WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:06.200 Imagine a world where all boys were reminded daily to be a leader and not 2 00:00:06.440 --> 00:00:11.880 a follower. Perhaps there would be less young men who would be vulnerable to 3 00:00:12.039 --> 00:00:18.800 group think, mischief, or just easily being led astray. Osborne Lawrence is 4 00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:24.519 one of the fortunate ones who has a dad who did just that. His 5 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:29.600 father's daily mandra during childhood rides to school, be a leader, not a 6 00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:35.679 follower has become a cornerstone of his approach to life. These words resonate with 7 00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:41.240 him as he navigates the complexities of college life, encouraging him to forge his 8 00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:47.679 own path and inspire others. Oz is not only excelling in his engineering studies, 9 00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:54.240 but also holds leadership roles in the Caribbean Student Association and Alpha Phi Alpha 10 00:00:54.240 --> 00:01:00.240 Fraternity, incorporating He shares how his mother, a beacon of empathy, taught 11 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:07.480 him the crucial skills of navigating his emotions and respecting other's opinions even in disagreement. 12 00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:14.200 He also fondly recalls his uncle's greeting respect to the greatest aspect, which 13 00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:19.959 continually reinforces his sense of self worth and ambition. While it is evident that 14 00:01:21.079 --> 00:01:26.280 his familial support system has been vital in his personal and academic development. He 15 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:34.040 is also fortunate enough to receive additional support from his chosen family of fraternity brothers. 16 00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:40.519 As credits the guidance of his high achieving fraternity brother Brian with providing him 17 00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:48.879 a blueprint for balancing academic success with a fulfilling college experience. Life can't just 18 00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:53.680 be about taking up your book from money. Sometimes you need a friend like 19 00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:57.120 Brian to remind you that you can do anything you put your mind to. 20 00:01:57.879 --> 00:02:04.719 As a story is sure to make you experience introspection, laugh, reminisce on 21 00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:09.879 the nuances of growing up Jamaica, and provide insight into the importance of men's 22 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:16.960 mental health. So grab your tea, coffee, or a glass of wine 23 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:28.960 and let's talk to Things. Hello everyone, Welcome to the Let's Talk the 24 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:35.599 Tings podcast, where we discuss personal growth, travel, music and wellness while 25 00:02:35.719 --> 00:02:40.599 encouraging you to live fearlessly and fabulously. I am your host, Ash and 26 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:46.360 this week we are Talking to Things with the internal operations Coordinator of the University 27 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:54.159 of Maryland's Caribbean Student Association and the secretary of the Iota Zeta chapter of Alpha 28 00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:59.520 Phi Alpha Fraternity, Osborne Lawrence, Hi, Oz, how are you? 29 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.719 How good? How are you? I am? Well, thank you. 30 00:03:02.919 --> 00:03:12.000 I'm sure your glad finals are done and you're free. Definitely, yeah, 31 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:15.080 And I appreciate the opportunity to be on here with you as well. Definitely 32 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:19.479 excited. Absolutely, I'm excited to have you. So, speaking of excitement, 33 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:22.599 you know, I like a little laughter, you know, just to 34 00:03:22.599 --> 00:03:27.759 break the ice. So when we have guests, I begin each episode with 35 00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:37.159 our listener's favorite segment, and it's called that Nason Safe. So for this 36 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:43.240 segment, I'm going to read messages or social media posts that listeners sent in, 37 00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:46.560 and if you think it sounds crazy or a bit concerning, you would 38 00:03:46.599 --> 00:03:52.800 respond that Nason safe and explain why. And if you agree, just say 39 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.560 you agree and explain why. Sounds good? Sounds good? All right? 40 00:03:57.080 --> 00:04:00.199 So the first person said, I took a girl on a date on my 41 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:05.360 motorcycle, but instead of riding up to the parkway, she kept asking me 42 00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:10.759 if we could just ride back and forth on the same road. Turns out 43 00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:15.800 she wasn't really interested in me. She just wanted to ride past her excess 44 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.839 house so he could see her on the back of my motorcycle with another guy, 45 00:04:20.040 --> 00:04:32.839 Oh no, that's definitely no sense of the girl gave him a six 46 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:39.079 for a nine. Right. Oh my gosh, I feel bad for Bro. 47 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:44.360 I mean she it makes me wonder, I guess want to ask you, 48 00:04:44.399 --> 00:04:48.600 as a man, how are you able to like navigate girls that are 49 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:54.199 really interested in you versus girls that might be using you for something where in 50 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:58.600 this case, like just to be seen. Right, Honestly, I really 51 00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:02.759 think it's really just trying all error. Like people in general, especially you 52 00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:06.000 know, if you're on the dating scene or whatever, I think you really 53 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:10.079 just have to give it a go and see how it is and try to 54 00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:14.279 feel the situation out, because you're never really gonna know until you really take 55 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:17.120 the time to get to know that person. So I think that that's where 56 00:05:17.160 --> 00:05:23.079 that vulnerability comes in to where you really just have to kind of not not 57 00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:26.319 like put down all your walls immediately, but you know, kind of try 58 00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:29.240 to open up so they can, because you can't expect someone to open up 59 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:31.720 if you don't do the same. That's kind of where that first step comes 60 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:34.759 in to kind of try to get to know them, and then that's when 61 00:05:34.759 --> 00:05:39.360 you can see like there's certain cues, you know, and I feel like 62 00:05:39.399 --> 00:05:42.879 that goes like men or women vice versas, Like there's certain cues you can 63 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:46.240 see where like Okay, that really wasn't genuine or that really didn't make sense, 64 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:49.759 you know, so right right, basically use your discernment, right, 65 00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:54.120 yeah, pretty much. Yeah, don't be blinded by the pretty looks, 66 00:05:54.160 --> 00:06:00.879 gentlemen, use your discernments exactly. Okay, So the next one, we 67 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:06.319 are the new adults, So everyone needs to start throwing cookouts instead of booking 68 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:13.759 sections in a club all the time. That's facts. Literally, I've heard 69 00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:15.199 so much on my friends tell me like, oh, I just don't mess 70 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:19.959 with the club scene, like it's really just crowded and hot and sticky, 71 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:28.040 and yes, cookouts, it's more of a personal family vibe. There's food. 72 00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:30.759 There might be some food at the club, but I'm not buying it. 73 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:36.439 So you know, the cookout always gonna have some good stuff, especially 74 00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:41.560 Caribbean cookout. That's real food. It's not gonna be hot dogs and burgers. 75 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:46.519 So yep, that's so true. And if you can't already tell ladies 76 00:06:46.519 --> 00:06:49.000 and gentlemen, we really care a lot about food on this podcast, because 77 00:06:49.879 --> 00:06:54.360 exactly why I came on here, right, No, that's so true, 78 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:58.879 and it's so like refreshing to hear you say that as a college student, 79 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:01.639 because when I was in school, like I felt like I was always a 80 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:05.839 weird one, Like I never wanted to go out anywhere. I would rather 81 00:07:05.959 --> 00:07:10.519 just stay in, you know, go to the library. Like I was 82 00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:14.639 very I was very I thought I was very odd, just because my thought 83 00:07:14.839 --> 00:07:18.199 was when we go out, it's not like when you go out in Jamaica, 84 00:07:18.279 --> 00:07:23.000 right, like where you have these open parties that are outside and like 85 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.439 you said, we have real food and there's music and you know, everyone's 86 00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:30.959 just having a good time. It's like everyone is crammed into this building and 87 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:32.279 like you said, people are sweaty. And then you know, when you're 88 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:35.519 a woman, you have this man that looked like Ninja Man trying to tap 89 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:39.079 you on the shoulder, and then you can't tell if you're upset that he 90 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:42.480 tapped you or the fact that he even thought he had a chance. It's 91 00:07:42.600 --> 00:07:46.920 just a lot, you know, no disrespect to Ninja Man, but you 92 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:55.319 know, not my time. Definitely, and definitely, like are you listening 93 00:07:55.319 --> 00:07:59.040 in Maryland, there's a big venue problem, Like we can't have functions anywhere 94 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:05.279 it's really like you have to go to DC or book out a big venue 95 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:09.720 space that's like twenty thirty minutes from campus. But I've seen I want to 96 00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:13.959 Philadelphia recently, they can just have block parties in someone backyard outside, and 97 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:18.360 I think that's the vibe you're talking about where it's really like, you know, 98 00:08:18.439 --> 00:08:20.319 you can't you don't see that down here, and it's kind of it's 99 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:24.160 just a fun spot. People just you know, having a good time. 100 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:28.759 Like the police aren't tripping until it gets to like three am. Like yeah, 101 00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:33.440 that that idea of doing cookoats over the club definitely so on safe for 102 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:37.279 sure. I agree with you. Second to last one, Amazon will really 103 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:43.360 send you a box the size of a Range drover just to deliver an iPhone 104 00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:46.200 charger. No, that's they do that all the time, and it's actually 105 00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:52.440 very misleading and annoying because it is yes, no, so unsafe. I'm 106 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:56.279 wondering, did somebody send me a gift? Oh, I'm gonna set me 107 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:05.320 a MacBook a bike whole time it's like some Capri sons and some juice that 108 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:11.039 I forgot I ordered. Oh my gosh, Yeah, Amazon, you're wasting 109 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:15.039 boxes. You have to do better. That can't. That can't be good 110 00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:16.679 for the environment. I don't know how, but it can't be good. 111 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:24.159 It can't. Okay. And the final one, this one is hilarious. 