He was cold cold. That was the namn he was cold. Mine,
what's going on up there? Could be the most important event in history now
I haven't cover that destroy worlds, I said. I hope this is close
to hell. It's all ever again. Hello and welcome to the Tales from
the Dark podcast. I'm your host, Bob. Here's my co host,
Brittany. Hey, guys, what's up. Brittany? How are you doing
today? I am doing good. How are you? I'm doing well.
I got I got back into walking today after a short break, and I
it wasn't It wasn't good for all my big guys out there. You can
do it, but don't take a break. Whatever you do, you're gonna
regret it, like I am right now. And I can already feel the
pain that I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning. That I figured that
like halfway into the first mile. I'm like, you know, if I
could just like freeze myself for two days, I'd probably be okay. Oh
my gosh. But with that being said, before we dive into this episode,
miss Brittany has a little announcement about a long running series here on the
channel that we're bringing back. What is that series, Miss Brittany, I
don't know, do you remember. I think I had some kind of like
really silly name that I think one of our listeners came up with. It
was definitely a bullshit name that I have never been a fan of. I
actually think that the votes were rigged. Yeah, I think so too.
And conveniently enough, it was the last time that I put anything up to
a vote for you guys, because I wanted to go with Strange States for
this series. I still I have a bad memory, and I still remember
at a pure spite that I wanted the series United Strangeness of America to be
called Strange States. So that will be coming back this week or next week,
I'm not sure, but we are bringing it back finally. It's been
a long time since we've done well. I think it's December. Yeah,
And for those asking, it wasn't that anything was wrong. We just kind
of took a break from the series because it seemed like all we were doing
was United Strangeness and it started to lose its luster. Well, that's why
we went to BI weekly, was to try to fill in with more other
types of content throughout the week. But this year has just really kicked our
ass. I mean, as you guys know, we've had you know,
the MPM stuff. We've been doing video editing and narration. We've had a
couple other projects we've worked on behind the scenes. But I'm feeling good.
I feel I feel really good about this. I know we're gonna be very
busy to at least the end of the year. Well, speaking of being
busy, Spooky season is upon us, and we always we go all out
for October. Since the birth of the podcast, that's kind of been our
thing, and I've had a love for Halloween my entire life. It goes
back to goose Bumps Nicke at Night. I don't know if you've watched Are
You Afraid of the Dark. It was it was like a high school show
when I was a kid, So it was one of those where like I
wasn't supposed to be watching it, but I watched it anyway. And then
there was like a more explicit version on MTV for a while. I watched
that, and then Halloween Town kind of Halloweentown cemented my love that and Twitches.
I didn't watch Twitches. I don't think I got into that, but
Halloween Town solidified the aesthetic of Halloween and then the Twins. Okay, thank
you Twin Witches. I guess anyone was wondering. Yeah, phenomenal plot.
Autumn in general is my favorite. It's my favorite time of the year.
It's not too hot, it's not too cold here in Ohio. Masterpiece of
cinema. Okay, is this gonna be? We're actually excited to announce Britney's
new podcast. It's called Britney with Twitches and that's all it is. It's
not Britney Twitching. It's it's it's is it a show or a movie?
At both? I'm going on out, Yes is the answer. Okay,
you're going all out for first guest is actually going to be the costume designer.
So yeah, very excited. No, but speaking of being busy this
Halloween, Tennessee Hawson Legends Expo right around the corner. Guys, you guys
have got to get your tickets October twenty first at the fair Grounds of Nashville.
Tickets are only ten bucks. Here's the way I see it. To
buy Phantom Farm, it's like five dollars. I don't actually know how much
Phantom Farm calls. Tyler takes care of that for us, but Phantom Farm
is five dollars. I make maybe one public appearance a year that's worth at
least two dollars, and sometimes we count those as like random gas gas station
encounters. So we're at seven dollars in value. Eric's gonna be there.
That's fifteen dollars. Now we gotta take ten bucks off because we have to
bring Austin, so we're right around that ten dollars in value. To go
to the Fairgrounds Nashville and not just see us, there's a ton of amazing
creators. The vendorlist is getting bigger and bigger. One of my favorite things
right now, if you guys go to the Tennessee Hawns Legends Facebook page,
they're doing a vendor spotlight and shout out. Every single day I have connected
and seen more cool podcasts, video creators, YouTubers, article writers, and
the other cool thing is like the jewelry and aesthetic creators in the mystical community.
There's a ton of them that are gonna be at this expo, and
it's really cool to see everyone kind of come out in full force not only
support one another, but also put together a kick ass show that goes towards
charity. That's the other big thing that we keep missing out on is this
is going to charity. This is going to go support several great causes that
we are fully behind. And I can't wait to see everyone there. So
get your tickets now. And not only that, but we will be guest
speakers, us and the entire crew of Phantom Farm. We'll be guest speakers
at this show. Yeah. Not only that, but this is the only
show we have on our roster for the foreseeable future. Yeah. And this,
no, this is unconfirmed. I had to talk with Eric. I
want to do some kind of like a dunk pit for Tyler Terry I'm talking
about, but instead of water, we're just throwing balls at Tyler. And
if it happened, you know, whatever happens happens. That's the way that
I kind of look at this. I'm confirmed, but it's in progress.
Eric, get back to us. I sent you six emails of voicemail and
a carrier pigeon. You're kind of ignoring me right now, you see,
we toppen Eric. No, I'm extremely excited. And again, like Britney
said, we don't do a whole lot of these public appearances, and it's
gonna be one of the like rare times we're gonna be out and about and
doing our thing. So come see us hang out. It's gonna be a
great time. With that being said, Miss Brittany, how many nine one
one calls have you made in your life that you know of? In my
life, I usually if I have an issue its own, I only have
to call the non emergency number. But the only time I ever remember calling
nine one one is I was on my walk home and I accidentally dialed nine
one one. It was dark. Uh this was before I had a car
and I was working, and uh yeah, I thought I was gonna get
arrested for accidentally calling nine one one. You were, I was the ran.
Weren't for your arrest out right now? This is actually what when I
hear them banging on the door. Oh, did you have that annoying kid
in every class that every time the sirens went on to be like, oh
they're coming to get me? Yea, I was that kid. So I'm
also excited to announce the new co host that fails from the dark. It's
the three and a half foot tall plague doctor Spicable and in our studio and
small cut and small Cat. I need to get that man his own podcast.
I think I still do that to you though, Like when we hear
sirens, I'm like, oh, they're coming for you. It's yeah,
I don't know what it is. It is what it is. It's it's
a what do they call it, the advanced placement class. It's it's those
specifically, So it makes perfect sense. No, So the most recent nine
one one call, we talked about this on the show? I don't think.
So what what most recent nine one one call? Well, we've only
had to call the cops like three times in the past months. Have we
talked about this on the show yet. No, because we've been doing interviews.
Okay, So I like to go walk at night consistently, just because
a it's cool. For a minute. We had like, oh yeah,
we have a whole anime arc for them. Yeah. We had several hundred
degree days here. Commidity was ridiculous, and then I decided to get in
shape in the midst of a heat wave because that's just how my motivation truly
works. So I got pretty serious about it. I walked for a little
bit. I actually ordered walking shoes, I ordered tennis shoes for the first
time in a decade. That's not You can ask Brittany, this is not
an exaggeration. I don't wear tennis shoes. I either were boots or flip
flops, and it was a struggle to get you to wear flip flops.
I want I want the audience to know that if I had to have bought
you those flip flops in Florida, you would still just be wearing boots everywhere.
I have these awesome swordfish dad flops and they're fine, They're amazing.
