Hey, look, he's a day. Look he's a day. Look,
hey have everybody. Welcome to the Snark Tank Podcast. Unfortunately, you know
we are gonna have to start this episode off on a somber note. I'm
here with Kingston obviously, but Derek obviously is not here with us. He
couldn't join us today. He is, he's he's very, very busy crafting
a spear out of old Native American bones. I don't know why, but
in his stead we have eminem here. We have an eminem here as a
replacement guest. And yeah, how's it going? Man? Yeah, man,
fucking welcome. I feel very welcome. Then. I'm just here to
promote my new hair dye, and I got a single coming out, I
gotta I gotta coming out called Wini, which is better than Mussolini and who
also likes to eat Linguini and who has well, this is a sneak peak
to the song. Huh, sneak peaks the song you're giving us, so
maybe you know, to be honest, the song isn't even finished yet.
I haven't even even just announced the song before it was even remotely like,
He's just like, you know what I gotta I gotta get I got a
lot of fire under my ass, and I'm coming out with a song this
Friday. And then he's gonna even it's called and he hasn't even he hasn't
even sat down to write anything. He's like, I'll just say a lark.
Literally, it's literally, I'll set alarm clock early six am on Friday
or on uh yeah, thirty first, and then I'll I'll figure it out.
It's literally just uh, it's just about magicians. That's it's not even
really it's not even like a clever it's not even like a clever like metaphor
or anything. It's it's just he's just talking about cool magicians that he likes.
He's like, I like Houdini. He's cool, and I don't even
know I hate rap now. It's just like it's so choppy, but not
in a like chopping angry like and then he'll get all playful like I don't
I don't know what happened, like it doesn't he don't. You Just have
you ever have you ever just gone back and listened to something you made a
long time ago and be like, yeah, I should do this, Maybe
I like this, I should Maybe I should go back and draw inspiration from
this time. And I don't mean like his hateful like but like his flow
is good back then. I don't know what happened. How does that happen?
Yeah, I don't know. He's older. Dude, Your your sense
of what you enjoying your art form change, especially over twenty something years,
nearly about it, literally in two years. His first mix tape came out
thirty years ago. Dude, if Infinity was his first one, not Infinity,
and Infinity was his first one. I think infinite infinite infinite. That
is almost thirty years. That's ninety six, right, yeah, bro,
yeah, thirty years. You change, you know, like it's not he
just you know, no, he's gay. But Kanye, I guess I
guess that the issue one knew like kinds of styles, it's just how they
are. The issue I guess would be that, like if he didn't change,
people would also kind of that would also be a problem for people.
It would be a problemly like the same exactly critics, but they don't matter.
That's the thing. Like you look at a band like uh disturbed,
Like they they're there, their shows are always sold out, they're always they're
fine, even though people make fun of them for like, oh, every
song sounds the same essentially, like their fans don't give a flying fuck about
that even in any in any capacity. And so if but if if Disturbed
came out and they're like, you know what, We're gonna start making circus
music, people would be like, Yo, what the fuck just happened?
Like he's just like, you know, like he's just going that And then
there's that no, no, like I don't actually want to hear that.
I'm be honest, I actually want to hear that now that I now that
I put that out to the world, I want to hear something like this
is crazy that fucking circus song that's one of the most famous songs ever.
Bro, isn't crazy that circuit? Do you do you know like the like
the actual story behind that circus song? Not at all? Like do you
know what that is that is supposed to? Like that so that that is
it? That is like was originally composed And I'm not this sounds like something
I would make up because it is really funny, but it's actually true.
Is like it's called March of the Gladiat and it was meant for warriors.
Can you think of it like a can you think of like a genuine can
you think of a more degrading over time reputation for anything? Like is there
anything that has had his reputation degraded? I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding
that is that is the historical origin of that song? Who's composed for like
just from when the gladiators are entering the Colisseum. It's insane. I think
the idea of that song so no, it doesn't sound right, of course
because we're so fucking accustomed to it being clown oriented, but like it's real.
The idea of hearing that song while you're about to get killed is wild.
Like you're trying to find another man off your body and that shit's blaring
and you're hearing that You're like no, no, and he's trying to bash
ahead in a rock I'm not think getting your penis scraped off by a lion
to that music? What is crazy? This is a check composer, Julius.
I'm not even gonna try. Like his last name is fuck with a
bunch of like squiggles and ship like Julius fuck is basically his last name.
I'm not even gonna try to pronounce how it actually is. But uh yeah,
yeah, you're right, Entry of the Gladiators, But yeah, it
says military march, composed in eighteen ninety seven. And uh, I what
is the it is the original version? Like what is the original version of
it? Like what is more orchestral? It has to be modified? The
original sounds more orchestral, but it's still goofy that like that is such a
that is such a vibe that would not get you hyped up for anything other
than it does sound like festivity and games. It is not sound that does
not sound like military, which fair, which to be fair, I guess,
yeah, I guess. I mean to them it was though, I
like it was it was less about glad because they didn't give a shit about
the gladiators, you know what I mean. They wouldn't be putting them in
the in front of lions if they cared about it. They were just like,
we want to pay so for them. I guess it was like basically
like a carnival. It's like, hey, everybody, look who's coming in.
It's the entertainment. I'm just trying to buy food or eat bread.
I'm just trying to picture an army doing, because you know, you always
see those marches and they're all in Unison doing all that ship and it looks
like, well, it's crazy. I'm trying to picture what is it the
check I don't know what I'm assuming if since the check guy wrote it,
it's that kind of army. Oh god, yeah, I'm seeing. No,
that looks that that's bad. I'm seeing. I like the video.
The video is called what I'm looking at right Now. It says how the
clown song was meant to be played, like it's like that listens, no,
but listen for real, like really think about this for a second.
Is there anything anything now? And I was talking about like individuals, because
individuals, of course, like you have like Bill Cosby and fucking you know,
people have had their reputations absolutely tanked. Is there is there any thing
that has had its original purpose squandered so deeply as this song going from like
a march for gladiators or an entry for gladiators to a fucking clown anthem?
Is there anything the American government? This is the worst. This is the
worst, like you look at like the definitely some people were saying, this
is like this is actually a perfect this is a perfect like this perfectly describes
the vibe of the they said, the Austro Hungarian armies in the twentieth century.
So this thing, this actually does make perfect sense. So these are
people that are probably kind of disrespecting that region saying like yeah, yeah,
this actually, this is this this it captures it perfectly. I can't speak
on that obviously, but yeah, that is that. That's got to be
disheartening for especially the people over there that probably had pride when they heard that.
Right, like these like seventeenth century people were like, this is this
is this is the ship, this is our ship. And then I don't
know how many years later, how many years later that it it became like
the clown thing because this guy, say wrote in eighteen ninety seven, so
it was almost a turn of the century for them. And then at some
point, like in the nineteen hundreds it turned into clown music, like and
it's like, was it it? Maybe during World War One it was like
propaganda or something. I wonder what happened, because that's that's fucking sad.
Yeah, I'm damn game, I'm super I would watch I think I would
watch it documentary all about the Fall of the clown song, like I'm so
genuinely curious about, like, like how like the steps the rise and fall
of the Clowns are I'm like, when did it start? Like did it
start ironically? Was it like, Oh, I've got an idea, we're
gonna like, we're gonna bring in clowns, but we should do it to
like bad like when they still thought it was bad ass, you know what
I mean, saying let's bring in let's start with this badass music. But
then like we're just gonna send in clowns and that'll be the joke. And
then people obviously when they were in the nineteen hundreds, they had no real
means of even knowing what that song was, so they were like, oh,
clowns. And then it's just I'm so fascinated by it. Yeah,
somebody said it sounds goods from it, but I the intro like that,
it doesn't sound bad. I'm sorry that that d No, no, no,
no, that does not sound cool to me in any capacity. It
sounds completely like show tunes. It sounds like you're supposed to be dancing,
not marching. It sounds like like somebody is dancing. Somebody has even like
the ring master is like leading something. You know, it doesn't sound like,
oh yeah, look at it. We gotta take this serious. This
is a serious song. It doesn't sound serious. It doesn't sound bad,
but it doesn't sound serious to sing a serious note to us separate clowns from
it? Like, how do you even do? Like how do you do
that? Like, I really, I can't. I can't do it,
can't do it. All your knowledge of it is involving clowns. You can't
do it. You're no, But that's what I'm saying. It's like seventy
seventy's like, oh, it sounds good if you separate class from it.
It's like, how do you do that? That's impossible. I mean it's
like it's like, oh man, what it sounds really good if you separate
the guitar from it. It's like how yeah, what what do you mean?
I mean, yeah, you can't at this point, because yeah,
I literally just found that today, the day of the fifth of the twenty
ninth of March twenty twenty twenty four is when I found out the purpose of
this song. So my entire life, my my thirty six years of life.
I thought this was literally a circus song. And uh I, which
is I remember when the clown World meme or whatever started propping up and people
started using that song a lot, and there's a there's a version on YouTube
that has tens of millions of views, and I just assumed that's the original
song, not a fucking marching band type of vibe. So this is fucking
hilarious to me. They're like, oh, how come, I'm surprised no
one ever mentioned this to me before this? All right, fair enough?
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I learned that I found
I think I think it was probably I was probably scrolling on TikTok and they
caught my attention. It was one of the few things that it's like,
damn, this is such a one, Like, noom, did you know
that clown? I think are eating puppies? Also look at this, Yeah,
well they do eat dogs. I've seen. I've watched I've seen a
clown eat a dog before. Like that's not like a like at least twice
the fuck a Dolph until it popped. But like, damn, yeah it
was SeaWorld, the SeaWorld. At SeaWorld, they do have that clown and
they let loose he's in fact on the water way longer than humans should be
able to. Like it's crazy, like he's under there longer than the whales.
Art's wild, you know how, Like you know I've been doing like
we we've been doing all that gay ship, the gay cover ship and all
this stuff. Uh so in I don't know, middle school or something,
system of a down's popping and we were like it was basically one of those
things, was like, well, what how about Semen of a Clown?
And it became like a like somebody drew like a my friend drew like a
really good picture because he's like a really good artist. So then there's just
a clown holding Seamen in his hand, and that was like the cover art
of the band Semen a clown like the jar of it or like just it
was just dripping in his hand. He's just holding it in his hand and
it was dripping out of his hand like he just busted in his hand like
he was he was fucking edging for a while. He was probably edging like
all day and then he just busting his hand and it was just his hand,
which I could see a clown doing. That's fucking great, busting into
The busting into the palm of your hand is such vile fucking it's so primitive
feeling. It's primitive feeling. I don't know if I like, there's so
many steps behind what a human should be. I don't think I've ever came
in my hand before, and I've never done that come in my hand before.
There's no way that definitely come my hand before. You've wait, Cake
said, hold on, wait, hold on. I'm definitely really like,
I've definitely beat my deck and like, and then you just came and it
got on my hand. I was like, it was like it was the
holding your hand out, oh no, like, can I have some more,
sir? And it comes falls in my bombs. No, I've never
done that. You were doing Oliver twisted, beating off you're doing it.
