1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:20,359 Comedy Central Podcast Bueno Majos, my name is Juan Carlos Córdoba. And before 2 00:00:20,359 --> 00:00:22,760 anyone says hi, I have a cousin in Cordoba. I' m sweating. 3 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,920 I haven' t been in my life in Cordoba. I come from 4 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,559 here from Madrid, from a neighborhood with a lot of crime. They say 5 00:00:30,559 --> 00:00:33,560 it' s about the drug issue. It must be true. My neighborhoods 6 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:39,119 were once police with drug dogs and they died of overdose. And the dogs 7 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,520 didn' t because they ran away. There' s a rock that gets 8 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:51,039 it houses, you know jo so they got some drugs. I don' 9 00:00:51,039 --> 00:00:54,000 t want to do demagoguery on this drug issue. No, but even if 10 00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:57,079 this is a monologue, you have to know that there are good drugs and 11 00:00:57,159 --> 00:00:59,759 drugs that save lives. They saved my life as a child. The drugs 12 00:01:00,079 --> 00:01:03,079 were left on a Christmas Eve my grandmother on the open balcony, but because 13 00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:04,120 of the neighbor' s marijuana plant downstairs. I hit a shit that killed 14 00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:07,400 me, you know, and my grandmother, my grandson, fell into drugs. 15 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:17,840 No, my grandmother' s a gene She doesn' t see the 16 00:01:17,879 --> 00:01:19,439 good side of things, well, she doesn' t see the good side 17 00:01:19,439 --> 00:01:22,120 or the bad side. My grandmother is blind, but blind that you shit 18 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,680 that Papa Monjas left the convent because she said that he didn' t see 19 00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:27,799 a dick there. I mean, granny, a little blind, a little 20 00:01:27,799 --> 00:01:30,719 slutty. Grandma, uh, doesn' t blind me to one day go 21 00:01:30,719 --> 00:01:34,480 into I say Grandma' s kitchen that you' re pieging my pillow what 22 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,200 she does and she says I already found the croquettes too fat. You know, 23 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,920 Grandma' s terrible. My grandfather' s worse. I have a 24 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,840 grandfather who is the typical old grandfather of postwar senior, has no fucking idea 25 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:49,040 of new technologies. We recently gave him the iPhone five all afternoon freaking out 26 00:01:49,079 --> 00:01:53,040 with the iPhone five, I say you' ll see playing the lights, 27 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,400 because he' s the typical old grandfather of war, very old who sits 28 00:01:57,439 --> 00:01:59,719 down to eat with you and only tells you three things. Or put in 29 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:07,439 a pair of war. You needed it and the coolest I was already working 30 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,120 at your age, that I' m going to retire at sixty- seven 31 00:02:12,159 --> 00:02:19,960 years old, I' m going to retire at sixty- seven years old. 32 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,319 He' s working all the way, me, son, bitch You 33 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,759 know, this is me at your age I was already working. It' 34 00:02:24,759 --> 00:02:29,599 s a very funny thing. But it is said of generation and generation when 35 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:31,960 you have children, you will tell them, because the grandfather only says to 36 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,719 the father, the father, the son, the son, the grandson. 37 00:02:35,039 --> 00:02:37,879 It' s said in the whole family, good less in the royal family. 38 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:43,080 Of course, I can' t imagine Juan cart with Philip sitting here 39 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,520 on his knee telling him. But Philip who was at your age, was 40 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:52,520 already working, but not me of fed but what can I do more. 41 00:02:52,560 --> 00:03:02,039 Gipo, you know, low jo,' cause it' s not bad. 42 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:07,879 Grandfather is terrible, but the king is going to the pot, because 43 00:03:07,879 --> 00:03:09,400 the king is old, not and that grandfather and all the grandparents are valued. 44 00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:12,879 My grandfather' s out of his mind or so much already. The 45 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,879 other one' s getting close to him. A little girl with a couch 46 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,800 from the domun tells her, sir for the kids you' ll say they 47 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,039 don' t eat. My grandfather says they don' t eat. A 48 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:24,680 war. They needed it, I mean look and all for not giving it, 49 00:03:24,759 --> 00:03:30,280 because my grandfather is very attached. You guys, you guys were little 50 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:36,159 kids going to school or, to the list and at recess, you were 51 00:03:36,319 --> 00:03:42,840 asking for a heis sandwich poop that you put your fingers on like this to 52 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,000 mark just invented my grandfather. When the sandwich hadn' t been invented. 53 00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:51,840 Son of a bitch caught. You know, not caught, we recently had 54 00:03:51,919 --> 00:03:54,479 an accident with the highway car. We took a shit against the median. 