So he sees that there is pasta. He does not want the pasta.
He begins storming around the boat and goes up to the captain's quarters and says,
there's no food for me. I'm gonna wait. I will not speak
to Jack if that's what you're asking me. Are you asking me to do
that? I will not speak to Jack. I'm going to wait. I'm
going on a Mahatma Gandhi hunger strike because there's no food. And equally bizarrely,
Sandy is like, Hey, I don't like liars. Liars, what
are we even? The truth is completely irrelevant? Sandy, Sandy, he
is He's spinning out of control. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of
another bullow of podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm sild up next to
one Patrick Kicky. Permission to come aboard? Grand Ed's up? Ruby?
Hey, Del? Not enough fanfair right? Not enough fan fair joining us
from across the states. Uh? And there are ponds there too. Is
my sister, she's home for the holidays. It's it's wicked that she's here.
And it's Ruby. Hey, Del, how's it going well? Not
great? Why not Del? What is happening to me right now is a
fit of allergies that makes me feel like I am going through some kind of
Egyptian burial ritual. I feel as though my brains are liquefying, and they're
coming out of my eyes and they're coming out of my nose. And I'm
gonna go to bed tonight and I'm gonna wake up in a thousand years and
I'm gonna be a shape shifter and I'm gonna go after Brendan Fraser. I
don't feel good right now, and tragically, I will be very scared of
cats. I thought you were gonna do that Tom Cruise one, you know,
because he's a bigger star than Brendan Fraser. I would never do that.
Oh that movie was a piece of shit. I would never do that.
A knock sooner Moon And I'm sorry that you're leaking and that you feel
like you're being embalmed. So, guys, we have below deck to talk
about rather lackluster episode. But pat, what makes every episode great? Someone
you hate, someone you hate, and we hate Billy because he's a paniass
and he's rude any short uh in height or speech? Both okay, but
we got to get some PSAs out the way down. All right, So
below deck is taking a two week hiatus hiatus because we have Christmas the day
Jesus was born, and the New Year is the following week, and and
episodes will start a roll in the sometime, a jam you imagine giving birth
on Hey, absolutely not. You know, my son played baby Jesus at
church this past Sunday. This is you want to talk about the power of
Jesus. H I grabbed my kid after there's a line out the door.
They wanted to see who his baby Jesus was so cute, did you charge?
He took a ship right while it was in my arms. I felt
bad for the people. He's been doing a lot of that. We changed
his formula and they wanted to see the baby that played bababy Jesus. He
was a star. Uh huh do they know that he is? Well?
Good job? Although you know who who knows? He can't even talk yet,
so he may be a little tiny prophet. You got there, Jamesesel
he played Jesus. He was Jesus. We're not talking about acting here,
though, Pat, We're talking about the end times. We're talking about a
messionic figure that is shitting himself while you cradle him. Well, anyway,
PSAs start the new year off, we're going to do vander Pumper roles.
We don't know where we're putting that yet. Do you tell anybody at church?
So you don't believe in any of the Hawkaymamy? Shit? Can't?
I don't, But I have to tell you this, Dylan, we don't
think it's I think it's beautiful on a Sunday, Pat has a splinter sell
in those pews. I don't know where I stand. I'll say this though,
I'm starting to like church, and I realized why. It's the only
time four an hour and a half that no one's bugging me. I just
sit there and just kind of meditate. Yeah, some nice music, it's
beautiful. The pastor, Pastor Jonathan's a complete moron. He couldn't put together
a good story if it fell on his lap. He did like a twenty
minute rant on mustard seeds like three weeks ago. It's a complete idiot.
I want to help him. You should take some writing classes. Can I
tell you? I went to the Saint mel Christmas concert and it was beautiful.
My mother in law, my sister in law, and my nephew made
up three generations of singers that it's really wonderful, and they saying I believe
Silent Night. And outside of that moment, I mean, it was absolute
misery. And I was going down the program how long? I was like,
all right, we're getting through this. Here comes Santa Claus, Here
comes Santa Claus. Next one jingle bells Bell Choir is going to come in
here, and then we get to a Christmas Medley. Oh god, I
mean this should be illegal. You can't. I've timed this out. I've
gotten through six songs. I think I know when this is going to be
wrapping up, and then we've got the Christmas Medley. Christmas Medley added about
seven minutes. Now I'm in the twilight zone. I don't know where I
am. I don't know how long. I can't trust anything. I bet
in many ways that Medley was very much like this episode. Ah thanks on
entertaining all right, PSAs so Vander pump rolls in the beginning of January ninety
day the Single Life. Those are the two shows I believe that the team
has agreed to recap in twenty twenty, and many of you have said,
don't go there it's quicksand well, we've got snorkels, and we like to
sink. We'd love sinking. And I am probably a little bit too high
because it's six minutes into the show and we haven't gotten to the second psa.
Oh what's second psa? Do we have a second PSA? No?
