Right, Yeah, and there was some infidelity there, Cry me a goddamn
river see rat sass Hills rating. It's a one. Did your dad rob
a bank or run a person over in a wheelchair to try and get away?
Because that's a four? Try and do better next week. I pause
real quick and just go back. So is the person that he ran over
in a wheelchair? Or? Okay? Because I thought you were talking about
him being in a wheelchair and running someone over. That would be a two
because he's in a wheelchair. How do he get in the wheelchair? Then
we can go down that. How did he run the person over? That?
Right? Yeah? Hi? Hello, and welcome aboard, Akay,
welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another belowdeck podcast. I'm Dylan,
I'm saddled across from one Patrick permission to come aboard? H granted, really
mixed things up there, Huh? I mixed things up there. Oh you've
been doing it a long time, you know. No, I know,
fresh joint to the face. Reason being below decks? So bad? Now
below decks? So are we still really going? We're in the twenty ninth
mile of a marathon at this point. Look, the season's always overstay their
welcome, Dylan. It just got to make the fucking season shorter. I
mean, have we been watching this show for years now? I mean it's
crazy episode, not that good. But we've got a hilarious podcast coming up.
I haven't heard it, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be hilarious.
What the one that we're going to do next after we record the one that
we're doing right now. Oh yeah, this will be hilarious. Don't worry
about it. Don't worry. We always bring our e game. I want
to talk about another podcast that we did earlier this week, Dylan, which
I think even if you're a barnacle and you just love to hear us talk
about below Deck, me like to give us a chance or an opportunity to
show you how great we are when we just bullshit extend the voices to normal
life. All right. Perhaps you're listening to this episode of our recap of
below Deck on bad TV. Great, you're already here. If you're listening
to us on another below Deck podcast feed, jump over to bad TV.
I think we've done enough promo this week. We dropped an episode on Saturday
where Dylan and I went to go see Bill Burr perform at the Hollywood Bowl.
Despite us both being at the same venue and having tickets next to each
other, we never actually got to sit next to each other to see the
show. Why I never saw you? That's right, Yeah, I didn't
see it. Bill Burr is a horrible, pandering, hack comedian who made
eighteen thousand people put their phones in a back Yeah, so we couldn't communicate
with each other to help coordinate meeting each other in the venue. Yeah,
no, We've got a great gauntlet of the entire evening. You saw me
actually because I was waving my white hat, that's right. So yeah,
it's a very very fun story. Go listen to another podcast. And if
you think Bill is not as authentic self and just a hacky, pandering comedian,
I do too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll enjoy it,
right, right, And if you're let's do this. If you'd like to
laugh, that's right, give it a listen if you like to laugh.
All right, So let's get into this episode. Patrick, how many pots?
All right? Would you give this episode? Okay, it wasn't a
great, great episode. Okay, Okay, I want to say I love
Carrie. I thought he wasn't gonna be as great as he is. He
is in fact great. He has a sense of humor about himself. Dare
I say he is? What would the word be competent? Can you do
you mind? Can I? And I apologize? Went to my phone to
put it on do not to serve and to find the notes for the episode.
Got a text with Lebron in a AI generated sexy made costume. The
AI stuff surrounding Lebron right now is very very odd. So what you said,
I didn't hear anything. That's okay. You don't need to. I
came out too when you're okay, Okay, Captain Carey's awesome. Hey,
dude, if you're ever in a studio city, a twenty two dollars cheeseburger
at Laurel Tavern, it's on me. Oh and a Jacuteri plate. There
you go. Those are lovely. And one one margarita one because I'll have
to stay in line for thirty minutes to get another one and it's too much
expensive money. Okay, after that one, that's it. That's right,
Okay. We might be interviewing Paris. I think this week. We'll see.
After this episode, we'll see. Look, I'm fascinated by her mayonnaise
consumption, but I'm more interested in why she decided to be what I call
a galley squatter. Now we've had Captain Times share, that's Sandy. They're
very difficult to get out. The cops can do absolutely nothing. You can't
do anything. She just lives in the galley. She doesn't pay rent.
She's there. Yeah, that was Paris this episode, And I will ask
her if we get her on the horn, are you just fucking with us?
Or should you in fact live in a room with pads on it and
have your lunch slid underneath a space underneath the door because you are a mental
page. Right, I would say you would be a mental patient in that
scenario, right, So please tell us you're just fucking round. Okay.
Anyway, decent episode. I enjoyed it. I think we only have like
two left and it is time to take this a season around to the back
of the barn and shoot it shit. Yeah, like Christy nem that's right.
Who would write that in a book and destroy their political career? Yeah?
Who would say that they stared down Kim Jong un and then, when
confronted about it, would say, you know, I was made aware of
that at it do you write that this is what I have to tell people.
