WEBVTT

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Erica. You're a New Yorker,
I am you are. Forget about it.

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I'm walking here perfect exactly. There
is sometimes in New York a car

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will drive by and that car will
be blasting music. Right, yeah,

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happens, part of the experience,
part of part of the fabric that makes

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up this great melting pot. I'm
mixing metaphors. That is our set.

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Right. If you live in Washington
Heights, that's basically the soundtrack of your

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life is a car blasting Salcea music. Yeah. So I'm walking down the

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street yesterday and I hear a car
coming that's blasting music. And this doesn't

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really bother me because I've just lived
here for so long I don't don't even

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notice it. And then I realize
in my life there has been hot aching

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pain. Oh my god, oh
my god. Yes, that's right.

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Foreigner is blaring out of these windows. And I just had to turn around

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and there is a i'm gonna say, a sixty year old black man in

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a pickup truck. He has a
gray beard and he is getting his life

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to Foreigner. And then the chorus
hits and he just full voice. Yes,

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I want to know what love is. I know you can show me.

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I stopped. I clapped, sir, get your life, get your

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life, slay the house down,
boots. Also, please move to Washington

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Heights. Hey, I'm Paul and
I'm America, and this is that aged

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well yesterday's pop culture. Today Erica, I have a hot off the presses

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thing we need to talk about.
Oh okay, this is a message for

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a listener. That listener's name is
Brian. I believe Brian is from New

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Jersey. Should be a preemptively apologize
to Brian from New Jersey for I'm sure

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something we've said about New Jersey.
You know, a couple of weeks ago,

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you said something about, oh,
well, your nephew's growing up in

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New Jersey, so it's it's good
that he's fighting the good fight. And

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someone immediately wrote in it was like, I'm from New Jersey and I agree.

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So weren't good there. Ah.
But if you're a listener and your

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name is Brian and you might be
from New Jersey and you emailed me about

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the matrix and the sixth sense and
mimeograph machines, I responded to your email,

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but I'm getting I'm getting blocked as
spam, so I did not ignore

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your email. I tried to respond
to you, and I can't if what

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if Gmail is just like this is
too nerdy. I refuse. I'm not

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enabling you enough enough. Okay,
Google itself is telling you no, absolutely

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not, stop it. Stop it
with your Mimeo grasps. It got the

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bounce back, and I got so
because I really do try to respond to

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everything that we get as much as
I can. And I love you,

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Paul. You're so good. I
wrote like he wrote, like a really

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nice email, and then I responded
bounce back, and I was like,

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he's gonna think I ignored him.
I didn't ignore you. I tried.

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You, guys a little little window
into Paul. He is the fucking best.

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Uh Erica. We are in March. We're doing murder Mystery March Do

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Do Do? I don't know why
did that sound, but that felt like

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the seventies. Something happened in the
Murder Mystery chime that you like, this

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is a clue? Yeah? Oh? Why why is the Grandfather clock broken?

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You know there were two keys to
this door? Do Do do?

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Yeah? Yeah? But first before
we get to our murder mystery for the

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day, we do have a five
star Apple Podcast review would you like me

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to read or shall you read?
I'll read it, okay. Today's review

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comes from Podfan nineteen seventy five.
Good year that one, hey bus,

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love this so much. This is
my absolute favorite new podcast that I'm listening

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to. I heard Erica the original
cast podcast, Hey Hey, where we

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discussed Cabaret and we talked about Nazis
for so long you do so much longer

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than you think you're gonna talk about
Nazis, and immediately knew that I needed

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to listen to that. Aged well, I'm binging it like crazy. The

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chemistry is amazing, the content fantastic. It's like comfort food for the soul.

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Keep producing amazing work. Oh well, you pod fan, Thank you,

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pod Fan nineteen seventy five. That's
so nice. It's so nice to

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hear when when a guest Spot of
Hours inspires someone to come listen to us.

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Yeah right. Also, while we're
there, go listen to the original

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cast podcast. It's pretty great.
Paul and I have both done episodes.

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Mine was on Cabaret, yours was
on Kimberly Akimbo. That's right. We

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talked a lot about musical theater.
You think we talk a lot about musical

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theater here. Just you wait till
you put us on a podcast about musical

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theater. Oh boy, you think
we talk a lot about Nazis here,

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wait till we talk with someone else
about Nazis. Yeah, all right,

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pod Fan nineteen seventy five. Thank
you so much for the review. If

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you would like a that age,
well, tope bag. All you needs

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00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:08.600
must do is email me or dm
me on Instagram and let me know this

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00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:11.720
is you. I will send it
off for you. Erica, what is

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the murder mystery that we're talking about
today? Oh? Well, Paul,

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today is murder mystery? Uh is? Uh? Hang on, let me

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look at my notes. Just one
more thing, one more thing, hang

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on, one more thing. It's
the iconic television program Colombo. That's right.

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Colombo was requested by no one.
No one requested Columbo. And I

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went rogue. We went rogue.
I said, I've heard that Colombo is

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bunkers, and I think we should
do a Colombo because some people requested murder,

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she wrote, But we had done
a murder she wrote already, yeah,

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And I was like, we don't
need to be repeating things yet,

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Like there's a lot out there.
Let's do a Colombo, and I went

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onto IMDb and I looked, because
there's only like forty or fifty episodes of

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Columbo. I looked at every single
one, and I found the one that

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I thought would speak most to mine
Erica's soul because it stars one of Erica's

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favorite performers of all time. We'll
get to it. Oh, and has

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a cameo for the Gods. That's
right, all right, so we are

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specifically discussing Colombo's season two, episode
five, Requiem for a Falling Star.

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Colombo was created by Richard Levinson and
William Link. Requiem for a Falling Star

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was written by Jackson Gillis and directed
by Richard I'm gonna say quinn Quine.

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I don't know, probably quine Quine. It's stars Peter falk and Baxter,

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Frank Converse, Pipa Scott, Kevin
McCarthy the actor, not the disgraced former

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House Republican, and Mel Ferrer.
We could just tell them now it's Anne

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Baxter. We're here for Anne Baxter. I ironically love Anne Baxter because she

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is both imminently watchable but terrible as
an actor. Like just she's two things

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at once. And I'm here for
her. Colombo is credited with popularized the

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inverted detective story quote unquote, also
referred to as how Ketchum, in which

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and the audience is fully of where
who the criminal is and the story at

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tension arises and how the hero will
expose the crimes. They're doing that now

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on poker Face. That's right.
You don't need a palicuns for this,

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But that was what I was going
to tell people to go watch if they

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had it, if they like this, this is what how Ketchum is,

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what poker Face is doing. And
what's so funny is because I've more recently

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watched poker Face than Colombo, I
thought she was doing a straight up Columbo

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impersonation, but actually what's funny is
Natasha Leone is actually, i think bigger

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than Peter falk Is in terms of
the performance. Like she's doing like what

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you think you remember Colombo is like
she's not actually doing Colombo, and it's

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it's wonderful, Like she's so good
on that show, all right. The

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character of Colombo first appeared in a
short story by Levinson and Link. This

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led to an appearance in a TV
anthology series and then to a stage play

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Prescription murder. Levinson has said that
the catchphrase, oh what more thing was

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born by accident in the stage play
when they had a scene that was too

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short, and rather than retype the
whole scene, they just had to turn

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around and come back in and say, oh, just one more thing,

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which is amazing. Talk about how
typewriters, how computers changed, Hollywood.

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We don't want to retype this.
That's a lot of work. That's a

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lot of work. My fingers are
tired. I don't have enough white out

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in case I make a mistake.
That's right, we're gonna need We're gonna

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need what Oh shit, I forgot
what those were called. The paper you

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put in the back of the paper
to copy the paper, so as you

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were typing something, it like made
a copy. Ah. The older listeners

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are screaming at their computers right now, screaming. They know what I'm talking.

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This is the mimiograph machine from all
over again from Not Daisy Can if

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you fast times at Richmond High.
That's what Brian was emailing us about carbon

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paper. I remember it's carbon paper. Good for carbon paper between the two

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pieces and then you type, and
then you have the origin and a copy.

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Because of the carbon paper. People
under the age of thirty are like,

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please please put fuck it. People
under the age of forty right now

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are like, put these two out
to pasture. Is she having an episode?

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Is just what is she talking about? You know? That reminds me

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remember those those old credit card machines
or you give them your credit card and

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they do that incredibly satisfying, like
shrunk drunk. Yes, I want to

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open a small bookshop and only do
credit cards like that. Aha, it's

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still so satisfying. You see it
every once in a while in the wild

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and you're like, I want one
of those. I need a credit card

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machine. There's got to be an
ASMR video with that noise in it,

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right, I mean, honestly,
we should open a bookshop do like normal

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transactions, but on top of the
normal transaction, do a credit card carbon

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copy machine. Yeah, if you
want to donate a dollar to the bookstore

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to celebrate, like like like brick
and mortar bookstores, We'll let you put

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your credit card machine and make that. I would pay a dollar to do

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that every time I went in.
We could also have a typewriter in the

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corner with carbon paper. Well to
type. What's like a little letter gold

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mine. Holy okay, guys randing
the podcast right now, we're gonna go

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open this book to open a bookstore. So I was very disappointed that this

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catchphrase does not appear in this episode
of Colombo. He doesn't say one more

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thing. He doesn't just one more
thing. I really thought he did in

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my brain he did. If you
told ask me, if you if you

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quizzed me on this, I would
have been like, yeah he did,

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obviously, Yeah, of course.
Yeah. Paul Colombo has a ninety percent

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critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a
seventy nine percent audience score. I'm shocked

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by that. Heathens, Philistine's Monsters, Neanderthals. Is it possible someone's cat

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got on the computer by accident and
gave Colombo a zero? And it's dragging

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everyone down? Is it dragging all
the other one hundred percent perfect reviews down?

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Every single time I'm editing this podcast, Oliver climbs across the computer and

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I am terrified that he is going
to accidentally delete a file. I save

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every three minute because I'm fraid,
like just half an episode, and then

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you hear like, stomp, stomp, stomping. It's just the cat.

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Yeah, pretty much. I can't
believe the seven ninety percent is fine.

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I can't believe the seventy nine percent
audience score. I mean either that is

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shocking. Okay, first of all, what did you think you were watching?

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Right? This show? This show
crew was was created before Paul and

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I were born. That's okay.
So it is older than fuck, it

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is older than people who know what
carbon paper is. That is how old

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this show is. Carbon paper was
an innovation to this show. Okay,

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not only do we know what carbon
paper is, we've both used it.

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That's how old we are. So
like, I cannot believe someone came to

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this and was like, ugh,
this is so boring or this is so

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old timey, or he doesn't seem
to know anything, or why do they

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tell us who the killer was at
the beginning? Like why is he wearing

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that trench coat? What's going on? You forever? If that's you,

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fuck you forever. Frankly, this
should have one hundred percent audience score audience

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score, but I'm with you.
Ninety percent seems fine. I'm fine with

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that. This show is so like
iconic. Yeah, I had never seen

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00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:09.559
it before, and it is a
comfort watch. That is how Daddy Peter

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fawk Is. He's not even daddy, He's fucking Grandpa from like he really

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is Grandpa. He's he's he's Hal
Wholebrook. Yes, yeah, yes,

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yeah, which reminds me, Paul, when did you first see Colombo?

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I saw it yesterday for the first
time. I watched this episode totally cold.

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I knew Peter falk from we did
Princess Bride Murdered by Death and The

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Princess Bride of course. I mean, look, Peter Faulk is in the

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pantheon. If you don't what I'm
talking about joining the Patreon hey, hey,

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but he he is so comforting to
watch. Yeah. Maybe it's just

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because he was on in the background
when we were growing up, and I

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don't even remember it, like because
the show ended I think before we were

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born, and then it did like
he did like some movies and stuff.

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But he might it must have been
on and like when he walked on screen,

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it was just immediately like, Okay, everything's good, everything's good in

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the world. Yeah, what an
incredible power that is. So he also

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has such a distinct face. Are
you watching that Feud show on FX?

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I did watch? I did,
Okay, Okay, So in the pilot

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episode. In the first episode,
we see Truman Capoti on the set of

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Murder by Death. None of the
other actors are talking, but you can

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like it's the cast of Murder by
Death and the person they cast to play

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Peter Falk, who again doesn't even
speak. The second I saw him,

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I was like, that's the Peter
fall guy. That's to be all right,

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Erica, when did you first see
Colombo? Interestingly, this might be

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the first time I've seen a full
episode from beginning to end. Okay,

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which would have been yesterday. That
was the first time I saw a full

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episode from beginning to end. I
have seen five to twenty five minutes of

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every single episode of Colombo. Okay, because my mother not only does she

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like it's her favorite show, is
she's seen all of them. She's seen

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all of them like fifteen times.
Okay, she is She is like every

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moment of Columbo memorized to the point
where she was like, which one are

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00:14:09.559 --> 00:14:11.799
you doing? And I said the
one was Anne Baxter and She's like,

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oh, recom for a falling Star, and I'm like, holy shit.

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00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:22.720
So Colombo was a constant in my
household growing up. It's it's again why

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00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:26.399
I associate it with comfort. I
just pictured my mom like on the couch

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00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:28.320
watching Colombo and was like gently falling
asleep to it, you know, like

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00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:31.759
after school special kind of thing,
and I it was so it was just

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00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:35.360
like a constant, ubiquitous sound in
the background. I don't know why it

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00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:39.080
took me this long to actually watch
a full episode. I think I think

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00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:43.159
because I was just like happy only
seeing fifteen minutes at a time, and

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00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:48.639
was just like associated it with like
my mom so much. I don't know

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00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:52.039
it. But anyway, yesterday it
was the first time I'd seen a whole

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00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:56.600
episode. I'm so glad you picked
this one, Paul. I. About

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00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:58.639
halfway through, I was like this, I was correct, this is I

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00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:01.519
was right. Yeah, I did
well. Also, I like that it's

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00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:05.200
a second season episode, so it's
like the show knows what it is by

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00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:09.639
now, but it's not so it's
not so later, much much later in

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00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:13.759
the run, like when we get
into the eighties and the nineties, even

220
00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:16.200
they made it specials well into the
nineties even yeah, well I don't know

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00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:20.159
about well into but into the nineties, Peter Falk had just become such a

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00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:24.039
like a parody of himself from these
early episodes that when I saw like his

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00:15:24.120 --> 00:15:28.679
performance in this, I was like, oh, okay, he's still kind

224
00:15:28.679 --> 00:15:31.919
of being naturalistic. Yeah, he's
still kind of being a human being.

225
00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:35.320
Later, if you watch one from
like nineteen eighty nine, he is like

226
00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:39.919
a muppet. It is a muppet. It's one hundred percent just a muppet

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00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:46.840
on like talking to like William Shatner. All right, Erica. The tagline

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00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:50.399
for Columbo was we all say it
with me, one more thing, one

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00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:54.000
more thing. That's one more thing. We all know it. It's perfect,

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00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:58.120
no no ites. Shall I read
the iTunes synopsies? Yes? Please?

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00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:04.159
Okay? Anne Baxter and Mel Ferrer
star as a fading actress and a

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00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:11.360
Hollywood gossip columnist whose hatred of each
other culminates in murder. Yes, yes,

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00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:15.840
I love it. That's the level
of drama everyone is bringing to this

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00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:19.799
at all times. Yeah. And
can I say Anne Baxter is such a

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00:16:19.799 --> 00:16:23.000
perfect casting choice too for this,
Like if they couldn't get Joan Crawford,

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00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:26.399
I'm glad they got Anne Baxter,
you know what I mean. Like it's

237
00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:30.360
that level of like we need someone
who is from the old, old vanguard

238
00:16:30.360 --> 00:16:33.279
of Hollywood. If Gloria Swanson didn't
want to do a parody of herself in

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00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:37.639
Sunset Boulevard. Yeah, we'll get
Anne Baxter. We'll just get Anne Baxter

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00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:42.200
to do it. Do you have
an actual synopsis for this episode of Colombo?

241
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:48.200
It's terrible. Yeah, but my
actual synopsis is which one is it?

242
00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:51.720
I think it's the right one.
No, it's the left one.

243
00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:53.240
No, No, it's the right
one. He didn't squint when he looked

244
00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:57.240
at the sun with the right one. It's the right one. I'm pretty

245
00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:02.080
sure. It's hard to tell.
Move if you don't know what I'm talking

246
00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:04.079
about. Lea's Google Peter Fault.
Can I can I offer I just I

247
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:07.920
just thought of my own actual synopsis? Can I offer one for it?

248
00:17:07.559 --> 00:17:12.400
Where are the Turbans? I expected
Turbans in this episode? This episode is

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00:17:12.519 --> 00:17:19.640
turbineless On and Baxter. Oh,
it was waiting for the Turbans. All

250
00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:22.960
right, So everyone stick around.
We're gonna come right back. We're going

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00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:27.160
to take you through Columbo Season two, episode five, Requiem for a Falling

252
00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:30.680
Star right after these messages, Unless
you are, of course, a Patreon.

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00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:36.400
A Patreon subscriber can listen to this
episode with no commercials, So get

254
00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:38.480
the to Patreon sign up. You
don't want to hear some I keep getting

255
00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:41.920
ones for the state of Florida,
and I don't know if it's because they

256
00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:47.359
know I'm here. They do.
It's randomly getting commercial, But why would

257
00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:49.319
you give it? Why would you
send a commercial for someone who's in Florida

258
00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:53.079
about Florida. That doesn't make that's
almost Florida thing ever. Actually I think

259
00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:56.839
about it, Florida is like this
spending your tax money. And I'm like,

260
00:17:56.920 --> 00:18:00.920
but I've already here. What do
I do while I'm here? And

261
00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:15.240
they're like, I don't know.
Come to Florida find out, and we're

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00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:19.480
back. We open on a grand
mansion. We're inside this enormous house.

