WEBVTT

1
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:14.039
He was cold cold. That was
the namn he was cold. Mine,

2
00:00:22.879 --> 00:00:31.079
what's going on up there? Could
be the most important event in history now

3
00:00:31.079 --> 00:00:41.479
I haven't cover that destroy worlds,
I said. I hope this is close

4
00:00:41.560 --> 00:01:03.640
to hell. It's all ever again. Hello and welcome to the Tales from

5
00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:06.879
the Dark podcast. I'm your host, Bob. Here's my co host,

6
00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:08.040
Brittany. Hey, guys, what's
up. Brittany? How are you doing

7
00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:11.599
today? I am doing good.
How are you? I'm doing well.

8
00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:14.959
I got I got back into walking
today after a short break, and I

9
00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:19.359
it wasn't It wasn't good for all
my big guys out there. You can

10
00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:22.319
do it, but don't take a
break. Whatever you do, you're gonna

11
00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:25.040
regret it, like I am right
now. And I can already feel the

12
00:01:25.079 --> 00:01:27.719
pain that I don't want to wake
up tomorrow morning. That I figured that

13
00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:32.200
like halfway into the first mile.
I'm like, you know, if I

14
00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:34.719
could just like freeze myself for two
days, I'd probably be okay. Oh

15
00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:38.959
my gosh. But with that being
said, before we dive into this episode,

16
00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:42.760
miss Brittany has a little announcement about
a long running series here on the

17
00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:48.000
channel that we're bringing back. What
is that series, Miss Brittany, I

18
00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:51.159
don't know, do you remember.
I think I had some kind of like

19
00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:55.079
really silly name that I think one
of our listeners came up with. It

20
00:01:55.159 --> 00:01:59.239
was definitely a bullshit name that I
have never been a fan of. I

21
00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:01.760
actually think that the votes were rigged. Yeah, I think so too.

22
00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:05.280
And conveniently enough, it was the
last time that I put anything up to

23
00:02:05.319 --> 00:02:10.000
a vote for you guys, because
I wanted to go with Strange States for

24
00:02:10.039 --> 00:02:14.759
this series. I still I have
a bad memory, and I still remember

25
00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:21.479
at a pure spite that I wanted
the series United Strangeness of America to be

26
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:24.280
called Strange States. So that will
be coming back this week or next week,

27
00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:28.879
I'm not sure, but we are
bringing it back finally. It's been

28
00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:30.960
a long time since we've done well. I think it's December. Yeah,

29
00:02:31.159 --> 00:02:34.960
And for those asking, it wasn't
that anything was wrong. We just kind

30
00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:37.719
of took a break from the series
because it seemed like all we were doing

31
00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:39.960
was United Strangeness and it started to
lose its luster. Well, that's why

32
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:45.759
we went to BI weekly, was
to try to fill in with more other

33
00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:50.159
types of content throughout the week.
But this year has just really kicked our

34
00:02:50.199 --> 00:02:53.159
ass. I mean, as you
guys know, we've had you know,

35
00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:57.199
the MPM stuff. We've been doing
video editing and narration. We've had a

36
00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:00.800
couple other projects we've worked on behind
the scenes. But I'm feeling good.

37
00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:04.960
I feel I feel really good about
this. I know we're gonna be very

38
00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:07.560
busy to at least the end of
the year. Well, speaking of being

39
00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:10.800
busy, Spooky season is upon us, and we always we go all out

40
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:15.479
for October. Since the birth of
the podcast, that's kind of been our

41
00:03:15.560 --> 00:03:21.240
thing, and I've had a love
for Halloween my entire life. It goes

42
00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:25.080
back to goose Bumps Nicke at Night. I don't know if you've watched Are

43
00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:29.599
You Afraid of the Dark. It
was it was like a high school show

44
00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:32.199
when I was a kid, So
it was one of those where like I

45
00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:35.680
wasn't supposed to be watching it,
but I watched it anyway. And then

46
00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:40.520
there was like a more explicit version
on MTV for a while. I watched

47
00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:46.840
that, and then Halloween Town kind
of Halloweentown cemented my love that and Twitches.

48
00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:50.719
I didn't watch Twitches. I don't
think I got into that, but

49
00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:57.520
Halloween Town solidified the aesthetic of Halloween
and then the Twins. Okay, thank

50
00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:03.080
you Twin Witches. I guess anyone
was wondering. Yeah, phenomenal plot.

51
00:04:03.639 --> 00:04:06.039
Autumn in general is my favorite.
It's my favorite time of the year.

52
00:04:06.039 --> 00:04:09.759
It's not too hot, it's not
too cold here in Ohio. Masterpiece of

53
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:14.120
cinema. Okay, is this gonna
be? We're actually excited to announce Britney's

54
00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:16.199
new podcast. It's called Britney with
Twitches and that's all it is. It's

55
00:04:16.199 --> 00:04:20.759
not Britney Twitching. It's it's it's
is it a show or a movie?

56
00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:24.920
At both? I'm going on out, Yes is the answer. Okay,

57
00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:28.279
you're going all out for first guest
is actually going to be the costume designer.

58
00:04:28.360 --> 00:04:30.240
So yeah, very excited. No, but speaking of being busy this

59
00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:34.800
Halloween, Tennessee Hawson Legends Expo right
around the corner. Guys, you guys

60
00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:39.639
have got to get your tickets October
twenty first at the fair Grounds of Nashville.

61
00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:43.079
Tickets are only ten bucks. Here's
the way I see it. To

62
00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:47.160
buy Phantom Farm, it's like five
dollars. I don't actually know how much

63
00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:50.680
Phantom Farm calls. Tyler takes care
of that for us, but Phantom Farm

64
00:04:50.759 --> 00:04:56.399
is five dollars. I make maybe
one public appearance a year that's worth at

65
00:04:56.439 --> 00:05:00.720
least two dollars, and sometimes we
count those as like random gas gas station

66
00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:02.519
encounters. So we're at seven dollars
in value. Eric's gonna be there.

67
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:05.519
That's fifteen dollars. Now we gotta
take ten bucks off because we have to

68
00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:11.120
bring Austin, so we're right around
that ten dollars in value. To go

69
00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:14.360
to the Fairgrounds Nashville and not just
see us, there's a ton of amazing

70
00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:17.240
creators. The vendorlist is getting bigger
and bigger. One of my favorite things

71
00:05:17.319 --> 00:05:20.800
right now, if you guys go
to the Tennessee Hawns Legends Facebook page,

72
00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:26.519
they're doing a vendor spotlight and shout
out. Every single day I have connected

73
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:30.680
and seen more cool podcasts, video
creators, YouTubers, article writers, and

74
00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:36.040
the other cool thing is like the
jewelry and aesthetic creators in the mystical community.

75
00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:39.319
There's a ton of them that are
gonna be at this expo, and

76
00:05:39.399 --> 00:05:42.759
it's really cool to see everyone kind
of come out in full force not only

77
00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:46.480
support one another, but also put
together a kick ass show that goes towards

78
00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:48.680
charity. That's the other big thing
that we keep missing out on is this

79
00:05:48.759 --> 00:05:53.199
is going to charity. This is
going to go support several great causes that

80
00:05:53.199 --> 00:05:55.839
we are fully behind. And I
can't wait to see everyone there. So

81
00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:59.079
get your tickets now. And not
only that, but we will be guest

82
00:05:59.160 --> 00:06:03.160
speakers, us and the entire crew
of Phantom Farm. We'll be guest speakers

83
00:06:03.240 --> 00:06:06.519
at this show. Yeah. Not
only that, but this is the only

84
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:12.079
show we have on our roster for
the foreseeable future. Yeah. And this,

85
00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:14.759
no, this is unconfirmed. I
had to talk with Eric. I

86
00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:17.240
want to do some kind of like
a dunk pit for Tyler Terry I'm talking

87
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:24.759
about, but instead of water,
we're just throwing balls at Tyler. And

88
00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:27.240
if it happened, you know,
whatever happens happens. That's the way that

89
00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:30.000
I kind of look at this.
I'm confirmed, but it's in progress.

90
00:06:30.120 --> 00:06:31.720
Eric, get back to us.
I sent you six emails of voicemail and

91
00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:34.560
a carrier pigeon. You're kind of
ignoring me right now, you see,

92
00:06:34.839 --> 00:06:39.839
we toppen Eric. No, I'm
extremely excited. And again, like Britney

93
00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:42.879
said, we don't do a whole
lot of these public appearances, and it's

94
00:06:42.920 --> 00:06:46.720
gonna be one of the like rare
times we're gonna be out and about and

95
00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:48.240
doing our thing. So come see
us hang out. It's gonna be a

96
00:06:48.279 --> 00:06:53.240
great time. With that being said, Miss Brittany, how many nine one

97
00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:56.639
one calls have you made in your
life that you know of? In my

98
00:06:56.879 --> 00:07:00.240
life, I usually if I have
an issue its own, I only have

99
00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:03.519
to call the non emergency number.
But the only time I ever remember calling

100
00:07:03.600 --> 00:07:10.399
nine one one is I was on
my walk home and I accidentally dialed nine

101
00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:13.879
one one. It was dark.
Uh this was before I had a car

102
00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:16.759
and I was working, and uh
yeah, I thought I was gonna get

103
00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:21.839
arrested for accidentally calling nine one one. You were, I was the ran.

104
00:07:23.319 --> 00:07:26.040
Weren't for your arrest out right now? This is actually what when I

105
00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:29.519
hear them banging on the door.
Oh, did you have that annoying kid

106
00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:31.199
in every class that every time the
sirens went on to be like, oh

107
00:07:31.240 --> 00:07:36.519
they're coming to get me? Yea, I was that kid. So I'm

108
00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:41.319
also excited to announce the new co
host that fails from the dark. It's

109
00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:45.759
the three and a half foot tall
plague doctor Spicable and in our studio and

110
00:07:45.879 --> 00:07:48.480
small cut and small Cat. I
need to get that man his own podcast.

111
00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:51.000
I think I still do that to
you though, Like when we hear

112
00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:54.279
sirens, I'm like, oh,
they're coming for you. It's yeah,

113
00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.480
I don't know what it is.
It is what it is. It's it's

114
00:07:56.519 --> 00:07:59.800
a what do they call it,
the advanced placement class. It's it's those

115
00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:05.839
specifically, So it makes perfect sense. No, So the most recent nine

116
00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:09.000
one one call, we talked about
this on the show? I don't think.

117
00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:11.040
So what what most recent nine one
one call? Well, we've only

118
00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:15.639
had to call the cops like three
times in the past months. Have we

119
00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.480
talked about this on the show yet. No, because we've been doing interviews.

120
00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:22.519
Okay, So I like to go
walk at night consistently, just because

121
00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:24.959
a it's cool. For a minute. We had like, oh yeah,

122
00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:28.000
we have a whole anime arc for
them. Yeah. We had several hundred

123
00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:31.959
degree days here. Commidity was ridiculous, and then I decided to get in

124
00:08:31.039 --> 00:08:35.440
shape in the midst of a heat
wave because that's just how my motivation truly

125
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:39.759
works. So I got pretty serious
about it. I walked for a little

126
00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:41.960
bit. I actually ordered walking shoes, I ordered tennis shoes for the first

127
00:08:41.960 --> 00:08:46.799
time in a decade. That's not
You can ask Brittany, this is not

128
00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:50.000
an exaggeration. I don't wear tennis
shoes. I either were boots or flip

129
00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:52.240
flops, and it was a struggle
to get you to wear flip flops.

130
00:08:52.279 --> 00:08:54.960
I want I want the audience to
know that if I had to have bought

131
00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.840
you those flip flops in Florida,
you would still just be wearing boots everywhere.

132
00:08:58.919 --> 00:09:03.279
I have these awesome swordfish dad flops
and they're fine, They're amazing.

133
00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:05.919
No, what's hilarious is Tyler reminded
me the other day, is like,

134
00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:07.519
hey, I remember when you used
to be like super skinny and you just

135
00:09:07.519 --> 00:09:11.360
didn't wear shoes ever, And it
was like a core memory unlocked. MC.

136
00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:13.679
Yeah, I forgot. I was
really against shoes in high school.

137
00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:16.919
I was that fucking weirdo. Anyway, I mean I am too a bit.

138
00:09:18.279 --> 00:09:22.000
Just yeah, it's from the Mountain
saying you have hobbit feed. It's

139
00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:26.320
fine anyway, I'm gonna kick your
ass, all right, keep going.

