Hey, how are you, Hey, neighbor, what's going on over there?
What's over the fence? Well, you got cooking on that barbecue gril.
I hope you don't mind as snooping. We don't mean nothing by it.
They're just family, just your neighborly blurry photos looking at ship, looking
at you, wondering what's going on under that barbecue dome. Things just got
really weird, and they're gonna get weirder because this is blurry photos. David,
Welcome, Welcome, welcome, welcome, whoad tap dancing, tap dancing?
What's a what's a barbecue dome? Well? I don't know. I
was just supporting you as best I can. I was thinking of like the
lid that comes down on the on the grill. Yeah, well the webber
grills a dome. Yeah, yeah, I should have said webber grill.
Well, it's too late. There's nothing you can do about it. I
can't take anything back. Nope, it's on on the record, you guys.
You're in for a good show today. Oh man, we gotta gotta
cryptid for you. That's right, an unknown animal that you may never have
heard of. If you are from the United States or anywhere that's not Australia.
That's right, called the bun yep, that's right, the bun Yep.
This is a real thing, well I mean real asterisk. Maybe maybe
may not, I don't know, but it's a thing. It's not real
at all. Yeah it is. It is an actual subject of conversation in
Australia. Yeah, how about that? An actual hidden creature yep, an
unknown organic entity potentially inhabiting swamps or, as they call them in Australia,
billongs, which are seasonal lakes that are formed from oxbows and rivers. Huh
oh whoa hey, hello, dropped that. You dropped some geography on go
man? Do you wanna? Do you want to open up the can of
worms on this? I will, I will and this this this episode has
its roots in the early eighties. I picked this subject because when I was
growing up, Um there was a cartoon on HBO that was just like a
movie called Dot in the Kangaroo and it was like this weird um live action
animation combination for the nation Cessation Transformation Transformation, starring bum and at one point.
So it's about this little girl who gets lost and she's living in the
outback where her parents look for her. Ostensibly, yep Dot gets lost in
the woods and she makes friends with a kangaroo and she meets all these other
animals and so the foregrounds, like all the players in this cartoon movie were
animated, but the backgrounds are all live action. So it's kind of like
Roger Rabbit, yeah, kind of. Um. And at one point there's
this part where she has to like sleep, and it's this whole sequence about
the bunyip and it's spelled b when yip. Um. Go ahead and YouTube
bunyip and you'll see the video. It'll pop right up there for you.
And this sequence sodomized my brain. It scared me so much as a child
that I lost my mind about it. I couldn't. I mean, and
watch it. It's creepy as all hell. Yeah, it's creepy. The
song. Yeah, there's like some some really malevolent piano and it's just in
strings that are yeah, yeah, not common, not your common boeing.
Yeah. They were really really coming after the kid's brains on this one.
And um, and it's always stuck in my head. Now. The cartoon
want to have the bunyip be some weird shape shifting beast that that has just
lived. You know. It's like the monster of the the outpack. Yeah,
it's kind of like Boogeyman kind of thing. Yeah, And I didn't
learn until years and years and years later. But there there is a very
real history of the bunyip in Australia. It is it's an Australian cryptid that
may or may not exist. Yeah, it's it's legendary and it's of Aboriginal
mythology. The word bunyip itself is it comes from the Wemba Wemba tribe of
the Australian Aboriginals, and it's there's not only a lot of lore within the
Aboriginal community about it. There are cave paintings, um, and there are
amazing and we'll get to them in just a little bit, but amazing reports
about how these things are described as Europeans started coming to Australia unload boatloads of
rapists and thieves. Right. The bunyip itself is said to be fiercely antagonistic
to humans, defending its territory by causing nocturnal terror and eating people or animals
in its vicinity. As we said, it resides in rivers, swamps,
lakes, billabongs h and we keep saying it, but there could be it
could be bun yips. Yeah, it's not just like the moth man.
It's it could be like bunyip as as we say bunyip, as as we
would say the dog, right exactly, because this this could be a very
real animal. Yeah, let's talk about the appearance of this thing. Man.
Yeah, okay, it's all over the place. Yeah, the descriptions
of this are are everywhere. It's it's it runs the gamut from from mundane
and like, oh yeah, that could be scary, I guess too,
Like this is a monster that is created for the rending of flesh. Yeah,
the blood of the unbelievers flies out of its eyes all the time.
The general description of this thing is that it's large, it's four legged,
but two of its legs have flippers for feet. It's walrus tusked or has
some kind of maybe boor like tusks coming out of its mouth, and it's
also got a horse like tail. Now, that's that's the general kind of
all encompassing description. A lot of those run through a lot of the descriptions
that people have of it. Yeah, but there are different different types of
descriptions to hitting on who you asked. In the nineteenth century, a lot
of people described it as having a dog like face, dark fur, sometimes
even grayish feathers, and a duck like bill. Yeah, you know,
and you know that's in Australia. Anything can have a duck bill, that's
true, you just never know. The settlers that were coming in described it
as as being about the size of a six month calf. Some of them
described it as having a long pointed head and a long neck and maybe even
a shaggy mane. Yeah, that sounds almost horse like. They're also there's
a lot of discussion about the teeth and the layout of the teeth, and
there's there seems to be the consistency is that they are unusual, that it
is not a typical all the teeth fitting in the mouth scenario. Some are
sticking out right, and in some cases they're considered to be like almost like
sticking out laterally, like the sides of like a saw tooth or something like
that. One of the descriptions that I was reading kind of files a little
bit under platypus times. It has characteristics of both a bird and an alligator.