I tell people, especially like with anybody, stop making these people heroes.
They're just people. They're idiots on both sides. Stop listening to them.
No, but that and that concludes politics with another below deck podcast.
But I'll tell you you know my agrarian relatives in Virginia. I mean,
the thought of ethanizing an animal and having a a vase with like their palm
and ceramic next to it, the way that we do in Los Angeles is
absolutely insane. Yeah, yeah, you just shoot them. Yeah, well
there not here, but not here here. I had my nineteen year old
Jack Russell Terry Rat Terry or Spotty Boot sit on my lap while we administered
the deadly drug. But he had been walking around like he was one of
those animals that came out of pet cemetery for the better part of two years.
My wife finally yelled at me and said, you're not doing the staminy
right right, he's lame and he's possessed by something. How many pots did
you give him, Shira, I'm gonna go ahead and give it zero pots
as well. I think that like we talked about last week. This season
is a twenty thousand dollars tip. This season is twenty thousand dollars tip.
It's not good, it's not bad. It's let's go out, let's get
drunk, and let's try again next charter. The saddest part about the season
is that our dear Phrasee is not only not coming off great on camera,
but I worry about his longevity on this show because while Bravo does rule the
roost, you know, they are the people that say we found a TGI
Friday's model on Instagram. She has two hundred and thirty followers. She's going
to be on the show. She's never been on a boat in her life.
She's from Montana, completely landlocked. But I think they go on boats
there, so let's do Idaho. But Fraser, I think is in danger
of an important voice having a say in this matter, and that's Captain carry
just going. You know what. He's not the kind of person I want
helming this team, and I really worry for Frasian upcoming seasons because of that.
Here's the good news. He's not going anywhere. Yeah, I do
think he's great television. I will say the last episode I had noted.
I believe at this point he's tried to get four different people fired. I
did. I recounted he has, in fact try to get four people fired.
So I was concerned because I wanted to maybe do a podcast with Fraser
in the future. I'd be doing it with him like two episodes in.
I'm like, why is he talking to Dylan and he's over there trying to
get me fired? Right, snake in the grass. You couldn't start a
business with this guy. Try to get me fired? You try to get
Dylan about Can you imagine being in that toxic headspace with a business partner?
I mean, it'll be fucking nuts, all right, So zero pots.
I'm you know, let's do something or or let's get to the Zoom reunion,
which I don't think we'll watch. There will not be a Zoom reunion.
What there won't be a Zoom reunion. They haven't done those in a
while. It's so crazy. The sea routs are all just out on various
different plots of rock on this planet, you know, so it's tough to
wrangle them. Hey, can I start the show? Yeah? Of course.
Are you gonna start with the lyric of the song that we hear.
No, what's the lyrics? Palm trees up so high, sunburn in my
eyes, having the time of my life, which that sounds absolutely awful to
I mean, it's not possible to sunburn your eye. I don't think.
No, no, no, you go blind. Yeah, it's like look
out, a lunar eclips you can't do it. So maybe the song is
about knowing. We've got a daredevil type character. Okay, she's been blinded
by vacation and she has this faint awareness of the palm trees being there,
and now that she's blind, she's having the time of her life. It's
very confusing. Why don't you go ahead and start this show? Okay,
well it's morning, Dylan, and there's lots happening. So we jump around
the boat quite a bit. Here. Y Fraser is literally crawling out of
bed he had a run night. Captain Carry is learning a new language,
and Barbie and Kyle are just wrapping up round three of a little boom boom
session and Barbie's dad is doing this. We've got a sound effect. Can
I guess the YouTube video that you found that sounds of abu grabe? No,
no, no, it was a guy screaming as he jumped off a
five story build. Yeah yeah, and you know I was thinking about this,
you know, because all jokes decide. You know, life really does
have real life consequences. You know, he didn't want Barbie to, you
know, sleep with Kyle. You know, yeah, she's like round two
right now. No, life does have real life consecrationce I mean, listen,
it's a tough lesson to learn, but I mean, now, yeah,
Dyla, some would say, you know, watching your daughter have sex
with some bum on you, you know that would like anger you and possibly
get you to jump off and Kyle, but he is a sea rat,
that's right. Yeah. But how about the guy working on the second floor
selling mufflers? You know he had to watch that happen. How about his
mental health? It affects all all people, is my point. Oh what
are you saying? Like, so the guy that works on the mufflers thing,
he's on the second floor, he had to watch Barbie's dad jump off
the roof. I mean, here's a therapy. Oh god, Barbie chose
to sleep with this bomb, right and now look at There was a movie
about this with Amy Smart and Ashton Coocher. Called the butterfly effect. That's
right, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think
there was a bomb in a mailbox. Yeah, something like that, Barbie
and produces Kyle to her mom, which is quite big, and he starts
with I'm hungover. Now, you know, we'll chalk it up to nerves.