140
00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:30.159
So I like to walk at night, and there's a park relatively near our

141
00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:33.360
house, and some of the listeners
know about this already. Because I sent

142
00:09:33.399 --> 00:09:37.519
them the video because I wanted to
approve I wasn't crazy. I started walking

143
00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:41.240
at night because it was a little
cooler. And there's another mom that walks

144
00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:45.679
occasionally who is like not, I've
never talked to this woman, So I

145
00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:48.200
have this whole relationship in my head
of like why she does what she does,

146
00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:52.639
and I have no idea because I've
never really spoken to those But she

147
00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:54.600
used to walk her in the day
when I did. Then she started walking

148
00:09:54.600 --> 00:09:56.440
in the evening, so she for
all I know, she might have started

149
00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:58.679
walking at night to get away from
me. That that could be a whole

150
00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:03.960
side conversation. But we were walking
and all of a sudden, I see

151
00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:07.480
here kind of take off running out
of the park. Now, she's usually

152
00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:09.799
a pretty quick walker like she and
the time it takes me to like one

153
00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:11.200
lap, Sho'll pass me and then
be like a quarter of the way through

154
00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:15.799
the track. But I've never really
seen her run. So she takes off

155
00:10:15.879 --> 00:10:18.799
running through the park, and I'm
like, what the fuck, Like what

156
00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:22.440
am I missing? I start looking
around and there's this gentleman in the park,

157
00:10:22.919 --> 00:10:28.600
no shirt, with this like baton
bowstaff thing, just like waving it

158
00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:31.679
around. Whatever think about like a
giant old man's walking stick. Yeah,

159
00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:35.759
and he's definitely kind of creepy.
And actually I think I'm kind of missed

160
00:10:35.759 --> 00:10:39.519
telling the story, but there was
a portion there was another time where we

161
00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:43.120
were walking and he was hiding behind
the trees. I think it was actually

162
00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:46.879
this time when he was hiding behind
the trees and like being just soup.

163
00:10:46.919 --> 00:10:50.039
And again when I say it's dark
over there, there's like one single street

164
00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:54.559
light and the rest of its pitch
black. So he was like crawling on

165
00:10:54.600 --> 00:10:58.360
the ground hiding trees. Yeah,
like low, crawl all the way to

166
00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:01.720
the ground, going tree, you
treat a tree. And he scared this

167
00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:05.440
woman off, so I called the
cops. The cops come and they talked

168
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:09.440
to the guy and they asked him
directly, like what were you doing.

169
00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:11.919
He goes, I was gonna scare
him. I was gonna hop out from

170
00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:16.480
behind the tree and scare him.
And the cop asked him, what would

171
00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:18.720
you have done if he grabbed a
hold of you. There is no one

172
00:11:18.759 --> 00:11:22.840
else out here? Are you two? He goes, Oh, people don't

173
00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:24.200
do that. He wouldn't have done
that, And in the back of my

174
00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:26.720
mind, I'm like, I was
gonna beat the brakes off you, sir,

175
00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:31.960
because you gotta understand a lot of
times I'm a fucking weirdo my headphones.

176
00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:33.039
I told I don't think I've even
told you this. There's a lot

177
00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:37.679
of times where I'm walking out of
my raycons and and I'm listening to like

178
00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:41.879
horror sound tracks. This is not
I'm not making this up. You can

179
00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:45.720
look at my YouTube his tree and
I'll type in like the scariest sound effects

180
00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:48.360
of all time outside and I'll be
walking around listening to this in the pitch

181
00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:54.039
black because I'm fucking weird. I
like to be afraid. So if you

182
00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:58.639
jump out at me and I'm listening
to the scariest horror track, two k's

183
00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:01.919
there's an asshopping coming somebody's way.
And this isn't a tough guy thing,

184
00:12:01.960 --> 00:12:05.720
it's a if I'm afraid enough,
there's gonna be a problem. So I've

185
00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:09.279
had to call the cops in this
guy three times now for doing the same

186
00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:15.440
thing. Sometimes we'll just sit under
the spotlight and just do bow staff moves

187
00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:18.320
at me and yeah, like martial
arts stuff. I have videos of this

188
00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:22.480
guy just just staring me down,
doing martial arts moves at me. At

189
00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:28.200
midnight for no fucking reason. Initially
we thought maybe this is like a mental

190
00:12:28.200 --> 00:12:30.879
health crisis situation. The comps and
I know he's fine, he's just a

191
00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:35.000
little weird. I'm love average intelligence, he's not homeless. He just does

192
00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:37.320
this and I'm like, well,
I'm fucking weird too, but I'm not

193
00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:41.399
doing this to people. And they've
just kind of like let it go,

194
00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:43.440
like, oh, we'll talk to
him and he shouldn't come back. He

195
00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:46.480
comes back almost every night. I
think at this point it's a showdown type

196
00:12:46.519 --> 00:12:50.840
of situation between me and this guy. So if you guys suddenly get like

197
00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:54.960
an invitation for tickets to a random
park in Ohio, show him, it's

198
00:12:56.080 --> 00:13:00.200
it's gonna go down. But apart
from that, I've through my job.

199
00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:01.519
I've had to call on line one
one a few different times. One comes

200
00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:05.080
in mind. I think I've told
this in the Security Guard Horror Stories video.

201
00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:09.759
We had a truck driver and I
might miss tell the stories. It's

202
00:13:09.759 --> 00:13:13.679
been years now. We had a
truck driver come up to the guard check

203
00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:16.679
and tell the guards, Hey,
the girl in my truck is dead,

204
00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:22.919
and that was it. My guards
call me, she's crying. I'm like

205
00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:28.559
Okay, where what's the punchline?
Like, I'm not understanding she She's like,

206
00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:31.279
no, no, no, what
I say, Call the fucking cops.

207
00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:35.240
So we end up calling the cops. Well, initially we were under

208
00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:37.960
the impression this was the guy's wife. It wasn't his wife at all,

209
00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:41.080
because the first thing he does after
the ambulance comes and takes her away is

210
00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:45.639
he comes back up and says,
hey, I can still pick my load

211
00:13:45.720 --> 00:13:50.399
up tonight, right, Like this
doesn't affect check in a haunted truck.

212
00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:52.039
Yeah. Well, then we found
out that we're pretty sure that this young

213
00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.399
lady was a lot lizard. If
you're not familiar with it, that is,

214
00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:58.639
just look it up. But that
that was pretty crazy. And then

215
00:13:58.679 --> 00:14:01.960
we've had a few I've told them
head break in story another crazy one.

216
00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:05.919
So that's where I am with nine
one one calls I've had to do.

217
00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.039
We've had to do them in the
highway a few different times, but we

218
00:14:07.080 --> 00:14:11.519
try to be super respectful. Oh
my god. The Yeah, I was

219
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:16.480
driving home one night and uh,
it's like an hour drive coming back home

220
00:14:18.120 --> 00:14:20.480
and there was a car going to
complete This has actually happened a few times

221
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:24.120
in Ohio. Yeah, I've really
happened to me too. Actually, yeah,

222
00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:28.200
I've literally never had this happen anywhere
else my entire life down south.

223
00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:31.759
It's an Ohio thing, I'm convinced. For those of you who may not

224
00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:35.480
be familiar, Britney's from western North
Carolina. Yeah. So this guy is

225
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:41.440
literally driving in the wrong side of
a highway. I almost hit him.

226
00:14:41.480 --> 00:14:45.720
This has happened to me twice actually, and I think it's happening once.

227
00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:48.720
Yeah. People, and it's always
when we're not together, which, like

228
00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:50.639
you could say, like, well, three is not that many. You're

229
00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:54.320
right, it's not if we're talking
like times you went to the bathroom today.

230
00:14:54.480 --> 00:14:56.840
But like when it comes to people
driving on the wrong side of the

231
00:14:56.840 --> 00:15:01.720
interstate, that's kind of fucking alarming. Yeah. One of them was in

232
00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:05.840
the fast lane and I was lucky
enough to see them and get over because

233
00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:09.240
I would have had a head on
collision with them. Another one was on

234
00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:11.720
the by like the exits where the
exits are on the right hand side.

235
00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:13.919
He was on that side of the
lane. So yeah, I've had to

236
00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:18.879
call the cops on that a couple
of times. But fucking people figure about

237
00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:20.960
interstates, guys. But the thing
is like these may sound crazy, but

238
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:24.639
I know you've got some stories you're
about to read that are even crazier.

239
00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:28.519
And I have some some YouTube clips
i'm gonna I'm gonna play for you guys

240
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:31.279
that I okay, And I had
to preface this. I am ninety nine

241
00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:35.080
percent sure all of the clips were
going to play on YouTube are real.

242
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:39.279
The problem is there's currently three television
shows, one on Netflix that's something in

243
00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:45.080
par or something like that. Those
have kind of taken over YouTube. So

244
00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:46.320
I had to really dig in the
archives. Like I said, I'm ninety

245
00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:50.840
nine percent sure the videos that I
play are going to be true factual nine

246
00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:54.799
on one calls, but it's the
Internet, so you never really know.

247
00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:56.039
But what do you got to start
us off with? All Right? So

248
00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:02.279
the first one is like a actual
script from a nine one one call.

249
00:16:02.360 --> 00:16:07.039
Basically, Okay, this is the
person reporting it. I'd like to call

250
00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:11.320
in and report a fire. And
then basically the background is this person lived

251
00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:15.480
in a fire prone area nine one
one. Where is it located, sir,

252
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:21.080
on the hillside, just east of
Link City nine on one. Can

253
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:25.919
you be more specific? Yes,
Oh god, it's getting bigger. The

254
00:16:25.960 --> 00:16:29.519
whole top of the hill is on
fire now nine to one, sir,

255
00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:33.960
stay calm, we're sending someone out. It's getting bigger. Doesn't anybody see

256
00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:37.840
this? It's lighting up the sky
around it. It's huge. Oh god,

257
00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:45.720
oh oh oh wait, sir,
I am so sorry. I'm not

258
00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:48.399
usually out at this time of night. I just got off work late.

259
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:55.320
That's that's the sun. Oh my
god. I am so so sorry for

260
00:16:55.399 --> 00:16:59.360
wasting your time. There is no
fire, that's just the sun rising.

261
00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:04.319
Never mind, I'm really embarrassed,
as you should be. That's fine,

262
00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:07.599
sir. I will cancel a call
and thank you for calling. I mean,

263
00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:15.440
good on him for being proactive in
a potentially life threatening situation. Bad

264
00:17:15.559 --> 00:17:19.920
on him for not knowing what the
fucking sun was. I haven't you ever

265
00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.799
liked, just been. I can't
even think of a time in my life

266
00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:30.880
where I would ever mistake the sun
for a fire. Okay, I can,

267
00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:34.599
of course you can. I was
I was pretty young, and I

268
00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:41.880
was okay, when I was younger, I liked I like to have a

269
00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:45.400
cold drink every now and then,
uh huh. And I had a boatload

270
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:51.000
of cool drinks one evening okay,
and it was I don't know, like

271
00:17:51.759 --> 00:17:52.559
five in the morning. Something like, I don't it was. It was

272
00:17:52.599 --> 00:17:56.880
early early, Okay. I come
outside and this is again, this is

273
00:17:56.880 --> 00:17:59.519
Sydney, Ohio. This is not
We're not in some fucking war base,

274
00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:03.119
and I can stander something crazy.
This was Sidney, Ohio, a town

275
00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:08.440
known for industry in a really weird
downtown. So I walk outside and I

276
00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:11.279
was very confused because I'm like,
oh, I'm seeing the sun, but

277
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:15.559
not like the Sun's sun, but
like the sun, like the Oppenheimer's sun.

278
00:18:18.119 --> 00:18:21.960
I had this this brief moment where
I was convinced that someone had nuked

279
00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:25.559
Sidney, Ohio, and that you
are seeing the aftermath. Well, what

280
00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:26.240
was nuts? Is? The first
thing I did was I think. I

281
00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:30.119
went to Facebook to see if anyone
else had been seeing this. And then

282
00:18:30.119 --> 00:18:34.200
I did what every Ohio and does. I typed in whiotv dot com,

283
00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.039
which is our local news station,
and I'm like, well, if they

284
00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:41.359
haven't reported it yet, it's probably
fine, and I proceeded to go back

285
00:18:41.400 --> 00:18:45.799
to sleep. Oh my god,
every man has been that drunk at least

286
00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:48.319
once in their life. Okay,
I've got one. I want to read

287
00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:53.480
to you real fast, though,
because this is fucking pre law enforcement.

288
00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:57.519
I understand, and I believe every
word of this. Okay, I had

289
00:18:57.519 --> 00:19:02.720
a drunk person call to report being
harassed. Truth was, he was being

290
00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:07.319
arrested by our officers for throwing pizza
at people. All I heard in the

291
00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:11.000
background was one of my officers saying
to him that better not be our dispatcher

292
00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:15.160
on the phone, followed by some
muffled talking and my officer taking the phone

293
00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:17.599
and saying he will be taking a
ride with us now and hanging up.

294
00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:21.960
I still laugh about that to this
day. That is I won thousand percent.

