WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:02.879 Hi everyone, and welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia 2 00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:06.080 Gogin, the host of the globe Secast podcast. Why I help you expand 3 00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:09.240 your mind and become more self awares that you can glow up into the best 4 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:14.199 version of yourself. How are we doing Happy Monday? I was gone last 5 00:00:14.199 --> 00:00:18.399 week because I had my gum procedure. It's still not fully healed, so 6 00:00:18.519 --> 00:00:21.679 I'm not going to show it on camera yet. My mouth is a little 7 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:23.719 bit weird when it comes to talking, but I think I'm fine, Like 8 00:00:23.719 --> 00:00:26.640 I think it sounds pretty good. My teeth look amazing and really happy with 9 00:00:26.679 --> 00:00:29.160 it. They still need to heal. I'm going to give you guys, 10 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:32.240 like an entire recap of it because I got a lot of questions about that 11 00:00:32.359 --> 00:00:36.600 on the March recap episode. I'm gonna do like a whole, like long, 12 00:00:36.920 --> 00:00:40.560 off topic type of episode because I have a lot of things to say. 13 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:45.880 So today's episode, I want to talk about why you are not getting 14 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:52.000 specific things in your life. And these are a few things that I've been 15 00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:58.079 really observing in my own life, but also just things that I have gone 16 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:02.840 through, like the process of continuously creating the life of my dreams. I 17 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:07.519 have learned some very important lessons, I should say. So these are some 18 00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:14.480 of the things that tend to come up when you find yourself like not getting 19 00:01:14.519 --> 00:01:18.439 what it is that you want in your life. Specific things you want the 20 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:22.719 relationship, you want to be this YouTuber, you want to have more money, 21 00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:23.959 you want to have a new role in your life, you want to 22 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:29.040 have this home. You want to have all of these things, but it 23 00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:33.879 just feels like you're either not making progress towards it or it just feels so 24 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:37.120 hard. It feels out of touch, out of reach. Da da da. 25 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:42.319 So I want to talk about a few obstacles that get in the way 26 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:46.280 and why you know, yes, there's always going to be things out of 27 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:48.959 your control and this that, But I feel like a lot of you guys 28 00:01:49.159 --> 00:01:52.920 understand that you, for the most part, are very big creators of your 29 00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:56.159 own reality and your own life. At least those are the people that I'm 30 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:57.719 speaking to, and that is who I am and that is what I do 31 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:02.560 over here on the channel. So with that kind of in mind, like 32 00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:06.879 you being this creator of your own reality, here's a few things that might 33 00:02:06.920 --> 00:02:12.039 be obstacles of yours that you could get advice on so that you can continue 34 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:15.039 to create your reality because you can, like you really can. So the 35 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:21.800 first obstacle that I think a lot of people struggle with is their own fears. 36 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:25.560 And I talked about this in last week's podcast episode. And what I 37 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:34.039 mean fears is when you want to step into a new role in your life, 38 00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:39.919 let's say becoming a coach that is going to require you to use different 39 00:02:39.919 --> 00:02:45.639 things that maybe you have learned in schooling. In order to become a coach 40 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:50.240 and a good skilled coach, you're gonna need to try and practice and put 41 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:53.479 yourself out there. But a lot of people, even myself, when you 42 00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:57.719 need to do something for the first time, you get in your own way 43 00:02:57.759 --> 00:03:01.719 because you are afraid. But in order for you to be the successful coach 44 00:03:01.719 --> 00:03:05.240 that you want, or to be this person that has X, Y and 45 00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:09.479 Z, you have to try. So I talked about this in last week's 46 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:14.439 episode, so please go back if you want to have me expand on that. 47 00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:17.360 But like, in order for you to get certain things in your life, 48 00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:23.439 you have to try because it requires a new version of you. Even 49 00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:27.159 when it comes to let's say dating, you want a marriage or you want 50 00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:30.919 a boyfriend, if you do not get out of your own way and put 51 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:35.800 yourself out there and try. I'm not saying you have to try so hard, 52 00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:39.520 but genuinely, like if you're somebody who is afraid of dating but you 53 00:03:39.599 --> 00:03:45.800 want a relationship, you have to eventually go on that first date. So 54 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:47.360 you have to get yourself to a point where you will go on that first 55 00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:51.360 date. And I talk about that in last week's episode, like some of 56 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:55.080 the things to kind of help you really take that first step. The same 57 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:59.159 thing as like taking the first step when it comes to recording a YouTube video. 