WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:11.759 This is Pod Populi Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's 2 00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:18.160 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate. 3 00:00:19.239 --> 00:00:23.879 Hi again, Everyone's Brian Howie. Welcome to The Great Love Debate, 4 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:28.600 the world's number one dating and relationship podcast since two thousand and fifteen. I 5 00:00:28.640 --> 00:00:32.960 am here all by myself in the fine studios of pod Populi Podcast for the 6 00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:35.840 People. I'm at the one in Boca Riton, Florida. Nobody's here. 7 00:00:35.960 --> 00:00:38.920 I got to run the controls, so if you have any issues with the 8 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:45.520 sound, take it up with them anyway. As you guys know, um, 9 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:48.600 we like to say we don't give you advice around here, and you 10 00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:52.359 could argue, probably correctly, that we give you a little bit of informed 11 00:00:52.359 --> 00:01:00.960 guidance. But mostly what we give you is opinion and sometimes usually hopefully you 12 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:03.519 agree with that opinion, but sometimes you don't. And this show is called 13 00:01:03.519 --> 00:01:07.159 the Great Love Debate, and that is why it is called a debate. 14 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:08.719 So you don't have to agree with each other, and you definitely don't have 15 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:14.120 to agree with me. But today I'm going to get into something that I 16 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:19.159 am absolutely positive I am right about, and something that many of you, 17 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:23.400 possibly even most of you, will think I'm absolutely wrong about So do with 18 00:01:23.400 --> 00:01:29.959 this information whatever you like. Enjoy it, discard it, think about it, 19 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:36.000 object to it, have at it. Okay, So it's gonna be 20 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.680 a weird little prelude here, but bear with me. So my father died 21 00:01:38.719 --> 00:01:44.400 a couple of weeks before I record this, and I say father instead of 22 00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:48.480 Dad because Dad seems way too close and casual. And we had a relationship 23 00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:53.560 that was at best complicated and at worst nonexistent, which were the better part 24 00:01:53.599 --> 00:01:56.480 of the last I don't know decade or so, that's what it was. 25 00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:00.159 Non existent, But I don't want to bring that up to talk about him 26 00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:05.439 or us. I bring that up because a whole lot of the complicated Howie 27 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:12.400 family tree and history is rooted in religion and how that played into relationships and 28 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:16.159 family ties and history and identity, and it really shouldn't. But I'm getting 29 00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:19.439 into this today, and bear with me. This isn't going to be all 30 00:02:19.479 --> 00:02:21.840 about me and my family and blah blah blah, but it's going to make 31 00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:25.639 a point about all of us and what we are looking for and why and 32 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:31.280 what tends to get in the way way too often and anything that touches on 33 00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:35.000 this topic, and every time I bring it up, it's always the third 34 00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:38.439 rail around here. But I do want to take a deep dive into it 35 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:40.879 because it comes up all the time. It came up at our live show 36 00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:44.319 that we did last week, it comes up at most shows. It comes 37 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:49.439 up in emails, in general conversations that I have. It is hangs over 38 00:02:50.199 --> 00:02:57.280 way too much of love dating relationships, So dating people of similar face or 39 00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:04.599 religions, and wanting to find someone quote unquote raised with the same values, 40 00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:07.080 brought up with the same beliefs. Blah blah blah. That's a thing that 41 00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:09.719 I hear all the time. So let me get into why it mattered for 42 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:15.240 me and shape my family and how I think it can relate and hopefully influence 43 00:03:15.319 --> 00:03:25.039 you. So before I begin little caveat to all this, I am hugely 44 00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:30.360 envious. Big part of me is a little jealous of those that are devout 45 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:36.039 in their convictions and their faith, whichever branch or sect or denomination that is, 46 00:03:36.719 --> 00:03:39.080 living your life by a strict set of beliefs that are unwavering for you. 47 00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:43.319 I do see value in that, and I do see the comfort in 48 00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:46.319 that and having that to fall back on. I think it really helps in 49 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:52.159 times of trouble or tragedy. And I don't want to question anybody who does 50 00:03:52.199 --> 00:03:59.000 that or who wants that as a foundation for grounding themselves and basically do