WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.159 --> 00:00:04.559 Dad's on would like to draw your attention to the fact that the following content 2 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:08.679 is made up of humorous adult material and is intended for immature not easily triggered 3 00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:33.840 audience. You have been warned. Hey guys, yeah, I said, 4 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:40.320 guys. What do you call a glossary of penis related words? A dictionary? 5 00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:44.240 A dictionary that's correct. A dictionary is correct. I like it. 6 00:00:45.079 --> 00:00:53.320 Like that's a weird voice. I haven't heard that voice a while. I'm 7 00:00:53.320 --> 00:01:00.759 gonna call this a Stone safe house. Ladies and germs we have, we 8 00:01:00.799 --> 00:01:03.920 have the Stone present with us this episode your favorite in person. Hey, 9 00:01:04.760 --> 00:01:11.319 what the fuck is up? Dequal Nation? We started this almost three years 10 00:01:11.319 --> 00:01:14.640 ago. Yeah, and this will be well. We've done one live in 11 00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:19.959 person with a shitty device on Halloween. It actually came out good. Yeah. 12 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:22.799 Yeah, but this is the first time we've actually been able to legit 13 00:01:22.920 --> 00:01:27.920 record like this in person where we have legit microphones. I have a soundboard. 14 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.280 I can, I can, I can, I can act only hit 15 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:37.760 the button twice I got too excited. Yeah, one of those buttons is 16 00:01:37.760 --> 00:01:40.200 a porn hub one. I just can't remember which one I want to press. 17 00:01:40.239 --> 00:01:42.120 Wrong, No, not yours? I think it's this one. Yeah, 18 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:49.280 yeah, there it is. So yeah, well Dad's on Dequel episode 19 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:55.680 one. I'm known, I'm Dome, I'm stone baby. I almost forgot 20 00:01:55.680 --> 00:01:59.000 what to do, right, I missed that a little bit. I gotta 21 00:01:59.480 --> 00:02:00.680 I can say that. I gotta get used to doing this now. Yeah, 22 00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:02.760 I've been doing this the whole time. I'm not going to do this. 23 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:07.719 You need like a rotating swivel for those listening only, which is all 24 00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:19.439 of you, right, yeah right, yeah, it's normally looking forward is 25 00:02:19.479 --> 00:02:23.719 easy? Or staring off into space? Yeah yeah yeah, but yeah, 26 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:27.759 whatever, So I guess, uh, I mean, you have any any 27 00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:30.039 retard talk or anything you want to get out of the way before we just 28 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:35.800 go go right in or what? Yeah you do? Okay, I do? 29 00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:40.840 I do. So last night after we got home, uh, I 30 00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:45.680 told the kids to go ahead and get their their space ready. I say 31 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:49.000 space because they like to sleep in the living room sometimes. So when we 32 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:51.319 do that, they have a blow up mattress. They plug it in, 33 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:55.039 they blow it up, right, I get this dead. It's not working. 34 00:02:55.439 --> 00:03:00.080 From Grayson, I'm like, okay, great, they broke it. 35 00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:02.439 Sweet. So I come out to I come out to living ear and He's 36 00:03:02.439 --> 00:03:07.000 sitting on the floor just flicking the switch up and down, and I'm like, 37 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:12.560 did you plug it in? Bud? Well? No, Like, 38 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:19.280 don't you think you have to? Well? No, like why would you 39 00:03:19.319 --> 00:03:23.319 not have to? How does electricity work? Bud? He's like, I 40 00:03:23.319 --> 00:03:27.280 don't know. Like, so you think the cord that's attached to the air 41 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:31.639 mattress would do something right? No? Like, what did you think it 42 00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:39.879 was for to pull it around? It's an He's like, no, Budy, 43 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:43.680 go ahead and plug it in. Plug it in. So he plugs 44 00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:46.319 it in. It gets better, So he plugs it in and he flips 45 00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:51.759 it down and it starts turns on and you hear it right well from experience, 46 00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:53.560 I could hear that it was going the wrong direction. It was actually 47 00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:58.639 sucking the airflow out correct. So I just decided to sit there and wait, 48 00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:01.520 and he's like, it's not working still, it's broken. I'm like, 49 00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:03.520 okay, wan't you go ahead and steek your mouth on it and try 50 00:04:03.560 --> 00:04:06.719 and blow it up with your mouth? And I thought it was just going 51 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:10.800 to be a joke and he wasn't actually going to do it. Needless to 52 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:13.520 say, he stuck his mouth right where the air was blowing out, and 53 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:15.919 he goes it tastes like, shit, I'm not doing that again. I 54 00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:18.680 was like, it tastes like what, it tastes like, pooh, I'm 55 00:04:18.680 --> 00:04:20.879 not going to do that again. I was like, plug it in, 56 00:04:21.079 --> 00:04:25.399 alright, flip the switch up one and it'll start to blow in and you'll 57 00:04:25.399 --> 00:04:28.519 be fine. And I walked away. I hear him laughing a couple of 58 00:04:28.560 --> 00:04:31.959 minutes later. Why because he flipped it back down and fucking stuck his mouth 59 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:38.439 on the whole again. I mean, this is the kid that retarded tart 60 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:46.600 comment came from. So for anybody that saw the happy Birthday post that we 61 00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:49.759 made a couple a couple of days ago, now, well we weeks ago. 62 00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:53.959 Now, Yeah, by the time this couple weeks a couple of weeks 63 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:58.879 that little t rex playing golf that was in homage to that. Yeah, 64 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:03.000 thank you, knew you to get it, but you uh well, uh, 65 00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:05.480 I guess we could just get into dad week and with throw it to 66 00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:08.959 the stone. Yeah, what what the fuck you been up to? Man? 67 00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:13.000 A whole lot of fucking school and work and that's about it. Not 68 00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:16.399 really too much to report on, uh except a report that I'm doing a 69 00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:21.240 lot of reports in school. There's so much, but I'm making some great 70 00:05:21.240 --> 00:05:26.160 progress and I just finished my freshman year and I still have two classes left 71 00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:29.720 in freshman year, but credit's wise. I'm going into my sophomore year and 72 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:32.519 by September i'll be a junior and I'll have successfully eliminated a year of school 73 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:35.920 in like four months. Nice. And it's been a lot of like fucking 74 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:42.279 nose to the goddamn pavement and it sucks. Yeah, but instead of four 75 00:05:42.360 --> 00:05:44.480 years, it'll be three, so in the end and it's worth it. 76 00:05:45.480 --> 00:05:51.360 But honestly, I really do miss doing this podcast so much, especially when 77 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:56.720 I'm sitting there and I'm like, I got to do a six page paper 78 00:05:57.040 --> 00:06:02.360 instead of having a blast doing this podcast. It was at this moment that 79 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:08.600 he knew he fucked up, like for real, like for real, that 80 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:11.759 is that is it. I'm sitting there going, oh, like, should 81 00:06:11.800 --> 00:06:15.279 I kill Hitler not kill baby Hitler for this ethics paper? And I'm like, 82 00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:17.959 we gotta, we gotta, we gotta bring that conversation up right now, 83 00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:21.959 yeah, because I think this is a great conversation to have. And 84 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:27.079 then we'll get back to the dad week, Okay, tell us the questions 85 00:06:27.079 --> 00:06:30.439 