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This is not would expect to be put on your life down. It's time
straight from the who You'll find me so Mum Sade cools Hi there and welcome
to side Quest. The in between episodes. When we're not having adventures,
we might have fascinating guests or interesting topics, or we might just jack crap
about whatever is going on immediately within our lives. Speaking of lives, who
do we have with us today? It's myself, Steve Weaverell MK Gibson Gibbie
and Robert Bevin. Bevin how do you do guys? Hello friends? Ye,
how you doing, Bud? Yeah, I'm doing all right today at
the time of recording in America at least is Mother's Day. Yes it is.
That's alluded and sanctified day. Do you have mothers in England or are
you pod people like I've always assumed, Yeah, we don't have Mother's Day
because I don't think so. We have pulled from the af ready for combats.
I thought you were like cultivated, like like like like soccer balls,
but like cabbage patch kids like. So it's like these cabbage patch of soccer
balls that like birth British children and then yeah, give you an act an
acting degree and an instrument to play in some kind of musical band. So
it's like oaks, but more twee. I just thought they were all orphans.
Oh that is that actually makes sense. So they grow this crop of
soccer ball babies and or football if you will, a fancy lad and then
they all go to like the Oliver Twist orphanage, and then they are adopted
by the middle Switch families of Upper Lower West Essex. Yeah, given given,
giant hairyman coming and uh, you know, claim they're going to be
wizards. Yeah, true, true, true. We pull them out of
the ground and they say, all right, I put out in the poor
person pile future somebody accent. Oh that makes so much more sense. And
they just tell you where you yeah, born with the accent, and then
they go and where you go in the plucky orphan pile, and they speak
with received pronunciations like okay, you're leading the country regardless of whether you're qualified
or not. Okay, okay. And it's a system that's lasted for thousands
of years and it's been absolutely fine with no consequences. Which one of you
gets to pull the sword from the stone and claim kingdom? You know,
no one. We can't be trusted with knives, so we just leave it
in the stone. Yeah that's true. Well, I mean I'm glad we
said we settled. Does England have moms? The answer is technically so do
you have guys have belly buttons? Since you're not really born. No,
we put them in afterwards. Okay, okay, yeah, it's it's a
system that works. Stop denegrating my culture anyway. Speaking of Americans with their
actual mothers, that birth children and ship, oh fancy, Yeah, it's
mother's day. Time to celebrate, I guess, and uh what way,
yes, like grocer no stick to the shovels. But yeah, I guess
we're celebrating that gross business, gross untidy, disgusting business of bringing life into
the world. And I thought we'd celebrate it by, you know, just
chatting ship about ms. Let's get three white dads in here to like talk
about months. This really works. I want the fans to know that we
put this call out to the other autos and dragons. They're actually busy with
their their lives, so I don't know what White's got to do. We're
not talking specifically about black maness now, but get your photo because I don't
get to see Steve. I see this, this Bevin rendition of Steve.
You missed the glasses, I really would. I think the glasses would have
like sold this a little bit more right now. This could be any drunk
whino. Uh yeah, glasses I think would have brought it home for me.
It's like it's the spirit of the thing ify. Oh no, it's
it's spot on, you know this, Yeah, my true essence. It's
like dug me out of the ground. There you go. He seems like
sort of middle common. I give that, give that baby a bottle of
fancy lad and send him on his way. Yes, I'm not specifically Black
mothers. That would be probably an even worse podcast. Let's be real just
yet. Yeah, we've got the chicks out of the room. Well,
it was no way it was gonna wed Well, Bevan, I'm calling it
here. We're doing Mothers of All Creeds. Yeah, We've got to chicks
out of the room. Then I'm gonna interrupt us as we get down into
the into the nitty gritty of motherhood. Man explaining it as only a man
can. Let me tell you about momhood. Oh my god, oh my
god. They just do not stop complaining about it. Yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. One day yeah, where we have to listen to
it and instead we've chosen to record a podcast. Well it's it's like I
tease this my wife all the time, but it's like whenever it's Mom's day,
you know, we we kind of bend over backwards? What do you
need? Would you like? What do you want to dinner? One comes
Father's Day? No one asks me. I'm usually told what I'm going to
do on Father's Day to celebrate. Like what I want is to like none
of y'all I want. I want a day of everybody go the fuck away.
But actually, as a man, that's absolutely what I want, which
is to not make any decisions at all and just let the day unfold without
me actually having to be there in person, you know, just drag my
carcass around while my thoughts are elsewhere. Probably any plans you or I make
is interrupting what I really want to do. Consider around and drink ye nothing.
Yeah, and if you make me plan that, that's even worse.
Just to get it out the way, get your whimsical bullshit out the way
so I can carry on drinking myself to death. Anyway. Mother's Day.
Maybe that's what they want too, I've never asked them. My wife doesn't.
We're not. We don't celebrate the high holidays of Hallmark arout in this
household, meaning we don't do Valentine's. We don't do mothers, we don't
do fathers. We don't do a lot of those bullshit holidays, at least
at the time of like, we do little nice things for each other for
so we skip Valentine's because we do nice things for each other all the time.
And when it comes to Mother's Day, Mother's Day and Father's Day,
and we have like of course my mom, her her parents in laws,
and so we kind of do a joint family thing. But it's usually the
week or two after the actual holidays, so we can actually get to a
restaurant and actually sit down as a family and not be paying triple the price
for half the space. So be honest, I often think about that for
Christmas. I love Christmas, but part of me always thinks there's probably be
a lot cheaper and easier if I did it in like in the middle of
January, right, So we don't sell. We even skip our own birthdays.
It's like in this because we don't make a big only children, so
we don't we Like my wife and I were special and like we got married
later, so we like we were in our thirties and then we had my
son when I was like late thirties, so it was one of those like
you know, I've got my bank account, You've got yours. We had
each other's lives. We don't need to jump through this hoopla for one another.
So I'm like, yeah, when it's my birthday and like I'm a
fucking going out tonight, all the other people who have their birthdays on November
third will be out. I'll wait till another day. Well, I mean,
I just need the celebration. And at a certain point, there's like
the number just keeps getting bigger. I'm getting closer to the end in the
beginning, so I don't really want to celebrate that much more anyway. So
oh no, I'm of the opposite. I'm so as I get closer to
death. I mean, I've got like five years left, you know.
I want the birthdays to be to be special. I want it to be
the opposite of Father's Day. I want everyone to make plans, but I
get to drink water happening. I like my birthday. Oh oh when is
your birthdays? Are you allowed to say? Do you not want to say?
Yeah, January seventeenth, when I'm Steve is celebrating Christmas, Mine's mine's
September seventeenth, So like I always get that, like right, everybody goes
right back to school kind of thing. But when I was a kid growing
up, so it's like there's not enough time with your kid to get the
cool birthday party because everyone just got back to school and all the parents just
spend all the money on fool supplies, so you ain't getting a gift.
It's not as bad as having a kid with a birthday in December, like
my boy, so that you get that joint birthday Christmas kind of thing.
So well, my my son's birthday is right after that, and it's it's
always like right near Black Friday, so like, hey, racist, you're
gonna get a bunch of Yeah, you can get video games like really cheap.
Exactly. Yeah, that works out nicely. I always fought like a
January birthday. I always slightly resent see my boys in early December. So
there again, our boys are both we have similar names, and they're both
both born right around the same time. So that's kind of cool. I
reckon, even if it's like December first, you know, you get that
kid at present, you're like, this is for Christmas as well. I
don't care if you've gotten of a Faye, this is a Christmas present.
