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Stop dropping your phone, You're idiots, don't need no cost all using
drug tarts reprophancy. Authors take on a statistic GamesMaster Will be and here tigers.
Hey everybody. I'm John Hartness and I'll be playing the role of Alphonse
light Bringer, Short and Surly Monk and Nutpuncher. In real life, I
write a bunch of different things, including the Quincy Harker Demon Hunter series,
the most recent release of which Comes a Reckoning is available now in print and
ebook, and I just got notification that it's gone into production for audio,
so we have audio in a few more weeks. I am Joseph Brassy.
I play the role of calhashwood Stone Paladin. I was an author on the
Mongoliad books. My novel Skyfarer and Dragon Road can be found from Angry Robot
Books and everywhere books are sold. And I am the author of such non
existent titles as what is that That's in my pants? No? Really,
what's in my pants? Why isn't it? Why is it moving? Oh
God? Oh God, salutations flushlings. I am Drew Hayes and I play
Metalla Kazam, the Sorcerer who's like a toaster that always gets it just right
and then maybe insult you a little bit while you're pulling the broad out.
In real life, I write books such as Superpowers, Fred the Vampire recountant
five minute Sherlock and the Spells, Swords and Stealth series, the list of
which number five is currently in edits and should be out in the first quarter
of twenty twenty two. Hello friends, my name is Robert Bevan. I
play the role of Joser the Sorcerer. The Sorcerer with the Murcerer in real
life right the Caverson Creatures series of novels and short stories, starting with the
first book, Critical Failures. Go get that stand Dandyliver here, professional folk
hero and absolutely an advocate of legal justice. I show you in real life,
I am Steve Webell and I write the Dame Said Jenny's with Foul Staff
books. Got check them out. Hey everyone, my name is Rick Wiltiri
and I am the Andrew Garfield of this Spider Man's sequel. Actually, that's
that's unfair. He was he was charming a fucking and you're not well.
I thought you were being aggressively mean to yourself. I was like Jesus,
Rick, God damn well. I guess it depends with Spider Man's sequel we're
talking about anyway. In real life, I've write several things, but the
most recent is the audiobook for Half Hearted Hunter False Icons three, which I've
written co written with author R. E. Carr. Go check that out?
All right, Well, unless the bastards got together, Hold up,
before we get any further into the US, Steve, there is gonna be
a jorcerer, the sorcerer with the Morserer T shirt real fucking soon, right,
I would hope, so, because God we can all get behind.
That's good. That's good. Yeah, okay, that's it nearly makes sense.
It sounds just sexually frightening enough. Who then paid for a horserer?
I got Morserer from the horserer. So what you do is you have a
shirt with some sorcerers. Fuck I encouraged it. That's horserer with a wh
you have a you have a just I got Morserer from the horserer, and
you have just a frightened looking horse on the shirt. No more tea yet
or anyone. He kicked then when he was done, he kicked her out,
the dorserer. Oh my god. All right, otherwise otherwise there's going
to be our whole hour, which probably is better than whatever you read.
We had planned. But so and last time we met, the group had
had just returned from their adventure under the sea. Nobody's saying. Unfortunately they
wound up they wanted up quote unquote accidentally killing killing the wizard Gibroni, who
then and then stepping into his quote unquote magical witch circle, which teleported them
back to the docks, where they were promptly arrested. Again that said they
were there they ended off least you guys were being marched through town and is
daybreak. Two things occurred. One stand still swiped the fish from a from
a nearby merchant, and Metallicazam rolled a very high persuasion a score trying to
uh to get the guards to uh to turn, to turn a blind eye
and let you go. One question, Am I alive and awake? I've
got my death as I've got one success marked. I don't know if that
was from a long time ago or or what. We'll say that they that
they they let you, they'll let you get healed back to consciousness. Yeah,
you know, just in time for you to hear one of the guards
up front, you know, as they're marching through the street, out of
the way, dead men walking. You hear that froggy He's gonna kill your
ass. Yeah. Well, well we'll say about that paint no attention to
me. I am certainly not recording in broadcasting this back to royal parties.
Well, tallacazam, your your persuasion, your persuasion role doesn't seem to have
affected the guards of their duty. Most of them, most of them seem
seem well in line. But as you're as you're marched through the streets,
several of the people setting up shop for the day, you know, do
kind of throw out throw out some la you know comments. They're along the
lines of, hey, they look like they look like noble adventures to me,
what do you what are you, Jack Boots doing? Yeay, Jack
Boots, You're not fear You will certainly not be executed for treason. When
these recordings are viewed, I will wave to the people who are witnessing the
parade. That is obviously for me, smile for the crowd. Boys.
I'm pretty sure I'm in the middle of the pack and can't see anything over
all of these idiots. You want a box man, sure, let's go.
Oh it's not what I meant. Oh, okay, I mean,
who's to hit me? Not you? I currently don't want to hit you.
You have been medical and your weapons have Have you've been relieved of your
weaponry? No? I haven't a man? What about items in general?
They just like mashed both of his fists together, so so now it's like
one fist that's like twice the things. Now. I just had the thought,
if you have like the improvised weapon fighting thing that lets you turn anything
into a weapon, could you use manacles and like the heavy chain as a
weapon. I don't see why not. That would actually be pretty cool.
Does anyone have that feet? Oh? I highly doubt I was just sort
of thinking like that would be neat. So yeah, fish dagger would be
pretty awesome, But I did not fing that far ahead. Just pull up,
pull out its spine, and shank somebody with it. I just think
of just jabbing someone with a fish bad to the bone if they've taken my
fieve tools off of me, I do actually want to pull out some bones
from this fish? Okay, roll me a survival check fine, full slight
of hand? Surely are you are? Are you pulling like a card out
of the fish's ear? Uh? No? Is that a roguability? I
don't know how this game works? All right, survival, can't we pull
a card out of the fish's here, because that would be cool. Yeah,
can I roll for that? I mean, is there a card in
the fish's ear? Yeah? Do you have cards? That's a good point,
But the sixteen is pretty good. As you're being marched through the street,
medical, um, you are ripping apart the fish you stole and uh
and removing bits of bone from it. Okay, I'll discuss the rest of
the Actually, no, I'll hang on to the fish flesh. What a
perfectly normal interaction to have with a fish carcass. This is a weird time
for sashimi, Stan, it's a perfectly good time for shush simi sushi.
You know, if you gave me some of that fish. It's really hard
to be a rog. I know you people, it's so fucking bad at
it. You have to fish. Oh, welcome to my world. It
would be crazy if like Klaus ended up in a different party by circumstances which
just started doing really well. I don't think that's gonna happen. I can't
imagine how tontive you un If it's yeah, I will, I will pass
the fish flash to um? How why not? All right, I'm throwing
the fish at the frog. All right, give me as long as this
detracts attention away from me, fine, give me an attack roll. I
will warn though that you're short and there's two people in front of you.