No, what's hilarious is Tyler reminded me the other day, is like,
hey, I remember when you used to be like super skinny and you just
didn't wear shoes ever, And it was like a core memory unlocked. MC.
Yeah, I forgot. I was really against shoes in high school.
I was that fucking weirdo. Anyway, I mean I am too a bit.
Just yeah, it's from the Mountain saying you have hobbit feed. It's
fine anyway, I'm gonna kick your ass, all right, keep going.
So I like to walk at night, and there's a park relatively near our
house, and some of the listeners know about this already. Because I sent
them the video because I wanted to approve I wasn't crazy. I started walking
at night because it was a little cooler. And there's another mom that walks
occasionally who is like not, I've never talked to this woman, So I
have this whole relationship in my head of like why she does what she does,
and I have no idea because I've never really spoken to those But she
used to walk her in the day when I did. Then she started walking
in the evening, so she for all I know, she might have started
walking at night to get away from me. That that could be a whole
side conversation. But we were walking and all of a sudden, I see
here kind of take off running out of the park. Now, she's usually
a pretty quick walker like she and the time it takes me to like one
lap, Sho'll pass me and then be like a quarter of the way through
the track. But I've never really seen her run. So she takes off
running through the park, and I'm like, what the fuck, Like what
am I missing? I start looking around and there's this gentleman in the park,
no shirt, with this like baton bowstaff thing, just like waving it
around. Whatever think about like a giant old man's walking stick. Yeah,
and he's definitely kind of creepy. And actually I think I'm kind of missed
telling the story, but there was a portion there was another time where we
were walking and he was hiding behind the trees. I think it was actually
this time when he was hiding behind the trees and like being just soup.
And again when I say it's dark over there, there's like one single street
light and the rest of its pitch black. So he was like crawling on
the ground hiding trees. Yeah, like low, crawl all the way to
the ground, going tree, you treat a tree. And he scared this
woman off, so I called the cops. The cops come and they talked
to the guy and they asked him directly, like what were you doing.
He goes, I was gonna scare him. I was gonna hop out from
behind the tree and scare him. And the cop asked him, what would
you have done if he grabbed a hold of you. There is no one
else out here? Are you two? He goes, Oh, people don't
do that. He wouldn't have done that, And in the back of my
mind, I'm like, I was gonna beat the brakes off you, sir,
because you gotta understand a lot of times I'm a fucking weirdo my headphones.
I told I don't think I've even told you this. There's a lot
of times where I'm walking out of my raycons and and I'm listening to like
horror sound tracks. This is not I'm not making this up. You can
look at my YouTube his tree and I'll type in like the scariest sound effects
of all time outside and I'll be walking around listening to this in the pitch
black because I'm fucking weird. I like to be afraid. So if you
jump out at me and I'm listening to the scariest horror track, two k's
there's an asshopping coming somebody's way. And this isn't a tough guy thing,
it's a if I'm afraid enough, there's gonna be a problem. So I've
had to call the cops in this guy three times now for doing the same
thing. Sometimes we'll just sit under the spotlight and just do bow staff moves
at me and yeah, like martial arts stuff. I have videos of this
guy just just staring me down, doing martial arts moves at me. At
midnight for no fucking reason. Initially we thought maybe this is like a mental
health crisis situation. The comps and I know he's fine, he's just a
little weird. I'm love average intelligence, he's not homeless. He just does
this and I'm like, well, I'm fucking weird too, but I'm not
doing this to people. And they've just kind of like let it go,
like, oh, we'll talk to him and he shouldn't come back. He
comes back almost every night. I think at this point it's a showdown type
of situation between me and this guy. So if you guys suddenly get like
an invitation for tickets to a random park in Ohio, show him, it's
it's gonna go down. But apart from that, I've through my job.
I've had to call on line one one a few different times. One comes
in mind. I think I've told this in the Security Guard Horror Stories video.
We had a truck driver and I might miss tell the stories. It's
been years now. We had a truck driver come up to the guard check
and tell the guards, Hey, the girl in my truck is dead,
and that was it. My guards call me, she's crying. I'm like
Okay, where what's the punchline? Like, I'm not understanding she She's like,
no, no, no, what I say, Call the fucking cops.
So we end up calling the cops. Well, initially we were under
the impression this was the guy's wife. It wasn't his wife at all,
because the first thing he does after the ambulance comes and takes her away is
he comes back up and says, hey, I can still pick my load
up tonight, right, Like this doesn't affect check in a haunted truck.
Yeah. Well, then we found out that we're pretty sure that this young
lady was a lot lizard. If you're not familiar with it, that is,
just look it up. But that that was pretty crazy. And then
we've had a few I've told them head break in story another crazy one.
So that's where I am with nine one one calls I've had to do.
We've had to do them in the highway a few different times, but we
try to be super respectful. Oh my god. The Yeah, I was
driving home one night and uh, it's like an hour drive coming back home
and there was a car going to complete This has actually happened a few times
in Ohio. Yeah, I've really happened to me too. Actually, yeah,
I've literally never had this happen anywhere else my entire life down south.
It's an Ohio thing, I'm convinced. For those of you who may not
be familiar, Britney's from western North Carolina. Yeah. So this guy is
literally driving in the wrong side of a highway. I almost hit him.
This has happened to me twice actually, and I think it's happening once.
Yeah. People, and it's always when we're not together, which, like
you could say, like, well, three is not that many. You're
right, it's not if we're talking like times you went to the bathroom today.
But like when it comes to people driving on the wrong side of the
interstate, that's kind of fucking alarming. Yeah. One of them was in
the fast lane and I was lucky enough to see them and get over because
I would have had a head on collision with them. Another one was on
the by like the exits where the exits are on the right hand side.
He was on that side of the lane. So yeah, I've had to
call the cops on that a couple of times. But fucking people figure about
interstates, guys. But the thing is like these may sound crazy, but
I know you've got some stories you're about to read that are even crazier.
And I have some some YouTube clips i'm gonna I'm gonna play for you guys
that I okay, And I had to preface this. I am ninety nine
percent sure all of the clips were going to play on YouTube are real.
The problem is there's currently three television shows, one on Netflix that's something in
par or something like that. Those have kind of taken over YouTube. So
I had to really dig in the archives. Like I said, I'm ninety
nine percent sure the videos that I play are going to be true factual nine
on one calls, but it's the Internet, so you never really know.
But what do you got to start us off with? All Right? So
the first one is like a actual script from a nine one one call.
Basically, Okay, this is the person reporting it. I'd like to call
in and report a fire. And then basically the background is this person lived
in a fire prone area nine one one. Where is it located, sir,
on the hillside, just east of Link City nine on one. Can
you be more specific? Yes, Oh god, it's getting bigger. The
whole top of the hill is on fire now nine to one, sir,
stay calm, we're sending someone out. It's getting bigger. Doesn't anybody see
this? It's lighting up the sky around it. It's huge. Oh god,
oh oh oh wait, sir, I am so sorry. I'm not
usually out at this time of night. I just got off work late.
That's that's the sun. Oh my god. I am so so sorry for
wasting your time. There is no fire, that's just the sun rising.
Never mind, I'm really embarrassed, as you should be. That's fine,
sir. I will cancel a call and thank you for calling. I mean,
good on him for being proactive in a potentially life threatening situation. Bad
on him for not knowing what the fucking sun was. I haven't you ever
liked, just been. I can't even think of a time in my life
where I would ever mistake the sun for a fire. Okay, I can,
of course you can. I was I was pretty young, and I
was okay, when I was younger, I liked I like to have a
cold drink every now and then, uh huh. And I had a boatload
of cool drinks one evening okay, and it was I don't know, like
five in the morning. Something like, I don't it was. It was
early early, Okay. I come outside and this is again, this is
Sydney, Ohio. This is not We're not in some fucking war base,
and I can stander something crazy. This was Sidney, Ohio, a town
known for industry in a really weird downtown. So I walk outside and I
was very confused because I'm like, oh, I'm seeing the sun, but
not like the Sun's sun, but like the sun, like the Oppenheimer's sun.
