You're listening to the downbeat on ninety seven to one, the freaky hold back.
I got you. Good morning, Good morning? Were you talking to
me? Yeah? Oh, hey's sorry. I think he's doing to the
Metroplex. No, no, he's talking to me. This one's for them.
Good morning. Uh Still jammed up on that North tollway northbound between six
thirty five at least past Spring Valley. Be careful if you're head north.
That's K E g L traffic. Let me add that to your traffic report.
Jams pretty thorough well. Channel five six thirty five LBGM both directions shut
down at a near Elam for a police chase standoff. Of course it's ours
all right. Two issues. One, we only have one TV in here
that's functioning, uh so, and that's and that is not and they don't
have the guts to go to live coverage. No, we're alive. So
I've looked everywhere trying to find a streamer that there's no coverage of this outside
of a couple of random tweets. What are you hearing? A car chase
and standoff standoff at six point thirty five in Elm both directions? Really?
So, yeah, you're probably late work today. That's all right? Uh,
it has it has ended. According to Fox Forest Page, Ellenberger started
in rock Wall and into Southeast Dallas. Short standoff. The driver finally started
listening to officer commands. He was taken into custody peacefully. Great reporting Page,
Paige, she's a grinder. If Page has a question for men on
Valentine's Day that she couldn't ask anyone else, she can do that. She
can ask us here a nine o'clock we're gonna answer some of those questions of
the Mojo Dojo. We are always looking to subsidize our income, and to
do so on this show, we've created an assortment of products that we think
are like, I mean, they're quirky and they're weird, but they're kind
of fun and different, and they're associated with holidays often. We started with
the downbeat singing Pumpkin, something you could purchase and sit on your thing and
it's motion censored and someone walks up and it sings a little Halloween song for
you. And then we follow that up with the singing Christmas tree topper.
Obviously for the holiday season, same deal motion sensor songs to you know,
brighten your home brighten your household. And we made mistakes and we learned,
we got better and we've improved. And now today is Valentine's Day, so
we do want to introduce you to the latest exciting product you can get from
The Downbeat via Soroy Industries, and it's the Valentine's Day Singing Box of Chocolates.
Yeah. Now, I think there was some confusion on how this thing
worked. If it was like you open the top of the box and music
starts, or seems to make the most sense, seems cost effective, it's
simple, you know, just one thing. It just randomly plays them.
But we get up blowing our stack on too much. And then Kevin said,
each piece has a speaker on us switch that you got to turn on.
So it could be any of any of all of those. Just go
to your local floral shop and find out for yourself, get your hands on
it, pick one up today. But we would like to sort of demonstrate
what you'd be hearing if you opened up the Downbeat Singing Box of Chocolates right
here on Valentine's Day. And I think we have ten plus examples of what
you might hear. And I don't know there's no no particular order to this,
but if anybody's ready, I don't know. Here's the here's the box
of chocolates. All right, open it up and see what happens. Spout
chick a wild wild making whoopee, plowing in, I'm yowing you to lie,
the gooby, shagging in, a porking and a getting laid, tossing
the hot dog down the hallway, buttering the biscuit, and a knocking boots,
banging in and wanging at the human skeet shoot, slipping in a sliding
way beneath the sheets, lay the popped pinky panky, treats and eats,
bumping ugly's funny business, tapping ass, bacon the potato, using a hall
pass. These are rall slang for ex there are size I'm going to the
gym because I had a cream pie. Wow, it's pretty. It's not
often that the opening act blows away the headliner, but my god, it's
really really nice. I like to call that a tone setter. Mikey,
which artists sing these? Do? We find professional artists in the neighborhood or
unknown. Yeah, it's almost like they're live in the room, you know,
singing these songs. And we haven't heard the other two people's. Yeah,
yeah, it's weird like that, really strange, really strange. All
right, well we have a bunch, we sure do. Is there another
one in there? Here? You go, open up? Okay, let
me hit play on this. This this oddly shaped piece of candy. Yeah,
it's shaped like the texagon. That one is. All right? Here
we go take a look inside this hot shaved box and do me what you
see inside? Is it candy? Oh? No, it's a knife.
