WEBVTT

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You're listening to the downbeat on ninety
seven to one, the freaky hold back.

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I got you. Good morning,
Good morning? Were you talking to

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me? Yeah? Oh, hey's
sorry. I think he's doing to the

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Metroplex. No, no, he's
talking to me. This one's for them.

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Good morning. Uh Still jammed up
on that North tollway northbound between six

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thirty five at least past Spring Valley. Be careful if you're head north.

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That's K E g L traffic.
Let me add that to your traffic report.

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Jams pretty thorough well. Channel five
six thirty five LBGM both directions shut

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down at a near Elam for a
police chase standoff. Of course it's ours

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all right. Two issues. One, we only have one TV in here

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that's functioning, uh so, and
that's and that is not and they don't

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have the guts to go to live
coverage. No, we're alive. So

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I've looked everywhere trying to find a
streamer that there's no coverage of this outside

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of a couple of random tweets.
What are you hearing? A car chase

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and standoff standoff at six point thirty
five in Elm both directions? Really?

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So, yeah, you're probably late
work today. That's all right? Uh,

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it has it has ended. According
to Fox Forest Page, Ellenberger started

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in rock Wall and into Southeast Dallas. Short standoff. The driver finally started

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listening to officer commands. He was
taken into custody peacefully. Great reporting Page,

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Paige, she's a grinder. If
Page has a question for men on

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Valentine's Day that she couldn't ask anyone
else, she can do that. She

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can ask us here a nine o'clock
we're gonna answer some of those questions of

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the Mojo Dojo. We are always
looking to subsidize our income, and to

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do so on this show, we've
created an assortment of products that we think

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are like, I mean, they're
quirky and they're weird, but they're kind

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of fun and different, and they're
associated with holidays often. We started with

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the downbeat singing Pumpkin, something you
could purchase and sit on your thing and

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it's motion censored and someone walks up
and it sings a little Halloween song for

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you. And then we follow that
up with the singing Christmas tree topper.

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Obviously for the holiday season, same
deal motion sensor songs to you know,

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brighten your home brighten your household.
And we made mistakes and we learned,

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we got better and we've improved.
And now today is Valentine's Day, so

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we do want to introduce you to
the latest exciting product you can get from

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The Downbeat via Soroy Industries, and
it's the Valentine's Day Singing Box of Chocolates.

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Yeah. Now, I think there
was some confusion on how this thing

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worked. If it was like you
open the top of the box and music

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starts, or seems to make the
most sense, seems cost effective, it's

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simple, you know, just one
thing. It just randomly plays them.

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But we get up blowing our stack
on too much. And then Kevin said,

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each piece has a speaker on us
switch that you got to turn on.

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So it could be any of any
of all of those. Just go

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to your local floral shop and find
out for yourself, get your hands on

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it, pick one up today.
But we would like to sort of demonstrate

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what you'd be hearing if you opened
up the Downbeat Singing Box of Chocolates right

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here on Valentine's Day. And I
think we have ten plus examples of what

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you might hear. And I don't
know there's no no particular order to this,

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but if anybody's ready, I don't
know. Here's the here's the box

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of chocolates. All right, open
it up and see what happens. Spout

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chick a wild wild making whoopee,
plowing in, I'm yowing you to lie,

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the gooby, shagging in, a
porking and a getting laid, tossing

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the hot dog down the hallway,
buttering the biscuit, and a knocking boots,

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banging in and wanging at the human
skeet shoot, slipping in a sliding

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way beneath the sheets, lay the
popped pinky panky, treats and eats,

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bumping ugly's funny business, tapping ass, bacon the potato, using a hall

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pass. These are rall slang for
ex there are size I'm going to the

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gym because I had a cream pie. Wow, it's pretty. It's not

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often that the opening act blows away
the headliner, but my god, it's

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really really nice. I like to
call that a tone setter. Mikey,

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which artists sing these? Do?
We find professional artists in the neighborhood or

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unknown. Yeah, it's almost like
they're live in the room, you know,

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singing these songs. And we haven't
heard the other two people's. Yeah,

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yeah, it's weird like that,
really strange, really strange. All

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right, well we have a bunch, we sure do. Is there another

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one in there? Here? You
go, open up? Okay, let

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me hit play on this. This
this oddly shaped piece of candy. Yeah,

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it's shaped like the texagon. That
one is. All right? Here

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we go take a look inside this
hot shaved box and do me what you

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see inside? Is it candy?
Oh? No, it's a knife.

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Because I'm a serial killer and tonight
you're gonna die happy Valentine's Day. It's

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really pretty? Was that one dark
chocolate that was morbid? Wow? You

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I'm sorry? Or you gotta put
up with the battle system? It's on

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the paper. Sure it is that
that did take a turn and put it

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is a pretty song? It was
very pretty. You know it's a knife,

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yea? Why it was soulful?
H This one's called nasty. So

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we'll see what's got here. So
it says on the nasty huh yeah,

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okay, how do you make it
nasty? How do you keep it hot?