295
00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:25.200
I could be on both sides of
this. That's the thing. If

296
00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:29.960
I'm in New Orleans, I could
see this being Look, these fucking assholes

297
00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:33.400
won't leave me alone. I'm just
trying to throw my pizza. All I'm

298
00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:40.160
doing is celebrating Marty Graw and someone
gave me Crystal Burger. I had onions.

299
00:19:40.279 --> 00:19:44.759
I'm not responsible for what happened afterwards. I specifically said no onions.

300
00:19:44.839 --> 00:19:48.160
I still remember how drunk we got
when we went into that Crystal and I

301
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:52.160
was like, yes, I want
everything. The first time we went to

302
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:55.160
Bourbon Street is one of my favorite
memories of you, because we had a

303
00:19:55.319 --> 00:19:57.880
conversation in the hotel. We're gonna
have a few drinks. We're not gonna

304
00:19:57.880 --> 00:20:02.039
get too drunk. Okay, we're
outside waiting for the Uber. Yeah,

305
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:03.079
we're just gonna have a good time, have a few drinks. It's gonna

306
00:20:03.079 --> 00:20:07.799
be fine. I said, Yep, it's bourbon treat. We're experiencing the

307
00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:12.200
culture New Orleans. Seventeen minutes later, your shit faced, like, bang

308
00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:18.759
bang, How far was that?
Do you remember the Walgreens? Yeah,

309
00:20:18.119 --> 00:20:22.880
okay, the Crystal Burgers buy the
Walgreens. How far away would you say

310
00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:25.359
that is? Babe? We can
see the sign. It's right. I

311
00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:27.640
think we should go to Crystal Burger. I'm pretty sure. And again I

312
00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:33.240
grew up calling it crystals because my
dad's from Tennessee. It's just crystals,

313
00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:38.240
Brittany, it's that good Crystal Burger. Crystal Burger. Right now, I

314
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:42.720
really think we should have Crystal Burger. And we go there and I'm having

315
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:47.200
a conversation with the security guard trying
to get into a fucking job, and

316
00:20:47.240 --> 00:20:52.039
you're like, I'm like, get
five crystals, Yes, get your crystals,

317
00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:56.359
that's fine. How many are you
gonna get? And I'm like trying

318
00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.359
to talk to this young man and
like influence his career choice, and You're

319
00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:03.680
like, this is the best fucking
crystal burger I've ever seen in my life.

320
00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:10.680
I'm gonna get I'm gonna get five
crystals. No, it was I

321
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:15.880
did not that first night we ever
went to Bourbon Street. I didn't make

322
00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:18.279
it all the way down the strip
because normally what people do is they walk

323
00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:22.640
up and down Bourbon Street. No, I didn't even make it all the

324
00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:25.680
way down Bourbon Street before I was
absolutely shit faced. Yeah. Well,

325
00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:27.160
here's here's the part that Brittany loves
to leave out. We get back to

326
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.960
the hotel room and I'm like,
honey, are you hungry? Because now

327
00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:34.920
there's if anyone who's been in New
Orleans, they know there's a delay from

328
00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:40.119
calling your uber to getting your uber
and getting to your hotel. That delay,

329
00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:42.160
depending on the time of night,
can be sixty to ninety minutes.

330
00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:45.039
So it's not like we went from
Crystals straight to the hotel. It was

331
00:21:45.079 --> 00:21:49.440
Crystals that walked a bit more than
Wait. Yeah, So we get back

332
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.720
to the hotel and I'm like,
you want, like I saw great Hamburger

333
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:57.799
place in Dornash there's nine hundred and
thirty restaurants no, there's more than in

334
00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:00.400
fucking New Orleans. People are like, well it's four am, Bob,

335
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:06.400
twenty year open. No seven hundred
are open at four am. So I'm

336
00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:08.160
like, what do you want?
And you tell me this this crazy burger

337
00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:14.559
order thirty dollars a piece for burgers, no no fixings, no sides,

338
00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:17.440
thirty bucks. I order it.
I get to the hotel. It gets

339
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:21.599
to the hotel, I'm I think
I'm watching like Twilight on the hotel TV

340
00:22:21.640 --> 00:22:26.720
because that's what I always do.
And you're fucking just out just and I'm

341
00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:30.240
like, Babe, our foods here. Only time in our entire relationship I

342
00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.880
couldn't wake you up for food for
food. And I'm like, Babe,

343
00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:37.599
our foods here. And You're like, oh, okay, Crystal Burger,

344
00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:41.799
you're snoring up a storm. I
set it next to you and I open

345
00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:45.240
it up and I'm like waffing,
I'm waffing it to you and you're just

346
00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:48.079
like out fucking cold. So I'm
pissed at this point because like, it

347
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:52.480
wasn't a burger I would eat,
So I'm like smelling your burger all night

348
00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:55.319
long. I'm like, she's gonna
wake up the middle of night month this

349
00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:57.559
thing you wake up at like eleven
am the next day and you're like,

350
00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:07.200
babe, what is in a very
condescending I told you thank you for ordering

351
00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:08.839
me the burger, and that I
was sorry that I didn't need it.

352
00:23:08.920 --> 00:23:12.200
He told me that after the inquisition, what this was sitting next to you

353
00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:15.759
on the on the fucking bedside table. Anyway, what else do we have?

354
00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:21.599
Nine one one call? Wise,
a quite pregnant woman calls to say

355
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:23.880
that her doctor told her to refrain
from having sex for the rest of the

356
00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:29.279
pregnancy, but she didn't understand why. I looked at her file and it

357
00:23:29.319 --> 00:23:33.319
saw that she was having pre term
contractions. So I explained that sexual activity

358
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:38.079
can cause contractions, so it was
safer to abstain so the baby could stay

359
00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:41.599
inside as long as possible. I
don't think this would be a nine one

360
00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:45.640
one call then, mightbe like,
just to the doctor in general, So

361
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:48.799
it was safer to abstain so the
baby could stay inside as long as possible.

362
00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:56.759
Then she tearfully exclaimed, how but
how will I feed the baby?

363
00:23:57.559 --> 00:24:02.920
I'm sorry, ma'am, could you
repeat that? How will I feed the

364
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:08.440
baby if I can't have sex?
The patient was convinced that her baby was

365
00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:15.759
living off her boyfriend's semen and that
it would starve if they stopped having sex.

366
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:17.519
Hey, I got this thing.
I have to go do that.

367
00:24:18.039 --> 00:24:25.359
That's not this. So it's been
great, guys. I'm sorry. Is

368
00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:30.599
there Please tell me there's not more? I explained the umbilical cord, but

369
00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:36.319
she refused to believe me until I
asked her about single moms and other examples.

370
00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:40.400
After a moment of silence, she
thanked me and started to hang up

371
00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:45.680
the phone, but not before I
heard her screaming her boyfriend's name. That

372
00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:52.079
man had a good thing going for
a while there. That's incredible. First

373
00:24:52.119 --> 00:24:56.240
off, hats off to that man. I would kill you. That's pure

374
00:24:56.319 --> 00:25:02.119
masculine ingenuity. I would kill you. Second off, have you seen the

375
00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:06.519
movie Idiocracy? Because this is how
exactly how it starts. Okay, I

376
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:07.079
know you got one or two more
you want to read. I have to

377
00:25:07.079 --> 00:25:08.839
read these two, do you real
quick? And they're gonna get into the

378
00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:12.680
actual calls, all right? So
one of this first one is just like,

379
00:25:14.599 --> 00:25:17.200
why are people people? The second
one is I'm pretty sure you made

380
00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:19.839
this call. The first one says
I had a lady trying to call an

381
00:25:19.880 --> 00:25:25.640
ambulance because she opened a packets Romamossa
from Amazon at home, and she was

382
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:29.920
afraid that her kid was about to
have a major allergic reaction from the packing

383
00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:33.640
peanuts. The kid was allergic to
peanuts, and when her kid mentioned what

384
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:41.720
they were called, she freaked out
and called us, Ah, I mean,

385
00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:44.640
you can't make this up. The
other one, I'm pretty sure,

386
00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:48.839
was Brittany Caller. A deer just
swim across the river behind my house.

387
00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:56.160
Me, okay, well, I'm
worried it might be cold. Well,

388
00:25:56.200 --> 00:25:59.119
there's nothing we can do about a
deer being cold. Didn't it run off

389
00:25:59.119 --> 00:26:03.160
after swimming in the river. Well, yeah, it's a deer. Well

390
00:26:03.400 --> 00:26:06.799
him, if it's a wild anim
I guess it's gonna be fine. Okay,

391
00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:11.119
if you're sure, And then she
hung up. I could see that

392
00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:15.160
being. That would never be me. I would call just to try and

393
00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:21.000
get get some other cute animals warm. But you know that's that's not relevant

394
00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:25.000
here to this conversation. Back to
the we're back to the burger ing position

395
00:26:25.079 --> 00:26:30.440
all over again for the Great Burger
Inquisition. Look, that's the next T

396
00:26:30.559 --> 00:26:33.400
shirt right there. All right,
So before we get into the video.

397
00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:37.720
I got one more. No,
I'm on one. Do you need assistance

398
00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:41.160
or not? I'm on one.
Where do you need assistance? At the

399
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:44.240
convenience store? This guy won't sell
me beer? Okay, why not?

400
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:49.039
I can't show him my ID because
I'm not twenty one. Without an ID,

401
00:26:49.240 --> 00:26:52.720
the clerk cannot sell to you,
especially if you're under age. But

402
00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:57.240
the other clerks let me bribe them
before. I told him him that,

403
00:26:57.319 --> 00:27:00.880
and he won't take my bribe and
sell to me. Make him take my

404
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:06.759
bribe. We won't force the clerk
to accept your bribe and definitely won't let

405
00:27:06.839 --> 00:27:08.519
him sell to a minor. Do
you want to wait there and I can

406
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:12.400
have an officer come talk to you
in person. Yeah, I will sit

407
00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:17.759
outside and wait for you. That's
I would love to have been a fly

408
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:21.160
on the fucking liquor store wall when
that cop showed up, because you know

409
00:27:21.240 --> 00:27:27.680
one that kid sat there knowing he
was right. I actually have one more

410
00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:30.880
I got read to you because this
is all right. The best story I

411
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:34.519
have is a guy who called about
a bobcat in front of the library.

412
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:38.839
He called up out of breath and
said there was a wildcat intimidating people so

413
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:44.480
they could not enter or exit the
building. Yeah, fairly, I was

414
00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:47.680
fairly close. I started to run
over. I asked if anyone was injured,

415
00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:51.200
and he said no. I was
expecting a huge group of people held

416
00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:55.240
up at the entrance by a huge
cat hissing at everyone. I told him

417
00:27:55.279 --> 00:27:59.160
to keep away from it and stay
on the line. When I got there,

418
00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:03.799
I found a town abby cat perched
on a bench. I verified the

419
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:06.839
collar and the cat he called about. I went over to the cat with

420
00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:10.359
him and started pet started to pet
him. He rolled over and let me

421
00:28:10.359 --> 00:28:15.119
scratch his belly. The guy was
shocked and said, oh, someone has

422
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:22.240
domesticated it. These are the people
that have a right to vote, ladies

423
00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:26.000
and gentlemen. But on the opposite, on the opposite end of the spectrum.

424
00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:30.519
You remember that video we watched of
that woman who brought home that bob

425
00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:34.119
cat and thought it was a cat. So that happened again recently. Are

426
00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:37.000
you kidding me? So a woman, this is an La, she's an

427
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:42.440
avid hiker and she's a known Karen
apparently. So I'm following this arc very

428
00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:47.000
loosely because she kind of her mom's
question. She deleted her Facebook group kind

429
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:49.440
of turned into a whole thing a
Facebook profile. So she brings home a

430
00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:56.119
coyote coyote pup, She washes it, she goes and gets it food.

431
00:28:56.160 --> 00:29:00.079
It won't eat the food, and
she posts in like every cool la Facebook

432
00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:06.160
group that has dogs, and it
was something like, one of you insufferable

433
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:10.480
dog owners couldn't be bothered to keep
your dog on a lead. It got

434
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:14.119
it got away from you, and
I found it on this hiking trail this,

435
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:17.079
and she posted. She had the
audacity to post the picture of the

436
00:29:17.119 --> 00:29:21.440
coyote and the receipt, saying,
in order to get your puppy back,

437
00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:23.400
you have to pay me for the
supplies I bought your dog. Oh my

438
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:26.759
god, I think it's a female, but it nipped at me when I

439
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:33.880
tried to check. You need to
teach your dogs and manners. Everyone thinks

440
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:36.720
it's a troll, and then people
start pointing out no, this woman has

441
00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:41.240
a history of like taking people's animals
when they're not looking, and then like

442
00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:45.160
holding them for ransom. Basically,
she did it with a fucking coyote.

443
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:51.640
I had that kyote pissed on everything
it did, because that's what coyotes do.

