Deborah, with her thirty years of being an ltrepreneur and creating over seven companies,
knows exactly what it means to accept the mission. When you make that
decision, when you accept the mission to become a solopreneur, to take yourself
and your talents to market, then you embrace a life of not only unlimited
possibilities, but also the unknown. It's an elixir of fear and bravery that
only someone who's taken the leap really understands. On our show, deb digs
deep with her guests to highlight what you the listener wants to know, the
stories, the whys, and the hows to navigate the journey to success.
Get ready to hear from some of the most incredible mission takers from Generation Z
to boomers. So sit up, perk up, and get ready to be
blown away. Now here is your host, Deborah Drummond. I am so
excited. I'm always excited. I'm excited. You guys are here. You
know what I'm going to say next, right, You are the podcast audience,
and you have been rocking it. You've been sending the shows, you've
been sending comments, and yes, Susan he doing your yoga, but I
too our episode. I think, look at you, guys, Susan's rocking
it with mission except of podcasts. She's learning all sorts of things and she's
getting in her exercise at the same time. So you guys can send in
your ideas as well. I'm not only just excited, but today you have
a special treat. You know, we do these amazing trilogy episodes where we
bring in experts, someone who is completely unique that is rocking it in their
field. Right, you don't get the title expert by just kind of doing
the little stuff. This woman embodies what she does and she shares that full
on, full game. I'm very excited. Do you know what the benefit
of being like a host man when you bring on people like Nada, because
you're like, this is like a class for me as well. So look
at you guys. The best podcast that I could ever ever, you know,
best podcast listeners. You're kind of like royalty, and Nada's going to
make everyone royalty today. So who is this woman that I'm talking about?
She is an expert coach in Divine Union, doesn't it sound like amazing?
Specializes in relationship polarity, and today she is going to do a trilogy.
You are going to get three three part series today and it's all going to
be about untaught rules to create relationship royalty. So there it is, Mike
drop Nata, welcome to Mission Accepted today. Yeah, thanks for having me.
Absolutely absolutely, So we're super excited. I'm excited because you know what,
you guys, you're gonna stay on. You got to stay on and
listen to this three part series because she is going to take us just I
know it. We're going to go deeper and deeper today. We're going to
meet ourselves and we're gonna have a great time doing it. So tell us
a little bit about how it came about for you. I mean, our
whole shows about Mission Accepted, right and people taking the mission, staying the
mission, and so I'd love to hear a little bit about your story about
what made you decide to do what you do. Yeah. Absolutely, it's
been a journey. You know. I remember this day very clearly. It
was my son's sixth birthday, and it was like a pool like beach theme,
right, and all the kids were dressed up in like sharks and mermaids,
and it was a really beautiful sunny day and there was like this guy
making like shapes out of balloons giving them to the kids, and there was
like a face painting section and everyone was like on a high. Everyone was
so happy, and I was there, you know, taking photos with everybody,
and to the world, I looked very happy celebrating my son's sixth birthday,
but on the inside, I was like kind of miserable. I was
not in a good place and I couldn't understand, like what was going wrong
with me that I never really was able to be in a happy relationship,
Like there was always something missing, and I had to suck it up because
it was the birthday party, right, so I had to like pretend like
most women do when they're in unhappy relationships. They just put on this face
where everything's fine, and I had to be that person during during the party,
and then when I went home, I was like devastated. And it
took a couple of weeks off life, and I was like I can't live
this way. And it was either like I was going to really figure out
how to be in a happy relationship or I never wanted to be in a
relationship again. And I know that sounds really dramatic, but that's the state
that I was in back then, and mind you, this is like twelve
years ago. Yeah, So I took some time to really reflect on myself
and what I noticed after studying so many different things, like I became a
certified hip therapist and atheta healer, and a Reyki healer and a pranic healer,
and a yoga teacher and a breathwork practice. I have like seventy five
certificates, okay, and a relationship coach and a feminine coach, and did
a lot of plant medicine. And what I discovered is that nobody really teaches
us how to be in a relationship, and we're all just winging it.
We're all just trying to figure it out. And you know, we all
want love. I really wanted love. I want, like everyone deserves to
be in this amazing relationship that you know we see on TV, like the
fairy tale love. But whatever I did, I could not have it.
And I was giving my all, and every relationship that left me devastated,
you know, one after the other. So after going on this journey and
making that decision that, you know what, I'm going to figure this out
once and for all, I realized something very important and it is that relationship
polarity is the real effective way to get people into a harmonized union. And
that's the path that I took, and that's the path that I made my
life. And today I you know, I've helped thousands of women and men
master the relationships through that process that I've put for myself. And obviously today
I'm in a very happy relationship, been married five years. So that's really
my story and how I got to where I am today. You know,
I appreciate your transparency because I think it takes a lot. I've said that,
really, I think a lot of healing comes through transparency and other people
being transparent, because I think it's difficult to go, Hey, it was
my kid's sixth birthday party, and I was you know, I had that
beautiful plastic smile on my face, and I think I really appreciate that.