58 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:01.120 If you want to be YouTuber, what you have to do is you 59 00:04:01.159 --> 00:04:05.080 have to record the video eventually. And sometimes we just get so stuck on 60 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:09.479 like not doing that thing, but then you're never gonna be able to even 61 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:13.680 have a chance of getting that thing if you don't do it now. The 62 00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:16.759 second thing, and it's so big, and this is kind of what sparked 63 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:23.319 my interest in having this conversation on the podcast today is your external environment. 64 00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:31.279 The world is set up for you to continue to second guess yourself and continue 65 00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:36.519 to second guess your desires and your goals, and god damn, do you 66 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:42.120 let it. And I'm saying you because me as well. We grow up 67 00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:46.920 in a society where there is a million opinions on what you should do, 68 00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:48.839 how you should think, what you should be, what you can have, 69 00:04:48.959 --> 00:04:55.000 what you can't have, and you're gonna find yourself through your entire life essentially 70 00:04:55.720 --> 00:04:59.399 having people tell you to do things this way, or you should have this 71 00:04:59.519 --> 00:05:01.519 in your life, or you should have relationships like this, or this is 72 00:05:01.560 --> 00:05:05.160 how. This is the only thing you can get in your life always and 73 00:05:05.199 --> 00:05:10.079 you have to understand that because you're gonna have to have a level of persisting 74 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:15.600 through whatever bullshit that is coming your way and reminding yourself, I can get 75 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:18.480 what I want in my life and understanding though that there's going to just be 76 00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:24.720 people who speak from their own viewpoint and their own thing. But but that 77 00:05:25.079 --> 00:05:29.160 is not a determinate. You don't let those people places things and be a 78 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:31.040 determinate of what you get in your life. And what I mean by the 79 00:05:31.079 --> 00:05:34.279 world is set up to make you second guess yourself. You know a lot 80 00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:39.079 of people in your life, it's not like they know that they're trying to 81 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:43.040 make you second guess yourself. Like a lot of people have good intentions, 82 00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:45.639 right, I'm just kind of saying that as like a general statement, but 83 00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:48.560 the world in terms of you go to like not everything is bad, is 84 00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:53.160 what I'm trying to say. You have to go to school and learn certain 85 00:05:53.199 --> 00:05:56.959 things. You have friends and family who want the best for you, and 86 00:05:57.000 --> 00:06:00.000 they have certain opinions and they tell you to do certain things. You have 87 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:06.480 friends in certain fields of career paths that think you should do your career this 88 00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:11.959 way, or speak in this way, or help heal people in this way, 89 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:15.399 or have a certain job this way. It doesn't mean that they're wrong, 90 00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:19.199 but it also doesn't mean that you're wrong either, and that you shouldn't 91 00:06:19.519 --> 00:06:24.319 go for what you really want in your life. And I think that that 92 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:29.680 is what gets in a lot of our ways. You know, sometimes you 93 00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:32.560 really value someone else's opinion, you value what people are doing, You look 94 00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:39.560 up to people, but reminding yourself that there's not gonna be just one way 95 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:44.600 to do something, and what do you want for your life? What feels 96 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:46.480 good to you? And I know it can't always be we do everything we 97 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.839 want everything feels good, and that there's gonna be a level of you being 98 00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:53.439 so uncomfortable with getting what you want in your life. But you know, 99 00:06:53.639 --> 00:06:57.639 what you freaking want, so you need to go for it. And I 100 00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:00.720 think about this in the sense of, you know, being a YouTuber or 101 00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:10.959 even a podcaster. There are people in my immediate life who don't necessarily think 102 00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:18.959 that podcasting is the best way to have a career path or even maybe help 103 00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:24.000 people. I'll just keep it at that. And I have never been somebody 104 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.639 who's let somebody really decide what I get to have in my life, because 105 00:07:27.800 --> 00:07:31.040 it's always really been me. But that doesn't mean that their opinions don't affect 106 00:07:31.079 --> 00:07:35.319 me, especially if I respect them, especially if what they're doing in their 107 00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:39.800 lives is great. You know, like it's easy to kind of put that 108 00:07:39.959 --> 00:07:44.839 aside when somebody who's clearly like not on like any sort of levels telling you 109 00:07:45.240 --> 00:07:47.759 that. But what happens when you actually have people in your life where you 110 00:07:47.800 --> 00:07:50.959 do respect them, they do have a good career, they do have X, 111 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:54.800 Y and Z. That's gonna get in your head a little bit. 112 00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:59.120 You're gonna start second guessing yourself a little bit. But it doesn't mean that 113 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:03.439 they are right though, Like, yes, you can listen to other people's 114 00:08:03.480 --> 00:08:07.600 opinions, and you know, you have to understand the level of like self 115 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:13.600 awareness that they might have for you. But again, people still even if 116 00:08:13.639 --> 00:08:16.519 they're not trying to tear you down or trying to like make you go in 117 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:20.720 this this path, this one path, they have a way of viewing life 118 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:24.519 and what they think is right. And it might be right and true for 119 00:08:24.600 --> 00:08:28.160 them, but it doesn't mean it's right for you. And you can't let 120 00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:35.519 that deteriorates, that is not the word. Make you detour, sorry, 