Snakes, asshole. Yeah, no, I get it, Patrick. It's
a daring feeder. A diamondback can kill you. You don't, It really
can't. And I always thought that, like, oh, the top three
most poisonous snakes in the United States, Like, if you get bit,
you die instantaneously, And it's just not the case. I mean, you'll
be violently ill and you could die, but you'll really just feel like a
searing pain and wherever it bit you, and you do want to keep your
legs elevated, but you probably won't die. You'll just be incredibly sick.
Well, you have to drink your friend's pee. Huh. Welcome up Bore,
another brand spanking episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan.
I'm sidled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Great to be here.
Permission to come aboard granted. So what do we do about this? You
want to have Kaylen say? Hi? Yeah, are we doing producer or
anything yet? Oh? Yeah, I think it's a little early on to
give them that. Yeah, okay, um, Hi, that's it.
Hi, that's him. That's him, all right, very thrown off by
the whole thing. Okay, I understand something different, new, something new.
Yeah, we fear change. How you doing, I'm doing wonderful.
Yeah, yes, ye, numbers are up. I want to thank the
audience for that. Thanks for sharing the show. Numbers are up. Thank
you guys very much. We love you very much. Keep telling your friends,
keep telling your family, keep stealing credit cards, and go to Patreon
dot com slash another podcast network. New tiers have been updated. We won't
touch them anymore, but a new tiers announced. Twelve dollars tier is the
uncensored tier. All of the bleeps will be gone. You will hear all
of the things that could get us canceled. And should we get any bigger
than we already are, you can go to UM I don't know whatever publication
that will have you share the audio. Yeah, exactly, be unemployable for
the rest of our lives. So that'll be fun. So go do that.
Patreon dot com slash another podcast network. And if we haven't done this
in a while, but if you're strapped for cash, like if you if
you don't have twelve dollars, pat sorry to throw this on you, but
you're a very very industrious young man. So what's what's a way that somebody
could get twelve bucks? Well, you can volunteer at a rest home and
rest home what's that, well, arrest home. You know where a bunch
of old blue hairs live, you know where they drink out straws and eat
baby food. Yeah yeah, yeah, so volunteer there is it's so funny
that the spectrum of our existence, it's how we come into the planet,
yeah, and how we go out right right right, that's right. Yeah,
so you're shedding your pants and eating jello, same thing, yeah,
just a little bit older. Um, So what you do is you go,
they'll have you volunteer. I don't know. Maybe you have a skill
set. You play guitar, Maybe you know how to I don't know,
maybe you know how to teach someone a different language. You never too old
to learn Spanish, you know, So you volunteer, you well you it
might be too old. You could be a or some of them. Yeah
yeah, yeah, that'll pay more than twelve dollars. And that's an example
of something that we might want to believe. Well mine was much more sinister.
You volunteer, and they don't lock those rooms, right, and so
what you do is you go in there. A lot of old people,
they can't stop themselves they hide their money under their bed, right, you
just steal their money and then you go to patreon dot com, slash into
the podcast network and give us a five bucks or twelve. Actually a super
good idea. So jump of the comments, YouTube, Patreon, iTunes,
ratings and reviews. Love you guys so much. The reviews have been absolutely
unbelievable, to recipes, the five stars, the kind words, thank you,
thank you, thank you. At the end, I'll read reviews.
So um, we have to get into the episode. What an episode it
was? Yes, hey, less than triumphant return of our favorite captain Lee.
How many pots are you going to give tonight's episode of pollow Deck,
Well, Dylan, interestingly enough, I'd rather use my time to rather than
give my thoughts and pots to actually share with the audience. The news very
upsetting. There will be no reunion. Sure that was shared to us and
verified by one Katie who's on the show. We had a great interview with
her, an interview coming later this week. And yeah, she was upset.
She just heard the news, right, And then I go on,
you know, uh, Alyssa had already posted what Bravo sent them. He
said, I'll keep your mouth shut there's no fucking reunion. And I was
like, why no reunion because Kaa asked her said I don't know, and
I was like pondering, and I'm like, well, Rache told us last
year she wasn't fucking showing up. You and I have excuse me a privately
talk and talk to him for weather. And it's the weather, but but
it's it's wet weather. We've had so much right now, it's not dry
at all. We've got so much rain. All right, Well, anyway,
Alyssa said, can you not laugh so much? Please? My god,
I can't help himself. Can't help it. Okay, and then so
Ross isn't going, Alysta is not going. And then I thought, actually,
you know what it well, I think it might be a little squabble
over that Sandy and Lee for who gets uh, you know, lead title
of captain. You've made a grave mistake here, really, you've not announced
that you are dawning a certain TFSA. Okay, this is a tinfoil cap.
