, for it's given stability. Where do you need stability in
your life? Where do you need stability in your life? So when you're
going into the unknown, you need to have a positive mindset. It's important
to believe in yourself. It's important to believe in yourself. You're worried about
everybody else believing in you. Do you believe in yourself because niggas don't give
a fuck. Nigga's not gonna give a fuck until you showed them why you
believed in yourself. Like damn, I should have believed in this bitch.
I should have invested it in this bitch. I should I don't give a
fuck about it. If you believe in me or not. I see the
vision, I see it. And if you can see the vision, that
means that it's real. So don't doubt. Don't doubt yourself. Don't doubt
yourself. You give everybody else to benefit of the doubts, so give it
to yourself. Okay, the number one rule be don't give it nigga to
benefit of the doubt. That nigga gonna show you why every time I'll try
to give you the benefit of the nigga, give yourself the benefit of the
doubts, nigga, let's try. Let's roll the dice on this. Let
me let me roll the dice on myself. And if you believe in yourself,
the nigga you talking cash it, nig I got this. Do you
feel me? When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. Do
you want to be powerful? Do you want to be successful? Do you
doubt yourself more than you should? I definitely lead doubt myself more than I
should. My mind allows me to self sabotage, which is crazy because I
have crystal clear vision. I keep telling you, I see shit for myself.
What I see in my mind for my life. I could project it
through my eyes and I could see it. I could see it outside of
my body in the physical world me looking straight ahead right now, I could
see myself in the future. I can see it. If I close my
eyes, I can envision. I could really see that shit. I could
see myself being successful. I could see myself sharing my gift with the world,
just like I'm sharing my gift right now. I am powerful because I
have a voice. I am powerful because I can execute. I am powerful
because I am resilient in the face of difficulty. And baby girl be going
through some difficulties. Okay. I am powerful because I I have knowledge.
I am powerful because I have a positive mindset. I think. Another thing
is like I feel like, well, first of all, failures is not
really a thing, right, But I think that I'm both afraid to fail
and I'm afraid to be successful, which is crazy. That shit sounds crazy
to say that you're afraid to be successful. I am, But that's why
I so sabotage. I could easily pull myself out on all my bullshit.
I could easily pull in my car and be like, Bro, you're self
sabotaging. Why don't you want to be success? You know what I'm saying.
If you really got on your own ass about your shoot, you'd be
like, bro, you don't want to be successful? You so sabotaging or
you ain't even trying? Which one is it? But failure is not really
a thing because if you ain't dead, you ain't feel You're still waking up
every day making excuses on why whatever it is for your life, why you
can't do something, whatever whatever it is for you. But if you ain't
dead, you ain't feel every day that you wake up is an opportunity to
succeed. It's an opportunity to feed your mind power and positivity and you got
to think that everything that you go through in life is an experience you learn,
and that's life, and you keep going, But what do you see
for yourself? You got to be connected to the vision and apply all the
wisdom and the knowledge that life is giving you on the way. One thing
that I did the other day was I went indoor rock climbing and it was
a motherfucking experience. Okay, it was a whole fucking experience and it really
really touched me, Like I got so many gems that day, and I
was just tapped in mentally, like it was definitely a very physical activity.
Do not get it twisted. I was just sore for two days in a
row, like baby my my neck, my back, my neck and my
backs, but offer on my arms in my back though, man, working
muscles I don't. I don't use working muscles I don't use in the body,
but also working muscles that I don't use in my mind I have.
I posted about it on Instagram and I was saying that it was it was
more of a mental activity for me than it was a physical activity, which
was crazy because I didn't even I honestly didn't even think about it like that.
Going into it. I didn't even think about that at all. Um
it was my first time going. That's number one, and I absolutely enjoyed
my time there. I enjoyed my experience. Um. Like I said,
one of my main focuses right now in life is to really build my mental
confidence, to really pour positivity into my mind, you know what I'm saying,
releasing that fear based mindset. I just talked about being afraid of stepping
into the unknown. You gotta be able to speak whatever it is that you
see for your life and speak it over your life. You gotta, and
you gotta affirm it for yourself. You gotta tell yourself these things that you
that you can do it, that you will do with that, you know
what I'm saying. Like and again, with rock climbing, it's a it's
a mental activity. It's a mental sport, having to use your body to
get to the next rock, to keep climbing up the wall, you know
what I'm saying. So it's a it's a way to really stimulate your mind
and baby, it definitely builds the adrenaline. Another major thing for me was,
Um, you know, I had a harness on but letting go letting
go was was a very big lesson for me, and that because I didn't
climbed up to the motherfucking top of the wall, bitch. And first of
all, the more that I climb, I'm like, oh fuck, nigga,
i gotta make it to the top. Like you know what I'm saying,
It's it's no stopping, it's no going down, it's no you know
what I'm saying. Like, once you get to a certain and I feel
like that in life, once you get to a certain point, it ain't
no turning back. You didn't came too far. You didn't came too far
to go back. You then came too far to go back. So it
got to that point and then you start to get scared. Then you start
to get that anxiety because you feel like you can't go no further, which
is a limitation that you're creating in your mind. You can And I think
that one of the most important things about it, the physical aspect of climbing
the wall for me, is in order to you gotta keep moving. You
know what I'm saying. You gotta keep moving. In order to move up,
you gotta push yourselfa up. You gotta lift yourself up. Literally,
So if I'm looking for the next place to put my foot, I gotta
be lifting my foot up. But I gotta be pulling my body up too,
you know what I'm saying. And I gotta be grabbing for the next
rock. So you gotta take action. You gotta move, you know what
I'm saying. But when you move, everything else gotta rise too. Everything
else gotta rise too, everything else gotta elevate too. But one of the
hardest parts for me was letting go. So then it got to a point
where it was like, Okay, I can't go any higher, right,
because at that point I really needed the upper body strength. But and this
is the thing, the longer that I waited, the worst it got,
because maybe I could have tried to pull myself up, you know, but
I got it got to a point where I didn't want to try no more,
right, So I gave up on myself. I didn't even want to
try, you know. And on top of that, um, you know,
I was first of all, I was very impressed and very proud of
myself with what I did for it being my first time, I was super
impressed with myself. Um, But when I got to that one part.