121 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:41.399 off of what you know you want in your life. Stop letting people who 122 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:46.840 are telling you know in the most subtle ways that you can't have what you 123 00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:52.080 want and it's a no and this that and make you fall back and make 124 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:54.720 you stay small and make you not go for what it is that you want. 125 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:01.159 You have to be shameless. You are really your only advocate in life, 126 00:09:01.200 --> 00:09:05.679 as much as you will have people who obviously support you. But like 127 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:09.919 you know, again, I don't know, just bringing it back to you're 128 00:09:09.960 --> 00:09:15.799 not always gonna have everyone's approval with things in life. You just can't possibly 129 00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:20.440 because everyone's on their own journey. Even for me, like my advice and 130 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:24.039 how I think can move through the world is pretty open. But the end 131 00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:26.279 of the day, like if there's something that's not resonating with you from me, 132 00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:30.720 I'm it's fine. You know, you got to do your own thing. 133 00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:35.360 And I think we focus a lot on our external because that's the most 134 00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:39.440 like three D real quote unquote real thing that's happening in our lives. So 135 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:43.240 let's say somebody's rejecting you, or somebody's saying no, or you have really 136 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:50.000 crabby circumstances. Of course those things are gonna make you believe that you can't 137 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:52.240 have what you want, or I'm not worthy, or I'm not X, 138 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:58.440 Y and Z. Do not let these things determine what it is that you 139 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:03.759 really want, want and know that you want in your life. It is 140 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:07.720 unfortunate sometimes that you might have people who are saying no or telling you this 141 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:09.799 is wrong, or you might just have crappy circumstances when you're really trying to 142 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:15.720 get out of it. Let it be. Do not let these things bring 143 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:18.840 you down, and over time, eventually, when you keep persisting, you 144 00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:26.240 will start to create a reality where you are being a well. Really, 145 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:31.600 the universe is reflecting to you what you believe about yourself in the world, 146 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:33.200 which is I can have what I want, this is what I want. 147 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:37.320 I am persisting until I get it, and you will start to see it, 148 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:41.200 but at first sometimes you don't see it. But don't let those things 149 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:45.759 make you fall back, I guess, is what I'm saying. And there 150 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:50.240 is this Pinterest quote that I found that I really have been thinking about a 151 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:52.159 lot, so I'm going to quickly read it. It says there are three 152 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:56.480 rules. Number one, if you do not go after what you want, 153 00:10:56.679 --> 00:11:00.799 you will never have it. And can we just stop and think about that 154 00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:05.639 for a moment, And this leads back to last week's episode. If you 155 00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:09.600 never take that step, you will not have it. One hundred percent chance 156 00:11:09.639 --> 00:11:11.799 do that. You will not have what you want in your life. You 157 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:16.879 will not step into that career or have that career role if you don't step 158 00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:18.600 into it and take that action or whatever. Okay, so that's one. 159 00:11:18.759 --> 00:11:22.600 Or even when it comes to going on a date or if you're in a 160 00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:26.240 relationship, asking for what you want. Number two, if you do not 161 00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:31.559 ask, the answer will always be no. And this makes you think about 162 00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:37.080 when it comes to like negotiating, and you know, even when it comes 163 00:11:37.159 --> 00:11:43.000 to anything in relationships, you know you have to keep being your own advocate. 164 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:46.840 What do you want and need in a relationship. Be persistent with that 165 00:11:48.519 --> 00:11:52.559 and stand in that. You know what you need. You know you need 166 00:11:52.600 --> 00:11:54.840 somebody who's predictable. You know you need somebody who is going to commit, 167 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:58.919 who's going to show up, who is going to X, Y and z 168 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:03.679 Okay, you know that you have to persist in that. And I'm not 169 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:07.600 saying like actually demand it from like a man, or demand it from somebody 170 00:12:07.639 --> 00:12:11.399 like we use different we move and show those signs of what we need like 171 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:16.399 in different ways. But I just mean like generally, you have to ask 172 00:12:16.440 --> 00:12:18.600 for what you want and if you do not, the answer is gonna be 173 00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:24.000 no. So don't be upset when you aren't getting something in your life when 174 00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:28.159 really you have not asked. And number three, if you do not step 175 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:31.200 forward, you will remain in the same place, which is technically kind of 176 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:35.320 like the first one and goes back to last week's episode. But you have 177 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:37.960 to do something. You have to think a new thought, you need to 178 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:41.919 focus on something else, you need to take an action, you need to 179 00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:43.879 