However, I actually have the audio of Sandy and Captain Lee trying to
work this out, and Andy, all right, here we go, press
play Kaylin, this is Lee. Look Sandy it's my boat. I want
to answer all the question Johnny Reunion. They said, uh, yeah,
you basically missed the whole season. Lee, Well, I know, how
about I throwing a bone for an old shee dog here? I don't think
so, Sandy. Let me ask you something. Have you ever touched a
place? Only four people on earth have gotten that far with their tongue?
Severy people have died? So can I talk to Andy? Please? Okay?
No? So they couldn't agree, right, and that's when Andy just
pulled the plug on the whole fucking thing, right right, right, Lee
is very vulgar outside of the production of the show. Why did he swear
I didn't? I didn't wasn't listen? No, no, I mean speaking
of the kind of Latin terms for the deepest recesses of the anal track like
that. I'd never heard anything like that, plica for salas. You're basically
touching the bottom of the stomach at that point. Okay, can you imagine
a tongue getting up there? Give the man his due? Let him talk
to Andy? Okay, all right, right, Um, so you are
not going to give any pots because what did acquiring that audio take? Too
much out of you all right, Dylan, fine, you'll pulled it out
of me. I actually enjoyed the episode. We were shitting on Laquisha a
little bit more. That was fun boy. They hate Wow, what a
microbres and from you hug my god or name's liquis. I enjoyed the episode.
Food was pretty good. I'm curious to hear what you have to say
about that dinner. Are you mean the surf and turf? Yeah? Yeah,
sure, yeah, I'm excited to get there. And uh, I
don't know. Uh Rachel was interesting. Uh yeah, good, good episode
over all, four knots. Yeah, tonight was really cool because of how
important Wind played a role um or how important a role Wind played, um,
you know we we had had some people say this was kind of like,
um, a respite from all the drama. Glad we're back to below
deck. Uh. This isn't the blow deck that I want to be back
at. I don't want to be back with Captain times Share and um tepid
tame birthday celebrations that are not at clubs that are in the main salon.
I found it to be a rather uninspiring episod. Sound ninety pots okay,
so um let's get into it. We don't not right now, so we
cheers to prosperity and we join Captain timeshare in her timeshare. Um, she
was, Oh, what's that, Sandy, It's fifteen fucking minutes before dinner.
Can you not be a child at a reptile exhibit right now? Because
that's what you're like right now. You're just pointing at things and you're asking,
what's that? What's that? And it's not the time, but Rachel
is m Rachel feels secure knowing that she's about to get, you know,
dearly departed leave the boat because her and Lee have been texting these sayings back
and forth to one another that don't make any sense, and quite frankly,
it's not helping Rachel's kind of mental forever what she's going through. Yeah,
she's going crazier and crazy. Now I should point out Dylan that Sandy,
while she knows Lee is coming back to the boat, she's not going to,
uh, I guess give the information, that information to the rest of
the crew. I guess because she says he's old and one slip in the
bathtub, you know, for those old bastards, they'll you know, that
could be the end of them. We talked about the dangers of falls many
times the elderly, and once again, it's very similar to babies. A
fall is bad for them too. Um. The table is set for dinner.
Um. It is an explosion of rose petals surrounding a single sternow burner.
Um. And the rest of the table is pretty much empty. Um.
Just a stunning display of table escaping. I mean, where's bugs when
you need her? I know, while she's writing all those books about tablescaping.
Yeah, hey you know, um Nick is the only person that ever
bought any copies. Yeah, they bought three. Yeah, they're still here.
Yeah. By the way, listeners, if you want one, you
got to pay for the post to jall mail one to you. Yeah.
All right. So dinner service is very odd because Fraser's running around with his
fucking head cut off, and he's got two stus vacuuming hair extensions up down
in those guest gabins. Yeah, come on, Frasier, you're still you
know, Sandy gives him his due excuse me for a full transformation at some
point in this charter. He hasn't changed one fucking bit. He's still overworking
himself, till three in the morning. He's not delegating properly. The only
missing thing here is is Alyssa. Yeah, he hasn't transform at all.
Well, transformations usually don't take place over the course of twenty four to thirty
six hours, and we'll get to the text messages and we'll get to the
public displays of pride and whatnot. But well, they do happen, Dylan.