so we can answer it. So I had I'm in this ethics class and 86 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:34.639 I there was a discussion post this week where it was it's pretty much like 87 00:06:35.279 --> 00:06:39.399 a Facebook formula kind of a thing. It's like our main professor is like, 88 00:06:39.439 --> 00:06:42.279 Okay, this is what you're going to comment on. This a discussion 89 00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:45.160 post. I want you to post interact with the people's comments, and shit, 90 00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:46.560 right, that's like a giant chuck your grade to do weekly. The 91 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:51.680 discussion post was watch this twenty minute clip of do you guys remember when they 92 00:06:51.759 --> 00:06:56.120 brought back the Twilight Zone the early two thousands? Yeah, and fors Whittaker 93 00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:59.240 had hosted it. Yep. So it was a Catherine Heigel episode just before 94 00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:02.959 she got on like up and she was doing where she went to go kill 95 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:08.639 baby Hitler right back in like nineteen hundred ersim schema I was born. So 96 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:12.680 she goes back in time and she is faced with the ethical dilemma of killing 97 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:15.720 a baby, but it's Hitler. So she's like, do I kill it? 98 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:17.000 Do I not kill it? I don't know, And she had a 99 00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:23.519 really tough time struggling getting herself to kill Hitler. Finally Spoilerler in the end 100 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:28.480 she did. But what happens is this nanny that is watching this happen. 101 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:31.240 She goes and grabs a baby off the street and pace for it, and 102 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:35.120 then hey, here's your son, here's adof And then that ends up actually 103 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:41.240 being Hitler. And she actually caused us to be in what was she's her 104 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:44.600 own undoing, like it was crazy, but she was like okay, So 105 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:48.399 after seeing that, I want you to present your case on ethics. Would 106 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:51.639 you kill Hitler? Everybody in there was like yes, yes, yes, 107 00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:55.319 I ses and I was like, fuck all of you against the grain no, 108 00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:58.680 And I wrote a giant no discussion and I was like, this is 109 00:07:58.680 --> 00:08:03.160 why we don't know what would happen if we did kill baby Hitler. The 110 00:08:03.199 --> 00:08:07.000 butterfly efflect could really fuck everything up and we could be like destroyed by an 111 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:09.000 astroid or some shit because we decided to shoot or not shoot a bunch of 112 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:13.920 shit in the space because we didn't have the space race because Hitler wasn't here. 113 00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:16.839 Look at all the shit that came out of World War two, and 114 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:18.639 I was like, we literally don't know what could happen. So it actually 115 00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:24.040 works against the utilitarians point of view, which is a greatest amount of happiness 116 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:26.879 least amount of pain. Right, that makes sense. That's what we're looking 117 00:08:26.920 --> 00:08:28.519 into. Is that utilitarian to kill Hitler or not? So I wrote this 118 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:31.440 giant post. If not, there's like it was pretty compelling. There's like 119 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:35.960 four point five million Jews that would contradict that whole great amount of pain, 120 00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:41.600 amount of pain thing. Here's the thing though, and in the utilitarian view, 121 00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:45.000 it's the greatest amount of happiness for at least amount of pain. And 122 00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:50.240 my point was, do we want to make four point six million lives worth 123 00:08:50.279 --> 00:08:54.960 more than trillions plus for the rest of time? Right? One life matters 124 00:08:56.000 --> 00:09:03.679 AJF Marvel has taught me anything into that. But then hit matters, Yeah, 125 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:05.480 exactly, And that's that was another dilemma. It was like you're killing 126 00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:09.919 a baby, like can you go through? But we know, we know 127 00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:11.840 a lot of people like they aboord all the time. There's people that want 128 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:18.080 like third trimester abortions, so they have obviously no dilemma doing it. I 129 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:22.639 think me personally, we leave it as is because we we would have if 130 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:24.799 Hitler didn't exist, we would have one race and it'd be called Jew. 131 00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:28.519 The whole world would be jew. By this point, yes, and we 132 00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:35.360 would have the jokes. We wouldn't jokes. It be a bummer because we 133 00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:37.039 wouldn't have jokes about a bunch of people dying. So no, we shouldn't 134 00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:41.240 do it. There's a skit. There's a skit on the internet where this 135 00:09:41.320 --> 00:09:43.080 guy, this, this whole scenario happens right where these two guys are like 136 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:46.840 trying to decide whether they want to kill Hitler or not. And they and 137 00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:48.960 they don't write or they do they kill Hitler. They come back. I 138 00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:52.960 think they like the time machine is like a fucking washing machine or something. 139 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:54.879 And they come back and then they walk out of their apartment building and there's 140 00:09:54.919 --> 00:10:01.360 fucking Hebrew everywhere. There's people with dregs and like everywhere, and they're just 141 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:03.759 like, oh, we fucked up. Yeah I remember. I think you 142 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:07.720 sent that to him. Yeah. But I think here's the here's the more 143 00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:13.320 a dilemma. The more of a dilemma is why would you pose the question 144 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:18.120 as as the baby? Yeah, why not go back and kill Hitler's mom 145 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:20.639 and dad, like when they're on a date, or why not go back 146 00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:24.440 and kill Hitler when he's like nineteen years old? Yeah, when he's when 147 00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:28.799 he's going crazy a baby? Yeah, like he there's documentation that he was 148 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:31.559 actually seen by a psychiatrist at the end of World War One and they said 149 00:10:31.559 --> 00:10:35.919 he was unfit to lead because he's fucking crazy. They labeled him insane. 150 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.919 Yeah, and then after that he was like, Okay, well, I 151 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:39.559 don't give a shit about your shit. I'm gonna rise up. If you 152 00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:43.600 killed him right then, right, that would be so much easier than killing 153 00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:46.799 him as a baby. Right, Why does it have to be a baby? 154 00:10:46.919 --> 00:10:48.519 Yeah? I think I think one thing that that falls short on this 155 00:10:48.679 --> 00:10:54.919 argument all the time is Stalin and Marx and everybody else that was involved in 156 00:10:54.519 --> 00:10:58.440 the whole scenario of everything, in situation of everything, like they play a 157 00:10:58.639 --> 00:11:05.879 mass of part in all of this war and everything that happened. It wasn't 158 00:11:05.080 --> 00:11:07.600 just Hitler, Like, yes, Hitler was fucking crazy, and yes Hitler 159 00:11:07.639 --> 00:11:11.120 did a lot of bad things, but Hitler was also partly just a face. 160 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:15.919 Like he's kind of like the United States of America president, Like he's 161 00:11:15.960 --> 00:11:18.320 just a face. It's all the congressman pieces of shit up there, right, 162 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:22.360 There's so many faces behind the decisions. That's all the ones that survive 163 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:28.440 and fleda those are the real problem, the additional problem that nobody talks about. 