I somehow was playing both roles all the fucking Constable and Oliver twists roll yeah,
yeah, oh man, and PLoP in my own hands. There you
go. There you got so on the day that we're recording, on the
day that we're recording this, on the day that we're recording this, there
is no real news Tomorrow, which is going to be Thursday, there will
be like a state of Place is probably gonna be a bunch of new games
and stuff they're talking about. Yeah, I'm not even gonna be able to
cover around Sacred because they announced it today for tomorrow and I have a doctor's
appointment tomorrow, So like, okay, cool, thanks. I love it
when they do that. It's really really epic and cool. But so maybe
we'll we'll probably talk about that next episode. But I forgot to mention at
the top of the show. Although I guess we're only sixteen minutes and so
it's not that big of a deal. Next the upload schedule for main episodes
will be impeded slightly. We're going to there's one episode that's going to be
missing because Derek is going to be officially moving. He's going to be transporting
all of his belongings. And Derek edits the show, so and he has
access to all the back end stuff. So like that's kind of like our
he's kind of like our Achilles Heel in that he's very important. So Friday's
episode is not going to be recorded. We're going to pick things up back
on Monday. There will still be extra amas and stuff. I'll probably even
do a solo one just to make up for extra stuff. But I do
want to make that clear before and we'll there'll be a post on the Patreon
talking about all this too, But I just want everybody to be aware of
that so they're not confused about, like where's everything. We're in the motions
of getting things set up over here. I've made some purchases for the office
already that should be arriving in the next two days or something. I'm gonna
build a space up as we figure that. As we figure that process out,
though, give us your feedback, because we are going to be fucking
We're gonna be fucking with stuff, We're gonna be changing stuff, we're gonna
be fucking with the setup and all that nonsense. So feel free to let
us know. Patroon dot com, slash a snark tank, all that all
that jazz, snark Tank dot shop for merchandise. Get yourself a nice little
little gay shirt so you can get bullied. H Yeah, I wonder,
I wonder how many people have worn that scumbag shirt and just completely bewildered people
with it. That's my face is that I love that along with that guy,
I look like I look like I have like severe special needs in that
image. Brow. The thing about that picture though, is that, like
I love that picture because it doesn't look like you exactly. That's why it's
so fucking wild. It looks like someone attempting to draw me from memory that
heard about me. Not all right, Yeah, I guess I could do
it. Yeah, so that's all this guy a little loopy. Oh by
the way, people, uh, if you uh, if you could,
because a lot of you have been tagging, which is awesome, but also
like say on Twitter or Instagram wherever, uh send a senator ship because I
want to at some point, I wanna, I wanna collage this ship.
I wanna I want to display you beautiful people and and kind of show everybody,
uh, you know, do some proper do some proper promos for our
shop, things that you know, things that businesses are supposed to do that
we we just we just don't do. And uh yeah it would be It
would be really cool. And then you guys can see your ugly ass faces
on some post or something. But yeah, we would, we would like
real fans with them. Because I thought about just like I thought about like
ordering like a bunch of them and then just like modeling them. It's like,
yeah, I don't know, it feels I guess, I guess maybe
that's cool, but like, uh, it feels there's something out of that
feels very strange. But yeah, so uh do all that there was something,
Oh my god, there was something I wanted to Oh god, damn
that reminded me of something and then I lost it. Damn it. I
hate it when it happens. I feel like we're doing senile immediately. I
did that last time, it's gone. I got for completely got what I
was gonna do. I was upset, and I just went to bed because
you just you do feel like you're going crazy. You feel like you're I'm
too young to be. It's really disheartening. It's it. It's really disheartening
how flawed the brain is and knowing that, like we're just kind of stuck
within it. Like I really don't like like you, like you really you
have every single memory that you've ever accumulated, Like you have it, like
it's there, you just can't access it whenever you want them. And then
you grab some for the day and you take those with you, but usually
grab the ones you use the most, and the other ones you just leave
in there, so like they're all in here, but you gotta like catching
fish. It's like you probably not going to catch the right one. Sometimes
I really terrible. Yeah, we gotta start taking that Joe Rogan stuff like
Alpha something or brain ship or oh yeah, we gotta take alpha brain.
We gotta make sure we gotta make alpha brain. We gotta make sure we
take our brain supplements. Yeah, that's what's missed, so that way we
don't uh, that's what's missing. We gotta take some imectin. I've been
hearing really glowing reviews about that. Yeah. Yeah, we'll help with my
worms too, because I do have worms. I have a worm issue.
I don't know if you guys. I don't know if you guys have a
worm issue. But like every time I wake up, I if I wake
up in the middle of the night, I will I will sometimes catch them,
like like wiggling around in my bed. H do you ever you ever
have this issue? Kingson? No, when I wake up, I'm full
of I'm covered in sweat, coming pissed, so nothing ever, it's nothing
near me. It's just my sweat coming piss. I buy a new bed
every other day. You don't have a worm problem. Can you can you
imagine moving Derek was just looking for places. Derek was just looking for places,
and he was talking. He talked like last one of the one of
the last episodes about like walking into an apartment and they just didn't even bother
to hide the roach problem. How would you feel if like you walked into
an apartment you were they were selling this to you and it had a worm
problem and you could see you could see the worms coming up from the from
the floor, from like the lamined flooring or like theo like the regular earthwors
digging their way up through Are we talking about like we're just like normal,
just norm. I mean they're not regular. They're not regular if they're eating
through carpet to pop up in your hat. But for all purposes, yes,
I mean I think it's it's not as bad as you can hear them
coming up and they're banding the floorboards. You're like, you hear they're bending
the floorboards a little like what is doing that? He got he got worms?
Sorry? Man, I mean obviously you don't take the place. It's
not to me, it's not as disgusting as roaches. But you're still not
taking a worm, And what if it's like fourteen dollars a month, what
is it fourteen dollars a month, but there's a lot of worms. Fourteen
dollars a month. I take it because I would just use the rent that
I was going to pay for a normal apartment to just have them all the
worms exterminated, if well, as long as they can be ext what if
they exterminate the worms. What if they exterminate the worm and then it doubles
the amount of worms? Like You're like, I got it, they got
them, and then you come back the next day and the worm problem has
gotten the word. Yeah, like there you can't even see your floor anymore.
It's just it's just worms. It's like the floor just looks like it's
it's just moving. It looks it looks like a looks like a tongue,
looks like a fucking tongue. It's just a bunch of pink on the floor.
You're like, hmm, what was the last time? When was the
last time, earnestly that you saw a worm? I saw I see worms
every time it rains over here, because we're like there's like grass. Yeah.
Sometimes when I was lasting Cali, Yeah, but like but like up
like up close. I mean they picked one up and you put it in
your hand and like scared it it or something. What do you mean up
close? Yeah, exactly, Like it's like like like you got up like
super close to it and just watched it worm around. I never do that.
I've never never been fascinated with water worm like that because I'm not a
fucking I'm not a beast. That's why crazy. I don't do that.
I don't believe that at all. They're they're boring because we were adults and
they're worms. But like when you're when you're a kid, you're fascinated by
that stuff. I remember like some kid. I remember this kid in our
school. I was his name Dakota. No, it wasn't Dakota. It
was somebody else, somebody I was in like third grade I think, and
I remember sitting in the cafeteria and he was like, look, look a
worm. It's like what he picked it up, he dropped it on my
fucking food, and I was like, you're an asshole. But then also
like I was transfixed by it. I was like staring at I was like,
what the fuck is this? Because I think I had ever seen,
Like I think I've ever seen or registered a worm before. I just knew
what they were from like cartoons and like fucking I don't know the game.
I definitely eating worms before. I didn't when I was very small. I
didn't know regular worms and gummy worm. Fuck crazy kid, you're that kid
for it. Okay, first of all, for insinuating that I'm insane for
simply looking at a worm as somebody who was eating them before. It is
so agreed. Because I read them. I realized I was a beast for
doing it, and then I became a human again. Now you don't have
to realize you're a beast. You just know that intrinsically when you're picking up
a worm and about to eat it. You know before that that you're a
bet when you're little. When you're little, and I've had gummy worms,
and I didn't know that there was a difference. I thought you could eat
worms. That's so crazy, that's like that is that is It's just I
didn't know there was a difference. I was literal, There's no way this
is real. It's still dumb, don't get me wrong, because other kids
don't do it. It's a dumb thing. If you're old enough. Defending
the stupidness to eat gummy worms means you have teeth, right, you have
teeth to eat chewing them because you probably uh you probably possibly just trying to
swallow them without fucking chewing them. So I have teeth, which means you're
old enough to know better, like four or five, Yeah, you should
know better. The worm moves and the gummy worm it was so stupid.
God. Also, I'm not defending. I'm not defending. It's not your
defend again, it's the indignancy that you showed when I just simply mentioned because
you're under you're under the microscope, not under the microscope. I'm taking my
hits, but you're you gotta take yours. See, there's there is no
comparison between looking at and you were like gotting to go through your hands.
You're like, well, I like these, and I was I would have
walked up to your table, took it off your hand and ate it.
Well, I didn't pick it up. I was just like looking at it,
like like I remember like staring at like just I just remember being a
kid like staring at bugs, dude, just like I remember there was like
this big ant hell like outside of our school. That was like I remember
just saying, it's like, what the fuck, that's a man, what
the what the fuck? What the fuck? I was like fascinated by it.
I hated them, but exactly once because you've seen it. Once you've
seen it, you're like, all right, Like caterpillars, I like how
they got to the top of things and like roared, Yeah, we have
to, we have to go to They're like go to the top of flowers
and like I'm like, why they why do they do that? Why do
they all do that? We had fuzzy I love that. Fuzzy black ones.
The fuzzy black caterpillars are awesome. Those are one bug that I would
funk with, like because they're just they look like they look like a like
caterpillars in general, they're interesting looking. Yeah, yeah, they're like they're
like lumpy worm centipedes, but they're not as gross as either. Things that
its components of is like, I respect you become a butterfly. Butterflies are
kind of beautiful. I respect, I don't care. I don't really care
that it becomes a butterfly. Like that's like I actually think, I actually
think butterflies are more disgusting than caterpillars are. But really, yeah, I
mean from a close up. Yeah, I think if you get close up
to a caterpillar, it'scheuter than a butterflies, you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's true. But now I think they're just a SpongeBob thing,
bro, Like, who's like, butterflies hardly stay still. Usually people see
them flying around. Who the fuck was like actually observing them, That's what
I'm saying. But I feel like that's just a fucking I've definitely that's like
a SpongeBob bit that like made you think that, No, it's not a
SpongeBob thing. Probably is a well, no, I just don't want to
flying. You don't know. I don't know anymore. I don't know,
really, I don't know, to be honest, but I know I don't
like I don't like flying insects, like I don't. I really, I
don't like wings. I don't. There that is so beautiful they got they
got great wings. I see so many beautiful butterflies, man, I've seen
Like I went to the Seattle that like Rainfores Cafe, Yeah, and like
I walked in there and the butterfly tried to they were they're too quick,
They're too They're not too quick, they're too tiny and quick. They're commentary
of the two, or like I'm just like jumping on a beach and I'm
like, I can't get any of my dick is hard. They're like one
of my game mods and you're just trying to the the idea, the idea
of kicks it either at like the Bronx Zoo or the or the Botanical Garden
and the butterfly exhibit, the Big Butterfly greenhouse, naked with a fucking erection,
hopping around like a fucking King Kong trying a butterfly. Frustratingly, I
can't handle me. My hands on the ground and the grabb and climbing up,
So what the going on? You're slamming your hands, You're you're slamming
your hands on it. You're jumping up and slamming your hands on the ground,
but like they're delayed. It's like one hand clearly goes first and then
the other one's just just really like like I'm way too I'm way too ad
child. I'm like I'm like at a point where like I just passed the
peak of human agility. So they're just like he's moving around here a little
too quick, and he's climbing too fast. You hear over over the in
here like we we we've got cuncerent and butter throgs. Butter over. Remember
he is bulletproof. Is no point, no point he using guns. Trying
to calm him down with words and honey, bring chicken and check she's chicken
rice from who like that? Bonus has to go down a little bit.
Rice. Are there mixed vegetables? Yes? Oh, I forgot the mixed
vegetables and then you run the mix is just corn mix? You know that
scene in in fucking uh never mind? I think I don't know, man,
that's that's a really upsetting. No. But butterflies are beautiful, man,
I feel like they're such pretty They're pretty little animals. I love that
that that uh that ribbon at the end of that. Yeah. No,
but butterflies, butterflies beautiful like like you were just just he just turned back
into the now you just I think I think butterflies are beautiful. Is a
little bit more like I don't know, like their wings are beautiful. I
mean, the more the more literal thing is, yes, butterflies have beautiful
wings, that is the more literal thing to say beautiful, But they are
something because their wings they're coating something because like if you look at all buzzs
creepy, like they're all creepy. I really don't like the fuzzy black caterpillars.
