Listener, beware because you're in for a scared and overly runny because in time
it's about to get weird. Be prepared for it to get weird. Thinks
you're gonna get weird. It's getting weird. I'm going to get real weird
with it. Let's get it weird. Let's get it where? Where?
Get? Where? Are you ready to get weird with Hoodie and Eric?
I'm ready to listen already because you listen to the one hundred and eighty seventh
episode of Let's Get Weird. Delayed there a little bit late. Sorry,
I don't know what came in early finished late. Take that as you came
in earlier. I thought I overstepped it. Is that Eric, You're supposed
to talk at this part, not the other part yet. Eric, you
forgot. You've done this one hundred and eighty six times. You forget this
Tuesday, I got a busy day. Oh okay, my name is Week,
my name is Eric. Everybody, come together, give you the weird
stories from our lives, the streets, the sheets, the internet, stuff
above, the down below, upside down universes, and you in and outs
of those as well, and just have a good time. Eric's busy today
because he's got to pick up his son because he's in between summer camps and
he's got a week off this week, and so on needs a haircuts.
He's got time that out too at the same time. So you're just gonna
sit Max in the little chair while you get a haircut or how that's going
work? Yeah? Why not? He likes. Give him a Fortnite I
Pass. He's got the switch. You know, you don't even need the
switch anymore because you can play Oh actually no, never mind Xbox put.
You can play game Pass on an Amazon firestick. Now Fortnite Fortnite not on
It's nevermind. I lie, but you could distract them with games. But
can I just have him download Fortnite app on the Amazon tablet that he has.
I don't know it's Fortnite playable on the Amazon tablet. I think it
is. I think it's not playable on Apple products right still. But we're
getting there, baby press. They made this year right, come back down,
We're gonn come back right to the store because I remember three sixteen seventeen,
whenever we went that was the big thing, Like it's on iOS and
we downloaded it while we were waiting line. Wow, that's crazy. Quick
fun fact before we start this spooky show Yoder. I was talking to Yoda.
She google searched herself and the first thing that pops up is her appearance
on this episode. Really yeah, when she googled herself, put Yoda just
her first, first and last name, and apparently it pops up as her
being on here. That's a scientist. We got that. Yeah, But
like she said, it just showed. Upon seeing it. She just told
me, buddy, I don't know, man, all right, maybe if
you do that by heart. Okay, well, still don't pop up all
right there? Right there? What are you getting married? That's getting weird
titles in it? Yeah, there you go, buddy, But you know
it's a fun google search. Actually tested I tested this on Crisis on podcast.
You google hot D, what pops up? Okay? So Maura was
like, you guys need to stop saying hot D when we say House of
the Dragon, but it's fun to say it. So she's like, if
you googled hot D right now, you'd probably get some penis. Right,
googled it. Let me see what happened to hot D House of the Dragon?
Dragon? What pops up House of the Dragon again, No penis for
me, the baby students. You got to separate the hot hot D.
House of the Dragons still there, man. Wow. So I like to
say I proved a point that's hot D is here to stay. Okay,
everybody likes no one's this hot D dude. I say hot D. Google
just proved hot D's in there. No, I mean, like in a
sexual in asexual term, I would say, give you that hot baby.
I don't know, all right, maybe your ladies of the night saying give
me that hot D. Like we already watched House of the Dragon. What
are you talking about? It's not never, but this is sort of I'm
not really a leftover idea from last week, but there was an idea the
lead us on a choose your own adventure from two weeks ago. I decided
to find a goosebump scary, your scarey, your own adventure, choose your
scare because those are iconic of do you die or you live? Through the
whole book, which I've never read it, and so I have found ourselves
give yourself Goosebumps by r al Stein Zombie School. So we're gonna go through
and Eric's gonna make the decisions on where we go next. I'll be your
narrator and Eric will be the chooser of the things. All right's junk here,
reader, be aware, do not read this book from beginning to end.
You got to read it from the thing. All right. Here you
go, turn page one. All right, that's not page one. All
right, accept it, the letter says. You still can't believe it.
You've read the letter one hundred times. But now you're on a bus heading
towards rain washboarding school. Yes it's you got in with a full scholarship.