I also appreciate when you say it might sound dramatic, but I was like,
either you know, I'm done with relationships, or I got to figure
this out, or I'm done for I think that everyone at some point has
probably said, you know what, I'm throwing my hands up like white flag
on you know, on the match right, like I surrender. I don't
know what else I can do. I'm doing like you said, you're doing
everything that you can. And I think it's interesting about relationship polarity. I
have not heard anyone talk about that. I'm very excited to hear you share
what you're going to share with us today because I've not heard that as a
solution. And I'm like, well, I think there's a lot of people
that have been like I've had enough, you know, I don't know what
else to do. I'm you know, seventy five certificates like the self healing
and the healing books and the this and that. So please, let's just
dive right into it and talk about what it is that you've got to share
with us today. Let's kind of do our episode one. Let's let's find
out what it is that you that you do. And I am excited to
hear. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Like what I discovered, Like the
hundreds of people that you know I've worked with, you know, I was
very similar to them. And it's not like I got this happy relationship because
I'm some special person. It's like I kind of, you know, I
kind of put the pieces together and you know, when I help people with
relationships, the relationships start to grow because the pieces come back in the right
order. Like when we are growing up, how do we learn about relationships?
We see our parents, we see our grandparents, we see you know,
movies, and and you know, if we're going to be honest with
ourselves, they're also just trying to figure it out, like they don't have
this perfect picture. And we've all witnessed, you know, our parents and
our grandparents like have all these extreme dysfunctional fights behind closed doors, and so
we don't really know how to be in a relationship. And it was very
easy for me to blame my partner, like like he's this and he's that,
and he doesn't appreciate me. And but I took a moment. I
was like, Okay, what am I doing? Like let's come back to
reality. Because at the end of the day, the way we show up
in the world is the way the world shows up for us. So I'm
like, what am I doing that I'm not seeing that was creating all this
dysfunctionality. Even though I was doing everything with good intent, I realized that
I was doing three things that were creating complete distortion in my relationship and the
first one is I was mothering my partner, so I would take on the
over nurturing role where I would be that good woman that did the right thing
all the time, like most women are taught. But what I didn't realize
is that that actually demasculinated the man. Right. It kind of started,
and most women that I work with share the same story, like I feel
like I'm with a man, and I feel like I'm with a boy in
a man's body. And the men that I work with so like the couple,
they say, oh, I'm always controlled, right, I'm always controlled
by my woman. But it goes back to that mothering role. So when
a woman takes that mother role, what starts to happen is she drops it
maganism. She's no longer this interesting, mysterious woman that she was in the
beginning because she put on that mothering hat. So what happens because everything,
at the end of the day is energy and the way I treat you,
like like, sometimes you meet people you feel really good, sometimes you meet
people you feel crap. It's because energy matters. So if a woman shows
up in her mothering role with time, the man is gonna drop into a
little boy role, and then he's not gonna feel masculine, so he's gonna
feel controlled and he's going to rebel. So what happens in that relationship the
polarity goes off track, and then eventually they move on from that honeymoon phase
into this constant bickering and arguing, always trying to make it work, always
trying to figure it out, and then it never really works out. Their
sex life goes down the hill, you know, their communication goes really bad,
the intimacy is not there, and they're unhappy, they're unfulfilled. So
that's the first thing, like the mothering role. The second thing is that
in an inner relationship, like we are always growing, Like we are always
growing as people, we're always evolving, we're always healing something and we're always
learning something new. And a lot of couples and that was me right long
time ago, and but I'm talking from like the people I work with,
like a lot of couples, Like what's missing is that partnership, that friendship
that's built on like trust and respect and loyalty and most important, like conscious
conversations, like being able to be authentically yourself no matter what is going on.
Knowing that you're going to be held, you're going to be supported,
and you're going to have a friend to walk you through what's going through.
And when I what I used to do is I would blame, I would
fight, I would argue, I would I would like do anything but have
a healthy conversation, right because the part of me that didn't feel confident would
come up when you know, I needed that support. So what happens in
that space is that that's not going to create anything healthy when two people just
start arguing over everything. So what I realized is when I started embodying that
part of me that can be like really clear with what I say, feeling
confident and safe, what started to happen is communication started to become like a
bridge from my heart to his heart instead of like this catastrophic bomb that would
take place whenever you know stuff didn't go well. But the thing is for
women what I and for men, what I realized is like our communication like
communication is like like you know, if you have a brick wall, right
the beginning of the wall, it looks really good, but then if you
look at all the breaks, there are these bottom fundamental breaks that hold the
whole wall together. Right, So communication is like the top part. So
when I dug in within myself to see why is it that I reacted?
Why is it that I was short tempered like thousands of women? Right,
what I realized is that I was so disconnected from my womb. I was
so disconnected from that safety within my own body, that pleasure center, that
joyful center within myself. So because I was so disconnected from my womb,
I was more in a masculine role. So the way I approached conversations was
very masculine. So what would happen then? Then you know the man would
go into a feminine role. So bringing that into balance creates that relationship polarity,
right. And then the third thing, it's really really like taking a
relationship as a third project on its own. Like a lot of people going
into relationships thinking like, okay, we're in a relationship, but it's like
me in my own energy and you in your own energy, creating a whole
third energy. So we're not leaking into each other being codependent and dysfunctional.
We're actually creating something together. Like this energy of a relationship can be raising
a dog, can be having a child, Like how do you treat that
third energy. So when you know, I started to be like, all
right, I want to be a queen in my life, and I want
my men to be a king. I want to create a kingdom together,
right, So I needed to show up as a queen. And in order
to do that, I needed to really invest in the relationship, of the
energy, of the energy of the relationship, not from a place of like
neediness or cleanness or even avoidance sometimes, but from a place of really being
very interdependent, like really focusing on becoming the world class version of myself.