Actually I'm looking at I'm looking at caterpillars on the interne right now,
and like, honestly, the fuzzy black ones kind of freak me out.
They look like beards, I guess, probably because they look like like like
almost like a black man's hair. I think, I think, I like,
I like like like a beard or pubes or something like. It's just
I like it. They look like, uh, I I don't like.
I don't like that. I can't quite tell. Although, to be fair,
like I don't know what are those big ass the like well, well
they're not always big, I guess, but like the really fuzzy moths that've
seen a moth that shit creeps me. It's like super fucking fuzzy and like,
oh, really, I don't like moths. Why would you why?
They're literally they're cuterer than butterflies. No, they're not. They eat my
clothes. The beauty of a butterfly comes from it's the beautiful patterns on their
wings. Moss patterns are usually like very like draw colors, like they're like
dress like not as pretty, like are like very bright colored wings, but
they're so fucking majestic. What only math are you seeing? Do you know
what a moth? Do you not know what moth looks like? Moths are
not really they're like I'm not just like wait, wait, hold on,
hot, let me let me make sure I'm not talking about like the moths
back where we're from Kingston, the ones that are just fucking bugs. I'm
talking about the ones that look like fucking the dragon from fucking never ending story.
And you're like, what the how is this real? Real? There's
a handful of cool Yeah, there's a handful of moths sellow cool as ship.
Here here I'll put I'll put also the chat so you know what I'm
talking about. Here you go the fuzzy ones are I think I put one
in the chat so that looks that looks like like it's not like the fences
looking but they're real. That looks like a destiny thing, you know what
I mean? Like that it looks like a like a fucking thing you would
see like in the in a fucking space video game. Yeah, like there's
a beautiful I think. I really think if you see them in motion and
you see them move, you'll change because they move like mammals. It's really
fucking weird. The way they move is like the way that fucking cats and
dogs move. It's fucking strange. Like they'll they'll like wipe their faces and
stuff, and it's like, yo, this is bizarre seeing a fucking tiny,
tiny, tiny tiny bug acting like don't fucking flies do that? Like
disgusting. They're like fucking ship like and it's like right, but they're not
fuzzy, so it's like gross. Flies. Flies there the most diss like
I know, but like that's the thing. It's like it literally is the
man you think flies are the most disgusting. I just just because of because
of what the what they do they love. Like like if a fly lands
on you, you probably have every fucking like bacteria on you, and that
little people spect because all of the disgusting ship they land on. I was
just like, this thing get away from you. Aren't they the cleanest animal?
Though? Yeah, that's clean as a dog's mouth. So the freak
say that to me, some freak that I remember hearing that once. I
remember, just like flies actually the cleanest. They're actually the cleanest animal because
they fucking they they exist to clean. And it's like that's not how that
works at all. It's like that's not that's not how anything works. But
they're not clean, not even how soap works. Like are you clean exactly?
You should have opened slapped him in the mouth. You should have open
palms slapped him in the mouth. I don't think flies are the grossest insects.
And there's literally dung beatles worse than probably, Like there's just a bundance
of them. Whenever there's death around, they just they pretty they fucking party
when something dies. Man, it's disgusting. It's like like you just a
car, you see a carcass, and then the fly girl is having a
great time and I'm like, dude, you're dancing on death. It's yeah,
they're fucking eggs dancing. But yeah, you know, I think I
just really hate insects, like I really, I really don't. Yeah,
I don't f it insects at all. I think there's a beatle related,
like beetle related. I like look cool, like like a Scarab. I
used to be obsessed with scarabs when like old Egyptian ship like and then uh,
and then I got a Then when I was I got older and I'm
like, wait a minute, these guys are subsard. Fuck. I don't
care about these niggas anymore. I don't care about these fucking North African these
motherfuckers. Yeah. I was like when I was younger, it was like,
oh, they aren't they are aren't they aren't, like because Egypt is
fucking like that is that is you know the uh you know, not some
of them are. Some of them, of course some of them are,
but like it would be you know, but you know what I mean,
like say, if you know the North I don't think they were by that
moment. No, I don't like it was a thing that like that they
were anymore. That was what that was what I was at least taught back
in the day because I wasn't learning like actual history. It was just you
know, biblical ship or whatever. And you're like, oh, that's cool.
And then I'm like I saw Prince of Egypt and I'm like, hmm,
there are people and them niggas don't look like me. What is this
a lot of like this? Well, I mean, I mean the Egyptians
were obviously the egypt The Egyptians were obviously white people. Yeah, there was
just like it was like John Smith. It's uh. They changed the names
later to not be disrespectful because it was so crazy that they went there.
Ye clear. Patrick's actual original name was Cleatus, but they changed Les Patria.
The idea of Europeans going there, old Europeans going there, being like,
this is a really impressive thing. Aliens have done this. They saw
broad nosing. They were like, destroy it. I think that is crazy.
They're like destroy it, destroy destroy it all this, destroy it like
that see the thing about Okay, so here's here's here's the thing that I'm
I'm experienced. So I have I have friends. I have a friend whose
friend just traveled across the country yea, and happened to stop out at Mount
Rushmore. By the way, they happened to stop at Mount Rushmore, they
took a picture. It's fucking tiny, man, It's tiny, dude.
And now I'm like, I'm really like, how big is this thing?
Really? Is? The sphinx Like twenty feet wide. I have no fucking
clue. The sphinges, particularly, those are particularly big. The spings and
the pyramids are particularly the pyramids are definitely fucking big. Granted you've seen,
you've seen buildings bigger than them. You're from New York, you've bigger building
of course, of course, of course, but like, yeah, I
mean the pyramid is, but it was gonna be fucked up. The pyramid
I expect to be big. But also like it's not. I don't know
that. I think people really overstate the like it just it's blocks in a
triangle, like I really don't, I don't whatever, Like it's it's not
really that impressive. It was hard to be. It's hard to build.
It's it would still not be easy easy to build now, it was hard
to build the way that I can build. I could build the pyramid out
of Popeye's boxes. Chris, Chris, you couldn't build a fire with the
utensils needed to make a fire. If you were explaining to do it,
you might not be able to do it. You're not building a fucking spas,
dude, Because people now were like it would not be very easy.
No, no, I never said hold on hold on, I never said
I cold build the sphinx. I'm not a sculptor. I don't know how
to make a face. I could build the pyramids, easy, easy,
give me thirty five forty five minutes. You know, it would take like
a few days. It would take probably like that, maybe like a week.
Mmm. Yeah, I was gonna give you six. You'd suck around
and do it too, and I'd be so mad. I'd be like,
how did you do this? Change history? Everyone? Yeah? Slept eight
hours every night. It's like I slept. I overslept most days. Yeah,
man, I was late, Like ah, man, I mean gonna
be here. I mean, you see the problem with nobody else Chris I
he has powers. He's really good at building fucking pyramids. And see what
happened. Nobody actually ever attempted to recreate them. They all they all of
them were just talking ship like God, nobody can do this. No one
actually just straight up just tried to do it. And then Chris just dead.
He's like, are you talking about Yeah? I mean there's a there's
a grand conspiracy there where. I feel like, I really feel like it's
just like, oh, no one can do it. But if somebody were
to come to the government and be like, yo, can I build a
pyramid, they'd be like, no, there's zoning laws, you can't do
that, or like there's no property to do you can't do it on somebody
else's property, Like no one's allowed to do it, so no one can
so yeah, no one's Yeah, people can't do it because no one's been
allowed to there's no room. And in fact, we did do it because
we have a fucking pyramid hotel by the way, which is way more impressive
than the fucking pyramid quite frankly, like I mean it's a fucking it's a
glass hotel. I mean, like come on, like they show show me,
show me one glass Egyptian hotel. You can't do it, So yeah,
I don't know man. And by the way, mind freak himself Chris
Angel floated above it. They had all this, yeah, all the glass
in the world at their disposal in Egypt, with all that fucking sand.
They could have believed spirits at last. They didn't make anything that pictures.
Those those pictures by the way of the pyramids, where like you could see
that was probably I think, yeah, like where you see like there's like
a street with like a bunch of with like a Denny's and it's like maybe
like four blocks away from the Pyramids and that's where like the city starts.
That that that might be one of the most disheartening images I think I've ever
seen, Like as like when I was a kid becoming an adult. That
was one of the that was one of that was one of the the Wizard
of Oz what is it curtain peel back moments where I was like, oh
man, that's so much less interesting than I initially thought it was because it's
just like the Denny's across the street from the fucking Pyramids. It's insane,
but you feel betrayal. Yeah, they always take pictures from like one angle.
It's like you never see the other side of a mount Rushmore where you
can see you never see the other side around Ruhmore. We can see their
testicles hang out from underneath their assholes. The that's amazing hung like a fucking
monster because it looks more horse like than human. Like it's crazy. It's
like, what is that? That would be so amazing if there really was
another side of that mountain and if it was actually that, I would want
to see funk about the heads. I want to go see their fucking ass,
their their fucking cocks and their asses. That's way more funny, that's
way more interesting. Somebody, actually, somebody worked on this. Someone spent
a lot of time to fucking story this ship. That's way more impressive than
some boring ass fucking heads. The curve too. Yeah, someone spent thirty
years crafting all of that with a team, team of skilled engineers. They
went, they went from their thirties into their sixties building that, and they
died. They died before it was finished. Clearly. Yeahs as often as
most people did back then. Man, it's a world out there. I
don't know what the fun we're talking about. People should move on to Ah,
yeah, shout out to dead people. Do you want to get into
the questions? Yeah, let's do it, all right, let's get into
Uh. We're we're digging in. We're digging in. Okay, we've picked
up until now, we've picked all of the what I consider to be the
best ones, and now we're going to we're going for the ones that we
missed, that we didn't get. All right, So here's here's one.
All right, here's one Damian Sawyers for and he says, would you guys
ever want to get Justin Wang on the show? I think he'd be a
great guess and would fit perfectly in the roster of guests you guys have had
so far. Yeah, for sure. I don't even sure. I guess
I've asked him before. But he's he's often busy, Like every time I
talk to him, like, yeah, I'm about to go on too.
He I'm about do some random ship myself. He's always doing some ship's researching.
He hit me up like or what Yeah, but for sure, Yeah,
well we'll definitely. That's that's that's That's not something that's like out of
the post. It's really just a matter of like anybody that you can think
of. It's really a matter of like scheduling. That's what that's is.
If you know that, I didn't know that. I thought he was way
younger, But he is young. He's like a little older than Derek.
Yeah, he's probably like either something like that. I had no clues anywhere
near close to that age at all. Like what because the ship he talks
about and share is this so fucking delinquent? Isn't? Well he has to
me it actually makes sense when you think about it, because like the stuff
that he usually talks about is from his time on the internet where he was
just a little bit older, so he knew all about all of that,
like rotten doc, Like like he he knew way more about it than like,
say, even myself. Or there's so many things that I'm like God
even though he has so much knowledge on some of the most fucked up things
imaginable. And uh, yeah that was that was that age of the internet,
right, because my brother was close. He's close on my brother's age,
and so my brother showed me some of that bullshit. But uh,
you know, the anyway, I just want to say about getting people on
the show, we start doing it in person? Uh is it just from
there on out? It would have to be if he was in the area,
right, because or if we how would we do getting somebody on the
show? I mean, I guess we could still do that because I see
people do that before. Uh remotely, Yeah, I mean it would I
would like it to be. I would like it to be in person.