444
00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:56.640
They just start pissing and they every
stop everywhere. Side notes, speaking

445
00:29:56.680 --> 00:29:57.720
of the things, I want to
give a quick recommendation, I don't give

446
00:29:57.759 --> 00:30:03.680
me any media recommendations out there.
To all the talesmith Ark listeners, go

447
00:30:03.720 --> 00:30:07.640
to Netflix and watch. I think
you should leave with Tim Robinson. Oh

448
00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:12.920
my god, if you ever wanted
to know what an unrestrained like Bob would

449
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:18.720
be, it is a mix between
Tim Dillon and this guy's show. Thank

450
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:26.000
you. I appreciate that both are
both their comedic geniuses. And one percent.

451
00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:29.359
If you ever like stepped away from
Tales from the Dark because god forbid,

452
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:32.519
you were pregnant or you felt down
the stairs, something bad happens to

453
00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:37.960
you, are you telling me your
plan? Percent just doing fake business for

454
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:45.160
hours on the podcast. I'm setting
up several multi level empires and I'm getting

455
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:49.880
all kinds of fake business clients.
You yes, have to if you guys

456
00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:52.359
don't want to talk about, just
google Tim Dylon fake business. But no,

457
00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:56.119
the reason needed to watch, I
think you should leave. There's this

458
00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:59.920
fucking hilarious clip. I cannot remember
the name. I think it's like the

459
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:03.720
night Robert Poulson's or something came to
life, or no, the day that

460
00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:07.920
someone someone murdered me. And it's
these guys in the studio and they're like,

461
00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:11.599
yeah, we're looking for something a
little bit more like raw at with

462
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:15.960
more emotion. They start to play
this like pretty like country in school country

463
00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:22.799
Western song and the bassis Tim loses
his ship and starts from skeletons coming to

464
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:27.440
life? How how the bones are
their money? And it's it's I cannot

465
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:30.920
do it justice. I will post
it in the Facebook group. It is

466
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:33.039
I haven't laughed at hard and so
fucking long, and you still listen to

467
00:31:33.079 --> 00:31:37.920
that song every chance I get,
And there's a hilarious what's funny is?

468
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:41.240
I bring this to Tyler Terry because
me and Tyler have very similar humor.

469
00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:45.599
I get no real reaction, so
I'm like, what the fuck now?

470
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:49.519
It's Tyler over text. You never
really know. Well, as fate shall

471
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:56.000
have it, Tyler found this.
Have you ever seen the the Halloween decorations

472
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:00.319
that sing to each other? Tyler
had posted that on his Twitter X.

473
00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:01.920
I don't know what the fun to
call it now? He posted it there

474
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:06.119
with that exact song, and that's
what I know. Tyler and I are

475
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:09.759
just link somewhere at the comedic funny
Bone for life. Okay, so let's

476
00:32:09.759 --> 00:32:13.039
get onto some of these YouTube calls. So this first one, I have

477
00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:17.240
to give props to nine one one
calls with a Z smaller channel. It

478
00:32:17.319 --> 00:32:20.119
was posted a little while ago.
But like I said at the head of

479
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:23.119
the episode, there's not a whole
lot on YouTube that's not either like news

480
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:30.160
clips discussing it and then little blurbs
or the like Netflix joke show. Yeah,

481
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:31.160
so we're gonna kind of cut this
up a little bit, but these

482
00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:35.519
are five of the dumbest nine one
one calls of all time. Are we

483
00:32:35.599 --> 00:32:43.799
ready? Somebody's really drunk driving down? What's where are they going? They

484
00:32:43.799 --> 00:32:50.599
are going towards Grant and towards Sale
as well towards Graham. Okay, you're

485
00:32:50.599 --> 00:32:57.640
behind them or no? I am
them? You am them? Yes,

486
00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:02.359
I am them? Okay, So
you want to call and report that you're

487
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:08.039
driving drunk? Yeah, I mean
promps too, were for turning yourself in?

488
00:33:08.359 --> 00:33:10.720
Yeah, because drunk driving is no
joke. You shouldn't do it.

489
00:33:10.920 --> 00:33:15.720
No, you should not. But
I am them. That needs to be

490
00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:20.119
on every T shirt out there.
And that's it. All right, Let's

491
00:33:20.200 --> 00:33:27.920
let's let's hear what else happens.
Okay. What's your name? Mary?

492
00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:32.079
Okay? Hold on one second,
Mary? Okay, okay. Are you

493
00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:37.359
still driving right now? Yes?
Do you want to stop driving before you

494
00:33:37.400 --> 00:33:40.200
get in an accident? Yes,
I will stop. Okay, you're gonna

495
00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:44.519
stop right now? Yep, I
will stop right now. Okay, just

496
00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:47.519
hold on a second. Okay,
Okay, I'm stopping. Okay, just

497
00:33:47.640 --> 00:33:52.000
saying on the phone. Okay,
okay, I'm still there, sir.

498
00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:58.000
Yes, I'm sorry. What that
what's your last name? Mary? Are

499
00:33:58.039 --> 00:34:01.279
you stopped right now? Do you
say? Should I turn my car off

500
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:07.359
and to turn flashers off? Yep? That's fine if you want to turn

501
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.719
it off and turn a flasher's on, so then we can find you.

502
00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:15.199
Where are you coming from, Mary? I came from niel Ville. I'm

503
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:20.960
come up. When you were drinking
in niel Zell, I was drinking all

504
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:25.840
over. I'm sorry. I shouldn't
be driving. White people who get the

505
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:34.199
call in on themself, not many, but I guess it's better than getting

506
00:34:34.199 --> 00:34:37.760
in an accident and killing yourself or
somebody else. No, I don't want

507
00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:44.599
to hurt anybody. I'm drunk.
Magine little jail. What's that the like?

508
00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:46.920
Go to jail? I guess if
you're over the legal limit. I

509
00:34:46.920 --> 00:34:52.639
mean, well, I know I
am. It's really fucked. I'm thinking

510
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:57.119
you calling on myself. I think
somebody come up, like right there,

511
00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:00.280
a little pickre. Frank Mary three
zero, a little pickre. You see

512
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:05.000
somebody coming? You said, yeah, but think they're going right by?

513
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:09.960
Oh WAYMNT. Oh no, they're
gold Splashers. They're here. Okay,

514
00:35:10.039 --> 00:35:15.880
we'll let you go and speak with
them. Okay, thank you. Forty

515
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:20.119
nine year old Mary straight blew a
point one seven, nearly twice the legal

516
00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:23.239
limit for driving. Deputy's ticketed her
for o WI, her first offense.

517
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:27.599
Deputy say what she called? She
was about two and a half miles from

518
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:31.440
home, please sire. Okay,
before we get into the next one.

519
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:36.440
Again, kudos for her for calling. Yeah seriously, but I love when

520
00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:38.719
the cops showed up, She's like, oh there they are, Like she

521
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:43.199
like she should know, like she
didn't know what was gonna happen when she

522
00:35:43.320 --> 00:35:45.840
called time on one for herself.
I mean, she was drunk, but

523
00:35:46.559 --> 00:35:50.599
you shouldn't be doing that in the
first place. But again, kudos to

524
00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:53.119
her for stopping before. Yeah,
but I've only happened. I've never been

525
00:35:53.159 --> 00:35:57.719
so drunk that I thought to call
the cops of myself for anything. I

526
00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:00.679
mean, if I hadn't got those
Crystal burgers at night, that you probably

527
00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:05.199
would have called the college. God. That would have been a fucking nine

528
00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:07.039
one one call to have. That
would have been our intro to every podcast

529
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:14.760
forever. All right, let's let's
keep going. I'm be hones Holies where

530
00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:22.280
okayle com mcdona fall delaware. What's
going on there? I order the full

531
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:25.920
pie, chicken nuggets would have small
fly as we could say that they didn't

532
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:30.159
have any chicken nugget. That's why
I I want to make deva the small

533
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:35.800
flying the peopled my lamp. Anything
else fought the menu because you can't rEFInd

534
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:38.679
me the refect say out of the
middle, and that phone would just give

535
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:42.199
me all my money back if you
so much. You can't give me my

536
00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:45.519
money back to you. If you
would have to have pizza something, there's

537
00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:51.119
no manager there. Now you already
spoke with the manager. Okay. First

538
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:54.639
off, kudos to the operator for
not being like, what the fuck is

539
00:36:54.719 --> 00:37:00.480
your problems? Seriously? If you
call nine one one, because I mean

540
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:04.760
I get it. If it's like
a four thousand dollars like phone call or

541
00:37:04.960 --> 00:37:08.559
receipt or something, and you have
all your ducks in a row, like

542
00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:14.400
I gave you being angry, but
to call nine one one? What is

543
00:37:14.599 --> 00:37:16.920
wrong with you? And what kills
me is I feel like it's it's no

544
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:22.199
matter what school you come from across
the country, the importance of nine one

545
00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:24.679
one is is iron into your head
at a fairly young age. Oh yeah,

546
00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:29.400
and you should know the reason that
people call nine one one is usually

547
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:32.760
for emergencies. Oh. We had
entire programs to come to the school and

548
00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:39.000
tell us about emergency operations, firefighters, police, We had programs to like,

549
00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:43.559
have you know nine one one memorize
obviously, but your own phone numbers

550
00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:46.199
for emergencies and stuff like that.
I just can't believe, for one the

551
00:37:46.360 --> 00:37:52.079
confidence on this woman that she is
so convinced she's in the right that she

552
00:37:52.199 --> 00:37:58.000
went straight to the police. Now
again, good on her for having enough

553
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:02.480
I guess enough faith the police to
fix problems. That's good, but that's

554
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:06.320
not what they're there for. Yeah, but we need to Maybe we started

555
00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:09.719
the manager or a shift lead,
and then we work away to Ronald McDonald,

556
00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:15.599
and then from Ronald we go to
the Hamburgler because we know who's in

557
00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:22.480
charge, and then maybe the chief
of fire, and if he can't help

558
00:38:22.519 --> 00:38:27.360
you, at that point, the
chief of fire will all absolutely understand the

559
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:30.400
importance of having your chicken nuggets exactly. All right, Well, let's let's

560
00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:35.880
see where this goes to manifest.
You're saying something about she just can't find

561
00:38:35.880 --> 00:38:38.239
me my mona something, but she
don't have on aminga one. I want

562
00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:43.880
to want a chicken leggats because that's
what she didn't have that makeable as if

563
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:46.960
to find the different I mean she
came to that was just giving all my

564
00:38:47.039 --> 00:38:52.119
money vas and I don't want anything. As she's telling that she can't re

565
00:38:52.199 --> 00:38:55.079
find my money house, she don't
have what I want and she came at

566
00:38:55.199 --> 00:39:00.719
something I don't want the emergency,
Yeah, can you please send Do I

567
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:02.719
think I'm heaving an overdose? That
a still as my wife. Okay,

568
00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:07.920
so we're gonna get into the next
nine on one call. But I have

569
00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:10.519
to give her some credit. She
never backed down. No, she stuck

570
00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:14.320
to her guns. She said,
I want my chicken nuggets or I want

571
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:17.679
nothing. Now here's the thing.
I have been on the receiving end of

572
00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:24.000
several shitty door dash McDonald's orders in
my time, but again, I never

573
00:39:24.199 --> 00:39:29.199
once. Now I might go leave
a bad yeop review threatened to, you

574
00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:34.239
know, throw some molotov cocktails.
But I'm not calling the cops because they

575
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:37.440
have more important things to do,
like the guy practicing karate at the point,

576
00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:42.760
I know, I know where my
taxpayer dollars are going. Okay,

577
00:39:42.840 --> 00:39:45.559
so I see it every night.
So for this, this next one,

578
00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:49.039
it's just fucking hilarious. If you
guys missed the beginning here, they call

579
00:39:49.119 --> 00:39:52.880
the Dearborn Heights Police Department and he
says, yes, can you please send

580
00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:55.639
rescue? I think I'm having an
overdose and so is my wife, So

581
00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:59.760
you Okay, this is some serious
stuff. Let's see where this goes.

582
00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:06.400
Okay, you and your wife?
Yes, over knows of what marijuana,

583
00:40:06.760 --> 00:40:09.199
but I don't know if they had
something in it. Okay, can you

584
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:13.280
please send rescues? Okay? How
old are you? I'm twenty eight,

585
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:17.159
twenty nine years old and my wife
is uh twenty six? Please come,

586
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:22.480
yes, please, have you guys
been drinking? Also? What have you

587
00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:24.760
guys been drinking today? Too?
No, that's it? You know,

588
00:40:25.559 --> 00:40:29.719
is there any weapons in the house, No, please come, okay,

589
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.039
well away, and you guys,
are you guys? Like, did you

590
00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:36.559
guys have fever? Anything? No? I'm just I think we're dying.