But that's a little too chill to be meeting Argentine mom for the first
time. That's true. I actually have the transcript of how it went down
to huh yeah. He does say, yeah, I'm a little hungover,
and then then mom says a hey, you know how you feeling, and
he says, quote great, I just came no, no, no,
no, he said that. Can we move on please? Sure? So
the guys, okay, so this is my one of my biggest pet peeves.
I'm watching the show Sea rat men who scrub wood and glass and throw
ropes and whatnot, you know, kind of slapping their own wrists because they
know hot hot girls are coming aboard charter guests like those filthy, yucky normal
normies that have been paying a five thousand dollars right right right, These people
actually have a boat, but just the the like, you know, am
I gonna be able to control myself kind of thing. This isn't your daydreams,
this is real life. I mean, they have to agree to fuck.
They have to agree to fuck you. And you're a you're a poor
drunk who works on a boat. Like listen, I get that it can
happen. But anyways, So Sonny sees who Ben is at this point,
but says that there is chemistry, which is Listen, we talked about life.
We talked about time. You know, it's the most important asset.
If you know, one of human being's favorite pastimes is lighting time on fire.
I think we're all quite good at that. Sonny seems to be excelling
in that department with Bet. If you want to take your time and just
light it on fire, go ahead and hang out with nipples. Wive often
use this phrase, you bought the ticket, take the ride, Sonny,
go ahead. Now you see that he's a pig. Yeah, he wants
to f everything that moves, and you're the sex is pretty good with him,
and you're having a good time. You know what, have a great
time, have a great time. But I'm not gonna listen to you whine
about it. So Dylan is already macking on the girls in in you know,
the Kingz kind of way that he goes about macking on girls. They
go, are you Dylan, and he says, yeah, all right.
So the guests have already been on the boat, right, Okay, okay,
sorry, So Chef and Fraser are not doing well. They have a
conversation about plates versus no plates. Nick just wants to throw sushi at people's
face on the beach, which I think is quite inventive, but he's pretty
adamant that whether they do that or not, no plates. Okay, we're
going family synd Now, this is an important germ of storyline to get laid
because later on it'll unfurl itself in quite atardly way. Paris gets involved.
Okay, so Nick pushes back against Fraser's suggestion. Now Fraser would say that
this is Nick being basically a prick, but I would argue that it's just
the difference of opinion. Nick is, in fact his own department. Nick
is, you know, we talked about it. He's two thousand and three
talk show host. Okay, he'll stare at the tits, he'll comment on
the legs, he'll comment on the diet, all of it not great,
But this double pronged attack that he is facing from these two, I'm so
confused by it. It's just like, what is going on? He does
not seem deserving. I agree, all right. So my next note is
we learn that the blank the note stops there, So oh, it's probably
Captain Carey giving the primary dad like a little tour of the engine room.
Perhaps thirty thousand gallons. Yep, that's crazy. It's a lot. My
prius is only like eleven gallons. And that's just for a charter, a
single charter. It's a lot of fuel. Man, all right. So,
Paris and Ben, why would you want to buy a boat? You
know these people that get so wealthy. It's like I'll buy a light money
on fire. I mean, it's just nuts. It does sound nice to
have a boat, but just the enterprise you have to have behind it is
ridiculous. You know, anything that you have to hire people for a full
time and because the boat needs constant like you know, care, love and
affection. That's right. You can't just let the boat float there, No,
no, it'll rot. So Paris and Ben head out for beach set
up. The only reason I'm bringing this scene up is because nipples. This
is when they're getting ready for things, and nipples says, don't worry about
Nick. He's forty years old and he's still in yachting, Ben Ben.
When you were forty years old, what what place are you going to be
other than smack dab on the teak of a boat? I mean, what
are we talking about here? Nips? It's true. So I pointed out
though that in the Yawning World, and I used to talk about k Chastain,
who was a friend of the show, of course, that like you
start hitting a certain age, it's like Logan's run, they should like just
kill you. You know, you can't go on anymore, right and listen,
Like I hesitate to say this, but you know, I'm sure there
are a lot of like forty five year old heroin atticts working in kitchens who
are inspired by Anthony Bourdain. But the thing is that's a that's an outlier.
Okay, you're gonna overdose on a burner. I'm sorry, it's it's
really bum it's a bummer thing to say. But K Chastain is K Chastain
for a reason. Okay, you can either go the K Chastain route,
which you don't have the talent for or you can go the Ashton Penar route.
I've gotten the fourth email from his publicist today about his new book.