112 00:09:24.200 --> 00:09:35.360 I'm sorry, Okay, calling me your ex while I'm out here telling people 113 00:09:35.480 --> 00:09:41.279 I don't know you is crazy. That's in insanity. That's definitely not sound 114 00:09:41.320 --> 00:09:48.240 safe. Definitely not sound safe. And I can't understand, like if if 115 00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:52.879 someone, even if we were ex, if someone didn't want to claim me, 116 00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:56.639 why would I do the embarrassment of trying to claim them? Like that's 117 00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:01.799 crazy, that's crazy, Like you wouldn't have to worry about me claiming you 118 00:10:01.879 --> 00:10:07.480 that if that was exactly. So you're doing me a favor because I don't 119 00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:11.519 got to talk about none of that. That happened exactly exactly. That's a 120 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:18.000 straight up I'm sorry, who are you again? Oh my gosh? Hit 121 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:24.919 hilarious. Well that was fun, but no, it's time to talk the 122 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:31.000 things right. So, as you may already know, June is Caribbean American 123 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:37.200 Heritage Month and Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, so you get to celebrate like 124 00:10:37.240 --> 00:10:43.159 twice. So that's good, right, So first, I love for you 125 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:50.759 to share your favorite thing about being Caribbean American, I either have to say 126 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:56.639 either the food. Obviously, you know how to say this food. You 127 00:10:56.759 --> 00:11:03.879 love your belly knew it was going to say the food. But I think 128 00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:09.840 also like just our culture and like family vibe. I don't know if that 129 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:13.440 makes sense, but I think a little curban, especially Jamaica, like we're 130 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:18.200 taking a certain set of like mana is like to speak to everyone you know, 131 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:22.159 you know, at least hail them up. And I think it. 132 00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:24.840 I think it goes a long way. And I think that's one of my 133 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:28.120 like set values, like my parents taught me growing up, so you know, 134 00:11:28.399 --> 00:11:33.919 coming around here saying people would just be rude. Oh so I think 135 00:11:33.960 --> 00:11:37.639 that. I know that's very specific, but that's definitely one of the things 136 00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:41.960 that I value because I think it goes a long way at least to especially 137 00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:46.200 first impressions in general. Yes, yes, for sure, for sure, 138 00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:50.960 brought tops Okay, brought topsy, I know the word, but I love 139 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:56.519 it because no, I feel the same way. I feel like I've always 140 00:11:56.600 --> 00:12:01.559 felt that way, but of course as I've gotten older, I'm just like, 141 00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:05.399 wow, people really don't have manners like you can look me in my 142 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:09.360 face and not say good morning. When I'm from a culture where if you're 143 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:13.639 walking past the garbage man, you say morning. You know what I mean? 144 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:16.759 Like, I feel like neighbors all that. Yes, I feel like 145 00:12:16.759 --> 00:12:20.799 if someone's about to rob you, they're gonna say evening and then rob you, 146 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:24.720 Like you know what I mean. Like, it's just something that is 147 00:12:24.759 --> 00:12:30.039 embedded. So when you're surrounded by certain persons that don't subscribe to that, 148 00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:35.120 it can be very like strange to get used to me for sure, And 149 00:12:35.159 --> 00:12:37.879 I think it makes us like kind of why not want to reciprocate that energy 150 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:41.600 anymore? Yeah, And that's why I think things like the recipes lost through 151 00:12:41.639 --> 00:12:48.440 like generations. Yeah. Yeah, how do you think the I guess, 152 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:54.320 the fusion of your Jamaican cultural values and then like the American societal norms, 153 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:58.799 Like, how do you think that has shaped your identity, particularly in terms 154 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:07.039 of your approach to you know, family, education and community involvement. Mm 155 00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:13.080 hmmm. I honestly feel like, at least for me specifically, it has 156 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:18.320 like kind of equal on each side because obviously growing up like you know, 157 00:13:18.440 --> 00:13:24.639 things like commanders and how to conduct yourself properly and kind of like I don't 158 00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:28.559 want to say intrinsic values, but like more rale and stuff like that's definitely 159 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:33.799 come from like my parents Jamaica, how my family has raised me. Yeah, 160 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:39.519 but I think a lot of community stuff has also come from growing up 161 00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:45.639 in America, you know, Like, especially because I've growing up here, 162 00:13:45.720 --> 00:13:48.519 I've witnessed a lot of the issues here, like in person. So I 163 00:13:48.519 --> 00:13:52.759 think a lot of the community service values and things of that nature kind of 164 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:56.639 comes equally from that because I see those problems face on, and that kind 165 00:13:56.639 --> 00:14:00.919 of makes me like, Okay, these are things that to be addressed. 166 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:03.399 These are the people, the area groups that need to be helped, things 167 00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:07.360 of that nature. And not to say that, you know, I don't 168 00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:11.399 try to stay like updated on issues back home as well, but obviously you 169 00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:16.039 know, being in person and seeing things like face to face has a different 170 00:14:16.039 --> 00:14:18.919 impact on you as a person. No, that makes sense. That makes 171 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:24.519 sense. And when you think of like experiences that you've had, right, 172 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:30.120 So you've talked about like manners brought up sea, just what is expected of 173 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:33.639 you in certain environments, but then you go out into other environments that are 174 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:37.200 probably predominantly American and you don't see the same thing, right, So can 175 00:14:37.240 --> 00:14:45.919 you share maybe an experience where your Jamaican background provided like a distinct perspective or 176 00:14:46.279 --> 00:14:50.759 an advantage in an American setting, whether that's like socially or academically, like 177 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:56.200 your Jamaican upbringing was able to help see to help an American see sorry, 178 00:14:56.639 --> 00:15:01.799 you know, a different point of view. Even there's a lot of situations 179 00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:05.799 honestly, like I know everyone knows the same, like don't be a follower, 180 00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:09.799 be a leader and that My dad used to tell me that every single 181 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:13.080 day on the way to school. That's one of his main things. And 182 00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:18.159 I think that really stuck with me. And like being in situations like even 183 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:24.200 for example, in college, like being a part of student groups like you 184 00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:28.840 know, the fraternity and CSA, even like Society of Black Engineers, Like 185 00:15:28.840 --> 00:15:33.759 you're gonna be in groups where you know, not everyone has that same motivation 186 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.600 and either love for the org or even just initiative as a person to put 187 00:15:39.639 --> 00:15:43.399 forth that effort to make things happen. And I think that's where you have 188 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:46.279 to Even back in high school, you know, I used to play like 189 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:50.799 sports all year around, being on a soccer team. People were just lazy 190 00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:56.440 and it was a different type of you know if you have love for something. 