Previously on Quest Competence. You have in fact performed the duty that I hired
you for. That is excellent. He just holds his hand out in your
direction. You want us to pull your finger? Now, we're not going
to chriss my friend. No, no, no, give moog ring.
You can have the bracelets. I don't care what you do with them.
We are the daughters of Irandus. We are dedicated to defending and protecting women
across the land that she at least believes that the guy is really the mayor,
and then he has trapped the rightful heir to the throne and needs the
gem to get the money. Hey everybody, I'm Judy Black, author of
mostly duns the Dragons type stuff. My with recent work is the short End
Sweet Intro module, which is just a very punny, ridiculous You get to
fight pies, sort of Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons. You can find that
on the d MS Guild, which also has a ton of other great stuff.
And I play Gigi is in Nicole Mansea on this adventure. Let's say
hi everybody. I am the one, the Only, The r Car author
of urban fantasy, science fiction, and horror comedy. I sometimes even write
books with the one and only Rick wall Terry, of which our recent book,
Deviant Dark Dryads is available now and pretty soon I'm blowing up the Shingles
universe with The Fine Old Girl coming out in August. When I am not
destroying things, I am destroying things here as Hilda Swington, the Reformed Cannibal
and Druid. Hi everybody, I'm Teresa Glover. I'm the author of the
Caitlin Kelly Monster Hunter series with Falstaff Books, and also an editor at Falstaff
Books. When I am not doing those type things, you can generally find
me running around conventions anytime between like January and November, with an occasional appearance
in December. In this travesty of an adventure that we're on, I am
tryn Karen Wine Tangler, and if you're not careful, I will end up
with you in my down line in one of the many delightful MLMs that I'm
involved in. Hey everyone, my name is Rick Qualterian. I play oh
Freeseater Elf Murderer Extraordinary. In real life, I write several series, including
The Tomb of Bill, The Hybrid of High Moon Tells It a crypto Hunter.
There's very few people named for Qualtieri, and there's even few of them
out there writing stuff. So if you find a book by one, chances
art's mine. Hey, y'all, I'm Missy Massey. I'm not going to
call myself the one and only because there's a whole lot of Missy Massey's surprisingly
on the Internet. But I am the only one who is writing the mad
Chestral series of pirate fantasy adventures. I am an editor for Falstaff and for
Lord Seekers Press and for Mocham Memoirs Press. And today when I'm hanging around
with these folks, I play and where Crow the sexy, seductive thief who
wants to get in your pockets or your pants or maybe both. He's not
picky. And I I am John Hartness, founder and publisher of Falstaff Books
and the author of Quincy Harkard, Demon Hunter, Babba the Monster Hunter,
The Black Night Chronicles, and multiple other things. I am also the founder
of the Saga Genre Fiction Writing Conference, tickets for which are on sale right
now at Saga conference dot com. And I suppose that I am the navigator
of this nerd brigade. And when last we left our heroes, they wanted
me to tell you that you only have a few weeks left to order your
tickets for Authors and Dragons Con twenty twenty three in Portland August eleventh through thirteenth,
So get your ass over to Authors and Dragons dot com and buy those
tickets. You have already missed the window for the discounted room block, so
you screwed yourself on that one. Don't screw yourself again. I mean,
okay, do I don't care screw who you want to screw as long as
there's consent catfishing. You had to bring up catfish today of all days.
Do you not care of my trauma? You evil, evil voice from above?
No, not a bit. All I heard was screwing. And where's
like, can we talk about this? Yeah, he's an edger, he
doesn't care about trauma. So when last we left our heroes, they were
sleeping. And when last we left these idiots, they were also taking a
long rest after getting a brand new outlook on the quest that they had been
given from the mayor about their quest for the Gem of fo Mark. And
we upgraded our George to a Georgian Georgie. Yes, you now have a
Georgie Georgina, Georgina, Georgina. Yeah, and who looks an awful lot
like George? But you know it's dwarfing. So as you awaken, there's
a spread of breakfast laid out for you. And yes, right, was
there any bathing overnight? I'm just asking for no apparent reason, not that
I would be like hiding as a dormouse and stalking. Does he have any
particular people took a bath. Any of you that wanted to bathe can bathe.
So if you wanted a dormouse to peep on you, you could have.
You had the opportunity to provide that environment. Did anyone provide that smells
like the festering blood of his enemies? This is a good smell. And
where was happy to wash his hair and all his crevices and whatnot. So
you never know who you're going to meet with your clothes off. That's true.
Okay, Karen slept so hard she doesn't remember what happened in the last
twenty four hours. Strangely enough, when Trynkaren awoke, there was a bucket
on her head. I assume you took that off at some point. Yes,
I immediately took that off and wondered where the hell that came from,
because you know that only happens when I drink tequila. Yeah, Moog makes
it a point at breakfast time to once again activate his wondrous ring. Yes,
hello, do you remember the word fandangolis? Stupid word? All right,
buddy, rolly a D one hundred twenty three. Okay, All of
a sudden, Moog begins to rise into the air. You're going to be
rising at a rate of five feet per round. We are indoors, yes,
yes, you are currently indoors. Oh good, rick, roll me
a D four. Yes, Moog is ascending to murder the gods. It's
a moog balloon. If you're that full of gas, I mean there,
you probably need more fiber in your diet. One. I think less fiber,
seriously, less fiber, and I eat a plant based diet. I
think we need to tie something to his foot. You'll be rising at the
rate of five feet per round for the next three rounds unless someone decides to
anchor you are there. Are there little pastries or something for breakfast, or
little little cut cookies or I will grab Moog's leg, not that leg,
no, no, just the leg actually, like just I'll use my moog
balloon and keep him from balloon sticking to the ceiling. And I'm taking the
little cakes and throwing them at him to see if he can catch them in
his mouth. Let us go outside and find birds so that move can fly
after them and murder the midflight. All right, Yeah, Hilda's just gonna
pull the moove balloon down. I'm just holding a move balloon. Okay,
you don't want to tie anything to the moon balloons? Only eighteen seconds?
Yeah, I didn't tell you how long you're gonna be afloat. Well,
I don't know. I haven't had enough time to consider bondage. I'm just
holding his leg, which is about to become unintentionally hilarious, wishing he wore
a kilt. Yeah. Well, after I assume you'd like to eat breakfast.
And then is breakfast plant based? There's a bunch of fruit and ship.
Okay, I will glare and make many an offhand comment about what animal
meats due to one's virility while looking pointedly at the rogue. Are there grapes?