But also like if we really, if we had a guess that just simply
couldn't do it, yeah, then I mean we could. We could always
just do this again, you know what I mean? Like, it's not
right. It's not really that that crazy one. There are creators l like
all the time. Bro, We're not. It's fine. But I would
generally prefer if we were doing if we were doing a show, to to
to get people in person, like whenever when if somebody is like in town,
I would I would imagine that vid Con around that time would be a
pretty busy uh, pretty busy time. We would have to stagger. We'd
have the stagger like things like that. No for sure, Yeah, like
whatever, it's not we'll do that. Yeah, all right, uh stagger
let's see uh up up up, Okay, here we go. Uh uh
okay. Currently getting some sloppy dome from Gollum, rode In says, hello,
you filthy fox. What is the gayest hobby a man can have?
I'm thinking horse riding? Let the discussion begin, ps hearing Sween read out
the credits. Maybe want to rip my eyes out my ass? God bless
you should do it. Don't talk about it. So do you push them
in first to get them closer to your ass? Or do you just reach
up in your ass? Just do it? No, not just do it?
Do it. Send us a video. We'll put it on here.
We'll make it the intro. We'll make it. Don't be afraid do it.
Man. We got you. We got to get you, get your
starting them bro. This this, this question actually made me think of something.
This this question made me think of like and it's funny because it's a
topic that I had thought up. I put it in the text chat recently
just as like an idea of like a springboard in case we ran out of
stuff to talk about. But the idea of like what is the like what
is the gayest straight thing and the straightest gay thing is kind of like the
straightest dancing is bodybuilding. Its bodybuilding. Bodybuilding is extremely gay, right right,
It's it's respect like, it's nothing wrong with it, but it is
by nature very gay. Especially Yeah, if you build a community and that's
with all these big, fucking sweaty men, it looks very gay porn.
And then the reason and it's and it's respectable even too, because everybody's doing
it just to better themselves, you know, and everyone like in a in
a in a very in a place that you would normally be around people that
are bodybuilding. Everyone is just simply there to help everybody else do better.
When you go to a gym and if you're like an overweight guy, people
are just trying to help you get your get your reps. If you know'm
like, hey, don't teach your form. People get offended easily there.
Sometimes people are like, you know, it's it's it's a vanity thing to
a degree. It is very yeah, like the body because it's not because
a lot of that muscle is pretty fucking useless. It's not it's not operational
muscle at all. It's just like I'm huge, and hey, man,
you earned it, so I I don't I don't think I feel like you
get your uh, you get your you get you you know how. There's
like everybody has a moment to gloat about something if you put in the work,
like it's to me, it's like that you put in the work.
So it's like somebody like those motherfuckers that will, oh, I beat a
souls born game without getting hit, and it's like, damn, that's insane,
Like here's your flowers or you have here's time for you to like,
motherfucker that spends hours, I'll give you. I'll give you your flowers too,
and like you did a lot to achieve that. So even if it's
not my thing, I can still appreciate it. I mean, well,
the body building thing is my thing. I just like I'm just lazy.
I'm lazy as fuck. So I do want to be Jay. Like every
person that like really boy he builds, they're they're super kind, super sweet,
but it's a vanity thing. It is a vain thing. And then
the vanity thing turns into a dysmorphia thing really fast, unfortunately for them as
well, because everyone I know that it does that shuit has very very bad
body dys morphia that like really works out, like when they get to that
hard Yeah, without having it in the first place, you can't really get
to that level. Yeah, so they get like really really bad as well.
Because like even our friend Joe, I've spoke to him about it,
Like I had like a real conversation about it with him, because Joe works
out forever and now he's not. He doesn't do it anymore for size,
he does it for functionality. He's about just having a stronger and healthier body
now because it's like because before obvious, when you're younger, it just want
to be swollen, so now he's like, I want to be as healthy
as I can be, and like that's why he doesn't. He isn't as
wide or as buff the business anymore. And it's like, dude, yeah,
it gets bad sometimes because I see my body compared to all the people
that don't even look real, and it just fucks with my mind. And
then like after a set, like after I deflate, I look in the
mirror and I feel crazy and it's fucking wild. It's like, that's gay,
that's very it's very it's very gay. Start about gay doing gay things.
Excuse me, Yeah, what's you know what you know, what's the
straightest gay thing? Oh? Dancing? I think I think being like an
oppressional dancer is the straightest gay thing, straight thing, the gayest wait because
you yeah, that works, But because I know ballerinas that will beat the
funk out of other people. They will able to pick them up and slam
them on their fucking necks, and they're like a little bit bigger than Chris
over somebody, and they would over you literally crazy. I would say a
strong niggas something that like, you know, like kind of answering that guy's
question, what just you know, seems the least masculine thing that you could
do is probably knitting because that has always just been historically like a grandma thing.
They kind of like just in like a in like society, like as
a trope. So like if you see like a grown ass man like with
the beard and ships sitting down, he's like crocheting or whatever the fuck you
like, it's just it comes off looking like look at look at this pussy.
But obviously as we go forward to society, none of that ship matters,
right, It's like people are just doing whatever. That's what wild men
do, and I feel like wild men are very masculine. Wildman knitting is
just also just a useful skill like like like that like they live on the
world, you know, like the motherfuckers that like yeah you stupid saying this,
Yeah yeah, like off the off the reservation of people, like they
knit and like crochet, like they fucking gather berries and and like mixed little
tonics. But they would fuck the most. They would fuck people out.
They would just kill them. Yeah. I was always find their pet wolf
dog like whistle two times and able to chop them up. I always find
that dynamic crazy where like oh, women belong in the kitchen women are fucking
cooking all the time and shit, right, But then like you know,
they're professional male chefs and then those survival dudes, they're all cooking all their
own food. So then it's like, how does this, how does this
come about? When like men have always cooked, you know, like you're
you're the the mess sergeants, and the people like, oh, it's all
men in the kitchen in the army and shit like that. It's not women
cooking and shit. So it was a weird thing how that even happened.
Can I make a comment about that? Can I make a weird comment about
that? Like I've always thought it was weird, right because it'd be like,
oh, women, women are naturally more passive and all that stuff like
that, right, Yeah, But then you look at like females mammals particularly
often the ones that go out there and get the shit done are the females.
They're the ones that murder things and then bring it back. The men
are the ones that are stronger and big and like they're like fight off other
dudes. But the women's go slaughter and they're like, here's the food.
You bring the food back that doesn't make sense. Animal, it's animal for
animal, I guess predatory mammals. Females hunt, yeah, yeah, not
primates, which is what we are. I feel like they all get their
food there. I feel like primating. Everybody get that food. Have no
idea. It doesn't really like a male or woman think for primates. They
just get food. Kind of well, I mean, you're not necessarily wrong,
but it's also I mean it's very like there's a lot of really hunt.
Well they're not hunting animals. What are you talking what are you talking
about? Well, they really primates. They'll kill each other, that's true.
Other monkey, the video of that monk, that chimp throwing another chimp
is one of the craziest videos. The video over the chimps slamming that other
freaking monkey into the ground like sped up right over and over and over and
over again. The skin came the skin came off of it, like its
skin was coming off the monkey because it slammed it into the floor so many
times. And whoa, I said, I swear, I swear it's a
real video. Pretend. Yeah, that's you're inventing that. Sorry, I
remember watching me like I don't. I watched it and I laughed for a
little bit and then it got not funny anymore, and I was like,
this is not funny. I don't want to kill this anymore, and I
turned it off. There are no chimps whatever, dude, Ye no warm
boss, bro, there is no I felt. That's why I almost posted
what is it? Because there's that video or not the video, there's like
some article of of Joe Biden saying there's no genocide in Gaza, and I
almost just replied. I was like quotrated with just that girl's face from Avatar
where he's like there is no war in bossing say, because like what a
fucking saying? Like it's so crazy? What a load of ship dude,
it's bro, he's sleeping at night, bro, just real quick before we
move on. I was he's sleeping at night because he can't stay awake.
No, it was just just like with what you're saying, I was like,
this is so wild. But then like him saying that, and then
I've just been upsepsially watching World War two stuff and watching the propaganda around the
war at that time, and I was like, well, I'm like,
why am I even saying It's literally exactly the same. It is like nothing
has changed at all. The propaganda. Like even when, like say,
I was just watching the firestorm that happened in Germany. I forget which city,
I can't remember off top my head right now, but like, but
people the propaganda was saying, oh, two hundred thousand people were killed,
but it was more like, you know, tens of thousands. But the
whole thing was the Americans were downplaying the fuck out of it. The the
it was like it was like, it's this, it's it's literally the same
thing where there the Churchill was like, ah fucking Churchills, like that was
all good. Nothing Really. What's that video of George Lucas where he's like
it's it's like it's like history, it rhymes, it's rhymes, it's a
history. It's it's like lyrics. It's like, did somebody bashed a chair
over his head after he said that just put him out of fucking commission so
they can Actually he didn't use the force, and he used to force to
stop it. Stop hitting me with that chair, stop it, hey,
dude. The first the triogy is pretty good, man, leave it alone.
The idea of some guy hitting gave over the head with a fucking computer
chair with like one of those with like the fucking like one of the freaking
like like a gamer chair, like a heavy duty one, and it just
goes. He goes, ow, no, no, no, it's one
hit. It's one hit. But it breaks. It breaks the entire chair,
and it's all down the chair, the chair. Every part of the
chair, with the exception of like maybe the part that someone's holding on to
hit it with, combusts into dust. Basically like it's just it's all it
might as well be fiberglass. How fine the fragments of that chair have become
and the fabric as well also bursts into into dust. It's just like,
ow, now have you hit me? I don't know? Back, slightly
slightly annoyed, slightly annoyed. He's fine, bro, there's no way he
should be awake. He doesn't even get up to do anything back. He
just looks back at him like a fucking deal man. And then he he
runs and ties the person who hit him. He ties the person who hit
him up to his car and drives real fast and drags him down the street.
And he's like, this is just like what happened with a Mussolini it's
like it's like history at rhymes. It's it's a history. At least he's
at least one hundred seventy five miles prowly. He's driving so fast, he's
so red lighting George las running around recreating famous historical assassinations and atrocities, just
just so he can say to himself as he's given. And it's like it's
like history. It rhymes. It's like it's like it's like a song or
a poem, a rhymes. He's he's dragging some guy down the street like
Mussolini, bouncing a lot of mailboxes and fucking pine trees and ship it's great,
bumping him, dumping him, boinking him in the head. He hits
a mailboxes a splatter, and he gets pulled off like a cartoon, gets
like windsow wiped off and then dragged some more. That'll teach you disrespect the
teacher, disrespect me. Yeah. He world around him zooming and he's just
a little a little h yeah. Yeah yeah. Maybe should have sold the
Disney Yeah. I love I love version of it. I love this Like
that's a good that's a good character. It's a great bird. Is he
a sociopath? Or is he just kind of really he's he's just a real
obsessed with patterns and creating them. He runs into like an American nuclear facility
and just just like completely like slaps his hands all over the keyboards, like
it's like chernobylt rhymes. It's like George. He presses everything. He presses
everything. He shouldn't. He brothers like like he knows he you guys,
guys, you guys about when he came through the wall. Was but that's
not walking though, that's not walking. That's moving yourself forward to be able
to do because the idea is like his feet. You gotta look at his
feet, right, you look at his feet. They're not right stationary where
they are. So that just swilled himself forward. Mister Lucas. Wait wait
wait wait wait wait wait, have to make it. I have to make
it rhyme. It doesn't rhyme yet. What do you mean by ride?
We're gonna die. You're gonna die, You're gonna die. Yeah, you
already dead. You don't know this, you don't know this yet, but
you're already dead. As Actually i'm as, i'm as I'm hitting these buttons.
You're dead. You're thinking you've taken too much radiation. You're already dying.