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How do you keep it sexy?
How do you hit the spot?

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How do you keep it juicy?
Feel like a big shot. You just

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go to new fine arts and they
will give you what you need. You

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just go to new fine arts.
Cousin. Men are obsolete. Okay,

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interesting, I'm alive, live spot
very good though. Men are obsolete.

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Yeah, when you think about it, we don't matter if we If we

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weren't obsolete, there wouldn't be gallantine. Yeah. Right. They can find

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things that that gy right better than
what we have because it's not how God

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made it for us. Those two
people who did all those songs, they

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know what they're doing. They sound
good. But we also had some amateursdy

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songs for this. You know,
there's it's a cost cutting method. Yeah,

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and we also believe in opening up
the doors to the careers of potential

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new artists. Yeah. Coming out
of d FW, we support. They

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don't know when to start the song
or ended, and it's just really hard

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to put these together if you're not
really musically inclined. I think for some

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of them, here we go,
let's just get through this. There's nothing

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to fear. We've got to do
this. It's just once a year,

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it's time for our annual sex and
we both look like hell, we're both

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gigantic because all we eat is talkco
bell, you kidd a taco bell.

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That's pretty annual sex. Gorgeous,
gorgeous. That was gorgeous. That's a

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soulful little ball. Annual sex.
Yeah brings it up. Yeah, that

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brings it up. He didn't mispronounce
annual, right, Just make him chill,

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Just check it, all right.
I gotta get ready with this one.

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All right, here's one for Valentine's
Day from the Singing Box of Downbeat

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Chocolates. Okay, it's not the
length of your auburn head. It's not

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the crook up your smile. It's
not the whispers you speak in my it's

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not your elegant style. It's not
the way that you hold my hand.

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It's not your kisses and huns.
Let me be perfectly honest. It's your

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jugs. Wow. He's describing many
ways that she appeals to him on Valentine's

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I think honesty, but she said, he said, it's not all.

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It's not just that I think honesty
is important on this god day, Valentine's

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Day. You ever stayed with a
terrible girlfriend because she had a great rack,

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boy, I have bliss. Kevin
Turner on Mike Siroy Boobs and ass

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hot Hot J Jackson proud to stand
beside us for this segment where J what

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we are spreading love? Right?
I think we are. Look, I

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think we are spreading lots of love. This one is I saw Mikey's face

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and he's like, yeah, I
know what's coming. What rhymes with hugs?

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He shot back about ten feet he's
been sliding. Uh. This one

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I saw. It's called clothes pins. She just got back from the store

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with some new clothes pins. Takes
them out of the bag and puts them

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on my nips, my ariola's.
They're on fire, my ariola's feel the

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desire. It's the only way I
can get an erection. This is where

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the inflammation takes a toe long me. I wish I could have normal and

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mescy. So now while just of
my face, it was like kind of

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like a day in the life the
Beatles song, Like there's different parts,

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but it does make up one big, beautiful song. That song had a

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second movement, yeah, like an
outro classical music, you know, yeah,

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different movements like a weird outro.
I really you can tell the mood

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changed. It's a little bit interesting
introspective about inflammation. Yeah, very good,

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all right. I mean that box
of chocolates, it's open her up,

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someone's kind of I think it speeds
up the vibe a little bit.

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Just reach in the box and grab
a piece of chocolate. Anyone will do,

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because every single human on earth this
having sex. Accept you. I'm

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talking every adult in every single building
in every single city, in every single

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country. Legal teens and scene yours, handy Captain, Abel amputees in four

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Land, Jews in Palestinians, Beyonce
fans and swift He's Democrats, Republicans,

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Tutsis and the hoo To, Bush
Brothers Living earn Hearts, Russians and Ukrainians,

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yelling and passion intertwine find in ecstasy. We're all having sex except you.

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Wow, brilliant, brilliant, You're
like Jesus, you get me.

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That was fantastic. I like that
one, very cool, dancy and and

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funarts. Yeah, I think it
was Bush Brothers Living Hearts America. You

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can't handle the chord problem, but
it's okay, hey man, whoever is

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saying that, Yeah, maybe he
black in in in vocal skills makes up

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for its. Just a phenomenal lyricist. Yeah, It's kind of like the

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Leonard Cohen of you fight. An
artist like that will get past the Yeah,

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maybe what they like Dylan for example, the boys getting some text feedback

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just real quick. I'm scared to
look. Just got out of a terrible

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four year relationship because of nice Joe. Also, these songs are getting me

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hot. Yeah, so that's good, and I would like to say too.

