Deborah, with her thirty years of being an ltrepreneur and creating over seven companies,
knows exactly what it means to accept the mission. When you make that
decision, when you accept the mission to become a solopreneur, to take yourself
and your talents to market, then you embrace a life of not only unlimited
possibilities, but also the unknown. It's an elixir of fear and bravery that
only someone who's taken the leap really understands. On our show, deb digs
deep with her guests to highlight what you the listener wants to know, the
stories, the whys, and the hows to navigate the journey to success.
Get ready to hear from some of the most incredible mission takers from Generation Z
to boomers. So sit up, perk up, and get ready to be
blown away. Now here is your host, Deborah Drummond. Well, mission
acceptance would what would make you put on this show today? The feeling could
be what the heck is mission accepted. But by the time you got to
hear you already heard some really cool stuff in the introduction about mission accepted.
So look at this is the place that we have at a great time we
laugh, we explore, we be inspired, we feel challenged because who sits
on these shows. Our people that have taken the mission have decided to stay
on the mission for whatever reason. And you might be just coming onto the
show because you loved the name, and you're like, accepting the mission.
Isn't that what we do every day? Abs for regulutely? But then there's
people that take it on in their career as well as their life. Right
They're like, Okay, I've been inspired. Motivation has happened in some way.
I read a book that motivated me, or I got pushed into it,
or I got dragged into entrepreneurship or something. You know, something pushed
me into this direction. And so we're going to explore that with doctor Doreen
Fewning today, we were talking a pre show about how make sure we see
the name correctly and I was like, okay, I gotta make sure I
say your name correctly. So I'm so excited because this woman is all about
finding your voice. So you guys know, I thank you, I love
you. I'm so appreciative for our community. And I always let you know.
Now it's risky. It's always risky when I tell you you're the best
podcast audience ever, because Dorain also has her best podcast audience ever and I
had the pleasure of being on her show. So you guys, we've got
to be on each other's shows. We can be the best largest community.
But you know what, not only are you like the best and most reciprocal
and you share our shows and you do all sorts of really cool stuff from
all over the world. Thank you so much, but you're also the most
I would say expressive, you know, from coomenting back and sharing the word.
So I'm going to give you, you know, hands up for being
expressive today, which is exactly I know you're all laughing what we're going to
dive into with Doraine, because this woman is about helping people find their voice.
Because when you find your voice, your life and right. And if
you didn't believe it, you're going to within this next half an hour having
this conversation, because there really is something pretty incredible that happens. I think,
even from a physiology standpoint, from an energy standpoint, who comes back
into your life when you find your voice and people hear you. Just the
reverberation of how that goes out into the world and all sorts of little magical
things happen. But you don't need to hear it from me. Let's hear
it from Doraine. So, Doriane, thank you so much for coming on
to mission accepted today. Oh this is wonderful, dab already you've captured so
much of what I'm about. Thanks absolutely. If I haven't said it,
we will share with you that doctor Doreen Downing is a clinical psychologist and we
are excited to hear about not only how she decided to find her voice herself
and share a bit of her mission. She started a practice and she started
a podcast, so she's kind of double dipping in the world. We call
that entrepreneuring. We call that lentrepreneuring. So do share with us, you
know this mission of what made you decide to turn you and finding your own
voice into a career. Well, I think that I always knew i'd be
a psychologist, went to UC Berkeley and got a PhD. And however,
the thing that nobody really knew about me was that I had a fear of
my own about public speaking. And actually, just one person at a time
in my office, I was safe. I got to ask the questions if
anybody asked me anything. It was like, oh, I wonder where that
question came from. You know, I got really good at turning things around
to put the attention on the other person. However, when I was asked
to give my research at a conference, I said no, no, no,
no, I'm too afraid of public speaking. And the organizer said,
but doctor, isn't fear your business ooh m hm, there's a mirror.