It was one part where it was like you really got to use your upper
body straight to get it, like really pour yourself over and and I felt
like I didn't have it in me. And so now I'm sitting there because
I'm afraid to let go. Everybody is like, just let the go,
and you know what I'm saying, like the fall will be graceful if you
just let go. But I was so afraid to let go, and I
could feel all the emotions in my body, all of the emotions. I
felt, the anxiety, I felt the fear. I started getting hot,
my heart start beating fast because I wouldn't let go. All I had to
do was let go. First of all, you gotta harness on. So
it's really not the fear of the unknown. It ain't like, oh,
I don't know what's gonna happen, like nigga, let go and you gonna
you know what I'm saying, you go fall gracefully. You could kinda tap
your foot going down if you're depending on how you fall, it could you
know what I'm saying, The fall could be very easy, but you gotta
let go. I waited until my four arms gave out and but it was
such a relief when I let go, like seeing how easy it was to
just let go and you know, go down or whatever, but ultimately not
like let myself. I let myself fall to the ground, right, but
I went down on my back, and it was just it was such a
release, and I was like laughing and crying, like a little tears coming
out of my eyes, just because of like just that adrenaline of falling and
letting go. Like all you had to do was let go. All you
had to do was let go. The more that you hold onto stuff that
no longer serves you, that has ran its course in your life, you're
gonna cause all of that stuff that I was feeling, all of that anxiety,
that fear getting hot, you know what I'm saying, heartbeat. When
you hold onto shit that don't serve you, you're gonna delay the release.
You're gonna delay a release when you could just let it go and let the
universe do what it's gonna do and move on and go on to the next
part of your life. So all of that shit was just very mental for
me, Like it was definitely very much a mental exercise for me. And
also I was told to set an intention when I was climbing the wall,
like, what's one of your goals? What's something that you want to do?
And the more that I thought about it, again, the more that
you the more that you think about something that you want to manifest or whatever
whatever you see for yourself, think about it when you climbing the motherfucking wall,
like, oh bitch, I'm about to get to my motherfucking goals.
I'm about to do this. I'm about to accomplish you know what I'm saying.
Like it was just a different type of a different type of adrenaline,
a different type of power, a different type like it just puts something else
in me, like and I love that feeling. But the same applies in
your real life though. So no, you cannot be afraid of the unknown,
because look at how much you learn, look at how much you discover
in those moments when you step out and you take that chance, you take
that risk, you know, you do whatever it is that you want to
do, and then that shows you how powerful you are, and that builds
your confidence. So it was just it was a very beautiful lesson for me,
and I just thought that I would come on here and just share that
with y'all really quickly. I actually, like I said, I was sore
for two days and I feel a little bit. I'm still a little sore,
but I feel a lot better today and I want to do some yoga
today. It's Sunday, it's a chill day, and I definitely want to
move my body and just you know, get some movement in. It takes
some time to breathe. That's another thing, like, do y'all be breathing
in life because and baby, you need to breathe because you will experience some
crazy moments in life where it's like damn, I just need to take a
second and just fucking breathe. And that's the only way that you gonna get
through that ship is if you fucking breathe through it, hold your breath around
and die. You know what I'm saying. That's the only way. That's
the only way. And again, life is gonna put you in a lot
of uncomfortable situations and you have to be able to breathe through that shit and
come out on the other side, powerful as fuck, accomplished as fuck.
So yes that I just wanted to come on here really quick and just share
that with y'all. I'm about to get back to my Sunday, my Sunday
Funday to myself. You know what I'm saying, self care. Self care
is the way, okay, tuning into yourself, getting prepared for your week,
setting your goals, thinking about what you need to do, all of
that shit like, because I got somewhere I want to be. I got
somewhere I want to be, I got somewhere I need to be. I
got a whole motherfucking purpose to fulfill in this life. And it's not gonna
get done if you know, I'm being mindless and doing stuff, you know
what I'm saying, engaging the shit that's not getting me closer to my goals.
So yes, that's all that I want to come on here and share
with y'all. So I hope that y'all enjoy this. I hope y'all took
something from this. Make sure that you follow me on all platforms that healing
my homies, and that is all that I have for you. Ah, I'm out