164 00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:30.919 It's always just Hitler. It's like when you think of when you think 165 00:11:30.919 --> 00:11:33.759 of Manson, Manson was such a terrible person. Manson never actually killed one 166 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:37.759 person. Mentally, Yes, he was a fucked up person. You talk 167 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:41.960 about serial killers, he wasn't a serial killer. He didn't kill a person. 168 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:45.720 He had other people kill people, correct, but he didn't kill people 169 00:11:45.799 --> 00:11:50.320 himself. Granted that doesn't that doesn't discount him being an absolute psychopath. But 170 00:11:50.360 --> 00:11:54.879 I think people look at Manson the wrong way and and they count him towards 171 00:11:54.919 --> 00:12:00.519 a demographic that he's actually not part of. Yeah, you know, like 172 00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:03.080 he wasn't a real man. He wasn't like Dahmer, He wasn't like Bundy. 173 00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:07.159 He wasn't he didn't get his hands dirty like the real guys. You 174 00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:09.879 know. No, he was a chump. It was all right. Anyway, 175 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:13.440 back to dad week. So how's how's dad life going? You know? 176 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:16.480 It was a struggle a little bit like with Avery d to take a 177 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:20.519 couple of weeks there and really spend some time with her and really kind of 178 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:22.120 drill in her head that hey, daddy's got to have a lot of homework 179 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:26.279 coming up, so we're gonna spend as much time as possible together, but 180 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:28.600 you do have to give daddy a little bit of space so he can do 181 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:31.279 his homework. And I've been instilling in her mind that, like, listen, 182 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:33.960 the reason daddy's going to school so we can get our house, so 183 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:37.440 we can get our dog, so we can get you a car when you 184 00:12:37.480 --> 00:12:41.080 turn sixteen. All this stuff is gonna happen because of this little thing that 185 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:43.679 we have to do right now. And she's really come to understand that. 186 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:45.840 At first, she was like, I don't like it. I don't want 187 00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:48.279 a house, I don't want this. But over time, she's like, 188 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:52.799 Okay, you go do your homework because I want my dog. My dog 189 00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:54.759 is gonna be chased, and you're gonna get a dog too. It's gonna 190 00:12:54.759 --> 00:12:56.799 be called Zuma because paw patrol. Yes. And I'm like, whatever, 191 00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:00.399 kid, whatever you want to do, let's go for it. Just give 192 00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:03.919 me my fucking space to do my goddamn homework so I'll fucking explode my goddamn 193 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:09.360 seventeen hour days. They're dude, yeah, but it's worth it. I've 194 00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:11.799 actually been like, yeah, like pretty much my whole life has just been 195 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:16.759 right now Avery, School work, gym, that's it. And uh. 196 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:22.360 We actually had a moment at a day where I had gotten done with a 197 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:24.559 class and I was like, fuck, yeah, let's have like a Saturday 198 00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:26.360 just to ourselves. Let's go. I got all this side stuff done, 199 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:30.039 I got my main class done. Let's go to Calabunga. So we went 200 00:13:30.039 --> 00:13:33.039 to Calubunga and it was like one hundred and two outside at the end of 201 00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:35.480 April. Some shit. It was like kind of the first one they opened. 202 00:13:35.480 --> 00:13:39.039 It was that like little peaks y yeah, yeah, yeah. And 203 00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:43.639 we went and we were just swimming around. We're having a good time, 204 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:50.679 and the weirdest, like most like peculiar thing happened. Avery was going through 205 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:54.759 the water and she just like looks at me at some point and goes, 206 00:13:54.159 --> 00:14:01.159 Daddy, if you ever die, I'm going to be so sad because I 207 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:05.720 love you so much, and just whistles away into the fucking river and I 208 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:13.960 went She's like really getting into the zone of like getting philosophical, like I 209 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:16.879 was telling Jordan earlier yesterday, she hit me with this fucking question that like 210 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:20.960 threw me to my grave almost. She's like, Daddy, I need Can 211 00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:24.519 you do me a favor If I ask you a question, can you answer 212 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:26.120 for me? And I was like, of course, sweetheart, Like what's 213 00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:30.320 your question? She goes, why do people feel good and people feel bad? 214 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:37.840 Hmmm? Those aren't life savers avery. Get out of those. It's 215 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:43.480 a gummy bear. Yeah, that that. I didn't know what to say. 216 00:14:43.559 --> 00:14:46.480 I was like, the best thing I could come up with was it 217 00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:48.480 comes from the heart. Yeah, when people are mad, people are happy, 218 00:14:48.519 --> 00:14:50.720 people are sad, people are glad. It comes from the heart. 219 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:56.279 People feel from their heart. And she was like, Okay, I'm sad 220 00:14:56.279 --> 00:14:58.639 and I feel for my heart. It's weird. It's weird how you answer 221 00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:01.039 that question. Different for your kid versus your friend. Yeah, Like, 222 00:15:01.080 --> 00:15:07.960 if I asked that question, he's like anal. He's not saying that to 223 00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:16.360 Avory. Right, Well, it's true, I mean that damn. That 224 00:15:16.440 --> 00:15:20.840 might be. That might be what sounds we come from our humberto ships later. 225 00:15:20.039 --> 00:15:24.559 That's true. You did not eat humbertos. We did. We saw 226 00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:28.240 God h doum. How is your week? It was good. The barbecue 227 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:31.840 that we had yesterday was fun. It was nice. It was good to 228 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:35.399 have the kids kind of jump around the pool. Still working on that fucking 229 00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:41.039 patio. Yeah, that thing is is the bane of my existence right now. 230 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:46.960 Might be in the next few weeks looking for a new producer. Oh 231 00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:52.639 figure that out. Oh yeah yeah, speaking speaking of the devil. Really 232 00:15:54.320 --> 00:16:00.559 you will not fire me, sever she got it's good. So other than 233 00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:03.720 that, man, not much, you know, so yeah, same. 234 00:16:04.120 --> 00:16:07.679 We just think the barbecue is great. Food was great. Uh doing this 235 00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:11.399 sol shin dig We might have to make this like every couple of months, 236 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:14.600 have a j and Avery come down and I agree, record a special episode 237 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:18.399 of day Quill and keep him in the loop. Yeah, and you know, 238 00:16:18.440 --> 00:16:22.600 maybe we'll get Chat back at some point for a little Uh. However, 239 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:29.159 I do have to say it makes me sad to say it because I'm 240 00:16:29.159 --> 00:16:34.240 gonna miss those guys. But Meth, Mike and Chat April two zero you 241 00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:37.879 can find them when you find Jimmy Hoffa essentially. Yeah. Yeah, but 242 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:41.399 uh but you know, I still kept the I still kept the safe house. 243 00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:44.799 I just kind of have it under a temporary lease. You know, 244 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:48.240 it's a it's a spirit Halloween right now. I don't know why, but 245 00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:52.399 you know, they keep calling me up with like weekly and they're like, 246 00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:53.559 hey, we found another needle, and I'm like, shut the fuck up 247 00:16:53.559 --> 00:16:59.720 and just enjoy the space. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure Spirit Halloween 248 00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:03.119 and a mattress firm are just giant laundering, like money laundering, seems yes, 249 00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:07.359 Okay, question where would you keep the money at a mattress firm? 250 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:14.759 In the mattresses and you never sell the mattresses on the floor, there's just 251 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:18.839 floor models. Everything comes out of a box, so it just stays right 252 00:17:18.839 --> 00:17:21.839 there. Yeah, that's a great idea. We should open a mattress store. 253 00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:23.839 Done. I mean, we have no money to launder, but it's 254 00:17:23.880 --> 00:17:27.799 a start. It's a start. Well what I feel, so the way 255 00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:30.759 I feel mattress firm works is the second somebody tries to open it, the 256 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:34.319 mafia then contacts you and they're like, hey, you're gonna do this, 257 00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:37.640 but this is what's I owned down. Sign up, and then they just 258 00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.920 take over and you literally just become the face and they pay you X amount 259 00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:45.680 of money every month and that's how you make your money. Yeah, but 260 00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:48.319 they immediately take over. I won't say no, no, God, no 261 00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:52.920 mafia. If you're listening, hit us up, hit us up. You 262 00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:56.440 can find us all our socials at link tree, our emails there just just 263 00:17:56.720 --> 00:18:00.000 an email days on day at gmail dot com. You were in, Oh, 264 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:03.920 I did get some exciting news. I don't know if I if I 265 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:07.200 just happened. I was perusing golf things. We've been talking about this lately 266 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:11.559 that I've been doing a lot of golf research, right, and yeah, 267 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:15.200 like clothes, hats, all that stuff. Right. So I saw a 268 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:22.240 company called shank It Golf and they do opportunities for the and they claim right 269 00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:26.319 there they don't care how big you are, how small you are, It's 270 00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:29.119 about growth blah blah blah blah blah. And I was like, yeah, 271 00:18:29.119 --> 00:18:32.079 okay, well whatever, I'll apply on behalf of the podcast. Whatever. 272 00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:36.200 Well, we already now have a discount code that we can use for ten 273 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:40.720 percent off. And they just recommend that you do. I got to finish 274 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:44.279 getting everything set up, but they recommend you do posts like a couple times 275 00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:47.880 a month. And I mean, obviously we could we could pump it every 276 00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:51.160 single podcast episode, but we can stay tuned. If you're a golfer, 277 00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:55.359 you're into golf equipment, you know, hats, you know, clothes whatever, 278 00:18:56.160 --> 00:19:00.240 fun shit. Yeah, shank at Golf where he talks with for a 279 00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.039 little uh, a little ten percent off promo coach? Sweet so hell, 280 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:07.119 yeah, yeah, I will make a flyer. Yeah all uh, we'll 281 00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:11.519 get it done later and we'll start doing that. So yeah. Other than 282 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:15.720 that, yeah, what else? What else is up? I don't know 283 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:18.680 any jokes I do? Guys, want to do a joke off? I 284 00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:22.960 do? Yeah, let's do it. Who wants to go first? Should 285 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:25.519 we let him go first? Yeah? Go first? Go first. This 286 00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:30.599 is for you, Jordan. You're gonna love this. What do porn and 287 00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:36.240 metal music have in common? Head banging? Butt plugs? There was a 288 00:19:36.279 --> 00:19:41.119 lot more hair in the eighties, that's true. Nice. What do you 289 00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:45.640 call an autistic kid with a gun? My friend? You said? My 290 00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:52.240 friend? Would you say a good time? Special Forces? Why is it 291 00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:56.680 so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the 292 00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:00.880 bomb twice before she gets it. That's sorry, I don't worry. There's 293 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:07.079 more Japanese girls in the sea. Oh okay, So how do you know 294 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:11.039 milk is fast? When it's running down a titties? It's past your eyes 295 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.680 before you can see it. You know what the best thing about killing a 296 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:21.759 hooker is not only do you get your money back the second hours free day. 297 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:25.680 Speaking of I don't know really where I stand on abortion. I like 298 00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:36.160 killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice. So why was 299 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:42.440 the four year old anti vaxxer crying? Why because he's in the middle of 300 00:20:42.440 --> 00:20:48.759 a midlife crisis. Speaking of that, what is the essen cancer stand for 301 00:20:49.720 --> 00:20:55.079 survival? I was just about to say it, and I was like, 302 00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:59.880 Nope, you dip shit. A father walks into a pharmacy, goes to 303 00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:03.599 the counter and asks a pharmacist about getting birth control for his eleven year old 304 00:21:03.640 --> 00:21:07.160 daughter. My god, your eleven year old is actually active, the pharmacist 305 00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:10.759 exclaims. The dad replies, not really. She just lies there and cries. 306 00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:17.920 Oh for anybody wondering, all I'm doing is just reading what's on Reddit. 307 00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:22.440 And this is the first time I'm hearing it too. Reddit love it. 308 00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:30.079 What's stronger than family? Ben Diesel? Whatever? Fucking tree? Paul 309 00:21:30.119 --> 00:21:37.680 Walker hit. I'll never understand why people are offended by orphan jokes. It's 310 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:41.759 not like you can say it hit too close to home. Oh, what's 311 00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:52.599 the deal with the airline food? Said the Malaysian shark. What's the best 312 00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:57.680 part about being a circumcision doctor. The cheese, Oh, I don't know, 313 00:21:57.799 --> 00:22:03.000 I don't have The pay is good and you get to keep the tips. 314 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:08.799 I was gonna say leftovers. You know, every zodiac sign has their 315 00:22:08.839 --> 00:22:18.599 own hairstyle except for cancer. Mm hm oh boy. What do nine out 316 00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:26.720 of ten people enjoy killing the one gang rape? Eight? Her dad's having 317 00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:37.920 second thoughts. Seven her brother is outright disgusted. Wow, so we put 318 00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:47.680 six geese lay in? They just the comment thread. Why is God okay 319 00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:56.839 with abortions? Because if he wasn't, he'd be a fucking hypocrite. Why 320 00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:03.480 do people in Alabama love sandwiches Alabama Hotpocket because it's because it's her family reunion, 321 00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:08.759 because they like to keep things in bread. What's the difference between a 322 00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:12.920 terrorist training camp and an orphanage. I don't know. I just slide the 323 00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:18.359 drone. I gotta follow up on that one, because my's a terrorist joke 324 00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:25.960 kind of Whoever said white people can't jump hasn't seen nine eleven foot facts. 