No, I have the grapes. If there are any. There are
no grapes. There's cattle open shiit slicetep cattle up. I'm throwing the cattle
oupit bog, catch a boog? Catch I gout. Your clan have tradition
of eating inwards of squirrel before much vigorous meeting. I'm not throwing that at
him. That's gross. Now. I am a vegan. I am a
vegan. I do not need to get laid enough to go murder a squirrel.
I am a vegan. Where's the metotato? How the hell do you
think you make other vegans? All right? As you finish breakfast, mook
still floating. It's getting really annoying eating one handed the old Moog's power.
As Moog looks down upon you all, sweetie, do we need to tie
a rope around him or something or you know? I mean, I've got
but they'll stretch and I'd really not wear other waists them. If anyone is
tying up Moog, I will volunteer his tribute, because I'm taller. Of
course, sure real, I wasn't going to attempt to take him from you.
He is all yours to tie up. I mean, having him up
there does help the ambiance, because you can't smell him quite as much,
are you implying that orchid like aromas are offensive. I'm saying that they're not.
My jam means to cause much offense to jam, you know? Are
they your toes? No? I will not up there, use one of
my leather ropes to hold my moog balloon so that I can at least eat
breakfast with two hands. Okay, do you want a rope? Move is
too busy looking down upon you. I thought you were vegan. I'm handing
him cantle. You're using leather ropes. It's plant leather. It's a leather,
mushroom based. Nice catch. It was totally not skinned and repurposed from
that. No miss incident or anything like that. You know, it's our
smushroom based. Definitely subterranean. Most people just carry hemp rope, you know.
So I was just curious when you said leather. But let's not kink
shame. We do not waste anything in the forest eating, So we may
leave perhaps perhaps movable spot elves flow and he will rain death upon them.
I've fling another piece of candle up at Move's head. You realize I'm under
him, right. If cantlope hits my face, I may rage, But
you're a vegan and also not our a that too, I'd want to test
the bear. This morning, some of us didn't get the most sleep,
I mean really so hard. I have no idea what's going on today.
I mean, I just feel out of it. Sorry about the bucket,
Um, we didn't lose the bucket the bucket, did it? Fifth?
I mean that only happens when I drink tequila. I mean, I told
you I'll not to give me to quila that that might have been hit by
a bear. Ass, I'm sorry about that. Whose bears a R B
E A R. That really doesn't make it any better. No, No,
I know, I know some bears and I love them, but they
can keep their asses to themselves. So does anyone know where the people is
and how to get there? Yeah? Through the woods? I mean I
would know those paths. But do we have to go to more urban health.
Let's go to ragaval and and kill goddess of tyrant lizards. Killing a
god doesnt sound like a fun diversion, But I want to get paid first,
So off to Ragafel. Yes, as long as we know the way
and don't have to ask for directions or anything, because that would be really
embarrassing. You know, have adhd bare lead the way new stupid dwarf can
lead us? Yeah? Am I still have you let go of the monk
balloon? Fuck? No, you are in charge of the mood balloon.
Then yes, you're still holding the mood balloon. Trincarn looks at her.
Who the hell are you? By the way, I should have asked for
consent tying you up, but you don't seem to care. Georgina comes in,
asks if you're all ready to leave? Why is the Why is he?
It's what he does. Just don't ask questions. Good, we'll get
along. Fine, Yeah, I don't care. I'm gonna be I'm getting
paid to take you to Ragaful the cap if he went floating at me,
well, Georgiana starts eating Cattleope, not working. Apparently it only works on
orcs who have been turned into elves. That must be it. Don't don't
think about don't think about anything, anyone says. If you think too hard,
you'll get a brain cramp. She leads you out, lead you to
the outskirts of the city, and you head off on the trail to Ragaful.
Is it nice and wooded and peaceful? Most of the time. Yeah,
and after or after most of a day's travel, you find yourselves at
a path through the woods, and as you come upon this little area,
moogs spell finally fades and he floats gently down to the ground. It's been
about eleven hours of floating move. Oh my god, I've been like a
little kid at a carnival with just a floating move for eleven hours. Yep.
It was awesome except for the point, except for the time when Moog
had to pee. We look, I've probably wild shaped into a panda.
They do headstance when they key this gust nothing to addouldn't you like to fly
in your Muga muafu balloon balloon? Yep, I already sang that under my
breath. I may have muted, but yeah, we have the ninety nine
move balloons. Yeah. They must went over like a Moog balloon. Yeah.
Can I have my rope back? Or do you just want to stay
tied up? I'm just asking my all Right, you're on a trail.
What would you like to do? Walk? Let's continue on the trail alright,
anything I would like to make a perception of check, because is anything,
um, you know, it's a natural zone. Go a fourth and
appreciate nature and roll perception because I don't trust shit. Well that's good shit
you can trust. Shouldn't ever attack anyone. Actually, no, we're not
going there. You should have control of your token, Rachel, I do
now. One time, moog, Father sit him aside, like for there
is no one in this world you can trust, not men, women,
up beasts. Then he took big dump and held it up and said,
Dish, you can trust you. It's a beautiful moment that I feel enlightened
most. I'm not sure what lesson was. Father was drunk. I was
so distracted by the riddle of shit that I rolled a nut roll one and
notice nothing. Yeah, I got it too, so as well. I
rolled a five because it grossed me out. Yeah, y'all to see a
trail, Yeah it's a trail. Move rolls up four because he's too he's
too cut up in his own in his own story, in his own ship.
We're all going to die. Clearly, we are in the woods and
everything is safe, and I'm no longer drawing a move balloon. So um
ah, there's something to notice. Apparently I noticed it. Hey, someone
see Yeah, not from where you are there's not anything for you to notice.
Okay, m keep walking, yep, keep going. They can't they
can't move. I'm stuck on the trail. You should be able to move.
Now there we now, I'm moving on the trail. You have died
of dysentery. Wait didn't somebody? God? No, We're all going to
roll horribly next time too. I've spent long enough in the bucket that I
kind of forgot that I need to stay towards the back of the crowd.
As you come around the bend, do you see a man standing in front
of a wagon. He had, he has stopped, he has chocked the
wheels, he has opened the sides of the wagon, and uh, your
general shopkeeper style stuff is on display where Georgina is not. Georgina is ignoring
you. Okay, that's smart, I mean that's true. Human tell us,
tell us why we should listen to you and not kill you? And
have which woman bring you back? Is walking corpse? You could start with
hello, moog, I think he did Hello. The baffled and slightly terrified
merchant is just kind of staring at you. I have I have things,
sell things. Would you like to buy things and not kill me, you
murder innocent animals and defile the land. As a general principle, say no,
say no, no, and I will look at your things. It's
general store kind of crap. There's a couple of healing potions, just your
basic just your basic healing potions. But otherwise it is the same kind of
stuff you would expect to find at a general store. Do you get a
lot of business here in the middle of nowhere? Are there other people coming
that maybe defiling the wilds that we can go kill instead? I think that
it's entirely possible that there may be people here that you can attempt to kill.