We can't talk. We can't talk about the book. We don't want we
honestly, we just don't want to. We don't think the fans would enjoy
it because we wouldn't enjoy it. And I haven't told her that in writing,
but I'm saying it now, all right, So a couple of notes
on this thing. So when Ben asked Paris how things are going with old
Nick, she answers, not well, he talks to himself. Or perhaps
here's a theory, Chef Anthony's uncle is still in the walls that works in
the galley. In fact, the voice keeps talking to Nick, you know,
he's like, hey, you want to play catch? And then he
asks him where his girlfriend live? Yeah, yeah, I wonder Nick's off?
Yeah, and hey, where's your girlfriend? Nickok? Shut up?
What was that? Was that? A pan? Nick says, you know,
I don't really have a girlfriend. I'm into you know, kind of
crazy like chain smoking bitches. You know, That's why I'm forty years old
and I dress like I'm in some forty one, the the the white Oxford
with the black necktie at bowling. I mean, I cannot wait to talk
about Well, at least he wasn't wearing a skirt. Okay, well it's
a kilt. That's what I meant. We'll get there. So we move
on to the beach. It's soushe, it's salad. It's two a mistake
in pronskeuwers with some kind of brulat. But Paris and Nick really go at
one another here. It was more of her going after him. And yes,
yes, so Nick does a very very I don't know where we are
in the episode, okay, so my notes are confused. We're on the
beach, We're at the picnic. A lot of the staff is there.
Everyone's sitting down and basically Nick at some point when he's getting you know,
getting Paris in his ear, he's like, fuck it, I got to
go back to the boat and start prepping dinner. So he leaves her with
the task of having to heat up the krembl leg Yes, okay, so
Nick takes a really great approach, and I got to tell you his conflict
resolution or his dealings with Paris have been you know, outside of the comment
on our weight. It's kind of a big blemish, that's true. I
mean he's knockning out of the park. He's like, he's like a fucking
sawdu with this girl. I mean he's so patient. He just leaves and
I forgot So she didn't want any food near her bar area. So already
she's drawn a line which is supposed to be working together, Paris. What
are you talking about? I mean, you poison these people on a regular
basis. You know, there's cross contamination all over this boat. But more
people die of falling coconuts than what pigs you eat. How about three legged
dogs on that beach or hypodermic needles. Hypodermic needles. Yeah, coconuts are
dangerous. So we get to see rat history between Vampira and brother Sea rat
scale. What are we talking her? We had a one? Okay,
So she is it about her brother? Oh yeah, yeah, so her
parents used to fight, right, yeah, and there was some infidelity there.
Cry me a goddamn river Sea rat Sassy Hills rating. It's a one.
Yeah, did your dad rob a bank or run a person over in
a wheelchair to try and get away? Because that's a four, try and
do better next week. I pause real quick and just go back. So
is the person that he ran over in a wheelchair? Or? Okay?
Because I thought you were talking about him being in a wheelchair and running someone
over. That would be a two because he's in a wheelchair. How do
he get in the wheelchair? Then we can go down that. How did
he run the person over? That's right? Yeah, but that's not the
tail she weaved. Sorry, there was pathetic outing showing forgive me. Yeah,
Dylan, what are your thoughts on lunch? Though? Lunch was basic?
Warm, fair? You know. We chuck some tuna on a grill,
we check some shrimp on a barbie, and roll up some sushi.
You know, that's all we can do. It's lunch. But I think
his food's fairly decent so far. But we have to get to Dylan delivers
the sex on the beach. I mean heavy handed? Okay, yeah,
very heavy handed. I don't know where Dad is. These are all sisters,
right or are these friends of sisters. I think we've got a couple
sisters. We've maybe got a friend. Okay, well, I think we've
got a friend. Sex on the beach. Can you imagine being the friend's
parents. My god, she comes home from a yacht vacation one bad night.
She just flips out says, you're not like Sarah's parents. I wish
you were Sarah's parents. I wash you were dead. I wish you were
dead. You know those Melinda's brothers. I might get out of jail in
the next couple months. Ago, well they should, I think so,
I think thirty years. Yeah, it's been enough time. I have an
unbelievable tale to spend on another podcast show about somebody who I think should be
jailed. It was a talk about driver that we'll get into it. Okay,
I'm excited. Yeah, all right, So I want to talk about
was it Cheffy returning and Carrie checks in with him, and Carrie takes Chef
Nick on the side about plating gate, and uh, maybe he's taking his
side because they're both so old, you know. Yeah, by the way,
yeah, fuck you sea rats. Whoever said that forty is not old
old? Patty used to think thirty was old old, and then Patty turned
thirty one, and I said forties old, And then I'm pretty sure that's
when I YEA said forty is not old. And now sixty here we come.