It's also your Easter present. Suck it up, Easter present. Take that
zombie gus. Whatever you had planned for the rest of the year, this
is one present. This is all yours. Yeah, it's like you're getting
and it's something that was gifted to me a month ago. But yeah,
I don't like November birthdays because uh, well meaning winter clothes. But I
don't know what it is about me. I can't wear sweaters. It's really
I'm wearing this sweater I'm wearing now is stupidly comfortable. It's the from the
wedding singer. And I got this from our good uh fan and friend.
Fuck you Mark. Uh. He said this to me because he had he
had he had asked me for a copy of the latest books Weird Play,
Mark, Weird Play, I know, but he asked me for a copy
of one of my book So I just like, sure, I mean,
he's been very nice, very supportive. So I just sent him an autograph
copy of my books. And he said, what do I owe you?
I just spread the good word of my books because Lord knows I need it.
So then I got it because he had my address, because I mailed
this to him and sent it back he sent me this and and a little
in a little gem of food, Mark, and I was like, oh,
that's that's very sweet. So I'm wearing this. It's stupid comfortable,
Thank you Mark. Mark. This is not how the batter system works,
mane, but nice try. But you still have to spread the word of
my books, all of our Somebody's getting me a jumper in the English winter.
It's going to be made out of iron wool or some kind of breed
of sheep that is deeply anti social. See. The worst part is like
those kind of things are like my mom, Like everyone wants those kind of
like they want to like they want the sweater that they see in the Irish
spring commercial from back in like the seventies in the eighties. They want that
that flat cat that like it's so thick and it's like wool maybe you stand
on the moors at night and just be just fine kind of thing. But
those things are but expensive over here. So it's not the price, it's
just the sensation of wearing a rather freeze to death, thank you, or
just rely on my healthily cultivated layer of blubber, which you know I've had
since I was a kid. So it's not a fucking surprise. Stop buying
me sweats. Well, you're born with it, because we established once you
came out of the ball, you're a little round like thing, you know,
like this. Yeah, he's got a healthy layer of blub. But
put him, put him into fishing team or whatever. We've got a system
anyway. I really like how we've turned Mother's Day into talking about ourselves because
that's the true spirit wasting the Altars and Dragons podcast, where everything's really just
about us and we're just narcissists. So absolutely, it's the only reason people
form a fucking podcast. I just want to talk to my friends about shit
that I wrote a book. Yeah, I have to be in the real
world and listen to all those other people every day. This is me time,
mum or shovel handler whoever you wor shovel handler five nine. Oh yeah,
but we did have a plan today. We were gonna we discuss some
of our favorite mother figures from popular fiction. Now, are we tackling the
X Men thing? We're gonna wait till it's after all, No, we'll
wait till We'll wait till it's finished. Because Rachel, I know, Rachel
was chomping then, and I can't wait to make front of her for certain
things events that happened to that. So anyway, yeah, I'll probably one.
Yeah, don't blame you. You sure you're sure you don't want to
turn up like you usually do, and just like halfway through saying I don't
like any of this stuff. I have no idea what the fuck you people
are talking about. I think the listeners expected by now. If you're doing
on Saturday or something, I'm drinking them. Fine, I could just record
you saying I have no idea what the fucking people are talking about, and
just like make a little episodes. Yeah, the magic of editing. Bevan's
been here that the whole time. You can. You can pull a video
too. But it's not like I'm doing anything or reacting. I'm gonna make
a sound board of you, Bevin, and if, like God forbid,
something should happen to you, people aren't going to know you're dead for months.
I'm gonna keep it as long as I can. We's gotta get a
few oh My's in the doors for her voice, and like I sophisticated,
it's going to have at least five Bevin phrases. At least you can go
for years of that. I reckon we can anyway. You guys have any
traditions of mother actual Mother's Day over there in England or in the Bevan household?
Do you have any special things you guys got to do for Mother's Day?
If I did, I wouldn't be here. Fair enough, good point.
Normally for me, it's a I get a reminder of my calendar,
I go immediately to into the floor, click a button. Thank god for
that. I'm a great son. Called my mom today and talked to her
for a while. I did the good son thing, you know. So
that was nice. Yeah, we're all fine, We're all good people.
Now let's ship on some mums. Yeah, mums of any color or creed.
I should it all right, But go on, Bevan, who's some
of your favorite fictional media moms? All right, let's see what made my
made my list here? All right? First one, I don't know the
actress's name nor her character's name in the movie. Uh throw mama from the
trade. So I'm just gonna call you forlly. Okay, that's a good
one. Everybody knows what you're talking about. Yeah, you can go on,
yeah, because yeah, stupid. So yeah, maybe you might have
got their influence. Frum her. It's freezy. Just say it. I
can hear it, So not much to say. She was just really funny.
Yes, you really hated she really hated Danny de Vito a child.
Yeah, and who wouldn't. Her name was Anne Ramsey. Thanks to my
phone, her name was Anne Ramsey. She's mama for Yeah, don't get
ahead of because I got that little game show like that that we'll discuss later.
She's on it, just had mama for Telly. The character is on
there. We will discuss her. Well, we'll get around to that.
I mean, I figure the director must have said, all right, I
did a channel that mama for Telly energy, but make her somehow less likable.
Yes, it's like there's no there's no bigger plot involved here. It's
just you hating your son, who was Danny defeat. But to be fair,
to be fair to that mother, that son was Danny DeVito and not
for nothing, you know, like that's okay, I understand why she's a
little crumpy. You know, like there's been Danny de Vito films. Wait,
well, you would delight in having Danny de Vito as your son just
not in her upbringing turned annoy normal child into Danny de Vito. I I
can't say that because all I know is like he's his his biologic twin of
Arnold Schwarzenegger begs to differ, you know that? So no, well there
you go. If you had a different mom, he'd fucking be Arnold Schwarzenegger.
No. No, I'm just saying it's like, you know, he's
just destined to be Danny DeVito and Mama for Telly what Anne Ramsey was disappointed
and I get it. So somebody has to be Danny de Vita. And
I think he's doing a bank it is it chicken egg thing. It's our
nature versus No, I don't know nature of usus Danny Devita. Was he
Danny DeVito because he was raised by Mama for Telly or was he always destined
to be Yeah, Danny de Vita. Uh, and she's justified for becoming
Mama for Telly. Okay, well I'm gonna go for my top movie mom.
Speaking of Danny DeVito's twin brother, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie Junior.
So you're stole a mom from the Moss congratually. Yes. Wow,
I wanted to make this. I wanted to make this Mother's Day podcast as
miss such as mystic as possible. I almost want the same direction. I
almost picked Gizmo. Yeah, kind of giz man. Well, like about
Arnold swars now character. And again, I'm not going to call him his
character's name. I assume he has a name in the movie. But he's
aner in whatever he does is yeah, he took. He's definitely not you
know, European in the slightest. It's Johnny American man. You know what
he he put in the work. You know, he didn't just get knocked
up outside the bar. He went balls first into motherhood. I well,
his name was doctor alex Hess German Hesse spelling. H Well, Jesus,
no wonder it's only got a free star writing. People want Johnny American man.