Well, you know I'm not. And that is when three other people
come out of the come out of the woods, and everyone should roll initiative.
Is one of them an elf? Yes, one of them is indeed
en elf. Look forward to defiling you and not a sexy boy else who
rolls a twenty two? The rolls of fifteen turn Karen apparently quick twice,
but the first one was a thirteen all right, the bad Guys roll of
twenty alrighty, so moog buddy, pale. Whole bunch of people just came
out of the woods. It appears that one of them, a couple of
them look like fighters, and one looks like a spellcaster, and the merchant
has drawn a rapier. All right, let's see here hill steppie up to
here, and this merchant fuck this guy, all right, So I'm gonna
do a booming blade on the merchant, all right, and tell the folks
at home what the hell that does? All right, booming blade, you
brandished weapon, blah blahlah blah. You know, I make some make some
attacks on him and it goes boom, So it's a far Basically, he
takes thunder damage if I hit him, and then if he moves, he
takes additional thunder damage. Alrighty, but you have to hit him, yes,
which that comes next? Now comes the pain, all right. First
attack it's at twenty six. That's gonna hit all right, that's for ten
points of slashing. And the second attack comes in at a twenty four that
will, strangely enough, also hit all right, that's thirteen slashing and all
right, so he'll take twenty three points of slashing and two points of thunder.
And yet and I think this six is if he moves, that's how
much thunder damage he takes ah. Okay, sounds good. Um, next
up would be oh look, the bad guys get to play. So first
the first the merchant is not happy with you, Moog. He is he
is going to take a shot at you. The first shot is a nine,
the second is a fourteen, and his third attack is a sixteen.
Do any of those hit you? Move stands there and laughs as they all
miss pathetically. He turns to a very large green skinned man behind him and
says, m grog, meet moog, Grog kill moog, And a half
orc comes charging up and takes that is gildy, I have greenskin. Grog
is stupid. Well you know, he'll come right over and take a shot.
And he is as inept with his great acts as the other guy is
with his sword. The mohawked man standing next to them just kind of size.
All right, fine, doesn't eighteen hit you? Oddly enough? It
does, but as a reaction, I cast shield, which makes it miss.
All right, So he takes his shot. You cast shield, his
reaction and his scimitar stop just clamming, and he kind of shakes his hands
a little bit and looks very confused. So the spellcaster she takes a few
steps back. Flee for your life so that move may chase you. And
she's going to fire off a few arcane bursts at you, all right,
and all of them will miss wildly. Wow, the bad guys can't roll
for shit? There is there is there breeze blowing or something is are you?
Are you aiming at invisible person next to Moog? Wow, you're such
a dick Moog like just an impressive level of asshole. Um, it's now
Georgina's turn. And because she's only been with you guys a very short time,
she doesn't hate you yet, and as such, she will run up
and take her shot at the merchant with her warhammer, and she will take
a shot at them, at the lead merchant, and she will pop him
four nine. And the merchant has now had the ever loving piss knocked out
of him and is not happy with any of you. Hilda, Ye'll tear
thunder Thunder Thunder, thunder Wave. I've wanted to use that theme song for
a while. I am going to cast thunder wave okay, and even make
fun of it because I would make that same joke which in a twenty foot
cube center Cube on well actually, since it's a cube. It's sort of
right behind these three people technically, so I'm basically putting it at the point
of this stick, so that the three people that I want to kill are
targeted rather than the people I may want to kill in the future. Seems
reasonable. DC fourteen constitution save or they will take twenty two damage. Oh,
there we go. Yes, that that would be the point. Thank
you. I'm hitting everybody, so yes, it is a fourth level cast.
All unsecured objects will also be flung back at least ten feet, and
an audible boom can be heard for three hundred feet. Anything with enhanced hearing
will be deafened. Oh look at those Look at those con saves. So
the spell caster and the merchant take half damage and everybody else takes full damage.
So that's yes, twenty two there, then there deserved. Wow,
spellcasters are so squishy. Yes, that's why we back up. Yeah,
and didn't back up enough. And that's gonna send Sky ten feet this way
and this guy ten feet this way. Oh yes, they're also pushed ten
anyone who fails is pushed ten feet away from me. Now they're pushed ten
feet from the origin point. So they're going to be Yeah, opportunity,
the merchant doesn't. The merchant made us safe. Yeah, okay, So
and they won't really get attacks of opportunity because these people are literally flying.
They're not taking steps to where someone could respond. Why kill when you can
over kill? Yeah, but no one's dead. So I will also since
this person is moved after casting it, I'm moving back to this hill.
Is it a hill or is it just so it slept enough that I can
move a little further back. Yes, but by moving you will promoke provoke
an attack of opportunity from the merchant because he wasn't knocked down. I will
accept that risk to not get pinsured between the orc and the merchant. Next
round, Well, he nat one to his attack. So apparently he was
so rattled by the thunder wave that he lost his grip on his short sword
and it dug into the dirt. He missed so badly, So I mean
it was impressive. It was the last time we heard thunder like that.
It was after mooch had Chili. Dear God, it's now going to be
known as the moog Chili spell. No, it really won't, you'd say
that. Now I'm done, all right, TRN Karen, Well, you
know what happens after a really loud rock concert. You have them drop the
well yeah, that deep, but you know they have to drop the base
at some point. So I'm about to drop that mace on the spellcaster.
All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have turned this fight into
a concert without a bard. Where are you and where is the spell caster?
I am the squishy, little green person way over here on the side
of the trail. I don't know that you can get there. It has
a sixty foot range. Finish off the merchant. Oh sorry, the spiritual
spiritual sph Sorry, okay, yep, that was the one I meant to
click. Yes, by casting spiritual weapon, you can in fact hit That's
what I was trying to do. Yes, And the weapon itself shows up
as a mace, that's why. And somehow rolled the exact same thing,
which I think was amazing. Roll the exact same thing. It's like a
Six's a good job, all right, you have maced the spell caster for
eight sweet She looks around and she's like, Dafa, what Alright? I
see how it is? What happened? I mean, you can hide,
but it's not going to help. But you can't run um. Oh right,
I would like to pulls the dead at the merchant has a sixty foot
range, but I'm also going back, so Gailly and Mademoiselle Crunchy can step
in front of me absolutely. I mean if I had a Mademoiselle Crunchy to
hide behind, I would too. All right, So what does toll the
dead do? So I point at the merchant and the sound of bells fill
the air around it, and the merchant needs to make a wisdom daving thorow
what is your spell? DC fifteen? Well the merchant is not all that
wise, and he's and he's very confused. He heard thunder, now he
hears bells, and he's just like, I don't know what's going on except
that now his head hurts. So two D twelve and I roll a six.