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00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:22.920
It's perhaps reminiscent of the mansion and
clue. Big rooms, high ceilings,

264
00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:29.000
chandeliers, a big house on a
dark and stormy night. A portentous piano

265
00:18:29.079 --> 00:18:33.160
plays as we watch a woman grab
a pistol from her desk drawer. She

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00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:37.759
walks from the grandiose carpeted den into
a grandiose carpeted living room. There's an

267
00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:42.400
enormous set of double doors there.
She throws the double doors open to reveal

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00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:48.079
a bathroom. Steamy. There's a
man showering. He's wearing white boxer shorts

269
00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:51.359
in the shower. While he showers, she raises the pistol. She fires

270
00:18:51.359 --> 00:19:00.000
once, twice, thrice, force
fifees and sights. She fires the pistol

271
00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.519
sixfold times. Okay, there's no
blood spatter. The man just stands there

272
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.279
and takes it. The glass breaks
as she fires, and he just falls

273
00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:10.119
there. She keeps breaking. I'm
like, shouldn't they just break one time?

274
00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:14.839
It's like break, break, break, break, I'm like, what

275
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:18.519
is this glass made out of?
The woman turns around and says, don

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00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:22.160
missed him, and she bursts into
laughter, and we pull back and reveal

277
00:19:22.200 --> 00:19:23.839
a cast and crew yucking it up
with her. It was all part of

278
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:29.240
a movie. He's not really dead, No, he's just an extra wearing

279
00:19:29.319 --> 00:19:32.119
boxer shorts in the seven. He's
a never nude. He's a never new

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00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:37.279
the first instance of a never nut
in pop culture, possibly a So this

281
00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:40.799
is n Baxter. Obviously, this
dress that she's wearing the scene, it's

282
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:45.839
very chic, it's beautiful, But
is it not a tad reminiscent of like

283
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.960
a high end airline attendant. Oh, but that's what the airlines were going

284
00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:55.640
for socialites, but in the air
Yeah, no, she wears it a

285
00:19:55.640 --> 00:19:57.720
lot because we keep cutting back to
the set of this movie that she's thinking

286
00:19:57.759 --> 00:20:00.759
and she's wearing the outfit in a
few scenes. She's also one of those

287
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:04.599
people who really can pull most things
off. Oh yeah, there's some stuff

288
00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:07.400
she wears that is ludicrous in this
episode, and I'm like, damn it,

289
00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:11.440
she is pulling that off. The
crew breaks to set up the next

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00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:15.319
shot, and the woman Norah Chandler. Of course, her name is Nora

291
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:21.000
Chandler, played by the Great and
Good and also somewhat Terrible, and Baxter

292
00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:26.839
immediately calls out Jane. Before we
can meet Jean, another crew member takes

293
00:20:26.839 --> 00:20:32.039
her outside and shows her a powder
blue sports car that she immediately appears to

294
00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:34.160
recognize, and she does not seem
happy. No, the crew member,

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00:20:34.680 --> 00:20:37.759
I don't know if you noticed Paul, but his name was Paul. I

296
00:20:37.799 --> 00:20:41.920
didn't, And he was wearing the
highest waisted pants and empress waist pants.

297
00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:47.519
They were their umpire waist pants.
Yeah, they would have been perfectly in

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00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:52.160
place in Jane off sinsera. Yeah, I was like, why why are

299
00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.920
his pants coming up to a sternum
I don't understand the seventies. I don't

300
00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:59.160
understand how that could have been comfortable
for anything in his crotch. There's a

301
00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:00.960
lot of stuff in his and none
of it is happy right now. I

302
00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:06.160
mean, it's all been squished,
a submission done. It's just over and

303
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:07.799
done with, or just moved to
one side, I guess. I mean,

304
00:21:07.920 --> 00:21:11.720
but talk about a self wedgie is
what we're looking at here. I

305
00:21:11.720 --> 00:21:14.640
mean, those pants are just like
a torture device. I don't know how

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00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:15.599
a man does it, but I
don't know how all the men did it

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00:21:15.599 --> 00:21:18.759
because they're all wearing high waisted pants. It's correct, it's the era of

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00:21:18.759 --> 00:21:23.279
the high waisted pant line. So
the crew member confirms that quote unquote.

309
00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:30.160
They're inside, and Norah's face hardens. She thanks him and stalks across the

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00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:33.480
lot too. I mean, is
it her house or is it it is

311
00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:37.880
her house? House? Right?
Is where she lives? She says in

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00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:41.680
this show that she lives here while
she's shooting, which implies that she does

313
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:45.960
have another house. The reason I'm
bringing this up, ladies and gentlemen and

314
00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:52.039
everyone else is that, like the
woman walks across, what you would think

315
00:21:52.039 --> 00:21:56.240
about when you think of like the
Warner Brothers law the Paramo and into a

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00:21:56.440 --> 00:22:02.680
fucking giant house, almost mansion size
house. Yeah, they call it a

317
00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:06.079
bungalow in a cottage, and I'm
like, that's a month's okay, that's

318
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:08.960
a month indeed. Well, but
also I think this was a thing.

319
00:22:10.119 --> 00:22:12.960
This was what used to happen in
like the old like old old old Hollywood.

320
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:18.400
Is they give the biggest stars what
like a dressing room that was actually

321
00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:22.200
a fucking giant house. Yeah,
it is stunning to see one in real

322
00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:26.359
life or like a recreation of one, I should say, because like I

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00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:30.599
feel like this is something that was
lost to time and I would love to

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00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:34.519
see more images of what those like
what was Shirley Temple's right dressing room?

325
00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:38.200
Like, like, was it a
giant fucking fun house for this kid who've

326
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:41.079
like built the studio because she made
so much money. This is somewhat based

327
00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:45.160
on that, because they say and
like like Norah Chandler was a child star.

328
00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:49.519
Yeah, came up through the studio
system and was part of the studio,

329
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:55.119
this unnamed studio becoming successful, like
she is in the fabric of this

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00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:57.000
studio and she at one point was
married to the head of the studio and

331
00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:02.000
all that stuff. So like she's
a big deal on this lot. Yeah,

332
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:06.440
she's norma Shearer, a plus level
Hollywood. I'm so this is so

333
00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:08.680
fascinating to me. Honestly, I
could have paused here and just like stared

334
00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.680
at the house for five minutes.
But we're moving on. So she walks

335
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:18.480
to her mom's and we cut inside
to find Jeene Davis played by Pippa Scott,

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00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:26.240
Norah's longtime assistant, passionately making out
with Jerry Parks mel Ferrer. I

337
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:30.200
don't want to be mean, Paul, but mean, how did mel Ferrer

338
00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:36.160
bag Audrey? Hepburn? Seriously that
guy, he's goofy looking. He's goofy

339
00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:40.160
that guy. I like. Audrey
clearly liked a sense of humor. Maybe

340
00:23:40.200 --> 00:23:44.680
she liked a little geeky guy.
Right now, he would be Jim Parsons

341
00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:48.279
on Big Bang Theory. That is
the that is the modern better looking than

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00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:56.119
melf Like. He's Johnny Galicki not
Jim Parsons, which, to be fair,

343
00:23:56.200 --> 00:24:00.920
Johnny Gleckey did date the girl and
that kill you know what. Women?

344
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.759
Women like cork, Women enjoy cork. But because I was watching Jeene

345
00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:10.200
Davis making out with mel Ferrer,
or not Geene Davis Pipa Scott the actress

346
00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:11.599
and making out with Melfrer, and
I was like, ooh, miss,

347
00:24:12.359 --> 00:24:17.920
you earned your paycheck my friends,
all right, So Jerry parks. Mal

348
00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:22.880
Ferrer's character is a gossip columnist,
a famed gossip columnist. Nora slips in

349
00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:27.400
and she overhears Gene reminding Jerry of
his commitment at a local bookstore every night

350
00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:30.200
that week. You have to go
to this book signing. It's important.

351
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:33.400
But she says she can't wait for
him to get home so they can celebrate

352
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:37.880
his birthday. Jerry warns her not
to let quote unquote the Wicked Witch ruin

353
00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:44.359
her night off. What if Margaret
Hamilton had played Nora Chandler in full Alphaba

354
00:24:45.160 --> 00:24:51.039
like makeup. I realized this is
forty years later, so she'd had been

355
00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:55.119
quite old at this point. But
yeah, I think it's possibly dead.

356
00:24:55.319 --> 00:24:57.599
She made god, But what if
I could have done that? If we

357
00:24:57.720 --> 00:25:04.519
Necroman served Margaret Aimal takes just a
mind exercise, It's the thought experiment.

358
00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:08.519
What if ABO had to deal with
her in that outfit like the whole time,

359
00:25:08.599 --> 00:25:12.200
and like was like I wonder who
the killer is, and she's throwing

360
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:21.319
fireballs at him. She's murdering dogs
in the corner. Jesus, only I

361
00:25:21.319 --> 00:25:29.000
could figure out who the killer is
here? Hello again, Colombo? All

362
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:33.519
right? So Nora has heard enough. She walks in and she pretends to

363
00:25:33.559 --> 00:25:37.359
be surprised that Jerry is there before
dismissing Gene on an errand. And once

364
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.119
Gene is gone, Norah drops the
hostess act and asks Jerry, what are

365
00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:45.480
you doing here? She's pouring herself
a drink from her enormous wet bar.

366
00:25:45.799 --> 00:25:47.880
I have to say, if I
if I had a wet bar in my

367
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:52.200
house, I wouldn't put it on. Carpeting. There's too much carpeting in

368
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:55.480
the seventies. That's how you know
people are rich. Ye, just carpeting,

369
00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:59.000
Paul, it's white carpeting. It's
white carpeting there stepping on in their

370
00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:02.640
shoes. Harpending gets replaced once a
month. The whole house just in a

371
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:06.599
constant state of getting recarpeted. Yeah, it's it's just a rotation. A

372
00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:10.359
So Jerry smirks and he comments that, well, you know, I've been

373
00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:12.880
doing some research and I noticed that, you know, you made that movie

374
00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:18.839
in Italy that bombed, only somehow
you didn't lose a dime and the studio

375
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:22.039
lost two million dollars. And Nora
kind of takes a sip of her drink

376
00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:25.839
and she says, Oh, I'm
too tired to talk. Why don't you

377
00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:27.400
go out. We'll talk about this
later. And Jerry, he will not

378
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:32.000
be he will not be deterred.
He mentions, how, oh, isn't

379
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.880
there a big studio executive meeting happening
and the big head of the studio,

380
00:26:34.920 --> 00:26:38.240
Frank Simmons, is arriving tonight for
a meeting, and why did he be

381
00:26:38.359 --> 00:26:42.160
interested? Wouldn't you be interested in
Nora? And how it has been movie

382
00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:45.440
stars swindled him out of his money, right, so this is all set

383
00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:51.039
up. Nora, who is a
producer on her own movies, somehow fixed

384
00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:52.720
it. So all the loss went
to the studio, none to her,

385
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:56.200
got it Which doesn't seem like corruption
at all. It just seems a good

386
00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:00.000
business sense. It seems like she
covered her ass in the studio, didn't

387
00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:04.119
just shows whatever she did illegal.
That seems like just absolutely good business practices.

388
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:10.720
Yeah, Nora now provides an important
PSA for everybody listening. She demonstrates

389
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:14.240
how not to slap someone in the
face, or how to slap someone in

390
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:17.319
the face. Anne Baxter. Let's
let's let's not give this to Nora.

391
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:22.240
This is Anne Baxter, Anne Baxter
and Baxter so hard she winds up.

392
00:27:22.519 --> 00:27:26.720
She gives them like a forty five
second head start before she slaps him.

393
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:30.920
It is so good. She is
winding up like a picture on the mound

394
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:36.359
in the World Series bottom of the
ninth that bases loaded the full count up

395
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:41.119
against the cleanup hitter like this is. She leans back. His hand is

396
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:45.200
ready to catch her hand before her
head gets there. Yeah, she's doing

397
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:49.440
a full fucking aria before she she
slaps him. I've seen Anne Baxter slap

398
00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:52.559
people before. This is how she
does it. This is how she understands

399
00:27:52.599 --> 00:27:56.960
slapping should happen. This is what
she thinks a slap is. And no

400
00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.200
one has disabused her of this notion. Not no one, not will,

401
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:03.079
not cecil b de mil not menka
Witz. No. Everyone was like,

402
00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:06.799
just let her do it, just
let her do it. She's not listening.

403
00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:10.200
She it will only take longer if
we try to interfere her. I

404
00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:12.960
saw a slap once when I was
a child, this is what it looks

405
00:28:14.039 --> 00:28:18.920
like. No, no, that's
sir. So Nora goes to slap him,

406
00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:22.680
but Jerry easily catches her wrist.
He assures her, Nora, I'm

407
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:26.640
on your side. I just need
a totally reasonable amount of money to compensate

408
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:30.200
me for my time in research.
So he's trying to blackmail her. Essentially,

409
00:28:30.200 --> 00:28:33.480
he's trying to blackmail her with this
information. She agrees, and he

410
00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:37.640
kisses her on the cheek before heading
out. I have a makeup question for

411
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:41.079
you. I don't wear makeup generally
speaking. I wish I wore more me

412
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:45.000
either, So blind leaving them blind
here, but go for it. Her

413
00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:51.039
eyeliner is this like the dramatic Sophia
Lorenz eyeliner that Jennifer Coolidge was talking about

414
00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:55.079
in Best in Show, because it, like the bottom line of it actually

415
00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:59.720
like departs from her eye and kind
of goes down a little bit to make

416
00:28:59.720 --> 00:29:03.960
her eyes seem even wider. I
guess I cannot say that I remember what

417
00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:07.119
it looks like. I wasn't paying
attention. I think I was too busy

418
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:10.319
still on the slap you were laughing? Slap who was laughing at the flap?

419
00:29:10.359 --> 00:29:18.160
I was slapping I possibly from what
you describe, that's not the Sophia

420
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:21.799
Laurn like closes right, that's it
was like a Cleopatra thing. That's like

421
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:26.079
yes, so perhaps perhaps, But
the seventies were also they were not as

422
00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.240
make up forward as the eighties were, but we were getting there. Yeah,

423
00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:32.519
listeners who know about makeup, let
me know if that's it, if

424
00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:34.519
that's a thing, or if that's
just Anne Baxter like doing a bad job

425
00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:37.400
in her own eyeliner. I don't
know. I'm just curious, Oh,

426
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:42.839
Paul, Anne Baxter's never done her
own eyeliner. Nora then after after Jerry

427
00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:47.440
leaves, gets a canny look on
her face and she starts to write a

428
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:52.680
list. Gene returns. Gene remembers
that Nora's beleaguered assistant, Norah, immediately

429
00:29:52.680 --> 00:29:57.599
accuses her of leaking information to Jerry. Jane vehemently denies this, but also

430
00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:03.359
reveals that Jerry has asked to marry
him. Okay, so the guy who

431
00:30:03.440 --> 00:30:08.799
is blackmailing Maura is also like trying
to marry her assistant who's like been her

432
00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:14.079
assistant for twenty years. Nora is
not wrong to be hello suspicious here?

433
00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:17.759
Did you notice that he also she
also says he asked me to marry him

434
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:22.400
in a letter. In a letter. In a letter, he because someone

435
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:23.680
was traveling. He was traveling,
they were traveling or whatever, and he

436
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:27.039
wrote, he wrote her a letter
to propose to her. You know what,

437
00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:30.079
I'm gonna land on the side of
romantic. Actually, as long as

438
00:30:30.079 --> 00:30:34.839
he included a dick pic right,
well, they didn't have like maybe unless

439
00:30:34.839 --> 00:30:37.599
they had a polaroid. So it
was a drawing of you know how you

440
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:41.319
used to make those turkeys out of
your hand in elementary school. As long

441
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:42.319
as you lay your dick on it, and like, look, I drew

442
00:30:42.359 --> 00:30:45.160
Florida, you know, you know, Paul, he took his dick to

443
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:51.000
a caricature artist and had them do
it. So his dick is like on

444
00:30:51.079 --> 00:30:56.759
the Eiffel Tower with it with a
French mustache and a ballet. His dick

445
00:30:56.839 --> 00:31:03.359
is enjoying a nice sunny beach vacation. That's right, that's right. So

446
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:07.880
Noraa is shocked and unappalled by all
of this. She mocks Gene, come

447
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:11.759
on, you idiot, he's not
really into you. He's just a smut

448
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.440
peddler who could never have real feelings. He's using you to get to me.

449
00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:19.640
Gene assures her, look, I
love him, he loves me.

450
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:25.160
He's never once asked me for anything
about you ever, and then she apologizes

451
00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:26.640
for upsetting her. You know what, when I was watching it, I

452
00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:30.359
was on Jeane side, But now
that I'm talking it over out loud,

453
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:36.839
I'm like everything Noura does makes a
lot of sense. Norah immediately switches gears

454
00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:40.359
and she starts to cry, and
she apologizes for shitting all of her Jean's

455
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:44.160
engagement by letters news like, I'm
sorry I ever doing this for you.

456
00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:48.119
Before you know it, she and
her crocodile tears have convinced Jane to let

457
00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:49.759
it all pass, okay, don't
worry about it, and she hands Jeane

458
00:31:49.759 --> 00:31:53.680
this like long, long list of
errands that will take hours for her to

459
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:57.640
run, despite Jeane's plans that she
knows about with Jerry that evening. So

460
00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:01.839
we cut to that evening and to
the bookstore where Jerry is signing autographs.

