WEBVTT

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This is a downbeat on ninety one
the Free ninety minutes away. It's press

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play JJ's definitive list of top ten
movies of twenty twenty three. We got

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the best and most knowledgeable movie critic
on the air in DFW with us.

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She's gonna lay it out. Change
you got your hair done. It looks

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beautiful. Thank you holiday season man? What does that mean? Do you

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change? No, you gotta get
get right. Is this braid? This

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is braided? Yes, they're called
butterfly locks. Butterfly locks? How many

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would you guess there are? How
many individual braids? I will be fifty

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fifty? Yeah? How long does
this take? It took four hours?

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So yeah, they said we the
lady they did in my hair. She

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turned on The Wolf of Wall Street, which is about three hours all that

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and an hour. Yeah. So
by the end of that I was like,

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okay, ro almost there. So
that's a movie from a salon or

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a family member or salon. Yeah, saint telling us how much that can?

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Guess how much that costs? Go
for it all right, Kevin?

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Eighty five dollars more? Yeah,
it's what it's one hundred and twenty five

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dollars more. One hundred and fifty
dollars more, two hundred and fifty dollars

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an hour less, uh one eighty
little less, so one seventy five.

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Yeah, and that's the cost.
And then yeah you too. Because it

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was a Sunday, I had to
It was like kind of like an up

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charge twenty four hours more or premium
premium day. Yeah, Sundays and Mondays

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you have to tip, don't you
That was our tip? What twenty five?

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Oh so it was one fifty no? Oh what so you get to

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total? Yeah? Okay, okay, okay. Mike's a bad bad guessing

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the tipping. I mean he's a
good tipper, incredibly good tipper of the

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mostly by accident. Yeah. Well, I mean I think it looks great

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on you. Happy holidays, Thank
you, Happy holidays one and all.

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Can I give you a lightning fast
sports note, Kevin, Please you know

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what ended last night? One of
the greatest streaks in sports history ended last

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night. Max ver stappins No,
not Max for stapp and he didn't raise

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last night here in the Formula one
off season. It's a fair guess,

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no, considering it's not in season
for that spot. It's a big streak.

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Golden State Warrior superstar Steph Curry failed
to make a three pointer. Oh,

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for the first time in five years. Really yeah, last night against

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the Blazers, he was zero for
eight from three you know what, first

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something or he was in a funking
but he was like Steve Kirk colem In,

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like he was doing his pregame room
teen a little closer to game time

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so more people would be he does
that where it's closer because there's more people

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in the sands. And now he
had moved it back so he had time

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to go focus before the game and
see if care had some comments like he's

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been dealing with a lot with this
Draymond thing. No really yeah, Well

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he was ice cold yesterday, first
game since November eighth, twenty eighteen that

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he didn't splash one. That's his
NBA record two hundred and sixty eight game

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stretch comes to an end. But
he is also owner of the second longest

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streak at one hundred and fifty seven
games. I guess he made before that,

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well I did. Who was the
second place in that streak? No,

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he is. He had his second
place as well. A news third

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to say no, but it says
the current longest active streak with at least

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one made three is one hundred and
one straight from Dame Lillard. Wow,

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and it's gonna take him a long
time to get there. He may be

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retired. He probably couldn't get there. That is crazy though. November twenty

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eighteen, at least knock one down. That's Luca's next big streak. I

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do want no he Yeah. Does
Luke have a game this year without a

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mad three? I'm sure I beat
he does because sometimes he has a bad

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night from the three point line,
but he shoots enough of him that you'd

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think he Well, while we're on
Luca, let's just do it. Do

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it. Luca passed Dirk for thirty
five point games. For a number of

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thirty five point games, it's seventy
nine. In Dirk's career, Dirk had

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seventy eight to thirty five plus point
games. Luca has seventy nine. It's

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incredible. It's funny because this is
bad. I think it's Mark Keith Morris

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is the one we have. I'm
sorry, man, that's okay. Mark

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Keith and Marcus it's always going to
be trouble. I think we have Mark

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Heath and he was like, man, I didn't even know until like I

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played with him. He goes he
should be MVP. He's like he's dragging

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this team up and down the court
by himself every night. I mean it

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was like great praise. Yeah,
and Derek Clevely sprang's ankle. He'll be

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out tonight likely it's not official,
but he was in a walking boot with

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ankle spray. I don't like the
boot. That's where he's been in Portante.

