I'm gonna ask you first, though, Cross Examiner, wrong answers only God
sends natural disasters because he's mad about blank. What do you think God's mad
about? I think God's mad about the advent of smartphones. He doesn't like
the fact that there's cameras everywhere now because he now he can't do miracles,
right, So he's really pissed about that. Yeah. Yeah, he had
a much better time doing that stuff when like people weren't looking. You know,
it's like, yeah, that's that's pretty good. That's plus, you
can do this whole like, you know, when somebody comes up to you
and just makes this really wacky claim or something, you could just like pull
it up real quick and be like, oh my god, here's how Yeah
there's a diagram. What do you know? I could see I could see
why the all knowing, all loving, all powerful creator of the universe would
be upset by that. Yeah. Absolutely absolutely, we said, wrong answers
only God said God sends natural disasters because he's mad about blank. That was
what we asked last week, and we got three different answers. The first
one is God causes natural disasters because he's pissed at firefly only had one season.
You know what, that's that's justifiable, that's reasonable. I'm finally on
God's side. The second answer we got was God sends natural disasters because you
touch yourself at night. Again, truth, we all know what you're doing,
Tom uh. And then fine, can you there's one guy watching his
name Tom who's pooping his pants right now, and maybe he's into that.
We don't think here. And then finally number one is God sends natural disasters
because he went on the Murray Show and found out that he was not the
Father, and that is his way to celebrate loving that. We have a
new question for this week, and I am going to throw this to you
for ust. First, our question is we want you to answer the prompt,
which is name a mistake God made during creation. I mean, we
already covered Andrew Tait, but I feel like we can expand that a little
bit more to just like just humans in general. Right, what are we?
Right? But everything was fine before we came along, and then we
just blew it continuously on everything. Yeah, definitely, definitely us. Last
week we asked you name a mistake God made during creation. We asked you
to put those comments in the comments and we have our top three answers.
Number three, coming from major Us says, mistake avocado pit. You know
it's mostly pit, isn't it? It's largely pit. I would disagree.
I think that avocados are pretty easy to cut, and you get to do
that little Samurai move where you sort of chop the pit and go ah and
then pull it out. So I think that's maybe a plus, but no
offense. Majors going to disagree with you on that one. Number two tool
Ghost says was the hons Kent and Eric specifically, I'm assuming maybe, but
by creating the Hons, he gave us an example of what to do,
what not to be right, a negative role mod in a way. So
God uses flowed people. It's true. They're the heroes that we need,
not the ones that we want. Our number one comment was from x million
says God's mistake was creating foreskins. Evidently, so here's what we've got for
next week. Complete this sentence. The reason Jesus hasn't returned is because he's
been too busy. What what has Jesus been doing to keep that second coming
from happening? Tom My answer was getting ready. Jesus has been too busy
getting ready fixing his hair for like the last two thousand years. Yeah,
we've all been there. Everybody else is ready to get in the car,
right. We asked each of you to complete the sentence. The reason Jesus
hasn't returned is because he's been too busy blank and here are our favorite answers.
Number three was from R. C. Blazer, who said the reason
Jesus hasn't returned is because he's too busy rereading the Bible he forgot how it
ends. Fair hit, fair hit. Number two was from Matthew Thurreau.
Jesus hadn't returned because he's been too busy doing his nails, fair fair worth
investigating, there's a there's something under that one. Yeah, that one.
That's a thinker. It's a real thinker. And number one, our favorite
choice, came from Shelbyville Rules. Jesus hasn't returned because he's afraid of being
double frost very clever, that's yeah. Yeah. Question of the week is
what's a life hack that God doesn't want you to know about? Christy?
Yeah, well, so I don't know who knows this. I don't even
know if you you know this, Johnny but the reality is you are actually
able to have sex without there being like a magical ritual, without there being
all of these like ancient words spoken. You don't even have to have somebody
else there, Like, it's possible to just have sex. You can.
You can just do it. It doesn't require all of this extra hooplaw.