So he does have cover, Yeah, that should have the same stats as
a thrown hand axe, so sixteen that that would be my disadvantage role cover
cover does ensure that that he doesn't get hit. It kind of slaps off
of off of squats h bicep as he turns to you, and he's like
or enough of that, not enough of what he's like? All of you?
Damn it, jeworcerer, stop throwing fish at the large person. You've
done a favor for the town. That's why you're being even an audience with
the council and not being immediately executed. This is a surreal just town.
You know, you do a favor, and you got to do a favor
to keep yourself from being killed. Freeing slaves pay him no attention. Please
confrons openly to your crimes and speak loudly. Think well, well, yes,
our most circumstances, you would be hailed as heroes if you hadn't sunk
a ship in the harbor. A slave slave ship. Yeah about that,
Yes, your slave trading ship, because this frog deals in slaves. Oh,
and killed half of the aforementioned slaves in sinking the ship, freeing the
other half. It was tragic what your actions led to, you, murderous
file monster that smells a fish. That's me. Everybody give me a perception
twelve all their way through fourteen as well. That is an twenty seventeen.
Okay, so most of you, just most of yours are marked march.
You just start noticing liking some of the landmarks of the town. Um.
You know, you see an armorer, a you know, there's several fishmongers
selling their wares. You. You pass by an inn with a sign outside
that reads the bleeding Annis like the seed man jam like it. I would
like to prove a place put shit like that, and why it's good Annie
Seed No, it's even better as Star Annis Chocolate, Star Annis cal You
notice, uh, you notice, however, you're being marched toward toward one
building in particular, and outside of it you see you see two two people
step out that you recognize, see Captain Maggott and first mate Petra. Oh.
Hey, the slavers as they see you coming, they kind of pretend
not to notice and and uh walk off to the left. Hey, slavers,
that where are you going? We can talk. I mean, you
know, we're gonna get past you in just a few moments. But farewell,
criminals who steal and deal in human life. I hope all the nearby
citizenry who hear this are aware of your crimes. I think he's talking to
you. Wrote me another persuasion metallicas now fifteen. That's pretty good. Some
of the some of the fishmongers that you passed, they like, you know,
one or two of them hawk spittle at the guards. They're like,
yeah, death the slavers throw fish at the frog up with fish. Yeah,
I seriously fuck the frog man. He's he's he's a real bastard.
And he was like he tried to have us do this thing where they made
the slaves into a test, because apparently slaves lives are just like that,
no expendable and shed human life. It's wonderful, Oh dear. I certainly
hope knowledge of your crime spreading does not lead to you becoming poisoned, like
you're like you'd been the first one to try. No, it's not about
whose first pink slip, it's about whose last. No one in this party
would attempt to poison you, Pink Slip. Your screams would be far too
worthy to hear live. I often find it when it comes to poisoning,
it's the foot that counts. The problem with poisoning is you don't get that
really satisfying wap of fist on face. Come here, pink Dick, I'll
show you what it sounds like. He wouldn't have the opportunity to betray his
comrades and run away in cowardice, as we know he eventually will. It
would rob him of the gravitas of his journey. He raises a good point.
I have no idea what that means. It means he's a little bit
oh, He raises a good point. You hear, pink slip mutter just
Squat. You think I'm personally gonna push for them having their tongues cut out?
You would not be the first to try. You are all marched to
a to a large building that appears in the center of town, and by
large, it's pretty pretty modest. And Squat turns and set and says,
the town council is waiting for you inside you will have a chance to plead
your case and they will decide your fate. Wonderful. Oh yeah, all
right, Well you've got a picture, and you've got a picture and slack
see if you can work. Listen to the story, Jesus, and for
all your listeners, that appears to be a picture of a human lady horse
prostitute hybrid. No, no, we know what a horse. I hope
you don't work into the story. It's like, I can't see any good
coming of that. Yep that I think you just picked picked your sentence yours
for you're a road dog in that. I don't think you're threatening yours er
the way you think you are. Let the punishment fit the crime. Who's
getting punished here? What if the horse do? I don't know I'm of
a crime? I soon, Oh she's getting paid. Yeah, she does
have that look about it as true. Yeah, you still you still gotta
ask why the long face put that long dick? All right? She looks
a lot like a stripper I met once in South Carolina. We'll be inside
tracked you well, you are marched in, you know, through the building
and eventually led to led to a council chambers there are guards in there with
you, pink slipping squats, take seats, and there are already several people,
several people gathered. Are there chairs for us? No reconnaissance? You
an extreme activating. In fact, the the guards, the guards actually make
it a point to manacle your legs altogether. I got oh, I got
DIBs on not being chained directly to Georcerer. Yeah, I'd like to request
that too, All things considered, they leave George Jorcerer on the end.
There now these manacles ad a a key job over a just a spike hammade
fru job. Are there a key job? Okay? I want to analyze
if possible, check out a look, see if I think it can be
picked. Give me a stealth roll, stealth roll. Don't let me down
like you did last time. Eleven All right, guard closest to you doesn't
appear to have to have noticed, so yes you can. You can surreptitiously
start to start looking at the medicals. The meantime you pink slip takes his
seat. He's like ladies and gentlemen, it's it's an honor. I thank
you for seeing us and determined the fate of these miscreants, people who tried
to free slaves, specifically the words you're looking for his heroes. Yes,
the scumbag frog has already confessed to his crimes and they have been recorded and
reported. I mean, um nothing, that's it. That is enough,
Squat says. Would you like to confess as well? You will be given
a chance to plead your case for now. Shut it, okay, I'm
gonna do if I don't arrest me. I think he just kicked the shit
out of all of his mate I mean, when examined his options. The
woman who appears to be, you know, front and center woman, do
you say? Yes? She is? She is. She's an older woman,
wrinkled. She looks kind of salt of the earth. She looks pretty
tough though exactly my time, hey, except for the tough part. She
looks at you, Metallica Zam and she squits her eyes. She's like,
what the fuck are you supposed to be? Nothing? Nothing at all?
Not recording and transmitting this in any way to any authorities. Please speak freely.
Well, then, mister nothing, kindly shut the fuck up. While
we proceed with this. You might you might live through it. Noted further
questions will be ignored. Goddamn outsiders never know and I shut the fuck up.
Is this lady also a frog? And the man next to her,
he seems rather better dressed? Regalis there, He's like, now, no,
Greta, outbursts are bad for your blood pressure. What's blood pressure?
Good? Do you like my assholes? That's bad for my blood pressure?