I had this this brief moment where I was convinced that someone had nuked
Sidney, Ohio, and that you are seeing the aftermath. Well, what
was nuts? Is? The first thing I did was I think. I
went to Facebook to see if anyone else had been seeing this. And then
I did what every Ohio and does. I typed in whiotv dot com,
which is our local news station, and I'm like, well, if they
haven't reported it yet, it's probably fine, and I proceeded to go back
to sleep. Oh my god, every man has been that drunk at least
once in their life. Okay, I've got one. I want to read
to you real fast, though, because this is fucking pre law enforcement.
I understand, and I believe every word of this. Okay, I had
a drunk person call to report being harassed. Truth was, he was being
arrested by our officers for throwing pizza at people. All I heard in the
background was one of my officers saying to him that better not be our dispatcher
on the phone, followed by some muffled talking and my officer taking the phone
and saying he will be taking a ride with us now and hanging up.
I still laugh about that to this day. That is I won thousand percent.
I could be on both sides of this. That's the thing. If
I'm in New Orleans, I could see this being Look, these fucking assholes
won't leave me alone. I'm just trying to throw my pizza. All I'm
doing is celebrating Marty Graw and someone gave me Crystal Burger. I had onions.
I'm not responsible for what happened afterwards. I specifically said no onions.
I still remember how drunk we got when we went into that Crystal and I
was like, yes, I want everything. The first time we went to
Bourbon Street is one of my favorite memories of you, because we had a
conversation in the hotel. We're gonna have a few drinks. We're not gonna
get too drunk. Okay, we're outside waiting for the Uber. Yeah,
we're just gonna have a good time, have a few drinks. It's gonna
be fine. I said, Yep, it's bourbon treat. We're experiencing the
culture New Orleans. Seventeen minutes later, your shit faced, like, bang
bang, How far was that? Do you remember the Walgreens? Yeah,
okay, the Crystal Burgers buy the Walgreens. How far away would you say
that is? Babe? We can see the sign. It's right. I
think we should go to Crystal Burger. I'm pretty sure. And again I
grew up calling it crystals because my dad's from Tennessee. It's just crystals,
Brittany, it's that good Crystal Burger. Crystal Burger. Right now, I
really think we should have Crystal Burger. And we go there and I'm having
a conversation with the security guard trying to get into a fucking job, and
you're like, I'm like, get five crystals, Yes, get your crystals,
that's fine. How many are you gonna get? And I'm like trying
to talk to this young man and like influence his career choice, and You're
like, this is the best fucking crystal burger I've ever seen in my life.
I'm gonna get I'm gonna get five crystals. No, it was I
did not that first night we ever went to Bourbon Street. I didn't make
it all the way down the strip because normally what people do is they walk
up and down Bourbon Street. No, I didn't even make it all the
way down Bourbon Street before I was absolutely shit faced. Yeah. Well,
here's here's the part that Brittany loves to leave out. We get back to
the hotel room and I'm like, honey, are you hungry? Because now
there's if anyone who's been in New Orleans, they know there's a delay from
calling your uber to getting your uber and getting to your hotel. That delay,
depending on the time of night, can be sixty to ninety minutes.
So it's not like we went from Crystals straight to the hotel. It was
Crystals that walked a bit more than Wait. Yeah, So we get back
to the hotel and I'm like, you want, like I saw great Hamburger
place in Dornash there's nine hundred and thirty restaurants no, there's more than in
fucking New Orleans. People are like, well it's four am, Bob,
twenty year open. No seven hundred are open at four am. So I'm
like, what do you want? And you tell me this this crazy burger
order thirty dollars a piece for burgers, no no fixings, no sides,
thirty bucks. I order it. I get to the hotel. It gets
to the hotel, I'm I think I'm watching like Twilight on the hotel TV
because that's what I always do. And you're fucking just out just and I'm
like, Babe, our foods here. Only time in our entire relationship I
couldn't wake you up for food for food. And I'm like, Babe,
our foods here. And You're like, oh, okay, Crystal Burger,
you're snoring up a storm. I set it next to you and I open
it up and I'm like waffing, I'm waffing it to you and you're just
like out fucking cold. So I'm pissed at this point because like, it
wasn't a burger I would eat, So I'm like smelling your burger all night
long. I'm like, she's gonna wake up the middle of night month this
thing you wake up at like eleven am the next day and you're like,
babe, what is in a very condescending I told you thank you for ordering
me the burger, and that I was sorry that I didn't need it.
He told me that after the inquisition, what this was sitting next to you
on the on the fucking bedside table. Anyway, what else do we have?
Nine one one call? Wise, a quite pregnant woman calls to say
that her doctor told her to refrain from having sex for the rest of the
pregnancy, but she didn't understand why. I looked at her file and it
saw that she was having pre term contractions. So I explained that sexual activity
can cause contractions, so it was safer to abstain so the baby could stay
inside as long as possible. I don't think this would be a nine one
one call then, mightbe like, just to the doctor in general, So
it was safer to abstain so the baby could stay inside as long as possible.
Then she tearfully exclaimed, how but how will I feed the baby?
I'm sorry, ma'am, could you repeat that? How will I feed the
baby if I can't have sex? The patient was convinced that her baby was
living off her boyfriend's semen and that it would starve if they stopped having sex.
Hey, I got this thing. I have to go do that.
That's not this. So it's been great, guys. I'm sorry. Is
there Please tell me there's not more? I explained the umbilical cord, but
she refused to believe me until I asked her about single moms and other examples.
After a moment of silence, she thanked me and started to hang up
the phone, but not before I heard her screaming her boyfriend's name. That
man had a good thing going for a while there. That's incredible. First
off, hats off to that man. I would kill you. That's pure
masculine ingenuity. I would kill you. Second off, have you seen the
movie Idiocracy? Because this is how exactly how it starts. Okay, I
know you got one or two more you want to read. I have to
read these two, do you real quick? And they're gonna get into the
actual calls, all right? So one of this first one is just like,
why are people people? The second one is I'm pretty sure you made
this call. The first one says I had a lady trying to call an
ambulance because she opened a packets Romamossa from Amazon at home, and she was
afraid that her kid was about to have a major allergic reaction from the packing
peanuts. The kid was allergic to peanuts, and when her kid mentioned what
they were called, she freaked out and called us, Ah, I mean,
you can't make this up. The other one, I'm pretty sure,
was Brittany Caller. A deer just swim across the river behind my house.
Me, okay, well, I'm worried it might be cold. Well,
there's nothing we can do about a deer being cold. Didn't it run off
after swimming in the river. Well, yeah, it's a deer. Well
him, if it's a wild anim I guess it's gonna be fine. Okay,
if you're sure, And then she hung up. I could see that
being. That would never be me. I would call just to try and
get get some other cute animals warm. But you know that's that's not relevant
here to this conversation. Back to the we're back to the burger ing position
all over again for the Great Burger Inquisition. Look, that's the next T
shirt right there. All right, So before we get into the video.
I got one more. No, I'm on one. Do you need assistance
or not? I'm on one. Where do you need assistance? At the
convenience store? This guy won't sell me beer? Okay, why not?