Look at you, full scollie. Not in real life at all. But
it's okay. Some of the most famous people in the country going to this
school. You wonder who you'll be sitting next to in class. The kids
of movie stars, sports heroes, maybe the direct nuts. You fold the
acceptance letter, glance around the bus. Most of the other kids seem as
jittery as you are. They got famous parents, but everyone nervous. On
the first day of school. You glance your watch. You should be almost
there now. You watch a dense forest go buy all the forest, the
thick trees lock out the sun. Yikes, what was that? It looked
like something big moving through the trees. You squint, pressing your face close
to the glass. Whoa, there it is again. Leap to page two.
Eric, that was paid one big right in the corner. Yeah,
I got got gotta. Let's all right. Oh we're going for a little
bit here on page three before a huge black dog stares out at you from
the trees. It's red eyes lock on yours. You glance around the bus.
No one else has noticed the creature. Creature, but that's the freakiest
dog you've ever seen, you think. The bus moves through a gating up
a whining dry whoa rainwash is big and gray with towers and spires made of
stone. Looks like an old castle or brain. So I would say you
all pile off the bus. After a quick visit to your new quarter,
says a guy. Do you have have got to get to homeroom? You
hand over your heavy suitcase and follow him, kind of like Hogwarts. Wow
you shot, you shout when you get to your room. What a setup?
You have your own computer, stereo and a TV. Whoa, Eric
living it up in the nineties. Seriously, home rooms just down the hall,
THEO guy tells you as he leaves, don't be late and don't get
caught in the holes there and glasses, no problem, you're seck to be
here. Huh, what's that? Something happened? Some fell out of your
back, back back. Rainwash boarding school is brainwashboarding school. The paper reads,
hmmm ha, You snort, that's a good one. But how did
it get there? You head toward home room. The classroom is in farce.
You soon settle into your desk. You glance at your tea. He's
totally weird looking. She has a pitched face and long red fingernails, and
he chine. She's wearing a monocle. I'm missicians. Welcome to Rainwash,
place where rules are very important. If you dislay the rules, you get
demeritst Any student who reaches twenty five demerits will wind up in the detention.
What happens in detention? You wonder, as if she can read her mind,
She says, in the detention wing, we make these samples out of
bad students. Miss Sammons points at the door. It opens and you all
gasp. Open to page four. Oo, all right, we're getting closed
page fives where the action happens. So staying doorway is a student about your
age, but he looks weird. His skin's bluish green, his eyes are
in focus, and he's staring something millions of miles away, his arms hanging
out, slacking his sides. What's wrong with him? He shuffles, he
mumbles it's good to obey the rules. His ragged voice makes your skin crawl.
He looks like a zombie. Well, class, does anyone want to
break the rules? Now? After? You're looking at a child? A
cute kids? If you put miss sims monocle in one eye, yikes,
you see through it stops you cold. Because their monocle fell and you saw
it. The classroom looked completely different. The chalkboards that were empty a second
ago are now covered with the words obey without question and work, don't play
according to the monocle. Your eyes fall on an open book on your teacher's
desk. Through one eye seems normal, but through the monocle it says,
never question authority. You glance at the other sheet, and some are smiling,
but some of them look different through the monocle. Their eyes are glassy,
their scin greenish blue and like, and all of a sudden you realize
everyone's uniforms have big red numbers on their clothes, like on prison uniforms.
You realize what exactly is going on this place? Who knows? Then you
see missus Simms coming back to get her monocle. You have to get back
to your seat. If you keep the monocle, you can use it to
find out what's going on. What if you get caught with it? Maybe
you should put it back now, Eric, keep it on? Keep it
or put it back? Uh? Keep it on? All right? So
I have to go to page fifty eight. So this is gonna be lovely.
Oh, that was actually pretty fifty eight. You decide to keep the
monocle. There's more going on that meets the eye, and the monocle might
be the only way to find out what it is. You slip it into
your pocket sprint it to your desk. Miss sims Inner is the classroom.
Just as you get your seat. She explains that all classes will head to
the assembly hall, but first she'll call a role. She seems puzzled looking
for something. Did anyone see my monocle? You sure hope no one tells
on you. But as you watch in horror, a dozen students raise your
hand, and you realize they're the ones who looked like zombies through the monocle.
Gulp, you're in trouble. Turn to page four, you too rude,
Turn You're screwed. Port forty two Bill Eh Miss Simms points at a
zombie student who took my ring. The bell sounds, Oh dear, didn't
even have time to call roll. Now you must all go to the assembly
hall. Saved by the bell, some would say, the students head for
the door. You jumped in the middle of the crowd. Uh so,
no one even knows was your name because role was never called. You're safe
for now. You head for the assembly hall. Crowd of students surge every
classroom. It seems like everything's normal in school. You think murals along the
halls, drinking fountains, rows of lockers. Maybe the stress of being a
new schools getting you. You reckon. Maybe just imagine what you saw through
the monocle. You slip out the monocle and put it on your eye.
