WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:20.359 Comedy Central Podcast Bueno Majos, my name is Juan Carlos Córdoba. And before 2 00:00:20.359 --> 00:00:22.760 anyone says hi, I have a cousin in Cordoba. I' m sweating. 3 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.920 I haven' t been in my life in Cordoba. I come from 4 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:30.559 here from Madrid, from a neighborhood with a lot of crime. They say 5 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:33.560 it' s about the drug issue. It must be true. My neighborhoods 6 00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:39.119 were once police with drug dogs and they died of overdose. And the dogs 7 00:00:39.159 --> 00:00:43.520 didn' t because they ran away. There' s a rock that gets 8 00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:51.039 it houses, you know jo so they got some drugs. I don' 9 00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:54.000 t want to do demagoguery on this drug issue. No, but even if 10 00:00:54.039 --> 00:00:57.079 this is a monologue, you have to know that there are good drugs and 11 00:00:57.159 --> 00:00:59.759 drugs that save lives. They saved my life as a child. The drugs 12 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:03.079 were left on a Christmas Eve my grandmother on the open balcony, but because 13 00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:04.120 of the neighbor' s marijuana plant downstairs. I hit a shit that killed 14 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:07.400 me, you know, and my grandmother, my grandson, fell into drugs. 15 00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:17.840 No, my grandmother' s a gene She doesn' t see the 16 00:01:17.879 --> 00:01:19.439 good side of things, well, she doesn' t see the good side 17 00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.120 or the bad side. My grandmother is blind, but blind that you shit 18 00:01:22.120 --> 00:01:23.680 that Papa Monjas left the convent because she said that he didn' t see 19 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:27.799 a dick there. I mean, granny, a little blind, a little 20 00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:30.719 slutty. Grandma, uh, doesn' t blind me to one day go 21 00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:34.480 into I say Grandma' s kitchen that you' re pieging my pillow what 22 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:37.200 she does and she says I already found the croquettes too fat. You know, 23 00:01:37.959 --> 00:01:40.920 Grandma' s terrible. My grandfather' s worse. I have a 24 00:01:40.920 --> 00:01:44.840 grandfather who is the typical old grandfather of postwar senior, has no fucking idea 25 00:01:44.840 --> 00:01:49.040 of new technologies. We recently gave him the iPhone five all afternoon freaking out 26 00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:53.040 with the iPhone five, I say you' ll see playing the lights, 27 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:57.400 because he' s the typical old grandfather of war, very old who sits 28 00:01:57.439 --> 00:01:59.719 down to eat with you and only tells you three things. Or put in 29 00:01:59.719 --> 00:02:07.439 a pair of war. You needed it and the coolest I was already working 30 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:12.120 at your age, that I' m going to retire at sixty- seven 31 00:02:12.159 --> 00:02:19.960 years old, I' m going to retire at sixty- seven years old. 32 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:23.319 He' s working all the way, me, son, bitch You 33 00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:24.759 know, this is me at your age I was already working. It' 34 00:02:24.759 --> 00:02:29.599 s a very funny thing. But it is said of generation and generation when 35 00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:31.960 you have children, you will tell them, because the grandfather only says to 36 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:34.719 the father, the father, the son, the son, the grandson. 37 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:37.879 It' s said in the whole family, good less in the royal family. 38 00:02:37.960 --> 00:02:43.080 Of course, I can' t imagine Juan cart with Philip sitting here 39 00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:47.520 on his knee telling him. But Philip who was at your age, was 40 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:52.520 already working, but not me of fed but what can I do more. 41 00:02:52.560 --> 00:03:02.039 Gipo, you know, low jo,' cause it' s not bad. 42 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:07.879 Grandfather is terrible, but the king is going to the pot, because 43 00:03:07.879 --> 00:03:09.400 the king is old, not and that grandfather and all the grandparents are valued. 44 00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:12.879 My grandfather' s out of his mind or so much already. The 45 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:14.879 other one' s getting close to him. A little girl with a couch 46 00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:16.800 from the domun tells her, sir for the kids you' ll say they 47 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:19.039 don' t eat. My grandfather says they don' t eat. A 48 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:24.680 war. They needed it, I mean look and all for not giving it, 49 00:03:24.759 --> 00:03:30.280 because my grandfather is very attached. You guys, you guys were little 50 00:03:30.360 --> 00:03:36.159 kids going to school or, to the list and at recess, you were 51 00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:42.840 asking for a heis sandwich poop that you put your fingers on like this to 52 00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:44.000 mark just invented my grandfather. When the sandwich hadn' t been invented. 53 00:03:44.039 --> 00:03:51.840 Son of a bitch caught. You know, not caught, we recently had 54 00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:54.479 an accident with the highway car. We took a shit against the median. 