55 00:03:54,479 --> 00:03:57,840 Instead of calling the Samur, he called a stone stand and says I just 56 00:03:57,879 --> 00:04:00,759 ate a median. You give me another one or what it tastes like. 57 00:04:00,479 --> 00:04:06,960 But so fatal. My grandfather and grandmother are so terrible, but I love 58 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,280 them so much. I' ve been growing up with my grandparents my whole 59 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,879 life. My parents spent a lot of time away from home, depending on 60 00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:16,480 the sentence the judge put in. Between one and three years I live in 61 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,240 a neighborhood. Fuckin' my dad, especially my parents. My father was 62 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,199 a chorizo. My father, the gamblers called him the telecinct twelve times. 63 00:04:23,439 --> 00:04:28,439 It doesn' t cause cause. You know how well, uh, I 64 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,279 had to steal a lot from my dad to pay for it. My mother 65 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:31,759 ' s vice because my mother' s an alcoholic. You know, on 66 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,399 the old night, my mother was wearing gummelons and putting twelve grapes on her. 67 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:38,680 I was stepping on them to make drunk wine. You know, uh, 68 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,959 looking at how they drink, not looking at it as a baby. 69 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,920 The fish were singing it to my watchful mother. Hey, for my mom, 70 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,240 we called it off. They' re melchor gaspari and valantain eye. 71 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,240 You tell me my grandmother your mother is a piece of bread I say my 72 00:04:56,319 --> 00:05:00,079 mother is a torreja of wine. One day I' ll go with her 73 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,319 and buy a bra for her. Tells him the one from the store. 74 00:05:02,399 --> 00:05:04,199 You want it with a glass and my mother says with a free bar. 75 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:14,639 That drunk shit. My mother has come home to me with farts to fuck 76 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,639 my sister to throw her out the window screaming tea picachu. I choose you 77 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:30,360 know Filipino and my grandmother, my granddaughter has fallen into drugs. I do 78 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,720 now, but it' s so fatal. My parents cheat, my grandparents 79 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:39,240 are good, and that' s why I say that my father, who 80 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,839 had to dedicate himself to stealing to pay for my mother' s bike. 81 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,399 My father would have liked to devote himself to something else, but well, 82 00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:45,759 he had to work on Robbery. Then he' s out of politics. 83 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,680 He started to stick sticks seriously. The one who didn' t get granny, 84 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,160 uh the one who didn' t get to know my father was my 85 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:04,959 sister to the model and we called the model because she was born in that 86 00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:05,920 prison in Barcelona, because she wasn' t very pretty. My sister, 87 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,199 my ugly sister, you see her and you say she' s fallen from 88 00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:14,360 Guernica. The ugly little bitch cabe in my sister' s christening. The 89 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,399 flipped photographer says I saw her baptised with water, blessed with something boiling. 90 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:24,399 Please, the first communion made her alone locked in her room. Holy shit 91 00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:28,879 went under the door so she wouldn' t see her. The wine was 92 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:40,959 drunk by my mother and when the priest came to confirm himself, son confirmed 93 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:46,360 you are very ugly. Uh, during my sister' s pregnancy, like 94 00:06:46,399 --> 00:06:49,279 my parents, they were serving sentences together for my sister' s pregnancy, 95 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,000 with the little roll that I had to eat for two My mother ate my 96 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,480 father' s food that she made. My father took advantage and went on 97 00:06:56,519 --> 00:07:01,920 hunger strike and got what no prisoners on hunger strike in this country, in 98 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:14,639 all history. To die is not to laugh laughing, because it was a 99 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,360 mess or burial a clear shame. My father was this skinny. We dressed 100 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,920 it in black, it looked like a charcoal. My father was red- 101 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,519 haired. We dressed him in white, he looked like a mess. That 102 00:07:21,519 --> 00:07:26,160 ' s how hard you know we went to get burned. One comes from 103 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,160 the Tanatori and says here you can' t smoke that leaf' s pay. 104 00:07:29,279 --> 00:07:30,519 We had to bury him. I' d say what a shame. 