191 00:15:56.200 --> 00:16:00.679 I feel like Caribbean people they not to say other people don't, but 192 00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:06.960 I think it's like we take it personally to either lose or kind of just 193 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:10.600 give up and say, you know whatever, right, Like, we take 194 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:12.399 that personally and that's like, and I feel like we have a lot of 195 00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:18.480 pride with things we do. So us letting other people win over us, 196 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:22.879 that's not gonna happen. So talk up, us, talk up. And 197 00:16:23.320 --> 00:16:26.440 I think I really used to have because you know, taking that pride thing 198 00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:30.240 that's me personally. So I used to have issues with people, especially like 199 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:34.600 on soccer back in the day, people like because I was team captain, 200 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:40.960 and it would just irk me to the soul. We lose a game and 201 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:47.279 you're over here playing with your toes talking about taco bell, like having fun. 202 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:52.000 We should be game planning the strategy for the next one. Like people 203 00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:56.960 are just very unserious. Yeah, I feel like I'm going on a tangent 204 00:16:56.039 --> 00:16:59.559 here. No you're not, You're not. This is perfect. You know 205 00:16:59.639 --> 00:17:03.840 why? Because I always tell one of my cousins, I feel like I 206 00:17:03.960 --> 00:17:07.599 was born an adults. And what I mean by that is like you said, 207 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:10.359 oh, your dad is telling you this all you know every day on 208 00:17:10.400 --> 00:17:15.559 the way to school. I feel like Jamaican parents talk in proverbs, right, 209 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:19.240 They're always telling you these things you know, how not to be and 210 00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:23.839 make sure you always pray. And you know what you said, we have 211 00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:30.359 something in us because we're constantly told these positive things. And granted we can't 212 00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:33.880 speak for the whole country. You know everyone has had that experience, but 213 00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:37.680 most of us by somebody, whether it's parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, 214 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:42.640 whoever you're you're constantly told something to kind of push you, and so 215 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:47.880 you have this thing in you that's like, you can't tell me who I 216 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:49.759 can and can't be. If I want to feel that way, that's me. 217 00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:53.480 But you cannot tell me what I can and can't achieve, or you 218 00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:57.839 cannot, you know, make me feel bad about myself because that's how you 219 00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:02.799 feel about yourself, you know what I mean. It's an important thing to 220 00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:06.319 talk about for sure, and I think it makes us not afraid to like 221 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:11.640 stand out and do our own thing in that same manner because you know, 222 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:14.720 like I said, we're prideful. So we're going to stand a hard idea 223 00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:18.000 and go with it if we think it's right, absolutely, absolutely. And 224 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:22.720 it's funny because you know, other people that are from other countries will say, 225 00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:26.480 oh, you know, Jamaicans think they're all that and they're the best. 226 00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:34.000 I mean yeah, But but for some of us, I can't. 227 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:37.680 Again, I'm not speaking for the entire island, but for some of us, 228 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:41.559 it's just what is ingrained in us. It's not from an arrogant place, 229 00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:45.279 but it's from a place of if you're going to sweep, sweep the 230 00:18:45.319 --> 00:18:48.960 best you can sweep, if you're going to clean your room, clean your 231 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:51.559 room the best you can clean your room, you know, And for me, 232 00:18:52.359 --> 00:18:56.880 that's not teaching arrogance, that's just strengthening you, especially as a woman. 233 00:18:56.200 --> 00:19:00.480 So no bohy can come and tell me, you know, I mean 234 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:04.119 like what I'm not, or bring down myself esteem or anyone, because I 235 00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:07.839 was raised with a mother and a father that constantly, still to this day 236 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:11.599 pour into me and remind me of who I am and whole great I am. 237 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:15.400 And I think that is just like so important. But the downside is 238 00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:18.720 back to my saying, you feel like you were a born adult because you're 239 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:22.880 very serious and everyone's just looking at you like man, relax, like we're 240 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:26.960 in high school. Like, it's just it's so funny, you said, 241 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:29.359 if you were always like, oh, why are you so serious? Light 242 00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:34.000 have some fun? Even today at each function, I'd be so stressed trying 243 00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:38.000 to mixer everything's good. You have to learn how to enjoy yourself at the 244 00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:42.279 same time. Yeah, no, And you know what, it took me 245 00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:47.599 a very long time. But I will say in retrospect, they are right. 246 00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.519 But I think there's a balance, right, because you don't want to 247 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:55.000 lose yourself, and you don't want to be so far laid back that you 248 00:19:55.079 --> 00:19:57.759 become a recliner, right, Like, you don't want to be completely just 249 00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:03.680 oblivious to the serious of life. But you have to learn how to balance 250 00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:07.119 because what ends up happening is you look back and you're like me. And 251 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:11.000 I said this before on a previous episode, where I'm like, you know, 252 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:14.200 I really did study a lot, and I really did have a good 253 00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:17.000 time in college. But maybe I could have gone to like one or two 254 00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:18.839 parties. Maybe I didn't have to, you know, lie and say I'm 255 00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:22.960 not coming or I'm coming, and then go home and drink tea. Maybe 256 00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:25.039 I don't have to be so boring, you know what, I mean, 257 00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:27.440 like maybe I could have been like a little bit more fun, you know 258 00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:33.039 what I mean. So I think that's good that you're learning that now because 259 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:36.960 you now have the wherewithal to say, all right, you know what, 260 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:40.799 there's a time to be serious and there's a time to have fun, because 261 00:20:40.839 --> 00:20:44.279 ultimately, I'm sure you want to have fun, but you just know that 262 00:20:44.839 --> 00:20:48.119 you have certain goals you have to achieve and you can't do that if you're 263 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.920 having fun like ninety percent of the time. Yeah, exactly, exactly. 264 00:20:55.920 --> 00:21:00.039 Okay, So onto more of like the mental health health aspect, right, 265 00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:04.240 particularly when it comes to men, because as we know, it's something that's 266 00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:10.000 kind of like new, particularly in our culture, you know, talking about 267 00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:14.680 feelings and things like that. And I said previously that we've had men on 268 00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:18.880 this podcast that have talked about the fact that not only when you're a man, 269 00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:22.839 not only when you're a black man, but particularly when you're a Jamaican 270 00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:26.359 man, you just feel like you can't have any emotions, like your back 271 00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:30.160 has to be broad and tough, and you know that's not realistic, you 272 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:34.519 know what I mean. You know, what would you say, are maybe 273 00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:41.799 some strategies that you've found to be effective in managing the stresses of college life, 274 00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:45.839 particularly as a male student that has, as you said, that has 275 00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:51.640 to balance academic responsibilities, social life, and obviously your personal well being. 276 00:21:53.319 --> 00:21:57.359 Yeah, I will profess proface by saying, like, I'm definitely not the 277 00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:03.839 best of it at all, very much learning. I feel like that learning 278 00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:08.200 journey kind of honestly started in college because before I was very much on that 279 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:11.720 you know, you just got to get through it is what it is like 280 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:17.240 Type B. Especially like my father definitely has that mindset, and you know, 281 00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:21.319 I feel like young boys growing up, you always try in some way, 282 00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:26.720 you try to, like like you see your father as some type of 283 00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:30.000 role model, so you definitely try to, you know, exhibit those type 284 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:33.960 of qualities. But coming into college, I think the biggest thing for me 285 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:38.839 is trying to learn how to actually like talk about my issues because I'm very 286 00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:44.200 much a person that's like I don't want to say I'm closed off, but 287 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.599 I'll open up, but like not everyone needs to know my business, and 288 00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:53.200 I feel like I do take that to an extreme that it shouldn't be as 289 00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:56.920 much as I do. But that's definitely something I've had to work on, 290 00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:00.240 Like actually Okay, like I know I can trust this person, I can 291 00:23:00.279 --> 00:23:04.759 talk to them about like how I'm actually feeling. And even on that end, 292 00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:10.680 I have to push myself to actually talk about it at like another end 293 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:15.960 because I'm very much like you know, like, yeah, I have this 294 00:23:15.079 --> 00:23:18.039 issue, but I'll get over in the week. It's fine. But I 295 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:22.519 found that it helps to actually because then you get other perspectives from people, 296 00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:26.279 and that'll help you sort out the issues you're having quicker, and at the 297 