There's a little show called twenty four Hours From to Hell and Back with
Ran Ramsey where he goes into a restaurant in twenty four hours. Yeah,
he transformed, transforms a restaurant where the kitchen and the fresier freezer had shrimp
from nineteen ninety nine and they're rotting that they were about to serve people,
And in twenty four hours, with some pain on the walls and obviously some
cockroach removal, he's able to put that business back on its feet in twenty
four Not only that, some really really aggressive depth psychology of Gordon Ramsey just
screaming at people until they realize all of the trappings of their lives and they
fix it instantaneously. You know. They go from letting fish rot, cooking
it and serving it to unsuspecting victims to a upstanding, passionate culinary member of
those arts. So, um, yeah, it was how I stand corrected.
So Johnny sees the table wants a hug. Obviously, Frady just gotta
leave room for the holy ghost there because I feel like he could get a
little poke in the stomach if he doesn't. If you get into close,
Johnny's all hopped up. Dinner is going to be drumroll, please steak.
But before we get to, yes, steak in an eighties party. This
is not the blowdeck. I want to go back to. This is carbon
copy. This this carbon copy. Um, we have to talk about the
wind and how it's not going to do anything, and how in fifteen minutes
we'll talk without any issues. Sandy's up all night. She didn't sleep a
wink. She's up all night. So dinner is sir. First course is
Caesar salad, the King of salads. Um. This gets the crew pretty
rowdy. Johnny starts pumping and moving his hips on one of the older women
in her ass falls out. Um fuck I like it. Um. I
get a little botox, a little lift here or there, whatever makes you
feel cover girl, But when you're sixty years old, Why do you have
what do you have? Plastic in your ass? And you're amongst friends too.
I mean you can take the pageant or that you can take the girl
out of the Picks universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? What
am I trying to say? You can take the girl out of the pageant
industry. You can't take the horrors of the pageant industry out of the girl.
I think I think that's it. Yeah, Dylan, wait till you're
sixty, and then from that point of view, you can you can evaluate
whether or not people should have fake asses, you know what I mean.
No, we don't want to not get old. It's it's our personal business.
I don't want to get old. I want to look handsome. I
want to be like Tom Cruise. Do you stuff socks and your fucking pants
to make it look like you're cocks bigger when you're going to an event with
close friends except for Lakeish, No, right. I think it's a little
sick and a little sad that this woman's putting plastic shit in her ass and
she's not securing it well at all. Johnny was barely face fucking her and
it fell out. So moving on, the next course is obviously surf and
turf. It's blowdeck and these people are paying sixty thousand dollars a day,
so it's shrimp. It's filet mignon. You can get this at Outback Steakhouse,
and you can get it marginally less delicious. There's no gold leaf at
Outback Steakhouse, but it is significantly cheaper, and I mean fifty nine thousand
five yeah, a lot cheaper. Um now um. I was shocked that
Laquis wasn't pissed that Rage was doling out that stick or gold right like you
would in kindergarten classed all the little kindergartens, everyone gets a sticker. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, I thought that was nice Rage. I think she
did it to intentionally piss Lakisha. Yeah, well Lakis is, like Lakis
is a fierce capitalist, right, So fucking old Carl's back there just doling
out all these fucking things evenly to people. It's really discussing. And I
was on Lakisha's side. No one else requested gold leaf. There would be
no gold leaf if this, this this innovating robber baron hadn't have asked for
it. So anyways, let's talk about Hayley. Um, and the time
when she found out that she knew that she thought she might be gay.
Um. Jerry Hallwell, Ginger Spice, Ginger Spy. Now, um,
I don't know if you you were probably at the age. It's not a
perfect analogue, but it's like when Little Zan was running around. That's like
how I felt about Little Zan, Like she was just a little too for
the children. Yes, Um, how did you feel about the Spice Tent
when the Spice Girls hit? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean that
cough is so bad. I was so attracted to sporty Spice. I mean
it's unbelievable. I'm gonna drink some taiko. Yeah, it's like all of
the aspartame is crystallizing in kind of like a fiberglass network of tendrils. And
when air goes down eurosophagus. I feel better. Now, would you go
get a cat's scan for me or something? I'm fine, I'm fine,
Jesus. I'm apologized for equating the Spice Girls to a little Zanna. Okay,
the Spice Girls were so much more cultural league relevant um then lozann Is,
and they were immensely talented. Maybe not, um, but who's your
favorite spice girl, Sporty, Spice, Sporty. I think she was the
only one that could really sing Melsie No, yeah, Melsey, Yeah,
I think so too. Baby Spice couldn't sing Jerry Hallwell, couldn't singh posh.