And when I started becoming the world class version of myself, the type of
men I started to meet were very different. And the man that I'm with
today is like the king of my kingdom, right, And this is really
what helped so many couples transform their relationships. We had a couple that was
actually separated. They have two beautiful kids. They're separated, and their life
is like going down the hill. And they called us up for some help,
and we took them through this exact process. And actually I think it
was August this year. August this year they really needed their vows. They
invited us to their new new wedding it was really beautiful because we're part of
the ceremony and you know, they just started a whole new page with a
completely different harmonious flow because they got that relationship polarity in place. Wow,
let's take a digestion. Let's let that digest I imagine, and you know,
correct me if I'm wrong. I mean, what you describe is very
blissful, but I'm sure there's a process to it, and I can hear
it, like you know, and I'm sure you get this. So when
I'm doing a show, it's like you can hear questions from the audience even
though they're not exactly listening right now. And I'm sure you've heard this.
So there's a couple and they've got stuff going on, or it's not a
it's optimum. Maybe it's just okay, like there's not anything wrong, but
there's not anything fantastic either, or they're like ooh, I recognize some of
the stuff that she just said. It's like ooh, I can react,
or what do you say to that person? That's like I'd love to be
able to, you know, have a conscious conversation with my partner, but
they're not into that. Even vocabulary or that terminology, like what if one
person's wanting something different than the other person's not really, like, do you
do you get that question? Do you come up against that? Yeah,
that's actually a very good question. Now I'll tell you something. It takes
two people to tangle, right, It takes two hands. Like in my
culture, you say it takes two hands to clap, right. And this
this doesn't just go in relationships. This goes in any adventure like business relationship,
or like parent and child, or like you and your scuba diving instructor.
Right, Like, you've got to be on the same page. So
when couples are not on the same page, we start from one on one.
We start from like the first page of the ba whole book, which
is, let's talk about our level of commitment, right, Because when people
are committed to create the same vision, then they become on the same page.
And what happens is everyone's everyone's way and how they flow is very different,
and they don't need to be the same because we are all different.
And the whole point is becoming the most world class, authentic version of yourself.
Right. But if we're both if both people are committed to the same
vision, then they're gonna walk on the same path. Okay. I mean
I think that, Thank you so much, because I'm sure that must be
something that comes up because you know, you've sat in circle with sisters and
they're like, oh yeah, like I'm going to say that to him and
he's going to be like sure, let's go get conscious or she you know,
I'm sure when when he's sitting with his man and it's like there's just
so much you know, there's it's just too far apart, or I don't
really know how to do this, or she's not on the same page as
me, or we don't you know, we don't have the same things in
common, or something fell away, or you know, you hear that a
lot, So I love that. You know. The thing is everybody wants
love, Like everybody wants true love, and everybody deserves to have a beautiful
love story. Like at the end of the day, this is probably one
of the most important parts of our life in my opinion, because it's connected
to our hearts. Like when you're when you're in love and your heart is
so full. You know, you show up differently at work, you show
up differently with your friends, you show up differently in any every part of
your life. And when you're having problems with your love life, a lot
of people start to get used to that that's flow, like yeah, we
don't listen to each other, Yeah we fight, yeah, you know,
and then they move onto their life and there they start to struggle and they
don't realize that it's actually because their heart's not feeling well. Right. And
the thing is, men and women speak completely different languages, and men and
women are waiting for the other person to change, Like the man's probably thinking
only if she stops controlling me, or only if she stops whatever she does,
and the woman's always thinking only if he shows up differently, and you
know, he's more emotional towards me, then it would work. And that's
where I used to be, and that's when I said, you know,
I used to blame, like I'm waiting for somebody else to do something for
me to have a great love life. But when the couple starts looking inwards
right, like for example, like any like what I've discovered, Okay,
to make a long story short, whatever, it's great. It's like a
woman's love life is a mirror, like a literal mirror of her relationship with
her womb. And a man's love life is a mirror of his relationship with
his heart. And when I had that aha moment, I'm like, oh
my god, you know, like I am so disconnected from my wull.
I need to come back to myself. I never need to tell a man
how to treat me anymore. Like like what happens with women when they start
to center themselves in their womb. You know, when women sit together and
they're like, oh, but he doesn't listen or all that, like that
will go away. Because when a woman is in her in a different like
magnificent queen energy, what happens is she never needs to tell him how to
treat her because her magnetism is so different that he will naturally be drawn to
protect her and provide for her and to want to hold her and be more
emotionally present. And when a man is centered in his heart, he never
needs to tell a woman stop telling me what to do or stop whatever,
right, because she's going to naturally start to trust his leadership. She's going
to naturally flow into his masculinity. So she's going to drop into her femininity
and feel so good about herself because that's her natural element. Right. If
you put a fish in like a cage, a bird cage, it's not
gonna feel good. But put a fish in water, she's gonna flow.
And that's what happens with the woman, and and then what happens with the
men is he's gonna feel very good about himself because he's gonna feel very musculine.