I can't show him my ID because I'm not twenty one. Without an ID,
the clerk cannot sell to you, especially if you're under age. But
the other clerks let me bribe them before. I told him him that,
and he won't take my bribe and sell to me. Make him take my
bribe. We won't force the clerk to accept your bribe and definitely won't let
him sell to a minor. Do you want to wait there and I can
have an officer come talk to you in person. Yeah, I will sit
outside and wait for you. That's I would love to have been a fly
on the fucking liquor store wall when that cop showed up, because you know
one that kid sat there knowing he was right. I actually have one more
I got read to you because this is all right. The best story I
have is a guy who called about a bobcat in front of the library.
He called up out of breath and said there was a wildcat intimidating people so
they could not enter or exit the building. Yeah, fairly, I was
fairly close. I started to run over. I asked if anyone was injured,
and he said no. I was expecting a huge group of people held
up at the entrance by a huge cat hissing at everyone. I told him
to keep away from it and stay on the line. When I got there,
I found a town abby cat perched on a bench. I verified the
collar and the cat he called about. I went over to the cat with
him and started pet started to pet him. He rolled over and let me
scratch his belly. The guy was shocked and said, oh, someone has
domesticated it. These are the people that have a right to vote, ladies
and gentlemen. But on the opposite, on the opposite end of the spectrum.
You remember that video we watched of that woman who brought home that bob
cat and thought it was a cat. So that happened again recently. Are
you kidding me? So a woman, this is an La, she's an
avid hiker and she's a known Karen apparently. So I'm following this arc very
loosely because she kind of her mom's question. She deleted her Facebook group kind
of turned into a whole thing a Facebook profile. So she brings home a
coyote coyote pup, She washes it, she goes and gets it food.
It won't eat the food, and she posts in like every cool la Facebook
group that has dogs, and it was something like, one of you insufferable
dog owners couldn't be bothered to keep your dog on a lead. It got
it got away from you, and I found it on this hiking trail this,
and she posted. She had the audacity to post the picture of the
coyote and the receipt, saying, in order to get your puppy back,
you have to pay me for the supplies I bought your dog. Oh my
god, I think it's a female, but it nipped at me when I
tried to check. You need to teach your dogs and manners. Everyone thinks
it's a troll, and then people start pointing out no, this woman has
a history of like taking people's animals when they're not looking, and then like
holding them for ransom. Basically, she did it with a fucking coyote.
I had that kyote pissed on everything it did, because that's what coyotes do.
They just start pissing and they every stop everywhere. Side notes, speaking
of the things, I want to give a quick recommendation, I don't give
me any media recommendations out there. To all the talesmith Ark listeners, go
to Netflix and watch. I think you should leave with Tim Robinson. Oh
my god, if you ever wanted to know what an unrestrained like Bob would
be, it is a mix between Tim Dillon and this guy's show. Thank
you. I appreciate that both are both their comedic geniuses. And one percent.
If you ever like stepped away from Tales from the Dark because god forbid,
you were pregnant or you felt down the stairs, something bad happens to
you, are you telling me your plan? Percent just doing fake business for
hours on the podcast. I'm setting up several multi level empires and I'm getting
all kinds of fake business clients. You yes, have to if you guys
don't want to talk about, just google Tim Dylon fake business. But no,
the reason needed to watch, I think you should leave. There's this
fucking hilarious clip. I cannot remember the name. I think it's like the
night Robert Poulson's or something came to life, or no, the day that
someone someone murdered me. And it's these guys in the studio and they're like,
yeah, we're looking for something a little bit more like raw at with
more emotion. They start to play this like pretty like country in school country
Western song and the bassis Tim loses his ship and starts from skeletons coming to
life? How how the bones are their money? And it's it's I cannot
do it justice. I will post it in the Facebook group. It is
I haven't laughed at hard and so fucking long, and you still listen to
that song every chance I get, And there's a hilarious what's funny is?
I bring this to Tyler Terry because me and Tyler have very similar humor.
I get no real reaction, so I'm like, what the fuck now?
It's Tyler over text. You never really know. Well, as fate shall
have it, Tyler found this. Have you ever seen the the Halloween decorations
that sing to each other? Tyler had posted that on his Twitter X.
I don't know what the fun to call it now? He posted it there
with that exact song, and that's what I know. Tyler and I are
just link somewhere at the comedic funny Bone for life. Okay, so let's
get onto some of these YouTube calls. So this first one, I have
to give props to nine one one calls with a Z smaller channel. It
was posted a little while ago. But like I said at the head of
the episode, there's not a whole lot on YouTube that's not either like news
clips discussing it and then little blurbs or the like Netflix joke show. Yeah,
so we're gonna kind of cut this up a little bit, but these
are five of the dumbest nine one one calls of all time. Are we
ready? Somebody's really drunk driving down? What's where are they going? They
are going towards Grant and towards Sale as well towards Graham. Okay, you're
behind them or no? I am them? You am them? Yes,
I am them? Okay, So you want to call and report that you're
driving drunk? Yeah, I mean promps too, were for turning yourself in?
Yeah, because drunk driving is no joke. You shouldn't do it.
No, you should not. But I am them. That needs to be
on every T shirt out there. And that's it. All right, Let's
let's let's hear what else happens. Okay. What's your name? Mary?
Okay? Hold on one second, Mary? Okay, okay. Are you
still driving right now? Yes? Do you want to stop driving before you
get in an accident? Yes, I will stop. Okay, you're gonna
stop right now? Yep, I will stop right now. Okay, just
hold on a second. Okay, Okay, I'm stopping. Okay, just
saying on the phone. Okay, okay, I'm still there, sir.
Yes, I'm sorry. What that what's your last name? Mary? Are
you stopped right now? Do you say? Should I turn my car off
and to turn flashers off? Yep? That's fine if you want to turn
it off and turn a flasher's on, so then we can find you.
Where are you coming from, Mary? I came from niel Ville. I'm
come up. When you were drinking in niel Zell, I was drinking all
over. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be driving. White people who get the
call in on themself, not many, but I guess it's better than getting
in an accident and killing yourself or somebody else. No, I don't want
to hurt anybody. I'm drunk. Magine little jail. What's that the like?
Go to jail? I guess if you're over the legal limit. I
mean, well, I know I am. It's really fucked. I'm thinking
you calling on myself. I think somebody come up, like right there,
a little pickre. Frank Mary three zero, a little pickre. You see
somebody coming? You said, yeah, but think they're going right by?
Oh WAYMNT. Oh no, they're gold Splashers. They're here. Okay,
we'll let you go and speak with them. Okay, thank you. Forty
nine year old Mary straight blew a point one seven, nearly twice the legal
limit for driving. Deputy's ticketed her for o WI, her first offense.
Deputy say what she called? She was about two and a half miles from
home, please sire. Okay, before we get into the next one.