591
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:40.239
Okay, how much did you guys
have I don't know. We made brownies

592
00:40:40.519 --> 00:40:45.079
and I think we're dead. I
really do. Okay, how much did

593
00:40:45.079 --> 00:40:47.920
you put in the brownies? I
don't know. I was in bad Who

594
00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:53.639
made the brownie? My wife and
I did the dispatches out here, trying

595
00:40:53.639 --> 00:40:57.840
to get like a recipe? Who
made that? Where can I buy that?

596
00:40:58.119 --> 00:41:00.159
What kind of butter did you use? What's the ratio butter to flower

597
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:05.119
to weed? There's every stoner out
there that I've ever talked to has always

598
00:41:05.159 --> 00:41:08.239
had that I thought I was dead
moment. And there's this hilarious Reddit thread

599
00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:12.599
that I read a while ago where
this guy said, I fucked up.

600
00:41:13.239 --> 00:41:17.440
I took four five hundred milligram edibles. Oh my god, you know two

601
00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:22.679
two thousand milligrams. I'm pretty sure. I'm not very up to date on

602
00:41:22.760 --> 00:41:27.480
this stuff, but I think,
but I think like fifteen milligrams ten is

603
00:41:27.559 --> 00:41:30.440
like that's a dose that you start
to feel something or you don't. I

604
00:41:30.440 --> 00:41:34.280
don't know how this works, but
he said, I took what do I

605
00:41:34.440 --> 00:41:36.679
do? I tried to make myself
throw up, and I started to panic

606
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:39.000
about throwing up so I couldn't do
it. And some some guy said,

607
00:41:39.920 --> 00:41:43.800
I hate to break it to your
chief. You gotta go outside, hug

608
00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:45.880
the ground, hope you don't fall
off. This is about to be one

609
00:41:45.880 --> 00:41:52.239
of those really fucking hard lifels.
And I'm but every stone I've ever talked

610
00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:55.119
to you, I have because I've
been enamored by this, like that you

611
00:41:55.280 --> 00:42:00.679
can't overdose on marijuana, like it's
never happened before. And I think Rogan

612
00:42:00.760 --> 00:42:02.440
had a someone had a stand up
thing is Yeah, the reason I know

613
00:42:02.519 --> 00:42:07.280
you can't is I fucking tried.
Do you know it wasn't. I think

614
00:42:07.320 --> 00:42:09.320
this is a TikTok comed And he's
like, do you think I fucking wake

615
00:42:09.400 --> 00:42:14.320
up? And I look like this
on purpose. I'm doing everything I can

616
00:42:15.199 --> 00:42:17.280
to make it feel like an accident
so my parents don't question what happened.

617
00:42:20.360 --> 00:42:22.280
But it's such a weird thing.
But again, it's such a demon nice

618
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:24.599
thing. Growing up, I was
under the impression you hit one joint,

619
00:42:25.320 --> 00:42:29.320
it's over. You're dead. You're
dead, instant death. In the discussion

620
00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:31.480
and again, I understand the fet
and all conversation. That's not we're talking

621
00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:37.559
Snoop dogg Use, that's what we're
talking about here, the old Willie Nelson.

622
00:42:37.760 --> 00:42:42.320
Nothing but I just this fucking guy. I you can hear the paranoia.

623
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:45.760
It's so raw, like I think
we're dead. We're actually dead,

624
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:49.760
we're dying, we're actually ghosts.
Right now, record this for science.

625
00:42:49.800 --> 00:42:57.800
This is a spearbox. All right, let's go. Okay, she's on

626
00:42:57.920 --> 00:43:02.559
the living room ground right now.
She's barely breathing, I think, so

627
00:43:05.199 --> 00:43:08.679
okay, can you look pardon?
Can you look? Yeah? I could

628
00:43:08.679 --> 00:43:12.119
feel like she's laying right down in
front of me. Time is going by

629
00:43:12.239 --> 00:43:15.440
really really really really slow. Okay, Well, I'm on the fall with

630
00:43:15.519 --> 00:43:17.079
you, and you don't do you? Do you know how much I mean

631
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:21.760
you bought and put in the brownies? Pardon? How much did you buy?

632
00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:24.639
I don't just please send rescue now
on the way, but I'm trying

633
00:43:24.639 --> 00:43:28.360
to figureut how much you bought and
put into the brownies? Say, it's

634
00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:30.960
probably like a quarter owns total,
a corner owns tongs and the brownies.

635
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:38.079
Did you guys eat all the rownies? Yeah? We did, okay,

636
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:43.599
And you eat all the Mohammed and
in big Patch and realle batch. It

637
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:46.400
was it was a quarter own.
Okay? But brownie wise, how many

638
00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:50.880
pieces do you guys think you guys
had? I don't know. I probably

639
00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:53.679
had like a small chunk. Please
come, it's what time is it?

640
00:43:54.639 --> 00:43:59.119
It's nine thirty seven? When did
you guys y u lassie? The brownies?

641
00:43:59.559 --> 00:44:02.360
Probably like an hour and a half
ago. Okay? Is your wife

642
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:06.800
so? Is your wife so Bretha? Yeah? She is? She shouldn't.

643
00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:09.280
She's kneeling down in front of me. Okay, I know we have

644
00:44:09.400 --> 00:44:15.159
to wait. Okay. And is
she Stacy Santa? Yeah? What's your

645
00:44:15.239 --> 00:44:19.239
name? My name is Edward?
Your nworth Santa? Okay? And did

646
00:44:19.280 --> 00:44:22.079
you guys take any other sort of
drugs? Do you know of? Pardon?

647
00:44:22.559 --> 00:44:24.800
Do you know? Did you guys
do anything else today? Beside marijuana?

648
00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:28.159
No? That's it, But I
don't know what was it the marijuana

649
00:44:28.199 --> 00:44:31.719
could have been there could have been
something in the marijuana. Okay. Are

650
00:44:31.760 --> 00:44:35.360
you guys any sort of prescription though? Do you guys take any sort of

651
00:44:35.360 --> 00:44:40.119
on the medication? No? I
don't. My wife takes uh viking in

652
00:44:40.199 --> 00:44:44.840
though. Did she take any today? Uh? No? I don't think.

653
00:44:44.920 --> 00:44:49.880
So, okay, where's the Viking
in? Again? Keep in mind

654
00:44:50.039 --> 00:44:55.320
he's convinced he's dead. There's a
conversation, and again this just sounds like

655
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:59.320
one of those hard life lessons.
He's just he's just gonna be a very

656
00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:01.360
hard life someone they have show.
But yeah, he's got to figure this

657
00:45:01.480 --> 00:45:04.840
out on his zone. But the
thing is, if it's in Dearborn Heights,

658
00:45:04.960 --> 00:45:07.360
that's in Michigan. It's been legal
in Michigan for quite some time.

659
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:10.199
Now. This video was seven years
ago, so I don't know if it's

660
00:45:10.199 --> 00:45:15.360
been legal in Michigan for seven years. So regardless, he's probably in some

661
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:20.320
hot water. Oh yeah, let's
let's see how this ends. Like it

662
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:23.840
in is I don't know, it's
in our medicine cabinet. I mean,

663
00:45:24.079 --> 00:45:29.000
how many does she taken on a
regular basis? Yeah? How many does

664
00:45:29.039 --> 00:45:31.280
she taken a regular basis? Two
or eight? Like, I don't know,

665
00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:35.360
like five a day? Please?
He takes about five an a yeah

666
00:45:36.039 --> 00:45:37.360
are you calling? Yeah? Not
on the way and they've been in him

667
00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:43.039
off for two minutes. It's now
nine thirty eight. Okay, she takes

668
00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:45.719
about how many? Eight at five
a Day's how many does she take an

669
00:45:45.760 --> 00:45:51.039
a. She takes like I don't
know, like six six an a like

670
00:45:51.199 --> 00:45:52.239
five a day. I don't know
if she got into a car accident.

671
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:58.039
Dear, one heights last year,
okay, and you don't know how many

672
00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:02.199
she's taken today? No, Okay, is the Is there any animals in

673
00:46:02.239 --> 00:46:07.239
the house? Is there anyone?
I'll put them away for you, okay?

674
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:12.119
Is yeah? The front door is
open, come here, part I

675
00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:17.519
pardon? Yeah, the court plight
is on are any weapons in the house?

676
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:22.719
You already asked me that, And
what'd you say? Uh? Yeah,

677
00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:24.800
well no there is? Where is
that? Okay? So he changed?

678
00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:30.239
He changes a shitty with her first
again, This is a dead man

679
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:36.079
talking. This is the absolute this
is the best estis method session we've ever

680
00:46:36.679 --> 00:46:38.800
discussed here on the show. Screw
the documentary. I mean, this is

681
00:46:38.840 --> 00:46:43.320
all the evidence we need. I
just I love how he got condescending with

682
00:46:43.519 --> 00:46:49.719
her. She she I can hear
how fed up she is with this conversation.

683
00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:53.320
But I get it's I mean,
she has patience because I would have

684
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:57.920
been like, you're not fucking dying, deal with it. If we're not

685
00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:00.119
coming, I'd be the worst nime
in one off her ever I didn't do

686
00:47:00.239 --> 00:47:05.920
it, all right, it's in
my call. It's in my closet.

687
00:47:06.360 --> 00:47:10.960
Is that the majo? Yeah,
in the front bedroom. Where's that fat

688
00:47:12.079 --> 00:47:15.440
right now? I'm away, sir, do you guys? No, this

689
00:47:15.559 --> 00:47:20.400
is the first time we've ever done
it. Former Corporal Edward Sanchez made this

690
00:47:20.559 --> 00:47:22.559
nine one one call from his home
in Dearborn Heights, Michigan, on April

691
00:47:22.599 --> 00:47:25.320
twenty first, two thousand and six. It was a car resigned during an

692
00:47:25.360 --> 00:47:30.239
internal investigation and then was not prosecuted. Oh my god, has realized that

693
00:47:30.360 --> 00:47:37.800
he was not dead and time returned
to its normal base. Oh my fucking

694
00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:43.320
god. I was not expecting that
flat to it. No, I am

695
00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:45.119
now questioning if this is real,
and if it is, it's a home,

696
00:47:45.199 --> 00:47:49.719
he said. After an internal investigation, he resigned. Yeah, but

697
00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:52.400
Reno nine one says dumb shit like
that too, So I don't I don't

698
00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:58.920
know who to trust. Totally shit. That is incredible. Just got so

699
00:47:59.119 --> 00:48:01.400
juicys. Do you have any guts? You already asked me that, but

700
00:48:01.480 --> 00:48:06.440
I'm gonna tell you a different answer. Fitch, God, how dare you?

701
00:48:06.599 --> 00:48:08.920
We're literally dying from these marijuana brownies? I took two bites out of

702
00:48:08.960 --> 00:48:13.920
a quarter of an ounce an entire
batch. Again, I don't know if

703
00:48:13.920 --> 00:48:15.960
that. Someone tell me if that's
a lot, please, because I don't.

704
00:48:15.199 --> 00:48:17.760
I don't know. I can tell
you when a quarter of an ounce

705
00:48:17.800 --> 00:48:23.000
a sugar looks like Probably I gave
in detail. I'm fucking confused. So

706
00:48:23.400 --> 00:48:30.039
we don't live in in Europe?
Someone we use freedom metric here? Use

707
00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:32.000
it or get outs? No?
No, seriously, though, let me

708
00:48:32.199 --> 00:48:36.199
know if that's a lot and if
that's enough to warrant this type of a

709
00:48:36.280 --> 00:48:38.880
response, or is this just like
a newbie who bit off more than you

710
00:48:38.920 --> 00:48:43.679
can chew figuratively and literally? All
right, I think we have one more

711
00:48:43.719 --> 00:48:45.559
in this video, with a couple
more I want to get to before the

712
00:48:45.599 --> 00:48:51.480
episode's over. God damn, this
is getting bid fire medic. Believe no,

713
00:48:51.599 --> 00:48:53.719
ma'am, I done. I don't
have an emergency to police officers.

714
00:48:53.800 --> 00:48:58.480
Just off my house, just maundered. I get the name place? Was

715
00:48:58.559 --> 00:49:00.320
it just a music turning down?
Here's the kid's cup? I seen it

716
00:49:00.440 --> 00:49:05.079
got down? How long? I
just want to know his name. It's

717
00:49:05.079 --> 00:49:07.320
gonna come very often. A good
looking man comes at your doorsteps. Did

718
00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:09.800
you go them back my way?
You need them to come back there?

719
00:49:10.079 --> 00:49:14.159
Oh I'd like that. Yeah,
why do you need them to come back

720
00:49:14.199 --> 00:49:17.320
their phone? Because I have an
emergency? I don't think of something.

