Yo, I just has a comeback on here and for real, because I
literally just got down on my knees. I literally just got down on my
knees and cry and thank the Universe, thank the Lord, thank source for
my blessings. Bro. I still have tears coming down my face right now.
I am so fucking grateful. Bro, I am so fucking grateful.
I am so fucking grateful. I'm so grateful. I cannot express the way
that I feel when I say, Bro, I don't know how many times
I've said on this podcast, like I had to get it out the mud,
nigga, I had to get this shit out the fucking mud. I
have worked my ass off. I don't give a fuck about what nobody says
about me, Like I used to let that shit affect me. But I
know who I am. I know who I am, I know how hard
I work. I know how great of a fucking mother I am. I
am so fucking grateful for all of the trials, all of the tribulations,
the fucking struggle. That shit makes you who the fuck you are. I
know y'all so tired of me talking about Panda, but for real, like
that's really I'm not gonna lie, that's like my best friend for real,
and that situation is so crazy to me. And I talked about this before,
Like me and her got cool, like really on some fluke shit.
We met because us and it was so crazy because our ex boyfriends are best
friends. But by the time that her and her ex got together, me
and my ex was already like the damn near broke up. But whatever,
we ended up crossing paths and we hung out on some fluke shit. When
she lived in Michigan. We was at fucking bar seven or whatever, and
like I ended up following her on Instagram. And it wasn't even until I
had went and visited Calli for the first time for real, Like I had
hit her up and was like, hey, do you know where I should
stay, like because I wanted to stay in Long Beach and blah blah blah
whatever, and we had hung out that time or whatever. And then when
by the time that I had moved to Calli, we had got a lot
closer or whatever, and like now I talked to her like every single day
and we lived on opposite sides of the fucking world. It's a three hour
time difference. I don't really like to call her because of the time difference.
You know what I'm saying, I can't be calling me it's gonna be
fucking six am if it's nine a m. Here. So she usually calls
me. But I literally talked to her every day. I really appreciate her
friendship because, like I said, she's ordered to me. She's ye're ordered
to me. But it's just so many times and so many conversations that we've
had and she's always like Jazzmine, I've been where you being before, and
like she is just like Panda is so um. She's so versatile, she's
so like well rounded, Like she's a person like that could go anywhere in
the world. She can go to the hood, she can go to the
classiest of the bougiest event, you know what I'm saying, and just be
able to adapt to her environment. But she just really has a beautiful spirit,
a beautiful soul. Like she's a great advice giver. I'm not sure
why she doesn't have a podcast. She like a factional speaker. But even
like today we had a conversation that she was just telling me because I was
talking about my whole money situation or whatever, and she was like Jasmine,
Like I worked somewhere for a year and a half, like doing an internship.
It never got paid for it, and I'm like, what the fuck.
But again, it's just a testament to where she is now, to
her craft, to her skill all of that, and you know whatever.