Yes, well it was a confrontation. You're right, a mirror. I
didn't want to. It was like, yeah, the veil dropped, yes,
okay, and it must have just been time for me to set out
on my journey to find this voice inside that was captured. Or Michael Angelo
talks about the marble and chiseling until you set her free, and I think
that's how I felt. And so that's when I started taking my first classes
on overcoming the fear of public speaking, even though I had a PhD in
psychology. I think that's relieving for people to hear. I always think that
we are fully heading into the world of transparency. I think when people talk
about authenticity people being authentic, I think they're saying that because people are being
transparent and not being concerned about having on how things look. Right. I
always said, like we were the best dressed dysfunctional family on the block,
along with every other best dress dysfunctional family, right, Like you really kept
things inside. Those things belong in this house and what have you. And
I think there's a place for that, for sure. But when people here
that everybody has their own things to work through, whatever that looks like,
I just think it's a great global sigh of relief. Beautifully said yeah,
and I think that that's stepping towards the fear. Oh my gosh. That
means I have to take myself to a class. And here I am a
professional, and can I humble myself enough to start from zero and take myself
there? And it was terrifying? Yes, So how did you get through
it? Little by little? I think if first of all is saying,
Okay, I need to go through a change process and I need to take
myself to that. So what else is out there? These classes at San
Francisco, and then I joined Toastmasters and I learned how to make a very
good speech. Of course, I was a part of that for seven years.
However, there was still a part of me that I felt like I
was holding back. And it was when that quote about Michaelangelo seeing the angel
and the marble. I think learning how to be a good speaker was how
I became even more able to hide my true self. Really, that's oh
no, no, no, no, that's that's a that's a mic drop.
Yes, that's good. During that is so good. That's so good
because when you said you're speaking, yet you still felt like you were hiding
something, not not allowing something to come up or still bury. That's that's
not unusual. That's certainly not unusual. Yeah, all this, yeah,
all this, Like you said, the well dressed neighbors and you I was
pretty well dressed. But however I had done a lot of inner work,
obviously as a psychologist. But that's when I did even the deeper dive into
finding and this is what I write about my book, Finding the Essence.
You know, she was hiding way back there because she was scared to come
out, and I had to go and say, hello, little one in
there, you know, who are you? What are your strengths? And
I was in some groups where I got feedback about how warm I am and
how embracing I am, and those began to be positive inner strengths that grounded
me. So no matter where I showed up any audience of any size,
I knew that they couldn't take that away from me. And so I learned
how to speak from my essence. That must have been really interesting actually too,
to switch that, to switch that, because there are there's many different
platforms for speaking. Yes, someone has said, has said to me many
times, nothing against ted X. I love listening to some incredible friends of
mine that I've done ted X. And a lot of people have said to
me, why haven't you done ted X? Because you And I'm like,
well, because you can only walk a certain way, and you can only
say a certain thing, and there's parameters, and I'm not sure I'm a
parameter speaker. I'm not sure how it would feel to have to I've just
I've just never had that. I know that there's things that you can say
and should say, and I can hear myself back where there's things that I
can always grow from. And I'm like, I say that word a bit
too much, or I say that word too much. I'm not sure those
parameters would allow me to feel like I could give it all. Do you
know what I mean? I feel like I was in a restraint state.
I don't know, I mean, I've never done it, but well,
I think you're described being what I went through when I finally decided that I
needed to do something other than be a good public speaking performer. And what
you said is it's not about the performance techniques, because that's what good speakers
do, but it's about finding what's true inside of you, your own spirit,
your own essence, the strength that is uniquely yours, and learning how
to express that. Yeah. Wow, Okay, so many different people need
to find their voice for many different reasons. Right, you were looking to
find your voice because you felt like there was still something to you know,
something different inside to be said for people that are listening to us. So
you decided to go on your own door, like you know, make this
you I mean, you made this a living, Like you made this find
your voice, change your life a living. So you were being a psychologist
and then did you add something else on what do people come to you for?
Like, are they like I want to be a speaker, but I
want to be authentic or I am just you know, crumbling in this relationship
or crumbling in my work. And I don't feel like I can express myself,
Like, why do people go to someone like yourself? Like, what
are some of the things that get solved from finding your voice? Oh,
they have both of the things that you just mentioned, relationship issues, being
a speaker that is much more authentic and willing to do other than the kind
of performance techniques to go outside the box to be just more fully expressed.