721
00:49:20.440 --> 00:49:23.840
He's cute? Would you come back? I think your partners from back my

722
00:49:23.880 --> 00:49:28.800
way? Would you? Okay?
And what is the reason my dog just

723
00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:31.679
flame it on? My dog?
No? Save the music? And the

724
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:36.599
music was too loud. You need
to talk about the noise complaint as well,

725
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:40.960
exactly hold on to his mother.
Thank you? Then who end up

726
00:49:42.079 --> 00:49:45.360
having the loud noise? Oh?
I guess I'm the one who had a

727
00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:49.079
loud noise to offer to come to
my house just music and work out to

728
00:49:49.159 --> 00:49:52.000
loud music. Okay? And then
what do you need the officers to do?

729
00:49:52.559 --> 00:49:57.800
I mean, is you have another
noise complaint? I guess so okay?

730
00:49:57.840 --> 00:50:00.800
And who where's the money? I'm
just gonna be on It's okay.

731
00:50:00.199 --> 00:50:02.599
I just thought it was cute.
I'm forty five years old and I'd like

732
00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:06.559
to meet him again, but I
don't know how to go about doing that

733
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:12.280
without calling nine to one one the
fucking day. And I love that she

734
00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:20.159
wrote honey like that is the most
Karen bullshit. It's so condescend I hope

735
00:50:20.199 --> 00:50:25.400
they come back and mace that.
Look. I did not ever egg one

736
00:50:25.480 --> 00:50:30.599
police. Nonsense. But if anyone
needs maced, it's this woman right here,

737
00:50:30.079 --> 00:50:36.079
because she was so funny. It
was it's the confidence that she's like,

738
00:50:36.119 --> 00:50:38.199
oh this is I'll make something up
just just getting back here. He's

739
00:50:38.360 --> 00:50:42.840
cute. My fucking god. I
hate people. This is why I don't.

740
00:50:42.880 --> 00:50:45.079
This is why I don't leave the
house unless I have to. Right

741
00:50:45.159 --> 00:50:49.880
here. I know this is not
absolutely a way, shape or form an

742
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:52.559
emergency, but if you would give
the officers my phone number day and ask

743
00:50:52.639 --> 00:50:55.800
him to come back, than I
know they have terrible lots of things to

744
00:50:55.840 --> 00:51:01.239
do in Aroa. Would you mind, I'll give her the message to call

745
00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:07.320
you. Thank you very much.
The twelve year old is completely out of

746
00:51:07.360 --> 00:51:15.559
controller. I can't. I cannot
believe that someone is. I would I

747
00:51:15.599 --> 00:51:17.840
would have the retirement home caller.
No, you have them call you give

748
00:51:17.840 --> 00:51:22.199
her. Do you know what the
rejection hotline is? Yes, give her

749
00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:25.159
that phone number. Fuck that bitch, that bitch. I can't, Okay,

750
00:51:25.159 --> 00:51:28.280
I think there's I think this is
actually the last one in this video,

751
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:30.360
and then we have some other like
ridiculous ones. You guys have to

752
00:51:30.440 --> 00:51:35.800
fucking hear all right. I can't
physically if she's the biggest I am,

753
00:51:35.840 --> 00:51:37.760
I can't control us. Okay,
did you want us to come over and

754
00:51:37.800 --> 00:51:44.239
shoot her? Are you there?
I say, okay, that okay.

755
00:51:45.400 --> 00:51:50.480
He says that's a joke, but
he presented it like it was an option.

756
00:51:52.719 --> 00:51:57.400
If if so, what is this
dispatcher's phone number? I have a

757
00:51:57.480 --> 00:52:01.360
karate guy. You know what?
Yeah? That you will fuck oh boy?

758
00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:05.679
Because I understand this because like I
grew up in a house with like

759
00:52:06.119 --> 00:52:09.119
sisters who were violent towards my parents. I don't remember a lot of it,

760
00:52:09.199 --> 00:52:15.679
but like I remember getting bad like
pretty consistently, and how fast it

761
00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:20.559
went from like yelling to physical violence. I cannot imagine being a parent in

762
00:52:20.719 --> 00:52:23.840
that situation. And the first thing
that dispatcher says is do you want us

763
00:52:23.880 --> 00:52:30.280
to come shoot her? I hope
this guy was fired. Argue, what

764
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:34.159
is your name? Mike Forbs?
Okay, that's not funny at all.

765
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:37.880
I'm going to follow a formal complaint, but I don't blame you a bit.

766
00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:43.599
What the fuck? My only thing
is is I now I can tell

767
00:52:43.719 --> 00:52:49.679
you from experience. Some dispatchers dispatches
in general are usually extremely short staffed,

768
00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:53.960
they work very long hours, and
they're often treated like absolute shit. That's

769
00:52:54.039 --> 00:52:58.360
still unacceptable. I agree. Does
that Does that mean that you can say

770
00:52:58.440 --> 00:53:01.800
something like that? No, but
but I can't work in the nine one

771
00:53:01.880 --> 00:53:05.199
one center. I can tell you
that for free. No, okay.

772
00:53:05.320 --> 00:53:07.960
So the funny thing is I put
these all together. These are all relatively

773
00:53:08.039 --> 00:53:12.760
short that we're gonna end on.
This one is just says raw waffle nine

774
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:16.920
one one call. This could be
about anything, and I'm excited to see

775
00:53:16.960 --> 00:53:36.800
what the hell this one's actually about? All right? Is the one year

776
00:53:36.920 --> 00:53:42.480
a feller? Yes, ma'am,
Okay, what's going on there? This?

777
00:53:42.679 --> 00:53:45.679
This? I guess he worked here
on whatever. They gave me some

778
00:53:45.960 --> 00:53:50.599
raw waffles, and I tall him
I don't want the waffles till he take

779
00:53:50.639 --> 00:53:52.440
it off my bill he's oh,
I can't take nothing, I feel bill

780
00:53:52.519 --> 00:53:57.760
man. But you saw me something
that was fun cook. Oh my god.

781
00:53:57.840 --> 00:54:01.639
I love this woman. She is
telling it how it is you sold

782
00:54:01.719 --> 00:54:07.840
me something uncooked, you son of
a bite. Holy shit. This is

783
00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:12.519
like the McDonald's call all over again. If it was the Hamburg we're making

784
00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:15.920
the phone call. This This woman
has gumption and I'm here for it.

785
00:54:15.920 --> 00:54:20.840
Pay a whole walper that was already
uncle. Do you want me to pay

786
00:54:20.920 --> 00:54:22.679
for the half of walper too?
That ain't uncle. No, he's talking

787
00:54:22.719 --> 00:54:27.320
all the police. You've been drinking
alcohol. We'll come all, bring me

788
00:54:27.400 --> 00:54:31.000
a breathtalizer and everything. I am
ready. Okay. I told him I

789
00:54:31.039 --> 00:54:39.719
would cause the police fun help.
Come on, come ahead, and sent

790
00:54:39.800 --> 00:54:43.400
an officer out to help you all
sort this out. Okay, but just

791
00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:45.679
so you know, it's going to
be a civil matter between you and the

792
00:54:45.719 --> 00:54:51.760
business, but we could definitely come
out there to Okay, you say it's

793
00:54:51.760 --> 00:54:53.800
a civil matter between you and the
business, but they could do their best.

794
00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:57.039
Yes, man, I thank you. Sorry, we'll get someone up

795
00:54:58.840 --> 00:55:02.360
so into. This video just says
this is an actual nine one one call

796
00:55:02.960 --> 00:55:08.199
for non emergencies. Please call the
Tampa Police, not emergency. Of course

797
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:15.880
it was Tampa, Florida or the
rival the Florida man. It is.

798
00:55:15.159 --> 00:55:21.920
If we can put them together,
we can sell tickets real fast. Did

799
00:55:21.960 --> 00:55:25.639
you guys see that a twelve plus
foot python was found in the Everglades?

800
00:55:25.719 --> 00:55:29.960
I don't want to talk about.
Is this I showed the Remember the video

801
00:55:29.960 --> 00:55:35.679
I showed you that wrest. He
just fucking takes it on that right there.

802
00:55:35.719 --> 00:55:38.599
If we need a presidential candidates,
it's that kid's whoever that he can

803
00:55:38.760 --> 00:55:43.840
run on. I wrangled, I
wrangle pythons in the Everglades. You got

804
00:55:43.880 --> 00:55:47.159
my vote, wrangle the policies.
Wrangle the policies like I did that python

805
00:55:47.840 --> 00:55:52.760
can have my word. Twenty six. Listen, we made your campaigns,

806
00:55:52.840 --> 00:55:55.320
like, let us run your campaign
for you. Look we got I know

807
00:55:55.400 --> 00:55:59.840
I can never run for political office, but I've watched Vice twice, so

808
00:56:00.079 --> 00:56:02.280
I'm pretty pretty set. You know
what you're doing. I know a fair

809
00:56:02.360 --> 00:56:07.480
amounts of what to do. I
vote for everyone would I'm running for local

810
00:56:07.519 --> 00:56:13.119
office. You guys can't stop.
Okay, this next one is probably the

811
00:56:13.280 --> 00:56:17.119
cutest phone call I've ever fucking heard, and I'm actually like glad we can

812
00:56:17.159 --> 00:56:23.440
have some wholesome. I live in
a wholesomeness to this absolute black hole of

813
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:36.960
genera. Yeah, okay, what
my math? Your mouth still? It's

814
00:56:37.039 --> 00:56:40.960
my map. I have to do
it. Do you have me? Who

815
00:56:42.039 --> 00:56:47.480
do you live? No, it's
my map, I know it. The

816
00:56:47.599 --> 00:56:51.280
kid is like, I'm not giving
a fucking stranger my address. Help me

817
00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:53.920
with my math. You have one
job to do, Sir, I called

818
00:56:53.960 --> 00:56:59.320
you. Let's not pretend that you're
important. My math is the most important

819
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:02.599
thing in the world right now.
Yep? Okay, Oh I went to

820
00:57:02.719 --> 00:57:06.719
attack to me on your phone.
No, I can't do that. I

821
00:57:06.760 --> 00:57:12.519
can send someone. I will help
you. Okay. What kind of math

822
00:57:12.559 --> 00:57:15.880
do you have that you need to
help with I have I have takeaways?

823
00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:20.599
Oh you gotta do the takeaways?
Yeah, all right, what's the problem

824
00:57:22.920 --> 00:57:25.280
you have to help me with me? Now? Okay? Tell me when

825
00:57:25.400 --> 00:57:29.719
this kid's getting fed up, he's
like, I've asked you for help,

826
00:57:29.880 --> 00:57:32.320
Sir. I've told you this three
times. It's with my math. If

827
00:57:32.360 --> 00:57:37.079
you can't do this, put on
someone who can give me your manager,

828
00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:44.000
give me the manager of nine one
one right now. The math is okay,

829
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:50.320
speaks to you. Yeah, take
away this way. Do you tell

830
00:57:50.360 --> 00:57:53.159
me? How much do you think
it is? I know one wrong?

831
00:57:53.599 --> 00:58:02.039
No? How old are you?
I'm only four four? Yeah? Yeah?

832
00:58:04.079 --> 00:58:07.159
What's another problem? That was a
tough one. The dispatchers like,

833
00:58:07.760 --> 00:58:12.800
you know, you asked me too
fast. Give me the next one.

834
00:58:13.519 --> 00:58:16.559
Skip that we'll come back to it. No, I love that this kid

835
00:58:16.639 --> 00:58:20.840
didn't like there's We listened to a
lot of dispatchers that have just been fed

836
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:22.960
up. I do appreciate that this
guy like took the time of day to

837
00:58:23.039 --> 00:58:28.239
make him feel comfortable, because again
we are seeing this like weird thing of

838
00:58:28.320 --> 00:58:31.079
like parents calling the cops on their
kids. That just makes your kids afraid

839
00:58:31.119 --> 00:58:35.320
of cops. Yep, this guy's
like, i'll help you. Not that

840
00:58:35.440 --> 00:58:38.280
first one that was college level?
Do you have a sign? I don't

841
00:58:38.320 --> 00:58:42.239
have a doctorate to answer that one, sir? Right? And again,

842
00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:44.440
I know it's all fun and jokes, but this, this, this actually

843
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:51.760
like made me laugh in a sea
of nonsense. This episode. Oh here's

844
00:58:51.840 --> 00:58:55.880
five tick away five, five tike
away five, And how much do you

845
00:58:55.960 --> 00:59:17.719
think that is? Hi? Oh, but I love this the clapback.

846
00:59:17.800 --> 00:59:22.800
You told me if I need help
to call somebody, I didn't mean the

847
00:59:22.000 --> 00:59:27.679
police. Oh my gosh, something
tells me this took place in Georgia.

848
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:30.280
I don't I don't know what that
accident. That's all it is. That

849
00:59:30.480 --> 00:59:34.280
was fucking phenomenal. Okay, we
have like said a couple more here,

850
00:59:34.360 --> 00:59:38.320
This one I labeled big Foot nine
one one call. All right, I'm

851
00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:45.199
I'm I'm gonna guess North Carolina.
Of course I'm gonna guess North Carolina,

852
00:59:47.320 --> 00:59:51.679
Cleveland County, not one one.
I don't know if I sho had a

853
00:59:51.760 --> 00:59:59.360
college, but this is one hundred
percent North Carolina. I fucking I guaranteed

854
01:00:00.960 --> 01:00:05.000
it is. I guarantee the snittest
I can tell you it probably is.