Hopefully by then we'll have the technology for me to buy a new face,
you know, so I can be twenty again. Yeah, but not
like you know, those leather necks from the Real Housewives. I'm gonna get
a real new face. No, no, no, you don't. Are
you speaking of wattles. I'm just talking about you know, you're talking about
the texture of the skin. They get a lot of face jobs and it
just looks weird, you know, right right right? Would you get a
new skeleton if you could. No, I just need a new head,
new head. My body's pretty good. You ever see like an eighty year
old dude. Yeah, it's things that are exposed to the sun for eighty
years that look old. Oh yeah, I constantly wonder how the sun gets
to the bones like that. No, no, no, you see an
eighty year old who's looked after himself, his body looks like he's a thirty
five year old. Oh well, hardly. But you get what I mean.
When they when they kind of umbrella handled down towards where they're going are
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I watched an old person walk today. I
mean it's one of the saddest things. Yeah. In the developed world.
I think top two saddest things very fat people eating something healthy by themselves and
old people walking walking. Yeah, I mean, but I'm not talking about
just any old person. I'm talking about somebody who's bent. Yeah. Yeah,
it was really sad. That's tough. Hey, anybody want to know
what's a sex? Sex? Is it sex in the beach or sex on
the beach? On? On? Okay? I used to like this when
I was twenty two. Classy cocktail to offer just for our listeners, vodka
OJ cranberry juice and if you're a classy bitch, peach snaps. It's pretty
tasty. I don't think anyone has ever said, if you're a classy bitch,
then peach snops right, right, because peach snops is I mean,
that's a liquor for trash. Yeah that's right. Yeah. Okay, So
Fraser and Carrie have a little bit of a chat because Fraser and Paris gass
each other up like me and girls. I mean, it's just unbelievable.
And Carrie does this thing where he's he's a shamanic bald man. Okay,
he's an all knowing drill instructor. And Fraser has failed an intel test right
when they're having lunch with each other, and then Carrie tries to get out
of Fraser. What took place? He knows, he knows, he knows.
I love this guy. He's almost too good. He's almost too good.
He's almost too good. I mean, listen, we love Captain Carrie,
but Lee was a a never ending well of goofs for us. Yes,
you know, Carrie is not that he's almost too good. It's it's
a nice change of pace though. I got I was getting tired of Captain
Lee. Now I get to make fun of him talking about the breakup between
Dart and Pique. It's yeah, yeah, I know he has red with
my sham. Why is he whistling well? And then also it's crazy,
how like how fervent his opinions? Oh yeah, yeah, well thought out
too Like he gets really like he's pissed if Candice is not coming back.
Oh, he was really upset. I mean he's pissed. And he thinks
that Jackson has been treating Brittany. I mean, I was a Brittany.
I wouldn't stand for it, you know, I mean, it's like,
why are you talking about this stuff? I got his rating. So how
many people ask? Okay, so we get to dinner. Yeah, it's
a beautiful dinner. Cured wahoo up first in savich form, up next to
a purple ym mash with a lovely puss on top. And this is when
Paris walks in and demands a drizzle. I mean, this is where you
have to ask is this intentional or is this in need of SSRIs? Now?
I don't want to joke about that, but there seems to be this
powerful thing that Fraser can do. I watched this John Mlaney thing where he
had his hypnotist on Okay, his hypnotist had two sessions with him. He'd
been smoking since he was nineteen years old. In the second session of which
he remembers nothing, something happened and he has never had the urge to smoke
ever again. And the hypnotist said that the way that he works is to
attack and speak to commune with the subconscious mind. Now, in the subconscious
mind is the break, right, So you have to you have to relate
the subconscious mind to the actual danger of it, because your conscious mind is
like, this is gonna kill me, but your subconscious mind is like,
give me another cigarette, right, So what Fraser seems to be able to
do is to plant seeds of control in the subconscious mind of sea rats.
He might be some type of X men, some type of gay x men.
And it wasn't taking on Barbie, which is why he fucking hated or
something. It's actually it's a tactic as old as time. And can I
ask you a question? Was that too long and round about? Absolutely not?
Okay, I will say this. My mom went under a hypnotist to
quit smoke. The problem was her withdrawals because she's so addicted to it.
Yeah, even her subconscious mind couldn't fight off her leg shaking and almost having
a heart attack. Yeah, yeah, just smoke someone. This is nineteen
ninety three. Someone paid her one thousand dollars to stop smoking for a year
and they test her in her workplace once a month. That is an experiment.
Yeah, and she did it for one thousand dollars. After they handed
the check. After yeah, she began smoking right right right. Yeah,
Now, my mother had the same problem, she said. The hypnotists said
that she wasn't a good candidate for this, but yeah, no, smoking
is a bit definitely, don't smoke. Kids, don't even start, don't
even start. Can I just zin? Though I should absolutely zin? Can
I get to Dylan here in his cabin and he has a he's manifest wrapping,
sure right, You manifest things typically you just cut out pictures from a
magazine and you glue them to a little board. Now everybody knows what manifest
wrapping is. Oh they do, yeah, people do it all the fun.
