WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:04.120 This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf I Am six forty the 2 00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:09.560 Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. This is the Doctor 3 00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:12.400 Wendy Walls Show. I'd like to welcome my Instagram audience. If you would 4 00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:15.199 like to come on into the studio and see what we're doing, just log 5 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:20.839 onto Instagram. The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh at Dr Wendy Welsh. 6 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.519 Also, I put the phone number up there because after this segment, I'm 7 00:00:24.519 --> 00:00:29.559 going to be taking your relationship questions for my drive by Makeshift Relationship Advice. 8 00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:34.840 So, but first I have to talk about this show, the idol. 9 00:00:34.880 --> 00:00:40.759 Okay, so hang on their Stefan Stefan. I'm going to tell you when 10 00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:43.439 to throw to this sound. But first I want to tell you the story. 11 00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:48.840 So, my daughter was really into this show, Euphoria. I didn't 12 00:00:48.920 --> 00:00:53.479 know how you said. I love Euphoria, Kayla, Okay. It's every 13 00:00:53.640 --> 00:00:59.039 parents' worst nightmare. It's a story of a group of teenagers, each doing 14 00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:02.920 their own excess version of drugs, drink, and sex. It's full of 15 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:08.879 unbridled party scenes and very very poor choices for teenagers. Okay, Well, 16 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:14.159 it was so successful that the director Sam Levinson became the hot, Hot, 17 00:01:14.200 --> 00:01:18.879 Hot director producer, and so HBO then got him to do The Idol. 18 00:01:19.599 --> 00:01:23.319 Stephan, let's listen to a bit of the Idol. Fast, truly nasty, 19 00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:29.239 nasty, bad pop girl had the best job in the world. She'd 20 00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:34.200 be having way more fun. I like you. It's really like unlocked something. 21 00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:38.480 In the end. She's had a tough year. The press has been 22 00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:46.439 brutal. It was Sophie. She took a talk about angle. I mean 23 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:51.040 it's it's kind of it's like a she was on her knees. Hot music 24 00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:56.439 is like the ultimate trojan horse. You get people to dance, to get 25 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:59.719 people to see along. Come on, give me more. I'm want to 26 00:01:59.760 --> 00:02:12.120 be the biggest touring act ever more. He's brainwaster, I promise you there's 27 00:02:12.120 --> 00:02:16.560 a new Joseph all right, Okay, So if you didn't figure it out, 28 00:02:16.919 --> 00:02:22.800 this is about a music idol called the Idol, and she's like the 29 00:02:22.840 --> 00:02:27.439 top star everywhere. And she meets a guy in la who's a nightclub owner 30 00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:34.240 and he is nasty, sexy, manipulative, dominating, gets very cult like, 31 00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:38.120 becomes Bengali of her She has very few choices in her own life. 32 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:43.800 Um So it just came out. It's on HBO. It's called The Idol. 33 00:02:43.840 --> 00:02:45.759 I'm not promoting it. I'm telling you don't watch it if you're a 34 00:02:45.759 --> 00:02:47.319 woman. I'm just saying, why are you rolling your eyes? Kayla? 35 00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:53.240 You make me want to watch every Okay, So I'm it just came out. 36 00:02:53.280 --> 00:03:00.000 But back on March first, Rolling Stone magazine published online headline that said 37 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:08.960 this production hell The Idol. How HBO's next euphoria became twisted torture porn. 38 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:15.800 Uh huh. And now they're saying that it has gone disgustingly off the rails 39 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:17.439 by the way it stars. And I think he's one of the executive producers 40 00:03:17.479 --> 00:03:22.400 The Weekend. What's the Weekend's real name, Abel Abel something able. He's 41 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:25.840 probably him another Toronto guy, like a Drake, right Toronto guy. Anyway, 42 00:03:27.520 --> 00:03:30.680 Rolling Stone called it the sleaziest love story in all of Hollywood. Now, 43 00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:34.479 I do have to say Johnny Depp's daughter, Lily Depp, I have 44 00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:38.840 never seen such incredible acting. I mean, she is super, super, 45 00:03:38.879 --> 00:03:42.879 super talented. But I don't know if she's going to okay. So here's 46 00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:45.439 what Rolling Stone said on March first, she gotta listen to this. They 47 00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:51.479 basically said that there was a female director and that the director Amy Simetz. 48 00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:53.960 I say her name right from the Girlfriend Experience, and she dies tomorrow. 49 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:58.639 And then before it was even finished being shot, she left the production. 50 00:03:58.840 --> 00:04:01.800 We don't know all the circumt dances of that. But then the Idol was 51 00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:05.639 set to have a major creative overhaul, according to Rolling Stone, and would 52 00:04:05.639 --> 00:04:10.879 be adjusting their cash and crew. There was very little explanation for the shake 53 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:15.639 up. However, the Weekend felt the show was heading too much into the 54 00:04:15.720 --> 00:04:21.560 female perspective. That's a quote from rolling Stone, the female perspective. Okay, 55 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:25.800 Now it didn't come out till June. This was on March first, 56 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:31.199 so the same day. How did the Idol producers respond? They dropped this 57 00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:36.800 sneak peak of the Idol on the very same day. So Rolling Stone came 58 00:04:36.800 --> 00:04:43.439 back to us about a cover, and I think it's worth pursuing rolling Stone. 59 00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:48.680 They little irrelevant. It's a cover, it's a heritage brand. I 60 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:50.639 think it's fail safe. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it 61 00:04:50.759 --> 00:04:54.360 might be kind of passed its prime, you know what I mean. Nobody 62 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:59.120 cares well, I know a few writers over there that I think would handle 63 00:04:59.160 --> 00:05:00.600 whatever we want to do them in a really careful way, which I think 64 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:06.160 is important. At this point, Rolling Stone has six million followers on Instagram, 65 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:10.720 half of them probably boughts Well, I don't know about it, and 66 00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:16.480 Jocelyn has seventy eight million followers. I am aware of her follower I'd assume. 67 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:20.920 So she does a photo shoot, she tags them, They get her 68 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:29.319 followers, more money for Rolling Stone, nothing for Jocelyn. That was an 69 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:33.600 online swat back right from the producers the guide. Oh okay, let me 70 00:05:33.639 --> 00:05:36.439 tell you. I only saw the first episode, so I'll be honest. 71 00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:45.560 Does it get anybody in the first three minutes this young actress master bates herself. 72 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:47.959 Well maybe the first episode. Maybe not the first three minutes, masterbates 73 00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:51.319 while choking herself. Okay, can we just say we were been talking about 74 00:05:51.319 --> 00:05:57.399 female orgasm. We've been talking about the research. The research shows that aggression 75 00:05:57.720 --> 00:06:01.240 is more likely to be co morbid combined mind with male sexuality. Then it 76 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:05.800 is female sexuality, right, because in order to achieve a male orgasm, 77 00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:10.839 they have to have heightened testosterone. You will hear men say, oh, 78 00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:14.560 she was so hot. I didn't know whether to fight her or f her 79 00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:18.759 right, because they're having the surge of testosterone that brings this feeling of aggression 80 00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:24.720 as well. This choking phenomenon in our culture right now, I'm sorry, 81 00:06:24.759 --> 00:06:29.519 I'm getting on a soapbox has come from the porn industry, of which men 82 00:06:29.639 --> 00:06:32.839 have consumed, and then men have taught it to women, just like in 83 00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:38.480 our last segment when we had the researcher on from the Kinsey Institute and she 84 00:06:38.600 --> 00:06:42.519 was saying that men are telling women they should be having orgasms when now we 85 00:06:42.600 --> 00:06:46.079 know eighty five percent of women at least can't have a vaginal orgasm, and 86 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:49.040 maybe as much as ten percent never have an orgasm in their whole life. 87 00:06:49.079 --> 00:06:54.160 There's nothing wrong with them. It's anatomy. It's physiology, that's all it 88 00:06:54.319 --> 00:06:56.639 is, right, And so in the same sense, men are saying, 89 00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:59.279 well, ushould like this, right, that's what you like now. The 90 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:01.399 other thing I hate about this first episode of the Idol, and again they're 91 00:07:01.399 --> 00:07:06.319 trying to be satirical. They're trying to be critical of the industry, the 92 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:11.399 music industry that you know, praise on young things and is highly sexual, 93 00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:15.720 but they actually do a deep dive into it, exploiting women. They make 94 00:07:15.720 --> 00:07:19.759 it worse than ever. So there's a conversation between like a publicist and an 95 00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:24.240 agent, you know, some of the entourage, and of course they get 96 00:07:24.240 --> 00:07:27.240 a woman to say this, an older woman to say this. Okay, 97 00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:30.439 this line was written by a man. She says mental health, poor mental 98 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:34.240 health can be very sexy, and they're like, what, poor mental health 99 00:07:34.319 --> 00:07:38.759 can't be sexy? And then she says, and I'm not quoting for betam 100 00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:42.680 On paraphrasing here, something like yeah, because a girl like that wouldn't have 101 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:46.959 sex with you unless she had poor mental health, So that's sexy. Like 102 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:50.439 in other words, if you have poor mental health, you have weak boundaries 103 00:07:50.680 --> 00:07:56.160 and potentially you're re injuring yourself or you're medicating yourself. Excuse me, you're 104 00:07:56.199 --> 00:08:00.920 medicating yourself with the frequent multiple partners that you really don't want. Okay, 105 00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:05.079 that bothered me about it, the choking stuff, the porn. It was 106 00:08:05.199 --> 00:08:11.120 just a way to bring porn to the masses. And remember the group that 107 00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:18.639 followed, the audience that followed were teenage girls who came off euphoria. Because 108 00:08:18.839 --> 00:08:22.839 the way my daughter presented to me as mom, will you watch this new 109 00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:26.160 show with me. It's written, it's written and produced by the guy from 110 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:30.160 Euphoria. It's going to be like Euphoria. It was a parent's nightmare all 111 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:35.080 on its own with teenagers, okay, and so all those teenage girls followed 112 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:39.600 into this show. This is a show of a deep abuse of a woman. 113 00:08:39.960 --> 00:08:45.679 And I know they say they're trying to comment on it as a negative 114 00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:50.320 thing, but they're doing it. They're exploiting it, and they're not. 115 00:08:50.399 --> 00:08:54.159 And if it is true, if Rolling Stone was correct that they got rid 116 00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:56.559 of a female director and got rid of female writers and they thought it was 117 00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:01.840 making too much of a female perspective, why are we watching this? Why 118 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:05.000 did this get made? I'm sorry, I'm ranting. It's very important, 119 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.039 very very important that we talk about this, all right. When we come 120 00:09:09.039 --> 00:09:11.759 back, I am going to be taking your calls, So give us a 121 00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:15.519 call. One eight hundred five two zero one kf I. That's one eight 122 00:09:15.639 --> 00:09:20.919 hundred five two zero one five three four. If you have a comment about 123 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:26.000 the Weekend and the Idol, you're welcome to challenge me on that. It's 124 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:30.840 a terrible show. It's doing more harm than good. This is not entertainment. 