461
00:32:01.960 --> 00:32:06.160
We see Jane pull up, and
we cut to Nora and her I'm gonna

462
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:10.000
do some crimes outfit right she's wearing. She's wearing a brown trench coat and

463
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:16.160
wide legged tweed trousers in this beautiful
like bronze and turquoise and brown headscarf and

464
00:32:16.200 --> 00:32:22.279
sunglasses. Despite it being fully nighttime. She looks incredible. She looks incredible

465
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:27.319
in every scene. It's so good
safe for this episode. Dress up for

466
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:30.160
your crimes. Don't just commit your
crimes in sweatpants, like, have some

467
00:32:30.200 --> 00:32:35.839
self respects. I always commit crimes
in a three piece suit. Buy a

468
00:32:36.079 --> 00:32:39.400
very expensive trench coat in which to
commit your crimes in. Make it an

469
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.720
event, make it special exactly that
way, you'll remember it and you'll be

470
00:32:44.759 --> 00:32:49.240
memorable to all the witnesses. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So Jeane rushes

471
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:52.680
into the bookstore to explain what's going
on to Jerry, and Norah slips out

472
00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:55.000
of her car and we don't see
what happens, but it appears like she

473
00:32:55.079 --> 00:32:58.960
does something to Jeane's car, but
we don't know what it is. Yeah.

474
00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:01.039
Then she rushes back to her car. She drives off into the night,

475
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:05.480
and we cut to her on the
patio of a house, dumping a

476
00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:09.119
trail of gasoline from the driveway to
around the corner of the house. She

477
00:33:09.160 --> 00:33:14.559
hears a car coming. She quickly
finishes the job, and Jerry's powder blue

478
00:33:14.599 --> 00:33:17.839
sports car pulls up right onto the
pool of gasoline that Nora has planted.

479
00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:25.440
She strikes a match the gasolining knights
and boom California Fried Gossip columnist ha ha,

480
00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:31.200
How does she not wreak of gasoline? After this? We are later

481
00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:36.720
going to find out that she just
takes this very very obvious evidence and just

482
00:33:36.799 --> 00:33:40.960
kind of like throws it down the
hill behind this house. What was crime

483
00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:45.680
scene investigation in nineteen seventy three?
She spent too long picking out her i'm

484
00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:50.440
adu crime outfit and not long enough
thinking about very basic things like don't leave

485
00:33:50.519 --> 00:33:54.799
the murder weapon if you can help
it. Also, it's such an obvious

486
00:33:54.920 --> 00:33:59.400
arson, it's not even like this. Yes, there's no like she didn't

487
00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:02.319
cut the on the car, so
that would like go off a cliff or

488
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:06.640
something else. She's like, she
may as well have spelled her name out

489
00:34:06.680 --> 00:34:12.400
in the gasoline, but like Nora
was here, wu z. We cut

490
00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:15.760
to Nora later that evening at dinner
with two executives, Frank Simmons played by

491
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:22.039
Kevin McCarthy and Fallon Just Fallen,
Just Fallen played by Frank Converse. I

492
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:27.519
this she looks so good in this
scene. She's dressed She's all gussied up

493
00:34:27.559 --> 00:34:30.800
for dinner with like the like the
boss and the boss's boss, and she

494
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:35.599
just looks so good. They're at
like Chasin's or some like glamorous Hollywood night

495
00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:38.519
spot. Right, it seems that
mister Simmons has recently bought the studio from

496
00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:43.400
Fallon, though Fallon still works there. Fallon is way too young to have

497
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:45.480
owned a movie studio, Am I
right? He's so young that they actually

498
00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:50.000
point out how young he is in
it like Columbo's like, wouldn't have expected

499
00:34:50.039 --> 00:34:52.639
you to on a movie studio,
you're twenty four? What? Like?

500
00:34:52.840 --> 00:34:57.760
Why cast him? If I have
no idea? Why not switch these two

501
00:34:57.800 --> 00:35:00.280
men or something? I don't know. Anyway, it's weird. It is

502
00:35:00.280 --> 00:35:04.079
a little weird. So she's charming
them. She's doing her movie star thing.

503
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.920
When the waiter arrives and tells Noura
there's a man outside to see you.

504
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:10.119
He says it's urgent. It's like, oh, it's probably just a

505
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:14.599
fan, and she gets up.
She leaves the table. At the front

506
00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:16.840
of the restaurant, a policeman tells
her that there was an explosion at Jerry

507
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:22.320
Parks's house, and she's like,
I don't understand why I'm being told though,

508
00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:24.920
I mean, he and I barely
even know each other. And suddenly

509
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:30.599
Jerry walks in and she goes,
Jerry, you're alive, and Jerry tells

510
00:35:30.639 --> 00:35:35.199
her it wasn't me who was killed. It was Gene. She was alone

511
00:35:35.239 --> 00:35:40.280
in my car and an explosion killed
her. No, Nora faints dead away

512
00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:45.719
and again this is why he casts
Anne Baxter, the fucking elegance, the

513
00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:50.960
class. The seventeen steps it takes
for her to faint, Everything about this

514
00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:54.199
is perfect, the eyes rolling back
in her head like like it is the

515
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:58.800
most It is a scarlet O'Hara faint. Oh, it is a fate for

516
00:35:58.840 --> 00:36:01.280
the gods. It is a faint
that like can be seen at the Palladium

517
00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:06.119
Theater in the back fucking world.
Right yep. And now we cut to

518
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:12.000
Lieutenant Frank Colombo played by Peter Falk
as he drives up to the studio the

519
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:15.239
following day in his rundown car.
He arrives at Nora's. They call it

520
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:19.000
a bungalow, but again, this
is a mansion. It is a mansion.

521
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:21.760
Sitting down in the middle of the
studio a lot, and he realized

522
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:23.599
kind of outside, he's like,
oh God, about to meet Norah Chandler.

523
00:36:23.639 --> 00:36:25.599
And he starts to clean his nails
a little bit because he's, you

524
00:36:25.639 --> 00:36:30.079
know, he's unkempt. It's kind
of a hallmark of the character. Knocks

525
00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:35.440
on the door and he's greeted by
Simmons. That's the new studiohead the studio.

526
00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:37.360
Who is the studiohead who has just
bought the studio. By the way,

527
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:42.559
This guy Javan McCarthy. He's weird
and that he's I don't know what

528
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:46.639
the acting thing he's doing is,
but it's like I'm going to lean forward

529
00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:50.360
and talk like this all the time. You understand, I'm gonna hold you

530
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:54.519
responsible. Then that's it. That's
his only tone. He is the same

531
00:36:54.599 --> 00:36:59.599
actor in that Golden Girls episode,
right, the one where Dorothy and Blanche

532
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:01.639
fight over the doctor. No,
no, you know he was on the

533
00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:06.960
Golden Girls though he was he was
he like asked Blanche to marry him,

534
00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:09.320
but he had kids or something.
Wasn't that him? Yes? Okay,

535
00:37:09.400 --> 00:37:13.400
yes, yes, yes, he's
he's a rich guy that Blanche almost marries,

536
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:17.400
but she she realizes that he only
wants her to like raise his kids.

537
00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:22.360
Basically, like he likes her a
whole lot, but he wants Blanche

538
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:25.920
is not the woman I would choose
to raise children. No, certainly not.

539
00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:30.599
I think her own kids would pack
me up on that one. Yeah,

540
00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:31.960
oh yeah, I knew I'd seen
him on Golden Girls, though.

541
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:35.039
As soon as I thought him,
I was like, he's on Golden Girls.

542
00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:38.639
He looks like a Golden Girl's boyfriend. He absolutely does, all right,

543
00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:44.280
So Simmons starts expounding about how upset
Nora is now Columbo needs to be

544
00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:47.239
gentle with her, and Colombo assures
him that I'll be quick, mister Simons,

545
00:37:47.239 --> 00:37:51.280
I'll be quick. Don't worry,
don't worry, don't worry. He

546
00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:55.960
also Simmons also mentions here that Jean
has been Nora's secretary and constant companion for

547
00:37:57.039 --> 00:38:00.079
eighteen years. She's, oh,
well, I us know, she's probably

548
00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:05.159
like forty. I would say,
yeah, yeah, okay, I'm I'm

549
00:38:05.159 --> 00:38:07.360
trying to remember what she looked like. Yeah, yeah, because I did

550
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:10.679
not catch the eighteen years part.
I'm like, Jesus christeen years. Eighteen

551
00:38:10.760 --> 00:38:15.880
years. Can you imagine working for
any actor? I don't care if it's

552
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:19.880
the nicest one. Yeah, still
gonna be fucking weird, even if you're

553
00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:24.159
working for like Kevin Bacon and Kira
Sedgwick, it's still weird the moments of

554
00:38:24.199 --> 00:38:28.199
your day where you're like, so, a goat farm. Huh yeah,

555
00:38:28.199 --> 00:38:30.800
so we're doing the goat farm thing
today. Okay, So so my job

556
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:36.639
is to go get your dry cleaning
again. Okay, Okay, I'm I'm

557
00:38:36.679 --> 00:38:39.239
an adult person and my job is
to do that. Okay, just check

558
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:43.440
it. You want me to film
you while you've played the guitar, okay,

559
00:38:43.800 --> 00:38:45.719
okay, no, no, no, it's never a guitar. It's

560
00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:49.320
like a fucking ukulele and it's playing
it with some goats or something, and

561
00:38:49.360 --> 00:38:52.599
I love it so much every time. I love it too, Don't get

562
00:38:52.599 --> 00:38:54.199
me wrong. That's why I picked
them, because they seem like, if

563
00:38:54.239 --> 00:38:58.440
you're gonna work for some Hollywood couple, that's the couple you want to ask,

564
00:38:58.559 --> 00:39:01.639
the one you want. Yeah,
that's the normalist Hollywood couples you definitely

565
00:39:01.679 --> 00:39:06.960
don't want. Nick Jonas and Prianca
Chopra. Those two are awful, I'm

566
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:08.519
sure. Actually, I don't know. Do we know tea is their teeth?

567
00:39:08.599 --> 00:39:12.639
We know Prianka Chopra is a terrible
person. I think I've heard a

568
00:39:12.679 --> 00:39:15.400
lot of stories about that. I
don't know anything about them. No,

569
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:20.679
I am picturing some beleaguer assistant having
to film having to do twelve takes of

570
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:27.440
Kevin Bacon with his ukulele, singing
like My Sharona to his goats? Do

571
00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:32.800
you an acoustic cover of Footloose to
his goats at his ukulele? Yeah?

572
00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:37.880
So Colombo heads in. He's greeted
by Nora in full hostess mode. She

573
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:40.880
is wearing eight Is that a tattered
lace business suit? Is that correct?

574
00:39:42.519 --> 00:39:46.320
Is Paul? Yeah? Yeah?
Colombo is himself a bit starstruck. He

575
00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:51.079
admits Miss Chim, I've been love
with you my whole life, and Nora

576
00:39:51.239 --> 00:39:54.760
graciously says, I know you never
expected to meet a legend. I love

577
00:39:54.800 --> 00:40:00.480
her so much? Is it wrong? How much I'm on her? I

578
00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:07.840
think it's fine because me also she
says it like this, Paul, She

579
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:14.760
goes, I know you never expected
to meet a legend like she just full

580
00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:17.320
throats it. I love her,
she says it with her full chest as

581
00:40:17.320 --> 00:40:22.199
the kids. Yeah, Colombo leads
Nora through this whole bit about Nora calling

582
00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:25.280
his wife to say hello. Nora
plays along, By the way, I

583
00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:29.880
apparently we never meet Columbo's wife.
This is this is Norm's wife from Cheers,

584
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:32.239
right. This makes my mother happy
every time it happens on an episode

585
00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:37.239
of Columbo when they mentioned the wife
and how you just missed her. Nora

586
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:40.119
is happy to play along, to
be the grand dome that she is.

587
00:40:40.639 --> 00:40:45.679
She eventually and here's another golden girl's
connection leads him to the lnai, only

588
00:40:45.719 --> 00:40:49.639
the second use of lenai I've ever
seen in popular culture. Yeah. When

589
00:40:49.639 --> 00:40:52.239
I was doing my notes, I
called the silarium because I missed her calling

590
00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:53.400
it illania for the first time the
first time. I was like, oh

591
00:40:53.440 --> 00:40:57.480
no, it's a llnaia. Apparently
it's a llnai. It's an indoor lenai

592
00:40:57.559 --> 00:41:00.679
though, right? Or is it
indoor leni? It's in closed lenih okay,

593
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:04.480
So now what is a lani?
Then? I thought it was a

594
00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:09.159
b I thought maybe it's a partial
enclosure. I don't know, a sun

595
00:41:09.239 --> 00:41:15.000
room. Yeah. Colombo then explains
to Nora that Jean's death is being investigated

596
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.239
as a murder, and of course
Norah's like, oh god, no,

597
00:41:19.599 --> 00:41:23.079
who would want to murder Jane?
Gee? Everyone loved Jean. Everyone loved

598
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:27.119
Jean. Why would anyone want to
burn her? To a christmin A car.

599
00:41:27.239 --> 00:41:30.679
Why would anyone want to Kentucky Fried
Chicken Jean, by the way,

600
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:34.800
very much like Norma Desmond. This
house is covered in pictures of Nora Chandler.

601
00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:37.000
Yeah, covered in pictures of Van
Baxter. Right. So he looks

602
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:40.400
at the walls and he noticed is
a photo of her and her ex husband,

603
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:44.159
who was the former head of the
studio, who had died years earlier,

604
00:41:44.360 --> 00:41:45.880
right, m hm. And he
comments in surprise that her ex was

605
00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:49.599
quite short, essentially the same height
as Nora, Like, there's this,

606
00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:51.679
there's a picture of them, And
he's like, you know what, I

607
00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:53.639
always thought you'd be taller too.
I guess I just assume all movie people

608
00:41:53.679 --> 00:41:57.079
are going to be really really tall, because I see them on the screen.

609
00:41:57.119 --> 00:42:00.480
And she laughs and she's she's playing
kating him, she's playing along and

610
00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:02.960
she's letting him fall in over her. He also notices that her ex husband

611
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:07.239
wore a shriner's ring. Right,
that's going to come back later, just

612
00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:08.639
put a pin in them. What
is a shiner? Is it like an

613
00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:13.280
elk, like the Elk's law?
I think so. I think it's like

614
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:21.800
like the Illuminati, but less posh. Okay, okay, working class Illuminati.

615
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:24.639
It's the bargain basement Illuminati got market
bace of Illuminati. Actually, no,

616
00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:28.280
I think the Shriners is a big
thing. I used to see commercials

617
00:42:28.280 --> 00:42:31.960
for a Shriner's hospital. I'm not
exaggerating. It's on this channel called Cozy

618
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:35.760
TV. I don't know if anyone
else has it, but they show free

619
00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:38.360
reds of Frasier, which is why
I've watched it, And that channel has

620
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:44.159
a bunch of Shiner's commercials about a
Shriner's hospital that they started for kids with

621
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:46.400
very specific diseases, which is a
great thing to do, it's a good

622
00:42:46.400 --> 00:42:50.880
thing money. But they always cut
to like a man wearing a fez hat,

623
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:53.559
like a white man, an old
white man wearing a fez hat,

624
00:42:53.599 --> 00:42:57.639
and like handing a check to a
sick child, And I'm like, what

625
00:42:57.880 --> 00:43:01.079
even is America? What are you
doing here? I mostly know them from

626
00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:07.440
the Shriner's Ballet from Cheea Rivera's dance
to the Shiner's Ballet from Bye Bye Bertie.

627
00:43:07.039 --> 00:43:09.239
By the way, r I p
Cheetah And if you'd like to see

628
00:43:09.239 --> 00:43:13.800
her dance that you can find it
on YouTube. Shiner's Ballet Cheater rivera incredible,

629
00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:17.960
incredible but again, the Shriners are
a real thing. They donate money

630
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:22.400
to hospitals. I think they're very
working classes. I think, moving on

631
00:43:22.599 --> 00:43:29.480
anyway, way off topic. But
then what are elks are elk like higher

632
00:43:29.519 --> 00:43:31.480
class or lower? I think maybe
elks are the lower. Maybe elks are

633
00:43:31.480 --> 00:43:40.239
lower than shiners. Maybe it's elks
Shiner's scholar. And then on top of

634
00:43:40.280 --> 00:43:44.639
all of them, obviously the Babysitters
Club, and then the Babysitters Club,

635
00:43:44.679 --> 00:43:47.719
and then Swift and then Taylor Swift, then Swifties, and then and then

636
00:43:49.119 --> 00:43:55.719
K pop fans. So a phone
call comes in for Colombo. He apologizes

637
00:43:55.800 --> 00:43:59.880
to Nora and asks if she'll take
a ride with him to the police headquarters.

638
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:01.440
Before they leave, though, he
goes, oh, I see you

639
00:44:01.480 --> 00:44:08.119
have a beautiful garden in your backyard
of your studio house, and he's like,

640
00:44:08.199 --> 00:44:12.000
my wife is such a fan and
she collects clippings. You mind if

641
00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:14.840
I take a rose out of your
garden for my wife, And she goes,

642
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:19.519
of course, Lieutenant Colombo, you
may take whatever you wish for I

643
00:44:19.559 --> 00:44:23.639
am a legend. He pulls a
flower from the base of a large decorative

644
00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:27.519
fountain, which is currently dry,
and he's like, oh, there's no

645
00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:30.679
water in that fountain. She goes. Actually, funny story. That was

646
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:32.599
from a movie I made once when
I was a child. It's a prop

647
00:44:32.679 --> 00:44:37.320
fountain. Yeah. Colombo brings Nora
to the police station's parking garage. By

648
00:44:37.320 --> 00:44:40.280
the way, all these cars are
parked neatly. He just pulls up in

649
00:44:40.360 --> 00:44:44.440
like parks in the middle of the
road, just gets out of the car.