105 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,639 Now to be ashamed, when my grandfather comes, my grandfather, as he 106 00:07:32,639 --> 00:07:34,839 didn' t know anything, says he passes it to your father. I 107 00:07:34,839 --> 00:07:36,959 say he hasn' t eaten for a month and says a month without having 108 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:39,279 a war. He needed it, and I say," Look ball" 109 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,600 I mean, but, Grandpa, he' s dead. And he says 110 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,600 dead. I was already working. I mean, look, it' s 111 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:54,480 terrible. Son of a bitch, she' s, uh, well, 112 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,319 she' s got to work. Now in my colleague the spoons I' 113 00:07:58,319 --> 00:08:00,720 ve got a colleague spoon. Okay. It' s like Calle Tano Martínez 114 00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:07,480 de Irujo, a horse enthusiast. He' s got to work because he 115 00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:09,199 says he doesn' t have to eat. I mean, it' s 116 00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:11,680 true, I mean because your mouth looks like a portal with two chairs. 117 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:18,839 The little mouse Perez owes him money and I tell you more what the lady 118 00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:20,959 of the Barrio says, but what happened to your mouth and listen to the 119 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,839 horse power, ma' am, but you fell handsome and said no that 120 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:31,319 I put it in. Everything tells me to fuck Juan Carlos Tronco. You 121 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,320 remember when I got things in and out of my teeth, because now my 122 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:41,200 mules get in between things. You know, he' s gonna throw a 123 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:48,480 pig all day. Don' t bump a pig all day with the same 124 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,240 chandal. My colleague, the colleague, I don' t know what he 125 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:54,679 expects from Calón to get a catalogue for Yonkis, he doesn' t have 126 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:56,360 to put a price on it. They' re going to steal it and 127 00:08:56,399 --> 00:09:01,559 I don' t know what Ana Botella, the Mayor of Madrid, is 128 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,720 waiting for to make the Olympic barracks. They give us the Olympics. You 129 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,879 know, if everybody' s already out there with a pussy rtera racket, 130 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,320 what you' re saying is that these people don' t fight for gold. 131 00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:11,960 I mean, but don' t see how they fight for money. 132 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:26,200 Sage no yes, my mother, now where I' d give it the 133 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,519 gold loaf. I' m sure they' d be Olympic March. They 134 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,320 ' d give it to a Yonkeye. You' ve seen how fast candan 135 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:35,600 Yonke with sneakers to walk around the house, you get a ride. Even 136 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:39,399 the goat is not followed by the legion that Yonky who gets to give the 137 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,919 plate to me when the spoons are given me to give the sheet that I 138 00:09:41,919 --> 00:09:45,159 don' t know anymore because he goes tolba bato zumbao and he starts to 139 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,879 give me the chaca. When you hear it, Juan Callo Chaval, he 140 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,240 won' t throw you, you won' t have a cigarette that I 141 00:09:48,279 --> 00:09:50,679 follow the plea, as my grandfather you know. Yeah, yeah, sure, 142 00:09:50,759 --> 00:09:52,080 sure, sure, you know, but he keeps throwing your plate and 143 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,240 he says hey don' t have a cigarette. There' s something soto 144 00:09:54,279 --> 00:09:56,759 for a fighter. Fuck me, it' s not for me to start 145 00:09:56,799 --> 00:09:58,759 seeing if I don' t get any of it. This does not see 146 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,879 nor palpolize these paalÑa nor that I am taking off, since I have 147 00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:03,840 said but how much it costs you a dose and tells me twenty euros and 148 00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:07,840 I say and one about two cysti me, but it is very heavy. 149 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:16,000 I' m a supporter. I do, supporter. I am in favour 150 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:22,679 of giving money to the yonkees because if they don' t park cars they 151 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:26,559 have ever parked the car a Yonking that does not turn away the pig, 152 00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:28,440 that a guy who has not been able to guide himself in life, will 153 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,519 not know how to guide you to embark, that is the other day. 154 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,440 The other day I' ll go with my car, I' ll meet 155 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:35,879 the spoon, I' ll tell you spoons you' ve got a hole 156 00:10:35,879 --> 00:10:39,320 out there. He tells me between teeth in which you want champion, I 157 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,679 mean, but it' s for the car to fool helped me to park. 158 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,320 I blew up the car that didn' t park the car a Johnkee 159 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,360 Vale. And this is