I don't think so. Okay, so we're on the right track and it's
time to get to thoughts and pots. I went to a Jewish baby naming
ceremony recently, and I would like to say that, although I don't necessarily
do the religious part of it, I think that looking around those beautiful,
big big rooms with all the big big people in there and their spirit and
their children, it's actually very very nice. And maybe it's the holidays,
maybe it's just I don't know, no, no, no, But to
the people that do it, because they do believe in the religiosity, we
do too, and it's beautiful too, happy, belated, honey. Nothing
better, nothing better than to look Nietzschee right in his fucking face and say
no yeah. Also not just a really quick side note, The Mayor of
New York City was there for some reason I don't know why, and he
was giving a speech, and he started off the speech Eric Adams, by
telling the Jewish people of the synagogue what he thinks the Jews in the world
are doing wrong. Okay and below deck. Wow, thanks Eric, appreciate
it. He'll be out soon, right probably, Yeah, so good try
thoughts and pots is this? It was fun, It was chaos. It
was the worst of Toomey, the worst of Max. I think quite a
bluff from Kyle. I know these are your thoughts, but I thought Toomey
didn't have a bad episode. But I guess I'll have to look at my
notes. I watched this particularly vicious. I've been talking to her. She's
going to come on the shows. Oh really yeah, lowercase v vicious Yeah,
lowercase. I mean that that word is in the middle of the set
in somewhere, and the other words are compliments. Can I tell you something?
So we talked to the sea rats quite a bit, and there's been
occasions where sea rats have reached out to Dylan and I and asked us politely
to stop talking about sixty one pots. To me, on the other hand,
I've talked massive shit about her. She has been so gracious with my
criticism of her. Well, Patrick. Her father was murdered before she had
to do a dance recital, so she's very pretty tough. She's a toughah
lowercase be good bitch. Yeah, I mean bitching like a flyway and like
a friend. That's way. That's how I took it. What were you
going to say, Ruby, Nothing? I pods. I think that everyone
is falling apart at the seams. I think this reminds me of like the
third session of Summer Camp, when everybody is so tired, systems are down,
you have no energy left. Everybody wants their own bed and tired of
the commissary. Yeah, I'm sick of the commissary. I want to take
a shit in my own bathroom where I be on my phone and not have
to worry about Captain Sandy coming in. And that's where they are. And
then Billy is the fucking charter guest. So I'll keep on theme. Prices
right, sixty two pots? Sixty two pots? Okay. I am happy
that we are getting a little reprieve from watching the show and recapping it.
This was one of the worst episodes of the season. If you're asking,
oh great, got it? Yeah, you know, Max unrivaling at the
tail end, as you guys pointed out aptly. You know, he's just
it's he's tired, yeah, possibly a little hungover. Well, and also
he's like on he's like on European mushrooms just all the time. Yeah,
yeah, he's talking to walls. Natalia is on the show more than Haley,
Yes, which is interesting. Uh, Natlia is on the show interesting
Chef Jack well, because people that are too normal often don't get a lot
of screen time, and Haley is not normal. She's out of her mind.
Well yeah, she hates an eaters who Yeah, but it rings to
mine. A girl we called the weird One. I think her birth name
was Kelsey from last year Curly was on the show. She's pretty good at
her job. Yeah yeah, I remember her. I want those kind of
sea rats here, we want fun ups. Okay, that's what makes good
television anyway. Billy being a pain in the ass is wonderful because I I
just I can't actually put my finger him being short with people. And then
I think he had another guest that was like really short of I'm excited to
talk about Matthew because Billy is the kind of he is the the big villain
on the on the billboard. Careful, but Matthew is the one with the
silhouette in the back. And you got to look at the poster a couple
of times to realize, Oh, actually he is the one pulling all of
the shoe strings, tying the shoe tight, making everybody bad. Yes,
all right, terrible outing. I'll give this a four knots. Wow,
good Ruby, you delivered yours right, yep, And the correct answer was
seventy one. Actually pretty high ranking. Ruby wins a Ford Focus. So
you will have to pay taxes on that. It'll cost you thirteen to seven.
Oh my god. So one last ride, everybody, One last ride.
Those were my notes for Winter House. Well, let me help you.
We begin with one of those employee reviews, and that's Captain Sandy with
Lily. Yeah, and it's less of an employee review and more of a
threat of termination. Yeah, but it comes off it's it's kind of like
faked as a Tony Robbins kind of you know, prep pep talk, you
know. Oh yeah, but it's definitely if you don't get shit together,
your fucking fire. Yeah. Like, if this were a corporate setting,
she would be put on a performance plan and then fired immediately afterward, you
know, but it's not. It's a boat with no laws or rules.
That's what happens is Captain Sand. He does that, and Sandy pretty much
exists in conference room B of the Marriotte. You know, that's like her
entire sit down, Sit down. You have a piece of paper in front
of you and a pen. Okay, all right, First off, we
want to say we'd love you as a person. I want to I want
you to write out the things that you find most challenging about this position.