650
00:44:45.360 --> 00:44:49.800
No respect. Never change, Colombo, Never change. Nora is almost

651
00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:52.360
overcome at the sight of the burned
out husk of Jerry's car. Oh my

652
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:57.440
god, Oh my god, that
gene. Oh my god. They explain

653
00:44:57.559 --> 00:45:01.599
that Jerry and Jean swapped cars because
his Jeans had a flat tire, which

654
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:07.039
might imply this wasn't a horrible mistake, and that Jerry was the target of

655
00:45:07.079 --> 00:45:10.719
a murderer. Nor Oh my god, She's overcome. I want to go

656
00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:15.280
home. I want to go home, she tells. In his arms,

657
00:45:15.320 --> 00:45:17.639
she collapses and he has to hold
her. No, I can't, combo,

658
00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:22.800
I simply cannot. This is from
a time when a car exploding would

659
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:27.719
lead to a police investigation and not
just be assumed to be a manufacturers defect

660
00:45:27.800 --> 00:45:30.880
like it is now. Old times, you know what if you really,

661
00:45:30.880 --> 00:45:34.599
if you wanted to murder someone right
now, buy them a tesla, buy

662
00:45:34.679 --> 00:45:37.079
them a tesla and just cross your
fingers and blow it up and no one

663
00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:40.760
will look at it, no one
even thinks anything of it. So she

664
00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:44.079
said, I want to go home, and Columbo tells her, no,

665
00:45:44.199 --> 00:45:45.960
we need your help now, miss
Chandler. We need you all help because

666
00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:50.519
we got to figure out who want
to murder Jerry Parks. I don't know

667
00:45:50.519 --> 00:45:52.559
why she is supposed to help them
do that. I mean, I think

668
00:45:52.599 --> 00:45:55.760
the implication is that Colombo just wants
to keep her involved in the case because

669
00:45:55.760 --> 00:46:00.199
he's not convinced of any of this, right, But exactly the idea that

670
00:46:00.280 --> 00:46:01.760
he's like, no, you're who
we need to talk to to figure out

671
00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:07.360
who hates Jerry Parks is it's a
it's a thin it's a thin a frinsh.

672
00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:10.599
Yeah. Yeah. I actually wonder
about this because I feel like this

673
00:46:10.679 --> 00:46:15.239
happens a lot in these episodes because
he plays it so cool. I wonder

674
00:46:15.320 --> 00:46:19.920
if maybe other people who watch more
Colombo than I have could tell you could

675
00:46:19.920 --> 00:46:22.239
tell us, But like, is
it is it ever clear when he figures

676
00:46:22.280 --> 00:46:25.920
it out or does he always just
kind of hang on to people until he

677
00:46:25.960 --> 00:46:30.760
stumbles on something like yeah, he
doesn't quite let anyone else, like,

678
00:46:30.440 --> 00:46:34.199
let like let anyone off the hook
until he knows what the hook is.

679
00:46:34.519 --> 00:46:37.360
Basically I do, I can't tell
because you're right. At this point,

680
00:46:37.400 --> 00:46:39.119
he should have been like, well, thank you for your help with this

681
00:46:39.199 --> 00:46:43.320
investigation. We'll call you when we
know something see you later. But instead

682
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:46.679
he keeps visiting her every day,
and like he does this in every episode,

683
00:46:46.760 --> 00:46:50.239
so it's not just because she's a
movie star that he wants to like

684
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.199
fall over, Like, yeah,
he does this with everyone, And I'm

685
00:46:52.199 --> 00:46:55.920
like, did you know before this
started who the killer was? And you

686
00:46:57.079 --> 00:47:00.960
just fucking with all of us.
We cut to Columbo at Jerry's house.

687
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.800
He's investigating the scene of the crime, and he's interrogating Jerry, who,

688
00:47:04.840 --> 00:47:07.119
by the way, does not seem
all that broken up about Jeane's. Yes,

689
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:12.119
I have never I have been more
upset about somebody dying who white literally

690
00:47:12.159 --> 00:47:15.960
did not know. Yes, He's
like, yeah, well she's dead.

691
00:47:16.119 --> 00:47:21.719
Oh well and my car is gone
too. That sucks, right. So

692
00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:24.039
Colombo is like, so who might
want to murder you? And Jerry's like,

693
00:47:24.159 --> 00:47:29.599
well, I'm a famed gossip columnist
in Hollywood, so literally everyone everyone

694
00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:34.360
I've ever met. They quickly discover
the two giant empty gasoline cans that Nora

695
00:47:34.599 --> 00:47:39.880
just tossed into the bushes after the
explosion. Ah, so they're thinking this

696
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.519
is probably at very least Arson Colombo, I think, is also picking up

697
00:47:44.519 --> 00:47:47.800
what we're putting down about him being
awfully blase about Jean's murder, and he

698
00:47:47.840 --> 00:47:52.119
starts to kind of like tap around
the idea that hey, maybe you weren't

699
00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:55.440
with Jeane for honorable reasons. Maybe
you really were with Jane to get gossip

700
00:47:55.599 --> 00:48:02.039
about Nora, and Jerry is like, appso absolutely not. I love John

701
00:48:02.199 --> 00:48:06.800
Jean, Jean, dammit Jean,
damn it. Yeah right, Gene,

702
00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:12.000
I loved Jane. Gee fuck,
why do I keep doing that? And

703
00:48:12.039 --> 00:48:14.679
He's like, you know what,
mister Colombo, I'm more than happy to

704
00:48:14.760 --> 00:48:17.679
let you see my entire file on
Nora. The dark secret fights with the

705
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:22.800
husband, the ex husband, right
the dead one, her husband's casting couch,

706
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:27.000
and the evening that her husband died
on a fishing trip, all this

707
00:48:27.079 --> 00:48:30.760
stuff. Columbo says, it's all
a matter of public record anyway, and

708
00:48:30.840 --> 00:48:34.079
Jerry can just keep his files,
yeh. Look, He's like, look,

709
00:48:34.079 --> 00:48:37.800
I haven't written anything on Nora in
years. She's old news. We're

710
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:42.320
just old friends. Right then the
phone rings, and while we can see

711
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:45.159
that it's Nora on the line,
Jerry plays it off as the wrong number

712
00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:49.239
in front of Colombo. He doesn't
want Columbo to know they're they're in cahoots.

713
00:48:49.559 --> 00:48:54.159
Can we talk about the insert shot
of Anne Baxter? We certainly can

714
00:48:54.280 --> 00:48:58.800
pall. She doesn't speak, it's
just a cut to her, so we

715
00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:01.320
know that, so the audience knows
that's who was on the line. She's

716
00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:07.760
wearing like one of those fabulous seventies
kind of like flowing gowns with like the

717
00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:12.719
splotches of color. Yes, and
she looks like someone just shot her in

718
00:49:12.760 --> 00:49:15.400
the chest. And that leads to
her final moments of life. The expression

719
00:49:15.400 --> 00:49:21.639
out her face is so over the
top. YA probably told Anne Baxter to

720
00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:24.480
be as small as she can and
she got it. Got it subtle,

721
00:49:24.679 --> 00:49:28.159
as subtle as you possibly can,
Ann, And she's like, got it

722
00:49:29.920 --> 00:49:35.800
a subtle legend? I understand,
Anne. Remember, we need you to

723
00:49:35.800 --> 00:49:37.800
be realistic like a human being would
in this scene. And she's like,

724
00:49:38.119 --> 00:49:44.840
I've seen many human beings, don't
worry. I'm an Baxter, Paul.

725
00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:46.639
Is this your first time seeing Anne
Baxter in something? I know you've seen

726
00:49:46.679 --> 00:49:50.559
all about it, but you don't
quite remember it. Yeah, I think

727
00:49:50.679 --> 00:49:52.559
that would be the well, and
I've seen the Ten Commandments. Probably also

728
00:49:52.599 --> 00:49:57.360
don't remember that. So I've seen
her in things, but not like recently

729
00:49:57.440 --> 00:50:00.079
where I I don't know that you've
ever clocked how amazing she is because it

730
00:50:00.119 --> 00:50:04.719
takes a minute. It takes a
few viewings to be like, she is

731
00:50:05.559 --> 00:50:13.800
horrible in the best possible way.
In the best way. She is like

732
00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:16.519
ten people in the body of one
person. She's acting for ten, all

733
00:50:16.639 --> 00:50:21.639
right. So Colombo kind of gives
Jerry a wonky look and then he's like,

734
00:50:22.039 --> 00:50:24.519
okay, I believe you that that
was a wrong number. That was

735
00:50:24.559 --> 00:50:28.400
a woman though, right. I
like the way you talk to her that

736
00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:30.760
I could tell that the person.
I could tell you were talking to a

737
00:50:30.760 --> 00:50:31.840
woman. And Jerry's like, what
are you talking about? And he's like,

738
00:50:32.119 --> 00:50:36.639
your phone manner was very polite,
much much more polite than you would

739
00:50:36.679 --> 00:50:39.239
be for a man. And Jerry's
wigged out. Clumb was like, you

740
00:50:39.280 --> 00:50:44.239
know what, never mind, I
gotta go buy and he leaves Jerry as

741
00:50:44.280 --> 00:50:47.159
soon as Columba leaves, immediately calls
Nora back. We cut to a country

742
00:50:47.199 --> 00:50:52.880
club. Nora pulls up. Now
she's wearing this very fabulous like tweed coat.

743
00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:55.239
Yes, this is my favorite outfit
of the show. But like red

744
00:50:55.239 --> 00:51:00.639
hose and matching red shoes at the
hose. But then these sunglasses that are

745
00:51:00.679 --> 00:51:04.920
like, I don't know, hexagga. I can't say the word hexagonal,

746
00:51:05.159 --> 00:51:10.119
hexagonal. It's a hexagon in gold
with black dark shades sunglasses. It is

747
00:51:10.199 --> 00:51:15.639
the most fucking excellent thing I've ever
seen. It is so cool. So

748
00:51:15.920 --> 00:51:19.840
Nora and Jerry head into the club
as we see Columbo arrive and he notices

749
00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:22.880
Nora's car and kind of starts looking
at the car. Jerry immediately implies to

750
00:51:22.960 --> 00:51:25.599
Nora, Okay, I know that
you tried to kill me. There's not

751
00:51:25.639 --> 00:51:30.239
even any question in his mind what
happened last night. She denies. He's

752
00:51:30.280 --> 00:51:34.880
not convinced, and he's like,
it's not a problem. We're old friends.

753
00:51:35.400 --> 00:51:37.599
Just pay me ten times the amount
of blackmail you owed me yesterday and

754
00:51:37.639 --> 00:51:42.559
we can just forget this little murder
attempt ever happened again. Not super upset

755
00:51:42.599 --> 00:51:45.400
about Gene, not really even super
upset about almost being murdered. No,

756
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:50.599
take takes one on the chin on
that pretty easily. I will say that.

757
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:53.159
Oh oh, Jerry knows a thing
or two about blackmail and murder.

758
00:51:53.559 --> 00:51:55.960
Yeah. Yeah, He's like,
look, we've all been there. Okay,

759
00:51:57.039 --> 00:52:00.480
you took a shot and you missed. Nora throws it right back at

760
00:52:00.559 --> 00:52:02.440
him. She's admitting nothing. She
tells him she's been copying all of his

761
00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:07.519
letters to Jane, so she knows
that Jerry was borrowing money from Gene to

762
00:52:07.559 --> 00:52:09.480
keep himself afloat. Do you think
she was copying them onto carbon paper?

763
00:52:09.880 --> 00:52:13.880
Of course she was, Paul.
How else would someone copy something in the

764
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:17.119
seventies. The only way to make
copies with carbon paper. So Nora goes

765
00:52:17.159 --> 00:52:20.760
on to say, maybe Jeane figured
out that the only reason you were with

766
00:52:20.840 --> 00:52:22.599
her is to borrow money from her, and she threatened to leave you,

767
00:52:22.639 --> 00:52:25.400
and you killed her. That's a
great motive for me to take the police.

768
00:52:25.400 --> 00:52:29.400
Why don't you shut your full mouth, Jerry, ha ha ha ha.

769
00:52:30.480 --> 00:52:31.960
The two of them start to part, and just as they split up,

770
00:52:32.039 --> 00:52:37.159
Columbo arrives and they start to stammer
suspiciously about why they're together and Columbo

771
00:52:37.199 --> 00:52:43.079
tells them that last night and Nate
noticed a cost beeding away from the scene

772
00:52:43.400 --> 00:52:45.760
of the crime. You know,
and I was hoping maybe the two of

773
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:47.719
you were getting together to figure out
who might I just want to kill Jerry

774
00:52:47.880 --> 00:52:52.840
right sad le Nora tells him that
you're just reminiscing about Jane. But I

775
00:52:52.920 --> 00:52:55.920
must go. I have a meeting. All of Hollywood is in trouble,

776
00:52:55.960 --> 00:53:00.880
and I have to go save it
and Jerry, as she leaves, launches

777
00:53:00.920 --> 00:53:04.679
another barb about how her husband would
be spinning in his grave over the state

778
00:53:04.719 --> 00:53:07.760
of Hollywood, that is, if
he had one. Well, it was

779
00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:12.880
a fishing accident. Is not the
ocean his grave. How does someone die

780
00:53:12.920 --> 00:53:15.559
in a fishing accident? Do you
accidentally get hooked in the eye by another

781
00:53:15.639 --> 00:53:20.800
fisherman and then launched overboard and then
the other fisherman. I'm going with one

782
00:53:20.800 --> 00:53:23.519
of those things where you pull up
a fish right, and you get it

783
00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:28.239
up, but then a much bigger
fish comes up and swallows you and your

784
00:53:28.280 --> 00:53:30.800
whole fishing line. Yeah, like
a whale shark comes in and just goes

785
00:53:31.360 --> 00:53:35.559
like a switcheroo kind of situation,
Like just in your moment of triumph.

786
00:53:35.639 --> 00:53:39.679
Oh no, I've been eaten by
a giant squid ah or struck by lightning.

787
00:53:39.800 --> 00:53:43.679
Just struck by lightning. Guys to
go fishing in a lightning storm.

788
00:53:43.719 --> 00:53:46.079
What's your problem? How are you
doing? Maybe it's the kind of thing

789
00:53:46.119 --> 00:53:51.079
where he went he went to cast
the line back, and somehow the wind

790
00:53:51.079 --> 00:53:53.679
took the line and he got the
line wrapped itself wildly around his neck and

791
00:53:53.719 --> 00:53:57.000
it throttled him. Oh, dear, you know what, that is a

792
00:53:57.039 --> 00:54:00.119
lot more common than you'd think it
is. Be careful. There fishens at

793
00:54:00.199 --> 00:54:06.199
least forty times a day, and
fisher women and fisher people, fisher people.

794
00:54:07.079 --> 00:54:08.880
Let's be inclusive here, Paul,
for god's sake, what are we

795
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:14.719
doing here if we're not being inclusive? We cut to Nora back on set,

796
00:54:14.760 --> 00:54:19.159
where her character is defending herself from
accusations of murder. It is exactly

797
00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:23.360
what you think the scene is like. She's distracted, she's frustrated with the

798
00:54:23.360 --> 00:54:28.440
script though she can't seem to get
her lines right. Columbo sneaks on set

799
00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:30.480
and he starts to watch, but
of course he almost immediately like pumps into

800
00:54:30.519 --> 00:54:35.119
a ladder and makes a loud noise
and they have to stop the scene.

801
00:54:35.360 --> 00:54:37.800
Nora says she needs a walk,
so she goes to walk, and he

802
00:54:37.920 --> 00:54:42.679
intercepts her. He points out that
no one will talk about Jerry even though

803
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:47.719
no one seems to like him.
Huh weird. Could Jerry be a blackmailer?

804
00:54:49.880 --> 00:55:00.079
Nora goes, blackmailer, that's a
guess, even walkmail anyway, I

805
00:55:00.199 --> 00:55:02.719
gotta go, it's African American mail. By the way, that's what we're

806
00:55:02.760 --> 00:55:07.599
saying now, So I don't know
what you're talking about. Blackmail. That's

807
00:55:07.679 --> 00:55:14.000
funny, Detective, that's really your
You should write movies. Is Harpa Marks

808
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:17.920
still alive? You can write for
Harpo Marks. That is a direct quote

809
00:55:19.079 --> 00:55:24.239
to everyone listening exactly what she says. Yes. Yeah. Colombo then goes

810
00:55:24.280 --> 00:55:29.079
on to say that they can't figure
out how Jean's tire went flat, and

811
00:55:29.280 --> 00:55:32.000
that the cars speeding from the scene
of the crime matches a description of all

812
00:55:32.119 --> 00:55:36.760
the studio cars, right, Like, is that weird? All the studio

813
00:55:36.800 --> 00:55:40.000
cars look like this, Win And
Nora's like, ah, anyway, studio

814
00:55:40.119 --> 00:55:45.000
cars. That's funny, like a
like a car n a studio that's like,

815
00:55:45.199 --> 00:55:49.039
you know, what's great? Studio
apartments? They don't talk about that

816
00:55:49.199 --> 00:55:52.760
enough, how small they are,
but also how very very livable studio apartments

817
00:55:52.760 --> 00:55:57.679
are. Anyway, I have to
get back to work because I'm an actor

818
00:55:58.079 --> 00:56:00.639
and I'm in a scene, and
if I don't do my job, the

819
00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:04.800
crew doesn't get paid. And one
hundreds of people work on this movie.