But anyway, the blessings came through niggas that fucking quick. And it's so
funny because I was literally in my mind having a conversation. I was preppering
myself for the conversation that I was gonna have with somebody about some shit that
I was gonna try to do, and I'm like, I gotta figure this
out. And then all of a sudden, the fucking nigga melodies from heaving
them bitches rained down, like everything literally came down, And so, like
I said, I was all my knees crying saying thank you, like I'm
just, oh my god, bro, Like y'all don't understand, bro,
or maybe you do, and I hope that you do understand in your own
way, in your own right, like because I don't know what a person's
personal struggle is and shit like that, but I'm trying to tell y'all,
like I really just want to be able to live an authentic life and be
able to connect with people. One thing that I'm really trying to just be
aware of is my ego. Like everybody has an ego, and you got
to keep that shit in check. And I think that the best way for
me to be able to like really disconnect from my ego is just to consciously
just live my authentic life and be my true self, you know what I'm
saying, being able to be vulnerable and transparent and to not get a big
kid about shit, but to also be confident because I know, you know
what I'm saying, You gotta know who the fuck you are. But don't
let that shit turn into the ego. But um no, like really man,
like I don't. I just I don't know what to say. I
don't know what to say, and I keep tearing up because I'm just so
fucking great, Like it's tears of joy, bro, it's tears a fucking
joy. I'm just so fucking grateful because and when I say, get it
out the mud, nigga, I'm so glad that y'all know, like I'm
never in my life like fuck with us. Well, I don't want to
say I never funck with a scammera or nothing like that. But like I
never seriously dated like no scammer, no hood niggas for real or nothing like
that. And you know, there have been times in my mind where I'd
be like, dang, I wish I just fucked with a scammer so that
nigga could just pay off my training or you know what I'm saying, or
just help me out with life and what the fuck I gotta do. But
no, nigga, I'm so glad that I did this shit, buy myself
for myself on my own and got it out the fucking mud because nobody can't
ever take this ship from me. Nobody could never hold no shit over my
head. Like if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't had like I did
this shit on my own, nigga. I'm talking about back to the struggle
when I very first lost that job where, um, where was all working
at? Then when I lost Nigga, I haven't lost so many fucking jobs,
um in twenty eighteen, Damn, where the fuck was I working at
Orleans? Was that Orleans? No, it couldn't have been m No when
I was working at the time I was working at Best Homes title like two
thousand, two thou seventeen. That's when I had lost my job and at
that time, I had just moved in with my best friend, Chelsea at
the time, me and my son, we had moved in with my best
friend, and you know, we was gonna go half on the ram Blais
Bligh and then I lost my job and she's still in me stay there,
you know what I'm saying, and we thugged it out or whatever, and
that's when I started the podcast, and you know what I'm saying, So
like even then, you know what I'm saying. But just period, I
just always have been in a situation where I've never really been completely financially stable,
and so just go all these years, just going through these ups and
downs, going through this roller coaster ride of trying to figure out where to
go, trying to figure out what my purpose was in life, and all
of that, like all of that ship brought me to this very fucking moment
where I was just all my fucking knees crying saying thank you. And I
just made a post on Instagram that was saying what did it say? Like
it said that you see it said I I'm excited to finally start living the
life that I always wish for. Like that's bro Like, I don't know,
man, it's so much, but I just wanted to come back on
here and say that, like, I'm just so fucking grateful. The party
is on. My birthday party is on. I was scared that I wasn't
gonna be able to go through with it because I thought I just wasn't gonna
have everything together. But I got everything together. So the party is fucking
on. And then like I was going back before I got on here another
what I was just working on before I had broke down crying. I just
looked at my um. I got this little planner that I write my affirmations
in every day, and my stomach hurt too right now too, But I
nigga, I missed a whole week of affirmations. I'm like, so I'm
over here filling out my ship with my affirmations. But what else was I
about to say? Oh? Before that, I was like, oh,
I was looking at the videos, so you know, I recorded a YouTube
video. I was only able to capture the like the first half of my
class today, and I told yall one of the things was like I move
really fast through the practice or whatever. It's that anxiety shit. So watching
the video back, like I already know that i'd be going fast, and
it's like, I know I got to slow down. But when I watched
the video, it was like, okay, you be going super fast.
So but it just it hit different watching the video. So now I feel
like I kind of understand the pace that I have to go at. So
I'm like, fuck it, let me run through a hole mat And you
know, I didn't really fall out do the whole yoga thing during class today,
so I'm like, I didn't even do no yoga today for real,
So let me do it right now at home and try to do it at
the pace or whatever. And so I went through the whole hour by myself,
and I feel like I did a really good job. And I'm ready
for a fucking Friday. I'm gonna be ready for the party. So like,
I'm just really excited, but I'm also just very grateful. So I
had to come on here and share that it's fucking two fifty eight in the
morning and the grind don't stop, nigga, okay, but that is um,
that's it. So you know I'll be back sometimes soon, but that's
all that I had to share. I'm out.