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I worry that we'll give one hundred
and forty when Derek Clively is not

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there, which I mean we can
give that on any given night at some

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point because we play fast and yeah, but that dude frees up a lot

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on offenses. Luca finds him everywhere
all YESU is cut to the bucket.

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It's either going to be at the
rim or in your hands right under the

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circle. The team's kind of good. I mean, they're sixteen and nine

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and they're really good. Take you
back, top three team in the Western

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Conference. They're very good. And
I still have no clue. I think,

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yes, Luca and Kyrie can play
together because they have in won games

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where Luca goes and scores in the
thirties and Kyrie chips in with twenty to

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twenty five points. I absolutely think
they can play together. I think we

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have no hard answer on that.
And how you know legit that is is

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a strategy because Kyrie's been hurt.
But right now lucas going and playing forty

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minutes a night, and it would
help to get Kyrie back, So Luca

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could play thirty two minutes a night
and just kind of ease up on the

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load that he's carrying right now.
But this dude right now is in a

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different world than maybe he's ever been. This might be the hottest streak he's

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been on. Headband Luca. Luca
has not had a game this year where

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he didn't make a three pointer,
but the last game of last year he

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went zero for five. Okay,
so he is at a twenty five game

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streak. Does it made threes?
Does the streak end if you miss a

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game due to suspension? No,
I don't think so. I think we

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are. I think it's games played
because I'm sure Steph has missed missed some

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games over the last five years.
As his streak comes to an end,

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did not make a three pointer last
night? Steph Curry two hundred and sixty

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eight game stretch ends. Here's the
scuttle button. We might get to this

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story involving Joe Biden's motorcade, but
I've decided to do something a little different

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first, is what you've decided to
thank Parker University. Oh my god,

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Parker dot Edu. Yeah, thank
you for that. Well, I'll reviewer

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our ghost Pepper Pavilion picks here at
eight. So I promised you when we

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started working together, like on the
same show in July, I'm not gonna

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beat you down with some SNL stuff. But I did tell you if there's

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some good I will shoot my shot
and you just buckle up for it,

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buddy. Okay. And you said, do you think keV oh I said

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every day that was the or anyone
even called me Kevio. Yeah, that's

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the first time it was said.
So every year on the Christmas episode,

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there's a tradition on Saturday Not Live
known as the joke Swap. Now it's

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in the weekend update. You have
Colin Jost and you have Michael cha All

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right, Colin Jost, white guy
married to Scarlett Johansson. Michael Chay,

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black guy famously single. Why famously
because he's just always tweeting about it and

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instagramming about it. I'm going to
play you just for reference before you get

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geared up, just to what you're
palette. I'm already geared up the twenty

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twenty one joke swap. Okay,
I've pared it down. So basically they're

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reading off Q cards jokes that have
been prepared by the other guy, okay,

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without seeing it, and I believe
them because you could tell their reactions

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legit. And it did be again, when this began in seventeen or eighteen,

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it was all kind of good fun, and then it gets a little

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edgier. By twenty twenty one,
it's gotten to make Colin look like the

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most racist guy ever because he's reading
a good joke that Michael Jay has wrote

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for him. All right, now, I've done this before a few years

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ago, replayed some of the past
joke swaps, and I remember we got

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the station, got a complaint from
someone was like, that's just racist material.

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But you have to understand, I'm
hopefully I'm clearly explaining the bit white

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guy reading jokes that the black guy
wrote, Black guy reading jokes that the

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white guy wrote. Does that help
a little crass? Maybe I understand?