820
00:56:05.519 --> 00:56:09.440
Studio cars. Oh, detective again, an exact quote, exactly xactly,

821
00:56:09.480 --> 00:56:13.639
It's exactly what happened. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, So Nora goes to

822
00:56:13.639 --> 00:56:15.320
get her makeup redone. We hear
in the distance someone's like, Wow,

823
00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:21.199
you're sweating a lot. This is
that same high waisted crew man from before,

824
00:56:21.280 --> 00:56:25.199
and I'm moving for him. I
loved him. And Colombo notices fallin

825
00:56:25.280 --> 00:56:30.920
the curiously young former head of the
studio, right. He goes up to

826
00:56:30.960 --> 00:56:35.079
talk to him, and we get
more of Nora's backstory fallon. Let's let's

827
00:56:35.079 --> 00:56:37.559
Columbo and the audience know that she
inherited a large share of the studio from

828
00:56:37.559 --> 00:56:40.800
her late husband, who died in
that fishing accident, which was, of

829
00:56:40.840 --> 00:56:45.559
course what happened when he tripped in
the boat, fell backwards and cracked his

830
00:56:45.559 --> 00:56:47.519
head open on one of the oarlocks, which actually feels like something that could

831
00:56:47.519 --> 00:56:52.559
happen. That one feels too real. How about he started eating a fish

832
00:56:52.599 --> 00:56:54.280
on deck because he was too hungry
and couldn't wait, and he choked on

833
00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:58.440
a bone and died there it is, Yeah, that makes sense. Yep,

834
00:56:58.639 --> 00:57:01.280
yep. I think what happened is
he tripped and he actually accidentally got

835
00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:04.920
his hand stuck in all the bait, and he was so disgusted he just

836
00:57:04.960 --> 00:57:10.639
decided to end it. I'm forever
unclean now. It's all disgusting, okay.

837
00:57:10.719 --> 00:57:15.039
Valin tells us that most of her
money has gone into financing her own

838
00:57:15.039 --> 00:57:17.960
films, basically all of which have
bombed. Her cottage was given to her

839
00:57:19.000 --> 00:57:22.159
by her husband, and she refuses
to sell it, even though the studio

840
00:57:22.239 --> 00:57:24.119
is in financial trouble. They want
to buy the land, they want to

841
00:57:24.119 --> 00:57:27.679
subdivide it, they want to know, repurpose it, all that stuff,

842
00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:31.559
And he says she won't even sell
her backyard, which she never uses.

843
00:57:31.639 --> 00:57:35.760
It's not fair. It's not fair. Give you give us our land.

844
00:57:35.960 --> 00:57:40.239
Norah Chandler, Yes, I'm really
glad the show brought that up. The

845
00:57:40.239 --> 00:57:44.480
insanity of that house in the middle
of the lot. I was like,

846
00:57:44.800 --> 00:57:47.840
that is so odd that that's a
thing and now it makes a total a

847
00:57:47.880 --> 00:57:52.679
ton of sense. She owns this
huge amount of acreage I guess in the

848
00:57:52.679 --> 00:57:57.039
middle of the most valuable land in
all of California, which is a movie

849
00:57:57.039 --> 00:58:00.840
studio land, and she won't sell
it to them. Yeah. Colombo is

850
00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:04.519
talking to the head of the props
department and complementing him on his record keeping.

851
00:58:05.159 --> 00:58:07.320
He's like, Wow, if the
if only the LAPD kept records as

852
00:58:07.360 --> 00:58:10.239
well as you people do, we
would we would solve every crime. And

853
00:58:10.280 --> 00:58:15.599
I was like, oh gosh,
how do you need to put my head

854
00:58:15.599 --> 00:58:19.719
between my knees or Second, Nora
sends word that she wants to meet with

855
00:58:19.800 --> 00:58:23.639
him in Edith Head's office, and
Erica has a tiny, tiny orgasm and

856
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:28.159
goes, oh my Godhead and this
Edith Heads in the head is okay,

857
00:58:28.280 --> 00:58:30.920
be cool, be cool. You
get to see Edith Head be cool.

858
00:58:30.119 --> 00:58:32.880
Were you cool? I was not? I was I was not cool.

859
00:58:34.320 --> 00:58:39.079
Not cool. So first of all, they walk up to just the most

860
00:58:39.320 --> 00:58:44.840
enormous, giant, glossy red doors
and I'm like, what is this?

861
00:58:45.199 --> 00:58:50.760
And then the door's open and you
you're entered into like the Edith Head's costume

862
00:58:50.840 --> 00:58:53.599
department. And I was just like
this is this is so much better than

863
00:58:53.840 --> 00:58:58.639
I would have paid money to see
this. Oh yeah, So Lieutenant Columbo

864
00:58:58.639 --> 00:59:00.760
walks in. He sees women in
law er everywhere because I guess Edith is

865
00:59:01.400 --> 00:59:07.400
costuming some sort of just costuming a
folly's yes, also film, and he's

866
00:59:07.440 --> 00:59:09.360
like ogling the ladies. He can't, he doesn't know where to look.

867
00:59:09.400 --> 00:59:13.360
He's like, oh, I feel
uncomfortable. Yura sticks her head out of

868
00:59:13.480 --> 00:59:16.440
Edith's office and goes, Lieutenant,
come in here, quit ogling the models.

869
00:59:16.760 --> 00:59:20.760
Joking with him. He walks in
there, she flirts with him.

870
00:59:20.760 --> 00:59:22.920
She tells him, Okay, I
have to admit I've been lying to you.

871
00:59:23.599 --> 00:59:27.599
She says, Jerry's been blackmailing me. He has stuff on me.

872
00:59:27.960 --> 00:59:30.199
I didn't want to tell you because
I knew that would make me look suspicious.

873
00:59:30.679 --> 00:59:34.599
And then she suggests that Columbo get
Jerry's file on her. She's like,

874
00:59:34.639 --> 00:59:37.480
I want you to read the file
so you know everything he has on

875
00:59:37.559 --> 00:59:39.719
me. That way, the suspicion
will no longer be on me. Like,

876
00:59:39.800 --> 00:59:43.519
clearly, I don't care. Do
you know those are actually Edith Head's

877
00:59:43.519 --> 00:59:45.880
oscars that are on the desk in
this shot? Yes? I did,

878
00:59:46.119 --> 00:59:49.639
like it's clearly her office, right, I don't I don't know that she

879
00:59:49.719 --> 00:59:52.400
had her oscars on her desk that
way. I think she had them on

880
00:59:52.400 --> 00:59:55.519
a shelf. I've seen pictures four, but they lined them up on the

881
00:59:55.519 --> 01:00:00.360
front of her desk, so that
like when Lieutenant Colombo comes inside and his

882
01:00:00.440 --> 01:00:04.679
head comes out and bless her.
She's not an actress, that's not what

883
01:00:04.760 --> 01:00:07.719
she's here for. She's just playing
in her head. So she just shows

884
01:00:07.840 --> 01:00:10.039
like some sketches to Nora, and
she's like, how about this outfit with

885
01:00:10.079 --> 01:00:14.480
this, you know, with the
chiffon, and they're they're discussing outfits,

886
01:00:14.519 --> 01:00:16.519
and then she's she leaves right,
So she's only in the scene for like

887
01:00:16.559 --> 01:00:20.840
fifteen seconds, and then he goes, is that who I always see at

888
01:00:20.880 --> 01:00:22.519
the Academy awards? That lady?
And she's like, yes, that's Edith

889
01:00:22.519 --> 01:00:25.199
Head. She's won all those oscars, all right. So we cut to

890
01:00:25.280 --> 01:00:30.480
Jerry's office at Nora's request. It's
a point that we haven't quite made though

891
01:00:30.679 --> 01:00:35.480
that Nora you would expect her to
be perhaps a diva, but she appears

892
01:00:35.480 --> 01:00:37.960
to be very well liked except for
the except for the one execute who's mad

893
01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:40.840
that she won't sell him her land
like. She seems basically pretty polite on

894
01:00:40.920 --> 01:00:45.360
set. She's not nasty to people. She's a little bit high strung,

895
01:00:45.440 --> 01:00:49.920
but she is an actress. The
crew seems to genuinely like her. Even

896
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:53.480
Kevin Bacon and Kira Sedgwick are weird. Everyone's a little weird. Yeah in

897
01:00:53.480 --> 01:00:58.159
Hollywood. Yeah, I agree that
that's a very good point. She's she

898
01:00:58.239 --> 01:01:01.519
seems very professional. So we're in
Jerry's office. Colombo is there with Nora,

899
01:01:01.760 --> 01:01:07.159
Simmons and Jerry all gathered, and
Columbo can't find anything new in Jerry's

900
01:01:07.159 --> 01:01:09.159
file. It's exactly what Jerry told
him it was earlier. It's just you

901
01:01:09.159 --> 01:01:12.679
know, the stuff about her husband
dying, you know, blah blah blah,

902
01:01:12.679 --> 01:01:15.679
blah blah. And Nora walks over
to Jerry and she says, where's

903
01:01:15.760 --> 01:01:19.719
the new stuff? And Jerry says, what are you talking about? She

904
01:01:19.760 --> 01:01:22.760
goes the Italian film. She declares
she doesn't care what happens to her.

905
01:01:22.840 --> 01:01:28.599
She just wants to find Jean's killer. And Jerry rolls his eyes and takes

906
01:01:28.639 --> 01:01:31.800
out the proof, and Nora confesses
to everything about the Italian swindle right,

907
01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:36.599
and Colombo is confused. As to
why she would do this. He goes,

908
01:01:37.079 --> 01:01:38.239
miss Chanler, do you understand what
this is? Gonna do? This

909
01:01:38.280 --> 01:01:40.679
is? And she goes, yes, I know, Please give it to

910
01:01:40.719 --> 01:01:45.280
Simmons. So Simmons takes it,
and he happily tears up the evidence and

911
01:01:45.280 --> 01:01:50.519
says he doesn't care. Norah told
him all about this ten days prior,

912
01:01:50.679 --> 01:01:53.639
long before the attempt on Jerry's life, and they have reached an arrangement,

913
01:01:53.880 --> 01:01:58.480
which, by the way, the
TV show will never elaborate on. What

914
01:01:58.599 --> 01:02:00.079
is the arrangement? Is she gonna
pay them back? No, But doesn't

915
01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:04.239
it seem like he and she are
an item? Yeah, I think she's

916
01:02:04.280 --> 01:02:08.880
paying him back in flesh in flesh. Flesh in fleshly favors, to be

917
01:02:08.920 --> 01:02:14.599
clear, Like he seems genuinely,
very very smitten with her. This is

918
01:02:14.639 --> 01:02:19.039
not a sordid casting couch situation on
his end anyway. Like he's He's like,

919
01:02:19.199 --> 01:02:21.480
yeah, I love her. I'm
going to forgive her anything she does

920
01:02:21.559 --> 01:02:23.519
because I love her. There's no
moment in the film, even when she's

921
01:02:23.559 --> 01:02:27.559
doing bad things that she's not kind
of charming, like, she seems to

922
01:02:27.639 --> 01:02:30.840
genuinely be a fairly nice person.
Yeah, And by the way like n

923
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:34.920
Baxter is fifty when she made this, which I know in nineteen seventy three,

924
01:02:35.039 --> 01:02:40.599
made you a crone, But she's
gorgeous, like absolutely stunningly beautiful.

925
01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:45.079
So just to be clear, what
this is saying is that even if Jerry

926
01:02:45.079 --> 01:02:47.320
did try to blackmail Nora with this
information, she wouldn't have been scared by

927
01:02:47.320 --> 01:02:51.440
it because Simmons already knew about it, so she would have had no reason

928
01:02:51.519 --> 01:02:53.960
to try to kill Jerry. This
is clearing her name from that attempted murder.

929
01:02:54.559 --> 01:02:59.320
Jerry smugly claims to still have more
on Nora, but Nora calls him

930
01:02:59.360 --> 01:03:05.000
a bore and leaves Simmons in her
wake. Very strong neckerchief game from Mel

931
01:03:05.079 --> 01:03:07.559
Ferrara in the scene. Did you
notice that? I noticed that too.

932
01:03:07.639 --> 01:03:12.880
He's wearing like a denim shirt but
like a really like a kerchief. It's

933
01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:15.800
not an ascot, it's a kerchief. It's a kerchief. It is a

934
01:03:15.800 --> 01:03:20.039
neckerchief. Some of the dandier looks
I do enjoy in the seventies, like

935
01:03:20.239 --> 01:03:25.039
the men's looks had like two waves, like really unappealing and weird and boxy

936
01:03:25.559 --> 01:03:29.840
or dandy ish, and the dandy
looks were fantastic, we love this,

937
01:03:30.440 --> 01:03:34.440
We love a Dandy. We cut
to Norah's where has Paul writes here her

938
01:03:34.480 --> 01:03:37.199
gay man servant answers the door to
admit Colombo. Am I wrong? That

939
01:03:37.199 --> 01:03:40.480
guy is okay? So the man
servant you're talking about is the costume assistant,

940
01:03:40.519 --> 01:03:44.280
right, the one who's helping her
put on her Yeah, yeah,

941
01:03:44.360 --> 01:03:47.079
oh yeah yeah, the full Poland. I love it because, like it's

942
01:03:47.119 --> 01:03:52.280
obviously not set out loud, but
it's very clear what is happening here.

943
01:03:52.480 --> 01:03:55.800
He is using his wrists to act. Let's put it that way. He's

944
01:03:55.880 --> 01:04:00.719
like, oh my god, hello, detect him. The risk acting was

945
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:05.880
very important for gay representation in the
sixties and seventies and eighties. It really

946
01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:10.280
was all about the risk. He
was doing the full John Waters. It

947
01:04:10.400 --> 01:04:16.719
is so the gay manservant, Paul
rights, I think he's someone from the

948
01:04:16.760 --> 01:04:20.360
studio. I think he's like a
costume associate from the studio. He worked

949
01:04:20.360 --> 01:04:25.880
with Edith. He admits Columbo,
and Nora tells him to make himself at

950
01:04:25.880 --> 01:04:29.079
home while she gets out of the
costumes that she's been trying on. Right,

951
01:04:29.440 --> 01:04:32.320
So Colombo makes himself at home.
He goes to a TV in the

952
01:04:32.400 --> 01:04:35.800
Lunai, I think, and turns
it on and look at lo and behold

953
01:04:35.800 --> 01:04:40.639
there's an old Nora Chandler movie on
TV that he's actually never seen before.

954
01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:44.079
And he's so shocked. He's like, I'm with Nora Chandler and there's a

955
01:04:44.119 --> 01:04:46.320
Noura Chandler movie on TV. So
he starts to watch it, and on

956
01:04:46.480 --> 01:04:53.400
screen, Nora in this like full
on, hard nosed detective drag right,

957
01:04:53.559 --> 01:04:57.920
like she's playing Sam Spade in a
movie exactly yeah, places a phone call

958
01:04:57.960 --> 01:05:00.239
and explains that she put on in
the sky so that anyone who saw her

959
01:05:00.239 --> 01:05:03.480
would think she was a man.
Columbo looks up at photos of Nora and

960
01:05:03.480 --> 01:05:09.400
her late husband. He seems to
have a realization. Oh yeah, okay,

961
01:05:09.519 --> 01:05:11.960
I think I figured something out here. Doesn't let us in on it,

962
01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:15.400
but he's got something. But he's
got something. Nora then appears.

963
01:05:15.480 --> 01:05:19.960
She's in a fabulous split leg and
I understand the words I just said were

964
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:25.719
fabulous and split leg. I know
that sounds incongruous, but it's not.

965
01:05:26.039 --> 01:05:30.320
It is fabulous. It is a
midnight blue pants suit with magenta lining that

966
01:05:30.400 --> 01:05:34.320
has been paired with a thick gold
metal belt that Paul says, looks more

967
01:05:34.360 --> 01:05:36.559
like a headdress. The belt.
It's one of those I don't know what

968
01:05:36.559 --> 01:05:41.639
it would be called. It's like
it's like chains and it's gathered into a

969
01:05:41.679 --> 01:05:45.079
big thing in the c Yes,
you remember it. I love it.

970
01:05:45.159 --> 01:05:49.159
I think it's so fabulously seventies.
It's the seventies, man. You gotta

971
01:05:49.199 --> 01:05:54.599
have glitter, gold, gild.
It's got to be otherwise seventies more.

972
01:05:54.719 --> 01:05:58.360
They head out and Columbo explains that
he's heard some more about that flat tire.

973
01:05:58.480 --> 01:06:00.199
He says there was nothing wrong with
it, which means that the tire

974
01:06:00.360 --> 01:06:05.559
was intentionally flattened by someone, which
means that Gene was actually the target of

975
01:06:05.599 --> 01:06:12.039
the murder and not Jerry. So
somebody knew Gene would then borrow Jerry's car

976
01:06:12.360 --> 01:06:15.280
and drive it to Jerry's house,
right right. Nora insists that Jeane's death

977
01:06:15.360 --> 01:06:18.239
has to be a mistake. Look
literally, no one hated Gene. It's

978
01:06:18.239 --> 01:06:23.599
impossible. And yet and everyone hated
Jerry. He is obviously the target.

979
01:06:23.599 --> 01:06:26.119
And now I have to go and
do my press, So if you'll excuse

980
01:06:26.159 --> 01:06:29.000
me, I said good day,
I said good day. We cut back

981
01:06:29.000 --> 01:06:31.079
to Nora on set. She's filming
a scene where she's being chased by the

982
01:06:31.119 --> 01:06:35.239
police because subtlety wasn't really a thing. I didn't really worry about that.