Yes, you've never seen Junior. I saw the picture and I thought,
well, I've seen the movie. Well, yeah, you kind of
have. You're not wrong, No, yeah, you're absolutely correct. I
like this one though. Actually Devido plays a nice guy because in The Twins,
de Vito's is a bit of a scoundrel, like you know that he's
actually he's actually playing the charming one, and he's trying to help moms using
this new drug to be able to have children who are infertile having trouble conceiving.
Then they take it use it on a man and so it gets convoluted,
and I think it's Emma Thompson is the actual Yeah, I will point
out that as long as I'm being a MASSAGYI just here. Yeah. Helen
Thompson is like, when she finds out I'm was going to just state in
berfect child, She's like, we had one thing and you took it away
from us, And I'm like, you were always complaining about that thing.
I mean everything, like the entire like warrior culture, the whole pay gap,
everything that's bad about women's situation comes back to a bunch of dudes saying,
well, so, but he's got a fire out the babies. Sorry,
that's biology. I guess now you've got to be in the kitchen for
the rest of your days having twelve kids, and now you're like, oh,
we can get a dude to do this, and your first four is
oh, you are treading on my toes. I thought what Helen Thompson was
out of all weather Roll, Steve Weatherall, when you send your heat mail
and attacking I'm not saying anything that Danny DeVito did not say in that movie.
Well there you go, you're the clear Me and Danny DeVito. Ladies
come at us. Well thought, yeah, it's like, okay, well
he's he's going to have the baby for you. You know that there's potentially
a good thing. Ladies, maybe let him do it, maybe go and
you know, start a podcast or something. But yeah, she was not
happy about it at all. I'm also annoyed that you remember the scene in
Total Recall where they took the tracker out of his nose. Yes, I
thought that the birth was going to be so instead of a tracker would be
a baby. Instead of a nose, that would be his cock. Well
I wasn I mean boiled in. I don't care. No sea section,
they completely fucking you know, and no, of course defense to anybody who
has to have a sea section. But I thought, if you're going to
take I've seen that movie, how did they explain his lack of a womb?
I think they just flir posts suitcase in there or something. But the
point is, like, if you're going to say and it's rect him,
and he could have shouted out naturally. Yeah, if you've got to go
to whole hog and say, oh, man can have babies too, then
you've got to push that baby out of your dick. Otherwise, you know,
I don't believe believe you are committed one of the two. Yeah,
Sea section seemed like a bit of a cop out in that circumstance, he
added, as a very important caveat. But yes, I'm going to give
it to for try and just try and take a load of I thought he
did a good job, you know, takes a load. Well, that's
entirely different. Possibly a home movie he made is cleaning allegedly. I don't
know that is true. She did clean up that load and had a kid.
Yeah, and eating isn't cheating. Apparently, that's the first time I
heard that phrase from You can learn a lot from movies as well, isn't
that Is that like, like Michael Douglas said, like, it's like that's
why how he got like chlamittee of the mouth, because he was addicted to
because he was a woman. He was just so great at giving head.
You wear those battlecus battle scars with pride. Michael Douglass. Well done,
sir, but this isn't Father's Day. We're not here to sleep great men.
Where I hope it's the ladies of the authors and Dragon who take on
Father's Day, because I want to watch that episode. You say that,
but it sounds like an excellent chance to let the ladies do the work and
maybe go have a bit. Let me see mine. Okay, mine's actually
a little bit not count communicat action. An actual mom, I like from
my childhood growing up watching movies because uh for me, like I was raised
single mom for the first five years of my life. She married my stepdad
and then things are rough thereafter. But it was a hard lot, hard
knock life. My mom. She worked very hard, like take care of
me after my dad left. This when I was not to interrupt a personal
moment, Gibbie, but I misinterpreted that as you were raised as a single
mom in English that way it was like Tootsie. I had to wear the
dress and the big shoulder pads and then they dug you up. They made
a mistake, they put you in the single mum pile. But then you're
American, that's not how you do things. So yeah, my mom was
a single mom for a couple of years after dad left, blah blah,
blah, blah blah, and then she long story short, I saw how
much work she had to go into. So there's one character that I really
really enjoyed going up and she's not even human. It's missus Brisbee from the
Secret of Nim. That's my favorite mom from movies and television. I just
recently watched that again with my own son to show them, like, you
know, it's just a good movie, because a Don Bluth movie is a
Don Bluoth movie, and they're fucking fantastic. But when I saw when you
watch that character of like everything she had to go through to save her six
son and the length she was willing to go to to do it, it
rivals Sarah Kah on her and her ability of like I'm I don't care what's
in my way, I'm going to get this fucking done. And I I
have to applaud that that rat and Don Bluth for animating that wonderful masterpiece,
this Secret and Nim and all of its psychedelic weirdness. When you watch it
as an adult, like, man, this movie's way more fucked up than
I remember so hmmm, well, Gibbe, you've been unexpectedly touching. I'm
so sad about it. Dick joke, j joke, women something kitchen,
uh something something tiny feet. You are talking about Sarah Connor, and I
was one hundred percent I would pick Sarah Connor as one of a favorite.
She's on the other list. She's a questionable mom, and we'll discuss that.
Okay, she was great for a while and then they kept making movies
and it, Oh yeah, well we'll get to that. I guess I
went in a similar direction. Uh as far as hard working moms go,
uh secret and nim uh Sarah Connor. My choice was Wendy from Ozark.
That's a good mom. That's a good mom, not a fantastic Yeah,
she's got a priority straight in one particular avenue of existence. Everything else really
skewed priorities. But I mean she way harder than I ever would or could
to save her family exactly. Yeah. She was like, oh no,
my husband's a drug dealer and we're going to get killed by tomorrow. But
worse, he's not doing it right. And she got involved. Yeah,
she got involved. She's like, here, give me this thing. I'll
take I'll take over over this for you, honey. Yeah, none of
that fucking Skylar bullshit where it takes her like five seasons to get with the
program. She was like straight in, it's like, okay, we're all
evil, but you're being a bit shit at it. Yes, it's family
first. It's still evil, but family. She was willing to kill her
own brother to get shit out of the way for the better men of the
family. You know. Amazing actress, Like she can play anything. And
I'm also a little scared of her, So I like that what she was
scaring. Yeah, and uh, who's the husband character? If he had
Bateman, Yeah, if he had more than free facial expressions, he probably
would have convinced. And it wouldn't be Jason Bateman. I wouldn't want to
he's fucking great, but I would have. I would have loved Ozark much
more if every time he did the arrested development face, they played the music,
or if he was just that guy from Dodgeball Cotton, you know,
Ron Howard, just like, uh, looks like they've upset the South Americans.
No, it's the face he made because like, all right, So
as long as we talking about Ozark, and I I'm glad to see other
Ozarkians out here who are fans of the show. Uh. He directed a
lot of those episodes. I regret saying he only has free facial No no,
no, no, he only has free to count and he knows when
to use it. But there's this one episode and it freaked the fuck out.