00:23:26.359 --> 00:23:30.200 very least, it'll give you some type of closure where at least if you 298 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:33.440 talk to the right person, they've also felt this way before, they're feeling 299 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:38.640 this way right now. Especially as like engineering students, I feel like a 300 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:41.599 lot of us have the same you know, we're all taking the same classes, 301 00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:45.240 we all have the same struggle, like we're just burnt out, like 302 00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:49.680 so much going on, we don't have time for anything. So yeah, 303 00:23:49.720 --> 00:23:56.519 I think that communication aspect is definitely the first step into trying to you know, 304 00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.759 just calm your mental having some free space to stop, to take a 305 00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.119 step back from everything. No, definitely, And I'm here laughing when you 306 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:08.960 said about trusting people, because again, you are not alone. We are 307 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:11.720 all taught in some way. I mean, if you even think about the 308 00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:17.519 music that we listen to or you know, reggae nance hall, every second 309 00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:22.839 you're hearing don't trust people. You know, a man that you may know 310 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:26.759 once said, may not trust people, may not even trust vehicle. You 311 00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:32.640 know. So that that is something that I think is ingrained in us. 312 00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:37.519 And that goes back to discernment, right, because you don't want to keep 313 00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:41.279 everything inside, but you said something key. You want to tell the right 314 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:45.119 person, and by the right person, that's someone that has shown you that 315 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:47.759 you can trust them. You don't just want to, you know, tell 316 00:24:47.799 --> 00:24:52.480 your business to someone because they sit next to you in class, or because 317 00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:55.759 they are smart, so you figure they're not going to say anything. You 318 00:24:55.759 --> 00:25:00.119 know, when you say anything to anyone, my parents always taught me you 319 00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:03.359 have to have the understanding that there is a chance it will get back out 320 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.160 right, because it's no longer in your mind. You've now put it out 321 00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:11.200 into the world. Right. But as you said, we have to find 322 00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:15.359 those group of persons that we can trust, especially you being a man, 323 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.519 because a lot of men think like, oh, you described you know, 324 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:22.960 I'll be fine or I'll get through it, and you know you even saying 325 00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:26.119 that you possibly learn that from your father. That makes sense because that's a 326 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:30.799 generation where therapy, what do you mean therapy? What's like great? Like 327 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:33.880 what are you talking about? You know what I mean? Like that's beyond 328 00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:41.240 their comprehension, right, because they didn't have those outlets, and that's not 329 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:45.359 something that was really championed or in some cases even still is championed in our 330 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:48.400 culture. You know, like we're getting better for sure, like one hundred 331 00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:52.640 percent, we're getting better. But I think that's good that you recognize that. 332 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:57.720 And you meet people of like so many different backgrounds, right, and 333 00:25:57.759 --> 00:26:03.160 you're all here at this place, but you don't know people's family life, 334 00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:07.640 right, or people's journey or the examples that they've had. So what do 335 00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:11.359 you say to maybe young men listening, whether they're in college or not, 336 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:15.599 that maybe didn't have the best example for a father, and you know, 337 00:26:15.640 --> 00:26:19.279 they're trying to be better or they're trying to do things better to where they're 338 00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:25.960 taking care of their personal wellbeing and they're trying to succeed academically. I'd say, 339 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:30.359 well, I feel like the most primary option like is to have a 340 00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:34.319 mental work. And I feel like there's a lot of resources out there that 341 00:26:34.359 --> 00:26:40.039 people don't know that you can not to say you can get a mental very 342 00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:44.880 easily, but there's programs out there wherever you live where you can sign up, 343 00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:48.440 you know, apply things of that nature. And that's really that type 344 00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:52.880 of older man perspective that I think a lot of people will need to, 345 00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:57.519 whether it's career wise, just dealing with life, dealing with women, you 346 00:26:57.559 --> 00:27:02.400 know, getting that perspective from a man's perspective instead of like your mom or 347 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:07.359 some things of that sort. You know. But obviously mentorship isn't you know, 348 00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:14.200 available to everyone. So if that's not the case, honestly, I'd 349 00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:19.039 say, you kind of just have to You have to find it somewhere. 350 00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:23.319 And if you don't have it within yourself, then either find it in a 351 00:27:23.559 --> 00:27:29.319 community. In your community, like some of your peers are. You know, 352 00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:32.359 they might be smaller than you, but there are ten years down the 353 00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:37.359 line already thinking. So regardless of whether you can find that elderly mentor whether 354 00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:41.519 it's a peer mentor I feel like there's someone in your community you can reach 355 00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:45.559 out to that can you know, kind of give you that other perspective from 356 00:27:45.559 --> 00:27:49.599 a male perspective that you need to really talk about these issues and at the 357 00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:53.480 very least if they don't have that, you know, advanced knowledge, they 358 00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:56.880 can at least relate to you. Right. No, that makes perfect sense, 359 00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:00.000 and speaking of that, that's a good stay way, you know, 360 00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:04.160 just having that community and like he said, building that community and building a 361 00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:08.359 brotherhood if you will, you are a part. I mentioned it in the 362 00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:15.519 introduction, but you are a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity. And you 363 00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:19.039 know, I had mutokofa as you know, on here, and I got 364 00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:23.119 a lot of feedback from persons, you know, agreeing with what he said 365 00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:29.039 about his experience or the impact that Alpha has had on his life, especially 366 00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:33.440 being someone that is of Guyanese and South African descent and not growing up seeing 367 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:37.440 you know, his dad being a part of something like that. So he 368 00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:40.559 had to kind of go find his way and figure out like what is this 369 00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:45.359 about, and you know, kind of get that information. And I wondered 370 00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:48.079 if you could kind of tell your story on how you came to know about 371 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:53.480 the fraternity and what significant impact that it has had on you just joining that 372 00:28:53.559 --> 00:29:02.319 brotherhood. Honestly, like coming to college, I really knew nothing about even 373 00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:07.240 fraternities and Greek life in general. So to be honest, it was more 374 00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:11.960 me in my exploration phase of college, thinging like, Okay, I have 375 00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:17.359 to get involved somehow besides the Caribbean Student Association, so I have to do 376 00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:21.319 something else, like to really get myself out there, find that network for 377 00:29:21.400 --> 00:29:25.839 me that I can help but also help me. And I've also always had 378 00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:30.079 I've had, I always had a love for community service when it comes to 379 00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:33.839 like my people. Not to be like biased or anything, but I think 380 00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:37.759 that's my niche of trying to uplift like my brothers and sisters. You know, 381 00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:41.880 that's something that I have passion and whether it's Caribbean or just like you 382 00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:47.799 know, in these communities. So coming across some of my friends, they're 383 00:29:47.799 --> 00:29:49.400 like, you know, they have these on campus, Like if you're looking 384 00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:52.000 into stuff, you should, you know, look into it, do your 385 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:56.920 research. And I did, and I feel like I resonated with a lot 386 00:29:56.920 --> 00:30:00.359 of the values, whether it was like academic, the community service portion I 387 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:04.799 talked about, and even seeing the brothers that were in the yard at the 388 00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:08.400 time, I feel like I resonated with them as well, Like they were 389 00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:15.039 all in leadership positions, but A big thing for me for leadership is like 390 00:30:15.400 --> 00:30:19.160 leading by example and by what you do, not by like you know, 391 00:30:19.359 --> 00:30:25.400 big speeches or words or like doing a lot. I feel like the simple 392 00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:29.920 thing of just doing what you say goes a long way, and that's something 393 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.680 I've always wanted to exhibit myself as a leader. So I think that's why 394 00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:41.119 I chose off of Besides, like other fraternities, that makes perfect sense. 