Okay, So we have the transcript of the rap here. He just
slays, yeah, and these things will come to fruition. He says.
My name is Dylan, and I'm a former fatty. When I ate cookies
for dinner, that's when women were caddy. Now I'm a model and a
handsome man. Hopefully that bond blonde will let me plow her. Okay,
yeah, No, I felt it was very rhythmic, and I don't need
you to continue. But the end of the the afformation rap was really cool.
It kind of like tied the entire story together about you know. It
was like it was about how his dick was actually not little, it was
actually quite big. And you know, reality television is devoid of storytelling most
often, and that's what we got from Dylan tonight. I'm actually quite grateful
for it. I'm gonna give it two pots. I feel like I know
him a lot better. Yeah, yeah, all right, So we head
to Sonny calls her friend. She gives her the rundown on Ben's appreciates her
new clarity and their friendship. Sorry to be a dumb old male pig,
but you're lying to yourself. Yeah. Or perhaps this is a newer,
younger, more evolved in woman in today's society. Yeah, Or it's just
Patty being right again. Yeah, listen, who knows who knows? Paris
and Nick feud again. She goes to that can needs a little more gas.
She was correct about that, because you know, the last foam looked
like humors, you know, something that spills out of an old wound.
But Carrie hits the sheets. After a lovely dinner ending with some kind of
brioche, the daughter's head up to hang out with Dynamite Dylan for a little
truth or day alliteration. He gets the he gets there, he chooses Dare
and goes and does a bit of a flash dance dance, throwing water all
over his hot tanned torso and Uh and Sarah and the gals like it.
But he decides to take the professional route and ask for their DM so that
he can text them while they're on the boat next morning. Smart move,
smart move. He's depressed about it, but smart move. Anything else,
Let's see next morning, next week, and Carrie tells Nikki did a great
fucking job, which he did. U. Then next morning Nick shares with
Dylan that Paris is a pain in the ass. Sure Dylan gets in those
dms. We have a breakfast special. I forgot what it was, Yeah,
crapes and wraps. Paris comes once again, micro managing the crepes in
the galley. What what are you doing telling the chef what kind of oil
he should be using to I mean, it's just my wife does this to
me. So we'll be having a bad day. And all couples have a
bad day where you're getting on each other's nerves. Yeah, my way other
than not like me. When I know I'm getting on my wife's nerves,
I'm like, I walk on eggshells, not her double triples down. She's
like, you know what, I'm gonna do the most annoying thing I can
to him right now. And that's what my wife does to make right right
right. She's like Paris. Okay, yeah, I'm right, So Docking,
we get the Transformers fifteen music, you know, like Dark Moon,
Phoenix. Those movies suck And we talked successfully one day. You know,
I used to love them, the Docking or Transformers. No, never the
Docking Transformers. Oh, which one do you like? They're all horrible?
You know, I know the guy that wrote those Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, great story, great story. I love that story
about that guy. He was a drunk. Okay, all right, that's
true. You can't work in this talent. It's true. The guy got
told to shut up. He was the best man at a wedding and he
got drunk in the middle of the dance floor and the the groom's dad told
him to cool it. The guy who wrote Transformers, like God, I
hope there was no agents there. Yeah no, I mean, guy's a
drunk. He's gonna write the next Spider Man. Yeah, I know,
it's crazy. Yeah, a couple of things. I mean, you know,
the industry doesn't romance alcoholism the way that it used to, not at
all. It used to be cool. Yeah, I mean, you know,
I mean think about the publishing industry and old ernest I mean he would
just disappear to Europe and just get catatonically drunk and it was cool. But
no, alcoholism is very serious. And that's all allegend. No, not
at all. It's absolutely one hundred percent true. And I don't care.
I'm never gonna go anywhere in this business. What do I care? Okay?
All right, So we get to the one day charter guests departing,
and we get to the tip twenty five k for one day. You hear
that, Jill Zarmon, you hear that. Yeah, Jill's Aaron. So
that's almost it's nineteen and twenty five bucks each. I round it up a
little bit there, right right now, I just want to give you a
quick hit here. Barbie plans on going shopping, and Barbie lets us know
if her dad ever cuts her off, she can just sell some of those
nice clothes off. As you heard of the top of the show, you
are cut off. Your dad's being cleaned off the side of the sidewalk with
a spacheler. Right now, Barbie, Well, I mean, I don't
want to be crashed, but that's probably the best way for her to never
be cut off, right because if the controlling man still lives, you know,
anything that you can do. He can kind of dangle the carrot in
front of your face and say, don't do that, behave like I want
you to, and you'll keep getting the money. But if he's splattered on
a sidewalk anyways, I don't want to keep going. But no, no,
no, it is a pretty lockdown way to keep that cash flow in.