Okay, just like right now, like how do I write? Like you
to go ahead right in front of me. I'm gonna grab a coffee,
okay, I'm and I'll be back. Maybe a muffin too. We had
one of those people have us in a room and they said, okay,
here's a pen, here's a piece of paper. I want to see how
many lines you can draw that are straight in under a minute. Right what
yes, this was for you. It was me and four other people.
So we're like, okay, boss. So they hand me the pen,
they go go, and I just start going. I just start drawing lines,
and then this knuckle ahead next to me just start scribbling. Like,
you know, he's lost his mind. And at the conclusion, they said
you you did the best, Mario, because you were thinking out of the
box. I didn't give you any rules. I just said more lines.
Oh. The rest of you felt like you were kept in some kind of
box. Uh huh. Were you either applying for the CIA or at a
Monassori school insurance company? And my job was to do data entry and that's
what they were putting me through and that's why insurance is fucked. Yeah,
so, and I hate this, but let's just go ahead and automate,
right, Let's just go ahead an automate, yes, or let's not do
the creative inspiration drills for data entry, right, because people are just trying
to get through the day without killing themselves. I remember I'd thank God for
Fantasy football, and I saved the lives of so many how many people you're
right doing? I did do. I would do one hour of actual work
a day. I'd wrap up my entire workday, and my supervisor, Barb
would say, member, Pat, She'd say, yeah, you got to
keep your job. You got to stretch this out a little bit. Yeah,
yeah, you're making the rest of us look bad. Was that actually
what she said or did she take the form of like a little person on
your shoulder. She told me job security slow down? Okay, got it.
So Lily is told that she sucks, and I hate to beat up
on Lily, but when she says, like, trust me, you haven't
seen what I'm capable of, I mean we kind of have. Here's my
question also for Lily, if that's true, why not? Yeah, what
are you waiting for? Why are you hiding for? It's just beds?
Oh yeah, so don't hide anymore. Lily, give us everything you've got
those beds as well as you can, or else you're fired. And to
be fair to her, she really did. Round a corner of this episode.
Oh silly took that master's degree. She filled the tank with it and
she got to go in. I was gonna mention that at my thoughts and
not because it gets brought up when Sandy breaks the news to Toomey that she
stay this is this is the lowercase viviciousness that I was talking about. Are
you gonna pull something up there, Roobs? No, No, I'm not.
Oh okay, Well, Sandy gives to me the good news, or
she thought it was good news. She says, despite Lily being absolutely incompetent
and effective useless. Uh, she has a little something Sandy calls character.
Yeah, when she's picking sea rats. You know, you can always teach
a sea rat how to fold bed linens into a in the shape of a
penis, you know, but you can't teach a nasty little sea rat how
to be nice, right you can. It's character. Yep, yep,
yep, yep. Skills can be taught on boats. Character cannot correct.
Louca mounts Jess and then we get to now to me saying that she is
a little bit bummed because she was hoping that Lily would get fucked. You
can't. And that's that kind of thing that you were talking about earlier on
in the season that you know, it's it's Toomey's first rodeo. You know
how people say this isn't my first rodeo, you know, And it's usually
people who say that in like a really kind of cheesy, almost unapplicable way,
with confidence, this is my first, right right right right. Like
The perfect example of the kind of person that would say that is to the
people who are making the burrita bowl at Chipotle, and they say guac costs
this much, and they say, this isn't my first rodeo. It's exactly
like that. What was I This is Toomey's first rodeo. Yep. And
because of that, she doesn't quite and and to those wondering, I will
not be asking this question of her when we talk to her. But she's
not really embracing the team aspect of it. So she would much rather have
Lily just go away rather than kind of invest in her and make her better.
I think also a lot of that is because again, everyone's tired.
It's really long, it's been too long, and everyone wants a nap,
and she would rather just give Lily a gift card to the grocery store instead
of trying to teach her how to fish. At this point, let's get
to the press mating. We've got a repeat charter. Boo boodhity doot doo.
It's a repeat charter. Boo bootity doot doop. It's also a redemption
charter. Yes, Starn and his hosting stabilizers nearly fucking killed everybody. I
wonder if TJ. Lavin would be incredibly annoyed by Sandy, or if you
would be like, I fucking love sand. Now he would love sand,
he would love sand. And I think TJ. Labs would have a great
time on one of these one I would love. I would love yep to
see TJ. Lavin on below deck just about ship, he plead, And
you know what, he would anywhere on that teak He would use only toilets
to pisson show. Oh yeah, and he wouldn't get out of control.
And now he's so grateful for all of the Pecanya, but not Billy.
Billy runs a marketing agency. Last time the boat almost capsized in the Brazilian
steakhouse. Nope, let's sell. You always tell me you gotta take it
slow, slow down, got slow down? What's on? Night one?
Del the boat almost capsized less time than there was no slide. It was
held up in customs because I think there was heroin in it. Night one
will be a Brazilian steakhouse dinner with local Brazilian Italian dancers, because that's something
that they asked for. They also ask for a big gay breakfast the next
morning, and Jack says he's going to be ordering the most expensive caviaar.