paranoid. He doesn' t even have to laugh 160 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:52,720 at us. But I think the shit that hit the Titanic was pretty much 161 00:10:52,799 --> 00:11:01,000 like that. Not that rudder was a night there, wal no, my 162 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:05,200 captain. I don' t think we can fit around, uh, we 163 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,960 can' t fit. He went out in Yonky Elicebert. But like I 164 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:20,440 don' t end up champ, come on, come on, put him 165 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:24,559 in the mirrors Come on, Dale Dale, Dale, I mean, fuck 166 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:28,039 the Titanic. You know the desperate captain who told the most whore there' 167 00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:31,159 s no boats for everyone here. Yes, yes, OK, of course, 168 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,320 since not that I' m not in favour of it being sought in 169 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,480 life Okay, because it' s very bad with the crisis and you have 170 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,960 to look for life as a Scot, we don' t look for it 171 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,480 How it is with the crisis. Hey, there' s family returning the 172 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:50,120 children that Sister Maria stole. There' s the thing even more. But 173 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:56,279 the worst thing isn' t that, the worst thing is that the natural 174 00:11:56,279 --> 00:12:00,960 parents are asking for the ticket, that is to say like he stole, 175 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,120 because if it' s Jess and Roba and I didn' t have that 176 00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:05,159 I can' t speak to you to see people don' t take care 177 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,480 of their children. We' re not going to be able to support our 178 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,000 children with the crisis, i e, the shoes, it' s all 179 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,200 gone up with him was the shoes a basic thing. Well, my kids 180 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,600 have gone back to school Well, back to the barefoot. I don' 181 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,960 t have Pazapates. In the end, you know what I' ve done. 182 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,480 As this country of tambourine has not raised anything taxes that have to do 183 00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:28,120 with bullfighting shows. All my children I' ve bought handmuffs. Everything, 184 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,360 the little one' s got your shit left. The major says they give 185 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,120 up in high school. I told you. I mean, you have to 186 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,240 put up with it. It' s your first year as a teacher. 187 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:48,879 That' s where you put up with this or the an and you' 188 00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:50,639 re going out to protest us on the street because the riot control is coming. 189 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,240 How are Madrid riot control? Uh, before, you ran into a 190 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,759 yonkeye. You changed your sidewalk. I' ve come across an anti- 191 00:12:56,799 --> 00:13:01,399 riot and changed my wax the yonkeye and I say I' ve already passed 192 00:13:01,399 --> 00:13:09,240 the thing very bad, good, good, good, good as my neighborhood. 193 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,080 The police don' t go in anymore, because, like, it 194 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:11,720 ' s such a bad neighborhood. Well, the last time there was a 195 00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:15,240 chase with the police in my neighborhood I was going on was the police. 196 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:20,120 You know yes. In my fucking neighborhood. There' s the party in 197 00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:22,080 my Alucinas neighborhood, there' s more Johnkey riding on the Witch' s 198 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,720 train than dodging. You know the pirate ship is a pirate, you' 199 00:13:26,799 --> 00:13:31,879 re getting on a trip, you' re getting off, a fucking party 200 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:35,000 movie. They put a guy alive once. The next day he showed up 201 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:39,519 dead. I started smoking joints at the parties in my neighborhood, of course 202 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:43,399 because there is a lot of drugs, besides the dumbest way, because I 203 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,840 was going through the vervain of my neighborhood and I say look, I say 204 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,000 cotton with sugar, apples with caramario. I mean, you smoke chocolate. 205 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:58,000 That looks like a laugh because we got caught by the neighborhood priest smoking joints. 