855
01:00:06.440 --> 01:00:13.320
What's going on? If I had
to have my camera pictud take a picture

856
01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:16.360
of who, I don't know what. I don't know what it was.

857
01:00:17.719 --> 01:00:23.239
He's walking upright like a man.
I would not hear it because I was

858
01:00:23.320 --> 01:00:30.719
a praying gag. But it went
back up the mountains, Cleveland County nine

859
01:00:30.760 --> 01:00:37.639
one one fellow, Can I help
you? He is this damn big?

860
01:00:37.400 --> 01:00:45.239
Uh huh? You probably have my
dread? Yes, what's going on now?

861
01:00:45.639 --> 01:00:49.119
Yeah? I kind of a light
on this thing. Well, I

862
01:00:49.199 --> 01:00:52.440
wouldn't it just showed a license plate. This is North Carolina. I knew

863
01:00:52.480 --> 01:00:57.519
it. I knew right away when
I heard her answer the phone. That's

864
01:00:57.519 --> 01:01:01.800
a North Carolina Appalachian dialect. Yeah. I love that you're sitting there like,

865
01:01:01.960 --> 01:01:07.320
yep, if we can skip this
one that this isn't even that interesting.

866
01:01:07.360 --> 01:01:10.639
Actually we should probably just go on. I am curious if anyone out

867
01:01:10.679 --> 01:01:14.239
there is having a hard time understand
what they're saying, because this is clear

868
01:01:14.280 --> 01:01:15.880
as day for me. Yeah,
I'm hearing like every third word. So

869
01:01:19.960 --> 01:01:23.519
okay, what did it look like? It looks like a gunt age with

870
01:01:23.760 --> 01:01:29.760
a man's way. And I want
to preface this for anyone who's like,

871
01:01:29.840 --> 01:01:32.920
oh, this guy's clearly drunk.
No, this is how every man from

872
01:01:32.960 --> 01:01:39.920
North Carolina sounds. After forty seven. It is every They're all slow and

873
01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:43.800
then and then when they get excite, real excited. And I can say

874
01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:45.920
this because one of the first ones
I met, Brittany, I got mistaken

875
01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:49.800
for a black bear. It's a
whole ridiculous conversation. This guy in the

876
01:01:49.840 --> 01:01:52.079
gas station I had come down there
the very first time I've ever met you.

877
01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:54.599
We read a gas station on the
way out of Cherokee. You you

878
01:01:54.840 --> 01:02:00.079
were coming in and uh this this
this older gentleman in overalls in a fucking

879
01:02:00.159 --> 01:02:05.519
hat, which that's half of Western
right there. He turns running goes,

880
01:02:05.519 --> 01:02:08.639
oh my god. I thought a
god damn black bear came off the side

881
01:02:08.639 --> 01:02:12.679
of the mountain. Was about eight
mate. I was like, you son

882
01:02:12.719 --> 01:02:16.199
of a bitch, you son of
a bit. That's a little about North

883
01:02:16.239 --> 01:02:19.159
Carolina though, because usually up here. No one will talk to me.

884
01:02:19.199 --> 01:02:22.199
They'll leave me alone down there.
I'm everybody's best friends. Oh you you're

885
01:02:22.280 --> 01:02:24.400
sowing so's boy, ain't. I've
never been here before, sir. I

886
01:02:24.400 --> 01:02:27.880
don't even know what county were.
Oh no, I saw you down there

887
01:02:27.920 --> 01:02:30.480
at the church at the potluck,
didn't I? Yeah, you would have

888
01:02:30.519 --> 01:02:34.000
been got yourself second ditting your boy? What the fuck are you talking about?

889
01:02:34.239 --> 01:02:37.719
I'm just glad we didn't start a
podcast five years ago, say six

890
01:02:37.880 --> 01:02:42.519
years ago, because no one would
understand me. No, sometimes you get

891
01:02:42.519 --> 01:02:45.599
excited. It's kind of that's right, high. I've never no one's ever

892
01:02:45.679 --> 01:02:50.039
been more right than you are right
now. We just know. What's what

893
01:02:50.119 --> 01:02:54.400
I want to do is records you
playing Overwatch because so Brittany plays Overwatch with

894
01:02:54.440 --> 01:02:59.119
a few boys who speak Spanish.
A woman who scares the shit out of

895
01:02:59.119 --> 01:03:01.960
me because I think I'm pretty or
she's me just a woman, And and

896
01:03:02.119 --> 01:03:07.880
they're Paula. There's Polito Paula two. We can't forget Paula, don't you

897
01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:10.960
guys. I don't know if you're
ever yelling at him or because there's times

898
01:03:12.000 --> 01:03:15.760
I'm in bed now I'm upstairs.
Fans going AC's going. I got a

899
01:03:15.800 --> 01:03:19.000
YouTube video plane. At times I
can't sleep it all here you god damn

900
01:03:20.159 --> 01:03:24.079
fucking Tracer, it's behind. I
swear to fucking god, fucking Hanzo mains

901
01:03:25.320 --> 01:03:30.400
this. This is why I play
support or it'll I'll be sitting there on

902
01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:32.719
my phone and shaver Head said on
it'll be nothing, but it's quiet.

903
01:03:32.800 --> 01:03:36.360
I'm reading something about it, I'm
doing show pripped, and all of sudden,

904
01:03:36.519 --> 01:03:40.800
are you fucking god fuck? I
swear to fucking gotta fucking hate this

905
01:03:40.840 --> 01:03:45.000
guy. I'm sucking uninstalling Shawan installed, she reinstalls twelve minutes later me and

906
01:03:45.039 --> 01:03:47.800
never watched her. A very toxic
relationship. Yeah, but when you get

907
01:03:47.840 --> 01:03:52.679
going, it's like they're yelling in
Spanish. You're yelling in country. No

908
01:03:52.840 --> 01:03:55.679
one can understand anybody I'm yelling,
and bud Widj's yelling in Texan, which

909
01:03:55.760 --> 01:03:59.159
is a whole different. People are
like, oh, people from textat on

910
01:03:59.280 --> 01:04:03.000
Vac's bullshit. When PJ gets going, it's like, okay, I will

911
01:04:03.039 --> 01:04:06.760
buy stock and Miller light if you
have convinced me. I don't even know

912
01:04:06.760 --> 01:04:13.840
what you're talking about. Things any
day, I can send anyone a million

913
01:04:13.880 --> 01:04:15.719
clips of this because it's every time
you played over one of these people.

914
01:04:16.199 --> 01:04:21.039
All right, let's finish the big
Foot and I'm on one call. I

915
01:04:21.400 --> 01:04:29.440
was a raid to killing and the
Mado brickly down. It was about nine

916
01:04:29.880 --> 01:04:35.639
penn foot goal was a real long
run. I'll go after a year's gone.

917
01:04:38.280 --> 01:04:44.000
I'll come back in the house a
yet rack again and my book knowlge

918
01:04:44.079 --> 01:04:53.039
and this raging hey, it was
I get in any trouble if I was

919
01:04:53.199 --> 01:04:59.159
shot and killed this leason. Would
I get in any trouble if I shot

920
01:04:59.199 --> 01:05:02.599
and killed this beast? That is
a North Carolina question if I've ever heard

921
01:05:02.639 --> 01:05:05.039
one. I'm here for it.
We got like ten seconds left in this

922
01:05:05.119 --> 01:05:15.039
one animal. Whatever he did,
I get in get in trouble. I

923
01:05:15.519 --> 01:05:23.440
can't answer that question to me.
I will hear me. I mean,

924
01:05:23.519 --> 01:05:26.039
if it's on his property line,
we have a different question. I love

925
01:05:26.199 --> 01:05:30.079
that he threatened big Foot to the
discipline proxy. If he gets too close

926
01:05:30.119 --> 01:05:34.079
to me, I responsible for what
I'm going to do. And again,

927
01:05:34.119 --> 01:05:36.280
I have family from the South.
I love the South. This is not

928
01:05:36.360 --> 01:05:41.679
making fun of anybody from that region. I have a deep love for this

929
01:05:41.840 --> 01:05:45.599
man. And at least he called
the cops listen, y'all gotta have an

930
01:05:45.599 --> 01:05:48.599
ape to come pick up there.
There is a comment here that so that

931
01:05:48.639 --> 01:05:54.400
he is a lifelong hunter in the
area. He's a mountain forager for mushrooms,

932
01:05:54.760 --> 01:05:59.519
and he also teaches local kids hunting
safety. So I'm just saying,

933
01:05:59.679 --> 01:06:02.000
I I don't he doesn't sound intoxicated
to me. He sounds like a guy

934
01:06:02.159 --> 01:06:06.360
I don't know. He would definitely
sound intoxicate for someone who's not up to

935
01:06:06.480 --> 01:06:10.559
date with the dialect that is in
that region. Yeah, but like you

936
01:06:10.639 --> 01:06:15.840
said, this long, slow,
drawn out dialect is what older men and

937
01:06:15.880 --> 01:06:19.000
Appalachia get. Like, that's what
they get when they're older. Okay,

938
01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:21.960
we got two more here. I
got one that is a man was ripped

939
01:06:23.000 --> 01:06:27.239
off by McDonald's. Why is it
always McDonald's McDonald's, what are you doing

940
01:06:27.280 --> 01:06:30.400
if the one we're ending on is
awesome McDonald's shock? So, okay,

941
01:06:30.440 --> 01:06:35.440
man ripped off by Mcdonald's'll see what
if it's not that kid that got Okay?

942
01:06:35.760 --> 01:06:42.400
You guys need to go back and
listen to Craigslist stories volume I don't

943
01:06:42.440 --> 01:06:46.000
know which one it is to go
back to the fucking kid I loved.

944
01:06:46.039 --> 01:06:50.440
I tell everyone this story if Craigslist
is brought up in the in the slightest

945
01:06:51.280 --> 01:06:54.960
this guy, this kid and his
younger brother go and meet this guy off

946
01:06:54.960 --> 01:06:58.119
Craigslist for an iPhone. It was
like a deal that was too good to

947
01:06:58.159 --> 01:07:00.719
be true. It was his cousin. It was his cousin he had.

948
01:07:00.159 --> 01:07:02.119
He had to snatch it up.
The second was what I think he was

949
01:07:02.119 --> 01:07:05.599
babysitting his younger cousin. He takes
them with him. They go, they

950
01:07:05.679 --> 01:07:10.800
meet up with this dude. The
dude robs them. They run into McDonald's,

951
01:07:10.880 --> 01:07:15.760
has a weapon. He locks his
child cousin outside. The kids beating

952
01:07:15.800 --> 01:07:17.199
on the door. The manager's like, we're not open the door for nobody

953
01:07:18.440 --> 01:07:23.159
and no one getting this Ronald McDonald
house. I'll tell you what. And

954
01:07:23.280 --> 01:07:28.320
the kids beating on the door fall
against us. They left the fucking robber

955
01:07:28.400 --> 01:07:32.000
outside with the money, the gun
to everything kid and the kid I think

956
01:07:32.039 --> 01:07:39.440
he felt bad for yeah, because
he loved a kid outside of the McDonald's

957
01:07:39.480 --> 01:07:43.960
and he just the managers like,
rules are rules, son, This McDonald's

958
01:07:43.960 --> 01:07:47.559
is saying, yes, well,
I'll figure out which episode that is.

959
01:07:47.599 --> 01:07:49.440
You guys gotta go listen to the
episode if you have it, And we

960
01:07:49.519 --> 01:07:53.880
have a whole amazing archive of like
two hundred plus episodes. If you're new

961
01:07:53.920 --> 01:07:57.800
to the show, I highly recommend
go back and listen. Listen to Brittany

962
01:07:57.800 --> 01:08:00.760
and I through our journey one cool
than we do the shows. We don't

963
01:08:00.800 --> 01:08:02.360
just we don't discuss these cases,
we live them as well. So if

964
01:08:02.360 --> 01:08:05.880
you are new this is your first
episode, I highly suggest you take a

965
01:08:05.880 --> 01:08:09.920
look at some of the older episodes
and uh, kind of see what got

966
01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:13.480
us here. It's crazy that we
can say that now. Yeah, it's

967
01:08:13.519 --> 01:08:15.079
been a journey, hasn't it.
Yeah, all right, show me show

968
01:08:15.119 --> 01:08:21.000
me what you got man ripped off
by McDonald's. I was at a McDonald's

969
01:08:21.039 --> 01:08:26.479
topic ten dollars and these guys gave
me one burger and a prize and told

970
01:08:26.520 --> 01:08:30.239
me to pull around. This is
not a nine one one emergency. Don't

971
01:08:30.319 --> 01:08:31.479
get this is not a police matter. You need to take it up with

972
01:08:31.560 --> 01:08:35.239
the manager of McDonald I'm gonna got
rob for my money, sir. You

973
01:08:35.319 --> 01:08:39.319
did not get robbed you. I'm
going to disconnect with you now. I

974
01:08:39.640 --> 01:08:43.840
was at legdonald's. I gave youse
guys ten dollars. They gave me one

975
01:08:43.960 --> 01:08:47.399
burger and a fry and told me
to part Sorry. I believe he just

976
01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:51.720
talk to my partner a moment again. I love that he got hung up

977
01:08:51.800 --> 01:08:56.359
one and he called back. He
said, hey, fuck this guy,

978
01:08:57.680 --> 01:09:03.800
Ronald has my shit. Coume arrest
Ronald right now. Jesus Christ. No,

979
01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:06.439
And he advised you, this is
not a nine one one emergency.