It was when the preacher guy was he had the baby and looks like
he's drowning the baby at the end of the unseen he's got because this kid
was born in mom's dad he's like the just and it looks like he's actually
baptizing the baby. But he held the baby under long for uncomfortably long amount
of time as the camera tracks back, and I just keep thinking, Jason
Bateman is screaming at him off camera, drown that fucking baby, look at
me, look at her in the eyes, drown that fucking baby. You
hold it down there until God says it now, pull him up, you
know. And that scene and that show was amazing, and I wish I
don't know if I saw it all. I don't remember if I really liked
the last season, because like the first few episodes were so the first few
seasons were so great because that's building building building. Then it kind of kind
of just had to come to an end, and I don't know if I
would to end. It was the curse of the quick wrap up. I
don't mind things being wrapped up, but when they say, okay, you
go one more season, then yes, oh shit, we had a lot
of It takes a lot of fuel to take off the plane of the coast,
but you got to like you have to descend equally. So yeah,
at the end though, just like just shoot REvil. The sound of the
world works. Yeah, Okay, Well that is sort of an emotional Catharsis
of a saw. I suppose that's the only criticism I'll give to Ozark.
That and the whole movie made me feel sweaty. I don't know if that's
just an environmental thing. Oh no, Ozark was like breaking like like you've
had have you ever had a concentrated orange juice? You had to like to
take this blob of frozen ship and then add water to it. Well,
that that's breaking bad in one condensed form. Every episode like breaking Bad,
broke out, it's its ickness. Ozark was a condensed version. Every episode
made you feel unclean, and I was just thinking of Florida or whatever it
was. That place looks humid. Oh no, it's Georgia. Yeah,
oh well, you know it's still look very sticky. The whole eating that
fucking concentrate is delicious. It is. I'm not gonna lie. It's make
your cheeks tart. Yeah, I'm not sure we were allowed to advocate that
on the podcast Don't eat orange Juice Concentrate. I suppose we'll do. I
don't give a fuck. You can fuck that concentrate if you want to.
I don't care. You can. You can send us pictures if you want
to, but don't obviously Bevan. What are the fantastic media moms? Okay,
yeah you did? Sorry, give it its turn? Is it?
Fucking yea? This is what you get when you don't have a woman organizing
things. Just goes after rails. I ain't going to pick the alien queen
from aliens m nice. Yeah, I mean she was, you know,
she had they were just kind of doing her own thing. You had one
purpose, raise some kids. Some people get involved with that. Some American
military very gung ho about murder your children. And what do you do you
get in for the you get in for the long hole. You start just
laying out them kids, you know, you've got to frustrate the military machine
with the sheer weight of motherly love. Well, I mean she had she
did her job. She's like, I'm supposed to procreate and dominate everything forever.
That's the whole point, you know. And she she did her job.
She did it well. She raised good children, you know, and
she yeah, well, good at what they were supposed to do. But
then she meets other supermom Ripley, and I'm thinking, like Ripley, like,
okay, you've took care of one kid, she's got like hundreds.
You know. She didn't. That's the thing. She didn't take care of
her. Even her own daughter by the time she came out a Deepree was
dead. She was she was an absentee mom, remember that she was.
She made up for it by taking another kid. And I think, yeah,
she knew new for like seventy two hours. Congratulations, Yeah exactly.
She didn't have like she didn't like, she didn't lay five hundred eggs,
all right, the alien queen did because she was a dedicated man. And
she caught her a bitch. And that's not that wasn't nice. Yeah,
get well, get away from my one child I've known for two days.
Yeah, how about you get away from my five hundred eggs, you prick,
stop murdering my my assets, sitting children. You know you've got a
flame thrower in my crash. You came to my house and fucking with me.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, you can't just you cannot just go
into a crash with a flame throw You just can't. So yeah, I
appreciate the sacrifices the alien queen mate. You know, it's it didn't go
her way. It's a bit of a shame. But mind you, there
were like, you know, six more alien movies. So who's laughing now,
Ripley, And that's just a no technology, no nothing, just through
the power of being. Now, Ripley did at one point become a mom
to an alien baby in the in the in the Alien's four resurrections, So
yeah, I know that's true. But then she immediately fleshed out of an
airlock as she did flush it out of an air So again, Ripley's not
a good mom. Let's just thick. Yeah, that's like rule number one,
don't do that. Don't flush your baby. Sorry, I didn't raise
your daughter, and you'd like, you know, you grew up and died
of old age. But I was busy flushing someone else's child out of an
airlock. Chapter one of what do you expect when you're expecting? Don't flush
your baby out of an air lock? Yeah? Absolutely so. Yeah,
I'm gonna put the Alien Queen up there with Arnold Schwarzenegger as well. I
think are the most dedicated mums in media history. It's she is okay.
This mom's been betrayed many, many times and every I don't think there's any
incarnation where I don't love her immediately Mortitia Adams. Now, could it be
because I was a young Gibbie and the goth girls turned me on? Maybe
maybe I don't know. I didn't realize we would. It was MILF's Day.
Well, it can't. The two are not mutually exclusive, my friend,
there's no reason that it can't. Snifflers, the mob we can bring
her in, would say that any guidelines for what you know constitutes what we're
looking for in a mom. Yeah, but you know, I'm sending the
flowers to one woman on Mother's Day, Kittie, and it's the hot Gulf
Chick, I've got a crush. Well you're not sending it to the Alien
Queen either, but yet we spent eight minutes on her, so fuck I
would if I could. Yeah, you know, I don't know if that
works, but like, yeah, Martitia Adams like every like, that's the
kind of quirky, dark mom that I like. You know, I'm glad
I'm not related because that way I can like my lusting isn't weird according at
least corning to Pornhill, it could be a little bit normal, but I'm
not sure what the point is. Yeah, she was like, if that's
a step mom. Martitia Adams is always great and every whether it's the old
show that Angelica Houston playing, even the New Mom with Captain Zita Jones on
that show on Netflix, every incarnation of Martitia Adams is freaking phenomen She's dark,
twisted, dark sense of humor, capable, strong, and uh yeah,
just the right amount of like, yeah, you're good. It's also
a terrible mother, except by Adams family standards, which by anyone else's standards
would be child matter. Well, I mean like massive negligence at least right
independence. I think you're miss staking independent. She has taught those children how
to like, you know, survival tactics, you know, like Wednesday's const
trying to kill Pugsy and like. But she raised Pugsly with enough wherewithal that,
like he knows how to avoid being assassinated. So you see your toddler
crawling towards a chain, sour, It's like, don't get in the way.
I'm teaching it independence. Yes, I mean the untold stories. She
had seventy five other kids. These are the ones that learn lessons really fucking
quickly. Oh right, I'll buy that, I guess. And she's hot.
Yeah you can. You can hand awave a lot of things. If
you're a hot golf chick, you can't. Yes, yeah, but you
got another you got it not hot? Say hot mom? You got a
mom? I got I got two that are similar o the mom from Signs
the movie and uh my dad was finding Nemo. Yeah, it was only
a maritime before we landed on ASA. Okay, well, you know,
like Signs, she just had the presence of mind to check out before the
events of that shitty movie Swing Swing Away. She left very specific advice,
which she could have no way predicted would be useful at all. But you
know, that's how we've proved God is real. Yeah, sucks small feet.
I love that. And all right, and then, uh, Nemo's
mom. You know, most the decency to die, well most mothers,
you know, you have a child with this disgusting deformity, and you'd think,
all right, well, I'm going to kill this baby and eat it
because I'm a fish. He just established rule one, don't flush your baby.
That's that's she didn't get a chance to well, no, because instead
she took her own life. And for that I recommend her. That's that's
self sacrifice right there, which didn't take her own life. She was eaten
by a fish, but sold dad says the real uh kid, isn't that
what we all tell our kids. She went out for a pack of cigarettes.