And then together they create their kingdom because they've organized that polarity. Thank
you for that. And let's talk a little bit. And I don't know,
we're probably rolling into all of the you know, our segments are going
to go all together, you guys, so you're going to go on this
journey of conversation with us, and I love it. So let's talk about
let's talk about this womb because I could imagine that there's a few people out
there going I have no idea what she's talking about, and I have I'm
going to come out this podcast and go, I'm going to drop into what,
like how do I do that? I think people can hear the benefit.
I think it's easy to hear when you speak and you're so again when
you speak Nada, It's like I can visually just see this whole thing coming
into into play like a puzzle. But I don't. I can hear people
like, well, how and what I mean? Yeah, we can hang
out with you and you can probably walk us through it. But when someone
like, what would that look like? You know, yeah for a woman,
like, I'm really glad you brought that up, because you're right,
like a lot of women cannot even associate what the two have to do with
one another, like how my relationship connected to my womb? Yeah? Yeah,
And a lot of women actually that I first start working with, they
have no idea that their womb is more than other than having a baby and
getting a period, Like they don't know that their womb is actually much more
than that. Right, So this is a very good, good point,
and we can talk about the men and their hearts at one point too.
Now, the thing is like, our wombs are very sacred. And if
somebody told me fifteen years ago, nada, one day you're gonna be talking
about the womb, I would have been like what Because I used to be
a tomboy. I used to be so disconnected from my womb that if you
told me womb for me, it was intercourse period, babies, that's it.
Yeah, And I didn't even know I had filbian tubes. I just
I didn't even know the biology of my womb. I was such a tomboy.
But oh my god, thank god I went on this journey because my
whole life changed. And what I discovered is like, our wombs are so
sacred. Like when I was sitting trying to understand my femininity and how my
feminine energy works and how it works in relationships, it clicked, like it's
so simple. But you know, sometimes things are so simple that we overlook
them, right, Like, let's go back to the prime creator. Okay,
God, the universe, whatever anyone believes in, Like humanity was created
at one point. We don't know how why it was created, but you
know we exist as a species and our species, you know, whoever created
humanity decided, okay, so for the species to continue, they need a
place so I can send spirits to become babies. And that place, that
portal is the womb. So the womb is actually a very sacred space that
keeps our species alive. It's a very very very like incredible organ that we
have. Now if you go back in societies, like before all world wars,
and all of that. Women were actually treated like priestesses. Women were
considered very royal, and women when they were on their menstruation were actually treated
even more royal. And I was looking at that, I was like,
why is that when I was taught the opposite, like I should hide myself
and be shamed of myself and now speak about these things out loud, you
know, it's like taboo and stuff. So what I started to understand is
actually there's a lot of energy in the womb. And for me, the
energy world fascinates me because it's the energy world that makes the physical world move.
And what I realized is we carry something called magnetism in our roomb.
Okay, Now, women that are disconnected from their room, they're very masculine.
Not because they're masculine, it's because they're very electric. I'm talking science
here, Like we are electromagnetic beings, so they become very electric. And
when women are electric, they can't be magnetic, right, So if a
woman is electric, she's never going to meet an electric man, so she
can't really be with a masculine man. And if she's electric, she's going
to attract a magnetic man, which is the man that is leaning more towards
the feminine side, and then she's gonna complain because she wants somebody more masculine
than her. But in order for her to meet that masculine or even transform
the energy in her existing relationship, she has to drop into her magnetism.
So it's like energy attracts, right, So if you have magnetism, you're
gonna get electricity. If you have electricity, you're gonna get magnetism. So
and that magnetism is inside the womb, it's inside the ovaries, it's inside
the womb, kind of like the energy of love and forgiveness is in our
hearts, right, kind of like the energy of logic is in our brain.
So that magnetism is in our womb. So you have the whole answer
to that, right. And when a woman drops into our magnetism, her
man becomes very electric so he becomes even more masculine, which is what every
woman wants. Every woman desires a man in his leadership, a man that
is kind of like the chief of the tribe, the man that knows where
he's going, that has a lot of ambition. But if she's in her
electricity, not going to happen it's it's just not going to happen, you
know what I mean? Yeah, No, that was quite brilliant. I
love it. It's it's almost like scientifically correct, you know what I mean.
You're the way that you talk about it, and I think it's really
easy to digest and to go, okay, that's that's a whole different idea
of you know, how the heck do I get into my womb? And
you're right, culturally, there's so much stuff around that it makes it very
different and very difficult to conceptualize, you know, something that yes, babies,
menstruation, and really honestly, that's about it, right, That's about
it. So men in their heart. So you know, a lot of
couples that come to us, they come mainly like not a lot, but
not the majority, but a lot of them do they come. And one
big problem that they have in relationships is like the man is always looking at
another woman or the man has you know, he's always interested in checking out
other women, and this creates so much like instability for his partner. And
when I look at the science or when I look at what's actually happening,
is like he's actually looking at women and this is always the case. Right,
he's looking at women that have more magnetism. So because he's craving that
spark, that's going to bring him back into his masculinity. Because the partner
he's with has a lot of electricity, she's become very masculine. So when
we work on her energy and her womb energy and she drops into her femininity,
he becomes super loyal. Now this is not to excuse anybody that's cheating
or having an affair like this is not what I'm saying here. But what
I'm saying is that it's even to that extent that because men are very primal,
like men are, like women are not as primal as men. Men
are very primal, and they function from like a yang energy, right,
So they're always looking at survival and they're always looking at, you know,
where they can seed, and they need magnetism. It's like they live off
of magnetism. And that's why a lot of women like will say something like
I don't know he cheated on me with like this really ugly woman because she's
looking at her physical looks. But maybe that ugly woman has a lot of
magnetism. That's what men need. It's like women crave emotional support from their
partners, which they never get, but men crave that magnetic, sensual,
soft energy. And a lot of women think that if they were going to
be sensual and soft, then they're not strong anymore and they're not powerful anymore.