Two D twelve and I roll six. Well it was impressive up till
then six necrotic. Damn. Well he is necrotized, but he is still
up. He is not happy, but he's still up. Moog, we
come back? Yeah, Oh yes, I'm sorry. On were you rolled
so low? I forgot it was a twelve? Anyway? Can I have
a turn? I don't know you want to do something, yes, okay,
then yes you can have a turn. Okay, um, I want
to I want to try grapple. I'm standing next to the merchant, and
so I want to grapple him. What is that? Excellent? You made
us grappling? Damn? I click, though neither does anyone. That's why
nobody ever uses grapple. We'll just have will esemble that remark. I can
do athletics or some things, or yeah, you are going to try,
and so you will make an athletics check in. Then they can make either
athletics or acrobatics to get away. Okay, yes, contested abilities. Here
I go. It is it? Here you go? Oh my gosh,
pension jesus. Oh okay, with a NAT twenty, he's not getting away.
I don't care. What the hell all right, if he gets a
NAT twenty, he gets out a right, but then they're just locked it,
locked in an embrace. Yeah, but of course, the the stat
blocks for monsters don't actually give us their skills, so we're just gonna it
would be either just a strength or decks. Yeah, but yeah, just
a debt unopposed decks and no joy. He is grappled you have wrapped your
arms around him, and he cannot move, he can't benefit from any kind
of aid of movement, and he's got disadvantage on attacks. Okay, and
I'm telling him, you need to call off your people. This is all
a misunderstanding you. I know you really didn't mean to attack us, So
just tell your people to stand down right now. And I'm going yourself.
Dude, No, I'm not just gonna pillage I'm not just gonna steal your
ship. We're gonna pillage your corpses too. And Bob over there, he
kind of jerks his head towards the half work. Bob is gonna defile your
corpse like no corpse has ever been defiled before, as tempting as that sounds.
Um um, yeah, I look at everybody else and yell, anybody
want to come stab this guy? You will get advantage on attacks against the
enthusiastically hugged merchant and Moog All right, Well, whoever can take an app
attack against me can have one? Is Moog cannot resist going after this elf?
Okay, I think it can take an attack of opportunity while being bear
hugged by a randy rogue. No, but the other guy. Sure can
the mohawk thug can take a shot. So not the corpse fucker. No,
no, the corpse fucker is over there, headed towards Trin Karen.
Um. Yeah, so Moog, you'll take six slashing. What did he
hit? Huh? What? Acy? Twenty four? Okay? Oh okay,
six slashing not a big deal and ten poison. Oh yes, and
now you can absolutely go after the elf. All right, So I will
cast booming bleed on her two attacks with orphan splitter, a seventeen and a
net twenty. All right, the seventeen will also hit. So that's that's
eleven plus twenty three slashing plus five thunder damage. Is she's still up?
Oh god, oh god, no no. As that second attack lands,
the blade booms, and it's not just now orphan splitter, it's now skull
splitter because her head parts like that bottic Shelly venus on a half shell painting
only really gross, yeah, um, and offering to you and Jack and
you're ever boiling cauldron of blood. So yeah, she's a spodcaster soup she
did? Oh yeah, all right, Well that was satisfying. They ain't
even enough left to her to put one of Drew's red xes on top of
Oh no, no, I'm not done with I'm not done with her yet.
Oh god, oh lord. Okay, um, that was defilement about
to be happening. So um now I'm I'm I'm good. I already did
my like I actually technically that booming bleeding blade. All right, cool a
filement shall wait another round. Yes, I believe Georgina is next up.
No, the bad guys are next up. Yeah, bad guys are on
twenty. So the merchant is first going to try and escape, So misty
Roman acrobatics to hold on or athletics, whichever you prefer. Um, I'll
go acrobatics this time. He rolls an eighteen on his decks to escape.
Okay, he slips from your grasp. He's a wiggly little sucker. Well,
thieves, they do tend to be elusive. Yeah, and he does
not get his because he had to get loose. He doesn't get his full
attack or any movement. But he will get two shots at you. They
will be punches as opposed to his sword, because well, he dropped his
sword. Okay, you're welcome. Well, the first shot is a twenty
is a twenty six for four okay, and the second is ant one on
his other punch, which kind of spins him completely around, giving anyone who
takes a shot at him the rest of this round advantage. Oh. Next
up, Corpse Defiler is headed for tren Karen because well he got shoved towards
you. Well, I mean clearly it's destiny because his skin is just terrible,
and I can help him with that. Well, he nails a NAT
twenty on you with his first great act shot and does an eighteen hit you
like that? No, it does not? All right, Well, the
NAT twenty does, yeah, and that's gonna get you for goddamn. I
mean, look, he bastard. I was just trying to help. The
good news is he only nails you for sixteen only. Okay, yeah,
yeah, exactly. And now he's going to choose to use his battle which
is once per day special ability, and each creature within thirty feet of him
that is his party. So the merchant and this guy and this guy they
will have an advantage on their next attacks, and he gets to then take
an attack as a bonus action fastard a twenty three It does hit yes,
yeah for twenty, me too, Okay, Well, I'm in some trouble
here. Well health, good news is that if you live until Georgina's turn.
That's why we have a cleric. Yeah, um, oh my god,
yeah exactly, you need to you bring a cleric to save a cleric.
Yeah, for real, help the cleric. I gotta have two clerics.
Um. Yeah, I have no idea. It just disappeared. Yeah,
I don't know. I really don't know what I did not sign.
Yeah, I believe she teleported to talk to Gigi's husband. There we go
back. I don't yeah, Jesus, I don't know what. But yeah,
no clue. She had to go make sure that fight was done.
Yeah yeah, I mean, look, there's the whole, there's my ineptitude,
and then there's this ship and I think this ship, yeah I thought
it was just me. But no, I thought it was just me.
But now mister Mohawk is going to come charging it moved because he's that's stupid,
all right, so he'll take a shot. Wow moog, Yes,
he not waned both attacks on you. Did he hit himself at this point,
we might have murdered himself. Not Drew ain't GM in this game the
Triple NAT twenty But double nat twenty. You get a full attack on his
ass if he's going to be that inept full attack take Yeah, you can't
cast booming blade, but you can take your full full attack or full action
full attack. Okay, just so we're clear, all right, then fourteen
No, that's not going to get you there. Oh well it's a good
good try, good try, better than better than we could say about him.