Look at that, you already dying. Oh man, you better not
have sex. You give her cancer. You already died. In two weeks,
your skin will fall off. It's fine this moment, right, aware,
the idea of so during World War Two, they were like doing tests
with like like very radio radioactive metals, right, and it's literally while they're
doing the test, right, there's this little obviously like a very dense lead
ball over it to prevent the radiation from looking out. One woman is a
woman actually just crazy. She mistakenly moved the thing a little too much for
a moment, and then two weeks later everybody died. And it was funny
because when she did it, Yeah, when she did it, the guy
those professor looked at her. He just like like you that's the most like
of course you did it. The idea that you would, you would be
in that situation where somebody did something like that, like they they unleashed,
like they pressed the button and like a valve opens that like very clearly unleashes
like strontium ninety into the room and like you're you're dead in that moment,
you know, it, and all you can really do is just glance over
at the person who did, like because what like, what are you gonna
do? What else? That is like, that's there's that. It's not
worth it's not worth getting mad at them. Just go make your peace.
That's it's like whatever, man, well you you would want to be I
got things to put an affair since you already know you're dead, like you
cycled through every step in an instant. Because it just like I would absolutely
beat that person up. I would want to, absolutely, especially if it
was a woman. I would probably be like, why why would you?
I'll be back, well, here's here, here's here's my question. It's
like, why wouldn't you knowing that, like, you're not going to get
punished for it, you're gonna die into it. What are you in jail?
I wouldn't because it's just it's no point at that moment. There's just
no point. You're gonna die. Go get your shoot in order. Like
That's what I would do. Instead of being mad at that, I'd be
like, look, call my wife, call my wife, let me talk
to her. Hey, honey, was going it was a bit uh.
George Lucas George Lucas person through the George with Lucas person through the wall,
hit all of the keys on the panel, and uh, I will I'm
going to die in two weeks. I can't see you. I'm I radiated
to my rhyme a lot. I don't know what he meant by that.
He's probably gonna do more things. I need you to get the police.
I saw him walk through metal or move through metal till it bursted, so
you know, probably worry about that some really strong cages because he's gonna keep
going. So yeah, I love you, sweetheart. Tell the kid he's
not mine. Good night. He's like a like George Lucas is like a
like a weather event to these people, like you can you can you can
like forecast him like it's just like like a like we've got a thirty percent
chances of George Lucas popping into town trying to make things rhyme. So stay
indoors, lock your windows. You know you're not gonna want to be outside
after dark, for that's for sure. And locking windows, don't play anything,
play everything Star Wars involved. You have to keep Star Wars playing the
whole night, or else he will come in your house and he'll what's up?
Can I ask you? You can answer your question? What's that?
Would would you? Would you turn yourself over to to uh Bobbity's magic if
you could be as strong as as much vegeta as as you are now,
like my scale, like you, like you as you are currently scales to
where where Vegeta ended up after? Right? Yeah? Yeah? Would you?
I don't know? Would you? Guys? I just don't know.
I wouldn't want to be my controlled, but I love the idea of like
be able to break free Bobby, Well, well that's what was it?
Was it you? That was it on? I might not have even been
on the show that we were talking about, Like Majen Seal wasn't here.
I was not here for that, do you know? So I don't think
it was on the show. I don't think it was on the show.
I think it was in person. We were hanging out. But like the
idea of like you know, Seal r I kiss from a rose, like
if he turned himself over to to to Bobbity's magic and he became maj and
Seal and he was just somebody. He was just somebody that we had to
he just had we just had to deal with him as like a force of
nature. Like it's like, oh, maj and Seal has been decided on
the coast of fucking Barbados. We're gonna have to, you know, cause
and problem. Keep people, keep people, keep our eyes open. Are
we saying this is so so Seal has always had like maniacal like tendencies and
then he finally just got his opportunity to terrorize the world. Is that what
we're saying? What's what's his wife? Shield? Was his wife Brooks Shields
right? It was Brookshields right. That was what I have no idea.
I think she's a sea lion. She was a model. It was a
model. Yay, it's my wife. This is my wife's sea lion.
It's the sealing sea lion. What that is so dumb? But it's stupid
on a level that I I almost can't even like I almost can't even find
like I'm like searching. All right, So he's he's baby, Yeah,
he's so, he's a he has dark tendencies. Imagine, see like if
it's okay, so let's say it doesn't scale to Vegeta's level, but like
he scales in a way that like from saying from default beginta too much.
Vegeta is like the scale of like what a normal person would be to like
that version of a normal person. So theoretically, like you'd be able to
probably pick up a car. You know, I don't know if you'd be
able to fly necessarily, but you'd be able to jump, like, but
people can't fly. People can't fly. He wouldn't be with that, but
you would, but you would also be that mney more. I'm gonna look
up the multiplier for probably autistic probably did this. So he's like the multiplier
bete and the proximately center. Yeah, yeah, you would. So he
can he can jump maybe like he can jump. He can jump about like
I would say, like maybe like eleven feet you know that's how high he
can jump if he's like really pushing it, like he's really giving it his
all. So he's he's he's a content, he's strong. So you get
about well, think of it like this, right, Spap and Yamu,
right, the ones that fought, but doubt I got a down and beat
the living funk out of her. He had his neck broken, like snapped
the wrong way. He just put it back. He was a regular fighter
before like on who was less than Hercule and he came back and he was
literally a monster. I could fly, could fly afterwards and should actually so
you might be able to fly, but that's scarce. A flying seal is
like no joke. See a flying is a flyingmagin seal is nothing to joke
about, that's nothing to scoff at. That is that's something that we're gonna
have to really contend with. Probably no energy blasts, because let's just keep
it realistic. But he's flying around. He's flying around, probably probably with
like a machine gun or something or some some some instrument of instrument of death
and destruction. What if you people, I think you become pretty you become
pretty strong? He collects, he flies, He flies to the fucking ocean
and picks seals up and beats people up with him. And that's his calling
card. That's like his joker fucking calling card. Is that like, how
do you know all men look at all this death and destruction, but there's
like a random seal in the middle, beaten, like damn near to death
and it's like, oh man, machen Seal has been here. We're gonna
have to We're gonna have to call President Joe Biden. And then Joe Biden
comes on the phone. He's like, what's going on, And he's like,
President Joe Biden, We've got a Machin seal attack on the Eastern Seaboard.
It's like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know
what that is. Whoo's I met? Man? I remember him from when
I was a young boy, when I played with all the Seals. He's
like, no, Joe, that's not this is not we're not talking about
the animal. There is an animal related to it, but it's not the
He's not the core problem. Uh. The core problem is not the animal.
It's the fact that the singer Seal famous for Kiss from a Rose,
uh, is now in Beautfu magical Powers. They know, they know who
Bobby Wisdom, Bobbedy, Oh Bobby Bobbedy. Oh right, what's going on?
Right, Bobby, Yeah, that's right? Read the boot right baby
Bobby boo right? Yeah, remember Tucker Tucker Tucker Carlson goes on and goes
on to show. He's like, the government doesn't want us turning our power
over to Bobbedy. Why why is the want to frame of letting us.
Why is the government so afraid of letting us surrender ourselves to Bobbity's magic.
Bobbity never heard anybody. He's just staring at for way too long. It's
your own will. He's forcing you to do anything. He tears, he
tears his face off, and it's Bobbedy. It's Bobbedy in disguise as Tucker
Carlson. Bobby has been Tucker Carlson this whole time. That would be the
mind that would be a mind rape. I'd be like, why is he
Bobbedy? I would ask it like that, why is he Bobby? What
if every time you met a Trump supporter you didn't realize it? Right?
But like, let's say you have like an altercation where they fall they fall
down, and then they scuffed themselves. They go like ah, and then
they wipe their forehead and then an M is on their forehead and then they
run away real quickly. That it would make some sense. Dude, I
don't know, man, this kind of level of power, I might,
I might do the whole Bobbedy thing. Well, here's the thing. If
if it's just like the entire time, if they had the m the entire
time, right, like, and say they were the ones that stormed the
Capitol would actually be like, well that power ain't that good? The fuck
like that that's actually not that good. They work at Unison, they are,
right, but they black security guard kept them back many some some chick
got shot in the neck and then that was that. That was over.
Like that's not good, Like they should be able to catch a bullet or
something. Hey whatever. Maybe I don't know, man I, because you'd
be thinking of how I'm just thinking. It's like vegeta is not a good
scale because it is just strong to begin with, right to really understand how
strong vegeta got. But we know that Spoppovich and Yamu got fucking wildly stronger
from that ship. That is, the scale got really strong. Whatever whatever
we got. Look, we we could we could be debating the ethics and
and and the power scaling of wash and seal to the cows come home.
Yeah, but uh, ethics, what does that phrase even mean? What
does that What does that mean? That whatever loves to spoods rode in from
the sea, that's all That's how he communicates, is that he is.
That song with different lyrics by man, I'm gonna kill you in your sleep
and fuck your son's as phil al with cream corn and my dig's gone.
We can't yeah, we can't mix these things. You need to be the
stake loves loves to spoonge loves the spoonge. Right in, he says,
Hello, JoJo's Bizarre bad bad Land, bad Land chugs and Brandaniel. Here's
a hypothetical. You're in line at a bar and the bouncer says, welcome
to the spermy spatoon. How gay are you? How do you respond?
How do you respond? I'm like, I'm so gay and I'm coming in
his face while I'm finish. I'm blast so gay, I'm so gay.
I had a bowler come for breakfast. No no, no, no,
no, jerk. It would be I'm so gay and then come coming.
I'm so gad of sperm without any seamen. Wha you go in, buddy,
that's crazy you. How did you even expect there's no semen and whatsoever?
A bowl of wiggles? WHOA? I thought you were going to say
still, I thought you were just going to say I had a bowl of
I had a bowl of come for breakfast without any milk? What the why
would you add milk to come in the burn? Why drinking? Why already
the changer already drinking? Come? Why even like why even that? So
what he's saying is that he normally has common milk. But he's like,
you know that you take the back away. This this is a tough ship
right here. Like it's not even masking the flavor study masking. This is
this is the real ship. It's almost you know, it's like it's almost
like a it's almost like a mixed it's almost like a mixed drink kind of
like it's like, wow, you take shots and you don't you don't have
a you don't have you make a cup with you know, you don't have
you know, make a cover of the mixer. You don't chase your cumb
that's crazy, that's busts his mind. He doesn't. He just straight.
But the idea of like somebody being like, hey, you go to a
bar, like, hey, what can I get you? Let me?
It's a com He just puts the cup by his dick, bust in the
fucking shot glass hands to you. He slides it down to you, little
spills on the counter, and the guy is like, awesome, awesome.
No, it's it's like it's glippery too, so like it's a bo It's
just it's just a look, Wow, that guy's really gay? Whoa this
guy super gay? Oh man? All right? Fifty shades of Gay Road,
fifty shades and fifty shades fifty shades of gay Road in this is one
that This is another one that I chose not to use for the previous episodes,
but we'll use it here since we're at the end of the month where
we're picking up all the all the stragglers. He says, uh or she
says or they say, hey, Seinfeldkramer and George. That's it. That
is well worth five dollars that that totally caught me off guard. What we
do have that we do have a big one that I think is better for
We don't have a big one that's better for an extra ammo though, because
it is it is responding to uh. It was. It's a follow up
on like something that we did in the the advice in the advice column,
which is uh. These are it's a series of episodes that we have over
at patroon dot com Slash of Stark Tank exclusive episodes over there. It's pretty
big. It's good, but like I feel like we should just read that
next time we do it. So I'm gonna I'll save this one in a
Google doc and then we'll get to that one. Let's see what what other
ones we have? Okay, ran Deep Kangaro and he says, all right,
guys, black Men's Justice League members and Black Men's Justice League contingency.
Oh by black men. Yeah, she black men, so the members?
So is it just all like racist stereotypes, like like Chinaman is one of
his is faithful, like China Man is man, So that's one of them.
Goddamn, he has the black guys. This name the N word.