But I would say that people first come to me because they're anxious and they
realize that coming to a psychologist might be a little bit more helpful than going
straight to a coach who's going to help them be a better well speaker.
Because what I do is help people find their inner self, their inner truth
where true strength. It's a deeper kind of confidence that I think people find
with me, and that's that's what I offer first, and it's I have
to tell you that on my podcast, it's everybody from people who have been
in corporations and didn't have a voice and realized, oh my gosh, you
know, I'm fitting out there what they want me to say, but it's
not really I don't believe. I don't even believe in it. And then
it's also people who are stuck in relationships, toxic relationships. There are people
who and you name just the two, you know, three things that we've
got going. So to me, I have to also say something that I
think is basic to my work with people is that life is your stage.
All day long, you are showing up and you need your voice, you
need yourself to be engaged in a way. So that's one of my things
that you know, life is a stage, make sure you speak up and
engage. That's one of the sayings I have. It's about being engaging.
Right. Yeah, So again for people that are listening and they're like,
okay, there's some places in my life where I could step up a little
bit bit or be more expressive or walk through that, you know, unlock
the door. I always I always say in the Big Woman's Project that we're
doing that you know, if we're you know, I'm in Vancouver and you
know, you're somewhere in the US and we're having this conversation about empowerment,
that there's a woman you know in Europe right now just about to walk into
you know, her her boss's office, and you know, and you know
she she's like, I'm super nervous to go in and ask for the raise,
or ask for the day off, or ask for the holiday or whatever,
and all of a sudden, because we're over here being empowering, like
what we're doing right now, during that all of a sudden, she feels
the wind at her back and she's like, ooh, this door, this
doorknob kind of opened, kind of easy, and she's like, hey,
I need you to sit down for a minute, and I've got something I
need to say, and she's kind of looking around like where did that come
from? But that's my way of asking that question, like, how can
people because there are so many different things that they need to do, what
are some just I don't like the word tips, but what are some things
that you can share that could make things easier for someone in the moment,
right now until they're able to get to talk to you. Well, first
of all, I love that image that you just presented, the sense of
a supportive win that's behind you and giving you the strength from behind, like
the back, I've got your back. And so what I would in the
work that I do. I have seven secrets I talk about in my book,
and I call them secrets because they aren't performance techniques and each one starts
with B, and I would say that one of the ones that seems to
me, well, the first one is be still, so that there's people
have to learn how to go from a state of anxiety and triggered to a
state of came than just saying that word and those If anybody's watching, you
just saw my hands literally to go down in the front of my body and
feel like I've just oh landed in a deeper sense of strength, rounded,
centered in the now. And I'll just say that the second secret I talk
about is be present. And there's a whole training I have about presence.
So those two are really really important. So the person who's about to walk
into the office needs to come into this now moment, and one of the
quickest way to do that is to look at some object in the very immediate
surrounding, focus on it, focus on it, brief, focus on it,
focus, and then pretty soon your mind is very there, very clear,
very sharp. And this whole idea about having voice come up rather than
in your head, this whole idea of dropping down down down to where strength
is and you know what you need and what you want, and you're going
to ask for it in a way that will probably work because you have more
inner strength than you realize. That's I mean, I think that's incredible because
that whole idea about being in the now. When you're anxious about something,
you've been talking to someone who you have a safe, trusting relationship with.
Maybe you need to bring something up that's not necessarily going to be like,
hey, where do you want to go for dinner tonight? And just so
all these things are going on in your head like what if and yab at
this and all that conversation. But to be in the now and be really
really present in the now with none of that chattering, because isn't that a
lot of reasons why we don't step into our own voice or we don't is
because of the chatter or the fear or the what if or the all of
that stuff. So to be present, Yeah, you're talking about all the
other voices and which voice are we really listening to and how do we get
access to it and know the sound and the feel. It's a sensation of
oh this feels so good. And you used a word earlier today, reverberation.
You know that there's a sense of resonance that when you are truly in
your now moment, ground it and open and channeling truth. Then it feels
like that's where power is. I think that life is so interesting. You're
you're talking to someone who you know, I've been on the personal growth journey
or you know, the career growth growth journey. Let's call it the career
growth some people it's a journey. I'm like, oh, it's a growth
journey, right, you want to play the entrepreneur game or the life game.