983
01:06:36.000 --> 01:06:40.280
After the scene, she rushes off
set and she heads to the bookstore where

984
01:06:40.320 --> 01:06:43.639
Jerry is signing autographs that night.
Remember in the beginning, Jane told us

985
01:06:43.679 --> 01:06:46.239
Jerry had to be at that bookstore
every single night that week. Jerry walks

986
01:06:46.239 --> 01:06:49.320
out of the bookstore and Nora hits
the gas. She tries to run him

987
01:06:49.360 --> 01:06:54.239
down in the parking lot. It's
a great moment here where like the car

988
01:06:54.320 --> 01:06:58.880
is speeding and it's obviously just two
different pieces of film mashed together because Jerry

989
01:06:58.920 --> 01:07:00.840
just kind of disappears like a ghosts
as the car goes by. Aha.

990
01:07:03.039 --> 01:07:06.199
He is also standing like a good
two feet away from the car, like

991
01:07:06.280 --> 01:07:10.199
it's not even closed. Yeh.
Look, she takes a while to wind

992
01:07:10.280 --> 01:07:13.000
up for a slap, and she
gives people at a wide berth when she's

993
01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:15.559
bearing down on them in the car. Okay, so she does it.

994
01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:19.039
Yeah. Colombo was called to the
scene of the crime, and we hear

995
01:07:19.079 --> 01:07:23.039
that Jerry is fine, a little
scratched up, Like the implications he like

996
01:07:23.079 --> 01:07:25.840
threw himself out of the way of
the car, and Columbo seems to have

997
01:07:25.880 --> 01:07:29.800
another realization. He's having realizations on
top of realizations now and yes, he

998
01:07:29.800 --> 01:07:31.559
says, do you are you a
shrine? Did have a shriness ring?

999
01:07:31.559 --> 01:07:35.280
And did you find a shriness ring? Okay? Audience, Like, what

1000
01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:39.360
what would be the equivalent today if
someone if you were like, are you

1001
01:07:39.400 --> 01:07:42.119
are you a shiner? Is anyone
in here a shriner? Like? Is

1002
01:07:42.159 --> 01:07:46.679
anyone in here an influencer? I
need an influencer? Does anyone here I

1003
01:07:46.719 --> 01:07:50.440
need someone with over two hundred thousand
Instagram followers? Is anyone in here an

1004
01:07:50.480 --> 01:07:54.559
influencer? I feel way more comfortable
with over five hundred k. But if

1005
01:07:54.599 --> 01:07:58.480
you over two hundred k, we
can talk. Okay. We cut to

1006
01:07:58.559 --> 01:08:01.840
Colombo interrupting Nora, who's shooting yet
another scene in her movie. She is

1007
01:08:01.960 --> 01:08:08.320
now in the costume that she will
end the movie in, which is a

1008
01:08:08.440 --> 01:08:13.679
brown two piece Maxi dress that kind
of has the pattern similar to that of

1009
01:08:13.719 --> 01:08:17.439
a traditional bandana on it. I
would say this is perhaps the worst outfit

1010
01:08:17.479 --> 01:08:21.039
in the film. I agree,
I agree, this is It's unfortunate that

1011
01:08:21.079 --> 01:08:24.960
Anne Baxter has to end on this
note. I wish they'd given her something

1012
01:08:24.960 --> 01:08:27.560
a little bit it makes her look
old in a way that nothing else has

1013
01:08:27.560 --> 01:08:29.359
made her look. You know what
it is, it's not old, is

1014
01:08:29.560 --> 01:08:32.760
matronly. She looks matronly. She
looks rich and old, which is better

1015
01:08:32.760 --> 01:08:38.399
than old. But she looks like
it's it's not a good look. So

1016
01:08:38.760 --> 01:08:43.119
Columbo interrupts the scene. He tells
her about Jerry's accident, and she goes,

1017
01:08:43.159 --> 01:08:45.760
oh my god, I'm so taugh, I'm so worried. That's awful.

1018
01:08:45.880 --> 01:08:46.680
And he tells her, well,
you know, he's unconscious, so

1019
01:08:46.680 --> 01:08:49.199
we can't even ask him if he
saw who tried to hit him. He's

1020
01:08:49.199 --> 01:08:54.680
severely hurt. And she goes,
what and he goes, yeah, well

1021
01:08:54.680 --> 01:08:57.159
you know, we can't. We
can't ask and and she goes, god,

1022
01:08:57.199 --> 01:09:00.319
I guess this means that Jean's death
was an accident. After all.

1023
01:09:00.479 --> 01:09:02.279
She just can't help herself, right, she asked to she has to lead

1024
01:09:02.319 --> 01:09:05.760
the detective where she wants him to
go. Colombo says, all right,

1025
01:09:05.800 --> 01:09:11.399
we need some privacy, and he
sends everyone else away. He tells Nora

1026
01:09:11.520 --> 01:09:14.880
that, look, Jerry contacted me. He said he was onto something new.

1027
01:09:15.479 --> 01:09:16.880
He says, he wanted to meet
me to tell me about it.

1028
01:09:17.039 --> 01:09:20.760
When he was struck by the car, and Columbo tells Nora that an envelope

1029
01:09:20.840 --> 01:09:26.359
marked NC was found in Jerry's pocket, and he shows her what was inside,

1030
01:09:26.880 --> 01:09:30.319
a shriner's ring. Nora shits her
pants. She doesn't actually, but

1031
01:09:30.399 --> 01:09:32.960
that is what her face tells us. She does. My Aunt Baxter really

1032
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:36.560
does do a perfect shitting my pants
face. It is the set of an

1033
01:09:36.600 --> 01:09:40.920
Activita commercial up in there, right, Like she has like one eye twitching

1034
01:09:41.079 --> 01:09:44.520
in the other, and like there's
a vain bulging from her forehead. The

1035
01:09:44.600 --> 01:09:46.800
animal instinct is taken over of like
I have to get out of here before

1036
01:09:46.840 --> 01:09:51.119
anyone smells the fact that I just
shit my pants, right ah, Which,

1037
01:09:51.279 --> 01:09:54.720
honestly, if you are going to
shit your pants, that is the

1038
01:09:54.800 --> 01:09:58.840
perfect outfit in which to shit your
pants in. It is it is canonically

1039
01:09:58.920 --> 01:10:01.079
poop brown. No one will see
it. They might smell it, they

1040
01:10:01.159 --> 01:10:03.680
might catch a whiff before they see
it, but no one will see a

1041
01:10:03.800 --> 01:10:09.079
damning Nora tells him, well,
she has no idea what that would possibly

1042
01:10:09.119 --> 01:10:14.119
be about, and Colombo excuses himself, apologizing for interrupting her shooting. I'm

1043
01:10:14.159 --> 01:10:15.760
so sorry, miss Chandler, I'm
so sorry. This is awful oh,

1044
01:10:15.760 --> 01:10:19.479
the whole thing is awful. Nora
says, I'm sorry, Detective Columbo,

1045
01:10:19.520 --> 01:10:25.560
but I'm not feeling well. I
need to head home. If anyone heard

1046
01:10:25.600 --> 01:10:29.279
something, that was Erica slapping her
palm to her to her forehead like a

1047
01:10:29.319 --> 01:10:31.840
Scarlett Harra in a scarlettle haraw moment
she was in the moment she was feeling

1048
01:10:31.840 --> 01:10:35.600
it. I got the vapors sometimes
just I do it just for you.

1049
01:10:35.720 --> 01:10:41.319
I perform just for you. The
thing I love on Anne Baxter is that

1050
01:10:41.439 --> 01:10:45.640
she she speaks every sentence like she
supposed to run out of brook Yeah,

1051
01:10:45.760 --> 01:10:53.960
hello, Paul, I'm so happy
to be here, So the last word

1052
01:10:54.039 --> 01:10:58.840
is always truncated, especially when she's
pretending to be upset, like I'm sorry,

1053
01:10:59.079 --> 01:11:02.239
Detective simply not relieve very well.
She runs out of the studio.

1054
01:11:02.359 --> 01:11:08.000
She heads all the way back to
her cottage, right her tiny little fourteen

1055
01:11:08.079 --> 01:11:12.319
bedroom cottage on the lot. She
bursts in. She rushes all the way

1056
01:11:12.359 --> 01:11:15.880
to the doors of her lenai overlooking
the garden. You will remember. She

1057
01:11:15.199 --> 01:11:18.920
opens the doors of her garden just
as the lights to her house are turned

1058
01:11:18.960 --> 01:11:26.399
on. She spins around, looking
like a teenager cop masturbating. She finds

1059
01:11:26.399 --> 01:11:30.720
Colombo, there, Detective Candon,
woman run around in the dark in your

1060
01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:35.039
own house anymore without being followed by
the police. Can a woman sprint off

1061
01:11:35.119 --> 01:11:41.479
set in costume without being suspicious?
Cant a woman just open French doors out

1062
01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:46.199
into her lunai without anyone looking at
her like she's crazy. Colombo says that

1063
01:11:46.239 --> 01:11:49.279
he knows that she killed Jean Davis, and he's there to arrest her for

1064
01:11:49.359 --> 01:11:51.800
it. You know what I can, I take it back and do my

1065
01:11:51.840 --> 01:11:56.720
best Colombo, Okay, and you're
like, oh good, I'm glad.

1066
01:11:56.720 --> 01:12:00.279
I'm glad we got to have this. It's great. There's nothing I like

1067
01:12:00.359 --> 01:12:03.600
more than you're doing an impression of
someone that that you're like. You like

1068
01:12:03.680 --> 01:12:09.239
half tribe also half just turned it
into some kind of like cookie Monster voice

1069
01:12:09.439 --> 01:12:15.560
a performance art piece. Yes,
ah now no, I'm in my head,

1070
01:12:15.680 --> 01:12:21.840
damn it, poop. I just
pictured Cookie Monster in a jacket like

1071
01:12:23.239 --> 01:12:28.199
Colombo. That would be fucking amazing. I'm sorry, I think you killed

1072
01:12:28.560 --> 01:12:31.800
the lady. I think you ate
the cookies. She asked him what he's

1073
01:12:31.800 --> 01:12:35.560
doing there, and Columbo says,
I know you killed Jean Davis, and

1074
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:41.159
I'm here to arrest you for it. Has that a decent Colombo, decent

1075
01:12:41.199 --> 01:12:45.199
Columbus. Ha ha, it's a
little cookie Monster. It's a little Colombo

1076
01:12:45.279 --> 01:12:50.520
by way of cookie monsters. Sprig
of cookie monsters. There Ah Cookie saying

1077
01:12:50.560 --> 01:13:00.319
you bort Lady Christ. She tries
to brazen her way through me. Killed

1078
01:13:00.399 --> 01:13:04.039
Jean, but I loved Jean.
Jeane was my assistant. She was my

1079
01:13:04.039 --> 01:13:09.920
assistant for she was my faithful friend. And he bears down on her.

1080
01:13:10.279 --> 01:13:13.720
When Jerry said he had more on
her, Colombo thought he was bluffing,

1081
01:13:14.079 --> 01:13:16.439
but her body language suggested that there
might be more to it. Right,

1082
01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:19.600
So he's like, I could tell
by the way you were sorry, we

1083
01:13:19.640 --> 01:13:24.279
do my Columbo ready, I could
tell by the way you are looking that

1084
01:13:24.479 --> 01:13:30.520
you there has to be an episode
of Sesame Street at some point where Cookie

1085
01:13:30.600 --> 01:13:32.239
Monster and Peter Falk solve a crime. Right, that has to be a

1086
01:13:32.279 --> 01:13:34.960
thing. We have failed as a
society if that is not a thing.

1087
01:13:35.119 --> 01:13:38.319
Yeah, if we did not,
now it's too late. We can't go

1088
01:13:38.359 --> 01:13:40.199
back. Well, Cookie still with
us, though, if we could get

1089
01:13:40.239 --> 01:13:44.600
Cookie Monster doing Colombo. So Colombo
is like, listen, I guess there

1090
01:13:44.680 --> 01:13:47.439
might be more to the blackmail.
I think you might have had a secret

1091
01:13:47.479 --> 01:13:51.239
that Jane might have known about,
and that's why you killed Jane, to

1092
01:13:51.279 --> 01:13:57.119
stop her from revealing whatever secret that
was to Jerry. And then the fountain

1093
01:13:57.520 --> 01:14:00.720
when I noticed it wasn't running before, remember, And then she's like,

1094
01:14:00.880 --> 01:14:02.880
I've told you, Detective, it's
a prop. It's a prop from a

1095
01:14:02.880 --> 01:14:06.439
film. And he's like, yeah, but I talk to my friend at

1096
01:14:06.439 --> 01:14:10.680
the Props apartment and I found out
that you had ordered it the day after

1097
01:14:10.760 --> 01:14:14.960
your husband's death. Right, what
a weird fucking thing to do. My

1098
01:14:15.119 --> 01:14:18.039
husband's dead. We write to you
know, Joe at the apartment and be

1099
01:14:18.079 --> 01:14:21.720
like, remember that fountain from that
movie I was in forty five years ago?

1100
01:14:23.199 --> 01:14:26.159
Can you bring it over my bungalow? Please? Can? I?

1101
01:14:26.159 --> 01:14:30.800
Can I tell you my favorite Anne
Baxter line reading of the entire entire episode,

1102
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:34.279
please do so. Columbo is like, you know that the fountain.

1103
01:14:34.319 --> 01:14:36.720
It bothered me because there was no
water. You know, most people like

1104
01:14:38.039 --> 01:14:40.720
the sound of water running, and
there wasn't any water running, and most

1105
01:14:40.720 --> 01:14:43.399
people like that sound. And it
cuts to and Baxter and she goes,

1106
01:14:43.760 --> 01:14:49.800
well, I don't this maniacal expression
on her face like, ah, he's

1107
01:14:49.840 --> 01:14:56.880
handed me all I need to prove
that I am not the killer. So

1108
01:14:57.039 --> 01:15:00.920
now he says he knows why the
fountain doesn't run. In order to lay

1109
01:15:00.920 --> 01:15:04.119
the water line, someone, someone
would have had to dig up the lawn.

1110
01:15:05.119 --> 01:15:09.640
That's the best I could do.
That is the very good. It's

1111
01:15:09.720 --> 01:15:13.399
solid. It's solid with the audience
can't tell. The listeners can't tell as

1112
01:15:13.399 --> 01:15:16.560
I'm doing a hunched over. I'm
doing that the body perfectly. It's just

1113
01:15:16.600 --> 01:15:20.560
a voice that is failing me.
Your impersonations are more physical than vocal.

1114
01:15:20.640 --> 01:15:25.640
Sometimes you really you throw yourself fully
into it. I can't you feel the

1115
01:15:25.720 --> 01:15:31.199
moment they have to be because I
can't do any voices. It's not true,

1116
01:15:31.600 --> 01:15:36.640
all right. Norah's face falls.
She knows she's done. She heads

1117
01:15:36.640 --> 01:15:40.720
to the bar. She pours herself
a drink. She offers Columbo one as

1118
01:15:40.760 --> 01:15:45.720
well, and he explains, I
was just playing hunches that managed to bluff

1119
01:15:45.800 --> 01:15:48.239
you with the story about the Shrins
ring. But you know, it occurred

1120
01:15:48.239 --> 01:15:51.319
to him while he was watching her
movie that she was dressed as a man,

1121
01:15:51.920 --> 01:15:55.479
and the night her husband died,
someone had claimed to have seen her

1122
01:15:55.520 --> 01:15:58.920
husband get in a fishing boat,
but in the dark from a distance,

1123
01:15:59.760 --> 01:16:06.399
it it been Nora herself and Nora
says it was it was detective. It

1124
01:16:06.720 --> 01:16:12.000
was that fateful night her husband,
who constantly cheated on her, brought a

1125
01:16:12.039 --> 01:16:15.159
gumad into her house. You'll bring
a guman into my house, into this

1126
01:16:15.239 --> 01:16:19.720
house we share, into my bed. They had a huge fight. She

1127
01:16:19.800 --> 01:16:24.199
hit him on the head with a
bottle, seemingly accidentally killing him. It

1128
01:16:24.239 --> 01:16:26.920
was not a premeditated murder. It
was a murder and a fit of passion

1129
01:16:26.960 --> 01:16:30.800
and rage. She buried him in
the backyard, and Jane knew about it,

1130
01:16:30.039 --> 01:16:34.760
dying to know how these two women, who combined might weigh two hundred

1131
01:16:34.760 --> 01:16:41.640
and ten pounds, dug up the
backyard to bury a fully grown man into

1132
01:16:41.760 --> 01:16:45.560
it in there and covered it back
up and resotted the whole thing by Dawn.

1133
01:16:45.800 --> 01:16:47.359
I presume Gene help. It has
to be how Gene knows right that,

1134
01:16:47.479 --> 01:16:50.399
yeah, Jane helped to bury the
body or something, which would imply

1135
01:16:50.479 --> 01:16:55.920
that she also has some skin in
the game as far as keeping it covered.

1136
01:16:56.439 --> 01:17:01.159
Yeah, some culpability or even her
interpretation. Nora in a fit of

1137
01:17:01.279 --> 01:17:05.439
rage just like had that rage strength
and did it all herself. And then

1138
01:17:05.479 --> 01:17:11.079
the next day was like, so
we're not gonna talk about Gerald anymore,

1139
01:17:11.760 --> 01:17:14.119
and she's like, and Jean's like, what do you mean? Where did

1140
01:17:14.199 --> 01:17:17.119
Gerald go? And she's like,
Gerald went to a farm upstate where he

1141
01:17:17.119 --> 01:17:21.600
could play with other Geralds all day, if you get my meaning. She

1142
01:17:21.680 --> 01:17:27.199
just tears up the lawn with their
bare hands, like the Hulk rows the

1143
01:17:27.199 --> 01:17:31.079
body like John Crawford and mommy dearest, just pulling up, pulling up roses.

1144
01:17:31.880 --> 01:17:34.399
I'm not mad at you, garden, I'm mad at my husband.