But what I realized is the softer I got, the stronger I became.
The softer I got, the more powerful I became. So it's a
really interesting dynamic. And it goes the same way with men and their hearts.
Like women are disconnected from their wombs, men are disconnected from their hearts
because growing up, you know, they're taught you can't feel, because then
you won't be a man if you're emotional, or if you cry, or
if you have any emotion, then you're not macho enough. So that's like
discrediting his honor as a man. So what do they do. They disconnect
from their heart. They want nothing to do their heart because they want to
keep their pride like they're a man, right, But that's not going to
work in relationships, because you know, it's the emotions that build a relationship.
It's the emotions that create that deeper intimacy and that sacred connection, and
you know the same way woman comes back into her womb. When a man
comes back into his heart and he feels that safety to be vulnerable in his
emotional expression, and being emotional doesn't make him a whimp, does it make
him a sissy or whatever society has labeled emotional men, then he will actually
rise even more in his strength because he will have that compass of his heart
open. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I know exactly
what you mean. It's I can definitely see when we were talking pre show
on how you described the polarity right as what we think if you drop into
and you know, I think about I mean, I think about all the
people I know. I mean all the people I've known in relationships, some
friends that have been married forever. And I remember going to my aunt in
my first year being married, and I don't know what you guys, but
the first year of marriage was is interesting, right, and people like,
oh, the first year of marriage, you know, it's like you know,
because you're like, oh, it's going to be all bliss. And
then I remember I remember having our first fright when we were married, and
I was like I didn't know what to do. I was like, well,
I can't tell him to leave, and I'm not going to leave because
apparently now we're married. And it was so mind interesting, right, So
I'm like, well, what's what do we do? And I remember going
to my aunt and she had been married like almost forty years, and I
called her up. I'm like, let's go for dinner. She's like okay,
And so I said to her, I said, okay, so you've
been married for a really long time. This first year of marriage is interesting.
And we've been together already. We lived together like this wasn't like you
know, we lived in separate houses and game together and and she I said.
I said, I said, you know, how do you do it?
And she's she kind of looked at me, and I'm like and I
was like, if you could do it all over again, would you get
married? She's like absolutely not. And I was thinking, oh wow,
I see the wrong person. But but not, you know what I mean,
we kind of had a little josh about it. I mean, a
whole different generation, right. But the interesting thing is we all know people
that have been happy, not happy, not this, not that all these
different but you're all these different people like You're like, they're trying, but
everyone's got these different set of rules, right, Like in this house it
was okay to be emotional for a guy or this not. And sometimes people
have changed where you know, I've seen colleagues of mine become single parents of
two or three kids, and their femininity goes out with the laundry pile,
and all it is is just I'm doing, doing, doing doing, Like
you see a lot of people taking on roles or holding roles or holding the
world up. And I think that a lot of times they go into survival.
And I don't think men are in their heart when they're in survival the
way you're describing it. And I don't think women are in their womb when
they're in survival very often, right, So very interesting. Yeah, And
like when people center in their womb and their hearts, what happens is not
only relationships just get aligned, but you know, workflow, money, like
life in general, because you're in your elements, right, you are in
your natural elements, so everything works differently. You know, those days you
wake up feeling great, the whole day is going to go well, You're
gonna be like, oh, you know, coincidences start to happen, and
you know, people are really nice and be like, oh, I'm having
a great day. And you know those days you wake up grumpy and on
the wrong side of bed, you know, you to realize people aren't so
nice, and you know, you stub your toe in the wall and everything
just goes wrong. So when you are in your womb and when men are
in their hearts, you're in your elements. So those good days becomes a
life. It doesn't become just good days during a week. It becomes a
life. So you have that energetic momentum of you know, how do you
you get that energetic momentum to really align yourself to who you're always supposed to
be energetically. So I love our conversation. I'm loving the dialogue. I'm
loving the description. I think everyone's kind of doing a little bit of this,
right, a little bit of this. What do you say to men
and women that are out there where you know, like yourself, I mean,
you know, it sounds like your relationship really changed, you change with
yourself. But there's people that are out of relationships or single, or they're
like done, like done. Like when you describe that, I was like,
I know a lot of people they're like I'm so done. So people
that are not in relationship, how do they you know, how do they
utilize the information that you're sharing. Like do you do you have people that
are single that come to your absolutely yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely,
Like you know, ultimately, the most important relationship we have is the relationship
we have with ourselfs. So even if somebody is single by choice, then
them optimizing their own relationship with themselves, you know, them becoming that world
class two point zero version of themselves, that's probably the grandest gift they can
give themselves. And if somebody is single and they're looking to meet somebody and
they're just not meeting the right person, like either they're not meeting you know,
somebody that fits their standards or their criteria or what they're actually looking for
in life. Then you know, again it's like a mirror. It's a
mirror, like what is your relationship if it's a woman, Like, what
is your relationship with your womb? Are you disconnected from your womb so you're
meeting disconnected men? Or do you not have a relationship with your mood so
you're not having a relationship outside Like we go deeper into that, but you
know, we've worked with so many people that not only do they meet the
right person, but they meet their their forever person. Like they start,
you know, they get married, they have kids, and because they have
that healthy foundation, they don't go into that spiral of having the fights and
the problems and all of that. They start to grow. Like what you
were saying is very common, Like what happened with you when you got married?
