WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:08.679 Hey, Hey, I'm back with something for you to think about. Some 2 00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:14.400 of you are so caught up in what you want, in what you desire, 3 00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:21.760 that you really believe your love is enough for both of you. Some 4 00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:28.079 of you really believe that you have enough love for the both of you. 5 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:40.560 You're thinking very, very foolishly, foolishly because your love isn't enough for the 6 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:46.399 both of you. There are people in this world right now as I speak, 7 00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:52.560 who are in unhealthy relationships. You are so focused on what you want. 8 00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:58.719 You're so focused on having that person in your life. You're so focused 9 00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:07.920 on loving that person, and and what you're getting in return is a lot 10 00:01:07.959 --> 00:01:19.079 of headache and heartache. Some of you are so fixated on being in a 11 00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:30.040 relationship. You're so focused on loving that man or loving that woman. But 12 00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:36.439 it's obvious you don't even love yourself. I don't even know you, but 13 00:01:36.519 --> 00:01:40.159 I know it's true, because if it was not, you will not be 14 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:46.159 where you are, going through the things you're going through. Some of you 15 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:55.680 are absolutely miserable. All you do is complain, cry, moan, grown, 16 00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:01.560 but you try to stay where you are because you want to be with 17 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:08.639 that person. You want to love that person so much your love is not 18 00:02:10.599 --> 00:02:16.719 and never will be enough for the both of you. That's why many people 19 00:02:16.759 --> 00:02:23.680 suffer in their relationships, because you're trying so desperately to love that you're only 20 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:36.919 receiving one sided. What you're getting in return is one sided, but you 21 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:42.800 can't see that because you want what you want so bad. You know that 22 00:02:42.840 --> 00:02:50.000 you're unhappy, you know that you're full of pain dealing with all of the 23 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:54.120 drama in your relationship, just constant drama. You know you don't want it 24 00:02:54.159 --> 00:03:00.560 that way, but you think if you just keep loving him, just keep 25 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:06.639 loving her, that it will be enough for the both of you. You 26 00:03:06.759 --> 00:03:13.599 just keep hoping and praying that you can love that person so much that they'll 27 00:03:13.719 --> 00:03:20.639 change, only to find that you've changed, but not in a positive way. 28 00:03:21.080 --> 00:03:28.599 Most people find themselves in negative states, even deeper, much deeper than 29 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:35.919 before, because you've allowed the negativity, the constant drama, the constant chaos, 30 00:03:35.919 --> 00:03:43.039 to change you into a person you don't even want to be. But 31 00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:46.360 this is what a lot of people are contending with because they want to be 32 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:53.080 in a relationship so bad, they're hoping and praying that their love is enough. 33 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:58.479 Well, I'm here to tell you is not, and more than likely 34 00:03:58.599 --> 00:04:08.000 will never be. Because what people do without understanding or even realizing, is 35 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:15.520 that they're teaching that person how he or she can treat them. When you 36 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:19.199 think your love is enough for the both of you, that means you're willing 37 00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:25.800 to take, take, take, You're willing to allow and accept things that 38 00:04:25.839 --> 00:04:29.199 you know you don't want in your life. I've talked about it plenty of 39 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:36.399 times. You open yourself up to things you know you don't want because you're 40 00:04:36.399 --> 00:04:47.720 trying to hold on to who you're with so desperately, so desperately, But 41 00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:55.879 you find yourself like in a pit, a pit of pain, unhappy. 42 00:04:56.160 --> 00:05:01.720 Some of you cry your eyes out because you want that person so bad, 43 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:08.360 But you have to get past that. You have to love yourself enough to 44 00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:12.360 get past it, because, let me tell you, as long as you 45 00:05:12.519 --> 00:05:18.439 act the way you're acting over your significant other, they are empowered by you. 46 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:24.319 They are empowered to treat you however they want to treat you, and 47 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:30.879 they will they will. Some of you have opened yourself up to being controlled, 48 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:43.000 being used as pawns, tokens, obsessed over your possessions, because you've 49 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:49.199 allowed yourself to be a possession and that's how they'll treat you like a possession. 