Again, kudos for her for calling. Yeah seriously, but I love when
the cops showed up, She's like, oh there they are, Like she
like she should know, like she didn't know what was gonna happen when she
called time on one for herself. I mean, she was drunk, but
you shouldn't be doing that in the first place. But again, kudos to
her for stopping before. Yeah, but I've only happened. I've never been
so drunk that I thought to call the cops of myself for anything. I
mean, if I hadn't got those Crystal burgers at night, that you probably
would have called the college. God. That would have been a fucking nine
one one call to have. That would have been our intro to every podcast
forever. All right, let's let's keep going. I'm be hones Holies where
okayle com mcdona fall delaware. What's going on there? I order the full
pie, chicken nuggets would have small fly as we could say that they didn't
have any chicken nugget. That's why I I want to make deva the small
flying the peopled my lamp. Anything else fought the menu because you can't rEFInd
me the refect say out of the middle, and that phone would just give
me all my money back if you so much. You can't give me my
money back to you. If you would have to have pizza something, there's
no manager there. Now you already spoke with the manager. Okay. First
off, kudos to the operator for not being like, what the fuck is
your problems? Seriously? If you call nine one one, because I mean
I get it. If it's like a four thousand dollars like phone call or
receipt or something, and you have all your ducks in a row, like
I gave you being angry, but to call nine one one? What is
wrong with you? And what kills me is I feel like it's it's no
matter what school you come from across the country, the importance of nine one
one is is iron into your head at a fairly young age. Oh yeah,
and you should know the reason that people call nine one one is usually
for emergencies. Oh. We had entire programs to come to the school and
tell us about emergency operations, firefighters, police, We had programs to like,
have you know nine one one memorize obviously, but your own phone numbers
for emergencies and stuff like that. I just can't believe, for one the
confidence on this woman that she is so convinced she's in the right that she
went straight to the police. Now again, good on her for having enough
I guess enough faith the police to fix problems. That's good, but that's
not what they're there for. Yeah, but we need to Maybe we started
the manager or a shift lead, and then we work away to Ronald McDonald,
and then from Ronald we go to the Hamburgler because we know who's in
charge, and then maybe the chief of fire, and if he can't help
you, at that point, the chief of fire will all absolutely understand the
importance of having your chicken nuggets exactly. All right, Well, let's let's
see where this goes to manifest. You're saying something about she just can't find
me my mona something, but she don't have on aminga one. I want
to want a chicken leggats because that's what she didn't have that makeable as if
to find the different I mean she came to that was just giving all my
money vas and I don't want anything. As she's telling that she can't re
find my money house, she don't have what I want and she came at
something I don't want the emergency, Yeah, can you please send Do I
think I'm heaving an overdose? That a still as my wife. Okay,
so we're gonna get into the next nine on one call. But I have
to give her some credit. She never backed down. No, she stuck
to her guns. She said, I want my chicken nuggets or I want
nothing. Now here's the thing. I have been on the receiving end of
several shitty door dash McDonald's orders in my time, but again, I never
once. Now I might go leave a bad yeop review threatened to, you
know, throw some molotov cocktails. But I'm not calling the cops because they
have more important things to do, like the guy practicing karate at the point,
I know, I know where my taxpayer dollars are going. Okay,
so I see it every night. So for this, this next one,
it's just fucking hilarious. If you guys missed the beginning here, they call
the Dearborn Heights Police Department and he says, yes, can you please send
rescue? I think I'm having an overdose and so is my wife, So
you Okay, this is some serious stuff. Let's see where this goes.
Okay, you and your wife? Yes, over knows of what marijuana,
but I don't know if they had something in it. Okay, can you
please send rescues? Okay? How old are you? I'm twenty eight,
twenty nine years old and my wife is uh twenty six? Please come,
yes, please, have you guys been drinking? Also? What have you
guys been drinking today? Too? No, that's it? You know,
is there any weapons in the house, No, please come, okay,
well away, and you guys, are you guys? Like, did you
guys have fever? Anything? No? I'm just I think we're dying.
Okay, how much did you guys have I don't know. We made brownies
and I think we're dead. I really do. Okay, how much did
you put in the brownies? I don't know. I was in bad Who
made the brownie? My wife and I did the dispatches out here, trying
to get like a recipe? Who made that? Where can I buy that?
What kind of butter did you use? What's the ratio butter to flower
to weed? There's every stoner out there that I've ever talked to has always
had that I thought I was dead moment. And there's this hilarious Reddit thread
that I read a while ago where this guy said, I fucked up.
I took four five hundred milligram edibles. Oh my god, you know two
two thousand milligrams. I'm pretty sure. I'm not very up to date on
this stuff, but I think, but I think like fifteen milligrams ten is
like that's a dose that you start to feel something or you don't. I
don't know how this works, but he said, I took what do I
do? I tried to make myself throw up, and I started to panic
about throwing up so I couldn't do it. And some some guy said,
I hate to break it to your chief. You gotta go outside, hug
the ground, hope you don't fall off. This is about to be one
of those really fucking hard lifels. And I'm but every stone I've ever talked
to you, I have because I've been enamored by this, like that you
can't overdose on marijuana, like it's never happened before. And I think Rogan
had a someone had a stand up thing is Yeah, the reason I know
you can't is I fucking tried. Do you know it wasn't. I think
this is a TikTok comed And he's like, do you think I fucking wake
up? And I look like this on purpose. I'm doing everything I can
to make it feel like an accident so my parents don't question what happened.
But it's such a weird thing. But again, it's such a demon nice
thing. Growing up, I was under the impression you hit one joint,
it's over. You're dead. You're dead, instant death. In the discussion
and again, I understand the fet and all conversation. That's not we're talking
Snoop dogg Use, that's what we're talking about here, the old Willie Nelson.
Nothing but I just this fucking guy. I you can hear the paranoia.
It's so raw, like I think we're dead. We're actually dead,
we're dying, we're actually ghosts. Right now, record this for science.
This is a spearbox. All right, let's go. Okay, she's on
the living room ground right now. She's barely breathing, I think, so
okay, can you look pardon? Can you look? Yeah? I could
feel like she's laying right down in front of me. Time is going by
really really really really slow. Okay, Well, I'm on the fall with
you, and you don't do you? Do you know how much I mean
you bought and put in the brownies? Pardon? How much did you buy?
I don't just please send rescue now on the way, but I'm trying
to figureut how much you bought and put into the brownies? Say, it's
probably like a quarter owns total, a corner owns tongs and the brownies.
Did you guys eat all the rownies? Yeah? We did, okay,
And you eat all the Mohammed and in big Patch and realle batch. It
was it was a quarter own. Okay? But brownie wise, how many
pieces do you guys think you guys had? I don't know. I probably
had like a small chunk. Please come, it's what time is it?
It's nine thirty seven? When did you guys y u lassie? The brownies?
Probably like an hour and a half ago. Okay? Is your wife
so? Is your wife so Bretha? Yeah? She is? She shouldn't.
She's kneeling down in front of me. Okay, I know we have
to wait. Okay. And is she Stacy Santa? Yeah? What's your
name? My name is Edward? Your nworth Santa? Okay? And did
you guys take any other sort of drugs? Do you know of? Pardon?
Do you know? Did you guys do anything else today? Beside marijuana?
No? That's it, But I don't know what was it the marijuana
could have been there could have been something in the marijuana. Okay. Are
you guys any sort of prescription though? Do you guys take any sort of
on the medication? No? I don't. My wife takes uh viking in
though. Did she take any today? Uh? No? I don't think.
So, okay, where's the Viking in? Again? Keep in mind
he's convinced he's dead. There's a conversation, and again this just sounds like
one of those hard life lessons. He's just he's just gonna be a very
hard life someone they have show. But yeah, he's got to figure this
out on his zone. But the thing is, if it's in Dearborn Heights,
that's in Michigan. It's been legal in Michigan for quite some time.
Now. This video was seven years ago, so I don't know if it's
been legal in Michigan for seven years. So regardless, he's probably in some
hot water. Oh yeah, let's let's see how this ends. Like it
in is I don't know, it's in our medicine cabinet. I mean,
how many does she taken on a regular basis? Yeah? How many does
she taken a regular basis? Two or eight? Like, I don't know,
like five a day? Please? He takes about five an a yeah
are you calling? Yeah? Not on the way and they've been in him
off for two minutes. It's now nine thirty eight. Okay, she takes
about how many? Eight at five a Day's how many does she take an
a. She takes like I don't know, like six six an a like
five a day. I don't know if she got into a car accident.
Dear, one heights last year, okay, and you don't know how many
she's taken today? No, Okay, is the Is there any animals in
the house? Is there anyone? I'll put them away for you, okay?
Is yeah? The front door is open, come here, part I
pardon? Yeah, the court plight is on are any weapons in the house?