The head resembling something close to like maybe an emu ye with these these
weird side tusks, these side teeth hanging out, and then the rest of
the body and legs being more like an alligator. You even you even get
some descriptions of it being kind of hippo or walrus, like uh yeah,
having scales like an alligator or a snake, having a long beak. I
mean, this thing is is just a kajibba jaw of all kinds of Oh,
it really is, which, by the way, I think is actually
a part of Australia. Kajib a job it sounds like an Australian words in
Queensland. Um. Now. The one of the interesting things is that this
is something that the Aborigines of Australia would try to explain to the Englishes that
came over yea and in almost frustrated terms like we don't know how you're not
seeing these things? Yeah, and whether that was said to scare them.
One of the accounts they actually was an interview by one of the local gentlemen,
and not only he said, well, of course there's bunyips bunyip killed
my mom. Look at these scars on my chest. A bunyip almost killed
me. Yeah, how have you not seen this thing? Right? Like
whether it maybe that was an attempt to frighten them off, I mean it
doesn't. It did not take English colonials long to piss off the locals.
Sure they went, so maybe they at that point they were trying to scare
them away Scooby Doo style. Great turns out this continents haunted and they would
have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that imperialism exactly. But
he described them as being, you know, between ten and fourteen feet long.
Sure that they were just these gigantic, uh somewhat amphibious creatures that spent
most of their time in the water. They would only come out when it
was very, very hot, and even when they when they did, they
would the slightest sound, they would get right back into the water. So
they're kind of reclusive. Yeah, yeah, it seems like water and being
just monstrous depending, you know, doesn't matter what description they had, just
monstrous and ill tempered towards humans. What is a commonality, Yeah, absolutely
does not like people floating around. These things were blamed for, I mean
everything from disappearances to cattle mutilations, sounds at night, Yeah, yeah,
strange sounds at night. And if it, if it weren't for all this,
I mean, this is this is a hard one. This is what
I really like about the bunyan Um. In addition to the personal therapy that
I'm enjoying confronting something that's so terrified me as a child, this is such
a persistent creature in Australian mythology and lore that there's been so much discussion about
it that it almost elevates it to the plausible, you know, like this
is one of those things. I mean, is is there such a mountain
of information in reports of this thing because everyone likes talking about it, or
because a lot of people have run across something like this, or is this
this is just the bucket you see something. This is like Australia's Sandhill crane.
Oh you see something weird? Bunyep, yep. Yeah, did your
credit score drop? Bun yep. It's not sounding your car engine Bunya probably
stuck in there exactly, But but it is. It is a piece of
Australian lore that is just fascinating. Yeah, and even I mean, you
know, I say it's the Australian kind of like bigfoot sort of thing.
And then there's the Australian big foot, the yawi, which in some cases,
in some of the research we've done, some people have just like,
oh yeah, bunyip yaw same thing. Yeah, maybe not, maybe not
maybe maybe not then, and maybe that's a good subject for a future podcast.
I mean, because Australia actually has a very real and established record for
giant mammals. Yeah, and lots of different species that aren't found anywhere else
in the world exactly, like giant wombats, like real things like cave slots,
things like this. I mean, Australia does have an actual established scientific
history of huge mammals yea. And its isolation means yeah, some weird stuff
floats around down there. I mean, it is a continent hell bent on
punishing those who live there. Everything is poisonous, everything hates you. And
if it were extreme conditions, yeah, if it weren't for their seductive accents,
I think we would have bombed it to death by now. Not really,
there's actually great people and their accents are awesome. Um, let's talk
a little bit about the myth of the bunyup. The mythology involved that implies
we're going to get to the fact of the bunyip, but you don't have
to say it out loud. No myth in fact are the same word in
this episode. Okay, that's what name this was one makes this such a
fun one, the Bunyup. The word is often translated as evil spirit or
devil, and it's also called a buny buny in some places bunny um.
So there's one myth of the Aborigines that that goes the bunyip was created a
man first of all, but Biami, one of the wisest men created by
Rainbow Serpent, had him banished, had had bunyp banished from the tribe after
the bunyip ate his own totem animal uh yep so. Being exiled and angry,
the bunyip out to make life miserable for the tribes. Hiding in water
holes by day, the Bunyup emerged at night to creep around and devour sleeping
people. Yeah. Now, of course, some women decided to test his
alleged evil and sought him out and were soon trapped into becoming siren like water
spirits that inhabited his water hole. Or Billabong. Hey y'all want to live
with me n Billabong? I mean, hey, y'all want to live with
my nac Billabong. That's as much Australian as I got. Yeah, so
this is this even adds another layer to it with having these these seductive siren
like spirits that lure people into his habitat and then he devours them. He
being the bunyup any any given bunyan, any given billibong. Yeah, there
are a lot of billabongs in each of them has a small bunyip family.