395 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:45.000 And how would you say that that sense of brotherhood that you described within the 396 00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:51.039 organization, like once you became a part of it, how has that contributed 397 00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:55.359 do you think to your mental well being? And what aspects of the bonds 398 00:30:55.359 --> 00:31:00.880 that you formed do you think have maybe just helped your mental health? It 399 00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:06.519 definitely has. Like just having a network of black men that you know, 400 00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:10.920 you have your peers around you because we're all around the same year. Just 401 00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:15.680 having that openly available at always to either like you know, someone to talk 402 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.640 to, or even them to come talk to me, like being one of 403 00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:22.720 their older profits. Having that bond is something that's really important and it just 404 00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:26.880 gives you at least like even if you don't talk about things in the back 405 00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:30.519 of mind, you know that there's someone there for you if there isn't. 406 00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:36.000 And even having that older network is something I think that's very unique because I 407 00:31:36.039 --> 00:31:40.599 can talk to people that graduated twenty eighteen, the year two thousand, two 408 00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:45.160 thousand and four, like when Muto crossed, and even before that, like 409 00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:49.000 one of my profits from that crossed in ninety five. He still checks on 410 00:31:49.079 --> 00:31:52.400 me all the time, like, bro, how are you doing, how 411 00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:56.839 your grade is looking, things of that nature, And I think just having 412 00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:00.880 that they're available, even if you don't take advantage of it, it's something 413 00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:02.920 that's really important to like, Okay, I have people that I can lean 414 00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:07.240 on and lean back on, you know if I need something, and that 415 00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:09.039 kind of you know, it gives you that ease of mind. And also 416 00:32:09.319 --> 00:32:14.400 you know, some like stability, you know, because you know you have 417 00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:17.880 something there absolutely and you have you know, like you said, men that 418 00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:22.519 you can lean on and that you know, you know for sure have been 419 00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:24.680 in your shoes in one way or another, right because they all had to 420 00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:30.400 go to school and graduate and you know, they know what it's like to 421 00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:34.559 be on campus and have all these responsibilities. So it's not like when you 422 00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:37.200 probably go to your friends that maybe aren't in college or maybe they're not part 423 00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:42.799 of a fraternity, or maybe they're just they're just at college for the vibes, 424 00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:46.680 you know, like they don't really understand like juggling everything. I think 425 00:32:46.680 --> 00:32:50.400 it's good that you have a group of men you can go to and kind 426 00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:54.599 of have those conversations with. So that's awesome. Speaking of that, can 427 00:32:54.680 --> 00:33:01.960 you share one alpha that has had a major impact on you and maybe like 428 00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:07.680 just share an example or like a personal experience that you've had with one of 429 00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:12.759 your fraternity brothers that has really had an impact on who you are as a 430 00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:22.359 person. Hm hmmm. I think I'd have to say, honestly, I 431 00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.680 think the one person that comes to mind. There's multiple, don't get me 432 00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:28.279 wrong, Yeah, but one of the biggest people that goes to mind is 433 00:33:28.319 --> 00:33:31.799 a brother, Brian Quinnan. He crossed fall twenty two and he graduated last 434 00:33:31.799 --> 00:33:37.480 spring. I think definitely he's definitely one of the people that you know, 435 00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:42.079 checks up on me and someone I can openly talk to. But I think 436 00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:45.279 the reason why I feel like I have such a good bond with him is 437 00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:49.079 because we relate on a lot of things, and I think one of those 438 00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:53.839 biggest things is that initiative I was telling you about like when that man, 439 00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:58.640 like when he was in college, he did everything. He was that man. 440 00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:02.839 He was like he was a you know, bio pre med major and 441 00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:07.800 he was in society of Black Engineers on the national level. Like that doesn't 442 00:34:07.800 --> 00:34:12.480 even make sense, right, Yeah, but he was just doing everything. 443 00:34:12.559 --> 00:34:15.760 And not to like brag for him or anything, but he's definitely someone I 444 00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:19.679 look up to in that regard, Like, you know, if I really 445 00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:22.599 set my mind to it, whatever how much programs I'm in and things of 446 00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:25.880 that nature, I can do it. And he literally he's one of those 447 00:34:25.880 --> 00:34:30.159 people that stands on what they say every time because people will ask him, 448 00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:32.840 oh, how'd you do all that stuff? And he'll give you the game 449 00:34:32.880 --> 00:34:37.480 plan. He's not gatekeeping, like he'll say, I did this, there's 450 00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:39.519 the four point zero plan. My grades was straight. I did this. 451 00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:44.719 And it's not even just with school, it's with everything he has. He 452 00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:50.800 plans things out meticulously and he does them and he makes it like when you 453 00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:53.360 talk to him, like he makes it seem so simple, like I don't 454 00:34:53.360 --> 00:34:57.239 know what's so crazy about it, Like I just did what I said. 455 00:34:57.719 --> 00:35:00.960 But that's definitely something that I'm like, Okay, if he can do it, 456 00:35:01.079 --> 00:35:04.679 I can do it too, you feel me. That's amazing. I 457 00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:08.320 mean on so many levels. One that you have somebody like that that you 458 00:35:08.360 --> 00:35:13.320 can look to, and two that he's so willing and open to, like 459 00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:15.920 you said, give you the exact game plan, like he's not trying to 460 00:35:15.960 --> 00:35:19.840 beat around the bush or you know, I think in a lot of our 461 00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:22.599 communities, just as black people as a whole, sometimes there can be this 462 00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:27.280 idea that you know, I suffered or I went through this, so you 463 00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:30.719 have to do it too, you know. And I think that there's a 464 00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:37.840 delicate balance with that because you don't want to do things for people because then 465 00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:42.320 you know, you don't learn And I could insert the teach a man how 466 00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.880 to fish proverb right here, but I won't. You know, you want 467 00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:51.119 to help people, but you don't want to like give them exactly what they 468 00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:53.360 need, right because they have to like figure it out for themselves. But 469 00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:59.519 the fact that he's showing you what he did, right, but you know 470 00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:01.400 that you have to do it your way because you're not him. You're never 471 00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:05.880 going to meet him on any circumstance. Right, There's one him and there's 472 00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:10.239 one you. So I think that's still beneficial because you know that you can 473 00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:14.199 one. You know you can achieve it because you know somebody that you're very 474 00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:16.559 close to and has a lot of similarities, you know, as far as 475 00:36:16.599 --> 00:36:21.480 in your behavior and how you both are. You know that if he can 476 00:36:21.519 --> 00:36:23.760 do it, then you can do it. Right. But it's also helpful 477 00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:29.280 because no, you have an idea of like what is even possible. Maybe 478 00:36:29.320 --> 00:36:32.000 you didn't even think half of these things on this list he's given you would 479 00:36:32.039 --> 00:36:37.880 be possible, but you know, like the outcome you know exactly. I 480 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.800 think that makes a really big difference. And I think that you just talking 481 00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:46.480 about, you know, being part of an organization that you know, let's 482 00:36:46.519 --> 00:36:51.159 face it, when people, especially Caribbean people that as you said, are 483 00:36:51.159 --> 00:36:55.159 coming to school and they probably don't know firsthand anything about fraternities or sororities, 484 00:36:55.239 --> 00:36:59.960 right, they're thinking like party or you know what we see in the move 485 00:37:00.039 --> 00:37:02.719 movies like Get the Girls, you know, stuff like that. And I'm 486 00:37:02.800 --> 00:37:09.079 not saying you guys don't partake in those things, but but you know, 487 00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:15.719 I think it's important that your focus is really like why you're there, what 488 00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:19.320 you're there to achieve? You know, you guys have fun and you do 489 00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:22.000 all this stuff. But I can't remember the saying you guys always say, 490 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:30.159 but basically you graduate, right, yeah, you know that's what's important because 491 00:37:30.199 --> 00:37:31.599 you come to school. We talked about balance earlier, right, like, 492 00:37:31.639 --> 00:37:35.320 you come to school to have fun and have all those good memories. But 493 00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:38.719 if you're leaving school with a one point two and you can't get a job, 494 00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:43.920 none of that matters, you know what I mean. And it goes 495 00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:46.840 back to what you said, your dad said on those mornings in the car. 496 00:37:47.159 --> 00:37:52.480 You know, make sure you be yourself and make sure that you focus 497 00:37:52.519 --> 00:37:54.559 on the things that are important because a lot of times, and my parents 498 00:37:54.639 --> 00:37:59.400 used to tell me this, those same people you see partying, they're going 499 00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:01.800 home and they're still right, they're going to come to you and be like, 500 00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:05.800 oh, I don't know how I got one hundred percent. That's crazy. 