whatever 51 00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:01.360 you need to do to get through the or through this lifetime. All good, 52 00:04:01.639 --> 00:04:05.759 okay, not criticizing that. My issue is when you try to match 53 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:11.560 that system your personal system, and that's what I look at it as, 54 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:15.399 or impart that on another, or use that as a driving force for your 55 00:04:15.399 --> 00:04:23.519 partnership choices or the way you actually partner verb present tense. So let's go 56 00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:30.720 back to the aforementioned Howie family as a point of context. So Bob Geldoff, 57 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:33.000 who most of you know as the creator of Live Aid back in the 58 00:04:33.079 --> 00:04:36.800 day, maybe some of you don't. He's a driving force between band aid. 59 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:42.879 Do they know it's Christmas tonight? Thank God it's them instead of you. 60 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.839 What a weird odd line to invoke way to invoke God? You know, 61 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:50.560 that's a different matter, but that's not a good thing anyway. Before 62 00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:57.000 all that, Bob Geldoff was known as the lead singer of the Boomtown Rats. 63 00:04:58.439 --> 00:05:00.519 Tell me why I don't like Mondays? Their big song and he was 64 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:04.439 once asked about his religion, and he answered, I am a quarter Catholic, 65 00:05:04.839 --> 00:05:10.519 a quarter Protestant, a quarter Jewish, and a quarter nothing and the 66 00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:16.839 nothing one, and that is essentially me. Although Geldoff I think proclaimed himself 67 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:20.399 to be an atheist, which I would never be so bold to have the 68 00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:24.600 balls to do. I think that almost takes more conviction than anything else. 69 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:28.360 No, I am an agnostic, which I think if we want to be 70 00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:30.639 honest, we all are, or should be, because we really don't know. 71 00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:35.199 My basic feeling is that whatever your religion is, you hope and maybe 72 00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:42.439 pray that it's mostly right, and you lead your life according to those nebulous 73 00:05:42.519 --> 00:05:46.519 principles. But you really don't know who am I or any of you to 74 00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:50.199 say that my religion is right and the other three thousand or so recognize religions 75 00:05:50.199 --> 00:05:57.040 are wrong. That seems incredibly self centered, bordering on delusional, and so 76 00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:01.560 many of you think that, and how that leads itself into dating and partnership 77 00:06:02.519 --> 00:06:05.680 and all of it. But I'll get back to that in a moment. 78 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:12.319 So I was raised Catholic, went to church, I was an altar boy. 79 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:18.199 I went to Catholic elementary school. I moved to Paris for a couple 80 00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:20.480 of years. I even went to a Catholic school over there. I went 81 00:06:20.519 --> 00:06:30.319 to a Catholic college because Catholic was the way my aforementioned now late father was, 82 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:34.120 and the father generally sets religious rules in a house because I don't know, 83 00:06:34.199 --> 00:06:38.680 Hey, that's life, and because most people only know one way to 84 00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:42.000 live, the way they were raised, they typically go along with that. 85 00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:46.720 So that's the quarter Catholic part of me. My mother, on the other 86 00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:51.360 hand, she was raised Episcopalian, a Protestant, and rather than protest like 87 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:57.759 a good Protestant, upon becoming engaged to my father, she had to convert 88 00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:01.279 to Catholicism. She's married, big church, had the high, old fashioned 89 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:08.000 Latin Mass, the whole deal. So she chose my father's religion over her 90 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:11.800 parents' religion, the one she was raised on. And you could say Episcopalian, 91 00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:15.720 a sort of Catholic light and the same thing. But for whatever reason, 92 00:07:15.800 --> 00:07:18.439 it meant a whole lot to my father that she was exactly the same 93 00:07:18.519 --> 00:07:23.240 as him. So that's the quarter of Protestant in me. But that's where 94 00:07:23.279 --> 00:07:27.879 it gets slippery. So my mother was not only pressured and forced by my 95 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:33.959 father to convert and grow through that whole bizarre pre marriage Catholic testing and qualifying 96 00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:38.959 that they do. She was also pressured by my paternal grandmother, who insisted 97 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:43.360 that she convert because she did not want her son to marry a non Catholic. 98 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:48.920 Well why would she care? I always wonder what's the difference Catholic Episcopal. 