So that's that's sort of one are the myths of how the bunya came to
be. It was pretty fun. Rainbow Man, Rainbow Serpent, Rainbow Serpent,
Yeah, sound familiar. I think we could do a whole episode on
that. Which culture has had that? Yeah, I mean meso America is
a long way away with it from Australia. Yeah. You see Rainbow Serpent
in a lot of cultures. What you don't see is The Serpent and the
Rainbow, which is a movie about zombies, and a lot of people don't
see that movie. I don't see that movie. Don't let them bury me.
I'm not dead. I continue to not see them. But you know
what is out on Netflix streaming right now? What Iron Sky the Nazis from
Space movie? Shut your button? No, I won't, it is it
is. I might watch it tonight. Actually, I guarantee I'm gonna watch
it tonight. It looks so funn so silly and fun Iron Scott. Anyway,
Bunyep, Hey, the characteristics, well, the rainbow serpent, well,
we might even do a whole episode on rainbow serpents. It's everywhere,
so it's got to be something to it, right, right, I mean,
Australia and the Yucatan Peninsula are right next to each other, after all,
Yeah, exactly, a lot of a lot of trade between the two
of them. Um. I hope you guys wiped yourself off after all that
sarcasm that we just threw. But the characteristics of a Bunyep, let's talk
about those. Yeah. Uh. One of the one of the biggest ones
that I've read about was that it had this loud bellowing cry which apparently warns
people to avoid a water source if the Bunyep has its gunya in it and
gunya is it's home. Okay, But that's that's one of the things that
is common with all the stories, like, you know, you hear this
weird, blood curdling scream night or maybe even during the day, and it's
a bunyip. So um, we we've heard, we've heard that before.
And to a degree, the white settlers that were coming in were attributing all
kinds of different things that they weren't used to. Screams, included to you
know, oh, that's a bunyip, just like we said, you know,
oh, fan belt acting up now, it's a bunyip, right,
and bunyips in the carburetor, and that's a you know, you consider like
the early colonists to Australia coming in there. You know, it is like
as I you know, jokingly said, I mean, it is a it's
an intimidating place. It's huge, there is a large native population already.
They're like, hey, we already live here. You know, there's there's
a lot of very strange and unfamiliar surroundings already, right, and there are
so many things already actively vying for the title of I killed this guy that
why not bunyips? Why not? Uh. Some people described it as being
awkward and sham bling when it when it walked or maybe even retreated back into
its billabong. Primarily, I read that they seem to be nocturnal, preferring
to hide in their water holes during the day and then go out and terrorize
it and hight. And their favorite prey is human women, maybe because of
they find them more more easily catchable or something. I don't know. I
mean, that's my favorite prey, all right, moving on. And they
may also carry diseases me too. Maybe I'm a bunyip and I never knew
it terrifying. Yeah, it's a weird. We don't have to do any
sound effects for this, that's right, I am the sound effects. Michael
winslower this podcast. Hey, David Flora, put down on that fifty caliber
machine gun. Put it down next to this radar screen. Sorry, you
gotta tell me how Milwaukee talkie over. We are so talented. We have
our own podcast. You can't stop it great. Some of the history besides
the mythology of it, the history in terms of how it showed up in
the record books and stuff, going back to a couple of fellows by the
name of Hamilton Hume and James Meehan found some large bones in New South Wales,
Australia. In eighteen eighteen, Hamilton Hume, also known as British Englishman
uh and Uh, described he remains much like a hippo or a manatee.
And you know what, just to take a quick TiO right there, you've
got a large animal, somewhat ungainly and so you know it talks about his
awkward shambling gait and kind of ungainly on ground, lives in the water,
nocturnal, comes out at night to feed. I mean, for lack of
a better you know idea. Right now, we're pretty much discussing a hippo.
Yeah, at this point, look, I mean they're just talking about
hippos. Yeah, point out that there are no hippos in Australia. But
nonetheless they didn't know that then, right and yeah, exactly. So,
so he finds some bones, I don't, so keep going. Okay.
A little later than that, there was an article in the Geelong Advertiser in
eighteen forty five that told of some bones discovered near Geelong, Victoria, Australia,
which were identified as belonging to a bunyip by an Aboriginal man. Yeah,
so they showed these bones to one of the locals and he said right
away, that's a bunyip bone. Yeah, and I think he even drew
one out for them. Yeah, and he actually even raised the anti furthies,
like you want more, I know where there's tons of these things.
So that was eighteen forty five. Then just just a year after that,
a skull was discovered in eighteen forty six, and they said it was put
on display as a bunyip skull in Your Fever is Born, Yeah, in
the Australian Museum and it was on display I guess in eighteen forty seven.
Yeah, and there's a huge, huge amount of interest in it. Now
that was somewhat debunked as there were a lot of I mean, when you
say you have a bunyip skull, you're gonna get some experts, You're gonna
get some you're gonna look at it um and they thought that it was far
more likely that it was a deformed fetal skull of of of an animal like
a fold, maybe a calf. Calf. Yeah, But that prompted a
ash of sightings of it throughout the eighteen fifties in some of the territories like
Victoria, New South Wales and South Australia. That reminds me of Jersey Devil
stuff. Yeah, exactly. Have they had that period where it's like everybody
sees the Jersey Devil. Yeah, we're going to close schools, close of
it. I still would love to say, no, no school done today.