You tell him, Greta, don't let this chap man splain your own blood
pressure to you. Like assholes were just got off a boat. Yeah,
carry out, carry on, captain slaves. If you don't want to do
with assholes, I'll be happy to kill the frog for you. That will
take one asshole completely out of your life. I'll do this for you because
I'm a hero, and that's what heroes do. This. Uh, this
gentleman here, the one eye patch. He stares hard at you, Alphonse,
Is that why you sank my brother's ship? Heroes, we're brother one
of the people that died on the ship. How many ships do we think
you mean? Today? That the valid question with the script. It really
is just the one that they're aware of. Squat turns to you. He's
like, allow me to introduce the members of the council. Perhaps that will
shed some light onto it. The gentleman you have the honor of speaking to
is only under maggot, brother of brother of the captain of the ship.
So he didn't die, So we saved him from the sinking of his ship.
Again Heroes continuing on, He points to a surly dwarf that's sitting in
a chair, and there's another dwarf behind behind him, rubbing his shoulders.
May I present you doll hammer hand and doss me and my husband here,
Might we run them? We run the run the black gutter mine. That
seems like an unfortunate name. This man turns to him, He's like,
yes, we're well aware. We're well aware of your contributions. Were aware
a well as we're well aware that of the pollution that the mine brings to
our town. Nonsense, He's like, nonsense. You don't say you don't.
You don't seem to mind the gems the mind brings. You can come
playing about a little muddy water. Seems everybody's getting a little bit political.
Stand down Oliver, who would like to try and pick the lock of his
manacle with the fish bone. Well this is going on, all right?
Well, what Is that sleight of hand? I don't know. I'm not
trying to pull a cord out of here. Yeah, we'll say, we'll
say slid a hand twenty one? All right? Is this your card?
That's not a card? You managed to click your which ones? Were you
working on your legs? Are you are your your arms? Arms? Fast?
All right? So manage you managed to click the luck on your arms?
As a squat continues, May I present Atticus Cullen. Yeah, he
represents the Merchant's Guild. You don't have to ask. You don't have to
ask. If you can present them before every council number, you can just
present them. We're not fucking going anywhere, okay, okay, okay.
The old ladies like, oh, you might be going somewhere if you keep
mouthing off. I mean, look, if you want me to mouth off,
lady, all you gotta do is well ask, buy me a lot
of drinks and kill the frog, and then you got yourself a date,
sweetie. No problem, h don't tell me that that's not the best offer
you've had in years. Sonny, I could walk out this door and have
any of a dozen men between my legs and at that the other the guy
next to her. Atticus's like, do we really need to go there?
Yes, considering that's not the brand you might think it is. Yeah,
I mean, like, how many of those are coerced? You know?
Oh man, it's got duck you know what falls I'm an old man.
I'm gonna I'm gonna have to sit on the floor for a little while.
Sorry about this. And you tin can you don't see you don't seem to
understand how how small towns work, how they survive. Ah, yes,
human trafficking the standard small town industry. It's a mom and pop business.
I'm Sila Dole hammer hand nods. He's like, like, I like this
one. I never buy Arceland. It's a Walmart at the minds we don't.
We don't. We don't use slaves. We need commerce, not not
flesh. I like this guy. Not. You will not be counted among
the traders in the report, as I was saying, Squat says the final
two members, Greta Bass Swallow and Diamond Ozan. The last guy, the
last guy you can see is he's kind of young, little starry eyed,
dressed really well, and he appears to have a man servant with him.
I know one member still not accounted for. And while I'm sitting on the
floor, did I have a crack? Undoing owls? Magically, You're not
sitting on the floor, You're standing. I did pressie say I'm going to
sit on the floor. Now, did anybody stop me? Okay, no,
then no they didn't. I am an old man, after all,
just a weak old man sitting on the floor. It's been a long day.
Are doing anything? Carry on arguing, yes, he does this pretty
normal, we all do, the young the young guys like, do we
really have time to deal with this um? I mean, we we have
better things to deal with in the town. I mean, but my sources
tell me that that the Brotherhood of the Sloth has has agents and and that
uh squat stands up. It's like nonsense. Those scum are not in my
town. How wild you know you're working with scum kidnapp and sell humans pond
scum. He's a real scum like slavers the Okay, given that you guys
traffic enslaves, I'm gonna need some defining of what counts is scum here?
What do they do? Break chastise people, break the chains free? Yeah?
What pieces of shit. They are the living. They are the polar
opposite of everything that that I my people have stood for. That's not a
pretty good here. Yeah, we're pretty much on board. He raises an
arm and like he flexes his bicep. He's like, I come from a
temple where we strive for the highest of physical perfection. Cal strives, cal
strives to be the highest in any room, too, buddy, and you
fail, excuse you don't, I'll just kill you. It's fine. Can
I please get unhandcuffed and beat the ship out of the frog now? Gretta's
like, no, So allow me to explain to you the charges that have
been put up against you, and well, fuck then I'm gonna sit down
too. Yes, you can read your charges first. What would you like
to put up against me? I am normally not in favor of summary x
Uan, but all of you apparently not, because you're some long winded motherfuckers.
You can't summarize none. I plead consent. Oh god, fucking Jorcer
the morser. He could be saying the most consent oriented thing. It's sound
like a sex criminal. Yeah, I plead consented. Just horrible. Oh
god, who knew Clouds was the warm up character. Anyone who's read Shingles
or or people who are gonna soon soon watch Shingles. Oh movie plug,
well done, Rick Shingles. The movie Shingles, the movie is moving forward,
the casting call is gone out, and you know we are we are
it is is making headways which have nothing to do with the plot of this
podcast. Yeah, while Rick's plugging the movie, I wanted to do another
slight of hand on my es. Plugging from the movie is better than anything
Jorcer was gonna plug. Oh god, I respectfully disagree. All right,
give me another role. I completely forgot where we were in everything when fuck
I don't know it. I decided to sit down. You're anyamed out.
She's reading your she's reading your charges. Actually, everybody give me a perception
check to see if you actually hear anything, or if you're too busy staring
at Orcer nineteen nineteen. Can we just assu woom that we don't care anything?
Oh yeah, ten, I didn't give a shit about anything she's saying.
I'm just sitting on the floor. Cal rolls A twelve thirteen. Well,
anybody who rolled ten and above, this is for you, which looks
say everybody, Gretta explained. As she explained, she's like, charges against
you are you were sent here by the Crown to act in their stead,
despite the fact that we did not request such a help, and in doing
so you promptly sank sank a boat that was sanctioned by by the Crown.