55 00:03:54.479 --> 00:03:57.840 Instead of calling the Samur, he called a stone stand and says I just 56 00:03:57.879 --> 00:04:00.759 ate a median. You give me another one or what it tastes like. 57 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:06.960 But so fatal. My grandfather and grandmother are so terrible, but I love 58 00:04:08.039 --> 00:04:10.280 them so much. I' ve been growing up with my grandparents my whole 59 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:13.879 life. My parents spent a lot of time away from home, depending on 60 00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:16.480 the sentence the judge put in. Between one and three years I live in 61 00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:19.240 a neighborhood. Fuckin' my dad, especially my parents. My father was 62 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:23.199 a chorizo. My father, the gamblers called him the telecinct twelve times. 63 00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:28.439 It doesn' t cause cause. You know how well, uh, I 64 00:04:28.519 --> 00:04:30.279 had to steal a lot from my dad to pay for it. My mother 65 00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:31.759 ' s vice because my mother' s an alcoholic. You know, on 66 00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:34.399 the old night, my mother was wearing gummelons and putting twelve grapes on her. 67 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:38.680 I was stepping on them to make drunk wine. You know, uh, 68 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:45.959 looking at how they drink, not looking at it as a baby. 69 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.920 The fish were singing it to my watchful mother. Hey, for my mom, 70 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:51.240 we called it off. They' re melchor gaspari and valantain eye. 71 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:56.240 You tell me my grandmother your mother is a piece of bread I say my 72 00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:00.079 mother is a torreja of wine. One day I' ll go with her 73 00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:02.319 and buy a bra for her. Tells him the one from the store. 74 00:05:02.399 --> 00:05:04.199 You want it with a glass and my mother says with a free bar. 75 00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:14.639 That drunk shit. My mother has come home to me with farts to fuck 76 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:16.639 my sister to throw her out the window screaming tea picachu. I choose you 77 00:05:16.920 --> 00:05:30.360 know Filipino and my grandmother, my granddaughter has fallen into drugs. I do 78 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:33.720 now, but it' s so fatal. My parents cheat, my grandparents 79 00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:39.240 are good, and that' s why I say that my father, who 80 00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:40.839 had to dedicate himself to stealing to pay for my mother' s bike. 81 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:43.399 My father would have liked to devote himself to something else, but well, 82 00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:45.759 he had to work on Robbery. Then he' s out of politics. 83 00:05:45.839 --> 00:05:49.680 He started to stick sticks seriously. The one who didn' t get granny, 84 00:05:57.279 --> 00:05:59.160 uh the one who didn' t get to know my father was my 85 00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:04.959 sister to the model and we called the model because she was born in that 86 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:05.920 prison in Barcelona, because she wasn' t very pretty. My sister, 87 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:09.199 my ugly sister, you see her and you say she' s fallen from 88 00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:14.360 Guernica. The ugly little bitch cabe in my sister' s christening. The 89 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:16.399 flipped photographer says I saw her baptised with water, blessed with something boiling. 90 00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:24.399 Please, the first communion made her alone locked in her room. Holy shit 91 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:28.879 went under the door so she wouldn' t see her. The wine was 92 00:06:28.920 --> 00:06:40.959 drunk by my mother and when the priest came to confirm himself, son confirmed 93 00:06:41.120 --> 00:06:46.360 you are very ugly. Uh, during my sister' s pregnancy, like 94 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:49.279 my parents, they were serving sentences together for my sister' s pregnancy, 95 00:06:49.480 --> 00:06:54.000 with the little roll that I had to eat for two My mother ate my 96 00:06:54.040 --> 00:06:56.480 father' s food that she made. My father took advantage and went on 97 00:06:56.519 --> 00:07:01.920 hunger strike and got what no prisoners on hunger strike in this country, in 98 00:07:01.959 --> 00:07:14.639 all history. To die is not to laugh laughing, because it was a 99 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:16.360 mess or burial a clear shame. My father was this skinny. We dressed 100 00:07:16.360 --> 00:07:19.920 it in black, it looked like a charcoal. My father was red- 101 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:21.519 haired. We dressed him in white, he looked like a mess. That 102 00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:26.160 ' s how hard you know we went to get burned. One comes from 103 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:28.160 the Tanatori and says here you can' t smoke that leaf' s pay. 104 00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:30.519 We had to bury him. I' d say what a shame. 