99 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:55.360 They're mostly similarly aligned in terms of traditions and rituals and holidays and all 100 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:58.480 the rest. So who cared so much that she was exactly the same, 101 00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:05.560 Especially from my grandmother, my father's mother, who spent almost her entire adult 102 00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:13.439 life living in either Jackson, Mississippi, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, or Hot 103 00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:20.560 Springs Village, Arkansas, which are not exactly Catholic Hot Spit HotBits. And 104 00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:26.079 beyond that, she spent an awful lot of time talking about and I quote 105 00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:31.000 the Jews. Now, I would spend a whole lot of time in Jackson, 106 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:35.360 Mississippi or anywhere in Arkansas, though the always Arcs are supposedly very lovely. 107 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:39.919 So why would my grandmother for her entire life be so focused on Jewish 108 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.840 people when you would have a really hard time encountering one there. Well, 109 00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:48.559 fast forward a bit so my cousin also found that a little bit odd. 110 00:08:48.600 --> 00:08:52.600 He did some snooping around, and it turns out that my Catholic insisting grandmother 111 00:08:52.279 --> 00:08:58.360 was in fact one of the Linsers from Long Island, which is a fine 112 00:08:58.519 --> 00:09:05.039 Jewish family. She was raised Jewish, is was Jewish. There's my quarter 113 00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:09.080 Jewish, yet was so insistent upon my mother converting to Catholicism, which she 114 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:16.360 apparently did after apparently being knocked up by my Lebanese probably Muslim grandfather, being 115 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:20.600 kicked out of her family and ran away, leading to a lifetime of very 116 00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:26.279 verbal resentment against Jewish people, without explaining and confessing as to why. So. 117 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:30.159 She came from a family who used religion against her, taught my father 118 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:33.360 the same who imparted that on my mother and everyone, it turns out, 119 00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:37.919 was living some sort of parochial, dishonest existence to please one or more people 120 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:43.159 besides themselves. Hence the quarter nothing, which I have gladly embraced. So 121 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:48.320 had of all this sortid history of my family and religion and dishonesty relate to 122 00:09:48.360 --> 00:09:52.759 you and someone just looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Ah, fine, 123 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:56.039 he's getting around to it, I shall explain, and we will get 124 00:09:56.080 --> 00:10:07.360 into it right after this. So why do I bring up all that the 125 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:13.360 weird subjects he's diving into. It's because using religion as a fundamental starting point 126 00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:16.919 or requirement for what you are looking for is rooted in all sorts of misguided 127 00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:22.559 notions and maybe doesn't have to be as dishonest and hidden as the how We 128 00:10:22.679 --> 00:10:26.279 Clan, but it means you want somebody to be and believe exactly the same 129 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:31.559 as you, which is an absolutely impossible undertaking when you consider that one's spiritual 130 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:37.960 and faith journey is an ongoing, evolving, circuitous thing. And on the 131 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:41.919 Great Love Debate Tour, we do stops in places like Atlanta and Dallas and 132 00:10:43.039 --> 00:10:48.519 Nashville and all over the Bible Belt, and many of the Christians are saying 133 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:54.360 they need somebody quote unquote equally yoked in their walk with the Lord. And 134 00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:58.720 I'm always saying, what does that even mean? You mean today you're exactly 135 00:10:58.759 --> 00:11:03.559 the same tomorrow, always forever that they believe they're going to be in the 136 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:07.039 exact same place as you, when you don't even know what place you're in 137 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:11.399 tomorrow. What if you lose faith? What if they do. What if 138 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:16.440 life brings change or revelation, then the deal's off. Can't love them anymore? 139 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:20.120 That makes no sense to me. And what if you're a little more 140 00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:26.279 again quote unquote on fire? And I can't tell you how many people try 141 00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:31.399 to use their faith or hide behind it to shade all kinds of issues and 142 00:11:31.480 --> 00:11:33.360 demons. Oh they're a believers, so they must be good. Now, 143 00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:37.759 I wouldn't bet on that. I must equally match my faith with somebody else's 144 00:11:39.159 --> 00:11:43.879 talk about trying to hit two bulls eyes. Or they go to church every 145 00:11:43.919 --> 00:11:46.679 Sunday, so there must be rooted in a proper way of life. I'm 146 00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:50.399 like, wait, what, I went to church every Sunday, and trust 147 