This should be good. Now. Kyle is suffering right now. And he
said that word. And I understand him using that word, but the way
Kyle says that word makes my eyes roll, you know. Yeah, you
know what I mean, I do do. It's like a hashtag on an
Instagram post. It is. I don't want to call Kyle out on being
ill. You know, it's rude and cynical of me to say that he
was faking it. I think he needed a couple of days. Yeah,
a little personal Yeah, but that's not allowed on boats, you know,
Like like if you I have a question, pat over the last has a
question? Quick quick cue for Patty over the last few I don't know months
since your second child came into the world, would you have loved to just
maybe take a day or two to yourself, to just be by, just
for or even just a couple act just let me be alone. Yeah,
but that's not allowed because you have a family. Let him answer, Let
him answer. Oh no, she's nailing it. My wife and I are
at each other's throats because neither one of us have had one minute to ourselves,
right, So it must be nice Kyle take your fake No. I
mean he's suffering and we don't know if he was faking right, and that's
not and I'm extending grace to him, especially if he was. And I'm
sorry, Yeah, we're sorry if you were. Man. Yeah, no,
we really are. And like, look at me. I mean I'm
barely mummified right now, and I'm here, you know, just making all
the sense in the world. I'm doing my best, exactly. He's going
slow, and I'm doing my best. Look at look at you sound drunk.
Look at Haley being ill and vomiting everywhere. And then then then Kyle,
same thing. One of them is enraging and the other one. You're
like, oh, well, speaking of Haley as a stomach bug. So
we're a woman down there. Luca doesn't seem to mind. He's just squeezing
Laura's ass and he's putting Max on late and Max says, no, no,
no, it's these bods for my cookie. It's like what what And
he's like, I might cook you know how if I stay late, And
then he like dances on the floor. It was so incredibly wild. Yeah,
So we move on. Max is pulling hairs from Lily's face, I
think, and Kyle is still down. To me, admits that Kyle being
down as a problem because she's left left with Jess and Lily and says I
tried to get Lily fired twelve hours ago. And this is where I'm saying
lowercase V. But I mean that's just absolutely vicious. You know it was
great though. Yeah, all right, so Billy's charter is not looking good
and they are on their way. Question for these handsome, rotun gay gentlemen,
if you had this bad of an experience the last time, why are
you coming back? Well, Dell, are we talking fourth Wall production?
Are we talking reality? If these were the circumstances that were handed them the
last charter. I don't understand the question, but I'm going to go with
the first part. I think they're just liking being on TV fans. That's
the correct answer, because you'd never pay full price for for a second time
based on what they experienced the first time. Those goddamn stabilizers nearly fucking kill
them. Yeah, I mean, there was glass flying everywhere, there was
no slide, and if you didn't have a impetus or desire to market your
shitty real estair or marketing agency on Bravo, you would say for years and
years and years and years and years at dinner parties and cocktail parties and whatnot.
Want to hear about the worst vacation of my life and you would never
ever go back, no belabored, but you know, I do want to
remind the audience. We had a fun interview with Lada and she had said,
with all her experience of working as a DECKI generally that goddamn slide it
sucks because they do all that work. It takes like twenty minutes to blow
it up, twenty minutes to suck it back in, and people go down
at once. Yeah. Yeah, I would go down it at least five
times. I have to. I would have it. But it was so
fun going down a big slide like that. Yeah. I think also though,
if you I think that people don't get creative enough with it. If
you're really there, and I mean you're kind of try to cartwheel down it,
are you kidding? And there's the net so you can't really hurt yourself
as you're flying off it. Let's fucking go. Yeah, I get as
much steam as you can take a running start dive and they're like no,
no, no, you can't do that, and you're like, oh sorry,
sorry, boom, you're already right right, getting naked? Why not,
so Marguerite is to welcome them aboard. They're already shitting on the decor,
mocking you know how bad it was last time. I mean, these
guys, they're just sassy as fuck, all right. So it's a new
charter. You got to come in with a fresh attitude. Not for these
ones, not these guys. Not for these guys. So he's one of
the few. I'm sorry, he's one of the people that every once in
a while we geteople like this that they have a business, and you say
to yourself, why did you tell us that? Because the only thing you're
doing is making me hate you. Yeah, and never and promised myself that
I'll never use your business ever after, ever in my life. The whole
one, it's like Erica and Zacly Chuck. Yep was that her name?
Yes, Erica Rose, Erica Rose. And he gets on the zoom with
us, and he's like, I've had five hundred thousand clicks on my Google
and it's like, Chuck, Chuck, people are trying to find your dress
so that they can hurt you. Do you know what docs is? Chuck?
So Jack is good at cooking meat. He is not worried about the
pecanya in any way, shape or form. Now, Jill what prompted him
giving a little history of his meat cooking expertise. The charter guests make their
way down to the galley, and I haven't seen this before. They already
let the chef know what they're how they'd like their steak cut medium plus.