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I think it's clear. Now here's
the twenty one Before we get to this

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year's joke swap that happened on Saturday
night. Here's the twenty twenty one joke

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swap and ovis monkey in Thailand named
Godzilla has been sent to a special facility

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to lose weight. Official realize the
monkey was overweight when a bunch of black

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guys kept hitting on it. That's
pretty racist. Called Las Vegas is opening

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a pop up vaccine site in a
strip club, and don't worry, the

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strippers say the vaccine is a lot
like Michael Cha very quick and you can

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barely fearly go in. Warner Brothers
is producing a new movie in which Superman

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is black, and a black Superman
actually makes a lot of sense when you

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remember that Superman was abandoned by his
parents as a big y yo. San

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Diego police are being investigated after video
surface of them using excessive force on a

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homeless black man accused of urinating in
public. But I say, great more

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great work keeping our streets clean.
Boys, Yes, sir, anything the

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police do is all right with old
Mikey Chay. I know I'm probably the

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only black bed brave not to say
this. Black TV but blue lives matter

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even more? Oh really nice?
So okay, this week construction began on

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a new hip hop museum in the
Bronx. And I know that we've had

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a lot of fun with me reading
racist jokes that Michael writes for me.

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But because our country is already divided
enough, I'd like to use my platform

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to say something that everyone of all
races can agree on. What Hellen is

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innocent? Which is awesome because Colin's
married to Scarlett Johansson, who has defended

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a little bit fast. I mean, he's given her some good roles.

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It's pretty good, right, all
fun, very funny anyone. You can

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hear them laughing while they read,
because you know how it works seeing it.

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You see a few words ahead and
you know it's about to be terrible.

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I like it. It's evolved over
the years, too, which is

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great. That's very fun how it
started versus how it is now. Did

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you see this year's yes? Okay, good? So this is from Saturday

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Night. Here's the setup. I'm
gonna go. There's the setup. There's

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a big wrinkle thrown in here.
There's no way Colin knew this was happening

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tonight. Guys, is our Christmas
show. And we have a tradition where

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Shane and I give each other jokes
to read. So maybe they other to

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read jokes live on air at the
other person has never seen before, right,

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And the idea is to give each
other, you know, like fun

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jokes that could be fun. Yeah
sure, But before we start, there's

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someone very special here who was last
on this show season three, forty six

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years ago, poet, author and
activist. Please welcome doctor Hattie Davis.

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And yeah, Collins, you can
start with your first joke. Hi.

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Okay, So they pulled doctor Hattie
Davis up and she's just in a chair

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just to sit next to, just
to sit Colin. Colin goes Hi wavesadder

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pleasure. So you know what's about
the code. And for those that don't

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know, I should say this,
Doctor Hattie Davis is an older black woman

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just right sitting next to Colin.
She's lift through some stuff. Here's Colin's

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personal chow. Okay, you ready. Of geneticis not like Colin's faces ship

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God. Colin is showing you that
he is. He didn't know this was

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planned, like he was like shocked
that she was there. Of Geneticis have

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announced plans to bring back the Dodo
and reintroduce it to Africa. And if

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you asked me, I can think
of at least one Dodo I'd like to

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reintroduce to Africa. The picture of
Obama. The woe was an activist calling.

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The woman was an activist calling.
That's amazing to bring in someone to

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sit shoulder to shoulder with him.
Michael J plays dirty on this every year

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because like not like he even last
year at the end, like I think

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it was the season, but now
even he told the whole crowd like I

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remember this, and he told him
like, don't laughter in Collin's jokes.

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So Colin, dude, joke to
nothing, and he's like, do I

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just suck? Okay, here's Michael
J's first joke. Last month, Beyonce

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posted a photo on Instagram of herself
in a chrome Versace dress and platinum blonde

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hair that many people on line described
as too white. In fact, Beyonce

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looked so white that I was finally
attracted to her. Okay that he said,

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all like, not a not a
bad one though, right compared to

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what Colin's having to do. Yeah, here's the second joke for Colin.