Because I'm a serial killer and tonight you're gonna die happy Valentine's Day. It's
really pretty? Was that one dark chocolate that was morbid? Wow? You
I'm sorry? Or you gotta put up with the battle system? It's on
the paper. Sure it is that that did take a turn and put it
is a pretty song? It was very pretty. You know it's a knife,
yea? Why it was soulful? H This one's called nasty. So
we'll see what's got here. So it says on the nasty huh yeah,
okay, how do you make it nasty? How do you keep it hot?
How do you keep it sexy? How do you hit the spot?
How do you keep it juicy? Feel like a big shot. You just
go to new fine arts and they will give you what you need. You
just go to new fine arts. Cousin. Men are obsolete. Okay,
interesting, I'm alive, live spot very good though. Men are obsolete.
Yeah, when you think about it, we don't matter if we If we
weren't obsolete, there wouldn't be gallantine. Yeah. Right. They can find
things that that gy right better than what we have because it's not how God
made it for us. Those two people who did all those songs, they
know what they're doing. They sound good. But we also had some amateursdy
songs for this. You know, there's it's a cost cutting method. Yeah,
and we also believe in opening up the doors to the careers of potential
new artists. Yeah. Coming out of d FW, we support. They
don't know when to start the song or ended, and it's just really hard
to put these together if you're not really musically inclined. I think for some
of them, here we go, let's just get through this. There's nothing
to fear. We've got to do this. It's just once a year,
it's time for our annual sex and we both look like hell, we're both
gigantic because all we eat is talkco bell, you kidd a taco bell.
That's pretty annual sex. Gorgeous, gorgeous. That was gorgeous. That's a
soulful little ball. Annual sex. Yeah brings it up. Yeah, that
brings it up. He didn't mispronounce annual, right, Just make him chill,
Just check it, all right. I gotta get ready with this one.
All right, here's one for Valentine's Day from the Singing Box of Downbeat
Chocolates. Okay, it's not the length of your auburn head. It's not
the crook up your smile. It's not the whispers you speak in my it's
not your elegant style. It's not the way that you hold my hand.
It's not your kisses and huns. Let me be perfectly honest. It's your
jugs. Wow. He's describing many ways that she appeals to him on Valentine's
I think honesty, but she said, he said, it's not all.
It's not just that I think honesty is important on this god day, Valentine's
Day. You ever stayed with a terrible girlfriend because she had a great rack,
boy, I have bliss. Kevin Turner on Mike Siroy Boobs and ass
hot Hot J Jackson proud to stand beside us for this segment where J what
we are spreading love? Right? I think we are. Look, I
think we are spreading lots of love. This one is I saw Mikey's face
and he's like, yeah, I know what's coming. What rhymes with hugs?
He shot back about ten feet he's been sliding. Uh. This one
I saw. It's called clothes pins. She just got back from the store
with some new clothes pins. Takes them out of the bag and puts them
on my nips, my ariola's. They're on fire, my ariola's feel the
desire. It's the only way I can get an erection. This is where
the inflammation takes a toe long me. I wish I could have normal and
mescy. So now while just of my face, it was like kind of
like a day in the life the Beatles song, Like there's different parts,
but it does make up one big, beautiful song. That song had a
second movement, yeah, like an outro classical music, you know, yeah,
different movements like a weird outro. I really you can tell the mood
changed. It's a little bit interesting introspective about inflammation. Yeah, very good,
all right. I mean that box of chocolates, it's open her up,
someone's kind of I think it speeds up the vibe a little bit.
Just reach in the box and grab a piece of chocolate. Anyone will do,
because every single human on earth this having sex. Accept you. I'm
talking every adult in every single building in every single city, in every single
country. Legal teens and scene yours, handy Captain, Abel amputees in four
Land, Jews in Palestinians, Beyonce fans and swift He's Democrats, Republicans,
Tutsis and the hoo To, Bush Brothers Living earn Hearts, Russians and Ukrainians,
yelling and passion intertwine find in ecstasy. We're all having sex except you.
Wow, brilliant, brilliant, You're like Jesus, you get me.
That was fantastic. I like that one, very cool, dancy and and
funarts. Yeah, I think it was Bush Brothers Living Hearts America. You
can't handle the chord problem, but it's okay, hey man, whoever is
saying that, Yeah, maybe he black in in in vocal skills makes up
for its. Just a phenomenal lyricist. Yeah, It's kind of like the
Leonard Cohen of you fight. An artist like that will get past the Yeah,
maybe what they like Dylan for example, the boys getting some text feedback
just real quick. I'm scared to look. Just got out of a terrible
four year relationship because of nice Joe. Also, these songs are getting me
hot. Yeah, so that's good, and I would like to say too.
