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Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout Podcasts for
the week of July tenth, twenty twenty

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three. I'm Catherine Heleco and I'm
here with Nicole Narratics Hello, and Terry

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Morrow. Hello. Every week we
chat about what parents are talking, complaining

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and obsessing about right now. But
this week things are changing. Nicole is

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leaving us. So this week she's
going to share some of her favorite episodes

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from our years and years, years
and years of podcasting together. Because Nicole

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and Terry had a podcast together before
we started this one, so it's for

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them. Has been over a decade, I think, right, yes,

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eleven years, so yeah, yeah, sure. So, so Nicole has

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picked out her top four, her
four favorite episodes, and we are going

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to share them this week as our
farewell to Nicole. Yeah, so tell

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us about the first one that you've
picked out. Well, this one was

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pretty easy because it's uh is the
reason why we did this podcast. It's

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because we're all moms. So but
I first I want to backtrack and say,

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you know, it was really hard
because we have over two thousand episodes.

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Each one of them you listen to
them again to pick up well,

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and I thought, okay, well, which was you know which ones were

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the funniest. Well, I truly
have enjoyed every podcast, and I think

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we've laughed, you know, in
almost like ninety nine point nine percent of

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our podcasts. So they've they've all
been I've enjoyed them all, and they've

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all been funny, and they've all
made me laugh on on some level.

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And so that's really difficult. So
then I went and I thought, okay,

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well, what which ones really kind
of signify a time or marked a

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special occasion, or you know,
was important, really important at the time.

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And so of course this one how
we became moms, and so let's

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started at all. So that's why
I chose it, and I hope you

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enjoy listening today we are talking about
how we became moms in the first place.

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Now, your guys story is different
than mine, so why doesn't one

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of you start and I'll just insert
mine in the middle for a little variety.

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Catherine, what was your birth story? Well, I was thinking about

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this because both of my children just
had birthdays. Happy birthday, Happy labor

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and aery to you. That's right. The labor anniversary was a few days

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before the birthday with um with my
and also, you know, some years

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their birthdays coincide with Eastern and obviously
some years they don't. Um, and

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I do specifically remember with my firstborn
that first of all, I was gigantic,

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like she ended up weighing nine and
a half pounds. Wow, and

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you're you're not like you You're not
like your height, um, you know

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like five two so right, so
it was a significantly out of proportion.

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Yeah. So Easter's Sunday, I
went to church and to brunch with um

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family, like I had always done. But I had very few options for

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clothing. Um, you know,
an appropriate dress for church that would fit

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overmous It's very difficult. So but
I did, I remember, I did

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wedge myself into something. Also,
I had a condition called pups. It

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stands for I believe, well never
mind what it stands for, becausiness,

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long and medical, but basically it's
like extremely itchy hives. Oh that you

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get the start that. Yeah,
if you're not uncomfortable enough here you have

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exactly I'm not already like having to
wear one of those girdle things because your

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belly is so giant and you can't
even haul around. Then and you know,

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I had stretch marks, and these
things started in the stretch marks,

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like just these big red, itchy
hives spread all over, not on my

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face, thank goodness, but pretty
much everywhere else. And there's no there's

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no cure. You can take oatmeal
baths, and you can put you can

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use hydrocortisone cream, oh my gosh, and the only other the only cure

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is to give birth and then they
generally go away. Oh wow. So

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I can remember being at my cousin's
apartment and they had this very tiny powder

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room, you know, just this
teeny tiny little half bath, and I

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was in there, like I barely
fit, and trying to coat myself with

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hydrocortisone acquiring like an entire tube to
get get it everywhere. I needed to

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go home. Man. So this
was Easter. And then the next day

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Monday, I remember I had book
clubs, so I had gone. I

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was living in New Jersey and I
I had gone into the city and on

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the bus on the way home,
I started having contractions. Gosh, so

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this is Monday. Okay, Now
when did I give birth Wednesday? Whoa,

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Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. And also after you know,

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those many many hours of labor,
um I had a C section, like

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there was oh man, he was
not coming out. Did you have an

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epidural though to get through all that? For sure? And I was spared

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even having to push because it just
wasn't happening, you know that. Yeah,

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wow, enough progress in those forty
some hours for it to progress to

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a point where I would push.
So hm. So I had a C

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section, which was fine, you
know, it was. It was not

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a big deal. Although I do
remember afterwards, probably a few days or