50 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:58.160 You think if you just do all of these things that they will love 51 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:01.519 you more, they will want to be with you more, they will feel 52 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:08.519 about you the way you feel about them. But that doesn't work. It 53 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:15.040 doesn't work. Nine percent of a time. You're gonna find yourself in a 54 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:21.319 deeper, darker pit, hurting. But I want you to really listen to 55 00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:29.000 this is self inflicted. I don't care what he does or what she does. 56 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:34.680 What you endure is self inflicted. And the reason is self inflicted because 57 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:41.720 you have allowed it. You have opened yourself up to it. As long 58 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:47.720 as you open yourself up to things, that's what you're gonna get. People 59 00:06:47.800 --> 00:06:59.120 do not change who they are until they choose to. Sometimes they never do 60 00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:05.720 because they are not into you the way you are into them. It's always 61 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:17.480 something else that keeps them there. Always. Oftentimes people are so caught up 62 00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:28.519 in their emotions and their feelings that they just cannot see reality right in their 63 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:33.959 face. And because of it, sometimes people go through so much unnecessary drama. 64 00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:46.800 Sometimes good comes out of it, but most times it don't. Most 65 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:54.199 times it absolutely does not. And I will tell you that with certainty that 66 00:07:55.480 --> 00:08:01.279 when you're dealing with stress and drama and chaos all of the time, it 67 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:07.639 affects you mind, body, and soul. Many people have signed up for 68 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:18.040 this type of lifestyle, affected mind, body, and soul. No one 69 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:24.680 is that important, shouldn't be that important. But so many people make their 70 00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:31.440 significant others their everything. And that's a mistake. No one should be your 71 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:39.279 everything, no significant other, no child, no parent, no one, 72 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:43.960 because you get too caught up in emotions. You get too caught up in 73 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:52.679 feelings. And when you're like that, you're so vulnerable and you allow yourself 74 00:08:52.799 --> 00:09:03.279 to be in a place mentally where you open yourself up to a lot of 75 00:09:03.320 --> 00:09:09.639 hurting pain. When you make someone your everything, you feel like you can't 76 00:09:09.639 --> 00:09:13.320 breathe without them, You feel like your life is nothing without them. You 77 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:20.919 are making a mistake. And I will stand on that the more power you 78 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:24.480 give to a person, the more they can hurt you, and more than 79 00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:30.279 likely will because the one who hurts you the most is the one you love. 80 00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:41.480 They throw the biggest stones, They throw the biggest stones. And it's 81 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:48.960 why I'm constantly telling you, know your self, love your self. When 82 00:09:48.960 --> 00:10:01.279 you do, everything changes, Everything changes. Sometimes people are so focus on 83 00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:16.440 the emotions that it affects their ability to really think things through. It affects 84 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:28.240 their ability of being aware and mindful, it affects their ability to think properly 85 00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:33.799 because you're caught up. You're caught up in all of the emotions and feelings, 86 00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:41.720 and people make bad decisions during those times when they shouldn't be making decisions 87 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:50.200 at all. And I've told you many times, it does not matter how 88 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:56.919 much you love him or hurt. It don't matter. It don't matter if 89 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:07.039 they don't love you back, it doesn't matter. I'm not saying love you 90 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:13.600 the same because people are different. But they should love you. They should 91 00:11:13.639 --> 00:11:18.120 be in love with you, with you just like you're in love with them. 92 00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:24.879 But most relationships are not that way. And what's so crazy is people 93 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:31.200 settle. They would rather settle for one side of love than no love at 94 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:37.399 all, when it's not even love. But people think they're in love. 95 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:48.720 They think it's a healthy relationship when it's not. A relationship is not healthy. 96 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:52.799 If all you're doing is arguing, bickering and fighting, that's not healthy. 97 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:58.120 That's not healthy. I don't care what no one says. That's not 98 00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:05.559 healthy for you. Mentally or physically or emotionally. It's not healthy. But 99 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:11.879 this is what people settle for, day in day out, day in day 100 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:16.360 out, just arguing. Some of you don't even want to go home. 101 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.679 You'll rather stay at work, you will rather go anywhere else but home. 102 00:12:20.840 --> 00:12:33.320 That's sad, and this shouldn't be the case in no relationship, not one. 103 00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:39.919 That's why I'm telling you your love is not enough for the both of 104 00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:43.759 you. You may feel that way, but it is not true. It 105 00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:50.320 is not so. You can feel that way all day long, it is 106 00:12:50.639 --> 00:13:00.120 not so. It takes two people for a relationship to work too. I 107 00:13:00.159 --> 00:13:03.360 don't care how much you love him or her, it takes two people for 108 00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:13.080 the relationship to work. Too. Many relationships are running on one person trying 109 