The black guy is just the N words. His name that's uh ay black
man. Yeah, his name is the N word. I like this black
man and then there's the N word. But like he's like venom. Yeah,
he's like he's like the venom to Spider Man is just like a black
man and he's just a mention. He's like a mental show character. That's
crazy. That's already that that's a little bit. No, no, no,
black man would just be a black man. No you weren't. I
forgot, I forgot almost my god, how did black Man look he How
did black Man look like a mint real white face? Yes, we made
a whole character that was Kings and Kings and we're just a regular guy.
He's just a regular Kings and Kingston. Let me let me refresh your memory
here. I can't be so. So the whole thing with black Man was
that instead of Batman being afraid of bad, Oh my god, yes I
get it, and okay, I remember, yes, it was bad.
Instead of being afraid, Instead of being afraid of bats, he was afraid
of black people. And he went around disuspectfully in personality black people. Yeah,
because he thought it would strike fear into the hearts of everybody else,
like it's struck fear into him when everybody else is just kind of like that
guy is just not that guy's that guy's scary because he's clearly doing something insane
nothing because he's a black guy. What the dressing up like this? But
and so he thinks it's working, and so he doesn't drop the he doesn't
drop the bit. What woud What would Superman in this world look like?
I think it's just man and you have a freaking what you call it?
He would be probably notwitz, yeah, something like just no, no,
no, that's not not that's that's that's awful. I think like more represented
of not the atrocity, but like the what like like you know, some
arian ship or something stupid like that that has to do with the denial.
Not nothing happened, not one thing we got China man, I want the
what are you fucking are you trying to try? Written? Invisible slut com
man come man or semen man? I don't know which would be semen man,
don't know. I like the idea of Flash being the speedy spook.
Does that work? We are now we already have. We have a black
it's it's like one black guy because because that be in verse right, maybe
be inverse right, whether it be is there only one black character? Well
he's black, Yeah he's he's so, then so then me making him the
speedy funny? This is what would Flash be? Would Flash be slow mow?
He really? Flash would literally be a flasher. He would he would
run around a trench, Yeah he would he just so I did it.
I did it technically Flash. Okay, we like that flasher. We need
like a fat one, someone who's just like fat and retarded like, should
should just be fat. I got I got, I gotta, I got
idea, he'll be uh he'll be uh uh Rotundo and Rotundo. Well,
uh he'll he'll he'll have he's his superpowers. That he's so fat, that
uh, he's so fat that nobody loves him. That's his power power.
That is so fucking crazy. All right, So look, no one loves
him at all. Everybody hates him. We're just gonna do the superhero arc.
So far there's black Man, Chinaman, Invisible Slut, Rotundo, Flasher,
and possibly come Man. I don't know about that one, but yeah,
yeah man or Sergeant Blues Sergeants Blues as well. Oh man, yeah
man, sergeant Sergeants. Like he sounds like a fucking like that's funny,
right, but that sounds like he even sounds like a royalty free character within
the context of this fictional universe, Like, yeah, I think you would
even have like a sergeant anything as a part of a Justice League is so
insane. He's basically capturing, He's basically Captain Cold. You can be fucking
sergeant splooge. So that's uh, that's there. You go, just great,
amazing. Yeah, No, the idea is that you? He'd he
shoots you at a ray right, you think it's just snow, and he'd
be like, this is frozen, coum, this is slushy. Come,
I'm saving this did get in your mouth? Loves the Spooge road in and
again he also has another one, Dear ghetto Hooligans and mister white man,
sir, there are are there any nineties two thousand or early two thousands commercials
that live rent free in your head to this day? I got one,
but I have I have one from like the lake bother you guys. I
have one from the late nineties that was like it was like a commercial for
like a casino called Foxes. And I don't remember, I don't know.
I don't know where exactly it is. I think it's either Atlantic City or
like Connecticut, or if I'm not mistaken, it's it's in Connecticut. Yeah,
it's in Atlantic City for some reason. I don't know if this was
airing on Cartoon Network or what, but like I saw this commercial a lot
where it was just like this like Frank Sinatra style kind of like lounge swing
song where it's just like take a chance, make it happen bop the dough
fingers snappin, spin the wheel round and round, and it was like it
was like it's for some reason. It was like it's the weirdest. It's
like a very catchy fucking song for this casino that I've never once wanted to
go to or ever been to, or ever been curious about. But like
that song lives. It's very East Coast, by the way, there's like
no shot that was anywhere else Yorker knows that fucking commercial. It's crazy,
like that's I know all the lyrics of that song still to this day,
and it's I don't. I haven't heard it in years. Same, but
yeah, it was. That was hammered into me for sure. So there's
a commercial. I was like, put it in and zip zip sip sip
sit pull that out and munch monnmunch month. I know I know what you're
talking about. That's the cereal Straws. That's the serial Straws commercial with the
dead kid in it. So yes, so anybody curious, Okay, all
right, so hold on this. There's a video. I don't remember if
I put it on Twitter, like I know, it's like it's I see
it every now and again. Pop up where we're in the living room watching
that commercial and uh, we're arguing about whether or not that kid is dead,
and it's it's a serial Strauss commercial with the actor Cameron Boyce when he
was younger and Cameron boys did die. So like we were watching saying,
I can't remember what the fuck it was like during the pandemic. We were
watching like old, like long compilations of old commercials just for like nostalgia,
just to laugh at it. And that commercial came up and kingse it was
like that kid's dead. We were arguing about it. It's like that kid
was like and I was like, why would you assume that kid is dead?
Like it's just insane assumption. It's like, I know he's dead,
I know, I know, but you're right, You're totally right he's dead.
I know. I felt it. Yeah. For me, it's also
the credit what you call it, the college the connected for free education action,
the commercial education connection in my life, I can't there's two. Uh,
there's two major things that. So there was a Crossfire. There's a
toy called Crossfire, and it was the most dramatic commercial ever. Uh.
It was like you would shoot these little steel balls like they're like they're like
bbi's and you would shoot them at like this thing. You had to like
move them. It was it was like, I don't know, like a
bay blade almost type of thing, but not like ripping some ship or something.
It's like Shrek things that things and they're crack clashing. And the commercial
is so fucking dramatic, where like it looks like some like tournament pit thing
and the guy singing like crossfire. You get got up and nuh and then
like he's he like does some crazy like eighty scream at the end crossfire,
and you're like, there's the craziest thing ever. And you play it and
it's the most boring fucking shit ever. It's the most boring fucking I know
that commercial. I know that commercial because I've seen videos about it, but
I never watched I never watched that. I never saw that commercial on TV.
But like that, I think because I think the Angry video game NERD
did like a video about it or or something like that. Like it was
definitely like like one of those people. But that's those Those commercials are insane.
Yeah, I think there's the only other one that comes to mind of
those free credit report, the free Credit Report dot com commercials. Those those
ones are really like when they had that band doing the jingles for him.
That's supposed free credit report dot com. Baby, it's all that on my
TV. I wanted to wait, I want to get my talk about.
I was too lazy that I said. It's sitting back the fat. Yeah,
I forgot what Another lyric is my legs, My legs are sticking to
the vinyl and my posse's getting laughed at f r E. That's supposed free
It's like, why I haven't heard these songs in fucking forever, But like,
I mean, it works. I remember them. It did back and
we don't have jingles anymore. That's why. Yeah, that was That was
the resurgence of the jingle era that was always dressed for the job he wants.
So why am I dressed up black of pie read in this restaurant.
It's all because some hacker stole my identity. Now I'm in here every evening
serving chowder and Dusty should have gone to free credit credit. I remember that.
I remember that. Now, insane, there's a there's exactly what talking
about, by the way earlier with the fucking memories, just sitting in your
brain? Were you gonna say that? Yeah, there was a there's a
show called Bonanza like a Western, and uh I used to watch this.
Yeah, I used to watch the Ship out of It and Taco Bell.
They they did a a it was a grilled steak taco or something. The
commercial they were promoting it and it was just that it was to the jingle
of the of the of the intro and I was like, so I run
in a room because I don't have my horse do ride there? You know,
like there's like something grilled steak, a taco Bell. It was so
fucking like catchy and cool. And I was like, yeah, they they
don't because they don't have to do it like this anymore, right, they
don't have to. It's all lazy as fuck, But that was cool message.
And Instagram, so Instagram they tell you something pretty much three four times.
You're like, oh, I guess I want that now. Did you
guys ever see survival like insurance survival insurance commercials, because like it was there
was one that was the biggest bullshit ever because this guy his car breaks down
and then as hot ass babe comes rolling up, she's like, hey,
you need a ride's yeah, and then he goes, are you insured?
She's like yeah, He's like by survival. She's like no, and then
he goes, I can't take that ride, and then she fucks off,
and I'm like, in what fucking universe, Like, oh, I'm only
gonna get in the car that's insured by survival some bullshit. She probably has
fucking state farm, she probably has top of the you know, deeer insurance,
and she has hot movie bitch probably gonna get slammed, you know.
And then he's just like, nah, dude, I need that fucking twenty
dollars a month insurance. Yeah, nah, you fucking I want fifteen dollars
month insurance. Get the fuck out of here. It was a great But
those are the ones. Those are the ones that stick out it. I'm
sure like there's a lot more than I remember like that, because I've definitely
seen commercials, like recently, like the pop up on Twitter sometimes where I'm
like, oh, yeah, that's right, So I remember a lot of
them. But yeah, those are the ones that come to mind. Demon's
Rage Road and he says, okay, so this is another one that I
skipped. Let me tell you if this is let me, let me get
your opinion on this one. Those worth skipping on Demon's rage road. And
he says, yes, every time y'all talked about it, I go skip
skip, skip, skip skip, I mean the five dollars one, I
mean facts whatever, whatever you skip. That's what the skip buttons for,
bitch, Thank you exactly, Rod, And he says, I've been real
dumb. What the hell do I do? Uh? Be less dumb?
Yeah? You go to school, you dumb bitch. What do you mean,
Go to fucking school, Get to edgumacation, pass some SATs or whatever
the hell they do now, don't even know what they do now, Like
it's always different. It doesn't matter to me forever. Okay, Yeah,
we'll do that ship Yeah and then and then a scam? Are still dumb?
Yeah? Yeah, you should just go to like the experiment with gay
people in college? Is the only parents? Are you telling him to experiment
on? Yeah? Yeah, do medical experimental people, Billy Mole wrote in
speaking of a speaking of speaking of medical Billy Motorrod in, Okay, so
these are the these are ones from the last like two days like this is
these are the final ones, like the last ones for the month. Basically,
Billy Mole wrote in he says, hello boys, first time Patreon member.
I work as a tech in a pharmacy and have an interesting story.
A boomeranged man came in and requested a refill on his insulin. I looked
at his profile and he still had two months worth at home, so I
informed her that he had to come back in two months for a refill.
He threw a fit, stating that he was out. Then I told him
to go home and double check. He stormed out, but not before saying
you better put in a good word for me at the nearest cemetery. He
called back an hour later and apologized as he accidentally placed some of his insulin
pens next to the butter in his fridge. Do you have any story?
Do any of you have a story about ridiculous customers or clients at work?
Thank you next to the butter? So like that, anything like that?
I gotta say, like, that's usually the fridges have that little section for
the butter, right, like the one little part you open it up and
then the top, so the right is the section you put the butter in.
So he like put his pins in there. It's like, yeah,
this is this is good. I'll remember this because I used the butter every
day. It is forgot. Yeah, man, his mind is not what
it used to be. That's true. It's sad. That's actually kind of
sad. That's a little sad. Oh man. I used to work at
Albertons. I used to work at a really shitty well. I'm sure a
lot of you probably are aware of Albertons. And so I had an extremely
perverted boss who, uh, who gave all the women raises and not the
men because he was trying to like butter them up and like fuck them and
stuff. But he was like disgusting as though it didn't work. And uh,
we had a lot of insane people there, like uh, there was
this I'll this one lady, she she was so upset that she she told
she I could this. This still baffles me to this day, because she
was like, I bagged her stuff and I just put like, okay,
I put her hot dogs on the bottom of one of the bags, and
then I put the marshmallows on top, because you know, you don't want
them get smashed or whatever. It's everything's sealed, everything's good. And then
she fucking looks at me and she was like, excuse me, my hot
dogs are touching the marshmallows. And I was like, I I didn't know
what to say. I was like, I, what what do you?