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even weeks later, my husband,
you know, was in the room with

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this intuition, and you know,
they put like a drape between head and

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your belly soon can't really see what's
going on. And he couldn't really see

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what was going on either, But
I still I said to him a few

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days later, like, well you
got to see a little more than I

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did, you know, Like what
what was it? Like? What was

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happening? You just said, I
don't want to talk about it, because

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you know, when you have a
C section, they have to like move

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organs out of the way, oh
man, in order to access Oh my

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god, the baby who's being stubborn
and not coming now. So so there

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you go. This is just for
the first time. Yeah, this was

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for the first one. For the
second one, I did decide I wanted

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to try to avoid having a repeat
C section, so and I did go

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into labor on my own. I
spent many many hours walking around my neighborhood

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to go into labor. Also because
at the time that I was due,

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there was a rumor, which turned
out to be true, that Johnny Depp

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was living in a house on my
word because he was filming, because he

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was filming a movie near away.
So I was like walking on street,

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catch a glimpse. But anyway,
so I did go into labor on my

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own, and my second child was
due the same day as my first child.

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I had the same dude date and
basically and then and that was my

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first child was actually born on the
due date, so I was due on

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her birthday with the second one,
and I started having contractions like right after

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midnight, so basically her birthday happened. And then as soon as the calendar

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changed to the next day, he
was like, Okay, we can go.

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But once again, you know,
labored for quite a while and then

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they decided, you know, this
will not be happening, so repeat C

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section. It was wow, you
have nice doctors, any hours of labor

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for both kids, but no actual
you know, no point for all,

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like especially for the second one.
I could have just scheduled the C section

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and yeah, oh man, oh
well, it's stories like that, Catherine

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make me glad for the way that
I became a mom. Right. It

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was traumatic at the time, but
as I look back, you know,

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not so bad really. No hives, a little little little guess or intestinal

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distress here and there, but you
know, no nobody rearranging my organs on

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an operating table, no trauma for
my husband only had to do it once,

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so you know, we really got
the two for one yay adoption.

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Who it was? It was a
more prolonged process, I guess because we

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had been you know, when we
came to terms with the fact that me

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getting pregnant just wasn't going to happen
unless we went to you know, fairly

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invasive extremes. And we just both
felt like, you know, if there

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were existing children who need parents,
we don't really want to go be doing

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that. So you know, we
thought, well, you make this decision

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to adopt, and then that's thought
that the hardest part is over, and

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now somebody's just going to drop a
kid at your doors up. But it

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turned out that there were you know, there was like a five or six

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year waiting list for infants in our
area. And then we you know,

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we'd go to Wendy's and you see
those ads for the National Adoption Center,

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and I think that's what it is
in Philadelphia, and so we said,

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well, we'll do that. We
could you know, that would be a

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good thing to do. We could
take a little older kid or you know,

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And so we went to like a
conference for that, and we filled

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out a bunch of stuff, we
had a home study done, and then

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they kept sending us. We expressed
interest in some kids, and they said

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no, they would lose funding if
they changed states, or there was always

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a reason. Just nothing was happening. And then at some point the place

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we'd gotten a home study done called
us and said we're starting a program in

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Russia and there's a little girl there
who's four and a half years old and

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has some language delays. Do you
want to go get her? And we

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said, you know, we had
planned to adopt in the US, and

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we would have liked to have done
that, but this is a child who

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needs a parent and we can get
it right now, so let's do it.

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But you know, perhaps mindful of
the sort of experience you had,

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Catherine, where you go through a
great trauma and then you have to do

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it again, we said, got
a little brother there for her, could

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we just like make this a two
for one deal. So then they suggested

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the child who eventually became our son, and we went to Russia. My

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husband had never been off the continent. He had been to Canada, but

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not to Europe. I had been
to Europe a couple of times, but

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not that part of Europe. So
it how much notice, like, how

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much preparation time did you have?
I don't really remember what we had.

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I feel like it was enough.
They may have changed the date a few

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times. We were, of course, very anxious to go do it.

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So we had to bring stuff.
I mean, in addition to bringing large

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amounts of cash to give to the
various agencies, we had to bring donations

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for the orphanage. And so I
had at that point, I had been

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working for a women's magazine. I
had quit because I was trying to get

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pregnant, and then we were trying
to figure out how to do this adoption,

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and it just I was working such
hours there as we know I do,

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and it just wasn't working. So
but I had contacts there, so

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I was able to go there and
say, hey, to the beauty editor,

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do you have like a whole bunch
of extra stuff you could just commit

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to take to Russia and so,
and we just got donations from various places

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and bought things and so we had, you know, suitcases full of donations.