125 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:33.879 And art. This is porn disguised as something okay for teenagers. Just 126 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:35.960 saying that. But if you have a relationship question, I'll give you my 127 00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:39.759 drive by and makeshift relationship advice. One eight hundred five two zero one KFI 128 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:43.039 talked to producer Kalish will screen the call. That's one eight hundred and five 129 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:46.480 two zero one five three four. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show 130 00:09:46.519 --> 00:09:52.759 and KF I am six forty. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand 131 00:09:52.039 --> 00:09:58.240 from KF. I am six forty. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show, 132 00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:01.159 and I am taking your calls. I'd like to well my TikTok audience, 133 00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:03.960 if you'd like to come on into the studio and see what we're doing 134 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:07.000 here. Just come on to TikTok. My handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh 135 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:11.399 at Dr Wendy Wealsh. Okay, disclaimer here. I'm not a therapist. 136 00:10:11.480 --> 00:10:18.120 I'm a psychology professor. However, I myself am personally obsessed with the science 137 00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:20.919 of love. I've written three books on relationships. I did a dissertation on 138 00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:28.559 attachment theory. I'm a survivor of no A beneficiary of many, many years 139 00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:31.720 of therapy. Myself, I've been therapized for a long time and I'm happy 140 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:37.440 to share my personal wisdom with you. Think of me as an old auntie. 141 00:10:37.799 --> 00:10:39.799 Okay, producer Kayla. Oh, if people want to call in the 142 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:46.679 numbers one eight hundred five two zero one KFI. That's one eight hundred five 143 00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:52.679 two zero one five three four And if you're watching online, download the iHeartRadio 144 00:10:52.679 --> 00:10:54.519 app and then you can hear both sides of the conversation The Doctor Wendy Welsh 145 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:58.600 Show. Okay, producer, Kayla. Who do we have no producer, 146 00:10:58.639 --> 00:11:03.200 Kayla, Mike so sorry. We have Kevin with a comment. Okay, 147 00:11:03.279 --> 00:11:05.919 Kevin with a comment. I bet it's about what I said about the idol. 148 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:09.000 Hey Kevin, Hey doctor, what's going on? How are you? 149 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:15.159 I'm great? UM. I just want to say firsthand, I've been around 150 00:11:15.159 --> 00:11:18.879 a lot of these women in the industry, and I completely disagree with the 151 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:22.519 character in the show. A lot of these women are powerful women. They 152 00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:24.919 own their career, they own their power, and they do not act like 153 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:28.279 that. UM. I think some of it's a little far fetched. UM. 154 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:31.159 I do think they overdo it sometimes. I mean, you look at 155 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:35.279 somebody like Pater Swift, she owns your career, she's a boss. Beyonce 156 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:39.879 he's a boss. Our yannas a boss. So I kind of see, 157 00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:41.600 I see that kind of risk, kind of a slap in the face some 158 00:11:41.639 --> 00:11:45.919 of those some of those women. I just think some of this overdone. 159 00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:48.559 As a guy I was watching, it was like too much, just kind 160 00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:54.080 of cringeworthy. And you know what, I don't think, actually, Kevin, 161 00:11:54.639 --> 00:12:00.759 that it's reality that anybody who would achieve that level would have that manipulating 162 00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:03.440 that right, would that have that degree of dysfunction. What I'm worried about 163 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:07.200 is all the up and comers, all the wannabes, all the ones who 164 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:11.399 are working hard, they're the ones who are often manipulated and hurt. And 165 00:12:11.399 --> 00:12:15.879 as you know, you know, for somebody to gain fame in Hollywood or 166 00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:20.080 in the music industry, it's like one in a million, and everybody's talented. 167 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:24.200 Everybody's talented, And so that's what disturbs me is that. And also 168 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:28.559 I just young girls watching the show, like, you don't you don't let 169 00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:31.000 yourself get manipulated by that, and you don't choke yourself when you're masturbating. 170 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:33.200 I don't. I don't like the idol. I'm not a big fan, 171 00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:37.559 but you're right, not a good example. Yeah, definitely, And I'm 172 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:41.720 all for female empowerment. Um. You know, these women, their their 173 00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:46.120 role models, and I think we're at a place in music where women are 174 00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:48.360 owning their rights, They're owning their their their their catalog and I just think 175 00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:52.840 you look at some of like Tatums Solder Catalog made almost billion dollars off of 176 00:12:52.840 --> 00:12:56.440 that. I mean, this is this is this is a time when we 177 00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:58.960 should be celebrating women for the bosses that they are. And I just think 178 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:03.480 the shows a little bit too much of the sexual side. And I just 179 00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:07.000 don't think a woman like that would get manipulated by somebody like that. She 180 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:09.600 would be too powerful and strong. Thank you for calling Kevin good comments. 181 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.759 Absolutely, I totally agree with that. Okay, Producer, Kayla, who 182 00:13:13.799 --> 00:13:16.480 do we have next? We have Josette with the question. Josette, Hi, 183 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:20.600 Josette with a question. It's doctor Wendy. Hi not do a Neil, 184 00:13:20.679 --> 00:13:22.840 my guy. I love your show. I just like I'm addicted. 