Now, Georgina is going to see that her, her cleric friend here,
is leaking dramatically. Yes, it's very she will cast a level I
don't know it's been. Yeah, I keep like, I pop over to
DND beyond to look at my spells, and then when I come back and
ROULD twenty, somebody's gone exactly. Yeah. I have added Georgina back onto
this damn map like four times. There, Let's see how long she sticks
out. I hate computers. Yes, in gradible. Yeah, welcome to
Quest for Competence. We are not being successful, but Georgina, thank you.
I appreciate that. I'm feeling a little better. Still leaking profusely,
but you know, yeah, well now it's not quite as much urine.
It's mostly just blood exactly alrighty, I'm no, goddamn Hilda, I think
it's your turn. Hit, it is it's my turn. And hey,
Terry Karen, would you like to stop bleeding? I would really love to
stop bleeding. Please take nineteen points of health back then, well, thank
you, capting healing or cure wounds? Thank you? Can you? I
don't know if it's the one spell, if Shealiley is your bonus cantrip as
a druid, can I it's the one spell? Okay, one spell per
turn? All right, then I will cure this person and that's all I
can do. Yeah, all righty um on were yes, your your prey
that you were rampantly dry humping, has escaped your grasp but not your range.
Okay, get that was what I wanted to know, still standing right
in front of you. Okay, then I'm I'm just not being throwing a
sword. And yeah, he doesn't he didn't want my love, he doesn't
get my love. So yeah, twenty six I'll hit okay, yeah,
um my mam, mom, Yeah, just click where it says ripe you're
plus one o eight. All right, it's a hit, a palpable hit.
Okay, would you like to move or bonus action or any of that.
Um I will move out of the way a little bit, so,
okay, move that part. You're gonna give him an up I'm getting I'm
what you give him. You're gonna give him an opportnite attack. Yeah,
oh opportunity. Yeah. If you give out of that, guy's almost dead,
finish him off. Okay, he's fine there. Yeah, you can
take of stuff to disengage. Okay, next up, Tren Karen, you're
so bleeding a lot less. Yeah, I'm bleeding a lot less. I'm
pretty damn pissed off though. Um So, first thing I'm gonna do is
help out my friend Karen. Sorry, Helga, Yeah, hello, and
bless her for the help that she has just provided me. You literally just
blessed my heart mid battle. I did bless your heart with everything. Way
yes to her, because you can get three people with that, um Am,
I in range to get every book you can get, Georgina, and
you can get on were you can't get to. Can you get to move
now? Probably not? So okay, I'll do Georgina and on we're as
well. My measurement wasn't working on the twenty what rule twenty giving issues tonight?
I don't know what you're talking about. And just because I am pissed
off, we are also going to drop a spiritual weapon directly on green booger
face here, right in front of me, because because it sticks around and
you're not casting it, so you can you can attack A twenty two will
hit wonderful. I'm putting a smack down straight on his head, the pointy
end of the mason. Everything all right, he is, he's looking a
little woobily. He's not very happy. So because he's also a half orc
bandit, how fucking happy do you expect him to be? But so,
because that comes up for me as a bonus action, can I disengage and
step away from him? You can move, but since you're not a rogue,
you don't get the disengage. Okay, so yes, you can step
back, but you will provoke an attack of opportunity. Okay. Um,
well, if he's woobily, I may just take my chances, especially since
Hilda is right there, okay, and I have blessed her, you have
blessed her. Okay, we'll move on. Then. Also, he missed
wildly with his attack of opportunity, so delightful. Um, where are you
moving to probably just behind held over here once I get it to go.
Yeah, you can get there, no problem. Okay, yeah, Gigi,
what would you like to do do? Well, asked me and Mademoiselle
Conci And yeah, yeah, I'm going to step and eat a bit back
because I don't like people being close by. Um. And then I'm going
to toll the dead the green dude again, Well, I haven't told him
yet, so I'm gonna tell him. You you've done told the other dude
though. I told the other dude, but it wasn't very effective. So
maybe tolling this guy will work out. Wisdom saving through wisdom saving throw on
a half orc fighter, I'll say that because that's when they're going to roll
good like a six yeah, which which succeeds. Yeah. Does that mean
he takes no damage or he takes no damage as a can trip? I
just like, I just like a two D twelve damage can trip. Like
who doesn't like? Why do you think fan Dingo fire bolted literally everything?
Also he was setting things on fire, which was the entire brand. M
hmm okay, well m that's it. That's all I got. All right,
um, move, We're back around to you as you're standing over the
head splitted corpse of a spellcaster, and there's a man with a mohawk trying
to murder you. Stupid haircut human, give your last haircut of life.
At least I have hair. Fuck you? All right, I will cast
a booming blade yep, and let's see here. Here it comes orphan splitter,
a ten and an eighteen. Well, the ten does not hit,
Okay, the eighteen gets you there, all right? So he takes eight
slashing in five thunder, and then I activate my action surge, which gives
me a full other set of attacks. All right, well, fire when
ready, twenty three and sixteen. Oh he's dead, ern shit, So
he takes fifteen fifteen more? Oh yeah, no, you're good. You're
good. He did. It wasn't nearly as impressive as the melan bolt,
the melane exploding blow you heaped upon his spell casting counterpart, but you do
manage to orphan his children. Bring more corpses for a move to stand on.
Yeah, your interior decoration must be incredible. Well move, there's nothing
alive around you. Would you like to move? Move? Ah? Or
you can stay there and fuck the corpses whatever? Actually, come on,
why isn't Yeah, I'll come back to this. Uh, this dude,
because he's lived too long. Okay, well it's now his turn and he
does not agree with you. So he's gonna take his shot. He's not
going to throw it away, no show tunes. He does. He does
snatch up his he does snatch up his short sword. And I'm going to
guess that A ten and thirteen do not hit, you know, but the
twenty two will probably at least scratch, give you a little scratch. The
twenty two does hit. Well, that's gonna do. Yeah, that's gonna
do seven piercing and three poison m Okay, duke, And look there's a
pissed off half orc. Next two, a vegan half orc who is always
pissed off. We're gonna get some foul Orc on Orc action here. And
this is the most map one I've ever seen Monsters roll. Was he distracted
by the magnificent green tits? No? He just sucks. Okay, No,
don't give him an excuse. He just is terrible. Yeah. Also,
we don't know if he's straight valid, so yeah, but he misses
wildly. He misses so wildly that if he had a friend in the world
or one close by. He would possibly have injured said friend. And now
Georgina gets to take a shot, so she will swing at fifteen does not
break a C on the half work. So Georgina slams her warhammer into his
armor. But she doesn't get She doesn't hit solidly enough to do any damage.