Yes, as you said, we came to act in the crown instead,
and in doing so discovered a conspiracy of treason, a town smuggling humans,
and acted in their immediate interest as best we could. Unfortunately, the crew's
efforts to thwart our salvation led to the deaths of many in the process,
as has been recorded, and I mean has just been witnessed normally, nothing
to say here, however, if you have any pleads to your own confessions
confections, Oh I do, because you see what you quote unquote stumbled upon
was a test that was agreed upon by this Council and the Crown. So
you're saying that because Dolls Dole says, he's like, not by all of
us, not by all of the Crown, as I'm sure you are aware.
Once these charges are reach Royal ears, yeah, um okay, so
I'm gonna need to know who in here was cool with the slave thing.
That's that's that's relevant to like you know, my list might my might to
do list down the line demands question, Yes, who are the traders?
Please point to them with your weapons if you like sixteen slave hand Well at
this point, at middle Kazam's urgings, you know, squats and nods and
the guards both druthers old druthers words and point them at all of you.
A conspiracy that goes all the way through. Thank you, your honesty has
been recorded and sent. I mean some why look now, to be fair,
everybody's been talking a lot here and talking over each other. But it
seems to me that we have both passed and failed this test and operated on
and not operated on Crown business. Seems like a no score draw. I
say, we chalk it up to bad luck. Go our separate ways.
Greta. Greta nods. You said, well, very well, So so
you have the money to compensate the ship owner for both his ship and property.
That would be I think he learned a valuable lesson. I feel after
you have paid the fines for your slave trading, we will have more than
enough. Yes, my mental lawyer friend could probably tie this one up for
quite some time, or we could just settle out of court at that nice
bleeding Anis pub. Perhaps I don't think that's how you whatever, that's fine,
She's like, I think it'll be a while before you see the inside
of the bleeding Annis first rounds on me. These are the charges livid against
you, and these are the charges livied against you. I'm rubber your glue,
and seriously, who's gonna put up with this shit? Like? Yes,
we're not going to pretend you have any sort of legal high ground.
We are the law here. No, you're a sad collection of people who
think you're safe because of the might of others. I've had enough of this.
I should quickly point out that I am not in any way legally affiliated
with these people. You're literally tied to me. Stan, Oh, we're
gonna get killed. This is gonna be great, not for long slight of
hand. Twenty Yeah, we knew when we took that ship down this might
be a party. Why all right, you are? You are free?
But there there is a guard, you know, with his eyes on you.
He doesn't appear to notice you were You were subtle enough that he hasn't
noticed you're you are free, but he definitely has his sword out pointed at
you. That's fine, I'm not making any sudden moves. That slight hand,
by the way, was for um Al unless my sixteen didn't do anything.
Thanks, but that actually I'm gonna say do that again. This one
will be at at disadvantage because you're working on somebody else's That's a little harder
to come up cover up in a room full of people staring at you.
That is, I'm fuck it up this till oh my team, oh Al's
hands are free, shish jeemy. I think it's about to get real of
the Whole Foods parking lot. Perhaps the younger guy he steps forward, he
raised his hands like okay, I can see that emotions are running high here.
Everybody has has strong opinions on the matter. I think we can agree
that there is a loss of property at hand. But at the same time,
they did us a favor. I believe they appeased you know, mister
Jabroni, who who has been a constant thorn nurse side, surely that counts
for something. We appeased the fuck out of him and Accustomy. You've mentioned
you had an aging problem, and as we might be sometime on the paperwork
of the aforementioned sinking that ship that you probably shouldn't have had filled with slaves,
maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement. You need some bastards
taken care of, and where the bastards for you? And how do you
and how do you propose to be the bests for us by by perhaps burning
down the entire town the traders. I will step forward out of the manacles,
say I have a particular set of skills. Squat's success forward. He's
like, you're treading on dangerous, dangerous ground here, fancy man. I
would get back in line if I were you. Okay, I will step
back in line. See super compliant, but again something of a free agent,
open to negotiation, morally flexible. Also, he's he's he's just generally
really flexible, just putting that out there. I have many skills. So
Greta sits back and she's she's obviously kind of I guess I guess the elder
of this council. And she's like, well, that is fascinating that that
you're offering your skills to us, But how would we ever trust you?
Since you've already murdered several sailors and uh and injured several guards and you are
slave traders. You trust the frog? She she ignores you metallic exam and
she's like, and also, you have a metal box here that won't shut
the fuck. I don't know how it works. Even you have a fucking
frog. You have an old woman whose somility isn't endangering your town. See,
we can both be mean with a Wriggley box. Oh, the sad
age has corroded her meat brain waiting to such sad transgressions as open human trafficking
and admitting it. Al turns to Stan and says, Dude, I'm the
one of the least unfriendly people in this party. We're fucked. Okay.
So you mentioned something about sloth people, and I'm thinking you need to give
us a reason as to why we shouldn't assume that, since these people are
against you, that they're not you know, the pro freedom or some Yeah,
I'm i'm, I'm, I'm I'm seeing like needing moral justification. Squat
Metris. He's like, the Brotherhood of the Sloth are scum, Okay,
But why they seek They seek to power and they seek through treachery, do
they sell other human beings? And worst of all, they seek it through
the laziest means possible capitalism. You see, this is the problem with viewing
and human trafficking. It gives you the immediate moral inferiority and makes us assume
anyone against you is a good person. Again, like, what is it
that they're doing. I'm going to suggest it. Day are alive, and
we might not be soon, and perhaps we should negotiate on nosa premises.
Well, some people in this room will die. How many of how many?
You are missing some necessary human emotions? My friend, necessary is a
negotiable term. Oh, shut up, all of you. I would like
to offer a compromise, old lady. I can't wait to hear. Well,
that's fair. I'd just like to mention, uh, stand and deliver
is not the only slippery one here. Oh god, he's not wrong.
So first, really, nobody touched Yourcerer. But that's not part of the
night. I saw that man fight a mermaid with his dick. We had
a crew for you, lady. No one's prepared. We performed a service
for the town in fighting the fish wizard. Asshole JABRONI whatever. As I
am aware, we also seem to have perhaps contributed in some way to the
sink of Captain I don't know, butterflies boat, the guy with the eye
patch like Gritz's teeth, maggot calling me fucking names earthworm. I mean,
now you show, wouldn't you prefer about to fly? I mean, like,
that's a heck of a thing that could to correct yourself on. It's
like, I'm we thank Captain sparkle fingers boat. Yeah, whatever, go
on. I want to hear the rest of your deal, a little man,
Well, why don't you take the reward that we are owed for getting
rid of jawbone or whatever the fish wizard idiot's name was, and give it
to captain what was it again, amiba whatever? Give it to him to
repay him for his boat. Take us out of these handcuffs. Everybody leave
except us and the frog. Ten minutes. We'll solve that problem too,
and then we're all even. See steven ze Mouthpieza turns to her and he's
like, I have a better idea. We could always dust off the guillotines
again. Nah, we won't need that for you. Yeah. See,
see, guillotines are what you use for the privilege. Now, we're not
doing a quick death with you, Greta. Greta's she like you can tell
you're kind of working on her nerves there. I offered to work on something
else. But it's like, alas, both of those, neither of those
work for me. Like on the one hand, she turns to pinks.