Like a relationship has five phases. The first phase is, you know,
we're in love, Let's show each other the best parts of ourselves and
you know, let's go through life together. And this happens. The second
phase is, Okay, I'm getting to know the things I don't like about
you. You're getting to know the things you don't like about me. And
then the third third phase is like they commit to one another, but they
don't have that foundation that's solid, so it becomes rocky. And if you
want to put it into statistics, like about eighty seven percent of all divorces
and separation happen at that third phase. Because they don't know how to move
on to phase four, they go back to phase one. So like phase
three, they fight, shit hits the fan. Then they go back showing
each other, the nice part of themselves, they rediscover a bit more,
and then again they get into these tremendous fights. But when you have that
solid foundation, you don't need to go through all of that. You can
just move into phase four, which is a divine union. And phase five
is that list that euphoria that, like the honeymoon phase, shouldn't end.
It should be your life with your partner, you know. So that's really
interesting. I mean, I know, I mean, I'm in alignment with
a lot of that you said, because I studied the philosophy of Tandra for
a very long time and I know you know, but it's very interesting.
You know, that was the one workshop my ex husband was willing to go
to. It's like, yeah, I'll go to that, but I know,
right, it's like not to talk to you or that. But I
love how you stay and honestly seeing that conscious conversation and when you talked about
being able to have conscious conversation and then having people feel safe, the man
and the woman in that place, like if I really let my walls down
and I'm really not, like you said, energized in a masculine way,
is is my partner going to be able am I Is it going to be
safe to be that person with that partner? Right? Yeah, that's very
important because what women ultimately desire is a man in his leadership, and what
women do on a subconscious level is that they will test their men. So
a lot of men don't understand why women snap out of no reason or why
they like ask like really like cheeky questions out of nowhere, you know.
But what they're doing on a subconscious level is there testing his leadership, like
are you going to be solid? Are you going to show up? Are
you going to be the chief of the tribe? You know? And if
a woman doesn't receive that leadership over and over and over, of course her
walls are going to go up. But the thing is the walls go up
not because of the partner. Okay, it goes way back, like our
first relationship is our relationship with our parents. And almost everybody, every woman
has a mother wound and every man has a father wound, and it's a
whole world and journey of psychotherapy. Right. But when a woman does not
heal that mother wound, she will always have her walls up because she never
felt safe receiving nurture that's unconditional. So whether it's her partner or anybody else,
she'll always have her wole up. She'll probably have her wallup thicker with
her partner because he has access to her heart and that's very vulnerable for her.
And the same thing for men. Men have a father rund that goes
very deep. And you know what they do is they once they get vulnerable
with a woman, they disconnect. And that's why you know, they'll disappear
for two three days, even though they really like the woman or they love
her or whatever, and it's because they don't want to. They have their
wall, and their wall is avoidance. Like I'll just disappear so I can
calm my heart down, I don't like how vulnerable I feel, and then
I'll come back when I feel safe again with my shield. So you know,
the journey really starts with healing that, like healing the mother wound and
healing the father wound, that your safety is not dependent on how your partner
shows up, that you're safe no matter what's happening around you. And then
and then you can actually enjoy your relationship because you're not waiting or like you
know, being like in my culture, we say, being an owl like
having your eyes open waiting to see if he's going to do something wrong or
if he's going to do something right, to keep yourself safe because you know
that safety got cultivated through your own journey. It's so interesting because I think
about I mean, I have people in my life from all all different ages,
all different stages. Right, you know, I'm somewhere around that mid
life and I see a lot of people probably at the next stage. They
were like, They're just like, I'm good by myself. I'm happy by
myself, and I think that it's very it's very very, very interesting,
right, They're like, I've had my kids and this and that. I'm
like, do you want to have some love in youom They're like, I'm
good. You know, I'm good. So interesting. I mean, I
know, who am I to say that they're not. But okay, we've
talked about a lot. We've talked about a lot that's incredible. So the
one thing I want people to understand, well, first of all, I
want you to be able to share with us, you know, accessibility to
you, because I'm sure there's people that have more questions. And we're going
to cover in a three part series, which I think we've done really well.
But when you say that there is so how much work does it take?
I guess is the question because there's getting in touch with yourself, you
know, and dropping into this womb place if you've got some stuff you need
to heal, Like what is the process? You know, give us kind
of a bit of a finale of what that looks like for people? They're
like, you know, do I watch videos? Am I at home?