And with her bonus action, she will mutter under her breath nasty things
about half works. I mean, it's a bonus action. You can do
whatever the hell you want with it. I heard that, na, She
said it under her breath, specifically for your benefit. Helda, it's your
turn there, there's a half work. There's a half work. Who's trying
to kill you in a dwarf that's insulting you, subtlety. Thy name is
not Hilda Swington. I believe it's time to drop a moonbeam on his fat
green ass. Oh I love moonbeam. You spend a lot of time worrying
about asses in this game, especially tonight. We know you know she's an
ass girl. That's nothing wrong with that, Okay, So that's a DC
fourteen con save that it is okay. Look, she's frustrated. She had
moog in her hands and could do nothing. Well, seemed like she did
about that with this moonbeam too, because he made his save. Takes a
half, I believe, all right, so half seven is four. Yes,
he'll take half for it, yep, succeeding, so yes, correct,
he looks up moon not out weird. Would you like to do anything
else, Hilda? I'd like to disengage. Sure, I guess moos like
stop brunning away from enemies that not our enemies die that with honor. That
may be the most specifically accurate thing Moogs ever said. Alrighty um on,
we're yes. What would you like to do? I would like to um
uh step forward and slash at him with my rapier one more time. Already
see what happens? Well? Who he should get advantage? Oh yeah,
I don't think you need much avantage starting off the three. That's advantage enough.
Right. There is that rolling. It's rolland come on, I rolled
you come on, roll twenty. You can do it. Puld a little
power to it. Don't give it too much power though it's it's struggling already.
And nine all right he is um sneak attack. Yeah, don't you
get sneak attack too, because he's yeah, but is that is that a
sneak attack since he can see me coming. Yes, it is a sneak
attack because he's engaged with one of he's within five feet of one of your
party members. Yeah, there's specific rules for sneak attack. Moog is very
very distracting. Basically, while he's trying not to die, to Moog,
you skewer him straight through his liver. Yes. Do you want me to
roll the damage of a sneak attack? Or is nine enough? Did?
It's already there? It's twenty seven? Okay, Oh I didn't see I'm
sorry, I'm looking at my character sheet. Oh, there it is.
Huh, nine was not enough? Twenty seven? However, like a hot
drops them like attack, and I mean it is, I mean exertion,
sweaty. It may be hot now for all you. Yeah, Trin Karen,
there's a half work left yep. And I'm just going to drop that
mace on him again, um, because he really pissed me off. Damn
it. Um, there we go. You know, if only someone had
written a book that prominently featured Dubstep in the plot. I know somebody might
have done that. Somebody might have, but uh, somebody who's trying to
hit Uh, a warrior wearing chainmail with a thirteen is not going to get
there. I mean, there's a big glowing and there was talk of course,
Bucky, there's a lot happening. Okay, exactly, I'm so distracted,
I just threw my pencil across the room. No, no cat,
no cat. It's mine between Role twenty and cats, yes and our natural
ridiculousness. Yeah, uh huh yeah, Gigi. Okay, I'm I'm gonna
toll him again. I mean, you don't think he got the I don't
think he did. Almost I'm told him again. Look, I don't like
using myself the limited resources, and these people aren't worth it. No,
same, Yeah, I have the intelligence stat Okay, I have the brain
cell. I just don't share it. I'm fairly certain right now. Husband
borrowed hers, all right, So that's a constitution. Say wisdom, save
bro, not twenty God be less wise. You shit, I'm not even
letting him take any damage because he's not twentyed that ship. Well he doesn't,
he cannot die. I am I am of the earfucker clan. Okay,
well I am annoyed, n if I am sending Gailly over there.
Oh okay, how does Gary attack? Uh? What did that? What
are those people that attack us have like a dagger? I mean he can
attack with his hat? Oh yeah, those people that attacked on the road.
Yeah, he's got whatever that guy he's got whatever that guy was wearing
when he died. All right, well he's got a short sword then,
okay, well he gets like no bonuses, so he does not hit,
but he's there to help with flanking for a Moog. He he is there,
and no, he does not hit, but I mean, look,
the dead guy has issues aiming. Yeah, that's he's he's so far he
has missed fewer times than the living half work. So yeah, that's that's
all right, I've sent I've sent Gary over to assist looping back around to
Moog. All right, does the zombie uff upper flank? Well, Georgina
does so well, but yeah the zombie does too. And I'll head over
eat here so we can just surround this motherfucker and moves like now half face
or face real orcan battle and he's like no, and Moog will take advantage
of his confusion to cast booming lead and let's see here eighteen and only a
fourteen. Um, you're still hashtag blessed, aren't you? I was never
blessed, was out of range. Okay, then the seventeen hits eighteen Actually
he's a he's eighteen also hits all right, so he does fifteen slashing and
three thunder all right, So the eighteen hits for eighteen, got it.
He's looking very still looking very healthy. Spin around, but he does spin
around, and he's he now has a target. You are too confused to
live, so moog, um, I'm pretty sure an eight misses you,
and I don't think of sixteen hits either, doesn't yep? Just Thursday,
as they light off his armor, it's like, yes, Moo can see
the fear. You know your life is coming at an end. I think
that's befuddlement, Moog. But okay, when you get to ANDRAK tell him,
moog, sn't you well with a gnat one on his wisdom check?
He's not smart enough to try to run away, So y'all, uh,
let's see Georgina orcoil. Georgina likes the She kind of likes the idea of
toll the dead, but she decides, nah, let's just get this over
with, Moog. Gary and the half orc all need to make a dexterity
saving throw fire coming move at sixteen. Well, that's good because it's thirty
one. Um, it's thirty one lightning damage or save for half so sixteen
will make the save. Fourteen also, how unfortunately makes the save, So
that's gonna be sixteen lightning damage. And she looks at She looks at the
singed move says sorry kind of a little. Remember this dwarf has to sleep
sometime, but moving this form never sleeps helda, I mean, there's no
other word for it. I am still dropping the moonbeam on his green ass.
Okay, and that's a con save DC fourteen con save. I know
he's a fucking orc. Yeah, so he saves like a boss, but
he still takes nine radiant damage. He does the very sky assaults me and
I prevail. Moog appreciates pathetic attempts by friends because it just prolongs Moog's enjoyment.
Dear God, as much as this is a fantasy of mine, will
something hot just die? End of turn TRN Karen, Okay, so I'm
noticing how Moog here is just swinging for the fences, but also like bleeding
profusely. So I'm going to walk back behind or run rather back behind Hilda
and around this confort conflagration enough that I don't provoke an attack of opportunity from
green face dude. And I'm going to end up behind Moog. Sure,
and I'm going to cast a level four cure wounds on him. Who goodness,
thirty one points of healing. That's a good touch. Get a boy,
Moog. She touched you and you're no no place and you liked it.
Now I'm going to go disinfected. Why why is mood bleeding less?