Yeah. I thought that was a little premature. Don't In most settings like
this, you'd be asked how you'd like your stay cooked, and then that
would be right before dinners. No, I mean me and Rubs. I
mean pretty much every time we walk into a restaurant, we tell the matre
d be it Sizzler or Mussa's, that we're gonna head back have a quick
combo with the chef. Oh right, right, right, of course,
because it's important to kind of just lay everything out on the table. But
Jack says that he's really really good at cooking steak. He worked at an
American steakhouse and they flashed a photograph with a branded knife that said medium rare.
The restaurant was called medium rare. And if you call your steakhouse medium
rare, it'll be closed. It'll be closed soon. And if COVID.
I mean it'll just be COVID or no COVID. It's gonna be bad done
into Yeah, so that's just not good. Can I do it? Meanwhile?
Here, yeah, you want to go to medium rare tonight? Honey,
maybe have sex out her? No? Meanwhile, meanwhile to me,
radio's Lily. Because she asked her how much time it's going to be before
she's completed the laundry, and Lily does something here that drives me nuts.
She responds with the non answer, She's the irons aren't hot right now.
This is how this affects me in my regular life. She was speaking in
metaphor. All right, it's a non answer. This is how this happens
to me in my daily life. I call my wife, II, Honey,
what time should I pick up dinner? My wife answers, well,
Ellie's eating cheddar bunnies right now, and then I'm headed to target. Perfect.
That answer clarified everything. Thank you. I hated this so much and
I couldn't tell if Toomey said into the radio, that's not helpful. I
need minutes, and I don't think she did. And that broke my heart
because she would have been so in her right to do it. You know,
yeah, we get a little bit of Sea Red history, Lily's fan.
I mean, this makes just the most sense in the world. They
started an escape room business. I don't think it's a franchise yet. And
she also has a master's degree from the u of B University of Bristol in
environmental policy and management, which naturally means Sey rat. Well we have why
are you a sea Rat's what's happening? It's a great point we've had.
We've had some nuclear physicists working on the It doesn't always guarantee that you know
how to make a cocktail or or spots some railing. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. You know, Sam from season one of Below Deck is genuinely one
of my least favorite sea rats we've ever spoken to. We talked to her
twice, and when I had to delicately talk about how she was lying about
being a genius in physics, I was gas lit by her and I couldn't
press because it's insulting to question a young woman's education though she's not that young
anymore. But she was lying about that. The entire time, You've triggered
a thought in line, Dylan and I recorded, we keep talking about still
have not edited. Okay, Dylan, why don't we This is why you
should go over to Patreon dot com. We did not want to post this
episode because it's such a train wreck. It's Sam and who's that other crazy
person from that season? I don't remember. Okay, another person that was
on that season. I don't know what the hell she was talking kalapin probably
Dyl. Do you think we can possibly have that as a special bonus episode?
Yeah, maybe by the end of the year. Yeah, that'll be
a Patreon dot com. I mean, it was a train wreck, my
god. But the Sea Rats nowadays they play along a little bit better because
they're kind of shrinking back into having little to know. Relevance hasn't quite gotten
them to the pill bottle yet. But ogc rats, I mean, Mike,
God, I mean it's bad. It's really bad. Sorry, that's
my roommate. Oh how old are you? It's just dark, it's so
dark. You blur out my address. Yeah we didn't say your adress.
You said you live in Virginia. Has I don't know people looking for me?
Okay, we will be sure to do that. Were you It's like,
are you on pharmaceuticals or did you become a spy? And and also
and also Denise Richards, thank you for your parents speaking of what are you
on? Thank you, thank you for what you did. Thank you so
much. Oh I love that you brought that up, because we're going to
bring up a Housewives reference from Beverly Hills in this next scene lunch service A
you okay if we get to this. Okay, I knew these guys.
We're basic when I when I heard this, one of the requests with the
caviat is that it'd be on a baked table. Kathy Hilton did it.
It's good for everybody. You can just put it on a goddamn laze potato
chip, you idiot, Yeah, same thing. Uto. So so many
things about this make me so angry, but I do want to just get
back really quickly to Denise Richards being on valium at Kyle's marijuana dinner. I
want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to UH Stormtroopers star
Denise Richards, but also to Dree who really doesn't offer much by way of
being a housewife, but that moment was so unbelievably special. Yepally, I
think your jackets upside down. Don't do this, don't do this. I
know you know what you're doing, and I'm not going to do this right
now. What I'm not? You know, you think your jacket's on upside
it's not. I see what you're trying to do. And I know I
want to bring this up because I've worked in Beverly Hills with a bunch of
rich people for twenty years. This is pretty common. But this is at
home. Oh yeah, you know, the kids are at school, there's
a bunch of nannies. Sure, this is Denise when she knows it's a
filming day. Yeah, okay, yeah, oh yeah, don't start this
when you're looking at Erica Jane and Erica Jane and you as an audience member
are sitting there having the same thoughts, and that thought is what is she?