185 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:26.240 I listened to it all day at work. So thank you. I'm learning 186 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:28.960 so much from you. Oh my gosh. But anyways, my question is, 187 00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:33.960 so, I've been separated from my husband for three years. For the 188 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:37.679 first two years, well actually it would be like two years of the ending 189 00:13:37.720 --> 00:13:41.480 of the marriage of our separation, and two years into it, I kept 190 00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:46.759 telling him, let's work under this accounting. How can we fix this fully 191 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:52.639 separated right emotionally exactly? So I finally did my work. I've been in 192 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:56.799 therapy for like six years already, So I did my work and I realized, 193 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:00.840 okay, fine, if you don't want that, I can make him 194 00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:03.240 want to be married or whatever. But now now that he knows that I'm 195 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:07.559 dating, he's coming around and saying, oh, let's work on it. 196 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:09.120 I'm you know, I realize what I have. You know what I lost, 197 00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:13.600 and I didn't appreciate you or how you I took you for granted. 198 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:18.000 So I met him for lunch today because I haven't seen him for like two 199 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:20.039 years. You want to need for lunch to talk to fine or whatever. 200 00:14:20.399 --> 00:14:24.600 So we wouldn't talk. So I don't know, like to believe him. 201 00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:28.039 Okay, So, Josette, I'm your old auntie here talking with lots of 202 00:14:28.039 --> 00:14:31.080 life experience. I want to teach you how to say two words to him. 203 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:37.120 Those two words are too late. You missed your moment, too late 204 00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:43.000 exactly because listen, even if he changes, he could is not going to 205 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:48.120 last for long. Because what happens with relationships is there a little like a 206 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:50.200 drug. You think, okay, I'm fine, now I'm over that drug, 207 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:54.279 and then you take one taste of it and you're fully into addiction again. 208 00:14:54.399 --> 00:14:58.799 Right. A relationship is a way of being for you, for your 209 00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:03.679 rain. And unless the two of you go to like couples therapy together from 210 00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:07.039 the beginning and learn new ways of interacting, you're going to fall into the 211 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:11.960 old patterns pretty quickly. And that's how I told him, Like, we 212 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:15.960 need to go to marriage counseling or somebody. If yeah, you want to 213 00:15:15.960 --> 00:15:18.960 try to run from the beginning, you need a wingman, a licensed therapist. 214 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.679 But otherwise you need to say too late, dude, move on. 215 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:26.240 That's what I would say, Josette, thank you so much for calling. 216 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:30.000 All right, if you'd like to call in the numbers one eight hundred five 217 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:35.200 two zero one kfive. That's one eight hundred five two zero one five three 218 00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:37.559 four. Okay, producer, Kayla, who do we have next? We 219 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:43.039 have Josh with question Josh, Hi, Josh is doctor Wendy. Hi there 220 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:48.720 doctor, So obviously I've been listening to you forever. Oh, thank you 221 00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:56.080 so pretty much. I've been married now for two years? How many year? 222 00:15:56.120 --> 00:16:00.320 Two years? Did you say? Yeah? Two years? Okay? 223 00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:04.159 Got it? And uh, it comes to a point in my, uh, 224 00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:11.759 in our sexual life with my my wife that she doesn't not like to 225 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:18.679 explore, she doesn't like to try new things. And I don't know if 226 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:22.480 it's me being and if it's me just she's she always it's always like you 227 00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:26.480 need more time, even more time, or let's let's take it slowly. 228 00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:29.799 But I don't I don't know if it's me. I don't know. Okay, 229 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:33.000 So I've got some answers for you, Josh. Do you remember earlier 230 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:37.000 in the show when I talked about how the research shows that men want more 231 00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:41.759 sex than women and most heterosexual couples end up compromising. So let's talk about 232 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:45.240 frequency. First. You got to have a sexual contract, kind of a 233 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:48.840 deal, a loving deal that says, honey, I want it every day, 234 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:51.919 you want it once a week, how about twice a week? And 235 00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:56.120 you find your compromise. The next thing you do is uh and This is 236 00:16:56.200 --> 00:16:59.919 one of my favorite tricks that I learned from a couple that we're married third 237 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:03.559 years. Whenever they thought of a new fun thing to do in the bedroom, 238 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:04.799 they would write it down on a piece of paper and they would put 239 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:10.720 it in a bowl, and then on Friday nights they would pull something out 240 00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:12.680 of that bowl and they would agree to do it. To do it, 241 00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:18.119 write something different again. It's okay to have sexual boundaries. If she there's 242 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.480 certain things she doesn't want. Every guy wants seems to be lately a third 243 00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:25.039 partner not going to happen. All right, she can say no, so 244 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:30.319 she can have boundaries. But you've got to talk together about your sex life 245 00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.920 as an investment. It's an investment in the future, and both of you 246 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:37.240 can pay into that investment. All right, we have to go to break. 