Am I flying to where she lives? She's got a beautiful accent? Where
is she? Like? Dot's help? Because right, that's the piece of
people need to know. Is it? Like, you know, what is
it that you do? And how long? Even though this is probably an
interesting question with a difficult question for you because everybody's on their own journey,
but how long does it take for someone to start to get into this place
where they're changing who they're attracting, they're changing how they're feeling, their relationships
are showing up differently. What does that look like? Yeah, Like that's
such a beautiful question because ultimately that's the main question in everyone's mind, like
how long is this going to take? Because people want their love life sorted
like asap right now, our hearts, our love life. It's kind of
like a flower. You know, when a flower is wilting and you just
put some fresh water, it's gonna bloom very quickly. It doesn't take long.
But you got to put the right water. If you're going to put
like soda or something, it's not going to flourish. So it really depends
on the on the pathway that a person takes. So when I when I
when I started, so what started to happen with me is women and men
started to come to me. I was already a coach right twelve years ago.
I have an academy called New Earth Masters that teaches people like how to
live in like empowered, confident mastery. And you know a lot of my
clients start to show up for their relationships and I was like, hey,
how about I take them through the same process I put myself through, And
you know, boom, one after the other, Like not only did the
relationship transform, but they try like it's such a beautiful, fulfilling thing to
witness and to be a part of. You know, I'm so honored for
people that trust me to take them on this journey. So then I developed
the Divine Union Academy, and I created the specific flow that you know,
I've taken all these couples through and got success. So it's broken down into
five sections if I was to put it in linear flow. So the first
section is really about healing and feeling very safe with yourself and you know,
understanding the energy of trust, commitment, communication, respect, loyalty, so
like the real foundations of a relationship, like if these are solid whatever,
Like if you have a building that has such a solid structure, there's no
earthquake or a tsunomi that can demolish it, right, it's going to stay
standing, kind of like the pyramids. So that's the really the first section,
and we do that by healing the mother and the father wound. Women
do have a father wound and men do have a mother wound. It's minute
compared to the other parents, right, and then then we go into the
second phase. The second phase is really about becoming a world class version of
yourself. So women really diving deep into their femininity, their womb, understanding
their womb, Clearing their womb very important from all ex partners or you know,
anything that they've had happened like that alone is going to bring her shine
back online, right yeah, yeah, and and and like really learning how
to work with the womb, how to work with your magnetism, how to
increase your magnetism, how to do feminine practices that keep you like joyful and
sensual and soft yet solid. You know, how to work with your menstruation.
So you're because we're all business women at the end of the day,
So how do we put on both hats? How do we you know,
be in our masculine flow with business, but at the same time stay in
our clean energy. So how do we work around our menstruation with our menstruation?
So that's really the second for the women, and the second for men
is similar but for men. So how do you go back into your heart?
How do you claim that warrior energy that fears masculine, that isn't afraid
to have emotions, but also has a lot of direction and leadership in life.
And we do that through many different masculine practices. So that's the second
phase, and then the third phase is really how do you to show up
in a relationship interdependent and not codependent. So you're full, you're your world
class version. You're your world class version. Now how do you create that
kingdom together? Right? And it's really about understanding each other and your vision
together, and how do you create that vision? What do you do in
conflict? What do you do for intimacy? What do you do for love?
Like there's a whole flow on how do you too are on the same
page walking life with your own unique dance but towards the same vision. And
then the last phase is really about having that divine union where you take all
that I just shared and that becomes your minimum in life and you take it
to the next level and live that queen and king relationship that happily ever after,
that fairy tale love. So that's really what the Divine Union Academy is
all about. And you know, it doesn't the time wise. It really
depends on how much people spend on it. But we have like a lot
of couples that spend about two three hours a week and they start seeing results
within the third week. They start seeing like concrete results, not like those
small changes here and there, but like they start noticing like concrete results within
like the third week, and then it starts to build from there. Wow,
well, it's good to give some structure and I imagine if there's a
I mean when we used to run countra classes, people used to go,
I can't believe you tuntra classes for people that are single. I'm like,
well, you know, of course, so I imagine you have that as
well for people that are not in relationship and they go through that process,
right, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely. Wow. I feel
like we've gone through this whole just beautiful journey since we started talking. Is
there? You know, let's talk a little bit about you well before we
wrap up. So what has it been like to step into this whole?
I mean, you know what a whole different world? Right? You said
that you were coaching twelve years ago when you were teaching more mastery of life,
right, and then all of a sudden people started to come to so
what's your like, what's your life like? Now? Where are you?
You know, where do you live? What is it? You know,
what has your world turned into? Because when we talk about people stepping into
the mission, it's really interesting, right, Like, you know, my
mission had turned out to be thirty years of an entrepreneurship and I didn't know
I was going to have a media company, you know, ten years ago.
I'm just like you didn't, so kind of give us a little bit
of insight into what's what your world is like? Now. Yeah, yeah,
it's interesting because you never really know where life takes you. But when
you when you say yes to the calling, you end up realizing, you
know that you have such a beautiful space in the world. So for me,
I still have New Earth Masters. So we have a global Ascension academy
that teaches people all different paths of mastery, so mastering your abundance, mastering
your healing powers, mastering you know, your psychic ability. So I was
in that Wuhu world and you know, it's a global academy and you know,
we've helped thousands and hundreds of thousands of people through that. And within
the New Earth Masters, we have the Divine Union Academy where we specialize specifically
on relationships and you know, really help people master their love life. Like
for me, the way I live today is that nobody should settle like like
for me, it's because you know, sometimes we think that we it's not
possible for us, like how are we going to have this amazing love life?