something. Now. I was kind of just talking about this, but the 180 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:48.960 next thing, the next obstacle in which I think is the reason why sometimes 181 00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:52.240 you don't get what you want in your life or you haven't been is because 182 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:58.440 you're not being specific enough now at first, when you're wanting something in your 183 00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:03.360 life, any thing of a goal, you don't have to be so specific 184 00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:07.000 and like anything is good kind of thing. And also we want to be 185 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:11.399 careful with not obsessing over goals. I talk about that a lot, but 186 00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:16.840 sometimes genuinely you are not being specific, and that kind of ties into what 187 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:20.360 I was saying about, well not what I was saying, but like it 188 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:24.000 ties into having confidence in asking for what you want. And just like you 189 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:30.480 have to ask type thing like what is it in your life that you want? 190 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:33.559 And I have like two examples that I'll quickly just say so you can 191 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:39.559 kind of see what I mean. You might be somebody who's getting upset that 192 00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:46.120 you don't have the lifestyle of an entrepreneur, time freedom, you don't make 193 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:48.559 as much money as you want. You're not a like you don't have a 194 00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:52.639 YouTuber lifestyle or a podcast or lifestyle or a lifestyle in which that you want. 195 00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:56.120 That's more of like whatever you don't want obviously, and most likely you 196 00:13:56.159 --> 00:14:00.799 probably are working like a job you don't like, or you don't have a 197 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:03.960 lot of time freedom. Okay, so you're getting mad that you don't have 198 00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:11.360 that lifestyle. Right, let's say bring it back to specifically a YouTuber lifestyle 199 00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:15.120 whatever you think that is in your head. If you're getting upset that you 200 00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:22.399 don't have a lifestyle of a certain YouTuber, you were most likely not specific 201 00:14:22.519 --> 00:14:26.799 because you might have had a goal of just becoming a YouTuber. You thinking 202 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:31.399 having a goal of I'm just gonna be a YouTuber, like that's gonna get 203 00:14:31.480 --> 00:14:35.080 you the YouTuber life. That's not you know why, because you could film 204 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:39.080 one video and post it on YouTube and guess what, you're a YouTuber. 205 00:14:39.480 --> 00:14:45.120 Okay, So thinking about the specifics of what it is that you want, 206 00:14:45.399 --> 00:14:48.159 even when it comes to a relationship. Okay, you're in a relationship, 207 00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:52.320 but you're crying about the fact that you don't have predictability, you don't have 208 00:14:52.440 --> 00:14:58.320 consistency, you don't have a certain level of treatment. But guess what what 209 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:03.519 you asked for was simply a boyfriend. All all you were begging for was 210 00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:07.360 a man. Okay, But specifically, what about this relationship do you need? 211 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:11.480 Do you want? You have to be more specific, and again when 212 00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:13.360 you start out, yes, it's great to have the goal of like being 213 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.039 a YouTube or having a boyfriend, if that's what you want. But it's 214 00:15:16.159 --> 00:15:20.559 like you got to be shameless with what you want. You got to ask 215 00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:22.600 for it. What is it that you really need in this life? Because 216 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:26.759 if you're not specific, you will get non specific results and maybe it'll be 217 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:30.840 great. But I'm talking to the ones who are currently in their life right 218 00:15:30.879 --> 00:15:35.320 now who are like, like, when's it coming? Specifically when's it coming? 219 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.519 And you getting frustrated when you don't have it. You looking out into 220 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.759 your reality and being like, why am I not getting this treatment from this 221 00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:46.000 guy? He won't do this or that, or I'm not getting the money 222 00:15:46.039 --> 00:15:50.320 that I want from being this you know, freelancer or this that. And 223 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:54.960 the third well, what specifically do you want to have? And a question 224 00:15:54.039 --> 00:16:00.600 you can ask yourself or ponder over is really thinking about the current so circumstance 225 00:16:00.679 --> 00:16:03.120 or situation that you have in your life that you don't want to be having 226 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:10.600 or you don't like use this to show you what specifically you do want in 227 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:15.960 your life. So again, if you are upset that I just don't have 228 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:19.519 the lifestyle of a YouTuber, okay, you need to ask specifically about certain 229 00:16:19.559 --> 00:16:25.519 things of this lifestyle of a YouTuber or you know, you don't like the 230 00:16:25.559 --> 00:16:29.720 fact that you're not getting this certain type of treatment from your current boyfriend. 