247 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:41.079 Thanks for calling, Josh. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand 248 00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:48.160 from kf I am sixty Do you have the Doctor Wendy Walls show Reminder. 249 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:52.759 I am a psychology professor and a huge fan and journalist when it comes to 250 00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:56.480 the science of love. I've written three books on relationships. I did my 251 00:17:56.559 --> 00:18:00.920 dissertation on attachment theory and I'm happy you personally weigh in on your love life. 252 00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:03.279 But I'm not a therapist. Okay, So if you have a question, 253 00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:07.880 give us a call. The numbers one eight hundred five two zero one 254 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:12.400 KFI. That's one eight hundred five two zero one five three four okay, 255 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:15.960 Producer Kayla. Who do we have next? We have Chris with a comment. 256 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:19.559 Chris with a comment. Hi, Chris, it's doctor Wendy. God. 257 00:18:19.640 --> 00:18:23.119 I'm so glad you had the lady on before. That was a researcher 258 00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:26.960 because when I'm seventy one, you're seventy one years old. You sound like 259 00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:33.000 you're twenty five. Chris. Wow, well I have a voice like that, 260 00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:37.079 But I used to. I remember in college I would ask the girls, 261 00:18:37.160 --> 00:18:41.079 you know I've in the gymnastics team side, say well, what about 262 00:18:41.400 --> 00:18:45.119 zach imax thing? And they'd all go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 263 00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:47.759 They wouldn't tell me anything. They would lie to each other about it 264 00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:51.240 because they all thought they were supposed to be having orgasms. Yeah yes. 265 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:55.680 And I couldn't understand would somebody tell me something? Because I don't understand why 266 00:18:55.880 --> 00:19:00.839 I can't do that? And so pornography taught me things about sex that's the 267 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:07.000 way interesting. You're one of the rare women who had a positive experience with 268 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:10.559 pornography, but it taught you how to orgasm or something. Yeah, yeah, 269 00:19:10.599 --> 00:19:15.039 well using your own hand or manipulation to have a climax, because otherwise 270 00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:18.640 I didn't know how to figure it out. Because the thinking was back then 271 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:22.839 that you were supposed if females were supposed to have an orgasm during an intercourse. 272 00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:27.519 And now we know somewhere between four and the fourteen percent of women can 273 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:33.160 have an orgasm during intercourse, but it has to do just with their anatomy 274 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.400 and where the clitoris is, the clitterus is in comparison to their vagina. 275 00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:41.400 I mean, it's amazing that we've kept this a secret, that as many 276 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:45.640 as fifteen percent of women will never have an orgasm in their life and there's 277 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:49.440 nothing wrong with them, And yet we diagnosed women for decades and decades and 278 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:55.400 decades as non orgasmic, as a psychological disorder, that there was something wrong 279 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:57.319 with the way they were thinking. Chris, I'm glad you called. I'm 280 00:19:57.319 --> 00:20:03.519 glad you found your orgasm through pornography. Okay, Producer, Kayla, who 281 00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:06.680 do we have next? We have Tim with a question. Tim. Hello, 282 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:11.440 Tim, It's doctor Wendy hi Rctor William Big Fans been listened for a 283 00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:15.640 long time. Oh, thank you. My question is you're awesome. My 284 00:20:15.720 --> 00:20:22.799 question is how do you think that social which is the most misnomer social media 285 00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.880 is affecting young girls and young men today. Oh well, I read the 286 00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:32.240 research on this all the time, Tim. It is the highest contributor to 287 00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:36.559 depression in teenage girls. The research that's coming out is continued and continued. 288 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:44.880 It is contributing to eating disorders, to body dysmorphia ideas, to poor body 289 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:51.680 image, to difficulty having healthy relationships. Look, I teach on a college 290 00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:56.240 campus. I have been teaching for eight years. In the first few years, 291 00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.200 my freshman right out of high school could talk to each other. There. 292 00:21:00.680 --> 00:21:04.400 Now I see this level of social anxiety. I put them into discussion 293 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:07.759 groups to solve a problem and talk to and they're staring at their phones. 294 00:21:08.599 --> 00:21:12.039 I mean, they can't even talk to each other. I am very concerned 295 00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:17.599 about social media. I do feel like we've reached some kind of like peak. 296 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:22.880 You know, It's like I went tobacco came on the market and doctors 297 00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:26.119 were prescribing it saying it was good for your lungs and breathing, and then 298 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:29.000 you know, everyone got lung cancer and heart disease, and they went, 299 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:32.039 oh, maybe tobacco is the problem. And I think that that's where we 300 00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:34.960 are now in social media. The research is coming out and I think even 301 00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:38.680 some young people are starting to understand that it's not good for them. But 302 00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:44.359 excellent question, Tim, go ahead, what a quick fall up the mind, 303 00:21:44.759 --> 00:21:47.880 real quick. So what do you think about the litigation coming about? 