On the one hand, they did do a favor for us, and if
we had agreed ahead of time that if they succeeded, that we would commute
a death sentence, as tempting as that sounds right now. On the other
hand, what you did really does not make up for for the cost and
the chaos and the injuries. Oh no, no, I understand that fully.
That's why I'm volunteering to kill the frog for you too. You really
need to get past his frog thing, dude, there are other things at
stake right now. The frog can wait. We could string up his entrails
and head as a warning to other slavers. See Rick, I would like
to make a perception check. I want to I want to see if I
can U locate who has the keys to the shackles to it. Could it
could be you? For all you know, he's just staring hard at a
guard next to him, just make him feel super uncomfortable. Oh God,
just extended eye contact undressing you. Yeah, he's just staring at at betag
at Greta, going I'm gonna make you so moist. I was just gonna
go back to making dirty jokes. Last. You have no idea this is
this is going so badly. I mean, you're a pellet in the room
with slavers. There was a pretty good chance we were gonna have to fight.
I mean we're not dead. So yeah, it's been We've been him
worse. I have any of you fuckers had the expression lived to fight another
day? Yeah? I thought it was stupid. All right, So all
right, what what? Medica steps up to Greta and uh and he's like,
they have a they have a point. Perhaps we could we could use
them. There have been reports of Brotherhood agents in the town. We know
there are threats. There are threats outside of town constantly. Um, heck,
you know there's a dragon turtle at Sanka the Sanka frigates not too long
ago. There's any one of of of there's only one of a thousand suicide
mission. I means we could send send these stalwart adventurers on to make up
for their crimes. See Greeney, he wants us to kill you too,
And she's like, this is true. This guy Oleander turns her. He's
like, I'll agree, but I but my family needs compensation. We demand
it. I agree his family should be killed for participating in slavery. It
is the compensation they are due. Dole stands up. Perhaps I have a
solution that I'll work for everybody that give me these give me these scum,
I'll put them to work in the minds. When they dig up enough gems
to pay off their debt, then uh, they'll be free to go.
Well, I did have a better idea, but I'll take that over execution.
I'm still thinking it over. Well, it's execution or seeing who can
standing. Oleander Nazi's like that would be that would be acceptable. Greta.
Wait, He's like, which part is acceptable to you, Lavender? The
part where we kill everybody or the part where we go to the minds,
The part where you go to the minds. And you know why, because
if it works, my family gets paid, and if it doesn't work,
you'd die in a cave. In either way, it seems like a like
a win win. Again, there is the third option if attempting to kill
everyone in the room. The keyword dad is attempting. I want to I
want to try to catch stand Dan Deliver's attention and wink at him. How
am I to do that? I done to deserve that. Let's see here?
What is that an intimidate check if you let's let's do let's say that's
a performance check. Okay, oh god, I think it's maybe a con
save not to run away. I got a twelve. Whatever whatever happens if
I get his attention or not, I'm going to repeat. Stand Dan Deliver
is not the onliest slippery one in this group, you know. Stand,
He's only a few feet away from you. I think I think you have
the option of either acknowledging or ignore him or ignoring. Suddenly, there's no
way that's not interpreting this is a sex thing. Given everything that's come before,
there could be a hidden meeting here. But that's really not being Joysera
style so far. Yeahs, subtlety has not been a weapon that he wield
it especially well. Can I rolls an insight check or something like that?
Sure? Fifteen Okay, you is he trying to fuck me with this statement?
Consider considering in the last why don't you send me a whisper? This
will determine what you what you what you notice? Stand. Although I was
gonna say, you know you do remember that not too long ago, well
pretty much barely an hour ago, jorsa, it was fucking a piece of
coral. Okay, well, I'm gonna assume there's enough of inside too to
unsuspected. Jose has some kind of plan. Yes, he definitely throws a
wink at you, but oddly enough, it doesn't seem horribly salacious. Okay,
this is improvement in the relationship. It's more it's more of a trust
me wink and less unless of a unless of a you know, my hand
is like, you know, underneath my robes grabbing myself wink. It could
be both, and dandy Lever will prepare to die in a somewhat spectacular way
and will fake a heart attack. He winked at me. Oh my god,
I'm gonna I'm gonna going it's good. Oh god, this is how
we diffuse the situation bullets. Oh hell, oh, my conservative sensibilities please
help stand needs medical attention all right, this is opposed to Squat's insight check
and this is coming in negative one. All right, guards, somebody helped
us. Man. We can't have him dying before he's executed. That would
be terrible. I am trained in all forms of medicine. If you'll unchain
me, I'll be able to provide him with valuable medical assistance. It's like
nonsense. He has my pills, I know. Goddamn. It's like you're
duck in a check at applebeats yep, what I got left? Man,
you beat his insight check by quite a bit with your performance. So he
is quite quite so convinced as you're as you're lying there, convinced enough that
he raises a fist and he brings it down in your chests. On,
I'd like to stay to the garden next to me. What are you doing
to help him? If Jorsera gets us all out of this, this is
gonna be magnificent. Oh no, is Orser the competent one. You're a
monkey idiot? You never that doesn't work? Be better? Does a fifteen
hit you? Yes? It does? All right, this is non lethal
damage. Pulls his punch a little bit, but you think think three damage
as he pounds on your chest. Live, damn, you'll live. This
is the opposite of living, you find him counterintuitively, Oh god, I'm
stabbing the shit out of someone. Get better? Why is he asulting a
dying old man? What kind of courthouse is this? All right? So
let me ask while this is going on, any of the rest of you
going going to do anything? Did the did the guard I suppoke to?
Not resp and it all? Give me a persuasion role? Okay, try
winking amm again, sending him running from the room. I actually have persuasion
as a as a checkmarked skill whatever that means. That's or you should have
a good charisma sixteen nice, You're probably You're probably right? Is is there
anything I can do? Captain? Is it? Yeah? Keep an eye
on the prisoners. I gotta want to look at uh cal Hashwin and just
kind of give him the old like, are we fucking going? And look?
We are all chained together? All right? Next time, next chance
I get, I want I want to cast reduce on my reduce on myself
to get out of the chains. Does that what does that require? I
don't know? Refractory here my opening move planned. I'm just I'm just making
sure I'm not kicking off shit. The rest of us aren't ready for,
uh, none of us already for this verbal semantic pinch of I'm gonna say.