231 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.080 All right, what do you want and affirm that. Focus on that, 232 00:16:33.679 --> 00:16:37.200 ask for that, take action towards that. Whatever you have to do, 233 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.519 keep that in your forefront of your mind. Get more specific. Now. 234 00:16:41.559 --> 00:16:48.120 The last obstacle, and it ties into being specific, is your self concept 235 00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:53.759 does not match your specific wants that you're saying that you want in your life. 236 00:16:53.799 --> 00:17:00.440 You are not viewing yourself as somebody who does get that specific result that 237 00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:06.359 is prioritized in a relationship that does get consistency from a man that does have 238 00:17:06.759 --> 00:17:08.839 x amount of views, x, amount of money, x amount of lifestyle 239 00:17:10.119 --> 00:17:14.559 X, Y and z. You are not viewing yourself as somebody who has 240 00:17:14.640 --> 00:17:18.640 these things. You have to start viewing yourself as somebody who gets to have 241 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:22.200 all these things in your life, and you need to start then taking action 242 00:17:22.359 --> 00:17:26.640 from that place. Now, this has to do with self belief, believing 243 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:30.880 it's possible that you can have these things, looking at yourself like worthy of 244 00:17:30.920 --> 00:17:36.720 these things. This is very deep rooted. This is self concept work that 245 00:17:36.759 --> 00:17:38.759 you got to work on every morning in the morning. This is what I 246 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:42.480 do all the time in the morning. When it comes to journaling, I 247 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:48.720 am writing from a place of I am statements. I deserve to have X, 248 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.319 Y and Z. I get this type of treatment. I am a 249 00:17:53.400 --> 00:18:00.559 woman who gets commitment. I am a successful YouTuber who is very skilled at 250 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:03.400 what she does. I am a coach who is very skilled at what they 251 00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:08.079 do. And this is why I'm very skilled. And I have these beliefs 252 00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:12.319 about me, and I hold these beliefs about me like you have to change 253 00:18:12.359 --> 00:18:15.960 the way that you are viewing yourself. You have to stop looking at yourself 254 00:18:17.079 --> 00:18:19.720 so negative, so bad, so crappy, so wrong, because you will 255 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:26.079 not be able to take action towards it. It'll just you'll start like manifesting 256 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:30.359 things that are a reflection of your self worth and what you're like viewing yourself 257 00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:34.119 as. And this takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of 258 00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:41.240 persisting in a new self belief, looking at yourself differently. And I think 259 00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:42.720 the best thing that you can do when it comes to self concept is basically 260 00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:48.119 learning how to love yourself again. Because when you view yourself as somebody who 261 00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:52.519 is amazing, kind, beautiful, she deserves love. Oh my god, 262 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:56.599 you're so amazing in all these aspects, and this is why you deserve love, 263 00:18:56.640 --> 00:18:59.920 and blah blah blah blah, all that kind of like self love affirmations 264 00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:04.200 in the morning, just pouring into yourself everything you start to view yourself basically, 265 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:07.960 is what I'm saying. Through the lens of love, you can easily 266 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:12.759 see how somebody would love you because you love yourself. You can easily see 267 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:18.720 how you would prosper in a new job opportunity because you look at yourself like 268 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:22.599 amazing. You look at yourself like so skilled, highly favorable. Everyone freaking 269 00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:26.839 thinks that you're amazing. So you have to start looking at yourself like that, 270 00:19:27.319 --> 00:19:30.799 and it will be so much easier for you to then be able to 271 00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:37.319 again, like look at other people looking at you like that, and then 272 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:42.400 you actually asking for those things because you look at yourself as love. So 273 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:48.240 you're not afraid to ask to be prioritized in a relationship because you look at 274 00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:52.240 yourself like, yes, I'm worthy to be prioritized. You're afraid to ask 275 00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:55.519 for these things because you deep down don't believe that you deserve them. That's 276 00:19:55.519 --> 00:20:00.519 why you don't ask for them. So thinking about your self concept genuine what 277 00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:03.960 do you look at yourself like? And again I'm telling you I talk a 278 00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:07.000 lot about this in my book in terms of, you know, the belief 279 00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:11.839 that we hold about ourselves and where that comes from. This is deep rooted. 280 00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:17.119 Okay, And by the way, you're not alone. Everyone has limiting 281 00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:23.279 beliefs, self doubt based off of external environment situations, childhood trauma, people 282 00:20:23.319 --> 00:20:30.039 making fun of us, the pressure that society has on us to do better 283 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:33.759 and be better in order to feel worthy. It's all crap, it's all 284 00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:37.079 programming. Getting to the root of that is amazing, which I talk about 285 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:41.839 it in my book The Ultimate Glow Up Guide link in my description or just 286 00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:44.960 type it in at your bookstore, go to the bookstore and get it anywhere 287 00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:49.079 that it has in stock. I should say, But understanding that, like 288 00:20:49.920 --> 00:20:59.680 you have to continue to look at yourself in a better light consistently in order 289 00:20:59.720 --> 00:21:02.359 for you to ask for what you want, to believe that you can have 290 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:07.480 what you want, and to take action towards that. It all starts with 291 00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:12.079 that. And if you think about why is why are you so afraid to 292 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:18.559 take action towards practicing a new skill that you have to do at school or 293 00:21:18.599 --> 00:21:23.279 at work. It's because you look at yourself like I'm not smart enough, 294 00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:27.240 I'm not good enough. People are not gonna like me. I'm not worthy 295 00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:32.640 enough. Okay, So when you struggle with taking action or doing something in 296 00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:36.519 your life or asking for what you need in your life, look at yourself. 