206 00:13:58,039 --> 00:14:01,080 There my colleagues and we stare at the workman tells me there are smoking 207 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:09,519 joints. People who do drugs have no goals, I say goals. I 208 00:14:09,519 --> 00:14:13,120 ' m here to run. Now, Father, he tells me not to 209 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,639 laugh, because if you smoke a joint, you end up injecting. Heroin, 210 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,480 I mean father, that' s as exaggerated as saying that if I 211 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:31,480 become a nun, I can end up stealing children. You don' t 212 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,679 tell me that' s impossible for it to happen. I say yes, 213 00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:39,440 yes, of course, I mean, I can' t believe anything a 214 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,559 priest tells me, I mean, I read the Bible, Saavis, I 215 00:14:41,559 --> 00:14:43,399 give him the Bible, I can' t believe anything a priest tells me. 216 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,919 I' ve read the Bible and freaked out. I mean, I 217 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,799 mean, the snake jo already dances so the whale Daniel and the lion and 218 00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:54,720 I say but I' m reading the Bible or picopata hair please, I 219 00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:58,200 mean, and I' m going to believe that I' m told by 220 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,559 a guy like that that if I smoke a joint, I can end up 221 00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:03,000 injecting heroin. I mean, if I smoke a joint, I can end 222 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,759 up as President of the Government, because they say the joints take your memory 223 00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:09,799 away. I mean, it must be true, and it' s true 224 00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:13,120 that the president of this piyfumac, because it' s that it' s 225 00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:13,519 winning the selection and if you forget everything you promised. No, that' 226 00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:22,600 s not me when I' m not, when I' m cracked. 227 00:15:22,679 --> 00:15:26,759 We' re not talking about education today. But when Zapatero was in this 228 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:31,080 country and Zapatero was on TV, I was watching the TV and I thought 229 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:37,720 he smokes Zapatero, that he rules it, that he rules it, because 230 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,080 Zapatero had to stick some smoked in the moncloa of the good eh, but 231 00:15:41,159 --> 00:15:58,600 of the pretty one of the PSSS. Wow how handsome, what handsome? 232 00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:11,399 C There' s this thing that you brought your pickle s I get my 233 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:25,120 eyebrows pointed and everything looks good. Let' s see what we can do 234 00:16:25,159 --> 00:16:33,360 to get the shrimp in. Today Rubalcava to see a moment what happens I 235 00:16:33,399 --> 00:16:38,399 will call you Rubalcalva that I am funny. Today Rubalcava, see go here 236 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:49,799 one thing will happen look. We' re gonna slow down to a hundred 237 00:16:49,879 --> 00:16:52,799 and ten in three months. We put it back up to one hundred and 238 00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:56,360 twenty. We' re not gonna break the dick. That joint thing, 239 00:16:57,759 --> 00:17:11,680 that joint thing? Don' t imagine, imagine. The next day he 240 00:17:11,759 --> 00:17:19,920 was blushing to the Moncloa. José Luis you' re going to freak out 241 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:32,240 that they haven' t published it in the Official Gazette. Now that you 242 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:47,119 and the shoemaker do there stickers. That joint thing, that joint thing? 243 00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:56,200 How I' m going to want something that a politician tells me let' 244 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,119 s not even tell me a priest can' t be looked at. Flip. 245 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,759 On the issue of drugs, the Minister of Justice himself has said that 246 00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:03,720 drugs are illegal because they destroy homes. And that' s fine with me, 247 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,279 but I mean pussy, I mean, drugs are illegal because they destroy 248 00:18:07,279 --> 00:18:07,839 in homes. So I say tobacco, alcohol and gambling, which are the 249 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,200 foundation of the Spanish family, or what not. Hey. And if we 250 00:18:12,279 --> 00:18:15,480 already put all three crazy things together, or you put around a table, 251 00:18:15,599 --> 00:18:19,599 a family smoking, sucking wikis and playing cards, the question is that it 252 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:33,200 has broken more home on the drug or the Christmas Eve is no more. 253 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:37,799 If that' s the criterion and we legalize everything that can destroy a home, 254 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,640 everything that can break a home, we' re going to outlaw it 255 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,960 and we' re going to do it here and now, because we' 256 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,119 re the sovereign people and we can do it. Okay, let' s 257 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,279 just take advantage of the fact that this is a fifteen- year- old 258 00:18:47,279 --> 00:18:48,079 camp. He' ll see his hands raised, as well as the indignant. 259 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,960 All of them. I see this as an anti- riot. He 260 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,319 ' s got a stick, eh ha ha ha ha. No, but 261 00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:03,559 we' re going to legalize everything that can break a home in your opinion, 262 00:19:03,599 --> 00:19:08,519 that has broken more homes, unemployment or drugs answer it and legalize unemployment. 