So Paris heads up to see Carrie, and Carrie roots out what's going
on? Cut and dry, Dylan, it's three stripes. First, one
stripe. Yeah, a Fraser as like a great boss, you know,
like don't go get fired on me, which is like, don't do that
to her. She's about to go talk to Carrie. What the fuck?
But Paris spills the beans which needed to be spilled, says that Nick didn't
want a plate. And what Carrie is doing right now is he okay?
So what happened here is that Fraser planted the seed in the subconscious mind,
right, so he's turned Paris into his pit bull against Nick. Why he
needs to feud with him at all, be it through a proxy or just
himself, I'm not really sure. But Carrie is seeing all of this taking
place. He's probably been watching this kind of bullshit take place for his entire
career as a manager supervisor. Here's a little secret to any of you who
want to get your coworker fired. Go to the supervisor, even if it's
not true. Make some shit up, Plant a seed about that person you
hate, do it two times in a single week, and get someone else
to do it. Plant to the sea. This is horrible, This is
horrible. I don't want you to do this. I'm just saying, well,
it sounds like a bad plan. It sounds like a could backfire very
easy, quite possibly could. You're playing with fire. However, if three
people come or two people come, and it's mentioned three times you plant the
seed in the supervisor, the one time that that person that you're trying to
get fired or fuck with does something, all those things will be accumulated in
that supervisor. Right. You all be cobbled into one thing, and that
person will quite possibly get fired, and or the supervisor could go directly to
the person rat you out, and now you've got a whole kettle of fish
that you've got to deal with. But when you're trying to scale the corporate
ladder in the small claims insurance world. These are the risks you have to
take. And don't make friends with a little guy. No, Bob the
little guy, I changed his name, but he tried getting me fired,
Bob the gay dwarf. That's right, right, yeah, he told my
supervisor. I wasn't doing anything right. You know, you learn your lessons
from the people that hurt you, right, I mean you learn hard lessons
from the people that hurt you. And Bob the gadorf hurt you because you
thought that you were friends. Well, no, he said, Hey,
Patty, I've always found you attracted it. I said, I wouldn't allow
you to have sex with my body, even if I was dead bottom.
He goes to a Tupperware party the next day, tells everybody planting those seeds,
planting those seeds, planting those seeds. Pat doesn't do anything in his
cubicle all day. I get called in the office on Monday. My only
crime I refuse to have sex with a little person when I'm dead. Well,
and also, you did no work. That's true, But but he
didn't. He didn't have to say that. Carrie calls Nick and Fraser before
chat. He said, you know, it's time for these two to come
to terms face to face. This is where I was thinking that Fraser is
in trouble because I don't think Carrie he's really liking the person he sees right
now. I think he's he's kind of seeing that Fraser has been doing some
things that are a little insidious and honestly, like, we love phrase.
I you know, we had a great time talking to him. But you
know, as the seasons go, we can't chalk this up to insecurities or
you know, novelty on the position. Well, I want to say this
about him, and this is not just because I like him a lot.
First season he got walked all over, especially by Captain Sandy for remember she
was there for part right, Yeah, and also by Millie Alicia that's right.
Second season overcomeless seating in a very bad way. I've been there as
a supervisor and a manager. I've done stupid things that I regret. Now
in his third season, I don't think it's any secret he just wrapped filming
there his whatever season it is now. Yeah, so hopefully he fares better.
Can I tell you we have to get to a preference CHET meeting,
and not only am I not going to add the music. I don't even
want to yell it, okay, because we need to talk about the preference
sheet meeting. There was nothing there these preference sheet meetings. What we don't
need is to see high definition shots of people washing forks. Where that money
can be spent, I think is in the preference sheet meeting and production always
incorporates are criticisms and technical complaints with the show. I really do think that
the preference sheet is a canvas that's not being utilized when we hear, you
know, what we're planning on doing. Let's get some some visuals in there
to break this monotony up. Maybe let's next time on with future footage,
you know, maybe let's let's let's do something to make them a little bit
more dynamic. Can I tell you how this would help as well? I'd
like to know a little bit more about the charter guess through the preference sheet
meeting, right as opposed to that poorly printed out photo of them. Why
not do a little like a do a little vignette of like this is who
they are? Yeah, maybe even them like some shots of them at work
or pick whatnot? Yeah yeah, yeah or or yeah. I love that
We could also change the kind of questions, right, We're more going after
a character study here. You know, if you were to kill somebody,
how would you do it? Those kinds of questions. Let's really read off
what kind of psychos we're getting aboard this vessel. I like it. There's
just lots of improvements that can be made. On Saturday, they ran a
Below Deck Marathon and they were playing Kate Chastain's first season, which was the
second season of Below Deck Phenomenal. They still had charter guests, though these
are guests that don't show up anymore. They would come on the boat for
there were very, very successful people. Yeah, and they were crazy.