297 00:21:36.839 --> 00:21:40.920 What do you believe about yourself? I swear that changes so much. 298 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:44.559 And again, yes, we have to take action towards the things we want 299 00:21:44.599 --> 00:21:45.799 in our lives, and we have to kind of mentally tell ourselves how to 300 00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:48.160 get out of that in the moment. We have to do that. But 301 00:21:49.319 --> 00:21:53.720 at the end of the day, you have to work on your self concept 302 00:21:53.799 --> 00:22:00.799 because you can keep overriding like the bad self concept for what you want, 303 00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.599 let's say, but if you don't truly believe it, you're not gonna sustain 304 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:07.000 it. Like you can ask for what you want, like oh, I 305 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:10.039 really want commitment, da da da da, But like even if you ask 306 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:12.640 for commitment, there's gonna be other things that you actually underneath that that that 307 00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:15.799 you need to be asking for, but you don't feel worthy, so like 308 00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:19.200 you won't do it, So then you didn't really like get the commitment that 309 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:23.119 you actually wanted. You only ask for basically what you believe that you can 310 00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:26.640 get, you know what I mean. I hope that made sense because I 311 00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:30.640 just did like a whole ramble, but genuinely, you you gotta look at 312 00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:38.559 yourself like deserving, like you you get this in life, And I know 313 00:22:38.599 --> 00:22:44.200 sometimes it can be hard because again you have external people, places, and 314 00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:48.160 things telling you you don't deserve, that you don't deserve to be compensated for 315 00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:52.440 this by doing this amount of work or this thing over here. Stop letting 316 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:57.079 everyone else throw their own shame onto you, throw their own opinions on you. 317 00:22:57.160 --> 00:23:02.480 The more you block that out and the more you tap into what you 318 00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:06.160 know is true and what you want in your life, you will have more 319 00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:08.200 confidence and you'll be able to look at yourself like worthy, deserving, and 320 00:23:08.279 --> 00:23:11.559 again you'll start taking action from that place, and you will start to be 321 00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:17.400 a match to people, places, and things that reflect your self concept. 322 00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:22.480 It's just what happens. It's just what happens, and it takes time, 323 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:27.839 and it takes circumstances to sometimes not work out for you to show you your 324 00:23:27.880 --> 00:23:32.880 own self concept and what you believed about yourself. But amazing, great that's 325 00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:34.240 what I like to look at it. When things aren't work out in my 326 00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:37.599 life, I'm like, amazing. You know, first I'll probably cry about 327 00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:41.880 it for a second, but then I'm like, you know what, perfect? 328 00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:45.799 This is showing me what I accepted over there, meaning what I believed 329 00:23:45.799 --> 00:23:48.119 about myself over here. This is what I need to work on. I 330 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:52.519 need to affirm a new self concept within myself that I am deserving, that 331 00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:55.079 this is what I get in life, and I need to persist in that. 332 00:23:55.480 --> 00:23:57.880 And the more that I do that, I'm only getting one step closer 333 00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:02.160 to what it is that I actually want before I even barely knew it to 334 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:04.640 be true until that circumstance happens. So if things are going on in your 335 00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:07.839 life where you're like kind of pissed off or you just are not happy about 336 00:24:07.880 --> 00:24:12.799 it, take it as information. Amazing, good, good to know. 337 00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:18.839 I noted that I literally look at circumstances in my life like that, like, 338 00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:22.640 noted, what did I believe about myself? And now what do I 339 00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:26.559 get to ask more? What do I get to refine and get more specific 340 00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:32.559 with? And you start to see on this journey this is all happening to 341 00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:36.640 get more specific so that you actually become the person that you really want to 342 00:24:36.680 --> 00:24:40.039 be. Like, I am now this person that I really want to be 343 00:24:40.039 --> 00:24:44.240 because I've had to go through those situations that forced me to get even more 344 00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:49.880 specific, Like and back then I thought I was gonna be this perfect person. 345 00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:55.680 Sorry, by having this lifestyle or having this treatment based off of not 346 00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:59.480 being specific, babe, that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. 347 00:25:00.680 --> 00:25:03.640 You're not gonna be the dream person that you have in your head that you 348 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:04.839 scroll on Pinterest and you're like, oh my god, I want to be 349 00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:11.119 this person. Da da da. That person is a result of you being 350 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:15.960 specific and you looking at yourself as a certain way. It's not from who 351 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:21.240 you currently are in this current self concept. It's not. It doesn't have 352 00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:26.240 to be hard at all. But it's not gonna be from this self concept. 