And I think that's a life hack that I really wish that I had known
about, you know, before I got married as a conservative Christian virgin.
Last week, we asked you, what's a life hack that God doesn't want
you to know about? We asked for all the damnosairs for them. We
got so Number three Yahooligan says, life hack. God doesn't want you to
know about sin. All you want, God will forgive you. I kind
of thought that was the one that came to my mind. Yeah, I
knew that immediately. But there's a risk, right because if you accidentally get
hit by a bus before you ask for forgiveness, right then, think you're
sol Number two Coconut Maclaroon life hack. Add baking soda to holy water.
It will clean anything, even criminal records and guilty conscience. Wow, that's
good. I like that. And Number one Sarah Glenn says, life hack.
God doesn't want you to know about closing your eyes and using your imagination
doesn't just work for prayer wink wink like, no idea what that could possibly
mean. Explain after the show, all right after the question is wrong answers
only? Why was Jesus betrayed? Paul? Do you have an answer for
that one right off the top of your head. Hmm, Well, this
will go to people know a little bit about me. They'll roll their eyes
at this answer. But yeah, Jesus was betrayed because Judas. They allowed
Judas to be on the Jedi Council, but they didn't make him a Jedi
master. We asked you the audience, wrong answers only? Why was Jesus
betrayed? And here are our top three answers. Number three, Stephen Veitch
said he didn't pick up the tab for the last supper. That's there are
people like that, and we don't know if Jesus was one of them.
First, try to split thirteen ways even though he had two glasses of wine
and an appetizer. Right, Yeah, Well, at least he could have
done is made his He paid for water right and then made it wine right.
Number two Logan Atchison or Akisan, sorry if I mispronounced that, says
Jesus was betrayed because he was more popular than John Lennon, and I think
at that time, at that time, certainly, yeah, probably true.
Right. Number one is Noda Underscore Republic, who says Jesus was betrayed because
he kept scheduling meetings that could have been an e fing email. Oh gosh,
yeah, I'm not going to say you had a coming, but that's
a fair point. We have a new question this week, and I'm going
to ask you j Mike what that what that question is and give you an
answer. Okay, complete the sentence. It was a real jerk move when
God created you fish ureathra now and deeru fish that's my media. Why don't
you tell the beautiful people at home what that? People can go look for
themselves. I will spare a lot of the details, but it's a fish
that goes in an area that you don't want it to go, and it's
attracted to something that is out of that area, and so if you want
to google it you can. I don't really suggest it, but yeah,
I think God's for creating that. If that's the case. I don't really
see the relevance of that in anyway. It's all part of the plan,
Mike, before I guess I do the top three? Richard, do you
have one? I know I'm probably putting you on the spot, but I'm
curious. Well, from last week, the it's a real jerk move when
God created blank humans because he created human beings and then it decided we weren't
good. It often killed us all apart from a few chosen people. So
you know, why why do that to start with? Why not just why
not just make us better to begin with, so you don't have to wipe
everyone out? Yeah that's but then that would make too much sense, So
yeah, there is. Yeah, Well, so we'll go ahead. We'll
give the top three that we had from last week, starting with I Hope,
And I'm sorry if I don't pronounce the names correctly, I'm pretty terrible.
I'll probably pass them off to any chance I get to Richard so that
he can take care of that. But for now, I'll take the I'll
take the heat, humberto key Roga. Hope. I'm saying that right.
It was a jerk. It was a jerk move when for God to create
Mondays, which yes, I'll be saying that tomorrow when I wake up.
So I feel you Number two is gonna be a seeker of truth. It
was a real jerk move when God created dinosaur fossils and buried them to confuse
us. That would be an extremely jerk move. And then for one we
got Tarren Graybeard. God was a real jerk when he created prostate and said
don't touch that. That's I would put that as my number one as well.
Dave gets to be the first person to answer the prompt for this week.
So here's the question, make a church sign with ed double ntandro.
So, Dave, how would you respond to that? Oh? That's easy.