263 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:15,319 Here I now vote in favour. We just outlawed unemployment. Which has 264 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,079 broken more homes, evictions or drugs and legalize the eviction Potos in favor, 265 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:25,119 which has broken more homes, labor has a gay marriage or drugs. I 266 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:30,039 ' ve caught you here, eh, for the Episcopal Conference. Abortion and 267 00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:33,599 gay marriages have broken more homes than drugs and let' s legalize the Episcopal 268 00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:37,960 Conference votes in favour. Let' s keep going, let' s keep 269 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:48,000 outlawing things. Of course we are going to outlaw everything that can destroy a 270 00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:52,039 home, hunger, wars, weapons, tobacco, gambling alcohol. My grandfather 271 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:56,759 said everything. Everything. My strophagar grandfather is everything. Bullfights. You heard 272 00:19:56,839 --> 00:20:00,519 right. Bullfights break more homes than drugs. If you don' t believe 273 00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:04,640 me, ask the cows. But of course no one asks cows because they 274 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:10,559 have no feelings. In fact, bullfighting is legal in this country, because 275 00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:14,079 the bull does not suffer and this you are going to freak out. The 276 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,400 protaurines hold and I swear to you this is true, that the animal suffers 277 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,000 more during transport to the square than during the fight. I mean, I 278 00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:25,759 don' t believe it even if you bring them with Ryaneos. I mean, 279 00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:34,200 I don' t believe it, I mean I' ll give you 280 00:20:34,279 --> 00:20:37,200 an example? No, I mean, am I going to give you an 281 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:41,720 example? I mean, I live in a country, I live in a 282 00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:45,039 country where it' s socially better to see a bleeding bull die than to 283 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,160 smoke a joint, and I' m going to give you this example. 284 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,279 Difame the bull from the vega. I knew what he said. Not defaming 285 00:20:51,319 --> 00:20:55,440 the bull can mean a fine of three zero euros, as well as smoking 286 00:20:55,480 --> 00:21:00,200 a joint on the public road. You know the conclusion that I get from 287 00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:12,880 this that I travel in torsillas comes out for six thousand bucks seriously And if 288 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,759 we already difame the bull, we get in nine thousand. You know, 289 00:21:18,079 --> 00:21:22,240 but we' re going to continue to outlaw things that can destroy a home 290 00:21:22,319 --> 00:21:23,880 and not leave the horns that have broken more homes, adultery or drugs. 291 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:30,200 I understand that you can' t keep your eyes shut, but the rest 292 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,680 of us, I mean, don' t be hypocrites. I mean, 293 00:21:32,799 --> 00:21:36,559 you walk into your bedroom, you see a joint in an ashtray to your 294 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:41,200 wife, on all fours, and a black guy giving her a shoe from 295 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,039 behind, and you' re gonna tell me that the first thing that comes 296 00:21:44,039 --> 00:21:56,599 out of your mouth is a joint. I mean, let' s visualize 297 00:21:56,599 --> 00:21:59,839 it. If you do me a favor, you can close your eyes that 298 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,160 situation, close your eyes all right boys, enter your room The lady has 299 00:22:06,079 --> 00:22:11,400 already imagined the black. Don' t imagine it. Close your eyes, 300 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,119 imagine that situation, enter in your room and you see a pronunciation of your 301 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:19,680 woman on all fours is worth girls, you are the woman, you are 302 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:25,200 imagining it, boys you do not think so bad to the drug girls, 303 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:30,839 how you are having fun eh anyway, you have felt violent no, anyway, 304 00:22:30,799 --> 00:22:33,279 you have felt violent no, because of course, how you are going 305 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,920 to imagine that. How are you going to imagine your wife in four parts, 306 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,440 the girls are saying. I can' t imagine that. I mean, 307 00:22:38,519 --> 00:22:41,720 I got my guy next door, lie to him, tell him you 308 00:22:41,759 --> 00:22:45,880 were thinking about something else. He does it every day, no, but 309 00:22:45,039 --> 00:22:48,319 we' re going to do it in a neutral environment. This same thing 310 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,799 we will imagine with third people so that it does not affect us so much, 311 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,799 that is to close our eyes. We shut it down and now we 312 00:22:55,799 --> 00:22:56,960 imagine an ordinary guy we don' t know about anything. A very common 313 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:02,039 man, José, seems well, I don' t know, enters a 314 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:06,000 bedroom and sees his wife on all fours and a black man giving him a 315 