00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:16.279 to do it all. That's why people are so burned out. Some people 110 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:22.440 are so burnout in their relationships they would rather die, They would rather commit 111 00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:28.480 suicide to get out. No, no one is worth that. But when 112 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:33.559 you allow people to do whatever they want in your life, when you empower 113 00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:43.159 them, that means you lose power. That means you lose control when you 114 00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:54.559 give it all to someone else. I don't quite get why people think it's 115 00:13:54.639 --> 00:14:05.159 okay to allow the person that they love to treat them badly. But this 116 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:11.799 is what a lot of people are settling for. They'll get better. They'll 117 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:16.720 get better if I keep loving him, he'll stop what he's doing. If 118 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:20.519 I keep loving her, she'll love me back. She'll love me just as 119 00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:30.919 much as I love her. Wasting time and energy most times because it's not 120 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:37.159 going to happen, because what you do is you empower that person to be 121 00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:43.080 even worse because they know they got you, they know you're vulnerable, they 122 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:46.759 know they can do whatever they want to you. So you make the situation 123 00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:54.039 worse for yourself and thinking that you're doing the right thing by allowing them to 124 00:14:54.080 --> 00:15:01.840 do whatever they want, allowing them to control you. So they are not 125 00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:11.679 changing. Why would they They're getting everything they want from a relationship, so 126 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:16.879 why would they change. Most people going to a relationship with no boundaries, 127 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:24.960 no requirements, nothing, having discussed the important things, having developed a foundation, 128 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:39.000 just solely moving based on feelings and emotions, wants and desires most people, 129 00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:45.120 and that is why most relationships are one sided. It is why a 130 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:50.759 lot of people are in relationships, but they're still separate, still separate, 131 00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:04.639 you will never ever get to that place where you want to be sitting back 132 00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:14.440 and waiting on your significant other to come to their senses to realize how much 133 00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:22.360 you love them, because they may never do that. That's why the Bible 134 00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:34.240 talks about being unequally yoked. Gotta be evenly yoked. I'm not saying you 135 00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:45.679 like everything he like, she like everything you like. I'm not saying you 136 00:16:45.960 --> 00:16:49.039 want all of the exact same things you desire all of this. No, 137 00:16:49.120 --> 00:16:55.720 I'm not saying that. But you should be able to come together. You 138 00:16:55.799 --> 00:17:00.159 should be on the same waveblength. But so many people or not. Because 139 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:06.160 people get into relationships the wrong way, for the wrong reasons, with the 140 00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:17.759 wrong people. Then it's just a disaster, constant drama, and people only 141 00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:23.519 do to you what you allow them to do. Another situation people run into 142 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:30.480 is you've allowed a person to do whatever they want to you for so long, 143 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:36.400 and then finally you get some sense and you realize you deserve better, 144 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:41.680 You begin to love yourself and understand your worth, and you make a change 145 00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:49.559 in your life. They can't handle it because you basically have spoiled them by 146 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:57.000 giving them everything, by allowing them to treat you like boo boo under the 147 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:07.319 shoot, and when you change, it upsets them because they expect for you 148 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:15.079 to be the way you've always been. That's why I don't care who he 149 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:22.359 is, who she is, how they look, how whatever, nothing they 150 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:33.160 have, their money, None of it matters. Because you should never go 151 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:38.559 into a relationship looking at those things, allowing those things to be your reason 152 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:51.880 for being in a relationship. Never, never, never. But so many 153 00:18:51.920 --> 00:19:00.359 people do, and then they find themselves in bad situations, unhappy relationships, 154 00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:11.079 feeling very alone. But it's because that's what you open yourself up to, 155 00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:18.559 and you're gonna be treated exactly how you have allowed yourself to be treated. 156 00:19:22.119 --> 00:19:29.119 So I will say again, your love is definitely not enough for the both 157 00:19:29.119 --> 00:19:32.920 of you. That's all I'm saying. I'm leaving it right there. Thank 158 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:37.759 you for listening. Much love. I appreciate all of you. Please check 159 00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:45.480 out Relatable Life Chronicles and share share this episode of Relationship Chronicles in every episode 160 00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:51.359 the same and I hope you do it, think on it.