You already asked me that, And what'd you say? Uh? Yeah,
well no there is? Where is that? Okay? So he changed?
He changes a shitty with her first again, This is a dead man
talking. This is the absolute this is the best estis method session we've ever
discussed here on the show. Screw the documentary. I mean, this is
all the evidence we need. I just I love how he got condescending with
her. She she I can hear how fed up she is with this conversation.
But I get it's I mean, she has patience because I would have
been like, you're not fucking dying, deal with it. If we're not
coming, I'd be the worst nime in one off her ever I didn't do
it, all right, it's in my call. It's in my closet.
Is that the majo? Yeah, in the front bedroom. Where's that fat
right now? I'm away, sir, do you guys? No, this
is the first time we've ever done it. Former Corporal Edward Sanchez made this
nine one one call from his home in Dearborn Heights, Michigan, on April
twenty first, two thousand and six. It was a car resigned during an
internal investigation and then was not prosecuted. Oh my god, has realized that
he was not dead and time returned to its normal base. Oh my fucking
god. I was not expecting that flat to it. No, I am
now questioning if this is real, and if it is, it's a home,
he said. After an internal investigation, he resigned. Yeah, but
Reno nine one says dumb shit like that too, So I don't I don't
know who to trust. Totally shit. That is incredible. Just got so
juicys. Do you have any guts? You already asked me that, but
I'm gonna tell you a different answer. Fitch, God, how dare you?
We're literally dying from these marijuana brownies? I took two bites out of
a quarter of an ounce an entire batch. Again, I don't know if
that. Someone tell me if that's a lot, please, because I don't.
I don't know. I can tell you when a quarter of an ounce
a sugar looks like Probably I gave in detail. I'm fucking confused. So
we don't live in in Europe? Someone we use freedom metric here? Use
it or get outs? No? No, seriously, though, let me
know if that's a lot and if that's enough to warrant this type of a
response, or is this just like a newbie who bit off more than you
can chew figuratively and literally? All right, I think we have one more
in this video, with a couple more I want to get to before the
episode's over. God damn, this is getting bid fire medic. Believe no,
ma'am, I done. I don't have an emergency to police officers.
Just off my house, just maundered. I get the name place? Was
it just a music turning down? Here's the kid's cup? I seen it
got down? How long? I just want to know his name. It's
gonna come very often. A good looking man comes at your doorsteps. Did
you go them back my way? You need them to come back there?
Oh I'd like that. Yeah, why do you need them to come back
their phone? Because I have an emergency? I don't think of something.
He's cute? Would you come back? I think your partners from back my
way? Would you? Okay? And what is the reason my dog just
flame it on? My dog? No? Save the music? And the
music was too loud. You need to talk about the noise complaint as well,
exactly hold on to his mother. Thank you? Then who end up
having the loud noise? Oh? I guess I'm the one who had a
loud noise to offer to come to my house just music and work out to
loud music. Okay? And then what do you need the officers to do?
I mean, is you have another noise complaint? I guess so okay?
And who where's the money? I'm just gonna be on It's okay.
I just thought it was cute. I'm forty five years old and I'd like
to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that
without calling nine to one one the fucking day. And I love that she
wrote honey like that is the most Karen bullshit. It's so condescend I hope
they come back and mace that. Look. I did not ever egg one
police. Nonsense. But if anyone needs maced, it's this woman right here,
because she was so funny. It was it's the confidence that she's like,
oh this is I'll make something up just just getting back here. He's
cute. My fucking god. I hate people. This is why I don't.
This is why I don't leave the house unless I have to. Right
here. I know this is not absolutely a way, shape or form an
emergency, but if you would give the officers my phone number day and ask
him to come back, than I know they have terrible lots of things to
do in Aroa. Would you mind, I'll give her the message to call
you. Thank you very much. The twelve year old is completely out of
controller. I can't. I cannot believe that someone is. I would I
would have the retirement home caller. No, you have them call you give
her. Do you know what the rejection hotline is? Yes, give her
that phone number. Fuck that bitch, that bitch. I can't, Okay,
I think there's I think this is actually the last one in this video,
and then we have some other like ridiculous ones. You guys have to
fucking hear all right. I can't physically if she's the biggest I am,
I can't control us. Okay, did you want us to come over and
shoot her? Are you there? I say, okay, that okay.
He says that's a joke, but he presented it like it was an option.
If if so, what is this dispatcher's phone number? I have a
karate guy. You know what? Yeah? That you will fuck oh boy?
Because I understand this because like I grew up in a house with like
sisters who were violent towards my parents. I don't remember a lot of it,
but like I remember getting bad like pretty consistently, and how fast it
went from like yelling to physical violence. I cannot imagine being a parent in
that situation. And the first thing that dispatcher says is do you want us
to come shoot her? I hope this guy was fired. Argue, what
is your name? Mike Forbs? Okay, that's not funny at all.
I'm going to follow a formal complaint, but I don't blame you a bit.
What the fuck? My only thing is is I now I can tell
you from experience. Some dispatchers dispatches in general are usually extremely short staffed,
they work very long hours, and they're often treated like absolute shit. That's
still unacceptable. I agree. Does that Does that mean that you can say
something like that? No, but but I can't work in the nine one
one center. I can tell you that for free. No, okay.
So the funny thing is I put these all together. These are all relatively
short that we're gonna end on. This one is just says raw waffle nine
one one call. This could be about anything, and I'm excited to see
what the hell this one's actually about? All right? Is the one year
a feller? Yes, ma'am, Okay, what's going on there? This?
This? I guess he worked here on whatever. They gave me some
raw waffles, and I tall him I don't want the waffles till he take
it off my bill he's oh, I can't take nothing, I feel bill
man. But you saw me something that was fun cook. Oh my god.
I love this woman. She is telling it how it is you sold
me something uncooked, you son of a bite. Holy shit. This is
like the McDonald's call all over again. If it was the Hamburg we're making
the phone call. This This woman has gumption and I'm here for it.
Pay a whole walper that was already uncle. Do you want me to pay
for the half of walper too? That ain't uncle. No, he's talking
all the police. You've been drinking alcohol. We'll come all, bring me
a breathtalizer and everything. I am ready. Okay. I told him I
would cause the police fun help. Come on, come ahead, and sent
an officer out to help you all sort this out. Okay, but just
so you know, it's going to be a civil matter between you and the
business, but we could definitely come out there to Okay, you say it's
a civil matter between you and the business, but they could do their best.
Yes, man, I thank you. Sorry, we'll get someone up
so into. This video just says this is an actual nine one one call
for non emergencies. Please call the Tampa Police, not emergency. Of course
it was Tampa, Florida or the rival the Florida man. It is.
If we can put them together, we can sell tickets real fast. Did
you guys see that a twelve plus foot python was found in the Everglades?
I don't want to talk about. Is this I showed the Remember the video
I showed you that wrest. He just fucking takes it on that right there.
If we need a presidential candidates, it's that kid's whoever that he can
run on. I wrangled, I wrangle pythons in the Everglades. You got
my vote, wrangle the policies. Wrangle the policies like I did that python
can have my word. Twenty six. Listen, we made your campaigns,
like, let us run your campaign for you. Look we got I know
I can never run for political office, but I've watched Vice twice, so
I'm pretty pretty set. You know what you're doing. I know a fair
amounts of what to do. I vote for everyone would I'm running for local
office. You guys can't stop. Okay, this next one is probably the
cutest phone call I've ever fucking heard, and I'm actually like glad we can
have some wholesome. I live in a wholesomeness to this absolute black hole of
genera. Yeah, okay, what my math? Your mouth still? It's
my map. I have to do it. Do you have me? Who
do you live? No, it's my map, I know it. The
kid is like, I'm not giving a fucking stranger my address. Help me
with my math. You have one job to do, Sir, I called
you. Let's not pretend that you're important. My math is the most important
thing in the world right now. Yep? Okay, Oh I went to
attack to me on your phone. No, I can't do that. I
can send someone. I will help you. Okay. What kind of math
do you have that you need to help with I have I have takeaways?