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:54.679 me, we were there for absolutely the wrong reasons. I think my mother 148 00:11:54.679 --> 00:11:56.840 went a lot because you wanted to show off her for coat in June. 149 00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:03.320 So trying to gauge somebody's journey and walk and path and trying to assess how 150 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:09.240 that fits into their character and morals and honesty, I mean caveat emptor to 151 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:16.360 use some old school Latin faith and beliefs and spirituality in your relationship with God 152 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:22.399 capital G or lowercase G or however you want is deeply, deeply personal and 153 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:30.200 really nobody's business, and certainly not something that indicates is this someone I can 154 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:33.559 love and who will love me back. It honestly has no more bearing on 155 00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:37.320 the outcome of two people than if one eats green beans and one like spinach. 156 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:41.679 And people freak out when I say that, but sorry, it's true. 157 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:46.639 People use and hide behind religion for all kinds of reasons. The louder 158 00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:50.960 you scream about it, post it on social media, use it on dating 159 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:54.639 sites, say it's the most important thing to you, the less I trust 160 00:12:54.720 --> 00:13:01.840 it. Honestly, keep it to yourself. Be proud, but don't be 161 00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:07.320 postalytizing when it comes to matters of love. And it's not just the Christians, 162 00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:11.279 trust me. I hear from all face, I must have someone with 163 00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:13.519 the same value system, And I'm like, what does that even mean? 164 00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:20.000 Ninety nine percent of all people I think have exactly the same values. You 165 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.399 know it's good, you know it's bad, you know it's right, you 166 00:13:22.440 --> 00:13:26.440 know it's wrong. And nine percent of those values have almost nothing to do 167 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:30.960 with how they spend their Friday nights or Saturdays or Sundays or whatever your day 168 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:33.240 of worship is, or don't go to Chick fil a. You know, 169 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:39.039 people think that because they spend an hour or two each week in a temple 170 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:43.720 or at a church, that means that they are somehow spiritually linked to the 171 00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:46.120 same people. Who does it do that? No, it doesn't, It 172 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:50.879 doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean any more than if you were both I 173 00:13:50.919 --> 00:13:54.879 don't know Seattle Seahawk fans and you spent three hours every Sunday dressed in hideous 174 00:13:54.919 --> 00:14:03.200 teal. Does not matter. You can respect each other's traditions without matching them. 175 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:09.840 You can honor each other's rituals and sacraments and sacrifices and superstitions without adopting 176 00:14:09.879 --> 00:14:18.000 them. And you can absolutely tolerate somebody spending fifteen minutes or fifteen hours each 177 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:22.799 week on their own journey while you explore yours. You eat lobster, they 178 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:28.360 abstain you. Like pork, they can't eat it. That has about as 179 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:35.440 much of a factor as a vegan dating a meat freak. I mean, 180 00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:41.960 it takes communication and compromise does but why do you need somebody who does it 181 00:14:41.080 --> 00:14:48.440 exactly like you, who cares and worst of all, they might change, 182 00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:52.720 maybe even best of all, they might change, And of all the things 183 00:14:52.759 --> 00:14:58.000 that might change in a marriage or a relationship. Trust me, stopping going 184 00:14:58.039 --> 00:15:01.559 to church is about the least signal if you get one, and it happens 185 00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:07.279 all the time. Life changes everyone, sometimes in a good way, hopefully 186 00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:11.440 in a constant way. And why when I bring all this up, people 187 00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:13.720 counter with, but I wanted our kids to be raised the same way we 188 00:15:13.799 --> 00:15:20.440 both were. Why how does that help them? Makes it hair easier for 189 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:24.399 you? I don't think so. It would be if you had two different 190 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:28.000 religions. It would be like growing up in a multilingual house, which is 191 00:15:28.039 --> 00:15:31.759 awesome. I don't know how it would have negatively impact a child to be 192 00:15:31.799 --> 00:15:35.080 exposed to two cultures, two sets of holidays, two sets of interpretations of 193 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:41.440 essentially the same text, which it is. How would that negatively impact your 194 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:48.279 relationship? I think it Wouldn't it be wonderful grounds for conversation and exploring and 195 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:54.919 