501 00:38:05.840 --> 00:38:07.800 I don't know how I did it. But you don't see that they're 502 00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:10.760 at home studying, they have flash cards, they're doing all of that. 503 00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:15.639 So you don't want to look at somebody and say, oh, I'm going 504 00:38:15.719 --> 00:38:19.280 to be like John. And you know John's at every party and he never 505 00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:22.199 studies and he gets all a's John is studying. I'm here to tell you 506 00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:29.440 John a study, right, but a lot of straight back to it really 507 00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:32.639 does prepare you for life because in life you don't know what's going to come 508 00:38:32.679 --> 00:38:36.559 at you. I mean, what you can that can happen in college too, 509 00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:38.280 of course, but obviously as you get older, as you take on 510 00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:43.000 more responsibilities, you have to be able to balance. And don't get me 511 00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:45.360 wrong, we all have moments where you know, we're just like, oh 512 00:38:45.400 --> 00:38:49.360 my gosh, I need a break, or like everything is happening at once, 513 00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.800 or this is overwhelming. That can happen at any age. I don't 514 00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:57.159 subscribe to the idea that you know, some of us would have heard our 515 00:38:57.280 --> 00:39:00.400 Caribbean parents say, oh, you think you have problem. You don't have 516 00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:04.280 any problems. You're in college and you're in this. No, like everybody 517 00:39:04.840 --> 00:39:07.880 has their own issues, whatever that may be, you know, But it's 518 00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:14.039 really I think these types of conversations are really helpful, not just talking about 519 00:39:14.039 --> 00:39:19.360 mental health in general, but you know, adding those nuances or intersections of 520 00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:23.000 being Caribbean, you know, and what that means, because you kind of 521 00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:27.119 have to switch when you come out of your house, right, because as 522 00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:30.880 you said, everybody doesn't have those same values, and if you don't adapt, 523 00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:34.199 you're going to walk around being offended all the time, right, Right, 524 00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:39.719 And I think it's really important that these conversations continue to happen and people 525 00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:45.360 just see that there's more to college than just books all the time. Right. 526 00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:49.719 But you can get other experiences, you know, whether it's in CSA 527 00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:53.320 like you said, or being a part of Alpha. And finally, I 528 00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:59.000 wanted to ask you being a part of CSA, like, what is your 529 00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:05.000 favorite part with them? Right, because you're exposed to all Caribbean islands that 530 00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:08.119 maybe you weren't exposed to how they do things, you know, just being 531 00:40:08.199 --> 00:40:15.440 Jamaica. Yeah, listen, it is twenty twenty four and this year we 532 00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:22.599 are decreasing overwhelm and increasing productivity, which is why I use Audible to listen 533 00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:25.800 to my favorite books when I'm on the goal. To help you start your 534 00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:32.480 audiobook journey, we have partnered with Audible to offer our listeners a free thirty 535 00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:38.679 day trial, So don't just take my word for it. Visit audibletrial dot 536 00:40:38.719 --> 00:40:46.960 com Backslash Ltdt to start your free trial today. Now I've literally learned so 537 00:40:47.159 --> 00:40:55.079 much because like even my freshman year we were the minority, like Jamaicans were 538 00:40:55.119 --> 00:41:01.239 the minority. There's a lot of Guyanese people of March Triny people. We 539 00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:05.599 switched the side. We switch the ties now okay, you know, you 540 00:41:05.719 --> 00:41:09.079 know you had to, but you know, even learning so much about that, 541 00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:14.360 like so much Soca music and kind of learning the history of Dad, 542 00:41:14.519 --> 00:41:20.880 learning more about you know, Juveni and Carnival historically and today. Like before 543 00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:23.400 coming to college, the only Carnival I knew was Baltimore, Washington, you 544 00:41:23.480 --> 00:41:29.920 know, and the one in Jamaica. So please do here today, please 545 00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:35.239 for real? Was like because I never been to I've been to. Yeah, 546 00:41:35.480 --> 00:41:39.559 I never had the chance to go to Jamaica Carnival. Yeah that was 547 00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:45.639 the only one we went every year. Yeah, but that's hilarious. But 548 00:41:45.280 --> 00:41:50.559 you know, learning about like Spice Mass and training, Carnival and all these 549 00:41:50.599 --> 00:41:53.239 different artists and even besides music, you know, like the food, their 550 00:41:53.320 --> 00:41:58.079 culture kind of you know, the differences, but how we're all very similar 551 00:41:58.159 --> 00:42:04.119 in the way even the demographics you know too, like you know there's Indo 552 00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:08.039 Caribbean, Latin Caribbean, you know, and like we're all a big one 553 00:42:08.079 --> 00:42:13.719 family. And going into other part of your question, like the most part 554 00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:19.119 I enjoy. It's really that family community aspect. Like this year specifically, 555 00:42:19.199 --> 00:42:23.039 I tried to well not tried. I rebuilt the cabinet program, you know, 556 00:42:23.159 --> 00:42:27.239 like our extension of eboard where you like, you know, it's not 557 00:42:27.360 --> 00:42:30.960 as much responsibility, but you still give them an opportunity to like bring their 558 00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:36.320 ideas and support the org. And that's what I talk about, like like 559 00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:38.320 you told me too, like being Jamaican, like we stand on what we 560 00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:42.639 say, Like coming in when I saw a cabinet, I seen that That's 561 00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:45.280 the part I knew I wanted to fix, right So coming into this year 562 00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:51.599 already had the game plan set of how to you know, actually make connections. 563 00:42:51.880 --> 00:42:54.000 And I feel like, you know, if you ask anyone on cabinet, 564 00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:59.239 I've done the due diligence of making that personal connection, even if it's 565 00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:02.280 not as much as others, to make them feel welcome. And I think 566 00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:07.159 that's the most important thing when kind of trying to bring people into an organization, 567 00:43:07.239 --> 00:43:12.400 it's really those making the effort to talk to them, actually get to 568 00:43:12.440 --> 00:43:15.719 know them. And I feel like that's the part that I enjoy too. 569 00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:20.400 I enjoy you know, helping spread our culture whether they're you know, Caribbean 570 00:43:20.519 --> 00:43:27.000 or even not even they're from another nationality. So uh, that's definitely the 571 00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:31.159 part I enjoy most kind of creating, because even the growth was crazy, 572 00:43:31.199 --> 00:43:34.599 Like at the be ending of the year, I had to fight tooth and 573 00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:37.920 nail just to get someone to respond in the group chat, sending out random 574 00:43:37.960 --> 00:43:40.840 stuff like how is y'all day, how is y'all studies? You know, 575 00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:45.920 no response coming into Now they have their own group chat games, they're going 576 00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:51.679 on side missions, getting seafood boils together, like all of them are like 577 00:43:51.960 --> 00:44:00.440 close friends now. And it's honestly a beautiful thing to see wa that, 578 00:44:01.199 --> 00:44:05.519 but like it generally makes me happy, like seeing the growth of the org 579 00:44:05.599 --> 00:44:08.119 over this year and more, like I love that. And that's it's really 580 00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:13.280 important what you said. You know, being personable matters, and I think 581 00:44:13.360 --> 00:44:16.719 that that's something that you can't fake. I think unfortunately, we live in 582 00:44:16.760 --> 00:44:24.440 a generation where you know, people think if they post quotes on Instagram or 583 00:44:24.960 --> 00:44:30.360 you know, they're one way in public, but they're a complete monstrosity you 584 00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:34.079 know, to people, or they're rude to waiters, or you know, 585 00:44:34.199 --> 00:44:37.000 they just they're not being their true selves. People can see that, and 586 00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:42.719 I think it's a testament to who you are that people feel welcomed by you 587 00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:45.440 reaching out to them or putting yourself out there, right, because there's a 588 00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:49.079 difference between somebody that's going around like a politician saying, oh, you know, 589 00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:52.800 welcome, you should come to our meetings, like you can feel that 590 00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:57.079 that's just a person trying to whatever it is, get the numbers up or 591 00:44:57.559 --> 00:45:01.079 get more people for a fundraiser, versus one that's genuinely caring, you know, 592 00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:05.679 like you said, sending out messages being left on red Sure, no 593 00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:09.760 problem, you know, but but no, they're doing their own thing because 594 00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:15.639 they probably see or I'm sure they see not probably that you're you're being genuine 595 00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:19.920 in your want to have everybody kind of come together, you know. But 596 00:45:20.199 --> 00:45:23.000 I also do want to say, like for people listening, like I'm not 597 00:45:23.239 --> 00:45:27.480 like all that effort I put in, I'm not an ultrovert at all. 598 00:45:28.039 --> 00:45:30.079 Like like I told you before, I don't like talking that much. Like, 599 00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:32.559 yeah, I don't want people to think, like you know, you 600 00:45:32.719 --> 00:45:38.280 have to be that outgoing person that you know has high energy, Like it's 601 00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:42.800 really a like like you said, some people have and some people don't, 602 00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:45.440 but it's also an everything at the same time, like you have to be 603 00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:49.440 willing to get out your comfort zone to achieve that goal. No, definitely, 604 00:45:49.719 --> 00:45:52.599 And I just want to say one thing. You know, I kind 605 00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:55.159 of giggled when you said I don't like talking that much, because one that 606 00:45:55.239 --> 00:46:00.639 shows you that Os likes his big sister, because he's I'm here talking to 607 00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:05.599 Tings, although I don't like to talk too much. But it's also something 608 00:46:05.679 --> 00:46:08.000 that I know I used to say all the time, right, and here 609 00:46:08.039 --> 00:46:10.920 I am with my own show call less talk the things. And let me 610 00:46:10.920 --> 00:46:16.079 tell you what I realized, Right, It's not that I don't like talking. 