Yeah, and giant fish don't look in the basement. But the real
horror of finding Nemo is that the clownfish, in that scenario where most of
them die, the male would have sort of forced it into a female,
so the dan would have been like, well, deformed enough. Yeah,
it's like you're a woman now. And my wife that's why he was so
desperate to find him, because he wanted to fuck his son christ and that's
why Nemo's dad gets Mother of the Year from me. Oh, I'm not
sure if that's true. It's something I read on correc dot com. You
gotta take her with a pinch of salt, I wrote. I wrote an
article on Correct, so it's hardly a bunch of fucking experts, Like dude,
you used to write for that magazine website. I wrote like two articles
for Correct and apparently, like they, they had differences of opinion on what
Mother of the Year actually means and that's why they're shipped. Now, fuck
you Correct. No, I'm kidding, it was. It was a wonderful
site. I used to go to the website all the time. Did you
hang around in the writer for him? No, because I wasn't active writing
at the time while I was doing all with my own personal stuff. That's
where Steven I met. Yeah, that I wish I had. It's one
of those like I I had always wanted to be a writer with my stepdad
would say, you can't be a writer's shop and get a real job kind
of thing. So I ended up joining the military after I drank out of
school. And uh, but I always wrote my spare time. So it
was towards the end of my military career, I was reading a lot of
indie books that have been opened up thanks to UH Amazon, people getting create
space and people could get get out there without having like trying to be patted
on the head by the Big six or if you weren't blessed to go to
college and meet the right professor, hook you up with an agent or New
York contact and do an internship. You know, you actually get a chance
to get your voice out there. So that's my military career is when I
started like getting back into it. So by the time I retired, when
my first book was published. So, m it's a shame you didn't go
on correct a little eliot. That's kind of what they afford. That's why
I was I wish I had. It's one of those like I didn't have
the confidence in myself. It wasn't tool after I read a couple of books
that are like, there were good books. I think it was a Peter
Klein's X Hero series about zombies and superheroes and Jim Burnheimer's book Confessions of a
Dealer with super Villain that they were like I didn't realize you could just write
fun books. I thought everything had to be like you couldn't go with some
when I was broken, broke into this world. I mean, I read
like some of the Hartness books, and I read some of like some of
the Critical Failures, and I read some of these things like people are just
having fun and people are reacting to fun. You know, it's like these
So it's like, oh shit, you can just do this. So that's
how I started working on my own material and blah blah blah blah. So
here I am. Oh, I just got drunken picture correct. I wish
I had. You know, I was just an asshole in their forums for
about three years and I didn't learn any lessons from that. But you know,
it was good, quite good. Mechanically. I thought. I met
Bevin, I thought, and then out of spite, I read his books.
Oh he's writing book. Yeah, this is embarrassing, and I better
write a book too, And that's how I wrote a books. Now,
where there is inspiring is get me story. Mine is not inspiring. I
wish I had started sooner, because the problem is all you fuckers who came
along before me, I came right after you. So it's like you guys
are a corner of the markets, like because you guys are like like Drew
and all those guys are all doing like the web serial format so they could
just transfer it over to book medium. The rest of us are playing Johnny
Gum Lately and like I got, I'm like, I'm sitting at the kids
table suck it for scraps at this point. So fuck off. Yeah,
that was like that was a golden era there. Yeah, that's true.
Anyway, it was suffice to give another moms or unless unless Nemo's dad is
your mom, you're piggy backing off of him. I think that's what we
landed on. I mean that was a horrible suggestion. Actually's mom was my
suggestion, not the dad. Yes, well you've opened up a can of
worms. There be fish worms. Aha, Uh, then I'll jump to
mine. Then that would be the real hero slash star of the very first
Friday the thirteenth. Maybe Jason's mom, this woman loved her filed so much,
and these fucking horny teenagers did not pay attention. They didn't do their
fucking job. I realized in nineteen eighty they didn't have Netflix. So the
thing he had was weed and sex, so they their hair. Poor baby
died and this lady said, not today. Teenagers that had to come back.
Long before Jason was ever a mutant zombie reborn from the lakes of Crystal
Lake, the real hero was Jason Vorhees's mother who decided to like take these
teenagers to task. I'd just like to point out, even in the age
of Netflix, weed in sex is doing fine. We don't have to worry.
I think it's on a decline. That's why we is legalized. They're
trying to like, please God, like, please take this weed for shit's
sake, you know, trying to make it cool. Now. Hey,
every time you watch a documentary of like what Happened to like, you know,
sports stars or athletes or music musicians, everything set in the sixty seventies
and early eighties, like they didn't have anything but sex, drugs, and
rock and roll. They had no distractions, you know, so be right.
Oh yeah, Jesus Christ, that's a great conspiracy theory. Hey,
you can have as much sex and weed as you want, but when do
you rather have clash of clans? Clash if clans brought to you, not
by the multiplayer came exactly what you can. No, I'm kidding. I'm
not trying to secretly say, but no, it's like when it was like
I think about it, like, man, a lot of these things would
like when I watch Goodfellows, I love that movie, I'll watch it a
million times. Was like every time he's like so high on cooking. Like,
you know, if you just could just sitting chill because I know the
you only had like three channels, But imagine if you had everything you've ever
wanted to see ever, Like you guys could have relaxed a lot if you
just learned, like there's something on Netflix for everybody or one of the streaming
services. I'm just saying, you know, you can just a little cook
on the side. Sure, don't get me wrong, but man, you
could that a lot of the aggression could have gotten out of you. You
know, maybe you didn't need to go see your girlfriend all the time.
You know, have have you seen Ozark? It's really fucking good. So
m hmm, that's true. Great speaking as a man who uh yeah,
great mom, and so you can speaking to somebody who lives by themselves.
I often think, Man, I'm glad I'm on this YouTube rabbit hole.
Otherwise I would have a serious coke problem. Yes, instead of a jovial
one, just a jovial drinking and coke like this is this is white level
coke. It is fine. This is just like three days a week,
that's fine. Yeah, okay, so the supermums of all right, let's
not we've all had like two each now, right, can we make him
fight? Now? That's what it's all about. I got one last one.
Okay, Okay, let's go. I got Brian's mom from life for
Brian. Oh wow, good call. She sucked a lot of Roman dick
bring her son up right, Yeah, and he was a winy piece of
ship, made some sacrifices and she kept him humble. Mm hmm. Yeah.
That could have went. It could have went a real different way.
If somebody came up and said it had been a spoilt kid, they were
like you and a Messiah. We could have had a Yes, yeah,
we could have had a Jesus might have had some trouble, but no,
she partially worry free life, a trouble free life. Well he did right
up until he died. I mean it was going pretty well for a while,
right, But yeah, but he could have had some serious competition there,
had Brian's mother not raised him to be a humble man. Mhm,
I don't know. Was he a whiny piece of shit? I think yeah,
well I thought like from our point of view, he had some reasonable
grievances. But she absolutely better. I mean, I'm looking at it through
her eyes, which are level with Roman's pubes a lot of times. Ah,
that's true. She was a great mama and a fantastic comedic character whom
we can all recognize in her own lives. Probably maybe just me. I'm
from England, all right, Oh ship, what's going on? Hey?
Gabby explained it to this audio listeners who cannot see it. I pulled up.