Spice definitely couldn't sing Victoria Beckham. Are you kidding me? My favorite
spice girl obviously Melby. I think bell By right, I'm melb Yeah,
scary Spice. Yeah, so hot, very hot, so hot. Yeah.
I had a kid with Eddie Murphy. You know he's pretty sure that
really. Yeah, he's pretty mad about that. You know. Eddie Murphy
used to frequent that coffee being over on Whitsitt Ventura. Is that right?
Yeah? Wow? Seen him. There a lot of coke deals go on
there, you know, really yeah. I think there's a Jim Boree next
door. So that's sad. Wow. All right, So Sandy cannot dock
again. Sandy is speaking of how she cannot doc and we get to the
eighties party. Pat anything on this horse, a horse that has been beat
to I mean, it's like, leave the carcass alone at this point,
you know, it's just ridiculous to keep going back here. Yeah, it
was sad we only got about a minute of the party, maybe even less.
Yeah, they apparently had a great time, but don't enough to tip.
Well, let's get to the next day. Then next morning, Tony
is pumping and Frasier is ambushing Haley because it is her birthday. Now,
more on that later, but first, should we talk about the tension with
the deck crew. The deck crew, because the deck crew is usually pretty
decent. You know, they're just sea rats. They're above ground sea rats,
right, they get to soak in the d they get to work with
their hands, they don't have to interface too much with the ridiculous demands of
the quasi wealthy. It's rare for them to have this kind of in fighting.
Now we're on episode fourteen, and this is the first time that Editing
decides to point out that little Katie there's a little bossy pants. I hadn't
notice. I actually thought she might be a ranking above Tony because the way
she talks. And we've talked about this before, but it is kind of,
um what do I don't want to make accusations of misogyny, but it
is. It's a little throwing when you refer to women as little you're right
how I talk about Lee. I'm fine with how you talk about Lee.
And Lee is a sea dog. You know, if you're going to talk
about eating your employees ass, then we can fucking say whatever we want about
you, because that's ridiculous. It's it's really inappropriate. But yeah, Katie
is little, Katie is this is a little bossy pants. You know she
is little? Yeah? She is? Uh and Katie is lovely. I
can't wait for you guys to listen to that interview. Just a sweetheart,
just wanted to be at that reunion, just in Florida, just doing see
wretch hit, just not bothering anybody, just working boat shows, just working
boat shows. Yeah, hey, can I get back to the Hailey thing
for one, Her and Rodeo from Rock of Love we're probably in the same
industry. Oh yeah, yeah, well Rodeo is trying to sell rooms on
cruise ships, got it? Yeah? Yeah, Jesus Christ more sad.
Yeah, Hailey, as you pointed out, lets us know today is her
birthday and uh, it's going to be all about her, right that is
until she walks in and she says to a guest, Hey, did you
know it's my birthday and the guest says, great, are they making omelets?
Yeah? Yeah. It's really sad because when you're working in a service
industry like this, the guests they might pretend to care, but it's really
not about you at all. How do you feel about a mushroom omelet?
And that wasn't a joke. I was asking you how you personally felt about
a mushroom cough is so bad, I'm dying. You do love one?
I love it a mushroom momlet? Really? Yeah? I had one this
weekend. I can't believe that I did. There was spinach in it too.
Were the mushrooms wet? No, they were very dry. Were they
button? I don't know. They were sliced and diced. Okay. I
often find that when ordering fungus in a diner or dinet kind of setting,
they can often be gummy and wet. You never had one on a burger
at a diner. I'm not a big schroom burger guy. Oh they're wonderful.
Oh come on, man, I mean, there are plenty of applications
for mushrooms. Mushrooms are delicious. I'm not trying to shade mushrooms. But
anyways, let's move on. So um Frazier has led himself out of the
abyss. It has been thirty six hours. He has undergone a twenty four
hours to helen back kind of transformation into the gay that Sandy knows he can
be. Well, she actually sends him a nice text message. Yeah,
she says, your head doesn't smell like a dead swordfish anymore. Way to
go, buddy. Oh and someone mentioned like, um that we pause too
much. Yeah, well that's you, not me. It's mostly me.