What does that mean? I didn't know what that meant. I was like,
what, your hot dogs are touching the market? Like they're not they're
packaged? What do you what do you mean? Like they're I to this
day, I'm not sure what she had a problem with, because like not
exactly, Like was it the fact that one was cold? And like,
was that the thing? Like oh cold? Because to me, I always
try to put the colds with the colds, but it was just this made
sense how to do it. This was like, all right, this was
the last thing in the bag, and but she specifically singled those two things
out, and I don't know if she just has like a problem with literally
a marshmallow touching a fucking hot dog, and I I don't know. It
was one of those things where I had nothing to say, and uh,
that was that was the least I've dealt with weirder shit there. But that
was one that kind of still baffles me, Like I still I'm like,
I'm not sure what she meant by that. And I hate customer service with
all my heart. I feel like I feel like there's one time I worked
at Starbucks where like I would give some guy's chain instead of holding his hand
out to grab his change. He kept fucking up and he dropped it and
he got out the car and he started yelling at me. When he got
off the car, he saw how big I was, and its whole demeanor
change because I think he didn't understand that I was a giant and I could
probably eat him. So he's just Armenian. Dude started getting really loud at
me, and it's Glenda Armenian, so if you know, you fucking know.
But so he started getting because I was like I was giving him his
thing, and I was like, hey man, here you go. And
obviously I know how to hand people things. You know, people and and
and anything. If someone miss up handing something to you, your brain kind
of auto corrects, like hey, like, let me auto correct and get
this the right way. And he kept yelling at me, and I was
like, Bud, it's really not that serious. I'll go outside and I'll
pick up your money. I'll hand it back to you. It's like fourteen
dollars, bro, and I saw EBT card in your fucking wallet, like
chill buck. But like he kept yelling at me, and I was just
like, dude, okay whatever, and then he started he got out the
game, and I was like, dude, it's really not that big of
a deal I got you. So I gave him a free drink and he
like drove off and he came back later on in the future. He was
like, man, I'm sorry, bro, I was having a bad day.
And I was like, dude, he came back later, it's still
the fuck because you know, he came back to the story. They don't
have any pride, they don't have any honor over there. I would have
never come back to that store afterwards. But like I was just he was
like, oh, beg go, this store's dead. This store died.
Dude to me, kind of you talking about like handy change like something that
frustrates me still to this day is like and I don't know why it bothers
me so much, but it does. Every time I pay for something in
cash and they they and I need change in some way. If I need
change that's like a dollar, like any kind of like if it's if I
get changed, this paper end coins. They'll always give me the paper and
then they'll put the coins on top of it, and that frustrates me to
no end. Why I hand it to you because I just I want to,
because I want to. I don't like the idea. It's like,
all right, well then I'm gonna have to ball this whole thing up and
then shove it in my pocket. I can't really put in my wallet yet,
I've got to, Like I don't know it's it's I don't know why,
but it really fucking bothers me. I know, I know it's weird.
That's fine, I know it is, sure, but like it really
likes because I I want to be able to, like if I get my
change back, I want to be able to put it away like where it's
supposed to be immediately, Like I don't want it to be like sitting in
my pockets because I forget you in my pocket sometimes and the like, and
then I do the wash and there's like a fucked up dollar bill in there.
It's like, ah, God, damn it, or like you know
what I mean, and then hand me the coins. Wait, but like
so they want to hand you. They don't want to do two steps,
right, they just want to like hand you the stuff like because that's basically
the way that I would do it, Like you know what, I right
have the cash register or whatever. I would try to just give it to
you all at once. So it's like here, the coins are are supported
and you have all your shit now, like that's now you can't I guess
how I feel. How I feel about it. How I feel about it,
right, is that like I would rather get the coins first, because
the coins can't really go in the wallet anyway. There's no real place for
coins in a wallet. The coins are going in my pocket, but the
bills have a place in the wallet. And so if you put the coins
on top of the bill, then I then have to fucking do like a
tablecloth maneuver to get the wile to get the fucking bill out into my wallet.
And they do all this extra step, but it's just like, just
give me the coins first, dump in the pocket. That's a second.
Then give you the bill in my wallet bam. But instead you've given me
this laundry to do basically, like this is Chris. When you're given your
change, right, most humans they take it. They take the bills,
they put the the change in their pocket, they put the they put the
white they take the money, they take the dollar bills, they put it
back in the wall they paid with just usually and then they put the change
in their pocket. It's like it's that's yeah. But the thing is like
for me, it's like, I'm very I'm very I'm very I'm very cognizant
of like I don't like to waste people's time at like the at like registers
and stuff. So like if I have to take if I have to,
no, no, no. If I have to take any extra time to
separate the coins from the bill just to put it in my wallet neatly,
I won't do it. I'll shut I'll shove it all in my pocket because
I gotta get the fuck out of there. At least I gotta get the
fuck out of there so that the person behind me isn't impeded by me taking
a little bit. You just gotta walk two steps up, like I just
get I get away from them where they you know, right from the register.
I step up right where you know you gather your items, and I'm
out of the way. I'm out of the way before they need to,
you know, like I'm completely out of their way. And so you don't
spend fucking like a minute there, you spend like an extra you know,
twenty seconds maximanted Californians. The way niggas order shit out here and the way
motherfuckers interact with registers out here, fucking makes me want to hurt myself.
It's yeah, it is, It's on. It's fucking believable, bro,
It's pretty. It's like, I am not I am not an impatient person
and I am not a rude person when it comes to ordering lines at all.
I'm very much of someone that will stand there and not wait. I've
gone to banks. My grandmother watchings opened accounts as a kid, and I'm
just there. I'm just in the first street and the Bronx, just waiting
for my grandma to talk about how it's gonna affect her, fucking her fucking
her oversore counts or whatever bullshit. And I'm just sitting there. But pay
people go up to the counters and they're like, ah, let me find
my car, and I'm just like, what are you doing. You're in
a line, you prepare to pay, you pay, you leave. That's
Killing's killing. Before we went shopping that one night, Chris, we went
We went shopping that one night, and like pretty late in the evening when
you drove and the motherfuckers in the line were taking like twenty four excuse me,
twenty five minutes to just pay. Dude. I was losing it and
I was like, this is crazy. When was this? We went shopping
in the evening one time because you drove, You drove Joe's car before you
bought it from I'm pretty sure you drove it to you went to Vonds or
something like that, and it was an evening. It was like sort of
like nine or ten. We were just buying groceries. Oh I remember this,
Yeah, And the people that were paying were taking so long to pay,
and I was freaking out. I was like, does it take that
long to pay? This is dude, this is my experience everywhere I go.
Like I don't it's like this is this is that That memory doesn't stick
with me as much just because that is every That is almost every single interaction
that I have ever witnessed at a at a grocery store, at like a
register, it's always people making conversation or spending it or they're always surprised for
some reason. It's always like, oh my oh my wallet, Oh,
I should grab my while it's like, you're in fucking you're paying, you're
in line. What do you mean you're just getting your wallet now? Huh.
It's crazy. And I feel I feel like Lily had that problem for
a little bit until she started dating me and I started mentioning it. And
now she notices people take too fucking long to pay, and now she's like,
yeah, it's ridiculous, and I'm like, it's yeah, I don't
do I don't. It's and because it's like when you're in line, it
is a New York thing, probably because we're in a rush all the time.
It's a cultural different point. Yeah, like a line. When you
get in line, you're like, oh, I'm in line to pay.
I'll take out my stuff to pay, or I'll take a notice to like
I need to have my wallet right here, wallet's right here. I go
up, I load my thing. By the time they're already scanning my ship,
I'm already over by the register and my wallet open, ready to start
paying. The thing is I treat I treat cash, I treat lines at
registers. Sorry I didn't mean, oh, this is the last thing I'll
say about it. But like I treat registers almost like I treat the airport
line before the fucking before the scanner thing, where it's like I'm gonna get
everything that I need ready so that I can just fucking bit bop bam,
like you know, just get the fuck in and out of there right everything.
I'm not like fumbling over like what my number is when I put it
in the thing, or like what my code is. I've seen people typing
on that thing that that keypad for like an inordinately long time, like like
a confusingly long time, Like how are you spending five straight minutes? Like
actually I timed it at typing on the fucking t pad. What do you
do playing fucking art and rts? It's insane. I here's the thing,
here's the thing that's really I don't have very many, uh experiences like that.
I don't know if like it's bad luck for you guys, or if
I like, I'm very I'm very uh, I'm very impatient. I'm a
very impatient person for like that. So I think I I'm very good at
picking the ship because I've made mistakes every once in a while, make a
mistake. And the one thing why somebody takes a long time is that they'll
be using Wick and uh. Wick is for you know, the people that
need to get shipped for their kids, so they'll get like the government will
give them free stuff. It's designated stuff. So then they need to verify
that it's the right thing, and they got to right it. It takes.
It's a process that I've wanted to kill myself being in life. Is
it? Is it still that way? Well, it's been a long time
since I've like because I'm self checking. Maybe I don't know. The only
time I don't go in self checkout is like a Trader Joe because there isn't
one. So like every other fucking story I go to is self checkout.
So I have no idea if Wick or anything like that still exists, I
don't think. So I don't know. I literally have no app idea anymore.
Well, that's well, there it is. Then. That's kind of
the thing is is that there's a lot of places, the places that I
go through most often around here don't have self checkouts. They're they're just they
just happen to be like the most commit because there's a trade Joe's. There's
like, you know, certain convenience stores that they just don't for some reason.
They're all register and and what adds to it is there's no self checkout,
and they're all they're all understaffed. In addition to that, so there's
always there's like there's like four registers, and there's always there's only one person
working at the register who's very clearly not paid enough to care, Like I
wouldn't. I wouldn't care really either if I was being paid like what I
was being paid to work there. It's like are you kidding? So like
it's a it's a mixture of a lot of fucking problems, understaffed people not
really having proper etiquette in like lines at these places, and also just the
fact that these companies are paying these people not enough to actually care about like
what they're there. You know, It's it's a fucking it's like a Powerpuff
Girls recipe for like a just a completely terrible retail experience. Also also I'll
be I'll be, I'll be very real. It's probably be the fact that
we are so used to it moving fast that just simple by proximity of it
not movements as we are, we're perceiving it as moving even slower. That
might be a very real thing as well, where it's like it might be
like, come on, I don't even think so necessarily. I think some
of the time, but like I do think most of the time because I've
dude, there's a there's a convenience store around me that is always always understaffed,
always and there is always understaffed. Oh no, but hold on,
hold on, there's always like there's always a long ass line that takes in,
and I'm usually the person complaining the least. I'm like, I'm I'm
saying all this ship in my head where I'm like, what the fuck is
going on? Like what is wrong? Like why can't what is going on
in this world? But then other people in line are like, hey,
can we get a fucking other person on this other registry over here? I'm
giving them a New York accent. They don't have New York accents here,
they're all Armenia or something. But but like people like and and it bothers
me too, because like they're just like disrespectful to like the one employee there.
I'm just like, dude, fucking yeah, job because they've never had
a job that they've never done, that they've never had. I stand by
that you should have to work a period of time in retail because you are.
It is seeing people that have never worked the food service jobs or like
retail jobs, see the way they treat those people makes me fucking sick.
They don't deserve that. This person, you're absolutely sad because I've I've almost
snapped a few times and I would just lose my job. That's it for
being talked to like I made less than a person. I would just lose
my job. It's insane. I've seen my boss get spit on. Bro.