And I used to be that person, Like you know, when you're
talking about your friend that's like I have my kids, I don't need a
relationship. That's who I used to be too. But nobody should settle with
something so important. And when we are in a beautiful relationship, like gosh,
like the level of intimacy we discover within ourselves, you know, it's
just next level. So Divine Union Academy does that. It really helps people
with relationships. And both our work is online, so we you know,
we teach people all around the world. We host coaching classes on Zoom.
We do host live retreats. We have three four live retreats a year.
We have one in Dubai in February. We just had one in August here
in Bali, and that's where I live. I live in Bali. The
thing is what I love about having our work online is we travel a lot.
So we used to live in Dubai and then we moved to Hawaii and
then now we're in Bali and you know, we're just flowing and you know,
it's beautiful here. It's sunny and the ocean's amazing and yeah, wow.
Well I always at the end as we wrap things up and before you
share with people where to come, you know, find out more about you.
I do want to share that this beautiful woman is going to be writing
in the two sixty two book. You guys know that we are in this
amazing, amazing, powerful experience of just we say it's for women and those
that love women. So I think that just goes so well with you,
just with what you just shared, I mean our I mean it's about solidarity
for women. You can't just have women as part of that party. It's
like women and those that love women, they come. We've had thousands of
women come to the summits and as you know, we have twenty two of
them and we've just gotten started in that and this woman is going to be
speaking. She is going to be speaking on the one of the most prominent
summits of this party, as well as you're going to be able to read
so much more about her and talk about herself in in the book the two
sixty two and then of course share with the world what she does and invite
to come play. So we have the two sixty two projects, but I'm
just going to kind of take us in a whole different direction. And everyone
knows that's ever listened to this podcast more than once or been in my world
for more than fifteen minutes. Then I absolutely love music, and I think
music is one of the most powerful healers, if not to the most powerful
healer in the world because it has no judgment. You can love a certain
type of music and say I don't like jazz, but you love jazz.
But we love music. There's never any animosity around music, right. If
you love music, you love music. So I think it's a very powerful
healing vibration. I'm sure you agree. So I always love to say to
people, and ironically, you are living. I always inay to people.
If you were packing and you add one suitcase and you were on your way
to a desert island and you only had room for one album, what album
would you take with you that you could not imagine not listen to for the
rest of your days. So I'm going to ask you that question. What
would that be for you? Oh? I love music. I love all
genres as well, but if I had to choose one, it would be
Bob Marley, it would be reggae, It'd be Bob Marley, all right,
all right? So yeah, I always love to answer that question.
So please tell people where they can find you. And I know that you
have a special gift. I know that our listeners are going to like,
hey, you hung in there, you guys. Some of you probably you
know, put stop and when you did some stuff and came back and maybe
listened to it a couple of days later or whatever. But for those of
you that hung out with us to the end, you always know that there's
great treats at the end with us. So I believe in pre show you
said that you had something for somebody, so please share. Yeah, yeah,
absolutely so. Yeah, So I'm giving away one of my signature master
classes. It's called the Five n in Secrets to instantly amplify your intimacy and
your sexual connection in relationships. So you know, this is my gift to
the listeners here. And you know, I'm sure you're gonna give them how
they can get it. Maybe there's gonna be a link somewhere next to this
video. Yeah, absolutely, they'll they'll they'll have all your information. Yeah,
and you know, and watch the whole masterclass. Like for me,
this masterclass is the one that's filled with gems. It's like one of my
favorite ones. And if you want to find me, you know, you
can simply head to Divine Union dash academy dot com. So it's Divine Union
Dash Academy dot com. Awesome. Okay, so we are going to until
we meet again, my friend, any last minute anything, whether it's got
to do with your business or life. Is there any last message that you
would like to share with our listeners today? Yeah? Absolutely, I want
to share the gift of loving yourself. So if you're going to take anything
from you know, our whole talk today, you know, just give yourself
a bit more love. Like you deserve to love yourself. You deserve to
give yourself a bit more today. You're an amazing person that has an amazing
personality and you don't need any more things in your life to make you great.
But what you do need to just acknowledge yourself and tell yourself, you
know what, I deserve the best and only you can do yourself the best
in life, So give it to yourself. All right, I'm going to
take I'm going to drink that one. I'm going to drink that one.
Man. Thank you so much for being with us and you guys, you
know how much you mean to me. We are so grateful for you as
listeners. And I am sure just like we promised in the beginning that you
feel a little bit more royal, you feel a little more like I deserve
something. You feel like I'm going to take some action and maybe I'm going
to come out of my shell a little bit, or I'm going to warm
up to that idea, or I'm going to stand up to that idea.
So we know we're going to see you in the stand up, speak up,
and show up events. But you know what, if you want to
be sitting or not a sitting and you've got something beautiful and incredible that you
want to share, you want to share about your mission, you want to
talk about whatever that has been like for you, then you know what to
do. It's really easy. It's devadev drummond dot com. I made it
super easy for you. Or you can just go to dev Drummond dot com
and send me a little message in the contact and we'd love to have you
on the show. So thank you for being you. Thank you Nadas so
much for sharing and being transparent and thorough, and thank you for doing this
trilogy of teaching for us. We're super grateful. Thank you for everything that
you do. And until we see you again. You guys, you be
well and stay Ruby. Bye for now.