Yeah yeah, but you know it also had a problem with you eating chips
in the microphone. Well that was on Patreon and that was a once a
one time thing and did it two shows you ate the chips too? And
listen, you know I vape. I'm trying to get better. We're covering
um life after lock Up, Women Women Entertainment's Life after lock Up and seeing
the amount of m X drug traffickers and habitual offenders, which is a term
I had no idea existed, seeing that all of them. Vape is really
doing a lot. You know, people have like stop smoking, but via
this book or this therapy, watch Love after lock Up and see the kinds
of people the vape that will make you want to stop. So maybe we'll
stop pausing, or I'll stop pausing soon. Anyways, moving on, Tony
heads down and the feud between he and Katie continues, and once again Sandy
cannot sleep because of these wins. I mean she's up all night. Now.
This is where Tony confides in Ben that Katie is a little bossy pants
and that he's not going to take it anymore. He might snap, he
says. And we've talked about how Tony did I call him Eddie or Tony?
Well, Eddie is the character from Techen that he reminds me of.
And so if you know anything about Techan and you know anything about Eddie,
if Tony were to snap, there could be some serious harm done to Katie.
I mean a capital were a flying dance kick to the face over the
bow, it could be bad. So I'm glad that they smoothed things out.
So we go around for the breakfast and we get kyrons at the dietary
restrictions of some of the guests. Two of them are no restrictions and the
other is no ram meat, which are two restrictions that I feel like are
pretty easy. I mean, it's essentially, you can cook whatever you want,
and you can cook whatever you want outside of sushi and tartar. Yeah.
Row Rage doesn't take it that way. Yeah, she's on Shotter Island.
She's not a fan of that. Andrew the charter guess she refers to
as a fucking horass bitch. Jesus, thank god you in order a turkey
sandwich. Yeah, oh, you're about to cough again. No, no,
I'm fine, Yeah, there is. It's crazy. So um we
head for the windy docking and it's time too. I cut it, done
it with my eyes, clothes, with my tongue two meters up in a
diamond back's ring piece, a snake's asshole. Yeah, no, I get
it, Patrick, it's a daring feeder. A diamond back can kill you,
you know, it really can't. And I always thought that, like,
oh, the top three most poisonous snakes in the United States, Like
if you get bit, you die instantaneously, And it's just not the case.
I mean, you'll be violently ill and you could die, but you'll
really just feel like a searing pain and wherever it bit you, and you
do want to keep your legs elevated, but you probably won't die, You'll
just be incredibly sick. Well, you have to drink your friend's pe Huh,
yeah, you're in you have to drink it. I think so,
you think so? You think the remedy for a snake bite is for a
friend to pull their your wreath route and just aim for your mouth. I
thought I read that once. Oh my god, man, So m breakfast
is French toast, more yogurt for a lakish, and pairs lakish? What
do you do? And nobody orders pairs? Nobody wants a pair outside of
the holidays if they come in an ornate box. But pairs are really merely
an underwhelming fruit most of the time. Well, I only disagree with you
because I just went to a restaurant lately. I ordered a pair of martini
a dim Tai fung, and it was delicious. You are the gayest straight
man I know. And listen, I'm not trying to like, I'm not
trying to shame you for your order. It's cool. I wish I had
the bravery to order a bravery, the bravery or the sas to order a
pair of martini, But that sounds disgusting. Oh, it was delicious.
I ordered two. Yeah, what else? Do you get a dentifu?
Oh? I got the poor chops? Okay, got the pot stickers of
course. What's that cold salad? Noodle salad? It's delicious cold noodle salad.
Assess me. That sounds about rights. What did you you take Elliott
with you? No? No, no, just you and the wife.
A date with me and the wife on a Friday after you and I recorded,
did you guys have sex after? No? No, she's very pregnant.
Okay, oh you almost coughed again. Wow, that's cool. It's
a nervous cough now. All right, so let's move on. But before
we do, let's take a quick break for a lovely word from our sponsor,
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I don't. Yeah, and that is a because I'm happy to pay them,
Dylan, right, because things that you subscribe to you enjoy, and
you should keep subscribing generally in general, generally speaking, if we're talking about
our Patreon, then absolutely. If we're talking about neom, which you haven't
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dot Com slash belowdeck and honestly, you know it helps the show go and
do this because it really is it automatically just and it just helps you.
You know, you're all over the place with all these different credit cards.
You got some here, you got some here, you get a paypall there.
It's just it's a mess. Still. It was also free up their
wallet, you know, two, get up to that twelve dollars tier.
We're off right now, yeah, you know, into the mic. Huh
huh wow. All right, so um, missus Classic Universe to part the
boat and she dons Captain Sandy with a cape that looks to be poisoning her.
