This is a downbeat on ninety one the Free ninety minutes away. It's press
play JJ's definitive list of top ten movies of twenty twenty three. We got
the best and most knowledgeable movie critic on the air in DFW with us.
She's gonna lay it out. Change you got your hair done. It looks
beautiful. Thank you holiday season man? What does that mean? Do you
change? No, you gotta get get right. Is this braid? This
is braided? Yes, they're called butterfly locks. Butterfly locks? How many
would you guess there are? How many individual braids? I will be fifty
fifty? Yeah? How long does this take? It took four hours?
So yeah, they said we the lady they did in my hair. She
turned on The Wolf of Wall Street, which is about three hours all that
and an hour. Yeah. So by the end of that I was like,
okay, ro almost there. So that's a movie from a salon or
a family member or salon. Yeah, saint telling us how much that can?
Guess how much that costs? Go for it all right, Kevin?
Eighty five dollars more? Yeah, it's what it's one hundred and twenty five
dollars more. One hundred and fifty dollars more, two hundred and fifty dollars
an hour less, uh one eighty little less, so one seventy five.
Yeah, and that's the cost. And then yeah you too. Because it
was a Sunday, I had to It was like kind of like an up
charge twenty four hours more or premium premium day. Yeah, Sundays and Mondays
you have to tip, don't you That was our tip? What twenty five?
Oh so it was one fifty no? Oh what so you get to
total? Yeah? Okay, okay, okay. Mike's a bad bad guessing
the tipping. I mean he's a good tipper, incredibly good tipper of the
mostly by accident. Yeah. Well, I mean I think it looks great
on you. Happy holidays, Thank you, Happy holidays one and all.
Can I give you a lightning fast sports note, Kevin, Please you know
what ended last night? One of the greatest streaks in sports history ended last
night. Max ver stappins No, not Max for stapp and he didn't raise
last night here in the Formula one off season. It's a fair guess,
no, considering it's not in season for that spot. It's a big streak.
Golden State Warrior superstar Steph Curry failed to make a three pointer. Oh,
for the first time in five years. Really yeah, last night against
the Blazers, he was zero for eight from three you know what, first
something or he was in a funking but he was like Steve Kirk colem In,
like he was doing his pregame room teen a little closer to game time
so more people would be he does that where it's closer because there's more people
in the sands. And now he had moved it back so he had time
to go focus before the game and see if care had some comments like he's
been dealing with a lot with this Draymond thing. No really yeah, Well
he was ice cold yesterday, first game since November eighth, twenty eighteen that
he didn't splash one. That's his NBA record two hundred and sixty eight game
stretch comes to an end. But he is also owner of the second longest
streak at one hundred and fifty seven games. I guess he made before that,
well I did. Who was the second place in that streak? No,
he is. He had his second place as well. A news third
to say no, but it says the current longest active streak with at least
one made three is one hundred and one straight from Dame Lillard. Wow,
and it's gonna take him a long time to get there. He may be
retired. He probably couldn't get there. That is crazy though. November twenty
eighteen, at least knock one down. That's Luca's next big streak. I
do want no he Yeah. Does Luke have a game this year without a
mad three? I'm sure I beat he does because sometimes he has a bad
night from the three point line, but he shoots enough of him that you'd
think he Well, while we're on Luca, let's just do it. Do
it. Luca passed Dirk for thirty five point games. For a number of
thirty five point games, it's seventy nine. In Dirk's career, Dirk had
seventy eight to thirty five plus point games. Luca has seventy nine. It's
incredible. It's funny because this is bad. I think it's Mark Keith Morris
is the one we have. I'm sorry, man, that's okay. Mark
Keith and Marcus it's always going to be trouble. I think we have Mark
Heath and he was like, man, I didn't even know until like I
played with him. He goes he should be MVP. He's like he's dragging
this team up and down the court by himself every night. I mean it
was like great praise. Yeah, and Derek Clevely sprang's ankle. He'll be
out tonight likely it's not official, but he was in a walking boot with
ankle spray. I don't like the boot. That's where he's been in Portante.
I worry that we'll give one hundred and forty when Derek Clively is not
there, which I mean we can give that on any given night at some
point because we play fast and yeah, but that dude frees up a lot
on offenses. Luca finds him everywhere all YESU is cut to the bucket.