325 00:23:26.039 --> 00:23:29.920 I like it that that was an in house job. That wasn't terrorists. 326 00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:33.480 It well, it's domestic terrors, all right, fair enough? Still terrorism? 327 00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:42.240 True? What's the difference between oral and anal sex. One makes your 328 00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:52.000 day, the other makes your whole week. Go ahead down. A woman 329 00:23:52.039 --> 00:23:56.400 brings eight year old Johnny home and tells his mother what that he was caught 330 00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:00.240 playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight year old dog. Johnny's mother 331 00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:06.400 says, let's not be too harsh on them. They are bound to be 332 00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:10.799 curious about sex at that age. Curious about sex? Question, Mark replies 333 00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:23.480 Mary's mother. He's taking her fucking appendix out. Hey, don't I got 334 00:24:23.480 --> 00:24:30.160 one for you? How do you get a Jewish girl number? Uh? 335 00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:34.880 Usually give her tip? You just roll up her sleeve. I think I 336 00:24:34.880 --> 00:24:40.640 actually said that one, now that I heard the answer. What happens when 337 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:51.200 you cook with Irish butter? Great question? Your cholesterol be dublin? Oh? 338 00:24:51.240 --> 00:24:53.279 Man, fuck you read it? How does a black woman fight crime? 339 00:24:56.640 --> 00:25:03.400 She has an abortion? Wow? Wow? I take Oh that dark? 340 00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:08.359 That joke was so dark. He tried to rob me. The comment 341 00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:12.799 sections are almost worth of the actual shows, and it's ready, so they're 342 00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:18.880 unfiltered. Yeah, what would you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the 343 00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:30.759 rear end? Probably a fucking hernia, pretty sore ass. It was so 344 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:37.920 bad it went to the front straight through. My best friend was recently gunned 345 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:40.759 down in a dry by and died a virgin, but I made sure he 346 00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:45.680 wasn't buried one. I like it, Okay, I feel like, Okay, 347 00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:49.559 here we go. So it was. There was another joke about black 348 00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:52.400 people having nightmares, but I feel like I didn't want to beat that down 349 00:25:52.440 --> 00:25:56.680 too much, so I'm gonna skip that. Okay. What's the worst thing 350 00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:00.240 about being a black? Juke? Jesus Christ, you're gonna go next to 351 00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:18.880 the next one. I'm just sit at the back of the oven. JOm, 352 00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:22.519 you might be able to answer this one. Who does the Italian chef 353 00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:30.400 make a wish to ship? I don't know, Gie, Jesus, that 354 00:26:30.519 --> 00:26:37.519 was terrible. Gay guys and bungee jumpers have in common. Mm hmmm. 355 00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:42.319 If the rubber breaks, they're both in deep ship. This was a long 356 00:26:42.359 --> 00:26:47.680 one. That was my last one. A guy was walking to a bar 357 00:26:47.799 --> 00:26:51.279 and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. 358 00:26:51.319 --> 00:26:55.000 He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friend, 359 00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:59.039 friend asks why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found 360 00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:03.839 at all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and asks 361 00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:12.359 if he got head. Guy replies, I couldn't find it. Jesus. 362 00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:17.559 My wife complained that I never bought her flowers. To be honest, I 363 00:27:17.640 --> 00:27:23.480 never fucking knew she sold flowers. Jesus. Okay, I can't keep going. 364 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:27.519 Yeah, it's gonna get dark. Ironically, these are starting to get 365 00:27:27.559 --> 00:27:32.839 bad because I've now gotten to the point where I should probably read some of 366 00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:36.839 these. So you don't want you anymore? Yeah, when you decided to 367 00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:38.440 skip another black joke, and then you went to a black Jude joke, 368 00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:48.240 So try to cover your tracks with half your people. Okay, well the 369 00:27:48.279 --> 00:27:52.000 three of us together, So I guess we should just play game. Yeah, 370 00:27:52.079 --> 00:28:03.240 I think we should. All right, let's do it. Deal guy 371 00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:10.559 the Nome going against the Dome who came with this game? Nobody because Age 372 00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:15.440 is hosting, So we're doing dad feud everybody, Ladies and gentlemen. We 373 00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:18.640 don't even have to tell you to cue the music anymore. We just got 374 00:28:18.680 --> 00:28:21.319 it. We got it taken care of you. This is wonderful. It's 375 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:26.680 nice. Do you want to do it? Just to do it? So? 376 00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:29.759 I have something very special for you too. When I was in Walmart, 377 00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:33.000 I saw this and it was the family Feud board game, and I 378 00:28:33.039 --> 00:28:36.440 was like, oh, let's get some ship that was concocted by those fucks. 379 00:28:37.319 --> 00:28:40.880 No more fucking Pinterest. Let's go. You know what's amazing that our 380 00:28:40.920 --> 00:28:44.519 answers are probably gonna be right now. So speaking of I don't know about 381 00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:48.519 that. Speaking of that, we have to have a conversation because I brought 382 00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:52.880 that exact point up and AJ said, the majority of the time he would 383 00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:56.480 pull these lists from you know, like Pinterests or stuff like that. And 384 00:28:56.519 --> 00:29:00.000 he said sometimes he would replace things on there because he's like, no, 385 00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:03.039 nobody's gonna guess that, and then we would guess, and then that would 386 00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:10.880 be like, how is that not as no idea fucking Pinterest. But I'll 387 00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:14.480 say this, it was probably like maybe ten percent of answers. Like it 388 00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:19.559 wasn't a large margin. It was a margin, but it wasn't a large 389 00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:25.200 You have every chand episode if you ain't fairish your last it is what it 390 00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:27.000 is. That's true. All right, let's go. Let's go, baby, 391 00:29:27.039 --> 00:29:30.440 we got the first category. We have seven answers on the board. 392 00:29:30.559 --> 00:29:36.480 When you were a kid, name something used to practice kissing on Who's going 393 00:29:36.519 --> 00:29:41.480 first? That was just like you guys figured out are we going one, 394 00:29:41.559 --> 00:29:45.880 two, three? And then you go okay, you go first, what 395 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:55.599 was question? That's okay? When you were a kid, What did you 396 00:29:55.759 --> 00:30:02.920 used to practice kissing on my hand? That is the number six answer? 397 00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:12.839 A pillow? Oh ship, that's the number one. It was pillow or 398 00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:15.559 hand? And I went with him. I was gonna I was thinking you 399 00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:17.480 were gonna go pillow. So I'm like, well, hand, yeah, 400 00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:21.480 So how many of these are there? Seven on the board? Okay, 401 00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:26.759 I'm my sister, God damn it. Yeah, that's the number five sibling. 402 00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:34.880 That inbred joke is coming back. You does a cousin count is a 403 00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:45.160 sibling? That's my answer. I'm still traumatized. Damn a dog. If 404 00:30:45.160 --> 00:30:48.920 it's pet or animal, it counts. Okay, I'll just it to you. 405 00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:53.519 Stuffed animal. Yeah that works. Yeah, it's the number four answer. 