105 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:32.639 Now to be ashamed, when my grandfather comes, my grandfather, as he 106 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:34.839 didn' t know anything, says he passes it to your father. I 107 00:07:34.839 --> 00:07:36.959 say he hasn' t eaten for a month and says a month without having 108 00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:39.279 a war. He needed it, and I say," Look ball" 109 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:43.600 I mean, but, Grandpa, he' s dead. And he says 110 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:46.600 dead. I was already working. I mean, look, it' s 111 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:54.480 terrible. Son of a bitch, she' s, uh, well, 112 00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:58.319 she' s got to work. Now in my colleague the spoons I' 113 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:00.720 ve got a colleague spoon. Okay. It' s like Calle Tano Martínez 114 00:08:00.759 --> 00:08:07.480 de Irujo, a horse enthusiast. He' s got to work because he 115 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:09.199 says he doesn' t have to eat. I mean, it' s 116 00:08:09.319 --> 00:08:11.680 true, I mean because your mouth looks like a portal with two chairs. 117 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:18.839 The little mouse Perez owes him money and I tell you more what the lady 118 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:20.959 of the Barrio says, but what happened to your mouth and listen to the 119 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.839 horse power, ma' am, but you fell handsome and said no that 120 00:08:24.920 --> 00:08:31.319 I put it in. Everything tells me to fuck Juan Carlos Tronco. You 121 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:35.320 remember when I got things in and out of my teeth, because now my 122 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:41.200 mules get in between things. You know, he' s gonna throw a 123 00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:48.480 pig all day. Don' t bump a pig all day with the same 124 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:50.240 chandal. My colleague, the colleague, I don' t know what he 125 00:08:50.279 --> 00:08:54.679 expects from Calón to get a catalogue for Yonkis, he doesn' t have 126 00:08:54.679 --> 00:08:56.360 to put a price on it. They' re going to steal it and 127 00:08:56.399 --> 00:09:01.559 I don' t know what Ana Botella, the Mayor of Madrid, is 128 00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:03.720 waiting for to make the Olympic barracks. They give us the Olympics. You 129 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:05.879 know, if everybody' s already out there with a pussy rtera racket, 130 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:09.320 what you' re saying is that these people don' t fight for gold. 131 00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:11.960 I mean, but don' t see how they fight for money. 132 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:26.200 Sage no yes, my mother, now where I' d give it the 133 00:09:26.200 --> 00:09:28.519 gold loaf. I' m sure they' d be Olympic March. They 134 00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.320 ' d give it to a Yonkeye. You' ve seen how fast candan 135 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:35.600 Yonke with sneakers to walk around the house, you get a ride. Even 136 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:39.399 the goat is not followed by the legion that Yonky who gets to give the 137 00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:41.919 plate to me when the spoons are given me to give the sheet that I 138 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:45.159 don' t know anymore because he goes tolba bato zumbao and he starts to 139 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:46.879 give me the chaca. When you hear it, Juan Callo Chaval, he 140 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:48.240 won' t throw you, you won' t have a cigarette that I 141 00:09:48.279 --> 00:09:50.679 follow the plea, as my grandfather you know. Yeah, yeah, sure, 142 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:52.080 sure, sure, you know, but he keeps throwing your plate and 143 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:54.240 he says hey don' t have a cigarette. There' s something soto 144 00:09:54.279 --> 00:09:56.759 for a fighter. Fuck me, it' s not for me to start 145 00:09:56.799 --> 00:09:58.759 seeing if I don' t get any of it. This does not see 146 00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:01.879 nor palpolize these paalÑa nor that I am taking off, since I have 147 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:03.840 said but how much it costs you a dose and tells me twenty euros and 148 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:07.840 I say and one about two cysti me, but it is very heavy. 149 00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:16.000 I' m a supporter. I do, supporter. I am in favour 150 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:22.679 of giving money to the yonkees because if they don' t park cars they 151 00:10:22.679 --> 00:10:26.559 have ever parked the car a Yonking that does not turn away the pig, 152 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.440 that a guy who has not been able to guide himself in life, will 153 00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:31.519 not know how to guide you to embark, that is the other day. 154 00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:35.440 The other day I' ll go with my car, I' ll meet 155 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:35.879 the spoon, I' ll tell you spoons you' ve got a hole 156 00:10:35.879 --> 00:10:39.320 out there. He tells me between teeth in which you want champion, I 157 00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:43.679 mean, but it' s for the car to fool helped me to park. 158 00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:46.320 I blew up the car that didn' t park the car a Johnkee 159 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:48.360 Vale. And this is paranoid. He doesn' t even have to laugh 160 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:52.720 at us. But I think the shit that hit the Titanic was pretty much 161 00:10:52.799 --> 