1145
01:17:36.159 --> 01:17:41.760
So Jeane very calmly says, I'll
get a coat and we'll go, and

1146
01:17:41.840 --> 01:17:45.399
Columbo leads her out in a wide
shot as the garden fountain slash grave marker

1147
01:17:45.640 --> 01:17:50.960
is in the foreground, and the
credits play the crime is solved. What

1148
01:17:51.079 --> 01:17:55.640
a fun show? What a fun
fucking show? Can I tell you too?

1149
01:17:56.199 --> 01:17:59.439
Maybe I wasn't giving the show enough
credit for like going deep on the

1150
01:17:59.479 --> 01:18:04.239
crimes, but I was genuinely shocked
at the reveal. Not the reveal that

1151
01:18:04.239 --> 01:18:06.760
she killed her husband, because I
kind of figured that out earlier, but

1152
01:18:06.840 --> 01:18:12.319
like the reveal that Jane knew she
killed her husband and that was the actual

1153
01:18:12.359 --> 01:18:15.039
motive for killing Jean, because I
I think I had just written it off

1154
01:18:15.039 --> 01:18:19.279
as like Jene probably knew about other
like financial stuff like da da da.

1155
01:18:19.279 --> 01:18:24.079
It never occurred to me, and
that's probably stupid. It probably was much

1156
01:18:24.119 --> 01:18:28.439
more obvious to other people that like, oh, that's why she killed Jean.

1157
01:18:28.600 --> 01:18:32.199
That's a legit fucking reason to kill
someone. Yeah, no, I

1158
01:18:32.199 --> 01:18:35.000
didn't. I didn't catch it either. Like the show, and there's there's

1159
01:18:35.039 --> 01:18:38.680
like little red herrings in the show, and there's little clues that I just

1160
01:18:38.720 --> 01:18:44.000
cut out just for ease of like
retelling, but like it's genuinely a show

1161
01:18:44.000 --> 01:18:46.560
where there's not a wasted word,
Like everything actually means something. And I'm

1162
01:18:46.560 --> 01:18:51.199
sure like a more seasoned, like
learned Columbo viewer would be like, oh,

1163
01:18:51.279 --> 01:18:55.399
that fountain, that fountain, that
that fountain something like. But I

1164
01:18:55.439 --> 01:18:58.000
actually wasn't. It just like flew
right by me the first time, and

1165
01:18:58.000 --> 01:18:59.880
then at the end when it came
back, I was like, oh dang,

1166
01:19:00.560 --> 01:19:05.560
yeah yeah, And like obviously that's
why, even though she's in financial

1167
01:19:05.600 --> 01:19:09.680
streets, she's not going to sell
that house because her fucking dead husband is

1168
01:19:09.760 --> 01:19:13.520
under it, so she can't sell
it. So she has to pretend like

1169
01:19:13.600 --> 01:19:18.079
she's super into that house and like
can't sell it back to anyone for sentimental

1170
01:19:18.119 --> 01:19:21.560
reasons. All right, so stick
around. We will be right back with

1171
01:19:21.600 --> 01:19:29.279
our random observations and final rankings for
Requiem for a Falling Star after these messages

1172
01:19:29.279 --> 01:19:42.079
for all you non patrons out there, and we're back Erica, do you

1173
01:19:42.119 --> 01:19:47.840
have any Do you have just a
couple more things? Just just just one

1174
01:19:47.840 --> 01:19:51.600
more thingful? So there's a few
shots in this where she has like she

1175
01:19:51.640 --> 01:19:55.399
picks up a phone and makes a
dramatic phone call, right, and like

1176
01:19:55.880 --> 01:20:00.079
everything Anne Baxter does is like ten
out of ten. And but there's the

1177
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.800
the phone in her wet bar is
one of those elegant old tiny ones that

1178
01:20:02.880 --> 01:20:09.439
have like an ivory handle, and
like delicately, I just miss landlines so

1179
01:20:09.600 --> 01:20:13.560
much. They are so elegant.
It looks like a phone you should be

1180
01:20:13.560 --> 01:20:16.119
talking on while in like a like
like a like a silk penoir with with

1181
01:20:16.199 --> 01:20:20.960
marabou feathers, Yes, lounging in
your bed eating bonbonds. Yes, it's

1182
01:20:21.079 --> 01:20:26.760
so elegant. I like the way
she like just gently places it on the

1183
01:20:26.800 --> 01:20:30.760
receiver. Everything about that phone and
landlines in general, I am showing my

1184
01:20:30.800 --> 01:20:35.359
whole ass today. Between the carbon
paper and the landlines, I'm gonna get

1185
01:20:35.359 --> 01:20:40.600
an AARP notice in the mail today. We just waxed podic about landlines last

1186
01:20:40.600 --> 01:20:43.920
week for how did ops I married
an ex murderer? Did wait? I

1187
01:20:43.960 --> 01:20:47.079
forgot I'd forgotten that because I'm old. I'm so old, I don't know

1188
01:20:47.079 --> 01:20:51.239
what we talked about last week.
We are on one about landlines. Uh

1189
01:20:51.840 --> 01:20:56.560
did you notice in this so there's
two cars that feature very prominently. There's

1190
01:20:56.640 --> 01:21:00.359
Jean's car and there's Jerry's car,
and they're both so tiny and low to

1191
01:21:00.399 --> 01:21:04.119
the ground. Like. I don't
like being in cars. It's It's part

1192
01:21:04.119 --> 01:21:06.399
of the reason I live in New
York. I like to be not in

1193
01:21:06.439 --> 01:21:12.039
cars as often as I can be. But those little roadster death traps.

1194
01:21:12.279 --> 01:21:14.079
Every time they got in one,
I was like, Ooh, I don't

1195
01:21:14.119 --> 01:21:15.920
like this. It makes me nervous. Well, also, mel Ferrara is

1196
01:21:15.960 --> 01:21:19.079
pretty tall and so like, yeah, we don't see him getting in or

1197
01:21:19.079 --> 01:21:21.920
out of that car, but we
see Jeane getting in and I was I

1198
01:21:23.000 --> 01:21:26.520
literally the whole time was thinking like, how does mel Ferrera even fit in

1199
01:21:26.560 --> 01:21:30.439
a car that side? Because that
woman, who's like a good six inches

1200
01:21:30.479 --> 01:21:32.239
shorter than him, is like hitting
her head against the ceiling of it.

1201
01:21:32.279 --> 01:21:38.039
Reminded me of that Rock Hudson moment
and that in Yes, Yes, where

1202
01:21:38.039 --> 01:21:41.359
they get into the car and he
can't fit in it. Yeah. A

1203
01:21:41.479 --> 01:21:45.800
couple of lines that I love and
they both come from fallon the suspiciously Young

1204
01:21:45.840 --> 01:21:48.000
former studio head. Yeah. One
is this is all in the same scene.

1205
01:21:48.039 --> 01:21:51.079
He's talking to Colombo and he goes, take my advice, stay away

1206
01:21:51.079 --> 01:21:55.680
from actors. They'll kill you.
Excellent, very good. And the other

1207
01:21:55.720 --> 01:21:59.039
thing he says to him after the
detective says something like I wouldn't have typecasted

1208
01:21:59.039 --> 01:22:00.800
her as a killer, and he
he turns to the detective and he goes,

1209
01:22:01.199 --> 01:22:05.880
well, I would never type test
you as a detective. The shade

1210
01:22:06.720 --> 01:22:10.720
girl. What is this? Oh, it's my gauntlet, Let me throw

1211
01:22:10.760 --> 01:22:15.000
it. Can I share two Nora
Chandler lines that I like because she has

1212
01:22:15.039 --> 01:22:17.680
some good birds in this episode.
Okay, So the first one is when

1213
01:22:17.680 --> 01:22:21.199
they're in Jerry's office and she's demanding
that he show all the evidence and you

1214
01:22:21.199 --> 01:22:24.960
know, she's pulling the fast one, and he says, no, I

1215
01:22:25.000 --> 01:22:28.199
still know something. He leans forward
and he taps his forehead and he goes,

1216
01:22:28.439 --> 01:22:30.960
you can't get a search warrant for
what's in here? And she says,

1217
01:22:31.000 --> 01:22:35.920
you can't get bus fair for what's
in there, very solid. And

1218
01:22:35.960 --> 01:22:41.760
the other one is in Edith's head's
office when rumpled Columbo comes in with all

1219
01:22:41.800 --> 01:22:44.159
of his clothes. It don't fit, and she says, why don't you

1220
01:22:44.159 --> 01:22:46.600
have your wife take you shopping for
your anniversary? Take a look at suits,

1221
01:22:46.720 --> 01:22:53.800
shirts, slacks, socks, shoes, right down the list. Have

1222
01:22:53.880 --> 01:22:57.199
you considered an investment in personal hygiene
products? A hair brush, mike,

1223
01:22:57.319 --> 01:23:00.279
for god's sake, met a razor? What else can you get? What

1224
01:23:00.359 --> 01:23:04.119
if she just kept talking? Belts, buckle spats, perchips, don't forget

1225
01:23:04.119 --> 01:23:08.279
the kerchiefs, detective, for god's
sake, man, get a kerchief,

1226
01:23:08.439 --> 01:23:14.119
please, detective, Never forget a
kerchief. There's a whole bit at the

1227
01:23:14.279 --> 01:23:20.000
end where Colombo knows she's getting nervous
because she's drinking on set. That same

1228
01:23:20.119 --> 01:23:26.119
high waisted man Paul gives her,
gives her like a drink on set and

1229
01:23:26.199 --> 01:23:29.000
calms her down. And so he
goes and talks to him because Colombo does,

1230
01:23:29.199 --> 01:23:30.640
and he's like, does she usually
drink on the job? And he

1231
01:23:30.640 --> 01:23:33.920
goes, Never, she is a
consummate professional. She never drinks on the

1232
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:36.920
job unless she has to, unless
she's under pressure. And I'm like,

1233
01:23:39.720 --> 01:23:42.119
so, like all the time then, right, all the time? Then

1234
01:23:42.359 --> 01:23:45.319
all the time? Like, yeah, so she's an alcoholic. Right.

1235
01:23:45.359 --> 01:23:50.239
It was the weirdest nineteen seventy three
logic of like, she's definitely not an

1236
01:23:50.239 --> 01:23:56.239
alcoholic. She does drink at work
though, yes, during the day of

1237
01:23:56.279 --> 01:23:59.760
the time. Anytime she feels the
slightest bit of pressure, she takes a

1238
01:23:59.760 --> 01:24:03.720
show like anyone would. Yeah,
like everyone in nineteen seventy three does.

1239
01:24:03.760 --> 01:24:06.279
That is the most normal thing in
the world. I don't even know why

1240
01:24:06.279 --> 01:24:13.680
we're still talking about this. Frankly, one very minor thing. When Columbo

1241
01:24:13.760 --> 01:24:16.159
drives onto the lot, do you
notice the man in full indigenous costume?

1242
01:24:16.560 --> 01:24:20.960
Yeah, I biking. I always
love when, like movies and TV shows

1243
01:24:20.960 --> 01:24:25.279
do this when they show like the
background of a studio lot and it's like

1244
01:24:25.279 --> 01:24:29.760
like a person dresses Abraham Lincoln in
the background. Excellent. I just have

1245
01:24:29.840 --> 01:24:32.039
one And this is just one more
thing, Just one more thing. What

1246
01:24:32.319 --> 01:24:39.319
just d cookie have one more?
And that is that the music at the

1247
01:24:39.439 --> 01:24:43.479
very very end of the show is
far too jaunty for what we're looking at.

1248
01:24:44.159 --> 01:24:47.399
It is, as you remember it
ends on a slow fade out of

1249
01:24:47.479 --> 01:24:54.000
like her ex husband's grave essentially her
backyard with the fountain in it. But

1250
01:24:54.039 --> 01:25:00.199
the music is like, dude,
do do do dude? Whoa you can

1251
01:25:00.239 --> 01:25:03.520
get a grave here? Calm the
fuck down music, learn get a cold

1252
01:25:03.560 --> 01:25:09.880
case finally being solved, I think
twelve years after it. Yeah, killed,

1253
01:25:10.279 --> 01:25:15.199
like definitely decomposed corpse under her fountain. Can music not be like la

1254
01:25:15.319 --> 01:25:19.159
la la la la la la la
la la la sounds like the sounds like

1255
01:25:19.159 --> 01:25:28.920
the smurfser singing Paul, how shall
we rank this glorious episode of Columbo Requiem

1256
01:25:29.199 --> 01:25:31.920
for a Falling Star? One to
ten sheets of carbon paper the only way

1257
01:25:31.960 --> 01:25:39.520
to copy AA. One to ten
men in high waisted pants, pants so

1258
01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:43.279
high waisted I could see their balls
in their mouth, pants so high wasted

1259
01:25:43.319 --> 01:25:45.520
that you don't need suspenders, just
need a pair rubber bands. I'll do

1260
01:25:45.560 --> 01:25:50.439
it. One to ten master classes
in slapping, what you God want to

1261
01:25:50.439 --> 01:25:55.439
do is do a full forty five
second wind up. You want to get

1262
01:25:55.720 --> 01:25:58.560
You want to give a lot of
air. You want to just get as

1263
01:25:58.600 --> 01:26:01.520
much air as possible between you in
the face before you what you have in

1264
01:26:01.560 --> 01:26:04.800
the master class on slapping is you
have four You have four units. First

1265
01:26:04.880 --> 01:26:10.000
is the wind up, ah,
Second is the contact uh huh, third

1266
01:26:10.199 --> 01:26:14.600
is the is the is the rebound, and fourth is the bon. You

1267
01:26:14.640 --> 01:26:16.800
have to say something after slapping the
person, you know, Yeah, you

1268
01:26:16.840 --> 01:26:19.439
need to follow through though. It's
like a good golf swing. You have

1269
01:26:19.479 --> 01:26:24.000
to follow all the way through.
Otherwise it's it's barely a slap. It's

1270
01:26:24.000 --> 01:26:28.359
barely it's a tap. Then it's
a left tap. Frankly, how about

1271
01:26:28.640 --> 01:26:33.359
one to ten? You never expected
to meet a legend raising your arms like

1272
01:26:33.439 --> 01:26:39.279
a Vita on the balcony, ha
ha ha. I think for all the

1273
01:26:39.319 --> 01:26:42.239
Anne Baxter has done for us,
we should do this for her, because

1274
01:26:42.239 --> 01:26:44.800
I do now you do, never
expecting me to legend, She's not wrong.

1275
01:26:45.000 --> 01:26:48.960
Yeah, for the absolute fucking queen, that is an Baxter. Do

1276
01:26:49.000 --> 01:26:53.119
you want to go first or shall
I go first? I'll go first on

1277
01:26:53.119 --> 01:26:56.920
this one. I'm gonna rate it
pretty high. I think it's fair like

1278
01:26:57.079 --> 01:27:00.560
it does fall down in some of
the ways we normally care about. I

1279
01:27:00.600 --> 01:27:04.560
cannot recall a single person of color. There was extras. There was a

1280
01:27:04.600 --> 01:27:09.760
black woman and Eatith's head office walking
out. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't.

1281
01:27:09.840 --> 01:27:12.159
Yeah, it doesn't. That's great, that's not really great. I

1282
01:27:12.199 --> 01:27:15.800
know, it's nineteen seventy three,
and so like what even what the fuck

1283
01:27:15.840 --> 01:27:18.039
even was the world in nineteen seventy
three, But like it's a lot of

1284
01:27:18.039 --> 01:27:26.239
white people being white at each other. There is some decent female like roles.

1285
01:27:26.279 --> 01:27:30.720
I mean, obviously like Norah Chandler, excellent role, excellent role,

1286
01:27:31.119 --> 01:27:33.760
Gene. I would say, it's
even a pretty good role until she dies.

1287
01:27:34.479 --> 01:27:38.119
Yeah, sadly she's the victim,
so she only has about ten minutes

1288
01:27:38.159 --> 01:27:41.680
of time with the episode, yeah, or I think even less than that,

1289
01:27:41.720 --> 01:27:45.399
honestly. But they do talk about
something other than Jerry. They talk

1290
01:27:45.439 --> 01:27:48.800
about They talk about like Nora and
her career and Jean's career too. In

1291
01:27:48.840 --> 01:27:53.239
a way, there's Edith's Head.
I mean, like, yeah, you

1292
01:27:53.359 --> 01:27:58.000
get to see the greatest of all
time costume designer in her office with her

1293
01:27:58.039 --> 01:28:01.239
oscars being Edith Head. That gives
it automatic points for me. Frankly,

1294
01:28:02.359 --> 01:28:05.800
I think gay representation. We have
the we have the one, we have

1295
01:28:05.840 --> 01:28:09.920
the gay man Service, we have
the Paul Lynde costume assistant. I'll let

1296
01:28:09.960 --> 01:28:12.920
you talk about him. I'm gonna
go high. I'm going to give it

1297
01:28:12.960 --> 01:28:16.880
a six. Yeah, I'm gonna
give it a six because again, there's

1298
01:28:17.279 --> 01:28:19.840
no people of color at all in
this thing, which sucks. But like

1299
01:28:20.640 --> 01:28:26.680
I frankly wasn't expecting anything and I
was not surprised. So but yeah,

1300
01:28:26.680 --> 01:28:29.920
I'm going to give it a six
out of ten. Uh, you never

1301
01:28:30.079 --> 01:28:33.279
expected to meet a legend, That's
right. I think it's so great that

1302
01:28:33.319 --> 01:28:36.640
you get to see Anne Baxter in
this role, like, and she's she's

1303
01:28:38.079 --> 01:28:42.199
she is like an age Norma Desmond
is in Sunset Boulevard and she is full

1304
01:28:42.199 --> 01:28:46.479
of freaking Norma desmonding it and I
just love her so much. So yeah,

1305
01:28:46.840 --> 01:28:49.079
six out of ten. You never
expect to meet a legends, how

1306
01:28:49.119 --> 01:28:51.960
about you, Paul? Uh?
Yeah, I agree. Like, by

1307
01:28:53.000 --> 01:28:55.960
the way, I don't think I
wrote in the this is nineteen seventy three.