White settlers believed the Aborigines, and then, like I said, they
did attribute all kinds of them familiar stuff to bunyips, including sounds and if
if livestock were taken or missing, you know, stuff like that, or
if people miss we're missing bunyip got him? Yep, yeah, lot,
bunyip got him? Bunyip? Oh you got yourself a bunyip. I don't
know why everybody's from Maine that's moving to Australia. I don't know. Yeah,
because they're driving cattle. People from Maine are as close to we as
we have to British people. I mean that's the best I can do geographically,
right. Yeah, So what could this thing be. Let's let's talk
about what man allow me to unroll this giant scroll of supposition. Uh.
It could be one form of an extinct marsupial, the Deprotodon, which lived
up until about ten thousand years ago. Apparently this this is kind of like
experts that are that are going and weighing in on the stuff saying, well,
this is clearly a deprotodon, that it was a large, four legged
and I lived in swamps and billabongs and um, that's my scientist. Has
the scientists been drinking? No I have? Did he have a stroke of
some sort? But yeah, wake the scientist up a large hadron collider um.
So yeah, Depradadon could could be could be that you know, that's
that's one of your mega wombats or whatever, right, Yeah, undiscovered aquatic
marsupial and living in Australia being secluded like that, maybe it could maybe it
could have survived for that long. Now there's some some more um mundane explanations.
Australian fur seal, which is known for its loud and abrasive cry what
is that? No? I thought you were asking me to And let's hear
an example of this. Yeah, no, what's a fur seal? Oh
man? I answered the improviser's question and not the podcast question. I thought
you were a pimp. Get another weird sound out? An Australian first seal,
as the name might imply, is a it's a first seal. Oh,
a first seal, yeah, Lee. It lives around Australia, so
it's a seal that's free. Yeah, oh great. Um, what did
you think? I said? I thought it was like Latin, like the
first sign that makes a lot of sense and other things. I think the
first seal probably pretty fair. Yeah. A lot of these accounts are just
people don't even see the whole thing. They just see it dipping around in
the water. Yeah, are shambling around? Could be a walrus watered up.
Could be memories of the Aborigines that are passed down from generation to generation
through stories and there, you know, it just kind of gets morphed over
time into the idea of this monstrous thing. And then you know, from
those stories people start thinking they see stuff and attributing cultural memory basically. And
you know, and keep in mind, you've got this this continent of Australia.
You have a rising, uh, the rising Aboriginal population. They're hunting
more. I mean, we pulled a very similar maneuver here in North America
with mammoths. You know, they probably were these these terrifying megafauna that did
get just hunted to extinction. And like you said, there is a great
uh. The Aboriginal culture is amazing at passing down stories and art and information.
There's a very good reason to believe this would stay in there and you
know it becomes their their mythology. But it's all very real. You know,
at one point they were at one point, yeah, yeah, with
giant wombats. Yeah, here's a fund when could be escaped cons hiding from
the law, very possible, people that that didn't want to be seen,
so they jumped in a swamp or a billabong, and then when they emerged,
somebody might be happening by and see this, you know, large shambling
hulk also could account for attacking women. How cons are with women? Yeah,
I mean so, so what became started at as a joke. So
these cons decide to just escape out into the outback and then then they scooby
dude the outback. I would have got away with it, dude, damn
dog. Oh, I would have got away with it. I wan't for
you pesky kids hardening my billabong. Yeah, I mean, so what else
you got? I got one more? Okay, And I think you'll you'll
like This one particularly could be mistaken for an Australasian bittern, which is a
member of the Heron family of birds, similar but unrelated to the crane,
mother feeding stupid ass, Why on earth would you knocking, mother clicking,
face twisting, donkey swiping, slappering faced toll patrol snargling, everything that is
wrong with crypto zoology and people's unwilling to believe. Why must everything come down
to the sheating, sucking sandhill crane. Sandhill cranes, No, not today,
at least it's a different family, but still a bird. It's found
along the coastal areas. I'm just tired now. I just need a nap.
Yeah, no, yep, I can't explain it might might be a
bird, it's not a bird. Oh God, you there's nowhere on earth
you can run from the tyranny of the sandhill crane. You cannot. Actually,
I'm gonna start looking for cryptids that couldn't be a sand hill Yeah exactly,
I think there are less of them. Anytime we do research, if
I see sand hill crane, We're not doing it. It's off no more.
I mean this one, this one, really, I mean this one.
Scooby dude its way into the explanations because it massed itself as a heron.
But you know it's a sand hill crane, right, Oh man,
you know that bunyip is just a bird with a red face and oh yeah,
you know, and it's it's glowing eyes and it's screaming cry. It's
haunting cry. Oh man, Oh you know, it's probably just you know
what, I can't even you go down hell sand hill crane, You go
to hell and you die. Um, So that's that's what it could be.
O it's not. I'm going with giant Wombat. I'm going with Giant
aquatic Wombat. It's funny because I you know, I'd never heard of that,
and still until we start really researching the stuff, and like you know,
they have the some shows and stuff out there that are trying to explain
away the moth Man or explain away Mermaids and stuff like that, you know,
Discovery Channel. But yeah, they never mentioned Sandhill Crane on there.