You're welcome on where crow? Yes, there's somehow still a living half work.
I left you a stabby spot open on his one blank. All right,
fine, I'll give it a shot. I'll slide on over and see
if I can stick my rapier in between the ribs. Alrighty, go for
the eyeball too for Yeah, that's Dicky will hit. Yes, yeah,
I am with eighteen eighteen no, yeah, eighteen okay eighteen yeah, sneak
attacks a mother. Um, yeah, he's hurting bad. You You did
get between the ribs. You did not, however, get the heart.
You may have gotten a major artery, but then we're gonna take to start
screaming. Now move will allow it. The half work looks between Moog and
everyone else, and he's like, I don't know if he's talking to me
or not, but hurts Gigi wells just blowing moonshine up his ass. He
basically all right, well I told him once, I told him twice.
I'm gonna eventually you're gonna tell him and he gonna hear something. Presumably one
day he will suck at being wise? Is the wisdom for you? Yeah,
well, roll damage, because this time he sucked at being wise and
you did not suck at doing damage. The sound of a bell reverberates through
the glen, and as he whirls in place, my cat is trying to
climb the back of my chair. My cat was was like fourteen pounds.
Now this is not going well for him, but it's going even worse for
this half orc whose head literally explodes. Finally, can I help you?
He picked the whole bundle of oopsy daisiest. They are potty. You can
sit there or you can leave. All right, Well, all right,
you have vanquished them. They there's a whole lot of corpses. Well,
Moo's gonna go back to the elf Jesus Christ, slice off the two halves
of her look and wear them over his own as a trophy him. Where
is going to carefully loot the bodies of valuable things before Mug decides to burn
them or something. Go to the supply cart and get those healing potions.
Yes, okay, are any of the bodies intact? Um? No,
the merchant. The merchant is intact DIABs that is the new Georgie. Okay,
I'll empty his pockets first, all right, Um, as you finish
up looting, you can. You can gather up all of your spoils of
war. You can. You can take yourselves a little short rest and raise
the dead and wear their face where their faces as a hat. Did I
hear someone was poisoned or that they just took poison? Damage there? Okay,
so I don't have to use lesser restoration. No, that's not It's
not like a long term, debilitating poison. It's just a this hurts more
poison, kind of like cayenne pepper on your blade. Oh, now,
come on, she wants to save Mood from something. Let her save him.
We have a lot more episodes. To go up for that. Yeah,
all right, that is where we're gonna call it for tonight. But
as you all know, just because we have stopped the game portion of our
night, that does not mean that we're finished. Because we have been taking
questions from the folks over on our discord where they have joined us on patreon
dot com slash Authors and Dragons and paid for the privilege of skipping the line.
Have I vamped long enough for you to call up questions? Rick?
Sure? Good? Okay, let's see here. Our friend Zach of all
Trades asks what is a horrible, no good, rotten, very bad habit
that you never, nevertheless desperately want to see happen. I don't think I
understand the question. What is a terrible? What is a horrible like you
know, thing that you want to see happen? Oh? Us or our
characters? Um, it's just spec I think it's for us. Okay.
If I say that, if I say that Thanos had to have the idea
for a good start, does that count? I mean I tend to sit
back and just let feton Karma do their job. So I mean I have
a list, but I don't want to um jink those things from happening.
Yeah, I guess the awful things I want are karma. Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna say that. You know, I would never advocate for anybody
being harmed or anything, but considering the state of the world right now,
especially with like the strikes going on. Um, if Guillotine started to make,
like, you know, make an appearance again, I wouldn't exactly argue
against them. They are really very simple to build. French protests. You
can argue all you'll like. Yeah, the French their protest which is just
delightful to me. Well, the French only stopped using them in the seventies,
right in the nineteen seventies. If Yeah, So that's the French for
you that they have. They had a great idea and then they surrendered.
They're so very you know, French. Um, I don't know. I
never try to wish harm on anything or anyone. Um. I do try
to fight the urge to giggle when something bad happens to someone who deserves it.
Um. But yeah, I am in general that obnoxious goody two shoes
that you probably would hate to be at next to a party unless I'm drunk.
There's a really ominous way of saying it though, you say, may
you get the Oh God, how do you say? May you get exactly
what you deserve? You get exactly what you deserve? Yes, yeah,
you have the fake you deserve. Yeah, we've been conditioned to be too
nice, and honestly, I think not. Yeah, I think we need
to normalize speaking ill of the dead. If the dead deserve it, Oh
absolutely, I just don't because usually I'm afraid I'm gonna jinx myself by being
about somebody else. You're gonna think yourself like, turning into a terrible person.
I don't do a shit what you say about me. When I'm dead,
I'm I'm not going to be paying any attention to you. I'll pay
less attention to you dead than I do now. And I know how long
some of you have waited for emails. Email responds. After her heartness goes
his graves and be covered in so much seamen, you'd think he was in
the navy. Me and me an aircraft carriers. Baby, I am that
guy that if I didn't want to be cremated, i'd say not bury me
face down so the whole world can kiss my ass. But as it is,
no, burn me, burn me, up and then put me in
and put me in a milkshake, poison my enemies with Mike. You know
something, if anything happens to you and somebody hands me a milkshake not too
long after, I am not drinking. Okay here, Martin, I've never
Oh god, Okay, actually I thought of I thought of a terrible,
terrible thing that I would find amusing if it happened, even though I don't
want Drew to suffer. But I would love to see Texas finally secede the
way they love to to threaten that they're going to do, and then have
to have to survive on their own without the help of the country. And
yeah, and take Florida. I'd really love to see Florida except all of
our Austin listeners from those states. Yeah, awesome, Yes, we will
bring you in. I will. You can camp out in Misty's backyard.
It's fine. Yes, there's and double especially if any of them are on
our Patreon or are attending Authors and Dragons Con this August eleventh, thirteenth.
And if you're not on our Patreon or attending Authors and Dragons Con, you
can buy your way into us. Wanting you to survive. Oh yeah,
we can be long. I always want you to survive. Just remember that.
But I am, you know, a Pollyanna. Our love is for
sale. I'm fairly certain our listeners would also go, yeah, Texas,
go ahead do it. I'm so but yeah, fun around and find out
Texas? Anybody? All right? Kind of reminds me of Twitter. I
will say, I am almost enjoying watching it explode Twitter. It's too soon
to say watching Yeah, Cat, what the hell are you doing? Kat?
Things? Is Gandalf licking his ball? He's licking his asshole on camera?
Thank you, butthole? But no, there are no balls on that
cast, Steve, Maybe just focus on that, Rick, Do we have
any more questions? Are we just gonna talk? Please? All right?