1308
01:28:56.039 --> 01:28:58.199
I don't think we ever said that
in the beginnings, which is on

1309
01:28:58.319 --> 01:29:00.760
me. That's on me. I'll
take I'll take the l on that nineteen

1310
01:29:00.800 --> 01:29:05.079
seventy three this came out, so
it's pretty far before our usual timeline,

1311
01:29:05.119 --> 01:29:09.199
right, we usually start in nineteen
eighty, so it's you know, so,

1312
01:29:09.319 --> 01:29:12.680
yeah, like you said, I
was not expecting there to be a

1313
01:29:12.800 --> 01:29:16.279
large number of people of color with
significant roles. There are actually fewer roles

1314
01:29:16.279 --> 01:29:20.000
in it than I expected in a
murder mystery, But I think that's because

1315
01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:23.359
it's not a who done it,
so they don't have to present you with

1316
01:29:23.439 --> 01:29:27.479
a bunch of potential suspects. It's
just Columbo working his way through it,

1317
01:29:27.520 --> 01:29:30.399
which kind of like takes that,
Yeah, that's true. I never thought

1318
01:29:30.399 --> 01:29:34.119
about that. There's very few people
in it really yeah, so I think

1319
01:29:34.159 --> 01:29:39.800
it ages really well for something from
nineteen seventy three. I mean, these

1320
01:29:39.840 --> 01:29:45.520
are sins of omission, not sins
of like horrible representation or horrible stereotypes or

1321
01:29:45.560 --> 01:29:50.520
anything. Right. The gay answer
I loved. I mean, I don't

1322
01:29:50.560 --> 01:29:56.720
know if that guy just was gay
and couldn't keep it in the tank,

1323
01:29:57.239 --> 01:30:00.840
or if he was an actor that
was hired and decided to make a choice.

1324
01:30:00.199 --> 01:30:03.680
Who knows, but the wrist acting
was fabulous. I loved it.

1325
01:30:03.840 --> 01:30:05.960
I actually tried to look up his
name, and I don't think he's listed

1326
01:30:06.000 --> 01:30:10.600
on IMDb, which makes me think
like everything was a lot looser back then,

1327
01:30:10.680 --> 01:30:13.760
that it was just just like Anne
Baxter's dresser, that they were like,

1328
01:30:13.800 --> 01:30:15.520
can you just come in here?
And say this real quick just wasn't

1329
01:30:15.520 --> 01:30:19.720
a thing maybe, I mean,
yeah, it's feel a little inside baseball,

1330
01:30:19.760 --> 01:30:23.079
right because they have Edith hid in
it, so it could be something

1331
01:30:23.079 --> 01:30:26.560
who works in the costume department for
real, and like I used to be

1332
01:30:26.600 --> 01:30:28.880
an actor? Can I do it? And they're like, okay, sure

1333
01:30:28.960 --> 01:30:30.960
charge, yeah, sure, go
do it. Yeah. Uh but yeah,

1334
01:30:31.079 --> 01:30:33.840
and you're right, like Nora Chandler
is a great a great role.

1335
01:30:33.920 --> 01:30:38.479
Like part of the thing with Colombo
is that he often doesn't enter until after

1336
01:30:38.520 --> 01:30:42.199
the first act of the the episode
they're doing. So Norah Chandler probably has

1337
01:30:42.399 --> 01:30:45.560
as much, if not more screen
time than Colombo in this. She has

1338
01:30:45.600 --> 01:30:48.439
more screen time than he does.
Yeah, she's in the in the whole

1339
01:30:48.479 --> 01:30:54.159
thing, and she's serving the entire
time, the entire time. Yes,

1340
01:30:54.640 --> 01:30:58.439
indeed, so you said six,
Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you.

1341
01:30:58.479 --> 01:31:01.239
I'm going to say a six out
of ten. And then he never expected

1342
01:31:01.239 --> 01:31:06.399
to meet a legend except she runs
out of stead before she gets to the

1343
01:31:06.520 --> 01:31:15.159
end. You never expect. I
think that was just the seven packs a

1344
01:31:15.239 --> 01:31:19.680
day they were all smoking back bench. Colombo just seems like a great comfort

1345
01:31:19.680 --> 01:31:23.880
watch if if you're into it,
I mean I might watch another one,

1346
01:31:24.039 --> 01:31:27.119
one or two. I mean there's
one with Donald Pleasants that's supposed to be

1347
01:31:27.159 --> 01:31:31.119
amazing. It's apparently considered to be
like the best Columbo episode ever produced about

1348
01:31:31.159 --> 01:31:34.560
like a like a wine maker or
something, and Donald Pleasance is in it.

1349
01:31:34.600 --> 01:31:38.520
So I don't know. Maybe I'll
watch them this weekend with my mom.

1350
01:31:38.800 --> 01:31:42.239
That seems a good, like lovely
weekend to have. It sounds like

1351
01:31:42.239 --> 01:31:45.039
she would make her very happy.
I have a question for you, obviously,

1352
01:31:45.439 --> 01:31:47.640
like the we knew who did it
kind of from the jump, but

1353
01:31:47.760 --> 01:31:51.800
did you still think this was a
good murder mystery? Yeah? I like

1354
01:31:51.920 --> 01:31:56.800
the how catchum aspect of it.
The show did a good job of planting

1355
01:31:56.840 --> 01:32:00.279
a lot of clues that I,
again, as a not seasoned columb you

1356
01:32:00.439 --> 01:32:03.359
er did let go by. But
then when in doing the recap, I

1357
01:32:03.399 --> 01:32:06.079
was like, oh no, they
actually planted that, like the fact that

1358
01:32:06.119 --> 01:32:10.239
she killed her husband, and like
the fact that at the end the shriner's

1359
01:32:10.319 --> 01:32:15.039
ring makes her concerned. Oh no, he discovered my husband's body. That's

1360
01:32:15.199 --> 01:32:18.039
that's the thing. And it's all
like it's guessing on Columbo's part, but

1361
01:32:18.039 --> 01:32:24.199
it's educated guessing. It's smart guessing
and like they let the character be intelligent,

1362
01:32:24.800 --> 01:32:27.319
but it doesn't feel like they pulled
a rabbit out of the hat at

1363
01:32:27.319 --> 01:32:30.600
the end and there was no possible
way you could have come up with it.

1364
01:32:30.800 --> 01:32:32.119
Yeah, right, Like there's obviously
some leaps, I don't think.

1365
01:32:32.159 --> 01:32:34.920
I don't think the first time anyone
watches this, no one is thinking she

1366
01:32:35.039 --> 01:32:40.920
definitely killed her husband and underneath that
fountain, Yeah, yeah, like there's

1367
01:32:40.920 --> 01:32:45.479
a lot there, but like there
is a permission structure within it that makes

1368
01:32:45.520 --> 01:32:49.680
sense and you can understand how this
super genius detective did figure it out right,

1369
01:32:49.920 --> 01:32:54.760
It's true, I will say I
still I was surprised that I was

1370
01:32:54.800 --> 01:32:58.840
surprised by the ending, the fact
that like the tiny last piece of the

1371
01:32:58.840 --> 01:33:00.920
puzzle that Jean knew she killed her
husband and that's why she killed Jean.

1372
01:33:01.079 --> 01:33:08.439
I was, I actually out loud
one ooh. That's why I agree.

1373
01:33:08.479 --> 01:33:12.239
It's totally fun. It's a total
fun watch. It's it's decent, you

1374
01:33:12.279 --> 01:33:16.920
know, decent murder mystery. I
can't wait to get to more like authentically

1375
01:33:17.239 --> 01:33:20.720
murdery mystery things later this month,
Yes, because I feel like the first

1376
01:33:20.760 --> 01:33:25.479
two have been sort of softball murder
mystery been softer. Next two I think

1377
01:33:25.479 --> 01:33:30.359
we have are hard boiled, hard
boiled mysteries. Speaking of I am going

1378
01:33:30.439 --> 01:33:32.479
to give a palate cleanser. I
think you were going to give the same

1379
01:33:32.479 --> 01:33:35.439
one. Right, It's poker Face, Yeah, I mean, look,

1380
01:33:35.560 --> 01:33:40.159
watch Colombo. They are all available
on like multiple streaming services. You can

1381
01:33:40.199 --> 01:33:42.960
watch this on Amazon, you can
watch this on TV or whatever. You

1382
01:33:42.960 --> 01:33:45.279
can watch it, watch it on
Peacock, Peacock. Yeah, They're all

1383
01:33:45.279 --> 01:33:47.399
over the place, so you can
watch it on any streaming service. But

1384
01:33:47.439 --> 01:33:53.239
Peacock also has poker Face, which
is has only one season. It's got

1385
01:33:53.239 --> 01:33:56.960
an arc. But also every episode
has a murder mystery or a mystery of

1386
01:33:56.960 --> 01:34:01.159
some sort that Natasha Leone solves and
it is truly excellent. I think yeah,

1387
01:34:01.199 --> 01:34:05.920
definitely all right, So that is
the end of our show. Everyone

1388
01:34:05.960 --> 01:34:09.760
listening can follow us on Instagram,
they can follow us on Twitter, you

1389
01:34:09.760 --> 01:34:13.119
can follow us on threads. We
have a tea public shop. Please go

1390
01:34:13.239 --> 01:34:17.560
and buy shirts from us for Spotify
users. We put questions and polls out

1391
01:34:17.319 --> 01:34:20.279
about the episode, and we would
love it if you leave us a five

1392
01:34:20.279 --> 01:34:25.359
star of view and Apple Podcasts or
on any podcasting platform that you may use.

1393
01:34:25.600 --> 01:34:28.760
If you do that, just like
podfan nineteen seventy five, did you

1394
01:34:28.840 --> 01:34:30.000
do that? You let us know
you did, and we send you a

1395
01:34:30.000 --> 01:34:33.920
that age Well tote bag. That's
how we roll here at that Age Well.

1396
01:34:34.920 --> 01:34:39.640
The tote bag will also have evidence
of a murder inside and you get

1397
01:34:39.640 --> 01:34:43.560
to solve the murder. Aren't you
lucky? That aged Well is produced and

1398
01:34:43.680 --> 01:34:51.960
edited by Paul Kaola Hey by this
gay man servant right over here. You

1399
01:34:53.039 --> 01:34:55.840
guys couldn't see it, but he
did some risk acting just now. It

1400
01:34:55.960 --> 01:35:00.560
was a risk acting. Yeah.
If you want to suggest films TV for

1401
01:35:00.640 --> 01:35:04.079
us to watch that match with our
monthly themes, follow us on Instagram.

1402
01:35:04.159 --> 01:35:09.119
We did go rogue today. Yeah, but we did pick a lot of

1403
01:35:09.159 --> 01:35:15.800
stuff from Instagram this month for Murder
Mystery March. If you want to vote

1404
01:35:15.880 --> 01:35:18.039
in one of the films that we
cover, you can join our Patreon.

1405
01:35:18.279 --> 01:35:21.920
Every patron gets to vote in an
exclusive monthly poll to determine one of our

1406
01:35:21.920 --> 01:35:27.279
subjects. That's not next week,
but the week after will be our Patreon

1407
01:35:27.319 --> 01:35:30.920
pick for the month. So head
on over to patreon dot com slash That

1408
01:35:30.039 --> 01:35:35.199
aged Well podcast to find out more. And speaking of which, some tears

1409
01:35:35.199 --> 01:35:40.479
on our Patreon come with thanks from
a podcast character, and today we're hearing

1410
01:35:40.560 --> 01:35:45.600
from the great great great grandfather of
Peter Falk, mister Harvey Firestem. Oh

1411
01:35:45.600 --> 01:35:48.720
Hello, hello, Hello. How
did you know about me and Peter being

1412
01:35:48.800 --> 01:35:55.119
related? That's not usually known.
You're smartie. It's so lovely to see

1413
01:35:55.159 --> 01:35:59.000
you again. And on the day
you're doing Colombo, you little twinkies.

1414
01:36:00.079 --> 01:36:03.359
Now. I once pitched Showtime on
an all gay reboot of Colombo with me

1415
01:36:03.479 --> 01:36:09.319
and the lead. I called it
Colombo Homo Side Division. Yeah. Yeah,

1416
01:36:09.319 --> 01:36:12.640
you thought you were the first person
who heard Bill Holden say Homo side

1417
01:36:12.640 --> 01:36:16.479
You weren't you? Weren't your little
your little hoo cupcakes. Okay, Showtime

1418
01:36:16.560 --> 01:36:18.800
bought it, you know, but
you know they fired me and after they

1419
01:36:18.800 --> 01:36:21.960
were done with it, it became
Homeland. But anyway, I'm here to

1420
01:36:23.039 --> 01:36:29.119
thank Sunshine, Sunshine, thank you
for being a patron of that aged Well

1421
01:36:29.479 --> 01:36:34.239
do you know that song from Pippin
and if we all good, spread a

1422
01:36:34.239 --> 01:36:39.960
little Sunshine. They asked me to
play Bertha in the last pip In revival,

1423
01:36:40.000 --> 01:36:42.479
but I took one look at the
aerial act requiet and said, no,

1424
01:36:42.640 --> 01:36:45.520
thank you. You want to see
Harvey Firesteine doing tricks while wrapped in

1425
01:36:45.560 --> 01:36:50.199
silk. You can hope for an
invitation to my boudoir. So thank you,

1426
01:36:50.319 --> 01:36:56.479
Sunshine, keep shining, keep smiling, and knowing you can always count

1427
01:36:56.520 --> 01:37:01.359
on your uncle Horvey. He is, he is a font of theatrical stories

1428
01:37:01.439 --> 01:37:04.800
he does, he does. I
would never I would listen to an entire

1429
01:37:04.840 --> 01:37:09.479
album of him singing Pippin. Yeah, so would I. I would not,

1430
01:37:09.479 --> 01:37:11.000
not that I have anything to do
with it. Would not want to

1431
01:37:11.000 --> 01:37:14.199
be the one to have to produce
the noises for an entire singing album.

1432
01:37:14.279 --> 01:37:17.239
Aha, No, no, no, we should do that. Hey everyone,

1433
01:37:17.399 --> 01:37:25.199
we should do that. Right,
let's do that, Doug. Let's

1434
01:37:25.199 --> 01:37:27.560
get me to an E N T
first and figure out what kind of things

1435
01:37:27.560 --> 01:37:30.439
we can put on my vocal course
to protect them for whatever is happening back

1436
01:37:30.479 --> 01:37:34.439
there. All right, Erica?
Any final thoughts on Colombo? Cookie would

1437
01:37:34.479 --> 01:37:41.159
like to know why murder weapon up
the man's butt? Oh? They never

1438
01:37:41.199 --> 01:37:45.039
did that on Colombo? I don't
think. No, what do you mean,

1439
01:37:45.199 --> 01:37:46.680
never put a murder weapon up a
man's butt. I don't even know

1440
01:37:46.720 --> 01:37:48.840
what you're talking about, Detective.
I would never do such a thing.

1441
01:37:49.000 --> 01:37:51.880
Why would I put an axe handle
up a man's behind to kill him.

1442
01:37:53.039 --> 01:37:56.920
That's insane. That's absolutely insane.
You know what else is insane? Cookie

1443
01:37:56.960 --> 01:38:00.039
crumbles. Those are delicious, aren't
they? They drive me crazy? Anyway,

1444
01:38:00.359 --> 01:38:12.119
nice trench coat. I have to
go why I have to pause the

1445
01:38:12.159 --> 01:38:17.680
podcast and tell you something. OKAYI
die, remember dying? Okay, I

1446
01:38:17.720 --> 01:38:23.159
cannot wait. Please. I just
had a snapshot of a dream that I

1447
01:38:23.239 --> 01:38:26.319
had. I don't know why,
and I don't remember any context, So

1448
01:38:26.439 --> 01:38:29.239
just the snapshot is all you're gonna
get because it's all I remember. And

1449
01:38:29.560 --> 01:38:32.039
on a beach somewhere, but it
was like a nude beach, but all

1450
01:38:32.079 --> 01:38:38.199
the men had tucked, like deeply
cuffed their penises, so you only saw

1451
01:38:38.359 --> 01:38:42.359
like the penis weirdly, I don't
know why, from the back. Like

1452
01:38:42.439 --> 01:38:45.199
everyone's penis was so long it like
actually came out through their butt their back

1453
01:38:45.239 --> 01:38:48.800
butt cheeks. So when I was
looking at were butts with just tiny penis

1454
01:38:48.840 --> 01:38:54.279
heads poking out. That's a dream
I had. Why was I on a

1455
01:38:54.319 --> 01:38:57.880
beach with is it a ken thing? Kend you wanted a vagina that's what

1456
01:38:57.920 --> 01:39:00.439
you were in. It wasn't even
a thing. I noticed. I was

1457
01:39:00.479 --> 01:39:05.479
like Anyway, moving on, here
we are again. Looks like they're turtle

1458
01:39:05.479 --> 01:39:12.520
heading with their dicks on Vangina Cove. I love my vacations to Vagina Cove.

1459
01:39:15.760 --> 01:39:20.399
The Grunnion are running on Nachina Cove. The Managina Cove Grunion Run is

1460
01:39:20.439 --> 01:39:26.079
not to be this just don't go
on Spring Bridge