353 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:32.799 Why because if it was, you'd already be her. Right. So, 354 00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:36.519 whatever it is you want in your life, it's gonna require you to 355 00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:41.279 be a new you. It's like actually as simple as that. So when 356 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:44.559 you are wanting certain things in your life, you want change in your life, 357 00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:48.839 you have to become the change. That's really it. Stop looking at 358 00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:53.200 your outside circumstances, waiting for things to change, waiting for people to make 359 00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:57.079 you feel deserving of love. It's not gonna happen. Even when somebody comes 360 00:25:57.079 --> 00:26:02.000 in and gives you every single thing Liz did that you think that you want 361 00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:04.559 or you deserve it, you won't be able to believe it, or you'll 362 00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:10.839 push it away, or you just it'll be a mess because you don't actually 363 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.079 inherently know that to be true for yourself. You might think you do, 364 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:19.519 but as soon as that person either goes away or something happens that if you 365 00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:25.000 can't sustain that feeling, that's when you know it was never within you. 366 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:27.599 You're only waiting for somebody or money or something to come in or results to 367 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:30.680 come in for you to feel good about life. How do you feel in 368 00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:33.160 the days where you don't have the numbers, or you don't have the money, 369 00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:37.240 or you don't have that love. That's the most important thing, because 370 00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:44.920 you need to feel good about yourself because for one, people ebb and flow 371 00:26:44.960 --> 00:26:48.119 in your life. Even if people stay in your life like a secure attachment, 372 00:26:48.119 --> 00:26:51.559 you know you got to like always kind of maintain that. But also 373 00:26:51.880 --> 00:26:56.440 things change in your life, so there's gonna be like the external environment will 374 00:26:56.480 --> 00:27:00.880 always change, not for the worst, but things it's just change, like 375 00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:03.640 that's what happens. And it doesn't mean things aren't gonna get like coming out 376 00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:07.559 of your life, but that's what's happened. So what happens when things change, 377 00:27:07.559 --> 00:27:11.279 You're gonna get triggered every single time, and then you're just gonna oh 378 00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:14.799 my god, I'm not getting what I want. No, stop living life 379 00:27:14.839 --> 00:27:18.880 like that, stop living life only being happy when the external shows you that. 380 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:21.799 And it's the hardest thing to do. It's the hardest thing that you 381 00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:23.599 have to go through in life, and a lot of people never even get 382 00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:26.920 there. And people are constantly on this emotional roller coaster when it comes to 383 00:27:27.039 --> 00:27:30.920 relationships, when it comes to money, when it comes to whatever. You 384 00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:34.559 can't do that. You have to learn how to sustain what is true about 385 00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:38.319 yourself, your self concept. And the more you sustain it, this is 386 00:27:38.359 --> 00:27:41.720 what tends to happen, is you create that neural pathway in your mind. 387 00:27:41.759 --> 00:27:45.440 So it's not so much forcing. You don't wake up every single day and 388 00:27:45.559 --> 00:27:48.200 you have to continue to you know, like affirm to yourself, like you 389 00:27:48.279 --> 00:27:51.640 have to do different things for different seasons of your life, but you will 390 00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:53.799 continue to build that. So it's not always going to be a trying process. 391 00:27:55.359 --> 00:28:00.720 But the more you have that higher self concept and the way you view 392 00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:03.799 yourself and you're stable in that, you're like, you're really stable in that 393 00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:07.759 and you're not wavering, you will then only start to attract things on that 394 00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:11.680 level of frequency, and that will be a normal experience in your life. 395 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:15.839 More money, better treatment from men. Like you'll get up there, and 396 00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:18.759 then what will happen, Because you're not perfect and you're not going to get 397 00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:23.680 all the way like you know whatever, something will happen and you'll be like, 398 00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:26.759 oh, I need to be a little bit more specific. And then 399 00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:29.680 you have to drive in that new self concept. You have to learn that 400 00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:33.359 lesson, keep driving that in, and then that brings you up here, 401 00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:37.960 and then you start attracting more and more and you get better and better at 402 00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:40.319 refining what it is that you want, and then you become that person. 403 00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:44.359 That's what happens. So and that's what happened for me in my life. 404 00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:48.119 Like I even think about that when it comes to money, Like I had 405 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:51.519 to stop focusing on the things that I didn't have, have a story. 