I did a little like prior to this podcast, I did. I
think, I like, who are some like some of the top misunderstood moms
in movies and television? And I grabbed seven from that list, because not
every not everybody knows every sorry, trying to grid the most popular ones that
are very recognizable. So I've got a screen in front of our in front
of mister Steve and mister mister Bob. Here of good I have a side.
This is good side, this says bad and we've got a side which
they go. And the characters are Peggy Bundy from Mary but Children, Mama
for Fertellity from the Goonies, Circe Lanister from Game of Thrones, Betta DiAngelo's
character from All the Chris from All the Vacation Movies, Sarah Connor and Skyler
from Breaking Bad. And we've gotten a side. Are these good moms are
bad moms? And once they're under side, we ranked them according to that.
So if you want to start at the top, gentlemen, Peggy Bundy,
good mom, bad mom? Like this at the top again, we're
talked in good mom, bad mom. Well, good miles, bad mail.
That's for that's, that's for this, for this, for this quarm
of three to side. I could not understand as a kid. I understand
now that Married with Children was a suberversion of the sitcom, but at the
time I was just a kid. I didn't realize the subversion. I was
like, why does that man not want to fuck his wife? Right?
What's wrong with that man? She's a handsome woman. I'm not gonna call
her beautiful, but she's always been a handsome woman. Not just a handsome
woman. She has a way about it, Gibby, she could. She's
got a voice like an angel too. Yeah, yes, overspilling from a
low cup top. You know, as a young man. This is let's
say young man, maybe like an eight year old boy, probably today.
I mean, have you seen Sunday. I'm like, yeah, it's just
like dead Bundy. What is your fucking problem? Well, al, buddy,
Well his problem has been well discussed in lots of other fucking podcasts,
more with much more listenership than us. I'd love to say I slipped up.
I talked about a mass murder that's going to put people off, But
if anything, I've just raised our listenership. Now, the good side is
she I'm trying to think of the good things she'd do in the show.
I'll ship some of the bad. She did neglect her children, she harangued
her husband. She was faithful, though she was a faithful my wife not
a great Yeah, she uh haranged her kids. I think it depends like
but I think it was at one time. It was like thirteen when the
show started and Kelly was sixteen. Yeah, that's not neglect. They're fine.
I mean they she did had they did have the other child from her
cousin that she did. They did take it. I think they called him.
He was number four, is what he. All I had was a
number for a name, And like there was a period of time where they
took it, like the cousin all everything. They brought in another kid for
a while in the later seasons of married with children, so you know,
she did help raise a child that wasn't hers. So that's that's definitely the
good column. Mm hmm. Well the kids were awful, Bob. Again,
Bob says nature nurture. They did. They weren't set up to succeed
ever, So let's let's not uh, let's not. Yeah, let's not
discount the father from this. Yeah, he worked hard. Yeah, he
was tired by it's for Ted Bundy, Albundy, you'd be ted. You'd
be a lot happier if you let your horny, beautiful wife just suck your
dick, just like you might chill the fuck out. When they did do
it, it was very bad at it very quick. When she hurt her
jokes was like you're over very quickly. I mean I know he was like
he's he will always remind you that he was an athlete and you're trying to
score first and fast as an athlete. I understand that, but you know,
I know you're trying to go for your best time. But so she
was. She was never very pleased with his performance in the bedroom. So
okay, but you can do that like like medically speaking, even at his
age, like four times a day, just and she's up for it.
So you know, you're a miserable man. You know, take like three
and a half minutes or whatever it is you got, yes, and just
be happy, Ted, Just be happy with your beautiful, overly horny,
cartoonishly horny wife compared to well, I mean, I think she was a
champion. Yeah, I'm ready to decide she's doing the good column for me.
Yeah, I agree with that. So she's going over here to good
definitely paying her in a good call, all right. Like for all that
family's faults, she I don't think she was. She is not the source
of that problem. She's right, I'll never let go of the good old
days. He didn't, he didn't appreciate what he had. He did not
the kids weren't all that bad. The kids were. He sold shoes like
twenty years and he never got promotions. So there's probably a reason for that,
And so I would have drowned the boy kid. Yeah, I like
Bud, all right, So yeah, she goes over to the good column.
Let's hop down a mama for Telly. Now, yes, well we're
out of the hole in the zone here. She tried the murder her children.
She tried to maim Chunk's hand. She did lock one of her kids
away. You know, we're not her children, but yes, all right,
one of her kids. She locked them, her own kids away.
You know, she was really shitty to Jake. I mean, yeah,
she sprung him out of prison, but she fucking hated him. Yeah,
but she also spent all her money on Francis's hair piece, uh, you
know, because she favored one child so much. She favored Francis. But
she did break Jake out of jail. That she went to great lengths to
do that, you know, shaking of somebody, you know, on a
podcast with more than his fair share of bowl guys. Maybe Francis, she
should have just fucking sucked up. She should have leaned into it. Course,
as I said that, as I'm wearing my hat and not exposing it.
Yeah hat dude, Yeah, she she exactly, he did wear one.
Uh uh, I think it was actually a flat cat fuck. I
feel even worse now. Uh So she was also organized criminals, so she
had a she was career oriented. You know, she was good, good
at what she did. The police knew about the fortelegion. They were always
on the run, so you know they were mostly successful. Well they're always
on the run. To me, isn't particularly successful. They did not look
like a rich they were caught. I mean, even when they did,
they broke them out of jail and like you know, they said a little
bit of fire. Now, they were brought down by children, but that's
that's because those movies are designed that way, you know. But yet she
did try to we have to appreciate them in the medium in which they are
presented. They were brought down by children, they were frequently caught apparently.
No, I'm gonna say she's not a great criminal, and she's not a
great mother. Also, No, not a great mother at all, unless
no matter what, she goes over to the bad column. She fucking slapped
Jake across the face with a gun. She did also, I think she
did exactly. And of course we can't forget to throw mama from the train.
So unfortunately, sorry, you are just unfortunate victim of type casting.
Moving on, Sir c Landis are from Game of Thrones. Well not again,
mother, I disagree. Well, she was very much about like her
kids at any cost. Yes, she was a fantastic mom. Had she
not done anything, all her children would be alive. They wouldn't be kid
like that whole like fantasy medieval setting where everybody trying to fuck somebody over.
So she's she's just trying to like get in there first, and like she
manipulated, she maneuvered her away into the to the to the kingdom, so
all her children would be what's it called royalty. Unfortunately, if I remember
correctly, Brad did have one kid with Robert, and unfortunately I think she
had it. She took care of that kids who never actually was born.
Yeah, well just say if she had not taken any single if she had
just said I'm the queen. Now, yeah, my husband's fat, but
also I'm not a peasant living in a pile of shits, which everybody else
says. I'm just gonna go with this, squeeze out. Some kids have
a life of privilege. Not only would all her children be alive, but
pretty much every character and Game of Thrones would be alive. Yes, so
I'm gonna say that I'm winning bad as well because I don't know, hang
on here, people lived and all your child ldren die. You fucked up?
Now, to be fair, when you watch the show and read the
books, she was, it was prophesied that, you know, bad things
are gonna happen to her kids, so she fought tooth and nail to keep
them alive. She tried to keep her daughter alive, and her daughter was
killed beyond her fault, the son was killed beyond her fault, and the
other son took his own life. Is medical England if you had twelve kids,
because yeah, like nine of them we're gonna die. You know you
need at least three. You need some buffer kids, right, So she
started them off wrong by inbreeding. You know, I have seen that guy.