It might be like burning her flash a little bit. Who do you
think lesbians hate more gay men or former pageant women? Well, I think
if we're going to say former pageant when we have to say what it actually
is, she absolutely one percent paid for that title. Okay, you think
there's businesses that do that. They say, hey, you want to join
this pageant for a Classic Miss Universe. It's you know, it's four hundred
dollars to enter and there's only ten participants. And then you know, guess
what most people get classic Miss Universe and then you can walk around saying you
are class Classic Miss Universe. Well so it's kind of like um, like
becoming a reverend. Kind of like on the internet, you can actually marry
people. It used to happen with me. I used get these companies all
the time. When I own that tour company, they call me and they
say, hey, we're the board of I don't know what the fuck the
Chamber of Commerce. I'm like, Chamber of Commerce. Well not really,
but we're a board of something. Anyway, we think we want to rate
you and bestow you number one tour in Los Angeles. We'll send you a
nice little plaque. Yah office, right right, Well, go's how's that
happened? They said, we'll send us a check for ninety nine bucks.
Yeah. I said, you know what, you can shove that up your
ass. You know what I did. I went and I bought stickers that
said I was the number one tour on Hollywood Boulevard, and I put them
on the side of every one of my tour buses. I didn't have to
pay ninety nine bucks. Yeah, that's why I threw to you to tell
people how to get that twelve dollars and you did a bang up job.
But yeah, when we formed the LLC, I was constantly getting mail about
how this company could offer us our OSHA protocols but laminated for two hundred and
fifty dollars. I was like, this mail seems really important. It's got
really intense lettering in the front and in red and says I have to open
immediately, And it was about Osha Laminated protocols. So, um, we
have to get to Lakeish heading out in a misguided, haphazard, very sad
kind of way. It would seem that when you are this ruthless to people
in the service industry, Hayley said she was a fart. Yeah. Um,
it speaks a lot to your character and those people usually don't have very
close friends. Um. But the important thing is how did they tip Patrick?
Well, Dylan, it wasn't a good tip. It was eighteen thousand
excuse me, that's fifteen twenty five each. It's the lowest tip of the
season and quite honestly, a slap in the face. Disgusting. Wow,
Yeah, quite honestly a slap in the Quite honestly a slap in the face.
Yeah, are you gonna go to a doctor. I'm gonna after we've
record this, I'm gonna go and take something. Take something. What do
you mean? I would drink some honey honey cough medicine. It's gonna make
me want to throw up at least will stop. Yeah. Yeah, so,
um Frazier is a phoenix reborn in this tip meeting. Sandy has been
to a lot of leadership conferences, and I think a thematic kind of action
item is like last impression, final impression. So Sandy knows that she has
to leave an imprint on these people. If she's going to depart the boat,
she needs to remind Frasier that she is the greatest leader he's ever encountered
in his life. And in doing so or two do so, she gives
him a big, big hug in front of everybody and commends him for the
change, and in so doing kind of commence herself as well. Absolutely,
yeah, yeah, she puts the shine on him. Because she's putting the
shine, that means that she's actually the ultimate shiner. The ultimate Shiner's obnoxious.
Where is this preference sheet? It's coming up right now, it's right
before. But I will say Ross speaks with Katie about being bossy, and
she gets a little defensive, right. She's thinking, you know, hey,
I do more work from these guys. I should get to tell him
what to do. And he says, you know, let's just not create
any problems. We only got a couple more charges left. She gets it.
Yeah, And then we get to the preference shape. Man, now
do you want to set this up? Now? Why don't you set it
up? There's big shoes to fill here. Yeah. So, um,
Nick did a bang up job with the preference sheet. Uh. Nick kind
of let everyone know what the guests were all about, um, and also
clude people in onto various statistics about the NFL water parks you know whatever.
Details, Yeah, important details. Um. So that has kind of left
a void. Um, you and I are really not up to task.
I mean we've got an entire show to cover. Um. So Pat texted
me last night and said, should we have Kaylin do the preference sheet meeting?
Now? Obviously I said no, said um, but with a little
bit of convincing. Um. Pat kind of manipulated me in in kind of
like a morbid angle, like let's see how it is and we can fuck
with him and stuff like that. So I guess we're going to be throwing
now to Kaylin to do the preference sheet meeting, ran Kayle all right.
Jake Clompton primary charter guest, a commercial real estate financer and the president of
a national commercial mortgage broke it brokerage firm. Not a good start at Chicago.