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We had cash strapped to us in
those belts you put under your clothes,

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and it was it was just very
weird. It wasn't unlike any travel

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and we had. We were met
in Moscow by two adoption coordinators who are

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very sharp, spoke very good English. We felt like we were in really

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good hands. There were some stuff
we had to do in Moscow, and

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then we took a train to Petrozovotsk, which is where the orphanage was,

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and there we were delivered unto their
coordinator there, who it was a very

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new program, and we were in
a hotel for a while where we had

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a translator. Like once a day
people would just come pick us up drive

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us to the orphanage. So there
was no speaking of English pretty much.

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The entire time, and they would
just bring us to the orphanage, we

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would play with the kids, they
would take us to dinner, and then

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we would be back at the hotel. And after a while there was some

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administrative problems, so it just wore
on and on and on. We us

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be there for two weeks, and
we were there for a month, and

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you know, the kids were confused
as to why we weren't taking them away,

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and we were confused because nobody was
really telling us anything. And so

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I guess that was our labor.
And we just at one point we started

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living in the apartment of this woman
who was the coordinator, and she wasn't

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real happy we were there. I
think they hoped we would leave and then

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they could just shut this program down. But we were there and we were

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staying. And so finally all of
us and they put us in a car

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and we're in a place and signing
paperwork and I said, is this it?

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Is this a top? Did you
go through? Because everything's in Russian?

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And then they drove us back to
the place. We got the kids

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and got on a train. So
it was not waiting, I guess,

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not unlike childbirth. It was a
lot of waiting followed by rapid action,

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flurry of activity. So then did
you have to hop on a house soon

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after? Did you get on the
plane and fly home? Well, we

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had to take we had to take
this overnight train to Moscow, which you

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know, with the two kids.
I don't think my kids had ever been.

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They had rarely been outside of that
place, at least that they could

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remember. I think they were in
a car for the first time when we

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had to take them for passport pictures
while they were still at the orphanage.

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So here they're like, they're leaving
everything they've ever known. They're getting on

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a train which they've never been in. My son was free from playpen confinement

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and not so interested in sitting still. It's like, oh, okay,

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here we are in this extremely interesting
place with all sorts of stuff to touch

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and look at. But it's time
to sleep. Now, let's put you

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on a bug. It's time to
sleep. So we had to like surround

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him with people make sure he couldn't
get out, and it was a wild

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night. And then we were in
Moscow I think for a couple of days,

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staying with the mother of one of
their coordinators and getting you know,

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all the paperwork to go back to
the States, and then we got on

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a plane. Of course, these
kids have never been on a plane,

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and I'm thinking, oh, my
goodness, this little boy is never going

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to sit still for the extremely lengthy
plane flight. We're gonna be chasing him

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all. It's going to be impossible. So he gets on the plane immediate

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falls asleep and sleeps for the whole
time. On the other hand, my

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daughter, who had been pretty obedient, when it got time to put her

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coloring things away and put up the
trade table for landing, she was not

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interested in doing that. And you
know, let everybody on the plane know

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loudly, you know, screaming in
tears. It's like, honey, honey,

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I'm sympathetic. I know you have
nice things for the first time in

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your life and you want to play
with them. But this is not an

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accorfortable thing. I'm saying in English, and she's not doesn't understand English,

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and everybody on the plane is looking
daggers and es. We just adopted her.

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So and then we landed and our
friends were there, and it was

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just, oh, my gosh,
such a relief, and you know,

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to be back in the United States
and to be back home and to have

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gotten through this thing and went home
and we had a bunch of family members

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there and it was really nice,
and you know, stuff went on from

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there and I did not have stitches
to have to recover from, or you

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know, the trauma of having a
human come out of my body. We

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could just hit the ground running.
So all in all, though there were

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times when you know that are the
equivalent of some of the traumas you all

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have suffered, it was much easier
and yeah, yeah, I guess different

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different ways of being hard, but
I greatly value that experience. That was.