Okay, first of all, like you look at this, look at
Jamie, and you look at Robert Brathy and I'm like, not for nothing.
You know, was a fun guy. If they had Hawaiian shirts back
then, they would have put one on him. He was a john she
of Western ros. I'm totally tracking that, but I'm saying that e old
medieval porn hub makes the incest thing way more natural. So lanister lost is
a thing. So and also half the white hair people are related. Yeah,
she could have just said, like, ah, right, okay,
I'm married to this oath fair enough. Maybe just put some extra bacon in
his breakfast. You know, he's not gonna be a problem for long he
was. I mean, to be also fair, he's hoarring in front of
her. He just goes to his like everybody knows. It's like, hey,
later, lady, I'm gonna go bang these these bitches over here.
I need to hit my horring today, see you later. Kind this is
kind of what the whole thing is for, I suppose. I don't know
if they could be humiliating, but at least she didn't have to be under
no. But she did make her brother's stand guard out beside the door so
that he knew that he was in there banging something that wasn't his sister.
Yeah, she might be a bad person, by I lean that she's a
good mom. I don't know. All the children are dead mostly by her
actions. And I mean, I still go back to she just started them
off wrong by fucking her brother. Yeah, she's just the ultimate. It's
not the kid's fault. That's not the kid's fault. I'm not I'm not
blaming the kids. I'm blaming her. Okay, okay, I'm outvoted.
Then if you guys are voting bad, I can't. It's it's two to
one. It's democracy, all right, Sorry, sircy, I tried.
I think you're a good bad person, but a good mom. Why are
you apologizing people? Because I like that actor? She's kind of hot.
She is. Did you see that that brother's grim movie got off of it?
She's beautiful in it. This is not a milf not milf chat,
mister Weverell, So we're a milf not milf chat. It would be very
different. That'd be like that, just be mama fertality on one side and
everybody else on the other side. Even the actress in real life might have
been very charming. I don't know. I don't know, all right,
they're old MILFs. Missus Griswald. I cannot remember her character's name. Beverard
DeAngelo is the actress. I cannot remember her character's name. Damn it.
What was Bob? You're see like your Vacation fanatic. U do you remember
her character's name? Because it was made before nineteen ninety, so I figure
that's why you just it's in the three year period of movies you watched exactly.
I don't know, but I have Internet. That's what I'm doing it
right now. Ellen Ellen, Griswold, Ellen, Ellen, that's it.
Ellen not only had to could tell her husband's constant wacky bullshit, which he
did a damn good job of. She was emotional rock for that guy and
also a fun character. But also there's a scene at the end of Christmas
Phon Vacation the police break in and they all point their guns at the Grizzwold.
Everybody else puts their hands in the air. She puts her hand on
her husband's cock. Now that is dedication. There is a woman who not
only loves her husband emotionally but has a deep physical need for some of that
Chriswold action. That's dedication and the past. Yeah, I don't know why
she was on the Misunderstood list when I pulled it up, like I've away
found her. Yeah, it's like, I mean, I think there was
like it was a even in European Vacation there was some like thing where like
some guys, she's like kissing or something by accents like by the point is
like like like Clark was also like trying to like Bank Christy Brinkley are getting
real tempted to it, and she forgave him for that. So yeah,
but I everybody, was she a good mom? Was she a good mom
for the kids? I mean, like, now, is she culpable in
any of Clark's bullshit? Like when they left the grandmother tied to the roof
of the of the van and she died, you know, is she culpable
for any of this? No, that doesn't really come into it because like
if she had left the one of the kids on top of the car and
they died, Oh no, Kevin, Kevin mccallister's mom's not in here from
home alone immediately bad mom. Sorry, the entire point of that movie because
she's a bad mom. Yeah, that's true. And she's forgiven at the
end of it by an old child and I'm like, he is too young
to forgive you. You're a monster. Yes, No, Ellen Griswold is
uh, I'm gonna go said like the few times she didn't like Curtail her
husband's bullshit. We can't punish for that because that's like there's always just some
are going to slip through. That man was doing a lot of bullshit a
lot at the time. I agreed, Yeah, I mean I just can't
think of any instance with the kids that you know, she was in the
wrong. No, she was a good man. And then there were two
Uh Sarah Connor, Ah, you know what dedicated fuck the homeless guy.
God, I love that. Yep, yep, she was. She became
brother. Yeah, but she became everything she needed to be and terminated too
because she knew what was happening. So we might think maybe a little bit
hard on the kid, maybe a bit crazy, but she knew that kid
was going to be fighting giant, murderous robots, so terminated too. I
completely, Uh, I give her that. I think she was the mum
she needed to be. You know, I I agree with you now for
the sake of just you know, conspiracy. Yes, you took your kid
in and out of Mexico, taking him how to handle weapons, cheat steel
lye uh do bank fraud. A lot of things that are like, uh,
you know, I don't fall into the good mom category, but that's
just and she wasn't gonna Miles Dyson. She was gonna go murder to do
it, pull a hate crime and go killer her intelligent black man. Uh,
to save the future. You know so, Uh, I don't see
what race has got to do with it. If this man is going to
invent the robots to kill, you know what, you can also do not
just murdering. You can just talk the conversation this guy, I'm going to
arm a Gertten. Oh but he is black. Yeah. Oh, it's
such a dilemma I would have. Now, that's like I'm saying, like
I think she she was. She was a hard mom making hard choices for
the right reasons. Some hot bison. Unfortunately Edward for a long group to
look like uh, like you ever pulled a body out of the out of
the river after three days? What he looks like now? But well that's
the thing. He grew up to be unattractive enough that they didn't include in
another movie, so they changed it by having him killed in front of Sarah
Connor, which means she fucked up at one job. Oh that's actually a
good point, hang on, oldest stuff. She did become the ultimate stopped.
She's good mom. But the fact of the story continues, and she
kind of failed at the job of like prepping him. Yeah, the one
job she had to do that she became the ultimate apocalypse. I haven't seen
this. I've only seen through Terminator too, but yeah, personal lack of
trying. Uh yeah. They were kind of relaxing on a beach, which
seemed like very like non Sarah Connor. Yeah, he should have been like,
hey, Mom, we're at the beach, and she'd be like,
okay, take your glock. Yeah, we're stopping just a Terminator two.
I say, good Mom. Further, well, someone's fucked with the timeline
Gibbies. All right, let's just pretend we're on the good Terminate movie timeline.
There's nothing after two in the good pile and sounds like a plan.
Good Mom, Okay, now Skyler from breaking bad now. I would say
the main problem with Skyler, the main reason everybody hated Skyler, is because
she was getting in the way of a good time every I think it was
the lazy hand job she gave her husband on his fiftieth birthday while she was
looking at her tablet, like jerking them off. You know, he's fifty
and he's like, you know, not that great. It's fine. It's
you know, he gets a hand job, that's great. A hand job
is a hand job. She's distracted. I think she's looking at building listings
or something like that. I don't know. I forget whatever job at the
touch, got job to do. He's not making much money. This is
like the crux of chemistry, teacher, here's the thing after twenty years,
that you can make decent money in a school system for twenty years, you
know, like, yeah, he chose. He was a very truculent man.
Now, I'd say Skyler as like a wife and mother, made this
decisions and had misgivings that were entirely reasonable when put through the filter of I'm
trying to watch a fucking show here, lady. Yeah, as soon as
you put it through that filter, it's like, Skylet, you're annoying.