And I've been a big advocate of getting coaches, trainers, counselors,
therapists, whatever's up. Oh, whatever's up, you know, through that
whole experience, and it's always not shocking to me but reminding to me.
For example, as we sit here in this have this conversation about these things
that you, as an expert in this area, can teach someone that makes
a complete difference. My son a year ago, Now look at I have
a podcast that can teach people how to be on city, you know,
but it was my son. So I'm like, you're you know, I
think he was seventeenth at the time. I'm like, let's just find you
a speech coach. He's like why, I'm like, because you're going to
be on podcasts, you're going to be on TV. Need to know how
to speak, because when the waiter just asked you what you did for a
living, You're like, oh, yeah, I kind of got this clothing
thing. It's cool. But he didn't look at him, and I'm like,
uh, you know, and learning how to speak and when you find
find an expert like you that can take someone and bring it out. A
year later, my son's shaking hands and saying, I appreciate you coming to
my event last Saturday, but really, I when you talk, I just
it just reminds me how finding someone and hiring somebody in a specialty arena.
I mean a voice speaking that's more of a specialty. I think it's a
specialty. It makes you just so much better. Like we talked, you
say your podcast is called Find Your Voice, Change your Life. Yes,
so maybe share with us because I mean, I'm seeing and I'm having my
AHA moment. I love how people hired people for specialty reasons and how does
it change one's life. I just gave an example of how that changed my
son's life and also made my work a lot easier. But how did how
does it change people's life to find their voice, like you know, why
should people brave up and go do that? Oh? I love that phrase
brave up? And in a way, you know, there's this idea about
feel the fear and do it anyway. I would like to have less fear,
and that's what I would like to work with people more just rather than
push and go do it regardless of the fear. Let's dissolve that fear and
find who you truly are so you can show up, walk into any room.
And some of the stories, many, many many that are on my
podcast of people who have gone from severe trauma to coaching in masterclasses and writing
books. So I think the podcast is a good place to go find a
lot of those stories. But if you want one right now, I've got
absolutely How did it change someone's life? Like that should? Yes? He
was a VP of sales vice president of sales in a company and a corporation
and every Friday morning he had to give a report to the team. And
he said that he sweated for hours Friday morning and then he would type it
up and then he would read it to his team. And he was always,
always, always nervous. And what we did was two things. We
dove back, which, because I'm a psychologist, always liked to get to
the root, and we found a route to his anxiety, which had to
do with early in a class, he asked a question that was embarrassing probably
at that time because he was only like twelve years old, and everybody teased
him from then on and it had to do with a It was in a
sex education class. And what he saw when he looked back at that moment
was how he's carried shame because he was bullied and teased. But what he
saw, the whole shift in his mindset was I had the courage. Nobody
else everybody was thinking of the same question, nobody had the courage to ask
it. So isn't that amazing just that shift in taking his more compassionate self
as an adult back to that moment when he which he identified as one of
the root causes and now you know this kind of sense of boy, I
have courage. Isn't that empowering? Yeah? To make that shift and to
I mean, and it changes everything, right, it changes everything. Yes,
I don't know how old this gentleman is, but to be able to
let that go, yes, and to find sometimes it's interesting even just knowing
where it comes from. It's like I was twelve, I was this,
I was that, that's no relevance to my life today at you know,
thirty, forty fifty or sixty years old, Like there's just no relevance.
Yeah. I had a podcast just early or today with somebody who grew up
in another country in dire poverty, so poor. The family lived in one
room and that was freezing. She talked about the breath coming out and her
mom would bring hot you know, warm bottles to warm up their bed.
And she's now an international speaker, she's out there and so it's wonderful.