I'm gonna say if it was if it was verbal and semantic, like
you know, semanthic, i'd let you get away with it, but that
it has components. Um, you're not gonna be able to do it well
while you're tied up. All right? What if I bite myself and draw
blood? Does that count as powdered iron. That's pretty good. It's a
pretty hardcore, and it's so Josh because he's he's incorporating fluids into this strategy.
And even know if you don't let him get the blood, you know
what he's gonna do next. Oh okay, so I am going to say
this. Everybody go into initiative. All right, now we should start putting
some muss. I'm logic to how you order the things happening. The Sorcerers
a fourteen Calroll's a twelve. Metallica Isamerals a fourteen. Even with my increased
initiative, I got nine, I'll got a sixteen. It's probably because I'm
being punched by a huge guy right now. Okay, and welcome to my
world, rugs a shit full health. Fuck no, no, we're definitely
not. That's part of why I have not actually made a move. I
didn't know if we were going for it or not. Well, we'll add
these guys just in case. But so what what kind of look I'll give
me when I get the Are we gonna fucking do this? Look? Well?
Well, well we will see, we will see. It's turn there,
okay, all right, fair enough. Well, like I said,
just to be clear, I did ask that other guard to go away,
so that maybe uh I might yeah, and I realized there are a bunch
of other people in the room, But my intention was to reduce myself without
being seen, gonna lock it down without being seen. Have you ever seen
a turtle get down, slam and jam into the newspa? Sorry, I'm
gonna just assumed it like a Sabbs fucking malfunctioning right now? Yeah? Man,
my friends weird? All right? So so georgs for when we get
to a turn, I'm gonna rule that some'll probably be kind of a two
turned thing. So yes, you can use your own blood, but but
biting yourself your wrists open. It is going to be an action, and
casting the spell is another action. Okay, that's fair reasonable, all right?
So the guard, this guard is pretty much over here, looking confused
as uh Squat is beating life back into Stan Alphonse, Is there really any
question about what I was about to do? Yeah, let's come on,
tin man, we're going. We're going frog gigging, and I'm so glad
I've freed his hands. I do I need to wait? Do I need
to wait on my turn before before giving a look back? Or should I
just yes, it's because I'm going for the frog, all right, Well,
actually you're not because you your arms are free, but your legs are
still chained, but stands not chained arms or left, so I should be
that is true. I will say you can shuffle five feet fine, that's
all I need. Yea, this is how it all ends again. You
know, honestly, if we die fighting slaverys not bad we could have hoped
for with this crew, It's really not. There was so many ways out
of this. I mean no, I mean like it's the most noble end
we could hope for. We're only going to get worse from here. I
was just following your leave. Yeah, Steve, you're the one unlocking people
defense. Nicole was you're all going to die and we are going to kill
you. I mean, I assumed that's why you won fastened. Every time
I said something to the country to that, somebody would say, yeah,
I'm gonna kill the frog. Pink slip was megher than you won the initiative.
But I'm going to say, this is a surprise round for him.
Oh, I think it's definitely going to be a surprised God. Then he
is a fucking moron. Surprise whether fucker. So the first unarmed strike is
a nineteen that hits and this and I do get a second one that'll be
a twenty two. All right, you step up and you just punch him
twice. He's christ I got him for nine. Definitely, you definitely bloody
his snout. Well, I love it when a plan comes together. Sent
up, all right, tell zam Okay, I have to ask for some
quick clarification since we had the wrong Matt for part of the conversation. Which
ones were the ones who were openly like, hey, we didn't like the
slavery thing. The purple guy, this guy, yep, this guy is
really the only one who spoke against it, and this guy was trying to
was trying to be this is Diamond. He was trying to smooth things over
a little bit. Okay, okay, so those were the this is Captain
Maggott's brother. This guy really didn't say four or against and she was just
like, you don't understand how towns uh work? Oh okay, the old
lady is the one in the cravats. Yes, gotcha, okay, and
let me check something here then fire a bold range. Yeah. Yeah,
Well, compliance is part of it sometimes, So I'm going to misty steps
verbal only as my bonus. All right, your chains clattered to the floor.
I'm still fucking chained, and I'm going to stare down, stare down
frail, weak, athetic flesh, and I'm going to use sword burst.
Oh great for one damage. So it's a burst of swords that swing out
all around me. Basically everybody within five feet of me has to make a
DC fourteen deck save or get stabbed. Grettit misses and Atticus misses. Now
you both get sliced by magic swords. Here we go. Or perhaps you
thought distance made you safe. All right, utter chaos, utter chass this.
This guard um looks up and he's like, what do I give?
Boss? Kill the frogs? He's he's like, protect the you protect the
councilman. This guy's moving away from you, Stan, Do you want to
come out of your feulla? Well, actually you're not armed. I'm not,
but I'm still a rogue. I'm just gonna bite myself. Give me,
ah, give me a damage roll. I think you can bite yourself
pretty pretty well for what the damage? Actually, actually give me an attack
roll because this will determine if you really rip yourself open. Oh no,
what all right? What's the attack roll? Just just D twenty three.
That's just a normal guess you managed to grab hol did your wrist and start
chewing into it. Give me one D four. Give me one D four
damage. I'm gonna say you're gonna need three points of blood to to do
this shit. I got too Well, you'll bleed. You'll bleeding is kind
of a free action, so bleeding it's such a generous feel that one also
needs to be a shirt. Do you miss a trick there? All right?
Well, Squat steps up and moves away, ignoring the man dying on
the floor, turns to the guard he's like, yeah, you take care
of him. I got this one. Wait did we skip Georcer again?
No, he did the bite thing right right right, like a trapped animal.
It's fine, just tearing and notes up, all right, Sorry,
go ahead. So he's just gonna take one punch at you, Alphonse for
now, this coming in plus eight so twenty five. Oh no that misses,
of course. That yeah, that fucking crushes me for nine damage.
Aw quit it dealing with something right now. I can see that we are
so committed to killing this fucking frog. I don't like frogs, all right.
So this guy was moving away, try to defend the townsfolk. Shit,
I'm still chained, but only to Jorcerer at this point. That's true,
and he will. He will try to stab you. Metallic HiT's a
twenty or four piercing twenty will definitely hit. All right. So you too
have betrayed your country and turned to selling other human lives. You're face catalogued,
you're filthy, ungardless, machine scent. Your family will be notified of
your treachery. All right, cal okay, you are still chained to jeor
Serer, but uh and uh, and you are attached to alphonse, although
he has h he has about ten feet kay that he can move from you,
and metallic Hazam disappeared from his chains. Okay, so how much a
movement can I do? I have available? Five feet? Really? Because
okay, if I move like five feet to my right, bringing me kitty
corner with this guard. Um, can I grab his weapon? Um?