I don't care if you think what your husband is doing is immoral. I'm
having a good time. Because like she might have been the prototype and Laura
Lenny's character from Ozark was the perfection thereafter, yes, but for the first
few seasons she was just like, I think it's unreasonable that you continue to
fight. She fucked d Yeah, but yeah, again, I think that
was kind of a reasonable response to the situation she'd be put in. Yeah,
she now to think she did. Like she took care of Walt Junior.
She took care of the baby, daughter's name I don't remember. You
know, she tried to battle her way, try to get him out of
the stuff to take because it's not about being a good or bad wife.
This is about being a good or bad mom. And you know, she
took care of the kid, trying to hold the family together. She tried
to get Walt stop, but then she ultimately like got a little me Beth
and addicted to the power. Yeah. Well, I think for a while
as she was like maybe having the FBI, my own brother in law,
super Cup and the Mexican cartel trying to kill is is a good environment for
children. And call me old fashioned, sure, I think she might have
been right. She might have been onto something there. And you know,
but what was constantly gaslighting her all the time? All that he was I
mean that was he was really good at that. He was very and it
was fun. I like to see him there. He was a master of
his craft. So I hated Skyler for no good reason of it than I
am trying to because you're following this villain being a bitch. So well.
The thing I love that show a lot when you break it down from stories,
just just strip the acting away and just look at the story. It's
a it's a story of incredible plot contrivances because it's he's stuck in this he's
stuck in this vand oh no, who's outside. It happens to be the
dea, but it's his brother, the one guy, Like, so he
knows to call the sister in law to get him to leave. You know,
this stuff only works because it's contrived to be that way. But the
acting is so amazing and a shot so well that you're like your brain kind
of skips over these narrative leaps of logic. Yeah, he's so goddamn charismatic
that you hate Skyler because like, you want to see this guy do more
meth and get in out of trouble, you know, you know, And
it's like and the one person's like maybe you should stop, Like shut up,
woman, you know, how dare you stop his meth empire? You
know he's gonna be the next Chicken Man. So Syla will you stop fucking
with the vibe. Right, we have we have misguided hate towards Skyler because
Walt was so goddamn charismatic. Uh. Is she a good mom though?
That's the baltimate question, saying that at the end of it, she does
sort of get in on it. She gets with the fucking program. But
uh, you know she probably does that because we'll by this point, well,
Walt set it up to it look like he she like you, bitch
you, and he's trying to cry over the phone to make her, to
make her pain her to be a good one. So he gets all the
money. So she got all the money and so be there for Walt,
Junior and the baby. Uh. And she went along with it because she
what was best for the family. So good mom, bad mom. It's
just tough though, because I think if she would have gotten on board earlier,
like she could have been the she was trying to be the glue that
holds the family together. She could have been the glue that held the very
successful and rich family together. Yeah, but then again, her immediate response
of don't, don't deal math is quite a reasonable response for most people.
Yeah, don't be my first response, not just don't do it, just
don't make it and sell it. So yeah, don't don't deal math.
Yeah, it's like it's a reasonable response. I don't fault her for having
that response. She wasn't to know. She is the main character in a
very popular TV program that I was trying to enjoy. That's not her fault
as a mother. Yes, I'm gonna say good on the on the balance
of things, I'm going to say good, Bob good or bad? Ah.
Oh, I'm on I'm on the fence. If if you're leaning good,
then I'll feel better about being on the fence. Yeah, I'm leaning
good. I've never had to make Brian Crenston, you know, come with
my hands. So yes, if you want to, I'm sure he wouldn't
say no to it, you know, I no, no, I don't
know if that makes me all right? So the bad side, Okay,
who's the worst mom? Mom? For Telly or Circe Lanister? Oh well
one of them has a much high body count. Yes, yeah, well
we don't know what. We don't know children, but she never actively hated
her children. Well, just based on what Bob just said, all children
here are dead. These kids are at least alive in jail and Sloth has
a better life now, no thanks to her. So I think Circe is
the top man that I feel bad because again I don't think she's a bad
mom. So but wanted to put her on the good list. I did.
She's a good mom, she's a bad person. If Circe had run
they gang, the Goonies would be fucking dead. Oh no, if Circe
had run the good yeah, those kids would never made it out out of
ore. No, like Data is unfortunately up at heaven. Like that'd be
like Francis, I love you, you look great with a shaved head.
She hold these children in the face in the Oh no, she would have.
She would have messed around that blender. She just want to chopped Chunk's
hand off like that and just now made him and made him eat it.
So you know, here you get a little piggy eat it. No,
we're not leaving until you eat it. But oh my god, I want
to watch the Circe Lanser version of Goonies. And yeah, that's sounds awful
and great. Yeah, doesn't it? All right? So I think we
got the Yeah, oh we got we got decide who's the supreme mother.
Now, yea, who's the supreme mother office misunderstood Mother's list, it's missus
Griswell, she's not exactly. She's number one, hands down, she's number
one. Let's make it fair. Let's look at the other ones. Okay,
well, I mean there's number one, and who's who's left over?
We got Peggy Bundy, Sarah Connor and Skyler. I think Sarah Connor shouldn't
take the next spot for making all the efforts you did. You know,
Peggy made no effort a good mother, just for deepault for not fucking it
up too bad, doing nothing. Okay, I think I agree with that.
You have a prob with that, Steve. Yeah, no, I
just flawless logic. That's what people come here for. Give me flawless logic.
That is true, all right? Next up Skyler or Peggy. Hmm,
Well, we're saying like half a hand job to Brian Cranston or just
constantly trying to fuck out Bundy. It's got to go to Peggy for me.
It's not my fault that he didn't accept it. He would have been
a much happy I might have to vote Skyler only because like she did go
to like lengths, and she had to make the ultimate decisions. And at
the end of the day, she got rid of her meth head husband got
to keep the money, and the kids are gonna have a better life because
of how she worked everything. So my money, my vote goes to Skyler.
It doesn't matter what you know. Your hand jobs and fucking your husband
is now what counts. It's hand jobs and fucking your kids. This is
about mothers, that's true. Yeah, wow, thankfully neither of these women
gave hand jobs or that we saw their kids. Well, we haven't looked
at the fan fake stuff yet, yeah, so nor should anyone. So
if we're going by that, I think it's Skyler. And at the end,
at the very at the bottom of the good pile is Peggy Bundy,
like at a bum of my good pile. Yeah, okay, this is
fair and just and the democracy and act, my friend, Well, at
the heart of democracy must be justice or it's all for not. And I'm
satisfied with this conclusion. Well done, chaps, We've solved Mother's and Mother's
Day. I knew we could do it without the broad's interfering. Yeah.
I truly hope that the ladies of ad take over to Father's Day because we're
going to roasts hard. Well we did it really because of me, mainly,
specifically you specifically. Yeah, well it's not Mother's Day where I am.
All right, that's true. The Happy Mother's Day Americans. Yes,
Happy Mother's Day's all the moms out there. Thank you. Yeah, put
your feet up, joy yourself. Pray you never make it onto one of
our ranking lists. Remember Ellen griswolll' is the target, not Circe lmbster.
Don't make incest baby to let them die. So well, on that note
of really solid advice, we'll say goodbye to your listeners. Goodbye bye everybody.
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