406 00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:57.559 Mirror. Oh good call. Damn. You guys are getting these real 407 00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:03.400 good. Yeah, that's because they're the real can answer. That's the number 408 00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:10.559 three. Is there one more? Yeah? We need number seven and number 409 00:31:10.599 --> 00:31:15.160 two? Right, yep? Seven? Number two? Dude? How is 410 00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:18.839 mirror not number? How is mirror? Hand? And sister not? Like? 411 00:31:18.119 --> 00:31:21.720 So? Number two is open, and what else is open? Number 412 00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:37.480 seven, Blake, you're next door neighbor? Yeah? Does that count? 413 00:31:37.559 --> 00:31:45.920 Well? I mean I guess that's not girlfriend, boyfriend? No, okay, 414 00:31:45.039 --> 00:31:52.880 or friend? How about best friend? Holy ship? That was I'm 415 00:31:52.880 --> 00:32:00.240 tagging in B word? So God, why I feel like number two we 416 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:07.160 should know this. Yeah it feels obvious your mom, dude, we are 417 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:12.000 way too alike. No, that's three for you, three for you? 418 00:32:12.279 --> 00:32:15.480 Yeah, I think so it is? Okay, Yeah, so Josh got 419 00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:20.000 this round. So the number two answer was a doll, which is weird 420 00:32:20.039 --> 00:32:22.039 because number four was stuffed in right, Yeah, okay, I didn't I 421 00:32:22.039 --> 00:32:23.680 actually thought a doll, but I was like, well, we gave it 422 00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:28.400 to stuffed animals, so I kinda yeah. And number seven was a fruit 423 00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:35.279 slash orange. Oh yeah, I didn't practice kissing on those. Candleope warmed 424 00:32:35.319 --> 00:32:38.680 up. Candlope was my friend, Like, like, what was that movie 425 00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:42.359 I just had? I just had epiphany. How are we going to do 426 00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:52.160 the lighting? I guess the lock that we'll just meeting our mics. I'll 427 00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:55.400 just take that phones off. I can't hear you in the same room, 428 00:32:55.519 --> 00:33:00.599 all right. Category two we got seven answers on the board name something that 429 00:33:00.680 --> 00:33:04.440 happens to you when you can't stop laughing. It's like, as a result 430 00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:20.119 of you couldn't stop laughing, this happened. No, actually they had it 431 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:27.359 listed as blow air biscuits. Okay, all right, interesting like the dick 432 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:30.319 nuggets that I snounted out the other day. Yeah, somebody had their little 433 00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:35.240 fucking dick nuggets running around the street. That was the word you said. 434 00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:39.160 Okay, that is genius. That's what I said. That's exactly what I 435 00:33:39.240 --> 00:33:43.920 said. I'm like, we're gonna start using that crotch goblin. I'm changing 436 00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:47.519 that now. Okay, cry Yes, that's number one. That's what I 437 00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:54.400 was gonna say. You know you can do about it and crack like bitch. 438 00:33:54.720 --> 00:34:04.319 Uh. When you laugh too hard, something happens you stop breathing. 439 00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:14.800 Yeah. Number three can breeze puke o good one, kind of like when 440 00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.280 she goes down too far on someone else's cock. I was gonna say it 441 00:34:17.320 --> 00:34:23.639 surprising what Yeah, puke or throw up or gag, that's all the same 442 00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:32.400 thing. You give three answers. You're out up, damn it. Yes, 443 00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:37.400 that is number two. That my next one. Okay, we're hm 444 00:34:37.719 --> 00:34:40.760 because I can't say I can't say, well, there's cough on there, 445 00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:45.000 but you just didn't say it was puke, because that's kind of cheating, 446 00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:47.760 right, Actually, give it to you. That is number seven. It 447 00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:54.719 was a cough choke. It's number seven. I'm pretty sure I used the 448 00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:58.480 word choke. I don't know you said gag, throw up? Yeah, 449 00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:00.599 all right, maybe I didn't say choke. Can't even blame me this stuff. 450 00:35:01.400 --> 00:35:07.960 How many are left? Too? It's actually yeah, yeah, it's 451 00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:12.400 still open. He's got two, you got three. There's two left on 452 00:35:12.440 --> 00:35:15.920 the board. Number four, number five. Don't be looking at that phone. 453 00:35:15.159 --> 00:35:22.199 I'm trying. Don't be looking at that suddenly just started getting it. 454 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:25.280 Stop getting the answers because he couldn't look at this anymore. Okay, what 455 00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:31.159 happens to you? You pass out? Oh? Is it number four? 456 00:35:31.239 --> 00:35:38.119 Number five? Nope? Okay, So we have what are the ones that 457 00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:40.639 we have so far? We have all? So you got I cry, 458 00:35:40.760 --> 00:35:47.280 slash eyewater, I pee myself, I can't breathe fart, which is blow 459 00:35:47.320 --> 00:36:00.400 air biscuits, and then I cough slash joke. Oh Jesus, okay, 460 00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:08.519 can I see where it happened? Shout out to Minnesota. There we go. 461 00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:15.199 You're still trying to look over there. It's black. It's black, 462 00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:21.960 Okay, Can I see colored motherfucker children instead of children? All it says 463 00:36:21.960 --> 00:36:25.519 on here is answer one, two, four, five, six seven. 464 00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:28.400 Everything's on the car, all right, So you can look at this all 465 00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:30.360 you want. Yeah, see, all right, I'm gonna still look at 466 00:36:30.400 --> 00:36:31.719 it because that'shere. My eyes want to fixate because I'm a cheater, all 467 00:36:31.800 --> 00:36:44.400 right. Oh goodness, I don't know. Forget your fucking name, forget 468 00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:47.079 where you are, some ship like that, forget something. I think that's 469 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:50.519 three for me, that is three for you. Yeah, right, So 470 00:36:50.599 --> 00:36:53.679 Jordan got this one. Okay, So number four was belly ache or side 471 00:36:53.679 --> 00:36:57.880 aches, and then number five was hiccups. You know, I was gonna 472 00:36:57.880 --> 00:37:00.599 say hiccups earlier and I was like, that is no way that's gonna be 473 00:37:00.639 --> 00:37:01.840 on that list. Yeah, but I guess there's really not a whole lot 474 00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:05.719 of things that happened to you, right, Like, Yeah, I mean 475 00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:07.000 that was a tough one. I like that question. Yeah, that's a 476 00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:13.480 good one, all right. So the next one we only got five, 477 00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:20.320 and the next one, all right, because we're number three. Name a 478 00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:27.159 word rhyming with chimp that you hope doesn't describe you pamp, God, damn 479 00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:31.480 it, it's gotta be on there. Yeah, there's number four. Limp. 480 00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:37.880 Oh, that's a good one. Limp, motherfucker. Number three? 481 00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:45.480 How old is this? Answer? This year? Simp? God damn it? 482 00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:47.480 How do you do this? You know that's actually a good question. 