This is to me that I hope that our listeners today are getting how important
it is to know yourself and learn about who you are, and that anything
that's happened in the past, and this is what happens on the podcast,
anything that's happened in the past is good. It's not all bad. It's
like you can make something out of it. You can, It's all meant
to be there for a reason. Awesome. Well, look, I know
that it's kind of coming time to wrapping up. I know that you have
some resources for people to share, and so look, I know that people
can work with you one on one. Yes, there's people that love to
do one on one. There's people that love to do group work. So
I know that you offer both, which is nice because not everybody wants to
be you know, they want to have that more specialized. I personally love
that that way. You have a book that you talked about what is the
name of your book during Oh the Seven Secrets to Essential Speaking, and I
talked about two of them be Still, be Present, and there are seven
and so that's available. Find your Voice, Change your Life, the seven
Secrets to Essential Speaking, And I say, essence is where we need to
speak from. So it's not essential say the right thing. It's really about
tapping into your inner strength, your inner voice, your inner self. That's
powerful. If you want to hear Dorian talking to people about having experience around
finding their voice and how that changed their life and how that happened, you
can go to the podcast Find your Voice and Change your Life, And of
course everything will be in the show notes, Doreen, have I missed anything
that people can come and find out more? No, my website has everything.
During Doowning dot Com During Doowning dot Com awesome so look, you guys,
if you're like, hey, I think I can up my game.
I think that there's somewhere else I can be braver. I think that I
could feel safer in being authentic. I think that's really what comes to me.
Around people started to become more authentic, it would have you and you
want some supporting that then you can contact Doraen and have that experience and then
come tell us how Come tell us how it worked out. Come on the
show. She's going to coach you so well that you're going to contact me.
Could you guys know, if you want to be sitting where Dorian is,
then you're in contact. You're like, I need to come into your
show because I got something to say. That's nothing to say. That's why
it's going to say. Okay, now I'm going to completely change the whole
conversation and I'm going to ask you this beautiful final question that my listeners know
happens on every show, and that question is if you were on your way
to a desert island and it was you and you, and you had this
beautiful suitcase, and in the suitcase you only had room for one album that
you could stick in this suitcase that you couldn't imagine not listening to for the
rest of your day as well. You're having a nice miye tie on that
beach. What album would you take with you? Well, I know what
song I would take with me. In fact, just talking about it kind
of moves my heart right now. And it's from The Grateful Dead, and
it is Ripple is the name of the song. And I mentioned the word
that you've talked about today, reverberated, because I think that's what when we're
in our voices, it does reverberate. But they're that first line, you
know, did if my words could glow? Wow? You know? And
that talks about the tune unsung in your heart and to me that I'm just
talking about it and I've got little little goosebumps because it just it just says
to me exactly what I love about speaking up. And there's it's there's a
group that does it. It's not just you know, the Grateful Dead,
it's Be the Change, and they have somebody from every single country. That's
not every single country, but people from different parts of it that sing different
aspects or play instruments. So I love the sense of everybody joining in the
world in around singing up, speaking up, singing and expressing life and love
and joy and if my words Dick glow wow wow uh oh. I think
I think you know, everybody out there knows that we've got a pretty big
project going on called, you know, show up, stand up and speak
Up. Maybe we need to do a sing up series. Doth Is like,
no, no, Jeth no, no, no, you know,
stop that. But thank you for sharing that, And what a perfect lead
into having that conversation about if you want to come and you guys know,
we've got this great project going on where women like doing come on and share
inspiration and information and just powerful, just powerful, moving presentations and seminars and
workshops. It's the twenty two Summits I'm talking about people. I know a
lot of you have been on. We're so grateful we are heading into our
tenth on December eighth. How incredible out of twenty two and thousands of you
have come to hear this incredible information and just be in celidarity. And it
is a global project. So please, if you don't know where to,
you can to drummond dot com go to the events page and you can find
out about the next summit and or this is not difficult, it's debitdev drummond
dot com. So if you want to come to the summit, if you
want to speak on the summit, if you need to get it up together
to get speaking on the summit, go see Dorian and come see us.
And if you'd like the author in the book of two hundred and sixty two
women that is supporting that project as well. We announced to the world on
International Women's Day about this incredible book and then we launch it live to the
world on May eleventh. So Dorian, thank you for being with us today.
Audience, Thank you so much. We hope you feel inspired and motivated,
empowered, and you guys know what to do right, you know to
share this episode, you know to give us your comments, and you not
to show up again next week. And so thank you again Dorian for being
with us a day and for you guys be well and stay groovy. Bye
for now,