Like one person has a piece of plastic in their food and they flip the
fuck out and it turns out it was when they opened a plastic water bottle,
a piece of their own water bottle fell into the plate. Chef Ben
comes out and busts their balls a little bit. It's great TV. Oh
man. Yeah, we need to bump up the caliber of charter guests.
You can't know they won't come on the show anymore. That's why you got
to basically make these charters five grand. Yeah, I mean we're going to
get to Flora Bama Shore at some point. I mean, we've got to
go. We've just got to go were there. If we're going to have
low rent people come aboard the vessel, make them make sure they're trash,
I mean, full blow. You don't think we've gotten that this ya,
No, I mean the entertaining kind of trash Okay, nice yell elites is
not, you know, the kind of entertainment we're looking for. But anyways,
so the sea rats have to pick up a twelve tomorrow, so naturally
let's go out and get fucked up. Kyle's in a kilt. The only
thing weirder than Kyle's kilt is Nick in an oxford and a black tie.
Right, I agree with that. Do you remember when Axl Rose used to
wear to dress like a bus boy. It's like it's just you know,
it's your best year of getting getting sex, which for him was two thousand
and one. Yeah, that was maybe a look back then. Yeah,
guys always keep the same style and haircut. That was their best year of
pulling ass of course, so you take that right into your fifties. Yeah.
So, but do you remember when Axl Rose from Guns N' Roses used
to wear kilt on stage. No, I don't really remember anything about Axel
rolls. Yea. Well, you know, somebody said to me the other
night we just saw Slash get in the car. Who cares? I mean,
let's talk about the weather, why don't we? I mean, I
said, was he wearing a top hat? Of course? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, in a in a leather pant, same look for forty days.
He never ages. It's actually diabolic. His pajamas are leather. Okay,
so yeah, they go bowling. Who would have thought Barbie's embarrassed by
Kyle flashing his dick. Yeah, that's only going to go over on like
a very very drunk wine had gargoyle. That will like laugh laugh that up.
No, it's going to like seeing a guy whip out his little Yeah.
I mean, you gotta find somebody super horny. Yeah. I don't
even know if that would turn a little lady on. I I don't know.
It might turn a bargoil out really drunk bargo. Oh my god,
she's playing pool again? Well, anyway back to the boat, yeah,
or does anything happen there? She just gets pissed. Kyle does something smart
here though, he stops showing his dick to everybody, and he just panders,
and then I think she tells him she loves him. Yeah. Really,
she came on here and lied to us on this podcast. But what
I said, did you hook up with him? She said, no,
no she did. We'll have to go back to the tape. I'm not
We're not going to do that. No, No, I have too much
time. I mean I don't have enough time. Yeah, so we're wrapping
the episode here. Up. I can't stop thinking about bargoyles. Bargoyles.
What is? What is a bargo? Bargoyle is a really run down,
broken drunk woman that hangs out at bars and usually he's playing like if they
have a some poker on my anybody, we're equal opportunity offenders. We talked
about sad drunk guys at bars, not in glowing terms at all, but
right now we're talking about a bargoing bargo. And that's a woman who is
blacked out, leaning against a pinball machine and smoking inside. Now she's playing
out poker like those five buttons at the bar. You know, some savvy
entrepreneur put the gambling there, you know, And yeah, and she leans
over and she's like, I figured out how to beat it. Yeah.
Yeah, Well she's looking around the bar with her head on it swivel,
like trying to see if there's any young guys. You know, it might
get so wasted they'll forget they're having sex with a bargo right, right,
right, But bargoils are fucking cool to me. Oh yeah, you can
make some small talk with them. Yeah, absolutely, let them get you
too drunk. No, no, no, I mean listen, everybody needs
love, and quite honestly, you know, I was talking to a friend.
I do. I do a lot of things for a good story.
Yeah, day after just parading around lucid sobered sunlight, for a night with
the bar, after a night with a bargo. Ah. But you're in
her sad little studio apartment, you know, because she got a you know,
she got kicked out of her other apartment. Hey is that cat okay?
Right? And the cat's flat around and listen, listen, Uh,
maybe help her throw it out, maybe maybe throw it out, and then
you know, we'll spray something or light something, and then you know,
let's go to farmer's market, let's go to the park, let's you know,
let's just have a day. The episode's over get in the comments.
Let us know what you thought about it. Five stars, kind words.
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