00:11:01.000 like that. Not that rudder was a night there, wal no, my 162 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:05.200 captain. I don' t think we can fit around, uh, we 163 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:07.960 can' t fit. He went out in Yonky Elicebert. But like I 164 00:11:07.960 --> 00:11:20.440 don' t end up champ, come on, come on, put him 165 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:24.559 in the mirrors Come on, Dale Dale, Dale, I mean, fuck 166 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:28.039 the Titanic. You know the desperate captain who told the most whore there' 167 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:31.159 s no boats for everyone here. Yes, yes, OK, of course, 168 00:11:31.480 --> 00:11:35.320 since not that I' m not in favour of it being sought in 169 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:37.480 life Okay, because it' s very bad with the crisis and you have 170 00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:39.960 to look for life as a Scot, we don' t look for it 171 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:43.480 How it is with the crisis. Hey, there' s family returning the 172 00:11:43.480 --> 00:11:50.120 children that Sister Maria stole. There' s the thing even more. But 173 00:11:50.200 --> 00:11:56.279 the worst thing isn' t that, the worst thing is that the natural 174 00:11:56.279 --> 00:12:00.960 parents are asking for the ticket, that is to say like he stole, 175 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:03.120 because if it' s Jess and Roba and I didn' t have that 176 00:12:03.159 --> 00:12:05.159 I can' t speak to you to see people don' t take care 177 00:12:05.159 --> 00:12:07.480 of their children. We' re not going to be able to support our 178 00:12:07.480 --> 00:12:11.000 children with the crisis, i e, the shoes, it' s all 179 00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:13.200 gone up with him was the shoes a basic thing. Well, my kids 180 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:16.600 have gone back to school Well, back to the barefoot. I don' 181 00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:18.960 t have Pazapates. In the end, you know what I' ve done. 182 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:22.480 As this country of tambourine has not raised anything taxes that have to do 183 00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:28.120 with bullfighting shows. All my children I' ve bought handmuffs. Everything, 184 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:31.360 the little one' s got your shit left. The major says they give 185 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:35.120 up in high school. I told you. I mean, you have to 186 00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:37.240 put up with it. It' s your first year as a teacher. 187 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:48.879 That' s where you put up with this or the an and you' 188 00:12:48.919 --> 00:12:50.639 re going out to protest us on the street because the riot control is coming. 189 00:12:50.679 --> 00:12:54.240 How are Madrid riot control? Uh, before, you ran into a 190 00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:56.759 yonkeye. You changed your sidewalk. I' ve come across an anti- 191 00:12:56.799 --> 00:13:01.399 riot and changed my wax the yonkeye and I say I' ve already passed 192 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:09.240 the thing very bad, good, good, good, good as my neighborhood. 193 00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:11.080 The police don' t go in anymore, because, like, it 194 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:11.720 ' s such a bad neighborhood. Well, the last time there was a 195 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:15.240 chase with the police in my neighborhood I was going on was the police. 196 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:20.120 You know yes. In my fucking neighborhood. There' s the party in 197 00:13:20.159 --> 00:13:22.080 my Alucinas neighborhood, there' s more Johnkey riding on the Witch' s 198 00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:26.720 train than dodging. You know the pirate ship is a pirate, you' 199 00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:31.879 re getting on a trip, you' re getting off, a fucking party 200 00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:35.000 movie. They put a guy alive once. The next day he showed up 201 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:39.519 dead. I started smoking joints at the parties in my neighborhood, of course 202 00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:43.399 because there is a lot of drugs, besides the dumbest way, because I 203 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:45.840 was going through the vervain of my neighborhood and I say look, I say 204 00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:48.000 cotton with sugar, apples with caramario. I mean, you smoke chocolate. 205 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:58.000 That looks like a laugh because we got caught by the neighborhood priest smoking joints. 206 00:13:58.039 --> 00:14:01.080 There my colleagues and we stare at the workman tells me there are smoking 207 00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:09.519 joints. People who do drugs have no goals, I say goals. I 208 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:13.120 ' m here to run. Now, Father, he tells me not to 209 00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:16.639 laugh, because if you smoke a joint, you end up injecting. Heroin, 210 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:20.480 I mean father, that' s as exaggerated as saying that if I 211 00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:31.480 become a nun, I can end up stealing children. You don' t 212 00:14:31.480 --> 00:14:33.679 tell me that' s impossible for it to happen. I say yes, 213 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:39.440 yes, of course, I mean, I can' t believe anything a 214 00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:41.559 