Turn to page one oh seven to what you find? Do we find find
heaven? You're right, the stress of being in new school is getting to
you because the school is whacked out. Duh. Through the monocle's lens.
You can see that murals on either side of the hallway saying never think for
yourself. Work is better than play, and never beat in the hall without
a pass. Just like in the classroom. A lot of the students also
have bluish green skin and glassy eyes, and numbers on the clothes that are
invisible without the monocle. The monocle, well, you think they talk.
All the students are talking, just like the slogans obey you, my authority.
Work is much better. You feel a hand on your shoulder, A
gulp. What's that you've got there? A voice scats find out who it
is. On page sixty, Eric, I haven't really chosen. One thing
was with the monocle, and that was it. Yeah, all right,
we turn around. Voice belongs to a student. His skin is normal colored
according to the monocle, not blue. This makes you feel better, you
say to the student. Nothing's going on, just this thing I found on
the floor, the monocle. The students shrugs and turns away. You peer
around the assembly hall and see a big sign that says class selection. There's
signs up and down the tables along the walls. Someone hands you a class
selection for him. Time to pack your classes. You have to write down
the classes. It's art, computing, English, gym, history of science.
When you finish class selection the bell rings. Go to page one thirty
five. I'll tell you eric one five is the last page in this book?
Or is it? Because you look up your brand new schedule. Time
to go to class. Several teachers instruct the students. Fine, you think
maybe there you can find out more about what's going on. Now turn to
the page that corresponds to the room of your first class. Do you go
to art or do you go somewhere else? We're gonna go to art because
I don't remember anyone with number Yeah should have kept her finger on that page.
That's all right, Page one O three. This is a lot longer
than I thought it was gonna be. You're gonna die really quick. Now
get die. You're keeping me alive. You're glad. It's time for art.
Room one O three has got a long table. The teacher has paint
smeared smocking glasses, passes around paints. She orders you to fill in all
the canvases. You look at all the shapes drawn on canvas. Is hmmm,
well of those paintings looks fun like it's one of the murals, the
kind with the secret messages you put on your monocle. There aren't any hidden
messages on the mural. Yet you turn to see an open can of paint.
It's bright red, so bright that staring at it makes you dizzy.
They moved the monocle, and staring in the can again, without the monocle,
the paint looks perfectly clear. The paint. Now you feel like you
have to. You find yourself drawn to page twenty three for some reason.
I don't know. That wasn't a good transition, but we're gonna do that
all right. Page twenty three. You wait until the teacher isn't looking.
You reach over and dip a brush in the red paint. Try if you
dap to the mural. They're invisible until you peer at them through the monocle.
It looks like your idea could work. What if you're paying your own
slogan onto the mural. You can write whatever you want, But like the
other messages, maybe it would change the way people around here think. You
can write let us go home or play is fun. You gotta do something
to help the students out that look like zombies. Of course, if a
teacher sees what you wrote, they might know if someone's up to something.
You don't know what to do. Should you risk painting your own invisible slogan?
Or forget the idea and go to page one thirty? He said,
now I'm going to cooperate it. We're good. One thirty. You decide
to give up the idea. You don't want to get caught messing around at
the school. Who knows what they do to you. If you get caught,
they beat you to be another less obvious way out of here's our ends.
The bell rings are off to the next class. At least nothing bad
happened in art class. But as you pass the teacher on the way out,
she says, come here for a moment, find out what happens on
page sixty eight. All right, sixty eight to sixty No, we didn't.
We're on sixty eight new now man the beauty of chooser own scare.
I can't even using unassigned colors. The teacher says, you go because she
knows you used the invisible paint. It was an accident. You weren't supposed
touch any other colors, and the ones in the mirror. I'm afraid I
have to give you fifteen demerits fifteen. Oh, if you get twenty five,
it's off to detention. Fifteen's more than halfway there. In case you
couldn't count Eric, she takes your class schedule, puts fifteen demerits on it.
The question is, did you already have some other demerits toll up your
merits? If they add up to twenty five, go to detention. Well
they didn't yet, We're good. If they add up to less than twenty
five, you can go to page sixty to find out your next class.