304 00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:56.039 What litigation? Who's suing who they're sing? I think Twitter and Facebook and 305 00:21:56.079 --> 00:22:00.519 what have you about social media? Who's suing them? Acting children? Who's 306 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:04.759 suing them? Private? Somebody in the private sector of the government. I 307 00:22:04.839 --> 00:22:07.359 think the government is. I have to do some reading on that. I'm 308 00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:11.640 not sure what litigation we're talking about was specific litigation, but you know what 309 00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:15.519 if they can prove causality, I mean, I you know, one of 310 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:19.599 my other many jobs is I do lawyer ads, television ads for law firms, 311 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:25.519 and I have done ads saying, you know, has your child, 312 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.799 you know, attempted suicide as your child suffer from depression or an eating disorder 313 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:33.640 after chronic use of social media? So you can hire a lawyer and go 314 00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:36.480 after them. I don't know if you can win, but you can go. 315 00:22:36.839 --> 00:22:38.200 I mean, they wouldn't be doing commercials if they weren't winning, That's 316 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:42.039 what I'm saying. So yeah, I think the one way that America works. 317 00:22:42.039 --> 00:22:45.160 And I learned this a long time ago when I moved to America. 318 00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:49.759 I used to think that lawyers had that reputation for, you know, just 319 00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:52.599 going after the money, et cetera, et cetera. But then I learned 320 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:56.599 that the way the system works is, you know, America and governments make 321 00:22:56.640 --> 00:23:00.640 the law, but they often rely on lawyers to enforce the law. And 322 00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.720 then it isn't the court that things start to take place. But yes, 323 00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:08.119 social media not good. Thanks for calling Tim. All right, speaking of 324 00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:14.319 social media, let's go to some of the dms you guys have sent to 325 00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:17.519 me. How many minutes do I have left? How do I wait? 326 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:19.640 Two minutes? Great? Okay, So let me get to this a couple 327 00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:25.240 things. One is I just noticed on TikTok someone named Sammy sent the question 328 00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:30.319 saying, how does a therapist use a dating app in their own city? 329 00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:33.519 Now, I want you to understand what's behind the question. What's really important? 330 00:23:33.559 --> 00:23:38.240 For therapists is that they never have any overlap in their personal life and 331 00:23:38.359 --> 00:23:42.079 the other. And you know, if your therapist sees you in public, 332 00:23:42.599 --> 00:23:48.720 they're not being rude when they don't say hello. The ethical rule is to 333 00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:52.920 not acknowledge a patient in public unless they acknowledge you first. And the reason 334 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:57.160 why is because some people still have stigma about mental health services. I don't 335 00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:00.799 know why. I don't have stigma. I talk about it all day long, 336 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:03.319 but some people do. The other thing is you're not supposed to be 337 00:24:03.319 --> 00:24:07.640 socializing with your patients. You're not supposed to be socializing with the friends of 338 00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:11.559 your patients or family members your page, because that can be a conflict of 339 00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:15.799 interest. Right. They need to feel safe and protected and have complete confidentiality. 340 00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:19.640 So Sammy's question is how does a therapist go on a dating app because 341 00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:22.240 all their patients are going to see them. Well, I'll say this. 342 00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:26.839 When I was on Bumble and that's where I met my beautiful Julio. That's 343 00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:30.839 where I met my boyfriend. I saw a lot of celebrities on there, 344 00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:33.799 and then I found out this is a funny little aside. You know how 345 00:24:33.799 --> 00:24:37.359 the algorithm on all these apps figures out like who you are, what you 346 00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:40.599 kind of look like, what your age group is, and they present you 347 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:44.279 to people in clumps. Right, So I went out on two or three 348 00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:48.480 or four coffee get dates with different guys and they told me that they had 349 00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:52.640 just gone, you know, had a conversation or texted with or gone on 350 00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:57.400 a coffee date with Sharon Stone. So apparently the algorithm thinks Sharon Stone and 351 00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:00.680 I are the same time hype. I mean, we have blonde hair, 352 00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:06.160 and we're contemporaries pure wise, so age wise. So maybe that's why I 353 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:08.480 thought that was very funny. So this is what you should know, Sammy. 354 00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:12.960 Don't match with your patients. Don't put too much personal information in your 355 00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:18.200 profile. You can say I'm a psychotherapist living in DA whatever. Don't get 356 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:22.039 into your chat with them, and they'll just pass on by. Like I 357 00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:26.559 was on dating apps and I would see friends and even relatives, and you 358 00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.519 just pass on by, just pass on by, just swipe away, just 359 00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:32.640 keep going. I think you'll be fine, all right when we come back. 360 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.480 I am going to continue to take your calls, and if you want 361 00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:37.279 to send me a DM on social media, I'll be answering some of your 362 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:41.200 social media questions. A reminder, I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology 363 00:25:41.240 --> 00:25:45.960 professor. I do have a PhD in clinical psychology. I've written three books 364 00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:51.680 on relationships and my dissertation was on attachment theory. You're listening to doctor Wendy 365 00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:56.960 Walsh on demand from KF. I am six forty. This is the Doctor 366 00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:00.319 Wendy Walls Show. I'm taking your calls one eight hundred and five to zero 367 00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:04.240 one KFI. That's one eight hundred five two zero one five three four. 368 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:08.839 Okay, producer Kayla, who we got? We have Nick with a question? 