611 00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:24.519 It's that I don't like talking to people I either don't trust or I 612 00:46:24.599 --> 00:46:30.639 don't think really has like my best interest in mind. So for example, 613 00:46:31.119 --> 00:46:35.880 I am not a person so I am. I am an introvert. And 614 00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:39.360 people will laugh at that because I'm very silly, as you know, but 615 00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:44.719 that's once I get to know you, right, I'm an introvert in that 616 00:46:45.639 --> 00:46:47.360 we can talk and we can joke, and you know, we can laugh 617 00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:50.960 and da da dah, and then five minutes are gonna pass and you're gonna 618 00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:53.519 be like, where's ash and I'm traveling down ninety five like it's too much, 619 00:46:53.559 --> 00:46:55.800 like I need to leave this. But that's me, right, Like 620 00:46:57.400 --> 00:47:01.360 everybody knows I disappear, Like you can call me David Copperfield because I am 621 00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:08.360 gone, right, And what I realized is extroverts they get energy from being 622 00:47:08.400 --> 00:47:13.480 around people. That's how they get energy, right, Whereas introverts we can 623 00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:15.760 be the life of the party, but then we have to like recluse, 624 00:47:16.039 --> 00:47:21.559 you know, like we need a moment. Right. So I think when 625 00:47:21.599 --> 00:47:24.440 I hear you talk about even in this session, right, I hear you 626 00:47:24.480 --> 00:47:28.840 talk about things you're passionate about, and I know, if I was just 627 00:47:28.880 --> 00:47:30.840 to be quiet, you can talk about it all day. But I think 628 00:47:30.920 --> 00:47:36.599 what you are, what you're really communicating, and maybe you should say to 629 00:47:36.639 --> 00:47:39.960 yourself, is that you don't like to talk about small things, Like you 630 00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.599 don't want to talk about people's business. You don't want to talk about you 631 00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:47.159 know, what this one is doing, or what Patsy did or Miss Pearl 632 00:47:47.239 --> 00:47:50.880 in church, Like you know, you don't want to talk about those things, 633 00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:53.280 you know what I mean. But like if it's something of substance, 634 00:47:53.440 --> 00:47:58.599 right, or that you're really passionate about, you will talk, you know, 635 00:47:58.719 --> 00:48:02.239 and you will put yourself out there for the greater good of something. 636 00:48:02.280 --> 00:48:06.079 You're not just gonna be. You know, you don't strike me as a 637 00:48:06.119 --> 00:48:08.559 person that's just gonna text random people so they cannot text you back, Like 638 00:48:08.599 --> 00:48:13.920 that's not something you would do. But you're trying to convey that although I'm 639 00:48:13.920 --> 00:48:16.360 not a person that's gonna run up to people and say hi, my name 640 00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:22.119 is Like, you're not that type of person, Like you have the ability 641 00:48:22.199 --> 00:48:25.679 to do that knowing that you know you're gonna recluse after a while. Does 642 00:48:25.719 --> 00:48:30.400 that make sense? No, definitely, I feel like you just described me 643 00:48:30.480 --> 00:48:39.039 for them. You sure you're not psychologist? Was a little too hard point. 644 00:48:39.079 --> 00:48:43.280 I don't know, I don't know you know what it is. I 645 00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:45.079 literally used to say, I'm not even joking. I used to say the 646 00:48:45.159 --> 00:48:49.920 same thing, and a lot of my friends used to be like, hush, 647 00:48:49.960 --> 00:48:53.199 you don't like to talk because once I'm talking about something, just like 648 00:48:53.239 --> 00:48:58.599 I'm telling you that I'm passionate about I will. I am the queen of 649 00:48:58.679 --> 00:49:01.280 long story shorts, and it's not in short about the story. Nothing about 650 00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:07.519 the story is short, right, So I just had to realize and tell 651 00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:09.960 myself, like, I need to stop saying that, because you know the 652 00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:13.840 power of the tongue, right, so what you're saying matters. I need 653 00:49:13.880 --> 00:49:17.039 to stop, whether it's out louder to myself saying I don't like to talk, 654 00:49:17.079 --> 00:49:21.039 I don't like to be around a lot of people. That's not true. 655 00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:23.159 Yes, I don't like to be around like big crowds of people I 656 00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:27.559 don't know, but if it's people that are my friends or you know, 657 00:49:27.639 --> 00:49:30.639 people I haven't seen in a long time, I love seeing everybody. Now 658 00:49:30.639 --> 00:49:35.519 I'm going to disappear after an hour, but I still love seeing everybody, 659 00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:37.599 you know. So I just I don't know when I heard you say that. 660 00:49:37.800 --> 00:49:42.079 I'm just like, I need to tell him this because this is something 661 00:49:42.159 --> 00:49:45.639 I used to say, and I don't even think he realizes. I'm gonna 662 00:49:45.639 --> 00:49:50.400 have to stop saying it now because definitely a massive description, perfectly so, 663 00:49:52.079 --> 00:49:55.079 oh my gosh, hilarious. Well I'm glad I couldn't give you a little 664 00:49:55.559 --> 00:50:02.639 doctor Phild's session. Don't build me. No no, no, no, 665 00:50:02.639 --> 00:50:07.599 no no building, no building, free of charge, free of charge. 666 00:50:09.960 --> 00:50:17.199 Okay, Well, for our final segment, I'm going to ask you I 667 00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:22.599 vacillate between how many questions I usually ask, but pick up the seven jewels. 668 00:50:22.639 --> 00:50:32.800 I'm going to ask you seven questions, all right, okay, okay, 669 00:50:32.960 --> 00:50:38.480 so you can answer with one word or one sentence, right, and 670 00:50:38.599 --> 00:50:44.480 just make it be the first thing that comes to mind. Okay, all 671 00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:46.880 right, So stretcher back, make sure your need is working. Good you 672 00:50:46.920 --> 00:50:52.960 can you know you're ready challenge quiz? All right, all right? First 673 00:50:52.000 --> 00:51:00.079 question? What book or movie left a lasting impression on you? Shsh that's 674 00:51:00.119 --> 00:51:05.800 a hard one already, Oh my gosh. And it doesn't have to do 675 00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:08.599 anything deep. Maybe you just like really resonated it with it, or you 676 00:51:08.639 --> 00:51:19.159 really liked it something like that. I'd have to say. The first thing 677 00:51:19.159 --> 00:51:22.440 that pass in my mind is the book Kindred, honestly. Oh okay, 678 00:51:22.559 --> 00:51:25.239 nice, nice, Okay, that's fine. As long as I didn't know 679 00:51:25.239 --> 00:51:30.480 if you were going to say shut us and I was gonna say us, 680 00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:34.320 you came and you came to talk the leadership things come again. Okay, 681 00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:39.960 that's that one is good. Okay. Next one, what man do you 682 00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:45.280 look up to most? And why? I guess I have to say like 683 00:51:45.400 --> 00:51:50.840 my father for real, because I will say I try not to have, 684 00:51:51.159 --> 00:51:53.559 Like I'm definitely not one of the people that have like you know, celebrity 685 00:51:53.639 --> 00:51:57.880 role models and stuff like that was never my thing. But if I have 686 00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:01.039 to be honest with myself, I think a lot of his people literally say 687 00:52:01.079 --> 00:52:04.480 like, you know, y'all look the same, y'all, y'all act the 688 00:52:04.480 --> 00:52:07.760 same, y'all talk the same. Like I definitely picked them a lot of 689 00:52:07.800 --> 00:52:15.360 things from him, whether it's like being too serious or oh I forgot it's 690 00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:17.000 supposed to be one sentence. I don't already message no, no, it's 691 00:52:17.039 --> 00:52:20.519 fine, it's fine, go with what you want to say. It's fine. 692 00:52:20.719 --> 00:52:23.519 But yeah, but I think like the important things like you know how 693 00:52:23.519 --> 00:52:29.360 to carry yourself as a man, and you know how to interact with others, 694 00:52:29.480 --> 00:52:32.199 especially women, like respecting women to the best of your ability. Like, 695 00:52:32.360 --> 00:52:37.679 I think a lot of my core values have come from him, So 696 00:52:37.880 --> 00:52:39.519 yeah, I'd have to go with him for sure. Nice. I love 697 00:52:39.559 --> 00:52:45.519 that answer. Okay, next one tea or coffee? Oh t okay, 698 00:52:45.559 --> 00:52:49.360 listen, there was only one right answer, you know, there was only 699 00:52:49.480 --> 00:52:52.480 one right answer. Had you said coffee, we would have to trade you 700 00:52:52.519 --> 00:52:57.360 to the Nigerians because you know, t is a part of our community. 701 00:52:57.760 --> 00:53:04.639 See how quick I answered. That wasn't even a question. Okay, Next 702 00:53:04.719 --> 00:53:15.320 one, describe yourself in three words. I'd have to say understanding, okay, 703 00:53:16.159 --> 00:53:23.519 stubborn, and and I say like compassionate, honestly or like empathetic. 