What's good? What are you talking about? What? What are you?
If you want to rewatch the show that we're on, you can and
then call me. But you didn't. You know, it's all filmed,
all right? So back to below deck. Oh yes, lunch service,
it's not going well. The hogs are not thrilled that they do not have
the pontaneous baked potato that they've asked for. Anybody who knows anything about cooking
knows that baking a potato takes conservatively seven and a half hours. They're very,
very stubborn vegetable, and to just go ahead and ask for a spur
of the moment baked potato is quite literally fucking insane and out of line.
Secondly, get me in at chief stew because any chief stew who doesn't know
to tell Jack to just make some potato chips or open a bag of lays
and go high low with these people, they will slop it up like the
ant eaters that Haley hates. It's so much delicious. Yeah, caviar on
a Lais chip is delicious. Yeah, from fresh on that puppy. They
didn't give a shit about the potato. They just wanted to do it and
have a moment, and they they passed their test. They were correct.
Do put ice in that caraff if you're going to serve caviaar because it makes
no sense with it being in some kind of indoor skydiving chamber, you know
what I mean, That just doesn't make any sense. Matthew, the real
bitch of the episode, says that he needs some more flatwear, and just
who says that? Who says flatware? Also, here's my question, Matthew
one, here's what There's no way that Toomey or whoever set this table up
misjudged the number of people that we're going to sit down. So what piece
of flatware? Matthew, do you need another one of that? Everybody else
doesn't, I mean, make room for that potato. But they were also
correct in that good service means plate clearing. It just does. That's what
good service is. The clear plates. Okay, you don't have column and
meatballs on the same plate as you have the other thing you're eating, okay,
which is guacamolean. So Lily is getting better and she is doing laundry
really good. Pat Big. Meanwhile, meanwhile, that was not framed correctly.
I was wondering if you had one. Oh. The department heads discussed
dinner. Lucas happy to know Toomey's on top of things because she had ordered
that the local Brazilian dancers, yeah, would need to be coordinated their pick
up there exactly. Meanwhile, Sandy is loving the deck team and she thinks
Luca is a great leader. Yeah. And meanwhile, the crew prepares for
dinner now. Yeah, and Max is exiting the galley in a way that
Jim Carrey would in one of those stupid pet detective movies. Sidebar, Jim
Carrey was in two movies a year for the first twenty years that I was
on the earth. Uh huh kind of disappeared. Yeah, he was.
You know what did it? It was that movie where he was crazy.
He's been writing in the diary a lot. Oh twenty three number twenty three
three. Yeah, I loved him carry. I think that was like kind
of we didn't see Jim Carrey a lot after that. Yeah, he slowed
down, definitely, he slowed down. But everybody go watch Liar Liar,
because boy oh boy, that's definitely just just a classic, you know,
absolute classic. But Dinner is going to be but Kanya and Jack says,
you know, when he's talking about how his skills with cooking steaks are just
top top notch, he says that he employs or implores whatever the word is,
a SOUVB method. Now, Jack, you are a great chef.
We've been complimenting your food all season, unless it's bad, in which case
it's not your fault. It's just the palette of people that go on this
vacation. Anybody can cook a steak well in a water path. I mean,
it's just set it and forget it, you know what I mean.
And I don't know if Pekanya is really the kind of steak that you want
to do that too, you know. I mean, this is rock salt
and high flame kind of kind of me, you know what I mean.
There's gonna be Yuka fritters and also dessert is going to be bananas and caramel,
and I don't think the guys are gonna like it very much. But
Kyle is still very much down and he makes a call here he's at a
Robert Frost kind of fork, get up and go to work or continue with
the milking. He opts to get in a double O seven kind of tender
ride over to the hospital where he will remain for the day. In Jessica
slash Anne is quote shocked. Yeah, yeah, Now, I don't really
blame Kyle because if I was feeling like absolute shit and these were the people
that I had to wait on, yeah, ally ship, same community whatever.
I just do not have the big gay energy right now. I cannot
fucking do it. So Lily is doing much better, and Luca continues to
shove his tongue down Jess's face. Now they as Jessica lets us know she's
starting at catch feelings for Luca, and she's a little worried where this relationship
could go. Answer nowhere, because, as is the usual arrangement with sea
rats on these boat mats's, the sea rats are never on the same page.
Uh huh. Luca views the relationship as a pump and dump, right,
and and Jessica is picking out rugs for their apartment. Yes, you
guys, go ahead, because I want to promote our YouTube channel by pulling
up a comment about jess that was just the funniest thing. Oh sure,
yeah, go ahead, all right. Dancers are picked up in Lara what
she sees. Laura lets us know she'd like to learn how to dance from
the local Brazilian dancers and in return, she'll scissor them. Yeah, good
trade. Yeah. I love Laura, me too. She's just fantastic and
she works so hard and she can make whatever sexual jokes and comments she wants
and they're fine because I love her. There's some people that can just get
away with it. Yeah, you guys, talk about this a lot that
how a lot of the homosexuals on the show can just be like, oh
my god, you fucking slut. Your tits are fucking huge, you big
girl. And you're like, whoa one. You just called her big,
You refer to her breasts as tits, and you called her a slut and
it's fine, Andy Dick. Yeah, okay, so I love this comment
and check out our YouTube channel and another blowdeck podcast. And the reason I
pulled this up is because Luca is treating Jessica like a CPR dummy, you
know, like it's just really really quite a shame to see what we're seeing.