Oh you gotta do the takeaways? Yeah, all right, what's the problem
you have to help me with me? Now? Okay? Tell me when
this kid's getting fed up, he's like, I've asked you for help,
Sir. I've told you this three times. It's with my math. If
you can't do this, put on someone who can give me your manager,
give me the manager of nine one one right now. The math is okay,
speaks to you. Yeah, take away this way. Do you tell
me? How much do you think it is? I know one wrong?
No? How old are you? I'm only four four? Yeah? Yeah?
What's another problem? That was a tough one. The dispatchers like,
you know, you asked me too fast. Give me the next one.
Skip that we'll come back to it. No, I love that this kid
didn't like there's We listened to a lot of dispatchers that have just been fed
up. I do appreciate that this guy like took the time of day to
make him feel comfortable, because again we are seeing this like weird thing of
like parents calling the cops on their kids. That just makes your kids afraid
of cops. Yep, this guy's like, i'll help you. Not that
first one that was college level? Do you have a sign? I don't
have a doctorate to answer that one, sir? Right? And again,
I know it's all fun and jokes, but this, this, this actually
like made me laugh in a sea of nonsense. This episode. Oh here's
five tick away five, five tike away five, And how much do you
think that is? Hi? Oh, but I love this the clapback.
You told me if I need help to call somebody, I didn't mean the
police. Oh my gosh, something tells me this took place in Georgia.
I don't I don't know what that accident. That's all it is. That
was fucking phenomenal. Okay, we have like said a couple more here,
This one I labeled big Foot nine one one call. All right, I'm
I'm I'm gonna guess North Carolina. Of course I'm gonna guess North Carolina,
Cleveland County, not one one. I don't know if I sho had a
college, but this is one hundred percent North Carolina. I fucking I guaranteed
it is. I guarantee the snittest I can tell you it probably is.
What's going on? If I had to have my camera pictud take a picture
of who, I don't know what. I don't know what it was.
He's walking upright like a man. I would not hear it because I was
a praying gag. But it went back up the mountains, Cleveland County nine
one one fellow, Can I help you? He is this damn big?
Uh huh? You probably have my dread? Yes, what's going on now?
Yeah? I kind of a light on this thing. Well, I
wouldn't it just showed a license plate. This is North Carolina. I knew
it. I knew right away when I heard her answer the phone. That's
a North Carolina Appalachian dialect. Yeah. I love that you're sitting there like,
yep, if we can skip this one that this isn't even that interesting.
Actually we should probably just go on. I am curious if anyone out
there is having a hard time understand what they're saying, because this is clear
as day for me. Yeah, I'm hearing like every third word. So
okay, what did it look like? It looks like a gunt age with
a man's way. And I want to preface this for anyone who's like,
oh, this guy's clearly drunk. No, this is how every man from
North Carolina sounds. After forty seven. It is every They're all slow and
then and then when they get excite, real excited. And I can say
this because one of the first ones I met, Brittany, I got mistaken
for a black bear. It's a whole ridiculous conversation. This guy in the
gas station I had come down there the very first time I've ever met you.
We read a gas station on the way out of Cherokee. You you
were coming in and uh this this this older gentleman in overalls in a fucking
hat, which that's half of Western right there. He turns running goes,
oh my god. I thought a god damn black bear came off the side
of the mountain. Was about eight mate. I was like, you son
of a bitch, you son of a bit. That's a little about North
Carolina though, because usually up here. No one will talk to me.
They'll leave me alone down there. I'm everybody's best friends. Oh you you're
sowing so's boy, ain't. I've never been here before, sir. I
don't even know what county were. Oh no, I saw you down there
at the church at the potluck, didn't I? Yeah, you would have
been got yourself second ditting your boy? What the fuck are you talking about?
I'm just glad we didn't start a podcast five years ago, say six
years ago, because no one would understand me. No, sometimes you get
excited. It's kind of that's right, high. I've never no one's ever
been more right than you are right now. We just know. What's what
I want to do is records you playing Overwatch because so Brittany plays Overwatch with
a few boys who speak Spanish. A woman who scares the shit out of
me because I think I'm pretty or she's me just a woman, And and
they're Paula. There's Polito Paula two. We can't forget Paula, don't you
guys. I don't know if you're ever yelling at him or because there's times
I'm in bed now I'm upstairs. Fans going AC's going. I got a
YouTube video plane. At times I can't sleep it all here you god damn
fucking Tracer, it's behind. I swear to fucking god, fucking Hanzo mains
this. This is why I play support or it'll I'll be sitting there on
my phone and shaver Head said on it'll be nothing, but it's quiet.
I'm reading something about it, I'm doing show pripped, and all of sudden,
are you fucking god fuck? I swear to fucking gotta fucking hate this
guy. I'm sucking uninstalling Shawan installed, she reinstalls twelve minutes later me and
never watched her. A very toxic relationship. Yeah, but when you get
going, it's like they're yelling in Spanish. You're yelling in country. No
one can understand anybody I'm yelling, and bud Widj's yelling in Texan, which
is a whole different. People are like, oh, people from textat on
Vac's bullshit. When PJ gets going, it's like, okay, I will
buy stock and Miller light if you have convinced me. I don't even know
what you're talking about. Things any day, I can send anyone a million
clips of this because it's every time you played over one of these people.
All right, let's finish the big Foot and I'm on one call. I
was a raid to killing and the Mado brickly down. It was about nine
penn foot goal was a real long run. I'll go after a year's gone.
I'll come back in the house a yet rack again and my book knowlge
and this raging hey, it was I get in any trouble if I was
shot and killed this leason. Would I get in any trouble if I shot
and killed this beast? That is a North Carolina question if I've ever heard
one. I'm here for it. We got like ten seconds left in this
one animal. Whatever he did, I get in get in trouble. I
can't answer that question to me. I will hear me. I mean,
if it's on his property line, we have a different question. I love
that he threatened big Foot to the discipline proxy. If he gets too close
to me, I responsible for what I'm going to do. And again,
I have family from the South. I love the South. This is not
making fun of anybody from that region. I have a deep love for this
man. And at least he called the cops listen, y'all gotta have an
ape to come pick up there. There is a comment here that so that
he is a lifelong hunter in the area. He's a mountain forager for mushrooms,
and he also teaches local kids hunting safety. So I'm just saying,
I I don't he doesn't sound intoxicated to me. He sounds like a guy
I don't know. He would definitely sound intoxicate for someone who's not up to
date with the dialect that is in that region. Yeah, but like you
said, this long, slow, drawn out dialect is what older men and
Appalachia get. Like, that's what they get when they're older. Okay,
we got two more here. I got one that is a man was ripped
off by McDonald's. Why is it always McDonald's McDonald's, what are you doing
if the one we're ending on is awesome McDonald's shock? So, okay,
man ripped off by Mcdonald's'll see what if it's not that kid that got Okay?
You guys need to go back and listen to Craigslist stories volume I don't
know which one it is to go back to the fucking kid I loved.
I tell everyone this story if Craigslist is brought up in the in the slightest
this guy, this kid and his younger brother go and meet this guy off
Craigslist for an iPhone. It was like a deal that was too good to
be true. It was his cousin. It was his cousin he had.