It's either going to be at the rim or in your hands right under the
circle. The team's kind of good. I mean, they're sixteen and nine
and they're really good. Take you back, top three team in the Western
Conference. They're very good. And I still have no clue. I think,
yes, Luca and Kyrie can play together because they have in won games
where Luca goes and scores in the thirties and Kyrie chips in with twenty to
twenty five points. I absolutely think they can play together. I think we
have no hard answer on that. And how you know legit that is is
a strategy because Kyrie's been hurt. But right now lucas going and playing forty
minutes a night, and it would help to get Kyrie back, So Luca
could play thirty two minutes a night and just kind of ease up on the
load that he's carrying right now. But this dude right now is in a
different world than maybe he's ever been. This might be the hottest streak he's
been on. Headband Luca. Luca has not had a game this year where
he didn't make a three pointer, but the last game of last year he
went zero for five. Okay, so he is at a twenty five game
streak. Does it made threes? Does the streak end if you miss a
game due to suspension? No, I don't think so. I think we
are. I think it's games played because I'm sure Steph has missed missed some
games over the last five years. As his streak comes to an end,
did not make a three pointer last night? Steph Curry two hundred and sixty
eight game stretch ends. Here's the scuttle button. We might get to this
story involving Joe Biden's motorcade, but I've decided to do something a little different
first, is what you've decided to thank Parker University. Oh my god,
Parker dot Edu. Yeah, thank you for that. Well, I'll reviewer
our ghost Pepper Pavilion picks here at eight. So I promised you when we
started working together, like on the same show in July, I'm not gonna
beat you down with some SNL stuff. But I did tell you if there's
some good I will shoot my shot and you just buckle up for it,
buddy. Okay. And you said, do you think keV oh I said
every day that was the or anyone even called me Kevio. Yeah, that's
the first time it was said. So every year on the Christmas episode,
there's a tradition on Saturday Not Live known as the joke Swap. Now it's
in the weekend update. You have Colin Jost and you have Michael cha All
right, Colin Jost, white guy married to Scarlett Johansson. Michael Chay,
black guy famously single. Why famously because he's just always tweeting about it and
instagramming about it. I'm going to play you just for reference before you get
geared up, just to what you're palette. I'm already geared up the twenty
twenty one joke swap. Okay, I've pared it down. So basically they're
reading off Q cards jokes that have been prepared by the other guy, okay,
without seeing it, and I believe them because you could tell their reactions
legit. And it did be again, when this began in seventeen or eighteen,
it was all kind of good fun, and then it gets a little
edgier. By twenty twenty one, it's gotten to make Colin look like the
most racist guy ever because he's reading a good joke that Michael Jay has wrote
for him. All right, now, I've done this before a few years
ago, replayed some of the past joke swaps, and I remember we got
the station, got a complaint from someone was like, that's just racist material.
But you have to understand, I'm hopefully I'm clearly explaining the bit white
guy reading jokes that the black guy wrote, Black guy reading jokes that the
white guy wrote. Does that help a little crass? Maybe I understand?
I think it's clear. Now here's the twenty one Before we get to this
year's joke swap that happened on Saturday night. Here's the twenty twenty one joke
swap and ovis monkey in Thailand named Godzilla has been sent to a special facility
to lose weight. Official realize the monkey was overweight when a bunch of black
guys kept hitting on it. That's pretty racist. Called Las Vegas is opening
a pop up vaccine site in a strip club, and don't worry, the
strippers say the vaccine is a lot like Michael Cha very quick and you can
barely fearly go in. Warner Brothers is producing a new movie in which Superman
is black, and a black Superman actually makes a lot of sense when you
remember that Superman was abandoned by his parents as a big y yo. San
Diego police are being investigated after video surface of them using excessive force on a
homeless black man accused of urinating in public. But I say, great more
great work keeping our streets clean. Boys, Yes, sir, anything the
police do is all right with old Mikey Chay. I know I'm probably the
only black bed brave not to say this. Black TV but blue lives matter
even more? Oh really nice? So okay, this week construction began on
a new hip hop museum in the Bronx. And I know that we've had
a lot of fun with me reading racist jokes that Michael writes for me.
But because our country is already divided enough, I'd like to use my platform
to say something that everyone of all races can agree on. What Hellen is
innocent? Which is awesome because Colin's married to Scarlett Johansson, who has defended
a little bit fast. I mean, he's given her some good roles.
It's pretty good, right, all fun, very funny anyone. You can
hear them laughing while they read, because you know how it works seeing it.
You see a few words ahead and you know it's about to be terrible.
I like it. It's evolved over the years, too, which is
great. That's very fun how it started versus how it is now. Did
you see this year's yes? Okay, good? So this is from Saturday
Night. Here's the setup. I'm gonna go. There's the setup. There's
a big wrinkle thrown in here. There's no way Colin knew this was happening
tonight. Guys, is our Christmas show. And we have a tradition where
Shane and I give each other jokes to read. So maybe they other to
read jokes live on air at the other person has never seen before, right,
And the idea is to give each other, you know, like fun
jokes that could be fun. Yeah sure, But before we start, there's
someone very special here who was last on this show season three, forty six
years ago, poet, author and activist. Please welcome doctor Hattie Davis.
And yeah, Collins, you can start with your first joke. Hi.