communication and curiosity and compromise. Wouldn't it be amazing to learn from your partner 196 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:03.240 and discover new perspectives on I don't know everything. We've done several Jewish Great 197 00:16:03.320 --> 00:16:07.159 Love debates done. I'm in New York done, I'm in Los Angeles, 198 00:16:08.159 --> 00:16:11.080 which I have not been allowed to even host those because me being a quarter 199 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:15.600 Jewish is not considered Jewish enough, even though I think a quarter Jewish is 200 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:18.080 kind of like being a little bit pregnant. They don't count it. Then 201 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:22.919 I'll let me host it. But anyway, we do these shows, and 202 00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:25.679 there are all these Jewish singles, and most of them know each other or 203 00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.879 grew up together or attended each other as a bar mitzvah about mitzvah. And 204 00:16:27.879 --> 00:16:30.159 now they're like, well, I've had my fun. Now I have to 205 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:33.960 settle down with one of these people, because that was so my family wants. 206 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.519 And I'm standing in the corner because I'm not allowed to host, and 207 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:42.200 I'm like, what, this doesn't seem fun or sexy or loving. It 208 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:48.879 seems perfunctory. It seems like just another ritual in a long line and a 209 00:16:48.919 --> 00:16:52.200 lifetime of them, which is about the least romantic thing in the world. 210 00:16:55.159 --> 00:17:00.480 And I've personally dated all kinds, as I've been around all kinds, and 211 00:17:00.519 --> 00:17:07.480 I've been dating a long time. And the only reason people really want to 212 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:11.559 know what religion somebody is to assess how it affects them, which is extremely 213 00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:17.720 self indulgent and in no way relevant. Oh, you observe the Sabbath, 214 00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:21.160 great, let's go out Saturday night instead. You'll be fine. Look at 215 00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.759 it that way, you'll be fine. Oh you observe lent and you gave 216 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:26.680 up die pepsi for forty days. That sounds good. I'll give up mountain 217 00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:30.079 dew so I will support you in your deprivation ritual. Isn't that a better 218 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:33.640 way to look at it instead of Oh, you do that, I can't 219 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:37.400 do that, or I do this and you won't like that. There's always 220 00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:41.319 some element of this that is like, this is the way I am, 221 00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:44.440 and this is the way I always raised, which is better than the way 222 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:47.480 you are and how you were raised. If it is not exactly the same 223 00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:52.000 as how I am and how I was raised. Doesn't that sound ridiculous when 224 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:57.119 I pointed out and most of you are like, probably not, because so 225 00:17:57.160 --> 00:18:00.680 many of you are still this is what I want and it's not going to 226 00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:07.640 change, so too bad. Well, you've listened this long and you've heard 227 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:11.839 me this far, so maybe this window is cracked a little. I think 228 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:17.519 it's as silly as a Republican not dating a Democrat, or a Democrat not 229 00:18:17.599 --> 00:18:22.440 dating a Republican or a drinker, not dating a teetoller. You don't have 230 00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:26.599 to match every single one of your activities, and you certainly don't need to 231 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:30.960 do it one hundred and sixty eight hours a week. You do you, 232 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:37.039 I'll do me, and let's do us. Or if you're not part of 233 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:41.079 certain religion, you can certainly accompany the other person and learn and enjoy and 234 00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:47.799 share whatever part of it that they are. I think that's better. So 235 00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:55.799 my parents and grandparents all try to match up under this facade of Catholicism, 236 00:18:56.880 --> 00:19:03.119 and to quote John Mulaney talk about Catholic system, don't google it and this 237 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:07.440 facade that they put up, it was all nonsense and none of it really 238 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:12.799 had anything to do with Catholicism or religion. And if we get into that 239 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:18.680 church's nonsense and hypocrisy, I'd have to start a whole another podcast, which 240 00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:22.799 I might. And I don't care what your religion is when talking about this, 241 00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:29.799 because I don't even care what your religion is period. This is how 242 00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:33.119 all the world's problems start and have always started, and how they persist. 