Our friend Kyle the Goof, asks if your game characters happened upon a convention
hall, say this August eleven to thirteenth, full of podcasts, slash D
and D fans, what would they do? For example, how would Moog
and the others interact with the people there? I think I have the easiest
answer, but I'm right behind you. Yeah. Recruit, Well, you'd
both be recruiting, just for different activity exactly, very different activities, and
I mean, we'd we'd have different definitions of what down mine meant, but
you know, to each their own exactly. Well, they would all be
human and would depend on how hungry Hilde was at this point, and if
anyone dared to, you know, not be a vegan in front of her
and give her an excuse, Moog, what would Moog do? Move?
Moog would look bairefully upon these weird people and their cardboard gods. It's not
a magic the gathering like a cardboard Rachel. They have cardboard me at the
last one. We had the real you at the last one. We definitely
need an extra Yeah, I know, but people kept throwing balls and cardboard
Rick's mouth, which is probably a good thing because real Rick might not have
enjoyed that. Yeah, would pretty much like go through that place, like
mowing the lawn. We just follow along behind Moog resurrecting your own little army
baby. Yeah, Gigi would probably enjoy wandering around and seeing what was happening,
and uh seeing making account of exactly how many long rests it will take
to restore spell slots to reincarnate everyone after Boog has finished with them all,
because it's gonna take a good number of a spell slots. So she's got
she's got a plan on how many she needs to uh, you know,
cast the whatever it is. Gentle, don't forget to leave some for the
buffet though. Well those will just be the skeleton part of the skeleton Army.
So we'll have the zombie army and then the buffet sections will become the
skeleton Army. Waste level of recycling. Yeah, you know cannibals and necromancers,
they are efficient. What can I say? We work well as a
team. That's why we're roommates that authors the original Recyclers. So yeah,
what that's saying really is, if Rachel and Judy asked you to come back
to their room and hang out and have a drink, don't go. Just
run. You're You're safer with Bevin and an open porn Hubby subscription. Let's
not go that far, all right, Um, let's un jump. One
just came in here, Um a request. Can we get a fuck you
for Kyle's brand new baby nephew, Owen, who was born a week ago?
Oh fuck you, Kyle. I think we're gonna say fuck you to
a baby? Oh wait, we always say fuck you to baby. You're
a week old. So here's your very first fuck you. Yeah, I
don't know his uncle's want our fans, it's probably not his first fuck you,
my first fuck you? All right? What do we got on the
Facebook? Um? Is that me? You want me to do it?
Okay? Um? On the Facebook? And we love our Facebook fans just
as much even though they don't throw money at us. But you know,
if you want to throw money at us, we'll love you more. Um.
So we love our Facebook fans like eighty eight percent as much. Yeah,
okay, yeah, I can. I can go with that. Well.
Greg Pettitt asked, can you roll up characters for Zuckerbird and Berg and
Musk and put them into a cage fight preferably on the island of Champions for
a side quest? No, we don't do at least, and I'm pretty
sure the fight would be this this thing? You know? So you watch
that? I mean we had we had fan Dingo in combat for seven years,
which is kind of the same thing. Can you yes? Will you
know that? Besides didn't, didn't Musk's mommy say that? He out much
more entertaining to watch the billionaires melt down online exactly. Okay, so there,
yes, the other question. The other question that we had was from
Deer. We take that one. Then, um, our friend, fuck
you, Mark? What goes? Our friend asks? Who? Seriously?
It was episode four before you all figured that out. He asks, what
is the look you expect me to pay attention to a quest when there's an
elf ask to appreciate? I mean it's ricks elf asked. So if theater
of the mind, theater of the my dear goddess degree in theater and my
imagination isn't that strong? Oh you're looking at anyway? Food Mark asks,
what is the first thing you you'd buy if you won the Powerball? I
don't want to win the power I really none of you would know, none
of you would hear from me. The first thing I would buy is a
burner cell phone. So when I text y'all to say I won the Powerball,
fuck off, You'll never hear from me again. You would not be
able to trace my ass. Yeah, I mean that's that's the realistic answer,
is like, you know, I would disappear from the grid. But
the facetious answer is, um, the company robos end that just today they
came out with a new transforming transformer, which is Grimlock of the Dinobots,
which is my favorite fucking transformer. And it's fifteen hundred dollars for this self
trans forming giant fucking lake, you know, toy, and under normal circumstances,
I'm not insane or rich, so unfortunately I can't get this. But
if I had that amount of fuck you money, you can goddamn well be
sure I would get that fucking thing. You know, if we have one
hundred and fifty people to give you each give you ten bucks, you'd have
one hundred and forty nine more people willing to give you ten bucks than most
days. Yeah, get on that. Oh great, instead of the cocaine
and beer funds, let's get Rick a time. Not that kind of fully,
not that kind of Hey, we don't kink shame, and we're not
asking him what he's doing with grim Block, because for fifteen dollars, I'm
doing whatever a fuck I want for fifteen hundred dollars, just don't record it,
no video. M I I thought I was horrible for having a one
hundred and fifty dollars snorlax bean bag. I mean, let's not yeah,
or or magic cards. Magic we don't want to discuss the the twenty thousand
magic cards sitting in my office. Well, and I gave you like ten
thousand of you or my aquarium? Oh yeah, whatn't counting those? Yeah?
All right, let's do one more if we have one more, um,
we have one more on the discord. Yeah, so here's here's one
from our friend Heinus Lizard, which is, what would you like the fans
to do at a d coon to troll the cast members who are not on
that on this quest aka not us um. I think that it would be
fun if our fans went up to all of the non Quest for Competence cast
members and tell them how much they really enjoyed all of the free copies of
each of their books that they got from from subscribing to Quest for Competence.
I'm not giving you fuckers any free books, but you just say it.
Yeah, scare them today. I think everyone should do their best English accent
to make Steve feel more at home. English people love Americans doing. You
guys are so nice because I was going to say we secretly replaced all of
Bob's bud light with cans of sealed warm piss. How long will notice or
will it take him to notice? Yeah, cars only three days long.
Nobody would ever, We wouldn't get to the answer. I mean you could
always say, Rachel messages about all the private stories that we've told about her.
I'm actually there though, we can still do it. Yeah, it
is true. All right. That's that's us for tonight, So thank you
all for joining us. We will see you in a couple of weeks for
Quest of Competence, and we will be back next week with some kind of
random bullshit on a side quest. So until then, Bye bye. Autors
and Dragons brought to under Creative Commons license, meaning you were free to share
this terry. It's so long as credit is given to those who created,
which is us. People. You just heard to play the game opening and
closing themes performed by the Gore Core four. Wouldn't you like to fly in
your mugaful mugaful balloon.