You know what, maybe you know what, I am very glad that you
said that, because I want to discuss just what you said and clearly you've
seen the same thing. I have. The Discovery Channel, which used to
be and still pretends to be a beacon of enlightenment. And you know what
good points on them? You know they they they used to have good programming.
Yeah, but when it comes to things like cryptids, they are doing
the most inordinate disservice. I used to think that any attention is good attention,
but now like they've made a mockery of Hunt and Squatch, that's true
and ghosts and I saw something that I just saw it last weekend, but
apparently it's been around for a while now, like at least a few months.
They started making these these shows that are they try to make it look
like like like they discovered encrypted or if they've done something, they've made some
huge discovery. And what I'm talking about is what you just referenced, Mermaids.
I watched this show. It was a New Year's Eve. I had
already come home from a party. Yeah I totally go out in rock New
Year's Eve, Okay, but I got home. Yeah, I'd had some
a few drinks in me. I was kind of sleepy, and boom,
turn on TV and there's this thing about Mermaids and I'm like what, And
there's all these interviews about how they found forensic evidence. They have pieces of
the skelet and they've they've recreated the skull, They've they're finding this ancillary evidence.
There's interviews with secret people. I'm like, holy did they did they
do this right? And I don't I don't quite believe it. And I'm
watching this show on Discovery Channel. At no point is there anything to give
away that this is a complete fictional work of crap. But finally, after
a long time, I realized that that's exactly what it is. And I'm
reminded of another show they've done years ago where some guys claim to have found
the Carcodon megalodon still swimming around in the ocean, like the world's largest terrifying
shark, bigger than a boat, and why on earth do you do that?
Like it? I actually did a little bit of research on it because
it irritated me and one of the people that they kept interviewing, one of
the quote unquote scientists for their show, their documentary, they kept listing as
a NOAH scientist, which is the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. When I
was in an article I worked with the NOAH guys. They're great, and
so they keep saying they keep interviewing Noah scientists and it says so blah blah
blah scientists for Noah. Because of this, this ridiculous hoaxy show they put
on, Noah has to put on their website. No, we have not
discovered mermaids, was it? No, we have done nice, you still
owe me? Okay, so they have to And and what's even more irritating,
then Discovery Channel does a quote unquote news article that says, hmmm,
why did Noah feel the need to directly address mermaids? They don't ever do
that with anything else. What are they trying to hide? No, it's
because you made a TV show that said they're real and quoted Noah as saying
they were real. Wow, it doesn't. It's just there's enough genuine areas
of inquiry and for all we know, maybe there are people. I don't
think there are, but why would you make a show that that says we
found them and at no point acknowledges, even in the slightest that it's not
real. And they use every single one of their documentary tricks Like I say
tricks, because they use every format of a documentary of their other shows that
are wildlife specials, and so they're building on the body of their work of
nature documentaries to create a fake one and never tell you it's fake, and
it should they yeah, and it It just it just pissed me off because
there's a lot of people who watch that that aren't really critical of what they
see, and there's a lot of people who kind of innately trust something like
Discovery Channel, who ostensibly has a dedication to nature and science. Yeah,
and now and then they just decide just oh, I'm just gonna drop this
on them, but now has a very big dedication to making money, right
exactly. I mean, it'll all be reality programming in two more years,
so it don't matter. It'll it'll become what TLC has become. TLC used
to be a phenomenal channel until it was privatized, exactly. And I remind
you that tl tea, the Home of Toddlers and Tierra's yep, still ostensibly
stands for the Learning Channel yep. But what we should do is privatize more
stuff right now. And I'm very sorry to soapbox that, but uh,
it just it just made me mad that the Discovery Channel would stoop to something
like that. That's just a gimmickree. And also it pissed me off because
for ten minutes three quarters drunk, completely sleeping me on a sofa. I
was like, wait, what what? Why did I know this? We
should do an episode of homents. Oh my god, I gotta get floor
on the floor. Wake up, dude, down there. It's four in
the afternoon. What are you doing? Well, that's too bad. Yeah,
and I you know what, I think what is also fueling the the
anchor and the diet tribe is that I'm not I'm not over the Sandhill crane.
And uh and you know what, I'm gonna invoke the ancient right of
blood sacrifice on this. Someone needs to pay the price for bringing up the
sand Hill crane. Can possibly be me? Oh no, it couldn't.
It will. But it was in the Heron family that I've Oh, oh,
don't you try to lawyer me, Flora. You know what, I
sentence you to the penalty box. No, yep, you're going to the
penalty box. But you know what, because you didn't necessarily directly make a
mistake, you just offended my sensibilities. That's what you're being punished for.
Right. Well, Uh, you know what I have I've got a little
monologue. I've got a little little thing here for you. I think our
listeners might be familiar with the movie. A few good men, and uh,
I think that you're going to go in the penalty box and we're gonna
have to hear the famous you can't handle the Truth scene. Oh goodness,
Yeah, you will be playing the role of Tom Cruise. I am Tom
Cruise, as we do in all Now. I wasn't excited to be Tom
Cruise because I get to be Tom Cruise. I was excited because he has
like three lines in this Yeah, no, no, no, I'm Tom
Cruise. All right, your Jack Nicholson great? So all right, but
the old headphones on and away we go. I take you to a courtroom.