483 00:37:47.519 --> 00:37:52.679 That's not the answer. That is a good question to ask, because all 484 00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:55.199 right, we got number three and four answers one, two and five is 485 00:37:55.239 --> 00:37:59.360 still on the board. Chimp was the original chimp? What rhymes with it? 486 00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:04.280 And you hope it isn't used to be described as you got one? 487 00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:19.480 Probably number one? Crimp limp, that is number two? Damn uh, 488 00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:27.239 that's all I got words rhyme, jim I, I really don't know. 489 00:38:27.559 --> 00:38:30.960 Uh. I'm really surprised neither of you have guessed number one because both of 490 00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:39.719 you, I'm pretty sure has called somebody this plenty of times. Cunt think 491 00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:44.239 my wrong answer. Now, I was about to say, I'm pretty sure 492 00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:50.840 I was gonna say rhymes right before you said that, I was gonna say, 493 00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:52.760 I'm pretty sure you call lies this on occasion. It's not every day, 494 00:38:55.880 --> 00:39:04.280 that's true. And no, I think I think we're all taking our 495 00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:09.199 el's here and Joshuin's the category. So number one is whimph you more? 496 00:39:09.400 --> 00:39:13.320 You called me that how many times when I was a kid? Fuck you 497 00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:15.840 off? Number five time? Number five is what I call you now, 498 00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:22.159 and that's shrimp. Oh, yes, yeah, we should have known both 499 00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:27.480 those. We see we our minds too fucked up because I've replaced wimp with 500 00:39:27.519 --> 00:39:31.800 pussy. Yes exactly, if I've replaced shrimp with fucking retard or midget, 501 00:39:35.679 --> 00:39:39.360 it makes sense. Okay, last one for the categories, all right, 502 00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:45.159 and then we go into the lightning round. Okay, we asked one hundred 503 00:39:45.159 --> 00:39:50.760 women using the barter system, what could we give you in exchange for your 504 00:39:50.880 --> 00:39:58.079 man? Jesus? Five answers on the board? Can we both agree? 505 00:39:58.239 --> 00:40:00.599 If anything is on the board, we can just get it off, like 506 00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:02.840 the word anything, We just get it off now. Well, I was 507 00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:07.400 gonna say it, buildo toy, okay, right in exchange for your man. 508 00:40:10.519 --> 00:40:15.880 No, that's stupid with my other gun names. Think go ahead, 509 00:40:15.239 --> 00:40:20.719 okay, I'm gonna say anything. No, all right, that was weird 510 00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:24.840 money yes, number one answer. I thought that would be one or two 511 00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:36.000 money? Anything? Yeah, car no, wow, say the question one 512 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:40.199 more time. Uh. We asked one hundred women using the barter system, 513 00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:45.599 what could we give you in exchange for your man? So? What would 514 00:40:45.599 --> 00:40:49.199 your wife give you up for a new man? Yeah? Yes, number 515 00:40:49.199 --> 00:41:00.639 three a better man slash zel zel house house, let's see. Nope, 516 00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:05.400 not on there? Three for you and banged him out real quick, didn't 517 00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:08.440 I just like that one, just like my axe. All right, you 518 00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:12.960 didn't do that quick? That's okighteen years so no, I got you. 519 00:41:13.119 --> 00:41:15.079 Yeah. We asked one hundred women using the butter system, what could we 520 00:41:15.079 --> 00:41:17.679 give you an exchange for your man? Number one was money? Number two 521 00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:23.559 was a maid. Number three was a better man slash Denzel. Number four 522 00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:28.639 was nothing. When you said anything, I was like, oh go opposite. 523 00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:32.719 Number four was nothing, and number five was a robot. A robot 524 00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:38.360 goes to show you what women think of us. A robot is a dildo, 525 00:41:39.559 --> 00:41:44.119 you know it was. It was hard not to like say, yes, 526 00:41:44.199 --> 00:41:45.480 that is my bot, lobject, But I was the old AJ would 527 00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:53.440 have given it to you. It's true, yeah, probably probably nice. 528 00:41:53.480 --> 00:41:58.679 All right. So we're three to one, two to two, two to 529 00:41:58.760 --> 00:42:01.800 two. He took the first and third. I took the second and fourth. 530 00:42:01.880 --> 00:42:05.480 Uh, huh, we're tired. Oh hold, I wrote the wrong 531 00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:07.079 one. Oh yeah, I did write the right one. I'm just dumb 532 00:42:07.159 --> 00:42:08.719 ass. Ok yeah, we're two and two. Let's go for lightning row 533 00:42:09.079 --> 00:42:14.920 because you're tired. Who was first? Actually here, pick a number between 534 00:42:14.920 --> 00:42:23.400 one and fuck you Anal? You garry the one nine. The number was 535 00:42:23.440 --> 00:42:29.000 sixty nine. It's you're close, so I get I'm going first. I 536 00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.079 thought that's what it was. I thought sixty nine was antal whatever. Hate 537 00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:36.519 real talk, real quick, white tongue while you're out there, because like 538 00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:38.719 real talk and we can be like guys about this. I'm fucking stinking. 539 00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:44.360 Do you have dealer and I can borrow I'm sticking bad and a paper towel. 540 00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:54.320 Please to wipe my sweat because I'm sweating in here, Ladies and gentlemen. 541 00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:59.599 Dad's on decold Nation. Come into you live from stink Fest. It's 542 00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:01.760 a stunt. And he doesn't smell like skunk. He just smells like ass 543 00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:08.960 tank dank. Thank he's there. Oh yeah, hold on one second. 544 00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:13.639 We gotta do this first though. Lightning round. Okay, so lightning round, 545 00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:17.480 lightning rounds, So Jordan, you know how this works? Declod nation 546 00:43:17.519 --> 00:43:21.800 If you don't know how this works. I'm gonna ask him five questions really 547 00:43:21.880 --> 00:43:24.119 quickly, and he's gonna name off the first answer that comes to his mind. 548 00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:30.559 Jordan, are you ready? Dufe man? Yes? Did you like 549 00:43:30.599 --> 00:43:34.280 that? I did? Just cute? Yeah, nobody else knows that, 550 00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:43.480 but that's cute. Hello, Okay, I'm going to switch hands so this 551 00:43:43.519 --> 00:43:50.000 would be faster. That's what she said. Number one, women, women 552 00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:54.840 take forever to get dressed? What do men take forever to do? A 553 00:43:54.920 --> 00:44:07.280 ship? Take a ship? Sorry? Number two, I started talking to 554 00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:10.400 the fucking mike with the goddamn card because I'm an idiot. Number two, 555 00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:17.199 name something that has an eye but cannot see an eyes in quotation as e 556 00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:32.119 y e so an eyeball ray Charles, No, no, I got three 557 00:44:32.239 --> 00:44:42.639 left, Just go away. I'll get you a handful of Oh, thank 558 00:44:42.679 --> 00:44:47.440 you. Yay. I'm gonna smell delicious, smell like sunscreen. Ass right 559 00:44:47.480 --> 00:44:57.000 now? Right? What this thing is? I should automatically win the lightning 560 00:44:57.039 --> 00:44:59.360 rap for having to witness this, I know, and you know what, 561 00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:01.840 I should have win the lightning round because I just like to as fuck is 562 00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:07.119 so you can heard from that right there? Huh so much better. I 563 00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:09.960 hope that's one of these about to throw out. Otherwise we just became a 564 00:45:09.960 --> 00:45:14.599 part of each other in mursymbia. Now at least he is on his side. 565 00:45:15.119 --> 00:45:17.360 Okay, so you said, Ray Charles, he said, has an 566 00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:22.039 I E y E. He can't see right, Yeah, Ray Charles, 567 00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:28.000 that's a good answer. Number three. Name a present that cats bring to 568 00:45:28.039 --> 00:45:40.519 their owners bird. Number four. Name something specific in an aquarium that the 569 00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:52.159 fish might be too stupid to realize is fake the glass. These are hard. 570 00:45:52.519 --> 00:45:59.400 I feel like your normal lightning round are way easier. Oh my god, 571 00:46:00.039 --> 00:46:07.440 fucked. Number five. What do you do when your dog poops and 572 00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:21.679 you've run out of bags? You leave it there? All right? Fuck 573 00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:36.639 stick, We're ready there he is over there. The next door neighbor kid's 574 00:46:36.639 --> 00:46:38.039 over there and she just looks at me like all cross and Kelly's like her 575 00:46:38.119 --> 00:46:43.800 names dack. My kids are getting a lot more free. That's good, 576 00:46:44.280 --> 00:46:52.239 all right, so good luck. Number one. Women take forever to get 577 00:46:52.320 --> 00:47:04.920 dressed? What do men take forever to do a mature? It's good? 578 00:47:05.440 --> 00:47:10.800 Number one? Yeah, all right. Number two names something that has an 579 00:47:10.840 --> 00:47:22.559 eye but cannot see an eye in quotations as E y e. Sorry, 580 00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:29.039 my brain went so bad with that. Named something that has an eye but 581 00:47:29.239 --> 00:47:37.400 cannot see blind person. I gave it a name, but it counts. 