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The Adult Survivors Act. Which allowed
sex abuse victims to find lawsuits even after

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the statute of limitations expired, has
resulted in several new suits figures, because

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bitches love bringing up old stuff.
Am I right? The woman marched with

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King on his card? It's turn? Am I right? Turned to her

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and thought the dad and she just
goes she shakes her head. No,

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the woman marched with King. Okay, here's Michael J's second joke. I

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said she was last joke. They
were All Time Day, A musical about

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the life of Michael Jackson, has
become one of the highest grossing shows on

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Broadway, and my review of the
acting is the same as my opinion of

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MJ's trial. Michael is amazing,
but the kids are not believable at all.

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But I don't want to end like
that. It's the holidays and I

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want to end on a positive,
uplifting note, especially with all the turmoiling

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and mitle east right now. So
I want to say, from the bottom

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of my heart, whether you're chew
and short Muslim, y'all need Jesus,

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good God. So Colin has to
end it because he kinda got two in

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right there. Well, that's an
untouchable topic. The middle East. And

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then this is Colin again reading a
joke did Michael j roads for him?

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New York State now allows movie theaters
to serve alcohol, which is how I'm

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finally able to enjoy my my wife's
little art movie. Okay, it's a

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picture of black widow. Okay,
this is a great joke about his watch.

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New York State now allows movie theaters
to serve alcohol, which is how

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I'm finally able to enjoy my wife's
little art movie. I'm kidding, honey.

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I love all of your movies,
and if you ask me, you're

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an even better black widow than Coretis
guy God in front of Hattie Davis.

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Okay, do you know who Hattie
Davis is? Well, I've learned a

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little bit over the weekend. But
yeah, I'm like, there's no way

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Colin you right? Well me maybe
because no, Okay, I mean the

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live show that with a lot of
I mean they rehearsed this thing pretty good

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over the weekend. So is this
right that Hattie Davis is not a real

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person? Oh? Is that true? Yeah? She's an actress. Daphne

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Skeeter not like a real activist,
was never on SNL, didn't march with

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she was an actor really, yeah, just brought in to look like a

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like incredibly accomplished, accomplished doctor.
Okay. It was weird that you would

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have someone and then not let them
speak right, completely made up by Chay

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for the sake of the bit.
Okay, So I guess helps that takes

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away the authenticity of the of the
bit that But he wouldn't know it's sitting

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there live, you know, he's
like, all right, she looks the

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part. Yeah, I don't think
I don't think anyone would know that,

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right. Yeah, that's incredible and
that is a great bit. Gosh,

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it's it's awesome every year. And
if we could write quality jokes, I

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would say, let's steal that RW. But clearly we can't if you listen

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to the end of thank you Morning
News, when even when I do it,

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we're scouring the internet for some crappy
joke that no one said yet.

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So those two guys, and those
guys are the I mean, Tollin's been

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there longer, SU's the head writer, which Chase the co head writer or

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whatever. Those guys and I'm talking
about just those jokes. They would help

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write all the sketches and stuff.
Those guys have this talent where they can

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crank out a hundred jokes just they
can just do it, and they're so

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good at writing so much stuff Bill
and so many there don't make the cut.

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Oh my god. Yeah, but
I love I look forward to that

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every years. The usually the Christmas
episode. Sometimes they'll do it during the

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finale. We'll see if they do. That's funny. It's sometimes shocking though,

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if you were watching it and didn't
hear the setup, you're like,

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huh yeah, I mean when your
calling goes, you're gonna get me killed.

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But uh, all right, there
we go. Very good. Yeah,

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what's that review? What we thought
would happened in Cowboys and Bills say,

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if we get some points of the
war, we're gonna hear from the

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world's biggest Bills fan at eight thirty
five as well, and then at nine

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o'clock JJ's Top movies of twenty twenty
three. We'll keep it going next on

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ninety seven one to three