If someone spit on me, it is game time. I am going
to choke them. I Am going to choke them, fall on the ground
and make sure my back is to the floor so no one can get me
off of them. I've been going to try to kill them. I got
lucky doing my cashier John though only because like doing the cashier thing, it
was it almost was like a game to me, and like see how fast
I can scan shit, so like I was lightning. So nobody had any
time to complain when I was scanning shit because I was I was the fastest
by far, because they they would, they would have numbers, they would
keep track of all that ship, and I would destroy everybody because first of
all, let's be honest, even though it's not anybody's fault, people on
average are dumb and slow too, Like so even the workers and they're not
there's no there's no incentive. There's they're not incentivized to even be faster.
So there's that too. But even if they were, they're not that good
in the first place. So it's like here's somebody, like here's me.
I'm not retarded, and so it's like, all right, I can just
I know where all the scan things are, started learning everything is, so
I'm just fucking blazing and so people don't even have time to complain. Yeah,
and that's not the average experience. So it's like that's it's just it's
all fun. Man. I think that's a video that's a very video game,
that's a very video game oriented mindset too, because I feel like I
had the same thing where it's like I would try to like speed run my
job a lot, like I would try to like how fast can I like,
how fast can I scan every single thing in the in the electronics department,
and like, update the sales tickets, just just to give myself some
something to make it interesting, because otherwise it would have just been so fucking
bland and boring you'd want to kill yourself. That was Starbucks. But they
would still always find a complaint. Yeah that's the worst one, the worst
ahead of time, and they would still find a reason to complain. And
I'm like, the very what's wrong with that? What is wrong with Like
I would get there right and they do the pull right, so I do
the poll. I'd pull all the beans. I would take everything, everything
that knew that got dropped off for the for the week of sales. I
would take it all out and I would rush and I would do it real
fast, and they would be like, well, you did you scan this.
It's like, yeah, I did, well, redo that again because
now you're just doing this, And I'm like, I did it ahead of
time. It is already done. I don't need to do it again because
it's already done. I did it, though, and I'm like, you
know what, just come on their fucking face. I'm going to come at
you. When you turn your back, You're gonna turn your back and walk
off and I'm gonna come at you think that sexual assault though I can't.
You can't just be doing that. It definitely is. But you go to
Joe for that. You you got away, you you scar, you skirted
the charges, so you're run. It's really fast. It was it was
daring. You're right, no, I was just picturing fucking Kingston coming on
you. You're like kind of like real quick, kind of like you felt
something, but you know, you're like, you're not sure. You just
going back your business. Right now. We're doing the podcast, right and
I think it'd be funny if all of us are doing it and it's one
person walks by, like one person walks by in the background. I like,
one of our days, that would be funny. Who's that dude in
the back of your day? It's like, huh, who, there's no
dude in here, stupid all right, that'll be uh, that'll be that'll
be it for all all the questions. One left, but we have another
episode to do anyway, so we're just we're gonna save that one for the
next episode and then we'll uh, we'll round up one. We got one
more this month. Huh, you don't we haven't you have one more this
month. Oh well no, yeah, well well it's it's not worth it's
not it's literally just bland. It's it's it's a I I can read it,
but it would be a waste. You gotta right, listen, here's
the thing. I appreciate that you guys. I appreciate that you guys send
your stuff in. But at the same time, I don't want to incentivize
people to write in nonsense. I want to incentivize people to write in good
questions, which is why I typically don't read the nonsense once. That's the
only reason. But at the end of the month, maybe maybe it's a
no holds bar type deal. Thank you all for supporting UH patronic comp slash
of snark Tank snark Tank dot shop for all your merch needs and uh we'll
read the R twenty five dollars patrons now cam me now, uh three two
one hitting women. Uh. Vaughan of The Dead Spiro confidently showing up on
the set of RuPaul's drag Race, unaware that it's not short for dragon race.
That's so stupid, so that he's just there. He's like, what's
going on? Man, I'm ready. They're like, go that's Dragon that's
talking. That's round eyed Asian, slender Man's gay brother, slender Man's gay
brother. I like mender Man, Like, that's so fucking I thought you
might like that one. When I was when I was reading the credits for
the last episode because we had to separate him, I was like, I
specifically said, like, I think I think Derek will get a kick out
of that one. I like mend It's literally it's facilitating your joke at any
means necessary. I like that idea. This has got to make them laugh,
will good job? All right? Wearing a trench coat to terrify and
mystify uh phallic Baldwin's skeet shoot, I ain't shooting blanks, went on leave
to Thailand and hit and hit up Lingling The lady boy took a big step
for that Mahi mahi and stuck it in his back walls, carrying Chris around
the town as my pocket pussy Michel o' harris trans mask pussy, hey hole
fister by train damn hey hole fister, Hey, I like making blisters in
your booty. Ho, that's stupid turry and pussy in this life or the
next. Dick stone cold call me BBC, Austin Springsteen, I'm on fire.
Oh oh, I am gay, pooped in a sack, Call at
Poopsack, Little Wayne telling Drake to keep it. Canadian Jack, the world's
fastest MAJORI Charles Leclerk won the of the Monico Grand Prix. Let's go Comcast,
Wells, Fargo, All State, Nike, Kellogg Gehuila, Packard's,
CBS, Massacard, Dow Chemical, Macy's three M Delta Airlines, Big Meaty
stinks Andy, the man who's Andy's on now Eightier but not his Dandy,
sprinkling MSG on my dick and making him suck. Swen sounds like chills when
he reads number I was watching. It's like history rhymes h heath. That
is crazy lawyer, lawyer laurying her way out of being gay. As you
throw at me, gids. We should make fun of Sween, the same
as Caso the Immortal Jellyfish. I only fuck in fluorescent lighting, homeless transfer
who comes Kodak black getting castrated for raping erm ou e u uh. Listen
to swords drawn by Army of the Pharos and see very kin as a sample.
They're like Jedi. My tricks one of my lectures got cut by the
leading of the pixies. I once saw Sweeney do a fifty to fifty slow
handstand push ups k s my curse. There's come burning to find you.
Will you come for me, mister pants? I write fan fix of Chris
and Sween getting impregnated by by mutated muscly bunny peeps baller of the first sin
spump of futters. Sweeney, please come to Sweden. The gnome hunting season
is on right now. That sounds uh, sounds fire to hunt hunt some
nomes in Sweden. Jolly old dipshit honked or Sala Honka's wheelchair mounted by corn
he uses tick tom municate maye. I load drip and I really love honked
or Sala Honka man like, it's such a good fucking name. Uh.
Maybe I load driven flatter ciphergraph fiberglass flashlight prank. I can't believe they put
a black person in my historical fiction game Gonna Climb, But this is ridiculous.
Hunter Duba just pussy using a riot shields lily milk and asmen gold for
just one drop of piss. What pussy would make a hypothetical? Uh with
a gay little Red showed wolf, not a gray wolf. Reds are nearly
extinct. Uh, they suck. So that's literally I didn't even make a
mistake reading that. That's literally what it says. Lily's asparagus binging, pissed
dealer, you must go to the bodega system. Uh, Caucasian container,
the crier ral for gays, disgruntled Donald Trump burbing on Dom's clit a Frenchman
ate a plane, Google it and discuss She Derek on My Sweeney Till like
Chris, can you please leave a few seconds of silent audio At the end
of each podcast episode, Patron always cuts off a few seconds She Pipkin on
my pippa possum, call her Robert the way she goes downing on my junior.
That's pretty good. That's a good one. Actually, Actually, that
actually is one that follows that actually is one that follows the template here,
probably the best. That is the best one. For sure. That's the
best one I've heard. I think, Yeah, that's so tough. Okay,
Daddy, Derek, can you you can fight a wolf? I believe
in you. Insulting that, insisting that Brill is a stand up guy.
No need to insist because it's thank you for yourself evident. Uh a monkey
biting a baby's soft spot. Just the hard are star coffee ripped the digital
hook and now I'm being molested on the get on the set of Embryonic Sheldon.
This episode of Stark Tank is sponsored by Booty Talk ninety three, with
which features actual twin sisters. My son froze to death in the waste of
Ohio by going homeless to pay you Fox, and now this is a memorial
rip John transferm grumain exposing people with lactos and tongreges to ninety million rogins of
minizing radiation USh worms. Craig the Canadian, I'll have you know I am
very retarded. It's the boy Shawne d Age and forty seven in a lobster
suit, giggling and wiggling his knees like a schoolgirl waiting for warranty harding to
enter the kitchen three XO and that I've really got to make that clip.
I gotta clip that. Okay, so wait, hold on, let me
write write these things down because there's one today too that I want to I
wanted to do whatever three XO and that alien from Saints Roe four who says,
whoops after killing seven billion people, somebody that I used to know by
throat yauh. There is no cock like horsecock. Send your asshle into shock.
You need horsecock of coursecock, slurp and stroke and smoke and joking and
emoticon's going like this. Drip m h, Lord of homeless Drip. If
I were getting eaten by a bear, I would try to jack off real
quick, just to see what would happen. Boeing Boeing Battle Royale Obi won't
sha blow me. Norwegian game dev now developing pis Quest featuring Lilian Swing Kremlin
de Gremlin Lord Bartholomew, hand job inventor of anal sex. I'm gonna steal
your bones. I take sacks to the face whenever I can tune of remember
the name five percent gay, fifty percent anal pain. It doesn't work.
You gotta keep your keep your eye on the syllables. Come come, come,
come, come, come come come come. Are you ready? Shadow
man? Uh? I love cock and other things of that matter. I'm
gay, uh gaze. I don't know why that they got me for some
reason. I love cocking other things of that mad I'm gay, gay slip
not be like thrust inside, put the penis in eye waich Lay five eighty
three, a sad guy from Michigan telling the boys it's not gay to come
into our pre workout and getting and not crossing my fingers and sighing when nothing
happens. The Pippini Brothers presents massa Roschie flow. They forgot I was him,
so I hit him with the general blues third riches there. Don Donkerson
definitely applause, definitively applause, defiantly apple sauce. Trying to trip me up
with my dyslexia. It's not gonna work. I read that already last time.
Listen to my listen to hit My spot by. You're pretty, hands
down one of the best original gay songs I've ever heard. You got to
pay the trolls told to get in the boys hole Gage six, I'm smashing
that jazz Cabbage by the thirties on cap No god pp. I think I
think ESPN is just esp but for black people. It's so stupid. That
is dumb. No grammar notes for Sween stupid, it's wild, No grammar
notes for Sween. Everything you do in the pot fire, keep killing it,
Gooner Wonderland by earth Wind and come um uh ah help. Fuck She
knocked on my loose till I suffocate rfk's brainworn all carpet bomb the Gaza strip
for a quarter. John Strickland, my partner snapped the chairs off my Chris
raygu on Youtubes, then proceeded to tear my legs off in self defense Marks
eighteen eighty nine. My man too flows, My man flew too close to
the sun, totally gave me the Icarus. The First Church of Key David,
Yes, I would genocide the fuck out of some pizza. Second Church
of Key David, featuring being better than the First Church of Key David.
Pre Roz Blake eight ninety six, disastrously Big Dicks dicking down, Big Booty
Bitches Productions. FYI, it's been almost a year and Mama jf is still
missing. It's fucking crazy, crazy man Chris trying to read like Buppa Papa
Bob. Both JFK and RFK have holes in their head. Alaska oilfield trash,
Texas Stater salad, Young Sheldon shot in Times Square. Uh see Hulk
to go. My ass hair is Nikky Ziggy Jerry Seinfeld picking up his underage
girlfriend. Sorry, miss Jackson, Badly Brave Hugger, Derek duck Hunt,
the vegan necromancer, I got consent, Athery and Brogerian punter Malpus One finally
rehabilitated, back in the saddle with two functioning hands and routing out our list
as always the king of a hap Hazard. Thanks for stopping. Bye,
I'm gonna go. This has to be another uh seal, but now I'm
margin and I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna eat your brains. Oh,
kill all the children in front of me.