Are you prepared on the drive down the road? You can see this
on the little first Baptist church in the little small town. Are you prepared
for the Lord Jesus to come quickly? We had a question last week.
We asked make a church sign with a double entendre, and here are our
top three answers. Number three, sky Daddy church sign. The ultimate position
is on your knees. Suggestive, isn't it? Number two and based Ace
says, actual Catholic church sign in my town. But you will receive power
when the Holy Spirit comes on you. Acts one eight. I feel like
that guy from the family feud, you know. And then number one choice
Elena al aidin church sign take hold of the sword of God and he will
fill you to overflowing. We have a new question this week, and Emma,
you get to be the first person to answer the question. So put
on your thinking cap. If you have a cap of that nature, write
a slogan for God. Okay, God is like polyphiller for philosophical conundrum.
You just squeeze it in the gaps, cover everything over. I hope you
have polypiller in the US. We probably call it something else, plaster plaster
polypiller. Wow, I think that might be a brand. I'll take ye.
There's like one person who laughed at that. So last week we asked
you to write a slogan for God. So this is awesome and here are
the top three answers. Coming in number three, we've got mister Yellow with
God's slogan, hate what you create. I like that. It's it's pretty
good. It's straight to the point and it feels really true. Again just
thumbing through this book, and yeah, that that definitely comes out to me.
Number two, we've got Mitch O Mitch God's slogan, let me come
inside you. You know they talk about that a lot, you know,
being being like washed over with the Holy Spirit, you know, just filling
you up, and it's it's yeah, there's some there's definitely, Lord Jesus,
that's right. Finally, Number one from Brian Tamblin, God's slogan.
Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's make believe. I like that.
I like that. What's an inappropriate thing to say it the crucifixion? Well,
you know, I think this actually was said, but somebody must have
said, hey, just hang out here, we'll be back to get you
in a little while. I think I think that, you know, Christianity
adopted that, and Jesus is having his revenge because we've been waiting for quite
a while. It has been a minute. He's a little salty. I
guess what's an inappropriate thing to say at the crucifixion? And so we're going
to give you our top three answers, starting with third, Seeker of Truth
says an inappropriate thing to say it's crucifixion is if you're happy and you know
it, clap your hands. Wow, yeah, that would be very inappropriate.
Tesla Ranger chimes in with an appropriate thing to say about the crucifixion.
Well, you did say that she wanted to be hung like this with arms,
lets stretch. I'm not going to make the move because my arms will
you know, you can't even you will probably even be able to see him.
But she gets the idea, and then Antarco Possum, I hopefully I'm
saying that right says why am I hard seeing this guy getting nailed? Oh
wait, so definitely yeah. I mean the three good choices of in it
for everythings, So I will agree with that. I'm going to ask MD
the first question, and I'm going to ask him right now, what do
you think Jesus's last words really work? I've been thinking about this. I
think probably he was saying, I'll be right back. I'm just going to
get some smokes. I'll be back. Hey. He's got that sort of
like deadbeat dad vibe. You know, last week's prompt was thank you,
Oh sorry, it was what do you think Jesus's last words really were?
Which is a great prompt. We've got some great responsism from that one.
So number three comes from Lou who says Jesus his last words when you remember
me, remember me with some pretty nice abs. And I like that.
I've seen Jesus. That's intimidate. That's a that's a good one. I
like that one a lot, so I would hope I would do the same
thing if I could, you know, give my last words. Number two
comes from x million, who says Christ's last words, Ah, how awkward
being discovered wearing women's undergarments. No, I mean, you know, two
thousand years ago, and you know Jerusalem, maybe there was you know,
probably wasn't as accepted then. Nowadays you can be fine. Number one comes
from mister perfect Cell, who says Jesus' last words, your mom nailed me
harder than this, which is like, it's just like whoa dude to start
albay? Stop questing the bullsh emy around to your buys. The s set
up, y'all, walcome Dom die Ellen, m welthy of y'all. It's
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