That's a tough one. Yeah, yeah, I mean he's into it
all right. Jake will be joined by a group of business associates. Primary
would like a steel drummer to be playing when he and his guests sit down
to eat their first meal aboard. On day two, the Primary is requesting
that he and his guests be taken to the beach for high energy games led
by the yacht crew. Are you switching the cameras while you do this?
Well, there's not a camera on me, no, I know, but
so you got to switch back and forth while you're doing the preference chiet meeting.
Wow, am I a dick? I know? Okay? Yeah,
production meeting? Yeah, okay, um, to which Frasier says that he
thinks preferably they should go to the beach with the swamp. I believe was
his phrasing, Oh swamp, that's probably that bad beach has a hyperdemic needles
there. Yeah. Can you watch the show, your football kid, you
watch the show. Yeah, it's a horrible beach. Okay, I'm confused
as to why he's pitching that they go there. Yeah, okay, I
thought I misheard. No, no, no, just a little note like
you could say something like Frasier wants them to go back to that hypodermic needle
ridden beach or something. You know. I'm not I don't want to just
go ahead, go ahead, my bad. All right, Well, the
crew should make the yacht feel like a nightclub with Djer's guest drinking danced throughout
the evening. Sandy says, somehow, I think they'll challenge you on every
level. Anybody play football or anything. Yeah, I don't play football,
but I'm familiar with the game. The crew, she's not asking about you,
he's asking about the people on the on the preference sheet. The preference
is that anyone there play football. Yeah, yeah, are coming up.
No, there's no football player. Did you do any research into their lives
or anything like that? Into Jake Clampton? Yeah no, I didn't look
into Jesus Christ. It's a good start, delling. Yeah, I think
so too. Great job, Klin, great job. I feel like I
kind of know what these people. Their expectations are better than I would do,
much better than I would do. Great job, Thank you. Um,
how do you feel you did? Like B? Maybe B plus?
Definitely not that, but I mean still no, I don't think we will.
I think we'll settle on something lower. But well, you know,
I thought it was a good job. I got a couple meanwhiles. I
should bang out. Yeah, we do have a couple of meanwhiles. This
episode is riddled with Meanwhile, it just jumps all over place. Meanwhile,
Hayley chats with a boyfriend. She is a lovely person, but she picks
her knows the entire time while she does it. Yeah. Meanwhile, the
red haired cake arrives. Meanwhile, a Frasier recounts the time his penis was
saved from entering a vagina by a helpful jellyfish. Yeah. Um, his
disdain or vagina is um uh spoken quite openly around the um. The quiet,
soft spoken, often Judgie and bitchy Tyler. Um. I think Tyler
left the um. What do you call that room? Why do I not
know what that room is? Called? The galley? The galley, the
kitchen, yeah, yeah, yeah, the kitchen. Yeah. So he
leaves the galley and um, poor kid was eating a bowl of Ceiley's here
in this story. Yeah yeah, and Tyler's not ready for that right now.
But um, it wasn't a funny tale. I think the blue Bucks
jellyfish or something like that is one of the most poisonous animals on planet Earth.
So I hope that person's okay. Can you imagine if that jellyfish was
just like sixty seconds late and and Frasier entered the girl and he's like,
fuck, this sucks, and then he gets stung by the jellyfish and they
both die. Yeah. Great, right, it's like an episode of Seinfeld.
All right, so let's get fucked up. Um, but first,
it's cake time. Haley says that she wants to slam her head on the
cake and get covered in jizz. What in God's name is going on it?
Wow? Girl, Tony and Katie mend the seams and what. Haley
recounts the story of something that happened to her last year on her birthday.
We're in She got fucked up and shot a bunch of pink. I don't
know what she's shit pink, I think so. I think she was shitting
herself. It wasn't a great birthday party, but this year is pretty good.
She said, Hey, let's just all lepento. What a party girl,
party girl. I mean it's crazy. Patty likes a party girl.
I love a party girl. Yeah. I should have dated Whitney Houston before
she passed. Well, yeah, I mean you would have been dragged into
the uh the bowels of drug use? Or do you think that was Bobby?
That was all Bobby? Right? Yeah? Yeah? Did Whitney smoke
crack before she met Bobby? That's what they alleged. They said he got
her addicted to crack right, um? And then black love and sues wherein
I believe he is And we may need to bleep this, but he is,
um, he or she are reaching their hands into the the asshole asshole.
Yeah, she had, she was consipated, so he had he needed
to pull out a what was blocking her her anal cavity, which was shit.