243 00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:37.799 People care way too much about it. We've made so much progress in blending 244 00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:42.559 so many I don't know possibilities, we'll call him that when it comes to 245 00:19:42.680 --> 00:19:48.759 dating. Yet we stick so stubbornly to the one that seems to, in 246 00:19:48.839 --> 00:19:56.079 reality matter the least. We only pretend that it matters the most. So 247 00:19:56.240 --> 00:20:03.759 stop pretending doesn't matter the most. Eighty percent of the pool of possibilities when 248 00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:07.039 it comes to dating is going to be a different religion from you, no 249 00:20:07.079 --> 00:20:12.079 matter what religion you are, And so to not explore that eighty percent eliminates 250 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:15.640 a whole lot of people before you get into anything else. And God forbid 251 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:21.559 no pawn that you start parsing down how deeply devoted any particular person is, 252 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.440 you know, or how devoted they are to some particular denomination or sect. 253 00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:33.920 Nobody's the same nobody, nor should we be. Stop pretending everybody is just 254 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:41.519 pretty close, and that means overall and pretty close is good enough. I 255 00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:45.799 don't care if one is Hindu and one is Baptist. You know what, 256 00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:51.039 when you break down the fundamentals, the principles that drive any religion, they're 257 00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:57.559 almost identical. You are building walls to the unfamiliar for no other reason than 258 00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:03.319 besides they are familiar. And when unfamiliar, the word is broken down the 259 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:07.440 etymology the meeting. It means that you don't have knowledge of something, but 260 00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:14.359 in actuality, unfamiliar means not of the family, not of your family. 261 00:21:15.279 --> 00:21:22.039 What you know, what you are used to, and everything good about dating 262 00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:30.039 or relationship can almost be found there right there. What you aren't used to, 263 00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:36.359 what you don't know, what you aren't familiar with, not of the 264 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:41.160 family. I have traveled all over the world doing the great love debate we 265 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:42.480 need to show in Tel Aviv a couple years ago, and I took a 266 00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:48.359 trip to Jerusalem, which is considered the holy land of the three major religions. 267 00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:53.720 They all share space, they all do their thing, and if you 268 00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:56.559 closed your eyes and you just kind of listened to it, or you printed 269 00:21:56.559 --> 00:22:00.319 out transcriptions of what everybody was saying or praying, it's pretty much the same, 270 00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:06.640 and everybody would be a lot better off if we just accepted that we 271 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:11.720 can share space and do whatever we want with our faith and beliefs, and 272 00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:15.000 understand that the person sitting across the table from you on a first date should 273 00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:15.920 be able to do the same, and you can learn from that person. 274 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:21.839 So give everyone a shot, which is what I always say, No matter 275 00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:26.319 what they celebrate no matter what they eat, no matter who or how they 276 00:22:26.359 --> 00:22:29.519 worship, no matter how they spend a few minutes a day or a few 277 00:22:29.599 --> 00:22:33.720 hours a week. At the end of the day, now I'm a stay 278 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:40.039 think that way. I think you will be absolutely fine, So disagree with 279 00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:44.240 me. All you want Great Love listeners, I think you know I'm right. 280 00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:47.839 And if you'd think I'm not right, shoot me an email Great Love 281 00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:52.400 Debate at gmail dot com and I will smash that ping pong ball right back 282 00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:56.079 at you. But I want a year from you. Shoot us and go 283 00:22:56.119 --> 00:23:00.599 to Great Love Debate dot com. I don't know what shows we have coming 284 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:03.000 up, but we do have some shows coming up, so check that out 285 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:06.920 for our live to our schedule. But most importantly like share review, please 286 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:12.039 follow this podcast, Review this podcast. Don't give me two stars just because 287 00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:15.240 you didn't like what I said today. You stuck it out the whole way. 288 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:18.039 If you listen this far, give it five stars because, as always 289 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:22.039 at the Great Love Debate, we never stopped making love. See you next 290 00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:33.440 time, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the Great 291 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:37.839 Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.