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,759 slipper from behind. You' re imagining it. Yeah, well, now 316 00:23:07,759 --> 00:23:11,799 you switch to black for a pigeon. It is Frey nine months you call 317 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:17,160 him Jesus and we already have Christianity. You don' t think so. 318 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:27,079 It' s no more. We already have the Bethlehem seriously, we have 319 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,039 the bel monta. Because you don' t have to put on or go 320 00:23:30,039 --> 00:23:30,799 or mule anymore. I' m not going, I' m not going, 321 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 I' m not going, I' m going, I' m 322 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 323 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 324 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 325 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 326 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 327 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 328 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 329 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 330 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 331 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 332 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 333 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 334 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 335 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:30,799 going, I' m going, I' m going, I' m 336 00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:32,079 going, I' m going, I' m going. You don' 337 00:23:32,079 --> 00:23:33,039 t have to put up, I don' t have to go, I 338 00:23:33,039 --> 00:23:33,039 don' t have to go, I don' t have a mule. 339 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:36,880 Now it turns out that magician kings are Andalusians, that is, as we 340 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,799 go on. So it turns out that the child the thefts Sister Mary, 341 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,559 St Joseph was a travelo and Mary, for Mary must be what the Pope 342 00:23:44,599 --> 00:23:47,319 smokes to write these things, because if I don' t explain it to 343 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:48,880 me you know that, in the end see them a nativity scene is going 344 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,599 to make a movie of Almodóvar. This man, as he keeps taking things 345 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,640 away, is not going to be freaking out. Approve the atheists above speaking 346 00:23:53,640 --> 00:24:10,119 the Bethlehem and we should go and legalize the Christmas Eve just because we don 347 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,640 ' t have to remove the Bethlehem after Christmas. To you it happens what 348 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,160 to me that the Bethlehem is finished, that is, they took out the 349 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:22,839 Christmases and the Bethlehem can stay there. I say on Monday and I don 350 00:24:22,839 --> 00:24:23,920 ' t say on Sunday that they don' t work day that I don 351 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,559 ' t work, they touch me. I don' t take it off 352 00:24:25,559 --> 00:24:29,359 either. I have the record to remove the Bethlehem. In August. I 353 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:30,480 swear to you, I' m going to remove the Bethlehem. There was 354 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,359 no longer Bethlehem, there was a St Joseph' s snack bar making a 355 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:37,359 paya for the Magi. I swear to you, the boy Jesus was already 356 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,559 walking and everything, uh, if he goes to the La Virgen River, 357 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,880 don' t get cocky, he cuts off your digestion. St Joseph says 358 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,680 something to the child and Joseph doesn' t tell the child' s nest 359 00:24:47,759 --> 00:24:52,440 anything for three reasons. First, I' m not his father. Second, 360 00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:55,880 nothing will happen to him until he' s thirty- three. And 361 00:24:56,039 --> 00:24:57,920 third, the river of silver paper takes it to the spoons a while ago. 362 00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:11,799 I mean, I don' t say anything to the child and we 363 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,960 should legalize Christmas Eve precisely because I destroy homes. Jesus' first, that 364 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,759 is, is not his father. Saint Joseph, that is, Jesus was 365 00:25:18,759 --> 00:25:25,640 born in a broken home. Jesus because he was born twenty centuries ago comes 366 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,920 out in the Bible and ends up crucified. If Jesus is born, now 367 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:36,000 the older brother comes out, bursting a door, but he was born twenty 368 00:25:36,079 --> 00:25:41,880 centuries ago and ends up crucified. And when he is crucified, he says 369 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,400 above my God, my God, why have you forsaken me. If I 370 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,000 am his father, if I am God, I open heaven and tell him 371 00:25:49,079 --> 00:25:53,079 that Jesus is thirty- three years old. You live with your parents. 372 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,400 You' re out there all day with the cabbages that why she left you, 373 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:02,839 because she was already working, Jesus, because I was still working. 374 00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:07,200 Thank you very much for seeing if you' d a little bit. Thank 375 00:26:07,279 --> 00:26:07,440 you very much.