704 00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:27.599 One of those two words nice, nice, as long as you never said 705 00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:36.639 bad man perfect perfect okay. And the next one, what affirmation or proverb 706 00:53:36.840 --> 00:53:42.719 or quote helps to keep you grounded? If I had to pick one, 707 00:53:42.960 --> 00:53:52.800 yeah right, there's so many sheeesh. I don't want to say the don't 708 00:53:52.800 --> 00:53:54.840 feel a follower, be a leader one because we'ven talked about that a lot 709 00:53:54.920 --> 00:54:01.280 already. I said, I have to say, like it might be kind 710 00:54:01.280 --> 00:54:08.480 of like what's the word like cliche, but definitely the Philippians Bible Verse worthy 711 00:54:08.599 --> 00:54:14.840 team, like I think I definitely try to keep that in mind every day, 712 00:54:15.519 --> 00:54:19.760 you know, Like you know, I'm Christian, so reading, oh 713 00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:22.760 I figure out the one word answers again, No, no, it fine, 714 00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:25.840 but you have to say the Bible verse because some persons might not know 715 00:54:25.960 --> 00:54:29.920 it. Yeah, through all things Christ, I can do all things through 716 00:54:29.960 --> 00:54:35.800 Christ who strengthens me. I'm not sure which version that is, but you 717 00:54:35.840 --> 00:54:39.639 know, just that's like my daily reminder, you know, to remember like 718 00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:44.400 you know, whatever adversity you go through, you know you always have gone 719 00:54:44.440 --> 00:54:46.760 on your side and all those people behind you, you know, supporting you, 720 00:54:46.800 --> 00:54:52.000 pushing you on that. I love that perfect. And second to last 721 00:54:52.039 --> 00:55:00.159 one, what is your favorite Jamaican sing favorite Jamaican saying? How gotta find 722 00:55:00.159 --> 00:55:15.320 a new one? Now following not adah mm hmmm mhm. See my brain's 723 00:55:15.400 --> 00:55:17.719 like going blank. Now I don't know. Okay, let me ask you 724 00:55:17.760 --> 00:55:22.719 a different one. Then? How about so this is gonna count as the 725 00:55:22.760 --> 00:55:25.760 same one, so there's still going to be one more so, how about 726 00:55:30.480 --> 00:55:35.480 okay, if you could go anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, 727 00:55:36.199 --> 00:55:45.519 where would you go on? What five persons would you bring? Sheesh, 728 00:55:45.079 --> 00:55:50.440 Well, I'm gonna answer both. But my uncle always tells me when we 729 00:55:50.559 --> 00:55:54.159 held each other up like respect to the greatst aspect. But for the other 730 00:55:54.239 --> 00:55:59.559 question, that's not even like a whole fully thought out saying. But that's 731 00:55:59.559 --> 00:56:01.880 just something that popped in my head because we always did it every time I 732 00:56:01.920 --> 00:56:07.280 see me and my brother too. Oh nice, you said all expense paid 733 00:56:07.320 --> 00:56:10.440 trip, Yes, anywhere in the world. So one half of the question 734 00:56:10.679 --> 00:56:15.360 is where would you go? And then the second half is what five persons 735 00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:23.559 would you take? Honestly, I have to say, hm hmm. I 736 00:56:23.679 --> 00:56:28.400 have to say Carnival. That's the that's my next big place. I want 737 00:56:28.440 --> 00:56:34.920 to go Carnival. Honestly, I'd have to say Trinidad because if I go 738 00:56:34.960 --> 00:56:37.639 to Jamaica, I want to go to Jamaica, but I'm gonna have to 739 00:56:37.719 --> 00:56:43.719 visit my family there, so I feel like that's not really I feel like 740 00:56:43.719 --> 00:56:46.599 that doesn't count. Said I do not want to bring down a baron. 741 00:56:47.719 --> 00:56:53.280 No, that's not that's not do you have to be careful with your words. 742 00:56:53.320 --> 00:56:55.960 You know. That's not what I've met. That's not what I met. 743 00:56:57.000 --> 00:56:59.880 I met like that's like a two part trip. That's not you know. 744 00:57:00.599 --> 00:57:02.880 No, definitely. Plus I've never been to Trinida and I like trying 745 00:57:02.880 --> 00:57:08.239 to do things. So we'll go with Trinity Carnival. Okay, I'd bring 746 00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:15.800 me my brother. You don't don't count. You don't know my brother. 747 00:57:17.719 --> 00:57:22.719 Honestly, my my brother and my four cousins. My two cousins that went 748 00:57:22.760 --> 00:57:28.400 to University of Maryland and then my two one lives in New York. She 749 00:57:28.480 --> 00:57:31.199 just had a baby actually, and the other one that works in Brooklyn. 750 00:57:31.840 --> 00:57:37.320 Okay, nice, So it would be like a cousin's trip. Were literally 751 00:57:37.679 --> 00:57:40.679 trying to play one for the longest, So yeah, nice, that would 752 00:57:40.679 --> 00:57:47.320 be really fun. Okay, And the final question, how has your relationship 753 00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:55.400 with your mother influenced your personal values? Mm hmmm. I think it actually 754 00:57:55.440 --> 00:58:01.320 has a lot, because I feel like we were similar but also very different 755 00:58:01.440 --> 00:58:07.199 in the way we think. So I feel like she's definitely She's probably where 756 00:58:07.239 --> 00:58:15.599 I get my like empathetic nature from because through her I've had I've definitely learned, 757 00:58:15.639 --> 00:58:20.960 like you know, understanding a lot of different perspectives in the world, 758 00:58:21.199 --> 00:58:24.360 even ones that like I might think are ridiculous and crazy. I think she's 759 00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:30.519 definitely taught me how to navigate that and also like kind of put my I 760 00:58:30.519 --> 00:58:35.840 don't want to say pride, but like you know, put my like opposition 761 00:58:36.159 --> 00:58:39.639 off and kind of just listen to people and really try to understand their background. 762 00:58:39.719 --> 00:58:43.039 Even at the end of the day if I don't, you still got 763 00:58:43.079 --> 00:58:47.119 to respect it and like respect all others over anything. And I think that's 764 00:58:47.119 --> 00:58:51.719 definitely one of the main things I've gotten from her. I love that. 765 00:58:52.960 --> 00:58:55.480 I love that, and you know, something that I've talked about with other 766 00:58:55.599 --> 00:59:00.360 men that have come on this podcast in the past is the importance of a 767 00:59:00.440 --> 00:59:07.199 mother son relationship, right. I think that's very telling how a man treats 768 00:59:07.199 --> 00:59:12.960 women in his life based on that relationship. So I always ask a question 769 00:59:13.199 --> 00:59:16.920 about, you know, how men feel or what they've learned from their mother 770 00:59:17.079 --> 00:59:22.280 or grandmother, because I think it's really telling in who you are as a 771 00:59:22.280 --> 00:59:25.440 person, and just in you explaining that, even when you explained your relationship 772 00:59:25.480 --> 00:59:30.199 with your father honestly as well, you know, it really says a lot 773 00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:32.800 about who you are as a person, like who I've come to know, 774 00:59:32.920 --> 00:59:37.960 but also who you described on here, you know in this episode, and 775 00:59:37.159 --> 00:59:43.320 just a lot of your qualities. You know. Yes, we are of 776 00:59:43.360 --> 00:59:46.559 the same culture, and yes there are certain things that we all learn as 777 00:59:46.639 --> 00:59:51.760 Jamaicans, but as we also know by just turning on the news or looking 778 00:59:51.840 --> 00:59:54.519 at the Jamaica Observer, you know, once in a while, there are 779 00:59:54.559 --> 00:59:59.800 people that are not so nice, you know, or don't treat women very 780 00:59:59.840 --> 01:00:04.400 well well, you know. So it's like it's really a choice, like 781 01:00:04.559 --> 01:00:07.199 our parents do the best they can do and teach us right from wrong and 782 01:00:07.280 --> 01:00:10.840 do the best they can with what they have, but it's really up to 783 01:00:10.960 --> 01:00:15.159 us as individuals whether we're going to abide by that, whether we're going to 784 01:00:15.199 --> 01:00:19.719 be decent people in the world. You know. So, yes, it 785 01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:22.280 starts with your parents. Yes, mother and son. That relationship has a 786 01:00:22.320 --> 01:00:27.519 lot to do with it, but it sets the foundation for who you will 787 01:00:27.599 --> 01:00:30.840 become as a man. And it sounds to me like your parents did an 788 01:00:30.920 --> 01:00:36.320 excellent job. Definitely shout out to them for sure. Yes, for sure, 789 01:00:36.440 --> 01:00:43.440 Big up Auntie and uncle. Well as Sadly, that concludes the episode. 790 01:00:43.480 --> 01:00:46.320 I know we could talk for like three more hours, but I want 791 01:00:46.400 --> 01:00:51.639 to thank you so much for coming to talk the things with me and for 792 01:00:51.719 --> 01:00:57.679 sharing your insights and your stories. And I think having more of these conversations 793 01:00:58.079 --> 01:01:01.760 can be helpful just for people in general, but particularly men, because that's 794 01:01:01.760 --> 01:01:06.800 the premise of this episode, to see that they're not alone in probably some 795 01:01:06.840 --> 01:01:09.280 of the stuff that they deal with on a day today or that they're thinking 796 01:01:09.320 --> 01:01:14.239 about. So, before we go, is there anything else that you want 797 01:01:14.280 --> 01:01:21.559 to share? I think one little tangent, like onto you're saying like it's 798 01:01:21.679 --> 01:01:24.599 very important for that mother's son relationship. I think I was thinking earlier in 799 01:01:24.599 --> 01:01:28.719 the podcast, Like I just want to say, I feel like it's very 800 01:01:28.719 --> 01:01:34.800 important to have women friends, Like not every woman you know, you're supposed 801 01:01:34.800 --> 01:01:42.280 to what's the word pursue even from like you know, people from younger even 802 01:01:42.320 --> 01:01:45.880 to now like in college. Like having that woman perspective I think is very 803 01:01:45.920 --> 01:01:53.280 important to build yourself as a man, because that'll like show you the women's 804 01:01:53.360 --> 01:01:57.880 side of things that you might never known if you only like obviously like a 805 01:01:57.920 --> 01:02:00.840 lot of men, like you know, your friend groups are probably the majority 806 01:02:00.320 --> 01:02:05.079 like male, right right, having you know, at least like a couple 807 01:02:05.159 --> 01:02:09.960 homegirls that you can talk to. Honestly, I feel like they'd be easier 808 01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:15.119 to talk to than your homeboys. Sometimes you're not gonna lie because they've understanding 809 01:02:15.239 --> 01:02:21.480 some stuff. Yep, Yep, that's true. And that's what I mean. 810 01:02:21.599 --> 01:02:25.599 Like I try to tell my guy friends all the time, like every 811 01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:29.840 woman that you meet, even if you find them attractive, like if you 812 01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:32.239 realize that's not going anywhere, that doesn't mean you just toss her, Like 813 01:02:32.280 --> 01:02:38.000 maybe that could be a good friend. And like you said, it's really 814 01:02:38.039 --> 01:02:44.039 important sometimes to get a woman's perspective. However, it comes back to even 815 01:02:44.079 --> 01:02:47.320 with a woman, like having that discernment, you know, like making sure 816 01:02:47.400 --> 01:02:52.119 you're talking to someone anyone that has your same values exactly, because if you 817 01:02:52.239 --> 01:02:57.599 bring a story or you bring something you're going through to anybody, no matter 818 01:02:57.639 --> 01:03:00.400 their gender, and they don't have your same value, they could either make 819 01:03:00.440 --> 01:03:06.320 you feel like what you're feeling is it valid or kind of send you on 820 01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:09.199 a different tangent that you wouldn't have gone on. Does that make sense right? 821 01:03:09.559 --> 01:03:16.440 No, definitely, I definitely agree. Thank you so much for coming. 822 01:03:16.559 --> 01:03:20.199 I had an amazing time, and I hope you did as well. 823 01:03:20.719 --> 01:03:22.639 I definitely did. Thank you so much for running me on here as a 824 01:03:22.719 --> 01:03:27.880 privilege. Oh, no problem, no problem, It was my pleasure. 825 01:03:29.400 --> 01:03:34.679 Thanks again for tuning in this week, and please remember to follow us on 826 01:03:34.760 --> 01:03:40.119 Spotify and Apple podcast so you can be notified when a new episode is released. 827 01:03:40.639 --> 01:03:45.960 And if you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a five star rating 828 01:03:45.159 --> 01:03:47.679 on Spotify or Apple podcast