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I'm hearing my friends ordered a rapa
hoe floral and these are just flying

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off the show already. But it's
actually the employees removing them and putting them

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back in their box more popular items
front. Okay, once they heard what

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they actually do, flying off the
shelves, heading backwards to storage. This

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one is called a healthy as a
Horse and I think completed in here we

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go? Is it working? JJ? Here we go? Why isn't it

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working? Maybe this is it?
Oh my god? Here? But you

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know, sex is overrated. I
just masturbated and now I'm feeling healthy as

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a horse. Love is overrated.
It just makes you frustrated. And now

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I'm feeling happy as a horse.
So that's when I decided to walk on

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all fours and try it. And
now I'm turning into a horse. I'm

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eating Hey for dinner. A future
triple crown winner. I posted online that

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I'm now a horse farmaro see biscuit, I'm a thoroughbred king Smarty Jones,

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black beauty. They will hear me
sing, mister red BoJack horsemen, they

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will run TV secretariat. Seattle Slew
got nothing on me. Sens is overrated.

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I just masterbated, and now I'm
feeling healthy as a horse. Love

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is overrated. It just makes you
frustrated. And now I'm feeling happy as

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a legend. Just the string section
almost tole the show on that beautiful song.

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But yeah, what a journey,
now, a great story with the

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happy ending. Oh my god,
because I couldn't tell if he was metaphor,

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but then he was wanted to be
an actual hord. It's weird his

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furry How did that get? I
guess to appeal to the furry community.

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The passion, though, Yeah,
the passion that that song was fueled by

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is unparalleled by anything I've ever heard
in the history of music. Is I

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mean really pretty? I'm touched,
like I feel something after that shout out

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to Ludwig von Beethoven. I just
learned a new word. I was talking

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to Yvonne. I don't know why
he told me that an I means screw

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apparenturarently. Okay, Hey, this
box is three color I remection flag on

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00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:19.440
top of this for a wow.
Felisa Tornior, Felisa Dornier, Felisa torniar

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00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:32.720
Is sparro keetoo thing gone sex home
Felisa Tornire Yeah, Felisa Tornia, Felisa

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00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:44.160
torniar Is sparro Keeto those hexts done
sex o. I love that you appealed

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00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:52.599
to Hispanics, Hispanics. Thanks incredible, Kevin. Yeah, I think that

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00:19:52.640 --> 00:20:00.119
means happy screwing. We're happy screw
Yeah, heavy screw. Conjugation was the

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00:20:00.200 --> 00:20:04.920
artist specialty. Let's be squirrel.
But we have a lot of different listeners

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and we're lucky to live in a
bilingual area. Let's go, let's give

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a lot. I think you're glad. The chocolate box represents allay what I'm

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saying inclusive. Yeah, uh here, VD furvy day, what you're gonna

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do and it won't go away?
You got v d V day, irresponsible,

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Now you have to pay. You
got v d V Day. Didn't

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00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:56.559
wear acondo manu ruther day. You
got v d V Day it's nasty and

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00:20:56.759 --> 00:21:03.079
it's burning and it won't go away. V Day feeling pretty lonely, swiping

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00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:06.200
down the apse and who is gonna
bone me? So you meet up for

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a first date. She thinks you're
kind of funny. This is going great.

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Then one thing leads to the next. Oh my god, you're gonna

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00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:17.160
have sex. She asked you for
a meat injection. You never even thought

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00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:23.839
about using protection. You got feedd, babe. What you're gonna do on

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00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:33.559
it won't go away? You god
feedd baby, pelvic pain hotter than Java

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00:21:33.720 --> 00:21:45.000
John's latte. You god feed didn't
wear a condo, Manya rus a day

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00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:56.680
you got v The ulcers are hurting
and they won't go away, beautiful.

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I like how you artists from the
hip hop community for that middle part.

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You can hear that one in the
club, you know, I think a

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lot of people for Valentine's Day.
That might be something you want to do.

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Take your lover to the club and
go dancing. You know, that's

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00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:18.200
a good way to get get your
partner all lathered up and ready for fun

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when you get home. And this
song kind of might be something you would

201
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hear at the club. Let's go
out on Valentine's Day. Let's get wild

202
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on Valentine's Day. Let's have drinks
on Valentine's Day. One in the stink

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on Valentine's Day. It's a gift
from me to you, unexpected. Yes,

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that's true, a deep expression of
love for you. Some consider this

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a real breakthrough. But the only
thing you say to me is ouch ouch

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ouch ouch ouch out Coming up next? Yuck? What's coming up next?

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In Dingo's Morning News, I have
no freaking idea. Lots of stuff,

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fun and games. Okay, I
will tease something for Valentine's Day. A

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thirty nine year old woman from Minnesota
thought it'd be a good idea to go

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on a family vacation and shag two
fifteen year old hockey players in a hot

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tub. Stick around for that