But Arizona forty eight wrote, what the fuck why are you guys attacking
Natalia? This is from some time ago. What they did to her was
awful, agreed and ugly. Jessica is one of the worst ones too,
and I wrote this is an insanely ironic comment. So yeah, I get
in the mixed comment comment. We love to hear from you guys. Okay,
so Laura picks up the local hot Brazilian dancers, like you guys mentioned
they want to scissor and then at some point Luca asks where did they find
these women, and I have quite literally the same exact question. I mean,
good on to me forgetting these people, because I wouldn't. I mean
Neil and a haystack fairy people that answer the phone whenever, whoever the fuck
on all these seasons, they're like, hi, there, we have charter
guests coming in an hour and a half, and we need three time of
suses in one trapeze artist and a genie got it? Okay, yeah,
four double sided dildos, right, and they all show up some time.
So steak is on its way up medium. Well, the cook that the
primary asked for will be up in about fifteen minutes. And that's just genius.
That's galaxy brain type stuff from Jack and Toomey. Toomey offers him the
medium rare steak and he takes a piece and Toomey and her OTF says,
he heard me, he saw the steak, and he still picked it up.
Well, Toms, Tomeister was the only food available, so I think
it was it was kind of a little all of our kind of thing where
he just he didn't have any other food to eat, so that's why he
took the steak. Maybe next time, just send both things up at the
same time. If we've got medium, well plus and we've got medium,
are just hey, just bring them both up at the same time, right,
because that's just insane to not do that. The problem is not the
primary though. The problem is Matthew. I mean, he will really really
flap his evil, evil wings the next morning, but you can just see
he's scoffing. He's disgusted with everything. Like you know, he eats its
spago on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Now, I don't know if Matthew
was on the previous charter with those stabilizers almost took everybody out. Yeah,
but he gets a little thing stuck in his craw initially and then it's it
just keeps growing. And oh what happened? She flicked a that Yeah,
she flicked a mosquito. Uh. They say their mediocre, Their dinner is
mediocreas and that's kind of what it was. You know, love you,
Jack, but that was probably forty one pot dinner. Dessert was magnificent to
me. Now knows that people need time, having seen Lily turn a corner
and realizes that firing her probably wasn't the right move because in yachting. The
bar is so low that most human beings, given two to three days can
figure it out. Well, dyll, let me break Let me break down
this realization from Tommy because it was quite deep. Letting her have the time
to get better. Turns out a little practice can help someone get better at
something. Move over, Tony Robbins, alright, Tommy has a self helped
am. I right, conference room. Here she comes, here, she
comes. Do you have your wristbands? We get to Katie Flood. Oh
my god, she tacks Luca. He's got quite a few plate spin in
this dude. So many irons in so many fires, so many countries.
He's a hot little sexy boy all over the world. Real quick though,
Before we get to the glitter party, the fat guy falls down the stairs
and it's more of a slip, it's not a real fall, and the
primary asks him if he is okay, to which he replies, I think
so you are okay. Yeah, there's no thinking about it. You're fine.
It's nothing to be that about, right, it's just funny. It's
just fun maybe twisted a hammy. Yeah, when you walked away, you
should have known that it was fine. I think so you know. So,
So we get to the glitter party, Max is told to do dishes.
He is not happy. Kyle is on land for the night, and
we hit the sheets. We rise for the next day to another text from
Natalia and we get ready for a big gay breakfast? Can I just say
something really quickly? And Dylan makes fun of the way that I text because
I text the way that I speak lungs. I don't. I'm not gonna.
And I say to him, what do you hey, what's up?
Yeah? Nothing? What the fuck is that? Why? I'm not doing
that with anybody, with anybody, never text me, hey, never text
me if you don't have a reason to text me, do that. These
people text so shortly, I would think everyone was mad at me all the
time. When I think it was. Luca responded to Natolium was like super
busy, Charter. I was like, oh my god. Yeah, yeah,
it's not enough. Yeah, it's a text. It's a blow off
text. So Matthew sits down for breakfast with the gang and Sandy and when
Toomey tells him the special mm hmmm, he's less than thrilled. Now in
one on one and I agree because the specials this season have been nothing short
of pathetic. Okay, but eggs? Uh? The special this morning,
the chef is prepared an omelet your own way. Think of really anything you'd
like to put in the omelet, and the chef eggs, wow, spin
it. No, sorry, we don't have any greens. Okay. So
he's correct in that these specials have been bad, but he wouldn't know that
this special is not that bad, because fine, what else are you going
to make for a big gay breakfast? I tried? He just took the
Pride flag colors. I was thinking, what do you want, Matthew?