You can try to do a grapple, and you're gonna make me look up
the fucking grapple wolves, aren't you. Well, I just want to try
and grab his weapon. If he's got a sword, like pull it out
of a sheet or something, Well, he's already, he's alread, he's
already got drown. Um, he's got a spear. Now he's got a
spear. Okay, Um, I'm thinking two options here. One I grab
his I grab his spear, and just try to fight to let die.
Don't worry, Carl, I've got this. You could just move forward and
punch the frog. You may as well get a licking. We're all gonna
die. Um, all right, So I guess my my main question is
because I know talking is a free action, but is it a full action
to make a persuasion check? Um? In addition to trying to grab the
weapon. Um, yes, yes, yes, a check like that would
be would be an action. Talking is free, but you're purposely trying to
trying to accomplish something. Yeah no, that makes total sense. Um okay,
this is stupid, but let's see if we can make this work.
Um. Cal is going to move five feet to the left here, and
he's going to yell at all of the guards in the room. All right,
if any of you at all give even the slightest shit about human trafficking
and about saving lives, maybe help us. I'm a role persuasion. I
mean, I've been talked into some weird ship by high people, so it
makes perfect sense. That's fucking eleven to never mind. I mean, really,
you never know. Somebody might have been teetering on the moral might.
God knows, it shouldn't have been that all true Metallica, Isam's going for
it, then he's gonna go too. It's not they're gonna let his friend.
Well, once Alfan through the first punch, I knew it was just
add you're welcome, all right. That was my rule. It's like,
I'm not gonna throw the first punch, but I'm will be ready when the
first bunch gets thrown. Well, that works out well because throwing the first
punch is kind of my whole thing. All right, do you threaten right
now? Metallic isam um? I can't imagine they would have let me keep
a melee weapon on me, so I don't probably don't have my dad right
well, and I don't think you can. Oh wait, I can use
an arm strike, yes, all right. Well, this side tries moving
away from you. You want to take a swing at him? No,
I don't care about him as much, right like guards, Guards got it
here in action. Cut these bastards. Don't worry guards. We're taking care
of killing the traders for you. Gretta, on the other hand, she
pulls out a dagger. She looks like she's standing her ground. Is this
a dagger? I see you before me. I'm gonna see what makes you
tick inside tin can justice? But she she only gets a ten. Oh
is the strength of others failing you? Stand? It is your turn?
Tall like his ms are going to be really smug when we're all dead.
This goud I assumes being distracted a little bit by the fighting monk, and
he's a little bit distracted but he has been ordered to care for you.
He's definitely looking at me while the fight goes on. Binded, those are
resorters. Oh what sweethet. I want to draw him close and come,
Corsa. You remind me off, my son. Give me a persuasion.
You've had to stab him. We'll see persuasion twenty fuck yes, as you're
lying, they're dying. My son tears come to his eyes and he's like,
i'mused me, papa as he leans, Yes, he he most certainly
leans closer. Does he have a dagger on him? I will just point
out that the brave for sersuasion wasn't action. Okay, I'm glad this guy's
father didn't molest him. M God, not for the obvious reason, just
in general. It's nice. I missed my papa's loving caress. No,
I probably used this, I suppose, all right. I'll tell you that
unless he was into it. Do I see if he has anything, he
does have a dagger on him, bear it out of mind as I caress
his gentle, stupid face. All right, Well, we've been going for
a while here, and that brings us to the top of the round.
I did want to see where you were all committing to and it's an interesting
place, our eminent destruction, destruction salvation, something something interesting will most certainly,
you know, be be happening. What are we gonna break? While
I'm na on my own? Fucking are? I would say? Could we
do one more round? Because I have something I kind of want to do
that you might want to have in your head when you're planning for next week
too. Ohka, you fine, Great, I get to punch the frog
again. Alphons, you can take a you can take up attack against the
guard's got a red kellies. This sounds a bitches. Hit you for a
twenty two? Yep that hits for four? All right? He would he
would be spitting out a tooth, but he doesn't have teeth. Less he
is. He does retreat to the far corner, which leaves you ol,
Hey, gluteus maximus, I need the keys. I gotta gott a frog
to kill like yes, and I have a little man to pummel. Hey,
look, you want to go flog here? Bishop, You do what
you gotta do. But uh, instead of attacking squat the guard that stands
trying to make out with I want to jump on his back and choke him
out while he's all knelt over the dying stand Dandy liver can, I'm not
just having one plan, please, I don't even know what kind of attack
that is. I think that I think that'll be a that'll be probably a
grapple and attack the guy that's not fighting us, all right, So basically
you're going to make it strength check against an athletics check against his athletics check,
and you will have advantage since h he's busy like you do with tears
and his guys going Papa, I miss you. Then that's the Oh my
god, this kid's gonna die happy, go bigger, go home. Oh
yeah, you you know something I will just like Papa used to do,
I will say, I will say between a twenty three versus and that one.
Um, yeah, you get in there, you dig that that around
his neck and uh, I'm gonna roll. Uh. I'm gonna say you
can do a you can do kript damage just round. You caught him totally
by surprise, and you're just digging that chain into his Adam's apple. For
some reason, I thought you were gonna be like you can ride it too,
ayem not. I'm not just pupping him around, but I'm not trying
to choke him to death. I'm just trying to you know, well you
are you did you? Did you? You got you pretty much always everything
into it. That's the thing about choking. You don't have to try for
it to be guy. Oh, it's not too soon, it's fine,
thank you. I don't know what what do I roll damage for? Roll
rolling unarmed and like the same same same Lezier on armed attack but uh,
fourteen you didn't mean to, but you essentially snap his neck with one even
as he's like his tears like Papa, I missed crack hack. My son
was an idiot too. No, unfortunately that was I was unexpected. Oh
well, well we're in it now, Fellas. Yeah. Yeah, so
I guess that was the dead one. Yeah, your son of a bitch,
Yeah, pretty much. Whoops. All right, um, I am
going to think tactically and long past that, like by five years. Oh,
you'd be surprised. I am going to disengage, all right, move
over to here, and then I'm going to use some sorcery points, a
resource I often forget. I have to be honest, which I think I
have four right now anyway, So I'm gonna use two of them to cast
firebolt as a quickened spell, so I can do it as a bonus even
though I disengaged, and I am going to target the old lady specifically,
I'm going to target her in her wooden chair on her wooden floor. Okay.