priest tells me, I mean, I read the Bible, Saavis, I 215 00:14:41.559 --> 00:14:43.399 give him the Bible, I can' t believe anything a priest tells me. 216 00:14:43.960 --> 00:14:46.919 I' ve read the Bible and freaked out. I mean, I 217 00:14:46.200 --> 00:14:48.799 mean, the snake jo already dances so the whale Daniel and the lion and 218 00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:54.720 I say but I' m reading the Bible or picopata hair please, I 219 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.200 mean, and I' m going to believe that I' m told by 220 00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.559 a guy like that that if I smoke a joint, I can end up 221 00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:03.000 injecting heroin. I mean, if I smoke a joint, I can end 222 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:07.759 up as President of the Government, because they say the joints take your memory 223 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:09.799 away. I mean, it must be true, and it' s true 224 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:13.120 that the president of this piyfumac, because it' s that it' s 225 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:13.519 winning the selection and if you forget everything you promised. No, that' 226 00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:22.600 s not me when I' m not, when I' m cracked. 227 00:15:22.679 --> 00:15:26.759 We' re not talking about education today. But when Zapatero was in this 228 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:31.080 country and Zapatero was on TV, I was watching the TV and I thought 229 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:37.720 he smokes Zapatero, that he rules it, that he rules it, because 230 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:41.080 Zapatero had to stick some smoked in the moncloa of the good eh, but 231 00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:58.600 of the pretty one of the PSSS. Wow how handsome, what handsome? 232 00:16:00.039 --> 00:16:11.399 C There' s this thing that you brought your pickle s I get my 233 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:25.120 eyebrows pointed and everything looks good. Let' s see what we can do 234 00:16:25.159 --> 00:16:33.360 to get the shrimp in. Today Rubalcava to see a moment what happens I 235 00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:38.399 will call you Rubalcalva that I am funny. Today Rubalcava, see go here 236 00:16:38.840 --> 00:16:49.799 one thing will happen look. We' re gonna slow down to a hundred 237 00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:52.799 and ten in three months. We put it back up to one hundred and 238 00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:56.360 twenty. We' re not gonna break the dick. That joint thing, 239 00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:11.680 that joint thing? Don' t imagine, imagine. The next day he 240 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:19.920 was blushing to the Moncloa. José Luis you' re going to freak out 241 00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:32.240 that they haven' t published it in the Official Gazette. Now that you 242 00:17:32.359 --> 00:17:47.119 and the shoemaker do there stickers. That joint thing, that joint thing? 243 00:17:52.319 --> 00:17:56.200 How I' m going to want something that a politician tells me let' 244 00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:57.119 s not even tell me a priest can' t be looked at. Flip. 245 00:17:57.160 --> 00:18:00.759 On the issue of drugs, the Minister of Justice himself has said that 246 00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:03.720 drugs are illegal because they destroy homes. And that' s fine with me, 247 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.279 but I mean pussy, I mean, drugs are illegal because they destroy 248 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:07.839 in homes. So I say tobacco, alcohol and gambling, which are the 249 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:12.200 foundation of the Spanish family, or what not. Hey. And if we 250 00:18:12.279 --> 00:18:15.480 already put all three crazy things together, or you put around a table, 251 00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.599 a family smoking, sucking wikis and playing cards, the question is that it 252 00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:33.200 has broken more home on the drug or the Christmas Eve is no more. 253 00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:37.799 If that' s the criterion and we legalize everything that can destroy a home, 254 00:18:37.160 --> 00:18:40.640 everything that can break a home, we' re going to outlaw it 255 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.960 and we' re going to do it here and now, because we' 256 00:18:44.039 --> 00:18:45.119 re the sovereign people and we can do it. Okay, let' s 257 00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:47.279 just take advantage of the fact that this is a fifteen- year- old 258 00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:48.079 camp. He' ll see his hands raised, as well as the indignant. 259 00:18:48.160 --> 00:18:51.960 All of them. I see this as an anti- riot. He 260 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:56.319 ' s got a stick, eh ha ha ha ha. No, but 261 00:18:56.440 --> 00:19:03.559 we' re going to legalize everything that can break a home in your opinion, 262 00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:08.519 that has broken more homes, unemployment or drugs answer it and legalize unemployment. 