980
01:09:06.960 --> 01:09:12.079
This is a nine one one emergency. I got rob for eight dollars.

981
01:09:13.199 --> 01:09:15.520
You cannot tell me I can call
nine one one and not get a cop

982
01:09:15.680 --> 01:09:18.560
right here? Can't you just tell
me I can't get a cop right here?

983
01:09:18.880 --> 01:09:26.800
Ages sick in the sundayside road.
I optors right now. Okay,

984
01:09:26.880 --> 01:09:30.079
stop listen. Nine on one is
for life or death emergencies. Only by

985
01:09:30.159 --> 01:09:33.039
you calling nine one one you can
be arrested. They listen to me.

986
01:09:35.079 --> 01:09:39.720
That's where it cuts off. I
would have loved to hear the rest of

987
01:09:39.760 --> 01:09:44.560
this conversation, oh boy, because
again the confidence of some people. If

988
01:09:44.600 --> 01:09:48.920
I had half the confidence that a
lot of people have, I would be

989
01:09:49.159 --> 01:09:54.159
president today. I would have found
a way around the age restriction law,

990
01:09:54.920 --> 01:09:56.800
and I would be a god.
I would be the god damn president.

991
01:09:56.800 --> 01:10:00.720
I'd be the leader of the free
world tomorrow because he's the nine of one

992
01:10:00.720 --> 01:10:02.479
offer. No, I'm gonna tell
you how to do your job, sir,

993
01:10:02.720 --> 01:10:05.880
Yeah the gum show. You don't
tell me a goddamn thing. All

994
01:10:05.960 --> 01:10:13.359
right, last time we have here
McDonald's call over missing orange juice. These

995
01:10:13.399 --> 01:10:16.520
are real, I swear to God. One do you need fire, medical

996
01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:23.880
or police? Yeah? This police? And what's the problem we're here McDonald?

997
01:10:24.479 --> 01:10:29.359
Which McDonald going on TV high work? Okay, and we're on TV

998
01:10:29.560 --> 01:10:34.159
highway. It's one TV high work, so you're out and you're in a

999
01:10:34.239 --> 01:10:41.159
looa then right, sure, okay, And what's the problem there this lady?

1000
01:10:41.640 --> 01:10:45.239
We ordered some food and we went
home that our order wasn't in there,

1001
01:10:45.880 --> 01:10:48.439
and my little brother's crying for his
orange juice and stuff, and we

1002
01:10:48.640 --> 01:10:51.840
came back with the receipt and everything, Hey can we have our order?

1003
01:10:51.920 --> 01:10:55.640
We paid for it, and she
was like, oh no, I can't

1004
01:10:55.640 --> 01:10:58.960
do anything about it. And she
was definitely my brother in love because he

1005
01:10:59.199 --> 01:11:02.800
ordered the food and he couldn't speak
English, right, And she's not even

1006
01:11:02.920 --> 01:11:08.439
showing up in the window now.
She said she told us that she was

1007
01:11:08.520 --> 01:11:13.079
gonna call the cops, and nobody
has showed up. And that's why I

1008
01:11:13.159 --> 01:11:18.880
called and she was being rude here
and you know, we wasted guys.

1009
01:11:19.000 --> 01:11:24.399
My dad came and everybody. I
want to somebody say my dad. My

1010
01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:27.560
dad wants like a mobl gere.
So I don't want to make a problem.

1011
01:11:27.720 --> 01:11:30.800
Yeah, I don't put some money
at all. Okay, okay,

1012
01:11:31.319 --> 01:11:47.520
sense of the sheer, confusion of
the operator, like what the fuck are

1013
01:11:47.520 --> 01:11:50.039
we supposed to do? Now?
If it actually went down like that,

1014
01:11:50.159 --> 01:11:54.439
that lady deserves to get her ass
me. But that you don't call the

1015
01:11:54.520 --> 01:11:58.279
cops for that. She deserves to
get fired if she's doing that to you

1016
01:11:58.479 --> 01:12:00.800
and your little brother. I agree, Now there was something right here.

1017
01:12:01.960 --> 01:12:04.640
You have to be kidding. Arrest
all of them, the girl McDonald's and

1018
01:12:04.760 --> 01:12:06.960
the customers. They have no right
to be calling nine on one for this

1019
01:12:08.079 --> 01:12:10.840
nonsense. I mean, that's true. And in the next top comment,

1020
01:12:11.359 --> 01:12:14.439
this was the most exciting thing that
happened in the lower organ in the last

1021
01:12:15.199 --> 01:12:18.199
all right, it's got a couple
more minutes left. Let's let's see how

1022
01:12:18.239 --> 01:12:25.560
this goes. Yeah, and what's
your name? Sorry? I'm sorry?

1023
01:12:25.600 --> 01:12:30.359
What right? All right? Ray? What's your last name? Man?

1024
01:12:30.159 --> 01:12:36.439
Well it please? Oh? Okay, okay, what kind of car are

1025
01:12:36.479 --> 01:12:42.239
you in there. We're on the
in the Chrysler three hundred. What colors

1026
01:12:43.640 --> 01:12:49.920
we're in a park Ala? Your
car blue, ma'am? Okay, all

1027
01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:57.760
right, we'll send them over there. Thank you. Bubell one police fire,

1028
01:12:57.840 --> 01:13:00.760
Max met Aical, Hello, Yeah, this e minute. Yeah,

1029
01:13:00.840 --> 01:13:04.199
this is I'm calling fy McDonald's.
I guess going because they have a plan

1030
01:13:04.319 --> 01:13:10.319
with some customers after they're selling.
After and that they doing what the customers

1031
01:13:10.399 --> 01:13:14.319
are, they complain about our food
and things like that, and they now

1032
01:13:14.439 --> 01:13:15.880
they don't want to move, and
they told me to call the police,

1033
01:13:15.920 --> 01:13:19.560
and yeah, I'm working here McDonald's
and aloha, I'm one of them.

1034
01:13:19.600 --> 01:13:26.000
A way the customers are complaining about
their food. Yeah, because we were

1035
01:13:26.000 --> 01:13:29.640
supposed to be given the food of
the room. Fool. And I make

1036
01:13:29.720 --> 01:13:31.880
the order and I showed that everything
was correct, capter, and they got

1037
01:13:31.960 --> 01:13:36.439
mad because they told me to give
it more food and I showed that I

1038
01:13:36.479 --> 01:13:41.000
can't give any free food away and
they show them and start showing me a

1039
01:13:41.039 --> 01:13:43.600
backwards and all that, and I
show them, you know what, if

1040
01:13:43.640 --> 01:13:45.560
you don't move from here. A
manifold the police and they told me,

1041
01:13:45.640 --> 01:13:48.399
okay, go ahead and call the
police and because we're not going to move.

1042
01:13:48.760 --> 01:13:53.000
And finally they move, like thirty
minutes ago, out of the try

1043
01:13:53.079 --> 01:13:59.600
too. And now they are up
there standing walking right by try to knocking

1044
01:13:59.680 --> 01:14:04.079
at the window and say that I
don't know what else I want upper Okay,

1045
01:14:05.279 --> 01:14:09.640
what is your name? My name
is Shellen, Helen, yes,

1046
01:14:10.199 --> 01:14:16.399
and your last name bless and phone
O. We're there. It's uh five,

1047
01:14:16.479 --> 01:14:23.119
book three. Okay, we have
to stop it there so no one

1048
01:14:23.239 --> 01:14:27.800
calls this McDonald's and creates a problem, but they end up dispatching the cop.

1049
01:14:27.920 --> 01:14:31.720
And again this dispatcher had the patience
of a goddamn saint. Did she

1050
01:14:31.920 --> 01:14:35.640
really really did? I also,
I will give advice real quick to anyone

1051
01:14:35.680 --> 01:14:40.399
who has to call and interact with
someone on nine one one. Give them

1052
01:14:40.479 --> 01:14:44.800
the situation as fast as possible.
Don't give them the whole your whole life

1053
01:14:44.920 --> 01:14:50.000
back story, and what type of
time and day their orange juice was produced

1054
01:14:50.680 --> 01:14:55.960
for the orange juice to be given
out, Be as precise as possible when

1055
01:14:56.000 --> 01:14:58.520
you're talking to them. Follow the
advice I got when I was a young

1056
01:14:58.600 --> 01:15:02.159
security guard learning how to incident reports. Facts not feelings. End of discussion.

1057
01:15:02.319 --> 01:15:04.680
Yep, don't tell them how you
feel how they're making you feel.

1058
01:15:05.119 --> 01:15:09.479
Unless you're being threatened, you feel
threatened. But it's get to the facts

1059
01:15:09.960 --> 01:15:13.840
right away. Don't waste any time, because the longer you're taking to explain

1060
01:15:13.920 --> 01:15:15.359
yourself, the longer it takes for
help to get to you. Correct.

1061
01:15:15.720 --> 01:15:19.079
I also love this comment. I
believe this video is exactly why my mama

1062
01:15:19.479 --> 01:15:23.880
makes me check my bag rich my
order food here before I leave the drive

1063
01:15:23.920 --> 01:15:26.800
through. Yeah, I do that, you don't I do? Yeah,

1064
01:15:26.880 --> 01:15:28.960
well, and it's weird. So
I have. I have the worst luck

1065
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:30.880
with fast food. You had the
worst luck if with food in general.

1066
01:15:31.199 --> 01:15:33.960
Yeah, you should be checking every
single piece of food you get, but

1067
01:15:34.039 --> 01:15:39.279
you never do. You know,
I'm a gambling man. I like you

1068
01:15:39.359 --> 01:15:42.439
know, the universe will provide for
me that day, and if it doesn't,

1069
01:15:42.680 --> 01:15:44.680
I had to work on something.
That's the way I see it.

1070
01:15:45.239 --> 01:15:48.279
I'm a double has let us on
it. I probably slighted someone. That

1071
01:15:49.800 --> 01:15:53.399
is not how you use things.
You take it as a personal attack,

1072
01:15:53.479 --> 01:15:58.039
if yours. I'm not saying that. I don't get upset, but if

1073
01:15:58.079 --> 01:16:02.640
I'm overly clear, I'm looking at
you right now, Skyline Chili, and

1074
01:16:02.760 --> 01:16:06.600
I explain to you the ingredients on
your own wrap, and I tell you

1075
01:16:06.760 --> 01:16:13.680
I want chicken cheese buffalo sauce,
and they're like, okay, so you

1076
01:16:13.760 --> 01:16:21.319
want that. Listen, tortilla grilled
chicken cheese buffalo sauce. That's what I

1077
01:16:21.319 --> 01:16:25.319
would like. And then I get
home and it has lettuce and mayonnaise in

1078
01:16:25.399 --> 01:16:30.760
it. I'm probably gonna beat the
shit out of principle at that point.

1079
01:16:31.960 --> 01:16:35.279
Every big guy out there knows what
I'm saying right now, and they get

1080
01:16:35.319 --> 01:16:40.920
it. End of discussion. You're
not gonna convincity of us otherwise. So

1081
01:16:41.079 --> 01:16:43.199
with that being said, Miss Brittany, the only thing that I have left

1082
01:16:43.279 --> 01:16:45.960
to add is go check out the
Tennessee Haunts and Legends Expo, get your

1083
01:16:46.000 --> 01:16:48.279
tickets, come see us. Do
you have anything else that you'd like to

1084
01:16:48.319 --> 01:16:53.119
add? Make sure you guys stay
tuned for our next United Strangest of America.

1085
01:16:53.279 --> 01:16:55.359
I couldn't have said it better myself. So with that being said,

1086
01:16:55.399 --> 01:16:58.199
Miss Brittany, I think we're gonna
have to add This episode of nine one

1087
01:16:58.279 --> 01:18:00.760
one calls to our never ending but
are always growing tails from the dark day

1088
01:18:00.520 --> 01:18:11.479
at the time of