I think they have a little too much free attention to pay to us,
and maybe they need to be a little more concerned about smoking. Holy
barrymore up in here. Fire starters in a crowded room in the middle of
a fight. Fire is what you need. Hang on one second, Rick,
don't tell me if that succeeds or not yet. Okay, I can
find out after you tell me, so let me know if I have failed
that, missus, I would like to invoke favor of the gods. Uh
to use my reroll? Okay, to firebolt again. No, it's the
same firebolt. Just I'm rolling again. Sorry, I don't you miss her,
but you do hit the chair. Hey, oh all right, as
long as some things, I'm fine. Indeed, I'm gonna just kind of
turn to the guy next to me. You know, my understanding is you
don't need oxygen to breathe. What a penny? What's what's that smell?
Oh smells like justice. You are you are easily able to bleed out?
Actually, roll me a D four one. All right, you bleed out
one? You have enough iron reaction. Yes, I'll say that was a
free actually all right, I'd like to cast my reduced spell. Keep keeping
keep in mind though you are still bleeding. Okay, all right, caser
reduced spell. Yeah. How small do you become small enough to get out
of these chains? I mean, is there? Like? I don't think
there's a how small they go down to? Like? There? You go?
Wow, that's fun. Oh we can fance so many type places.
Oh no, look at the places I can crawl down. Oh oh boy,
oh boy, this is so much more terrifying than anything we've done.
All right, joys, your movement is halfed because you're you're a small enough
but you are free from the chains. And conversely and conversely cal you are
only attached to alphons. Now, okay, and there's metallic hasam sized space
between us. So yes, so you have ten feet of movement. But
but joyce, you have movements still. Oh all right, um, I'm
just gonna go move behind whoever that is. Yeah, yeah, you watch
the tiny half sized George r runs back. That is the most disturbing thing
I have ever seen in my life, pure tub and Jerry E. King
right now, h Now, I'm minding you, squats turn and having seen
you brutally murder his guard, he he unleashes a flurry of blows at you.
Yeah, that's that's fair, all right. What happens after he finishes
sucking else, Dick? He probably kills me. I guess what's safe?
Yeah? I assume what eleven misses? Does a nineteen hit? Yeah,
nineteen hits a right, eleven doesn't miss twice? And I'm down for eighteen
eighteen? Yeah, ten plus plus I said one D six plus four so
two fives and eight. Yeah, well I'm out. Al's down this guard.
He starts working on putting the fire out a chain, doing it not
just chan to unconscious guy. And you have a jocerer behind a night don't
pay attention to that. Now, he's definitely working hard not to pay attention
to that, Believe me. Trying to think if I've got anything in the
bag that's useful. I'll say this, you can move ten feet freely.
If you move beyond ten feet, it is difficult terrain because you have to
drag Al. Yeah, but you don't have to move anywhere to pour a
healing potion down Al's throat. You don't have a healing potion? Yeah,
I know. No I don't. I don't have a healing potion, but
I do have can I? Okay? So important question. Can I snatch
up the spear from the guard and drop a lay on hands on Al?
No? No, okay, I gotta choose. Well, then kill Baldy.
I mean call you. You and Metallica's name have traveled long enough,
you know I have ranged. That's true, that's true. Okay, all
right in that case, my next question is can I stack multiple smites?
Um? Okay? So fuck the actually yes, that that that you as
long as you have the smites, you and the attacks okay, um,
yeah, every time you hit, you can drop a smite. I mean
I normally don't do it for a silence, just for just because it seems
like overkill, but you are well within the rules to do it. Okay,
cool, because that's what he's gonna do. Um, Can I grab
my God said knock you out? Can I grab the spear and attack?
Just double check and make sure it doesn't say bonus action because you can only
do one of those. But I'm pretty sure on your character sheet it shouldn't.
Listen, smites smites not Smite's not an action, it's just it's just
something you do. Ye. So so then anytime you hit, if you
as long as you have the spell slots. Okay, can I grab the
spear and also attack? No? No? Okay? Cool? Well?
Um hold on, hold on, Now you know something. If it was
your own spear, you're grabbing, but you're pulling it off of him.
So no, that is an action, all right. Okay, that's the
only that's the only option that makes sense. Um, hold on, what's
wait a second, what's the damage for an unarmed strike if you're not a
monk? I believe it's just one D four? Okay, bigger question?
Do you get your proficiency? Yeah, you're not gonna hit through all right,
I'm gonna grab a spear, all right, Gonna grab a spear,
stand over al and basically be like, Okay, man, if you want
to kill people defending slavers, that's up to you. But uh, let's
fucking dance all right. Granted it's having none of this ship. He's coming
after you with that dagger. Metallica, zam, here's Johnny, does it
twenty hit you A twenty will hit me too? Damage. I just keep
eye contact as the knife goes in and pulls out, unblinking, still still
twice as much damage as did to her. Oh God, And finally we
have you stand still lying on the ground as you watch your quote unquote son
get choked. He got choked it out to death. It's unfortunate, that's
true. Ah. Well, are the chances of now to cal has grabbed
a spear of me? Unlocking his manacles so he can actually use it?
You mean, cal Yeah, calm, you'd have to do both his arms
and his and his legs. You can only do one. Uh, I
mean getting over to him is a move action. Um, so yeah,
you can do one, one or the other. I'm not too concerned about
him being able to move so much as I am being able to him being
able to stab people. I think I would think that I would think of
my hands together, I like, even for my hands manicle together, I
can still stab with a spear. I would think, yeah, yeah,
but I don't know what the rules say. Yeah, no, I I
agree. I was I was debating whether to give you a disadvantage, but
I really can't see. I don't think that that would really hinder you.
Yeah, there would be other weapons where I think you would definitely it would
make sense to be like, no, that's that's gonna hold you. But
yeah, that that's one of the few where you can just keep your hands
pretty damn close together. Okay, well, if stands my dad deduction,
if you were throwing, if you were throwing the spear, that might be
different. But just using it to stab now yeah, oh yeah, yeah
that would be that'd be a lot more motion. I'm going to take the
dagger from the fallen God all right, I seem do I have to roll
anything? He's pretty dead. No, it's a it's an action though he
doesn't need it. But I'm going to do that surreptitiously. I still want
to give Musty God people the the perception that I am still having ticket problems.
Roll stealth seventeen stealth. All right, somehow you managed to pull off.
Oh I'm still dying here. Let me borrow this knife. This is
what I build a character for. I'm so glad I got to use him
as intended before we all die. Okay, and uh, I guess we
find out what happens next time? Now is that topping around again? As
the round ends, the door bursts open, several guards standing as standing outside
at the ready, and I believe as I seize him and pointed pink slip,
I believe. Take two. You know, I guess we'll have to
see whether who lives, who dies, and who is redeemed on the next
salty bastards. Until next time, Bye Bye Bye. Authors and Dragons is
brought to under a Creative Commons license, meaning you are free to share this
conterium so long as credit is given to those who created it, which is
us for people you just heard to play the game opening and closing themes performed
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