He had to snatch it up. The second was what I think he was
babysitting his younger cousin. He takes them with him. They go, they
meet up with this dude. The dude robs them. They run into McDonald's,
has a weapon. He locks his child cousin outside. The kids beating
on the door. The manager's like, we're not open the door for nobody
and no one getting this Ronald McDonald house. I'll tell you what. And
the kids beating on the door fall against us. They left the fucking robber
outside with the money, the gun to everything kid and the kid I think
he felt bad for yeah, because he loved a kid outside of the McDonald's
and he just the managers like, rules are rules, son, This McDonald's
is saying, yes, well, I'll figure out which episode that is.
You guys gotta go listen to the episode if you have it, And we
have a whole amazing archive of like two hundred plus episodes. If you're new
to the show, I highly recommend go back and listen. Listen to Brittany
and I through our journey one cool than we do the shows. We don't
just we don't discuss these cases, we live them as well. So if
you are new this is your first episode, I highly suggest you take a
look at some of the older episodes and uh, kind of see what got
us here. It's crazy that we can say that now. Yeah, it's
been a journey, hasn't it. Yeah, all right, show me show
me what you got man ripped off by McDonald's. I was at a McDonald's
topic ten dollars and these guys gave me one burger and a prize and told
me to pull around. This is not a nine one one emergency. Don't
get this is not a police matter. You need to take it up with
the manager of McDonald I'm gonna got rob for my money, sir. You
did not get robbed you. I'm going to disconnect with you now. I
was at legdonald's. I gave youse guys ten dollars. They gave me one
burger and a fry and told me to part Sorry. I believe he just
talk to my partner a moment again. I love that he got hung up
one and he called back. He said, hey, fuck this guy,
Ronald has my shit. Coume arrest Ronald right now. Jesus Christ. No,
And he advised you, this is not a nine one one emergency.
This is a nine one one emergency. I got rob for eight dollars.
You cannot tell me I can call nine one one and not get a cop
right here? Can't you just tell me I can't get a cop right here?
Ages sick in the sundayside road. I optors right now. Okay,
stop listen. Nine on one is for life or death emergencies. Only by
you calling nine one one you can be arrested. They listen to me.
That's where it cuts off. I would have loved to hear the rest of
this conversation, oh boy, because again the confidence of some people. If
I had half the confidence that a lot of people have, I would be
president today. I would have found a way around the age restriction law,
and I would be a god. I would be the god damn president.
I'd be the leader of the free world tomorrow because he's the nine of one
offer. No, I'm gonna tell you how to do your job, sir,
Yeah the gum show. You don't tell me a goddamn thing. All
right, last time we have here McDonald's call over missing orange juice. These
are real, I swear to God. One do you need fire, medical
or police? Yeah? This police? And what's the problem we're here McDonald?
Which McDonald going on TV high work? Okay, and we're on TV
highway. It's one TV high work, so you're out and you're in a
looa then right, sure, okay, And what's the problem there this lady?
We ordered some food and we went home that our order wasn't in there,
and my little brother's crying for his orange juice and stuff, and we
came back with the receipt and everything, Hey can we have our order?
We paid for it, and she was like, oh no, I can't
do anything about it. And she was definitely my brother in love because he
ordered the food and he couldn't speak English, right, And she's not even
showing up in the window now. She said she told us that she was
gonna call the cops, and nobody has showed up. And that's why I
called and she was being rude here and you know, we wasted guys.
My dad came and everybody. I want to somebody say my dad. My
dad wants like a mobl gere. So I don't want to make a problem.
Yeah, I don't put some money at all. Okay, okay,
sense of the sheer, confusion of the operator, like what the fuck are
we supposed to do? Now? If it actually went down like that,
that lady deserves to get her ass me. But that you don't call the
cops for that. She deserves to get fired if she's doing that to you
and your little brother. I agree, Now there was something right here.
You have to be kidding. Arrest all of them, the girl McDonald's and
the customers. They have no right to be calling nine on one for this
nonsense. I mean, that's true. And in the next top comment,
this was the most exciting thing that happened in the lower organ in the last
all right, it's got a couple more minutes left. Let's let's see how
this goes. Yeah, and what's your name? Sorry? I'm sorry?
What right? All right? Ray? What's your last name? Man?
Well it please? Oh? Okay, okay, what kind of car are
you in there. We're on the in the Chrysler three hundred. What colors
we're in a park Ala? Your car blue, ma'am? Okay, all
right, we'll send them over there. Thank you. Bubell one police fire,
Max met Aical, Hello, Yeah, this e minute. Yeah,
this is I'm calling fy McDonald's. I guess going because they have a plan
with some customers after they're selling. After and that they doing what the customers
are, they complain about our food and things like that, and they now
they don't want to move, and they told me to call the police,
and yeah, I'm working here McDonald's and aloha, I'm one of them.
A way the customers are complaining about their food. Yeah, because we were
supposed to be given the food of the room. Fool. And I make
the order and I showed that everything was correct, capter, and they got
mad because they told me to give it more food and I showed that I
can't give any free food away and they show them and start showing me a
backwards and all that, and I show them, you know what, if
you don't move from here. A manifold the police and they told me,
okay, go ahead and call the police and because we're not going to move.
And finally they move, like thirty minutes ago, out of the try
too. And now they are up there standing walking right by try to knocking
at the window and say that I don't know what else I want upper Okay,
what is your name? My name is Shellen, Helen, yes,
and your last name bless and phone O. We're there. It's uh five,
book three. Okay, we have to stop it there so no one
calls this McDonald's and creates a problem, but they end up dispatching the cop.
And again this dispatcher had the patience of a goddamn saint. Did she
really really did? I also, I will give advice real quick to anyone
who has to call and interact with someone on nine one one. Give them
the situation as fast as possible. Don't give them the whole your whole life
back story, and what type of time and day their orange juice was produced
for the orange juice to be given out, Be as precise as possible when
you're talking to them. Follow the advice I got when I was a young
security guard learning how to incident reports. Facts not feelings. End of discussion.
Yep, don't tell them how you feel how they're making you feel.
Unless you're being threatened, you feel threatened. But it's get to the facts
right away. Don't waste any time, because the longer you're taking to explain
yourself, the longer it takes for help to get to you. Correct.
I also love this comment. I believe this video is exactly why my mama
makes me check my bag rich my order food here before I leave the drive
through. Yeah, I do that, you don't I do? Yeah,
well, and it's weird. So I have. I have the worst luck
with fast food. You had the worst luck if with food in general.
Yeah, you should be checking every single piece of food you get, but
you never do. You know, I'm a gambling man. I like you
know, the universe will provide for me that day, and if it doesn't,
I had to work on something. That's the way I see it.
I'm a double has let us on it. I probably slighted someone. That
is not how you use things. You take it as a personal attack,
if yours. I'm not saying that. I don't get upset, but if
I'm overly clear, I'm looking at you right now, Skyline Chili, and
I explain to you the ingredients on your own wrap, and I tell you
I want chicken cheese buffalo sauce, and they're like, okay, so you
want that. Listen, tortilla grilled chicken cheese buffalo sauce. That's what I
would like. And then I get home and it has lettuce and mayonnaise in
it. I'm probably gonna beat the shit out of principle at that point.
Every big guy out there knows what I'm saying right now, and they get
it. End of discussion. You're not gonna convincity of us otherwise. So
with that being said, Miss Brittany, the only thing that I have left
to add is go check out the Tennessee Haunts and Legends Expo, get your
tickets, come see us. Do you have anything else that you'd like to
add? Make sure you guys stay tuned for our next United Strangest of America.
I couldn't have said it better myself. So with that being said,
Miss Brittany, I think we're gonna have to add This episode of nine one
one calls to our never ending but are always growing tails from the dark day
at the time of