Okay, So they pulled doctor Hattie Davis up and she's just in a chair
just to sit next to, just to sit Colin. Colin goes Hi wavesadder
pleasure. So you know what's about the code. And for those that don't
know, I should say this, Doctor Hattie Davis is an older black woman
just right sitting next to Colin. She's lift through some stuff. Here's Colin's
personal chow. Okay, you ready. Of geneticis not like Colin's faces ship
God. Colin is showing you that he is. He didn't know this was
planned, like he was like shocked that she was there. Of Geneticis have
announced plans to bring back the Dodo and reintroduce it to Africa. And if
you asked me, I can think of at least one Dodo I'd like to
reintroduce to Africa. The picture of Obama. The woe was an activist calling.
The woman was an activist calling. That's amazing to bring in someone to
sit shoulder to shoulder with him. Michael J plays dirty on this every year
because like not like he even last year at the end, like I think
it was the season, but now even he told the whole crowd like I
remember this, and he told him like, don't laughter in Collin's jokes.
So Colin, dude, joke to nothing, and he's like, do I
just suck? Okay, here's Michael J's first joke. Last month, Beyonce
posted a photo on Instagram of herself in a chrome Versace dress and platinum blonde
hair that many people on line described as too white. In fact, Beyonce
looked so white that I was finally attracted to her. Okay that he said,
all like, not a not a bad one though, right compared to
what Colin's having to do. Yeah, here's the second joke for Colin.
The Adult Survivors Act. Which allowed sex abuse victims to find lawsuits even after
the statute of limitations expired, has resulted in several new suits figures, because
bitches love bringing up old stuff. Am I right? The woman marched with
King on his card? It's turn? Am I right? Turned to her
and thought the dad and she just goes she shakes her head. No,
the woman marched with King. Okay, here's Michael J's second joke. I
said she was last joke. They were All Time Day, A musical about
the life of Michael Jackson, has become one of the highest grossing shows on
Broadway, and my review of the acting is the same as my opinion of
MJ's trial. Michael is amazing, but the kids are not believable at all.
But I don't want to end like that. It's the holidays and I
want to end on a positive, uplifting note, especially with all the turmoiling
and mitle east right now. So I want to say, from the bottom
of my heart, whether you're chew and short Muslim, y'all need Jesus,
good God. So Colin has to end it because he kinda got two in
right there. Well, that's an untouchable topic. The middle East. And
then this is Colin again reading a joke did Michael j roads for him?
New York State now allows movie theaters to serve alcohol, which is how I'm
finally able to enjoy my my wife's little art movie. Okay, it's a
picture of black widow. Okay, this is a great joke about his watch.
New York State now allows movie theaters to serve alcohol, which is how
I'm finally able to enjoy my wife's little art movie. I'm kidding, honey.
I love all of your movies, and if you ask me, you're
an even better black widow than Coretis guy God in front of Hattie Davis.
Okay, do you know who Hattie Davis is? Well, I've learned a
little bit over the weekend. But yeah, I'm like, there's no way
Colin you right? Well me maybe because no, Okay, I mean the
live show that with a lot of I mean they rehearsed this thing pretty good
over the weekend. So is this right that Hattie Davis is not a real
person? Oh? Is that true? Yeah? She's an actress. Daphne
Skeeter not like a real activist, was never on SNL, didn't march with
she was an actor really, yeah, just brought in to look like a
like incredibly accomplished, accomplished doctor. Okay. It was weird that you would
have someone and then not let them speak right, completely made up by Chay
for the sake of the bit. Okay, So I guess helps that takes
away the authenticity of the of the bit that But he wouldn't know it's sitting
there live, you know, he's like, all right, she looks the
part. Yeah, I don't think I don't think anyone would know that,
right. Yeah, that's incredible and that is a great bit. Gosh,
it's it's awesome every year. And if we could write quality jokes, I
would say, let's steal that RW. But clearly we can't if you listen
to the end of thank you Morning News, when even when I do it,
we're scouring the internet for some crappy joke that no one said yet.
So those two guys, and those guys are the I mean, Tollin's been
there longer, SU's the head writer, which Chase the co head writer or
whatever. Those guys and I'm talking about just those jokes. They would help
write all the sketches and stuff. Those guys have this talent where they can
crank out a hundred jokes just they can just do it, and they're so
good at writing so much stuff Bill and so many there don't make the cut.
Oh my god. Yeah, but I love I look forward to that
every years. The usually the Christmas episode. Sometimes they'll do it during the
finale. We'll see if they do. That's funny. It's sometimes shocking though,
if you were watching it and didn't hear the setup, you're like,
huh yeah, I mean when your calling goes, you're gonna get me killed.
But uh, all right, there we go. Very good. Yeah,
what's that review? What we thought would happened in Cowboys and Bills say,
if we get some points of the war, we're gonna hear from the
world's biggest Bills fan at eight thirty five as well, and then at nine
o'clock JJ's Top movies of twenty twenty three. We'll keep it going next on
ninety seven one to three