I'm hearing my friends ordered a rapa hoe floral and these are just flying
off the show already. But it's actually the employees removing them and putting them
back in their box more popular items front. Okay, once they heard what
they actually do, flying off the shelves, heading backwards to storage. This
one is called a healthy as a Horse and I think completed in here we
go? Is it working? JJ? Here we go? Why isn't it
working? Maybe this is it? Oh my god? Here? But you
know, sex is overrated. I just masturbated and now I'm feeling healthy as
a horse. Love is overrated. It just makes you frustrated. And now
I'm feeling happy as a horse. So that's when I decided to walk on
all fours and try it. And now I'm turning into a horse. I'm
eating Hey for dinner. A future triple crown winner. I posted online that
I'm now a horse farmaro see biscuit, I'm a thoroughbred king Smarty Jones,
black beauty. They will hear me sing, mister red BoJack horsemen, they
will run TV secretariat. Seattle Slew got nothing on me. Sens is overrated.
I just masterbated, and now I'm feeling healthy as a horse. Love
is overrated. It just makes you frustrated. And now I'm feeling happy as
a legend. Just the string section almost tole the show on that beautiful song.
But yeah, what a journey, now, a great story with the
happy ending. Oh my god, because I couldn't tell if he was metaphor,
but then he was wanted to be an actual hord. It's weird his
furry How did that get? I guess to appeal to the furry community.
The passion, though, Yeah, the passion that that song was fueled by
is unparalleled by anything I've ever heard in the history of music. Is I
mean really pretty? I'm touched, like I feel something after that shout out
to Ludwig von Beethoven. I just learned a new word. I was talking
to Yvonne. I don't know why he told me that an I means screw
apparenturarently. Okay, Hey, this box is three color I remection flag on
top of this for a wow. Felisa Tornior, Felisa Dornier, Felisa torniar
Is sparro keetoo thing gone sex home Felisa Tornire Yeah, Felisa Tornia, Felisa
torniar Is sparro Keeto those hexts done sex o. I love that you appealed
to Hispanics, Hispanics. Thanks incredible, Kevin. Yeah, I think that
means happy screwing. We're happy screw Yeah, heavy screw. Conjugation was the
artist specialty. Let's be squirrel. But we have a lot of different listeners
and we're lucky to live in a bilingual area. Let's go, let's give
a lot. I think you're glad. The chocolate box represents allay what I'm
saying inclusive. Yeah, uh here, VD furvy day, what you're gonna
do and it won't go away? You got v d V day, irresponsible,
Now you have to pay. You got v d V Day. Didn't
wear acondo manu ruther day. You got v d V Day it's nasty and
it's burning and it won't go away. V Day feeling pretty lonely, swiping
down the apse and who is gonna bone me? So you meet up for
a first date. She thinks you're kind of funny. This is going great.
Then one thing leads to the next. Oh my god, you're gonna
have sex. She asked you for a meat injection. You never even thought
about using protection. You got feedd, babe. What you're gonna do on
it won't go away? You god feedd baby, pelvic pain hotter than Java
John's latte. You god feed didn't wear a condo, Manya rus a day
you got v The ulcers are hurting and they won't go away, beautiful.
I like how you artists from the hip hop community for that middle part.
You can hear that one in the club, you know, I think a
lot of people for Valentine's Day. That might be something you want to do.
Take your lover to the club and go dancing. You know, that's
a good way to get get your partner all lathered up and ready for fun
when you get home. And this song kind of might be something you would
hear at the club. Let's go out on Valentine's Day. Let's get wild
on Valentine's Day. Let's have drinks on Valentine's Day. One in the stink
on Valentine's Day. It's a gift from me to you, unexpected. Yes,
that's true, a deep expression of love for you. Some consider this
a real breakthrough. But the only thing you say to me is ouch ouch
ouch ouch ouch out Coming up next? Yuck? What's coming up next?
In Dingo's Morning News, I have no freaking idea. Lots of stuff,
fun and games. Okay, I will tease something for Valentine's Day. A
thirty nine year old woman from Minnesota thought it'd be a good idea to go
on a family vacation and shag two fifteen year old hockey players in a hot
tub. Stick around for that