That was even more out of the box thinking, and I would have put
into it. Yeah, a bunch of fucking sausages or something, Matthew.
Matthew, Matthew, because you can make rainbow pancake as yourself, at your
own in your own apartment. Sure, what did you want? What were
you expecting? You beautiful event planner, when you throw your super impressive big
gay brunches, what do you do? Matthew? And there are rainbow pancakes
at your big gay brunches, Matthew, Let's not pretend like there are rainbow
pancakes, Matthew. We couldn't get a mish that drunk dentist from last episode
on. Yeah, come on the show. You'd be brave enough to explain
yourself and your poor attitude. I would love to ask Matthew who says flatware?
Right? Who says flatware on the show, matt if they gave you
a bad edit, come on it. Speak your truth, speak truth.
We would love to hear it. His reasoning for not liking the special is
really really infuriating. He says that I could make this at home. Mm
hmm. You could make a baked potato at home, couldn't you. You
can also make a sausage at home, but those are shaped like cocks.
So it's okay. It's just not an okay criticism to Levy at chef Jack,
you're being a dick. You're being a dick. Yeah, passive aggressive
and it's uncalled for, and you are. You lose, You're wrong,
lose. You lose big time today. So Kyle is picked up. He
was suffering from get this dehydration and exhaustion. He says, celebrities get hospitalized
for that? Am I a celebrity? Answer? No? Nos, Kyle,
little words of the wise here. That is code for trying to detox
off a bad pain med addiction. Yeah, no one ever hasn't had enough
water on them while they're on tour. And if Meredith is feeling dehydrated and
doesn't have a bath, she'll just have an IV sent to the room.
She's not going to a hospital. Wait up and get it sent to your
room. So Billy does not like the Leechy Martini because it tastes too much
like leechy quick project really quick. So again, after a little baby,
Billie was told by Mommy to me that you're not gonna like this one.
It's gonna be too whatever this is that you don't like. Billy, the
crust is still on this one. He says, no, I want crust,
and then widow Billy takes the bite, and then I don't like that,
and then and then somehow Billy is responsible for my paycheck. Right,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, You've got to rely on the tips of a
pendulant insatiable Yeah. West Hollywood Gay the one of the worst gays on the
planet. Oh listen, gays I was just talking to about this. Gays
are so fun. I love the gays. They just have a better time.
Yep. They just do yep. But when they're a little bit bigger,
they tend to get mean. That's all I'm saying. Much like women.
Much like women. Yes, no, yes, much like men.
So it's Max's turn to be a screaming little whiny pants. And again he
is not in the matrix with everybody else. He is somewhere else because why
this flip out? It's just we flew so high over the cuckoo's nest it
makes absolutely no sense. So he sees that there is pasta. He does
not want the pasta. He begins storming around the boat and goes up to
the captain's quarters and says, there's no food for me. I'm gonna wait.
I will not speak to Jack if that's what you're asking me. Are
you asking me to do that? I will not speak to Jack. I'm
going to wait. I'm going on a Mahatma Gandhi hunger strike because there's no
food. And equally bizarrely, Sandy is like, hey, I don't like
liars. Liars, what are we even? The truth is completely irrelevant,
Sandy, Sandy he is he's spinnings out of control. No, no,
I want not There is no food and that's how we wrap the episode.
Everybody, have a lovely holiday. We will see you guys in the new
year. Yeah, eat, drink, be merry. But if you were
behind the paywall, you got a couple episodes coming to you later. Oh.
Absolutely their story. I think you said, yeah, yeah, oh,
oh, oh my gosh, I'm so excited for that story. iTunes
ratings, reviews, five stars, kind words, follow us on Instagram,
YouTube, tikis, all that stuff, and again, Happy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Mary Kwanza, and all the rest. Yeah,
and if this is the last time we're listening to well, Patty wants
to say thanks for another great year. Another great Ruby's joined the team and
we had an amazing year thanks to all your listenership and patronage and all your
support. It just felt like a very positive year. In my opinion,
people always give us shit, but I think our one star reviews, despite
the fact the show was growing and doubling, actually in an audience, the
one star reviews, while calling us dix was minimal. Yeah, so I
think we're doing something right. Yeah, we're doing something right. And also
the facebooks and the patreons and the comments sections are quite beautiful places. We
have the best lovely. They're so kind and funny. They're really fucking funny,
and they're great and it's a wonderful. It's a great community on there.
So so despite the many comments about us saving you from depression and whatnot,
we want to say you've returned to the favor, right back to us.
We couldn't do it without you, and we're grateful for you. Was
that good? That was great? But if you want to hear us,
do the end of year Christmas exchange hop on a patroon. It's always a
fun episode. Until then, I'm daling saying goodbye, pat say goodbye later.
Do bye baite, bye bye.