Yeah, that's love right there, man? Why did you say it
like a Jamaica? All right? So, um, next day, Ross
is running a little late, and I don't know if the word for ship
and masturb it are different in England. But I think he said he was
beating off. Yeah. Yeah, the new stew is arriving and guess what
chiefs to experience. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes,
this is what we need. We need a mutiny of foot and that's
exactly what we might possibly not get with Leanne the new arrival. Um.
She and Ben never consummated their um see rat Yeah, they just kind of
sexed and sent nips and dicks. By the way, Thank god I was
too old by the time this all came in. My dick would be fucking
everywhere. And these kids, they got no goddamn discretion these days. Yeah,
Bensie's or He's like, hey, I see in her naked. I
got a bunch of pictures on my phone of her. She gets on the
boat right and she says, hey, let me read some passages of our
little Yeah, right right, right right? What the hell? Yeah?
And you know what's so funny to think about, like the eye cloud hacks
of um actresses who did not consent and stuff like that. You know,
when you take a nude I would imagine it's like any picture wherein you have
to click a couple of times to get the angle to lighting. You gotta,
you know, sure, where there's one new, there's probably three or
four. And if those are sitting in an eyecloud somewhere, I mean,
my god, I don't want to say treasure trove because I'm pretty confident that
ninety percent of the nudes out there not any nudes that anybody wants to see.
I mean, think about any of the people in love after lock up.
I mean, those nudes are probably flying all over the cloud, you
know. You know, the only nude I ever took is when I was
dating Crazy Laana before I went on tour with a band. We both took
polaroids of each other's junk, right, polaroids polaroid analog Matt and anyway,
I came back from that tour, she was bitching a little too much,
so we broke up. She was bitching a little too yeah, yeah,
christ So we broke up. And then ten years later, I'm moving in
with Shari and I'm going through my old crap, yeah, and outfalls that
polaroid of naked Lana. Wow. I was like, I want to keep
this. Yeah. I was like, you can't cut it into a bunch
of pieces, and through it and the try you cut it into a bunch
of pieces. I want a homeless guy to find it and beat off to
it, you know, right right right, But you did one last time.
I did not, sir, dare you? Yeah, you took a
ship to it one last time? Oh no no, yeah no, I'm
not that kind of guy. You're not that kind of guy. Okay,
all right, So we're wrapping up the episode here. Um, sorry for
this evening. It's we're a little off. I'm very fatigued. Pat's probably
dying. Um, and you heard that preference meeting. Yeah, you know.
Anyway, so, um, the quick thing on Lee and she loves
speedch she's like a dude, you know she Um, she's from Cape Town.
Um, and she's gonna try to get to the top as quick as
she possibly can. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
Um. By the way, she is non gender conforming, she is into
masculine shit. She loves speed, she loves thrills, she loves fucking sending
nudes, and she loves fucking fucking dick. So unfortunate news. Lee is
coming back, and we bid a jew captain Sandy together. Um, how
do we feel, I mean, I feel like, way two more episodes
left? Who gives a shit? Well no, but I want they said.
By the way, I almost stopped dead in my tracks watching the episode,
Fraser says to Hayley at Somebody's like, we're halfway through the charter seas,
I was like, what they only have two more episodes left? Where
that was episode fourteen? There's normally only sixteen and then two reunions or whatever.
Um, Well, Leah's back, obviously heartbreaking. Captain Sandy has devolved
into timeshare once again, obviously heartbreaking, and she departs with a very captain
time share line about being in the trenches with the people aboard this vessel known
as Saint David. Now, um, you and I are fans of history,
so we know that being in the trenches means contending with someone's lobbing a
fucking grenade in your hole. Man grenade, not a bunch of sea rats
mouthing off calling you by your first name. Not sea rats, but definitely
rodentia that are flesh hungry, insatiable, and we'll crawl and bite really anywhere
into your um. What do they call that? What do they call uniforms?
Your military guard? What are they called what do you think they cams?
No, no, no, it's uniforms. But it's like, um,
oh gosh, what is it? All right, Pat, say goodbye
to everybody. All right, everybody, we're leaving. You should, Kaylen
say goodbye military uniform? What the hell are these things called? I mean,
my god, somebody in the comments let us know what the hell these
things are called. We'll do reviews next week. Sorry for this episode,
again, fatigued, he's dying. We're coaching up, kaylin. Um,
we love you guys very very much. That's it for me. I'm saying
goodbye, Dylan saying goodbye Pat, say goodbye later, dudes,