You want answers. I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers.
I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. Son. We
live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded
by men with Guns's gonna do it, you, you Lieutener Weinberg. I
have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You we Persenttiago and you
curse the Marines. You have that luxury you have the luxury of not knowing
what I know that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably say save lives,
and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You
don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties.
You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
I think that you've paid your debt to society. Justice has been meted out.
Oh that that that didn't hurt at all. Yeah, I could do
ninety days standing on my head. All right, I guess I sand Hill
Cream, I mean, I guess. Oh man, Uh, modern Bunyip
in Australia still a huge part of their culture, still around it. It's
more I mean, it's definitely gotten more mythological, you know. It's it's
graduated kind of into that legendary status more along more more so than like it's
still out there snatching people. Although it's some people do think that it's kind
of a kind of a lovable um mascot. And it looks like in the
current funzy you know, this isn't your parents fun yep, the current you
know, Buddy bun Yep, it is kind of like a it looks kind
of like a little farcical dragon. You know, he's got a tail and
he's he's always having adventures. Watch out. They put him on a stamp
not too long ago. Yeah, a couple of versions of him. Yeah,
you know. But if you if you google image Bunyep, you're gonna
get the lion's share of yea of all kinds of images from that, what
I really like, My favorite of all of the Bunyep google images is the
one that was dripped, that was drawn by a witness, by a rap
original witness, and it kind of looks like if you asked a four year
old to draw a cow. That's true. Yeah, it's a it's kind
of a big blobby, blah blah thing with small head, big body,
buck toothed. But yeah, it's uh, it's it's just a fun cryptid.
And I love the idea of it. I love that it's I like
talking about this idea of regionalized cryptids. Yeah yeah, and uh, to
our Australian friends out there, if if you guys have many stories about the
Bunyip or anything, we'd love to hear it, man, would we if
we if we got anything wrong? Again we'll go in the penalty box.
Um. Also, if you'd like us to fly out there to discuss the
Bunyip some more, I would love to go to Austria. I would love
for you to fund our trip out there. Yeah, never been. It
would be a lot of fun. That's how we scam this podcast into something
you know, more a little more profitable. Like today it's the cryptids from
Japan. All the places we want to go be awesome. Yeah, oh
man, fly us out there, you guys, ye bring us bring up
remember last week when all we wanted you to do is like us on Facebook
up, we've got your hooked. Yeah, bring us out there. Well,
I'll bring I've got a camera. We'll bring a camera, and we
can even put stuff on YouTube. Yeah, and we're only fifty percent joking
famous. Oh you guys are great, right then, I think that brings
us to the end of this road. I think that we Yeah, let's
uh that I mean, that's that's the bun bun Yip in a in a
watery shaggy billabong nutshell. That's right. We've experienced truth and consequences. We've
we've I went on a tirade against cable television. We really, yep,
I did an amazing Jack Nicholson, Yeah you really did? You know what
you? Um? You took it like a man. That's the best thing
can be said. That's that's the only way to be in the penalty box.
True. Man. Let's do some puns in the oh man, let's
get some punds going here. Do you want to start it? You want
me to? I'll start okay. Um. I've got a watery an aquatic
home renovation business called Gunya business. Gunya yeah. Nice, nice way to
start now. I don't know which one to do, I guess. Uh.
I've got a store that's all for lion tamers. That's where they get
their equipment and stuff. It's called the bun Whip. Oh god, yeah,
let that sink in for a little. Yeah, that's uh. Gunya
business was pretty good. I think it was pretty pleased. Lion Tabor store.
They gotta exist, right, all right, all right, okay,
penalty box. I've got I got one. It's uh some very high fashion
Australian handbags by Depratodon. They might be made out of reptile or mammal,
sorry to tell what they're made from. That's good. My dismount was gonna
be about the depratodon, but I don't want to No, no, it's
all right, I don't I don't want to double up on it. I'm
gonna I'm gonna go for the weaker dismount again. Um. This is a
Chinese home decore store called the Billa Gong. Oh nice. I would like
to salute both of us first, staying away from the pothead phillibong joke.
So sorry for us, all right, yeah, yeah, we're just great
human beings. I guess let's just let's just break our arms and patting ourselves
on the back for a while. I'll do that. I'm gonna give us
a week to heal up before the next is thrilling adventure. So I have
exciting news. Oh really, I would love to hear it. I you
know what. I don't mean to jump the gun, but I'm already excited.
You stay excited because I can't. I can't tell you how excited I
am I have. That's not going to work for a podcast. Well,
let me just say this. I've had to change pants twice. What we
have an explosion of mail and feedback from listeners just six to midnight brother.
Yeah, yeah, we uh, we have a ton of stuff from new
listeners. Oh that is awesome. Yeah, so let's let's go. And
so you know it's legit. Here's the sound for it, classic good news
bad news. I love, I love hearing the mail sound. Bad news
is my fake mail is what made it necessary to put a seal of approval
on the mail and the one that made us have to make real bills.