582 00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:51.360 It's the same thing, Ray, Charles, it's exactly who fu fuck h 583 00:47:51.960 --> 00:48:00.559 newspaper. Mm hmm. It's probably gonna be the right answer. Now we 584 00:48:00.599 --> 00:48:04.320 both funked up on that one. Number three. Name a present that a 585 00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:13.639 cat brings to its owner dead animal. At the end, I have to 586 00:48:13.639 --> 00:48:17.280 be more specific. He already gets I gave an animal, so I guess 587 00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:21.599 you giving an animal would be the same thing, right that, So I 588 00:48:21.639 --> 00:48:23.360 have to give it. I either have to be a specific animal. No, 589 00:48:23.679 --> 00:48:35.000 I guess something other dead animal other than a toy, a cat toy. 590 00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:44.199 My brain was like, say mouse. I said bird mouse, But 591 00:48:44.320 --> 00:48:47.599 just for the record, mouse would have been my answer, all right. 592 00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:53.960 Name something specific in an aquarium that the fish might be too stupid to realize 593 00:48:54.079 --> 00:49:02.079 is fake. My ex No, let's write it down, write it down. 594 00:49:04.119 --> 00:49:15.239 Take a plant? Yeah, another fish? Another so Gary, that's 595 00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:19.400 Gary. It would have been great in finding Nemo if when they were in 596 00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:22.840 the tank in the in the dentist's office there was a fake fish and then 597 00:49:22.840 --> 00:49:29.599 they all just said hi, to him constantly. You were watching the end 598 00:49:29.679 --> 00:49:35.800 this is the end less night, say, jadare okay, what do you 599 00:49:35.920 --> 00:49:44.159 do when your dog popes and you've run out of bags? M used paper 600 00:49:44.199 --> 00:49:57.079 towels or leave it? All? Right? So five? Yeah sounds about 601 00:49:57.159 --> 00:49:59.519 right. Okay, so that's all five, Jordan, if you please would 602 00:49:59.599 --> 00:50:08.039 q the elevator music, it's only going for thirty seconds a day. I 603 00:50:08.119 --> 00:50:15.440 got twenty seconds. Just let me know where to stop if you're ready. 604 00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:32.559 Okay, I honestly should have you guys redo the second one, because yeah, 605 00:50:32.559 --> 00:50:36.559 that's stupid. Both of you didn't get shipped for the second one. 606 00:50:36.639 --> 00:50:39.639 That's fine, that's okay, I mean unless it forces us into a tie. 607 00:50:40.639 --> 00:50:49.920 Yeah, then just give us the answer and I'll go first. You 608 00:50:49.960 --> 00:50:53.000 still say you're original answer. I don't even remember what it was, God 609 00:50:53.079 --> 00:50:55.159 damn it. Yeah, you guys got answer because you guys are tie. 610 00:50:57.480 --> 00:51:00.000 What was the second question? Was the second question? Okay? Name something 611 00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:06.239 think that has an eye but cannot see? Okay, you got it? 612 00:51:08.119 --> 00:51:20.559 Some Josh a needle? Oh come on, all right, drum roll please, 613 00:51:20.920 --> 00:51:37.079 I don't have a drum roll, Josh, and the winner is Josh. 614 00:51:37.159 --> 00:51:39.199 Can we go through those answers so you can hear them all right, 615 00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:43.360 yes, okay. So women take forever to get dressed. What do men 616 00:51:43.400 --> 00:51:46.039 take forever to do? Number one answer is chores, then poop, propose, 617 00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:51.519 shave, make decisions, ask, ask for directions, and then shower. 618 00:51:53.159 --> 00:51:55.719 Number two. Name something that has an eye but cannot see. Number 619 00:51:55.760 --> 00:52:00.679 one was needle. Number two is storm slash hurricane. Number three with potato. 620 00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:05.800 Number four was bat. Number five was target slash bowls of Number six 621 00:52:05.960 --> 00:52:08.400 was a statue. I still think Rachel should be the top of that. 622 00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:19.199 He should have been. Number one was at number one answer, Yeah, 623 00:52:19.280 --> 00:52:22.480 my mind went so dark. Reddit screwed me up because my mind went so 624 00:52:22.599 --> 00:52:27.280 dark on that one and the number three. Name a present that cats bring 625 00:52:27.320 --> 00:52:30.880 to their owners. Number one answer was a mouse slash animal. Number two 626 00:52:30.920 --> 00:52:35.960 is toys slash ball three was hairball slash puke. Number four was a lick 627 00:52:36.119 --> 00:52:43.559 slash eleven cute beautiful. Number four name something specific in an aquarium that the 628 00:52:43.639 --> 00:52:49.039 fish might find too stupid, realize it's fake. Number one was plants, 629 00:52:49.639 --> 00:52:52.079 two was coral. Number three was castle. Number four was rocks. Number 630 00:52:52.079 --> 00:52:55.199 five was scuba diver. Number six was a treasure chest. What did you 631 00:52:55.239 --> 00:53:05.679 say glass? Have you ever see like a fish like hit it? That'll 632 00:53:05.679 --> 00:53:07.400 happen the first time you get They need to redo their fucking list. I 633 00:53:07.400 --> 00:53:10.360 mean, the glasses isn't fake, but the fish that it's fake. To 634 00:53:10.400 --> 00:53:14.840 the fish, more water exactly, that's my point exactly. I thought it 635 00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:15.639 was a great answer. I think it's a great answer. You know, 636 00:53:16.199 --> 00:53:21.039 I could have edited in there for you. But what do you do when 637 00:53:21.079 --> 00:53:24.559 your dog poops and you've run out of bags? Number one answer was leave 638 00:53:24.599 --> 00:53:29.519 it slash ruck. Yeah you know I knew in my brain, I knew 639 00:53:29.559 --> 00:53:30.679 you said leave it, So I was like, one want to get the 640 00:53:30.800 --> 00:53:34.199 X, So I just put the paper towels, just get a shot. 641 00:53:34.760 --> 00:53:37.079 Number two was using pip towel slash nap. Number three was go get a 642 00:53:37.119 --> 00:53:45.039 bag. Number four was fag. That would never be my answer million years, 643 00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:49.519 that would be my answer, go get it at Number four was picking 644 00:53:49.599 --> 00:53:52.480 up at a leaf A leaf? A leaf? Fuck that? Have you 645 00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:57.119 ever tried to pick up a dog shit with a leaf? First off, 646 00:53:57.159 --> 00:54:00.960 what size leaves do you have in your fucking country? Oh? I got 647 00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:07.960 ship on my hand head poison at me? Fuck? Raise your handle a 648 00:54:07.039 --> 00:54:12.199 ship? You wipe it off on your leg? Did you ship yourself or 649 00:54:12.239 --> 00:54:15.679 you gonna rash snl skit right there? All right, well, I guess 650 00:54:15.719 --> 00:54:28.039 Josh win so fucking sucks exactly one episode. You're already pissed. I scorg 651 00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:31.559 anyway because I have no wife. Oh she was good. That was good. 652 00:54:31.599 --> 00:54:34.840 I liked it. It was fun. We haven't heard sprinkles different winners 653 00:54:34.840 --> 00:54:37.840 in a while. No, we haven't. That was good. It's been 654 00:54:37.880 --> 00:54:40.199 a while while. It's been a while while. All right, well, 655 00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:45.719 uh aj you want to do some outro pux fuck? Yeah, go over 656 00:54:45.760 --> 00:54:49.639 to link tree, slash Dad's on day quel. First thing on there. 657 00:54:50.360 --> 00:54:53.239 Patreon. You're gonna go to Patreon. You're gonna sub to three five twenty 658 00:54:53.320 --> 00:54:58.079 dollars tiers get that extra dose content. You know why, because you fox 659 00:54:58.119 --> 00:55:00.280 sticks out there who love us so much are going to need it for your 660 00:55:00.320 --> 00:55:05.000 everyday life. And let me tell you, it's beautiful. It's a wonderful 661 00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:07.800 thing. You love it, you know you do. You're also going to 662 00:55:07.840 --> 00:55:12.239 go straight to purchase some merchantee public and get dripped in all the latest swag 663 00:55:12.239 --> 00:55:16.880 gets on there also Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, all 664 00:55:16.920 --> 00:55:20.800 that good jazz is on there, and as always, leave a review. 665 00:55:21.239 --> 00:55:22.800 Send in your Dad's story if you have one, or if you just a 666 00:55:22.840 --> 00:55:25.639 piece of shit, send that in too, and we'll keep you anonymous. 667 00:55:28.079 --> 00:55:30.320 I like it solid, all right, Well, folks, welcome back to 668 00:55:30.440 --> 00:55:36.480 the original lineup of Dad's on Daquos. This is episode Catch you next week, 669 00:55:36.519 --> 00:55:45.519 Piece out later, that's out. Hey, guys, what how do 670 00:55:45.559 --> 00:55:49.320 you start an Ethiopian rave? Oh boy, tie a piece of bread to 671 00:55:49.360 --> 00:56:09.239 a ceiling fan. I was totally go to. Guess ways, Dr Bat 672 00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:22.679 expended her to expanded