369 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:14.839 Nick? Hello, Nick, it's doctor Wendy. Hi dogor Wendy. 370 00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:18.839 That was fast. So I'm in a relationship for three years, one of 371 00:26:18.839 --> 00:26:23.200 those COVID relationships. You know it was different that it was different back then. 372 00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:26.319 You know, we started in the hidek. In fact, that's how 373 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:30.960 I met her through my sister, who's a therapist. I've dated one of 374 00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:34.400 her clients, so, oh dear, but I gave her COVID before we 375 00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:37.759 started dating. Oh my, that's the gift that keeps on given. Look 376 00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:41.920 at that. Well, you know what it did for my sister. She 377 00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:47.440 got longhaulers. But I gave her too. But my girlfriend didn't get sick 378 00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:51.440 like I didn't. We got a cold, but she got to get away 379 00:26:51.480 --> 00:26:56.480 from people and she liked it. So now three years later and I don't 380 00:26:56.839 --> 00:27:02.880 spend the night. I don't like I've had trouble since nineteen ninety falling to 381 00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:08.240 sleep next to somebody. Well a woman inventing interesting, So yeah, it's 382 00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:11.359 the age now, it's a long time ago. I'm at the age now 383 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:17.440 where I don't want to change. Separate bedroom. Okay, So you don't 384 00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:19.240 live together? Is that what you're saying at this point, Nick, You're 385 00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:23.039 not living together. Beautiful place, okay. And so you go over, 386 00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:26.319 you spend the evening with her, you have intimate time, and then you 387 00:27:26.359 --> 00:27:30.359 go home. Is that right? Yes? And how does she feel about 388 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:38.480 that? She's good and until she's not right? Right? So the problems 389 00:27:40.839 --> 00:27:45.640 So relationships are about compromise, right, there's no one right way to be 390 00:27:45.680 --> 00:27:48.319 a human. And there are some people that you know just can't sleep well 391 00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:52.440 beside somebody, or they have sensory issues they don't want to touch or whatever. 392 00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:56.960 I will just share with you that I am a terrible snorer, as 393 00:27:57.000 --> 00:28:02.319 both my parents were and my sweet Julio tells me since he's a New Yorker, 394 00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.039 is just like background noise for him. He's used to a noisy room, 395 00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:08.039 so he gets through it. But I know that twenty five percent of 396 00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:12.079 marriages in America they sleep in separate rooms or separate beds, so it's not 397 00:28:12.519 --> 00:28:18.039 abnormal. The problem is trying to find the compromise that will work for both 398 00:28:18.039 --> 00:28:22.720 of you, and that means it might mean you, you know, saying 399 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:26.079 over once in a while to help her feel secure in the relationship because you 400 00:28:26.119 --> 00:28:30.400 don't want her feeling so skin lonely that she steps out on you or something 401 00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:33.799 right, So you have to figure out what's going to work to feed the 402 00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:38.480 relationship. Relationships are an investment for both of you and you constantly have to 403 00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:41.359 put into it. Now, if you say to me, I don't ever 404 00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:45.319 want to change and too bad for her, then that says I don't really 405 00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:48.039 care about this relationship. And if she leaves me, she leaves me, 406 00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:52.440 and that's for you to figure out. But I think the two of you 407 00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:55.720 should find a compromise if you can. Nick, thanks for calling. Okay, 408 00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:57.880 who do we have next? I'm still screening? Oh, she's still 409 00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:00.279 talking Okay, let me go to social media because I heard a really good 410 00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:03.279 question. I just read here. Dear doctor Wendy. Last week, this 411 00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:07.720 is from Instagram. Last week, you talked about parental alienation. That's when 412 00:29:08.519 --> 00:29:14.160 often the ex wife will turn children against the dad, the divorce dad. 413 00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:18.640 I wanted to know about child alienation. I'm curious, not criticizing your show, 414 00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:22.319 which I love. Oh thank you. I'm fifty seven. My parents 415 00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:26.400 divorced when I was eleven. My dad remarried and inherited two step daughters. 416 00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:30.000 He died three years ago and I'm still waiting for his love. Oh breaks 417 00:29:30.119 --> 00:29:33.079 my heart. He basically told me he'd found a new family and he gave 418 00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:37.880 them priority. Understandable to a degree. No, it's not understandable. No, 419 00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:44.720 especially since he could have so many wise, but he's my only father. 