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And nice thing about it also was
my husband was going through the ordeal

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just as much as it was.
Yeah, he wasn't left out of that

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process. Yeah, so we were. We were in it together much more

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than you know, even the most
helpful and solicitous husband is still not having

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a human coming out of its body. So yeah, So, how how

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was it for you, Nicol?
Yeah, well, I guess I was

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the only I mean, you each
had a different scenario and and so did

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I. I I had both of
my kids naturally without any pain medication,

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so I had the full I had
the full experience which I would never recommend

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in a million years, and it
was definitely not something I wanted. Seemed

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like a good idea at the time, did it Yeah, well no,

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no, it wasn't even something I
then you did it twice? Well yeah,

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because first of all, in British
Columbia, I mean, it's socialized

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medicine. You don't get epidurals on
demand. You get it, well yeah,

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you get it when it's available and
or if you're having a C section,

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but they only have a few anesthesiologists
available in the and I okay,

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so backtrack. So my son I
was extremely sick with him. I had

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the hypermesis gravit him or I can't
remember. So I was extremely sick with

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him. I was in bed for
the first six months and on, you

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know. And at the time I
was in a very very small community.

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It was like two thousand people of
that and so the doctors there were wereal

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doctors, great doctors, but you
know, they were every time I'd go

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to the emergency room, they would
send me home telling me to like wear

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a C band, things you know, pressure points or drink maylocks or whatever

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like. You know. It was
just it was so tough because I had

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nothing, and I didn't know any
better I was I was young. I

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mean I wasn't young young, but
I was fairly youngish, and so I

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didn't really know what other options existed. And and then I, you know,

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I was two fourteen weeks overdue or
fourteen days overdue, so he was

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two weeks late and my labor was
so I ended up having him in this

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small community, in this small hospital, and we were the only patients in

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the hospital at the time, that's
how small it was. It was like

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literally the doctor, two nurses,
and then my parents and my husband's parents

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were waiting outside, and then my
brothers showed up halfway through and they were

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waiting outside, and then the secretary
who was there that night. So um,

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but it was yeah, it was
like twenty seven hours from start to

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finish, and gosh, and then
it was all like because it was such

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a small hospital and it was rural, we didn't have any I didn't have

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access to any kind of pain medication
or yeah, and so then he was

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vacuum delivered. So I don't know
if you don't know much about that,

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but it's not four steps, but
it's the same idea. Because he he

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was not wanting to join the world. So yeah, so, and as

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soon as he was born, he
was put in an ambulance and rushed to

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the nearest city and I had to
stay behind for a couple of hours until

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they could get another ambulance to me. And I would just never recommend having

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a baby in a small town,
and so I took me five years to

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think about wanting another one that was
so in dense. And then the second

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time around, I actually because I
was living in the city by that time,

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in Vancouver, and so I had
thought, Okay, I'm going to

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do it right this time. So
I hired a dula, which I absolutely

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highly recommend. She was fantastic.
And then I had told my doctor,

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you know, I want an epidural. I you know, this is how

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I want things to go down.
Blah blah blah blah blah. Right up

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the birth plan. I was also
very very sick with her, my daughter,

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very sick. But they gave me
some medication to you, so that

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helped and I was able to get
to work. And then yeah, she

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um, I had had my daughter. But the whole you know, anesthesiologist

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thing didn't work out again as as
hoped for, and so she was delivered

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naturally. We had actually laughing gas
at the time to use, and so

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they they hooked me up with some
laughing gas and uh, but my husband

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decided he wanted to try it as
well, so actually we sent a so

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for the last half of my labor
when we were in the hospital, my

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husband and I were sharing this laughing
gas, laughing and laughing and oh and

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so it was kind of you know, it was it was difficult, but

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my husband and I we just we're
laughing the whole time and joking and and

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then yeah, and then I gave
birth to her naturally, so and she

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wasn't as long. She was only
about fifteen hours or so. So yeah,

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that's my story. Still feeling feeling
pretty good about mine, Still feeling

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good about your listeners. If any
of this is giving you pause, I

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recommend adoption. Yeah. Well,
that was very exciting and I'm surprised we've

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never done that before. That's it
for today's farewell memory from Nicole. Tune

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in tomorrow for our regularly scheduled round
two for Terry and I to talk about

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TV shows, and then on Wednesday
for another memory from Nicole. We are

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always interested in what you have to
say so, drop us a comment on

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our website or Facebook page or Twitter, where you'll find us at roundabout Chat