263 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:15.319 Here I now vote in favour. We just outlawed unemployment. Which has 264 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:19.079 broken more homes, evictions or drugs and legalize the eviction Potos in favor, 265 00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:25.119 which has broken more homes, labor has a gay marriage or drugs. I 266 00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:30.039 ' ve caught you here, eh, for the Episcopal Conference. Abortion and 267 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:33.599 gay marriages have broken more homes than drugs and let' s legalize the Episcopal 268 00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:37.960 Conference votes in favour. Let' s keep going, let' s keep 269 00:19:37.960 --> 00:19:48.000 outlawing things. Of course we are going to outlaw everything that can destroy a 270 00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:52.039 home, hunger, wars, weapons, tobacco, gambling alcohol. My grandfather 271 00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:56.759 said everything. Everything. My strophagar grandfather is everything. Bullfights. You heard 272 00:19:56.839 --> 00:20:00.519 right. Bullfights break more homes than drugs. If you don' t believe 273 00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:04.640 me, ask the cows. But of course no one asks cows because they 274 00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:10.559 have no feelings. In fact, bullfighting is legal in this country, because 275 00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:14.079 the bull does not suffer and this you are going to freak out. The 276 00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:18.400 protaurines hold and I swear to you this is true, that the animal suffers 277 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:22.000 more during transport to the square than during the fight. I mean, I 278 00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:25.759 don' t believe it even if you bring them with Ryaneos. I mean, 279 00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:34.200 I don' t believe it, I mean I' ll give you 280 00:20:34.279 --> 00:20:37.200 an example? No, I mean, am I going to give you an 281 00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:41.720 example? I mean, I live in a country, I live in a 282 00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:45.039 country where it' s socially better to see a bleeding bull die than to 283 00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:47.160 smoke a joint, and I' m going to give you this example. 284 00:20:47.720 --> 00:20:51.279 Difame the bull from the vega. I knew what he said. Not defaming 285 00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:55.440 the bull can mean a fine of three zero euros, as well as smoking 286 00:20:55.480 --> 00:21:00.200 a joint on the public road. You know the conclusion that I get from 287 00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:12.880 this that I travel in torsillas comes out for six thousand bucks seriously And if 288 00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:17.759 we already difame the bull, we get in nine thousand. You know, 289 00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:22.240 but we' re going to continue to outlaw things that can destroy a home 290 00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:23.880 and not leave the horns that have broken more homes, adultery or drugs. 291 00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:30.200 I understand that you can' t keep your eyes shut, but the rest 292 00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:32.680 of us, I mean, don' t be hypocrites. I mean, 293 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.559 you walk into your bedroom, you see a joint in an ashtray to your 294 00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:41.200 wife, on all fours, and a black guy giving her a shoe from 295 00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:44.039 behind, and you' re gonna tell me that the first thing that comes 296 00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:56.599 out of your mouth is a joint. I mean, let' s visualize 297 00:21:56.599 --> 00:21:59.839 it. If you do me a favor, you can close your eyes that 298 00:21:59.920 --> 00:22:04.160 situation, close your eyes all right boys, enter your room The lady has 299 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:11.400 already imagined the black. Don' t imagine it. Close your eyes, 300 00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:15.119 imagine that situation, enter in your room and you see a pronunciation of your 301 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:19.680 woman on all fours is worth girls, you are the woman, you are 302 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:25.200 imagining it, boys you do not think so bad to the drug girls, 303 00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:30.839 how you are having fun eh anyway, you have felt violent no, anyway, 304 00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:33.279 you have felt violent no, because of course, how you are going 305 00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:36.920 to imagine that. How are you going to imagine your wife in four parts, 306 00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:38.440 the girls are saying. I can' t imagine that. I mean, 307 00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:41.720 I got my guy next door, lie to him, tell him you 308 00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:45.880 were thinking about something else. He does it every day, no, but 309 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:48.319 we' re going to do it in a neutral environment. This same thing 310 00:22:48.359 --> 00:22:51.799 we will imagine with third people so that it does not affect us so much, 311 00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.799 that is to close our eyes. We shut it down and now we 312 00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:56.960 imagine an ordinary guy we don' t know about anything. A very common 313 00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:02.039 man, José, seems well, I don' t know, enters a 314 00:23:02.119 --> 00:23:06.000 bedroom and sees his wife on all fours and a black man giving him a 315 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:07.759 slipper from behind. You' re imagining it. Yeah, well, now 316 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:11.799 you switch to black for a pigeon. It is Frey nine months you call 317 