Well, the counterfeiting I was doing, it's it's it's validity is in hindsight,
I think. Yeah, I mean we would have played the sound regardless
anyway. To you new listeners. Hey, thanks for thanks for listening in.
We have one new listener, Greg, and he has sent us Welcome
aboard, Greg, Greg. He has sent us a ton of puns,
and for that we are eternally grateful already before we even read them. Actually,
that's the for any pun, you'll always experience the most gratefulness before you
read them. Those go for ours as well. This goes doubly for I
don't know, man, I really like tile Vortices. And I don't know
if it's because it's so good, or is if I just spent so long
and I came up empty on one. Uh. Anyway, Greg has sent
us a few puns uh and I'm gonna go down through through the list here
rita momorrow. His first one comes from the rest Scooting episode all Right Rescue,
and he says when Alexandra wanted to get all gussied up and paint the
town she was rest scooting on the rits. Oh see that is awesome.
Nice nice. Uh. He also sends us one from the Illuminati episode.
Oh man, I am I am welcome aboard Gray once again, hearty handshake?
Uh. So one from our Illuminati episode. He says it's a less
known but a very important badge in Boy Scouts was to learn how to tie
on Illuminati. Oh yeah, yeah, now he's covered the spectrum U going
going back to our Restcooting episode in Russia, when a guy thought someone was
feeding him a line he would call Bolshevik. Greg, I continue to welcome
you. This is truly where you belong, Oh Greg, you you were
going to be one of our Diamond Platinum Plus plus Diamond Platinum Plus members,
not like those old Diamond Platinum regular people. And Greg sent us one more.
I believe this one's from the Witch's episode. He says, there was
a great man named Vincent and he was a blesser. He had a shop
Blossles coming. He had a shop called Vincent's House of Blessing and the motto
was where blessed is more is see that's that's a good product thing. Yep,
products count. Everybody feel free go ahead, So you got to you
don't have to have a clever tile. Vortices says it as the name of
them. And if Vincent had to go out into the country, would he
would he be dispensing some ranch blessings. Ybody loves ranche blessing. Oh it's
never too late to pun people. Keep them coming again. I have one
more. Some some feedback from Greg or some information. He says, we
mentioned the Ronald Reagan Airport on the Denver podcast, and he says it it's
been around since nineteen forty one, but it was renamed later for Reagan,
and that there aren't any myths or legends unless being legendarily a small and dumpy
is one. That Reagan airport, You jackass. He wants some at Man
and Gippa burn It wasn't that great. So I'm now gonna handle reins over
to you. Some more. Oh man, this is this is an extravaganz.
This is a pun stravaganza. Pravaganza. This is the best ever.
You guys are here hearing it the day that everything got real. All right,
Uh this comes, this comes from a listener. Kitty Pickles, Kitty
Pickles, Kitty Pickles. Well, she's just full of the sauce and fast.
She's full of fast sauce sauce. All right, sweet kpe Sweet Kitty
Pickles hits us with this pun from our apocalypse episode. It's a big shop
called Yeast of Burden. Where is it located? Yeah? See, Oh
man, that's great, that's great. Kitty Pickles, Kitty Pickles. I
hope to hear from your more often. And uh hi, this is the
this is the voice for the lady listeners. I just wanted to say,
thank you. My shirt just fell off. Thanks Kitty Pickles visuals on my
end of the court. Now, um, anything else from Kitty Pickles.
Now, most ladies would stop at a simple pun, even in hot,
entertaining pun account and baked goods. Well, not Kiddy Pickles. No,
she's taken it to the hoop and she sent us an amazingly great email about
our Superstitions episode. Oh, man, man, we are covering a lot
of ground. I know. Well, you know what, that's just great.
That means people start listening, They're like, oh, what's the back
catalog? I've eating, what's fresh, what's in the what's in the freezer?
What can? I thought? Exactly? Um so, so she hits
us with this. I just finished listening to your Superstitions episodes, and I
thought you might like to hear a possible reason for the actors say break a
leg, which I would Flora and I have been known to run amuck on
a stage or two in our day. Kitty Pickles tells us when I was
studying Shakespeare at Middlesex University in London, name drop my pinky just shot out,
boy. I was told the following reason for the phrase. Back in
Shakespeare's day, after a performance, the actors would come out for their bows.