420 00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:48.319 It's just isn't it? Just if not more damaging? Absolutely? So, 421 00:29:48.359 --> 00:29:52.400 I want to be clear. The parental alienation that I was talking about 422 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:56.720 that X is often due to each other, damages the kids, right, 423 00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:00.000 That's what it's about the kids. And in the same way, a parent 424 00:30:00.119 --> 00:30:07.279 rejecting or abandoning their child damages the kid. I am so sorry you went 425 00:30:07.319 --> 00:30:11.960 through this. I do believe that if you go to therapy and work with 426 00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:18.160 a licensed therapist to help yourself work through these feelings of loss, these feelings 427 00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:22.000 of longing, and to raise your self esteem, because this is what happens 428 00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:26.599 when a parent abandons a child. The child feels like they're unlovable or that 429 00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:33.599 somehow it's their fault, and you've got to find a way to get over 430 00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:36.640 that, and working with a therapist is one way to do it. I'm 431 00:30:36.680 --> 00:30:38.720 sorry this happened to you, all right? Are you ready for me? 432 00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:41.640 It's no. She's still in the phone. Chat Yeah, chatting. I 433 00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:45.680 see you're chatting. She's hearing somebody's story. All right, Dear doctor Wendy, 434 00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:51.440 I feel like every time I'm in a new relationship, I lose myself 435 00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:55.279 more and more. I feel like I have nothing left to give. Can 436 00:30:55.279 --> 00:31:00.160 a person be completely done with dating and relationships? Know? What you're done 437 00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:03.039 with is being a doormat. What you're done with is having no boundaries. 438 00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:10.039 What you're done with is losing yourself to somebody else's wants and needs. And 439 00:31:10.119 --> 00:31:15.680 when you hit that point, then you can finally say no. And that 440 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.920 doesn't mean no to all relationships. It means no to being taken advantage of. 441 00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:26.480 That means no to people that will walk all over you. I want 442 00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:30.000 you to find your voice. I want you to be stronger in your next 443 00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:33.359 relationship. Every relationship we grow, we get better and better. It's all 444 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:37.640 about practice, all right. Who do we have next, producer? You 445 00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:42.200 have Bob with a question? Okay, Hi, Bob, it's doctor Wendy 446 00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:48.160 h. That's whether we UM, I have a mobility one problem. I 447 00:31:48.200 --> 00:31:55.279 have Huginson's AH. And my my correct my care taker. There's my wife 448 00:31:55.720 --> 00:32:02.599 and she's been doing this caretaking for UM probably sixteen years now. She says 449 00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:08.920 that she will make love with me if I'm her husband and not the person 450 00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:15.160 that she's taking care of. UM be married for appreciate for two years, 451 00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:22.440 and I want to tell um about how I reasoned with her having sex. 452 00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:27.880 Okay, So she's saying, because you're her patient, she has trouble in 453 00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:30.799 her brain, turning you into her husband. Is every saying, yeah, 454 00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:37.079 UM, this would be a great thing for the two of you to work 455 00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:43.559 together in couples therapy. What I will tell you from my own personal experience, 456 00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:46.880 and I've said this over and over, is that we all have sexual 457 00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:52.079 needs, no matter what our mobility or health issues are, because sex isn't 458 00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:55.759 just about an orgasm, as we learned earlier in the show For women, 459 00:32:55.960 --> 00:33:01.319 it's not, It is rarely about that. It's about an exchange of care, 460 00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:06.480 and that care can be physical care, it can be the care of 461 00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:10.519 touch. When we touch each other, our bodies emit a host of neural 462 00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:16.720 hormones oxytocin, dopamine, neurope and nephrons, serotonin, all these feel good 463 00:33:16.759 --> 00:33:22.359 hormones that can help the relationship thrive if she can understand that you both are 464 00:33:22.359 --> 00:33:28.720 allowed to have your needs and that part of love is an exchange of care. 465 00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:32.559 Of course, she's probably suffering from caregiver exhaustion, which is a real 466 00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:36.799 thing, and this is the stuff that you want to talk about in therapy. 467 00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:39.720 If there's another way for you to find another caregiver for sometimes so that 468 00:33:39.799 --> 00:33:43.519 she can have a break, then maybe she might be You know, it's 469 00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:45.440 very common for men to say, I come home from work and my wife's 470 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:49.160 too tired after taking care of the house all day and the kids and doing 471 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:51.640 all that, and then she doesn't want to have a sex. Yeah, 472 00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:53.799 get her a babysitter or a housekeeper and then see how things will change. 473 00:33:54.359 --> 00:33:59.240 I mean, we all can only go so far before we get depleted. 474 00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:01.400 But thank you for sharing that, Bob. I hope you do enter couples 475 00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:07.559 therapy with your wife. Okay, when we come back, let's talk about 476 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:12.960 if you're in a relationship, what you can do today to make it better. 477 00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:16.119 Six love hacks to do with your partner today. You're listening to the 478 00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:21.960 Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty or live everywhere on the iHeartRadio 479 00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:27.039 app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walls. You can always hear us 480 00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:30.559 live on k f I AM six forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday 481 00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:32.800 and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.