Go to sixties sixty. All right, this is taking a long a lot
longer than I thought it was going to You know what we're going? All
right, so you wanna go to a computer, English, Gym, History,
or science science Sciences room sixty four. Right, you head over to
science class. You take a seat, looking at the lab table in front
of you. Some nasty instruments scalpel, sizzles, sizzles, scissors, and
these look like they belong in the dentist's office. What do you need these
for? According to the teacher, today we're gonna learn about bugs, not
the creepy carly kid, but the electronic kind of amit a homing signal?
Away? She pokes up other devices about the size of remote control. She
flicks it on and begains the beep. You'd be impressed if you weren't sure
there was something trains going on here. Of course, these bugs are also
good for keeping track of people. You can't believe your eyes. The teacher
pulls out a human arm out of the desk. Nice go to page ninety
one. A right, I want that human arm, page ninety one.
I'm turned to stare at this human arm. You realize it's not real.
It is a plastic bottle. Sub bugs are so small you can put them
anywhere, even under your skin. Why would you want to do that?
You say? Here at Rainwash, we like to keep track of our students,
So today we'll show you how to put a bug in a human um.
She appeers around the room. Any volunteers want to put the bug in
their arm? You think? Is she kidding? No? One makes it
sound well, I'll just have to pick someone. How about you? You
open your eyes. Oh no, she's pointing at you. See if you
make the cut On page forty eight, forty eight. Eric was attracted.
Now he's invested again in eighty eight. Forty eight, forty eight up here,
okay, I got to click around there we go. Okay, forty
seven, go next forty eight. I you stammer, You'll do nicely,
the teacher interrupts, Come here right now. You look frantically. Is there
way to get you out of here? The only doors right next to the
teacher's desk, and shuffle nervously to the front of the class. The tea
says, first, a little rubbing alcohol anesthetic on your arm. Whatever was
in the anesthetic feels cold. Her numbness creeps into your skin. Yikes,
you gotta do something now you'll be stuck with a bug in your arm.
The you are freaky teachers, They'll always know where you are. She didn't
make a break for the door, or you could accidentally break the bug and
ruin the experiment. Eric, would you like to break the bug? Page
forty four? Am I keeping this thing longer? What? I don't know?
What it's that longer? I don't know. You don't know. I
smashed the bug. You decide anything to spoil this experiment? The teacher pauses,
be very careful with The bug has a very nasty anti tampering system.
Oops, you cry as your mind shots. Yes, the little vice crumbles
in your fingers. Weird. The teacher doesn't seem upset at all. She
take a step back. It looks so that if we're going to have a
different sort of demonstration. As I was saying, these bugs don't like it
when you try to tamper with them. She points to the scalpel at your
hand. The squin between your fingers feel real tingly. You try to drop
the remains of the bug, but you can't pay. You can't move your
hand. Find out what's bugging you? On page fifty, what's happening?
All we got to the end, you shout. Rap. Black tendrils that
look like worms sprout out from your finger. As they crawl up your arm
and squeeze. Ow, you howl in pain. Isn't today's technology wonderful?
Class? The teacher explains. The bug senses that it was so damaged,
so make sure its hosts cannot escape. Let's watch what happens. The worm
like tendrils reach your shoulder and start to wrap themselves around your neck. The
got I'm with your other hand but their grip tins with crushing force. You
can't breathe. Your vision starts to dim. Oh, you can still hear
teacher's voice, you might say. She jokes that these bugs bite back.
You try to speak when all that comes out of a strangle croak. Wow,
science class always bugs you. But this is ridiculous, and well you
did because you chose your own adventure. This is a real stuff you kids
would read back there. Yeah, yeah, really yeah, fun fact.
This is like one of the first few years I went to the Outer Banks
with Moore's family. It is one of her younger siblings were in middle school.
Still, we found a goosebumps choose her on adventure in like the rental
place, and I read it to everyone late at night. It was fun
time. It was bonding. That's why I wasn't fired to do it.
So now we're bonded closer. We've been bonded closer for a very long It
is what it is, baby, but gees. That was our episode for
today because Eric Alas has to go pick up his sons. There'll be no
missed the connections today. But reader, beware, you're always in for a
scare. You can follow Eric mister eric V. That's m R E R
I c k V. Follow me at andrew Hoodie with the Y and I
always remember it's okay to be weird and sexy. It got weird, didn't
it. Yeah,