As the audience clapped in applaud at, the actors would bow at the
waist. If the audience continued to clap, the actors would bow a second
time at the waist. If the audience was beside themselves with joy over the
performance and continued to applaud, then the actors would bow for a third time
and bend at the knee or break the leg a swan dive, so to
speak. So the phrase basically means to be so entertaining on stage that the
audience cheers for so long and loud that you were able to bend at the
knee for your third bow. Boo oom, crackt that egg and knowledge on
your cup base. In Shakespeare times, well, she went to she went
to Shakespeare Middlesex University in London, Dude, she wins. She went to
Shakespeare College and in Stratford upon it exactly, she says. She went to
Iambic University in Pentameter, England Shire. Lay. Yeah, it's the fastest
way to get through there. Um, that's great, Thanks Kitty yea,
thank you so much. It's it's weird, I had. I mean,
I think brick a legg has a bunch of different backgrounds to it, one
of which I've heard is just that you're inviting ill luck so that it stays
away. It's kind of a reverse psychology thing. Oh is that like like
when they say go to a bar and nega girl and you're like, she's
pretty hot, go tell her her ass looks terrible and then she'll be into
you. Yeah, that's an actual thing that douchebags do. Oh yeah,
well what probably gets the girl is not the reverse psychology. It's their rock
hard abs. Yeah. Um, they're backwards caps. Let's let's let's stop
this right now before because this is a podcast about locknest monsters and which is
how to get girls. Pretty far out of our field here, But judgment
on douchebags not right, yeah, judgment, Yeah, we can totally judge
a d bag. I've also heard that breaking a leg would be like the
scenery because they have legs, were part of the backdrops that got flown in
and stuff. And oh right right, I forget why you wanted to break
because it meant that the show was over, or meant you you left everything
on the court bro Oh no, no, it's because for hundreds of years,
it has always been the hallmark of a top quality entertainer to just trash
it on stage, just start running amuck. Yeah, oh great, anything
else from miss Pickles, Nope, that is it. That is that is
everything that Kitty Pickles wanted to share with us. Well, we thank you
very much, Kitty Pickles for listening. And sending good stuff and keep them
rolling. Man, I have one more, one more thing from a listener.
This is a this is a new listener again what I'm not not sure
if this is the real name, but the name that was sent is Stella
Believing. So I hope it is. I hope it's someone. Then that's
their name, and they're like, yeah, I get it, I get
it. I would just like to buy some coffee please. But for the
record, if she's in a hurry, she could literally just sing, don't
stop believing. I love you, Stella. All right. So Stella sends
us a story and says, when I was in grade school, someone brought
a Wuiji board to school. I had never seen one before, nor heard
of one, but I participated in the activity, which is to say,
your soul was intact up until this moment. Of course, I asked it
who I would marry, and it's spelled out around five letters. I didn't
know anyone by that name, and actually the name didn't make sense forgot about
it. Years later, I'm married, and for some reason, that episode
with the Ouiji board came back to me. The name the Ouiji board gave
me was almost what my last name is now coincidence? Question mark? Question
mark, question mark, I don't think so. Wow, it's pretty fun.
Huh who would have thought that? I mean, who would have thought
a divination device would tell the future. Well that and when you're a kid
when when Auigi board spells out the Delievin deliving Believin, they're like, what
is that even a last name? It is for Stella. Uh, that's
great, thanks, thanks for sending that story in Stella believing. Yeah,
maybe she said that to the Uiji board. Don't stop at the leaveing.
I need more information. Never sing it a ghost or a spirit uriates them,
take it so angry. Did we cover that in our ghost episode?
No, we should have told people what to do and whatnot. How do
you handle a ghost? Ghosts, dudes, and don'ts next time on blurry
photos? Not really? I think I think this roller coaster has has gotten
back to what's the thing that the station? Platform? The platform? Yeah,
the line it's lame. Well, it's gotten back to whatever the thing
wherever you get on it at? Yeah, which may have a cool name,
and if it doesn't, it should I did not. I just made
that up. That wasn't Spanish and it says something about Famis and Tavos,
close your your your legs. Is that for a name or is that what
you get told when you exit? I don't know. Like I was in
Disney World a few months ago, and my favorite part is there's some warning
about your arms and it's obviously it's something you're keeping your arms and legs inside.
And the Haunted Mansion they try to make it scary and so so it
says something something monos. It was Brussels. My favorite part. You could
lose your arms and brass best. I mean, there's like ten million best
parts to the Haunted Mansion, hands down my favorite thing at disney World.
When this, when this hot track drops, I'll be going to disney World
in like two days. Oh dude, you need to rock that like nobody's
business. I'll do it. I'll go to the to the hand and Mansion
and I'll keep my brass stup models inside that place. Is is what that
mansion's full of haints? Well, this is one hard ticket that's going to
raving of them. Oh that is awesome, man. You see you see
what your your emails to us and contact does. It gets us all excited
and happy and we are invigorated. Bunya paint got nothing on on these man,
so true. Oh man, I don't have anything else, so um,
since my brain's been melted from the penalty box. You can help.
You can help me by going to our Facebook page, liking us, sending
us an email through the contact information on blurry photos dot org, going to
iTunes subscribing rating, commenting all that good stuff, open yourself to our twarts
yeah from Twitter us on blurry underscore photos, and then eventually join our YouTube
subscriber community once we get that up and running, and then our militia to
overthrow it a federal government. We want the truth about kryptid's and we won't
take it anymore. We are and we also want a gold based currency system
exactly, not this fiat. Great. Uh oh, I'm fair, dcome
David Stecco. Yeah, god man, I really wanted to meet Australian women
and I just killed it and it's never gonna happen. Now. Notice how
I've stayed away from the accident. All thatsode You know, I keep flirting
with it much like I flirt with women, which is to say, poorly
into effect. And I'm David, not a Sheila flora. Oh that was
really that was a way better. Oh man, good eye. It's the
stream to side that you have. Even so you can't come quietly that you
get your very sill. The bindy's going to get you. B