00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:17.160 him Jesus and we already have Christianity. You don' t think so. 318 00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:27.079 It' s no more. We already have the Bethlehem seriously, we have 319 00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:30.039 the bel monta. Because you don' t have to put on or go 320 00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:30.799 or mule anymore. I' m not going, I' m not going, 321 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 I' m not going, I' m going, I' m 322 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 323 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 324 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 325 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 326 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 327 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 328 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 329 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 330 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 331 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 332 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 333 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 334 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 335 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:30.799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 336 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:32.079 going, I' m going, I' m going. You don' 337 00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:33.039 t have to put up, I don' t have to go, I 338 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:33.039 don' t have to go, I don' t have a mule. 339 00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:36.880 Now it turns out that magician kings are Andalusians, that is, as we 340 00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:40.799 go on. So it turns out that the child the thefts Sister Mary, 341 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:44.559 St Joseph was a travelo and Mary, for Mary must be what the Pope 342 00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:47.319 smokes to write these things, because if I don' t explain it to 343 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:48.880 me you know that, in the end see them a nativity scene is going 344 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:51.599 to make a movie of Almodóvar. This man, as he keeps taking things 345 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:53.640 away, is not going to be freaking out. Approve the atheists above speaking 346 00:23:53.640 --> 00:24:10.119 the Bethlehem and we should go and legalize the Christmas Eve just because we don 347 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:12.640 ' t have to remove the Bethlehem after Christmas. To you it happens what 348 00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.160 to me that the Bethlehem is finished, that is, they took out the 349 00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:22.839 Christmases and the Bethlehem can stay there. I say on Monday and I don 350 00:24:22.839 --> 00:24:23.920 ' t say on Sunday that they don' t work day that I don 351 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:25.559 ' t work, they touch me. I don' t take it off 352 00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:29.359 either. I have the record to remove the Bethlehem. In August. I 353 00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:30.480 swear to you, I' m going to remove the Bethlehem. There was 354 00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:33.359 no longer Bethlehem, there was a St Joseph' s snack bar making a 355 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:37.359 paya for the Magi. I swear to you, the boy Jesus was already 356 00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:40.559 walking and everything, uh, if he goes to the La Virgen River, 357 00:24:40.920 --> 00:24:44.880 don' t get cocky, he cuts off your digestion. St Joseph says 358 00:24:44.920 --> 00:24:47.680 something to the child and Joseph doesn' t tell the child' s nest 359 00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:52.440 anything for three reasons. First, I' m not his father. Second, 360 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:55.880 nothing will happen to him until he' s thirty- three. And 361 00:24:56.039 --> 00:24:57.920 third, the river of silver paper takes it to the spoons a while ago. 362 00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:11.799 I mean, I don' t say anything to the child and we 363 00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:15.960 should legalize Christmas Eve precisely because I destroy homes. Jesus' first, that 364 00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:18.759 is, is not his father. Saint Joseph, that is, Jesus was 365 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:25.640 born in a broken home. Jesus because he was born twenty centuries ago comes 366 00:25:25.720 --> 00:25:27.920 out in the Bible and ends up crucified. If Jesus is born, now 367 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:36.000 the older brother comes out, bursting a door, but he was born twenty 368 00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:41.880 centuries ago and ends up crucified. And when he is crucified, he says 369 00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:45.400 above my God, my God, why have you forsaken me. If I 370 00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:49.000 am his father, if I am God, I open heaven and tell him 371 00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:53.079 that Jesus is thirty- three years old. You live with your parents. 372 00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:57.400 You' re out there all day with the cabbages that why she left you, 373 00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:02.839 because she was already working, Jesus, because I was still working. 374 00:26:04.039 --> 00:26:07.200 Thank you very much for seeing if you' d a little bit. Thank 375 00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:07.440 you very much.