406 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:53.440 I had to change the way that I was viewing money and scarcity and everything 407 00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:57.440 like that, and I had to really drive it home until I started becoming 408 00:28:57.480 --> 00:29:02.039 a new version of me who showed up for herself and went for her dream 409 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:03.480 life and you know, made the money that she wanted to make. And 410 00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:06.559 then I had to learn how to sustain that. And I had to learn 411 00:29:06.559 --> 00:29:11.279 how to have a different relationship with money and keep that firm and not waver 412 00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:15.160 and fall back into my scarcity lack mindset that I've been in all of my 413 00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:18.400 life because I grew up not having money, Like it is programming that takes 414 00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:21.599 a while. But the more that I did that, and the more that 415 00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:26.039 I stayed in that self concept, I started manifesting more money, more opportunities 416 00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:33.240 that became more of a frequent, stable, predictable thing in my life and 417 00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:36.720 not got normalized. And then I just kept moving up. And I'm continuing 418 00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:40.720 to move up like I still am moving up. But you want to have 419 00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:44.759 certain treatment, or you want to have a certain amount of money, or 420 00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:48.279 the way that you like if a career, the way that like the certain 421 00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:53.119 skills be normalized in your life, and in order to have something be normalized 422 00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:57.640 in your life. It's gonna first require you to look at yourself as having 423 00:29:57.640 --> 00:30:00.359 that thing in your life, and you have to persist in that and you 424 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:06.440 have to only move as that person until it becomes normalized. So if it's 425 00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:10.599 not normalized in your life right now, why are you giving up? Why 426 00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:14.559 are you giving up? Why are you letting things in your life? Waiver 427 00:30:14.680 --> 00:30:18.240 you and da da da dah. Stop it's all noise. It's all noise. 428 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:22.519 Respect the people who have different opinions than you. Understand that some people 429 00:30:22.599 --> 00:30:26.480 it's not even about people like trying to like you know, not give you 430 00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:30.839 what you want. Don't take it personal if somebody's saying no to you right 431 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:34.640 now, don't get afraid when things aren't going in your favor. Understand that 432 00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:40.519 that is a process. Stay strong, work on your self concept. Literally, 433 00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:42.799 stop worrying about everything else but your self concept. How do you view 434 00:30:42.839 --> 00:30:47.079 yourself? Love yourself, Pour into yourself. You are the only thing that 435 00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:49.599 matters in this moment. And don't mean in the grand scheme of life, 436 00:30:49.720 --> 00:30:56.000 okay, I just mean in this specific moment, focus on yourself until things 437 00:30:56.039 --> 00:30:59.200 become normalized. I don't want to hear it. And I tell this to 438 00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:03.599 myself, by the way, like sometimes I'm like, why am I crying 439 00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:07.559 about the fact that I don't have X, Y and Z when shit hasn't 440 00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:11.400 been normalized yet. I haven't been looking at myself as this person who gets 441 00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:14.480 what she wants in her life. Things have not been normalized. So stop 442 00:31:14.519 --> 00:31:18.839 giving up, Like why are you giving up when things are hard? Like 443 00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:25.160 you want to be skilled at something, you want to have this certain life, 444 00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:26.839 you want to have this money, you want to have, you want 445 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:30.240 to hit the school, okay, but you're giving up before you get it. 446 00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:34.839 Stop giving up, Okay. So that was a little bit of like 447 00:31:37.079 --> 00:31:40.039 I don't know what type of energy that was, but I don't know it 448 00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:42.359 was like visceral energy because that's just what I've been really thinking about in my 449 00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:47.039 life. I've been going through it in my life. I am who there's 450 00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:52.119 things moving in my life right now, like moving in my life, which 451 00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:56.599 I feel like is probably a lot of you guys right now, and naturally 452 00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:00.160 with a new season of life, not season of life really, but a 453 00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:05.200 new season in terms of weather, like genuinely we're moving into spring. But 454 00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:08.920 oh my gosh, when change happens in my life. It requires me to 455 00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:14.720 have a death in a rebirth. It requires me to get more specific. 456 00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:22.599 It requires me to really stop letting people, places in things get in my 457 00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:25.519 mind, especially when I'm trying to like really go up, which is always 458 00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:30.079 so loud. When people, places and things are really loud in your life 459 00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:34.759 right now, that means you're really trying to up level. So don't stop 460 00:32:35.240 --> 00:32:37.279 like sometimes when things aren't loud, it's like, hm, maybe I'm coasting, 461 00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:39.319 which is fine. You don't always got to hit goals and things like 462 00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:43.480 that. But I just mean, you know, don't be afraid when things 463 00:32:43.519 --> 00:32:46.319 are moving and shifting in your life, because that just means you're you're very 464 00:32:46.359 --> 00:32:50.519 close. And I tell myself, like, when things are shifting, whether 465 00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:53.119 it's good, bad, ugly, confusing, whatever, oh am, I 466 00:32:53.319 --> 00:32:58.400 close. Movement is so good, even if it's the smallest movement, even 467 00:32:58.440 --> 00:33:05.480 if it's big movement. Don't I don't waiver and don't fall back when you 468 00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:08.960 see movement also in your life, but it's maybe not exactly what you want. 469 00:33:09.119 --> 00:33:14.640 Understand. Everything is moving, Things are happening. Okay, things are 470 00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:16.720 happening in my life. I hope things are happening in your guys' life. 471 00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:22.119 I hope you guys enjoy your week. I'll have a Thursday episode coming up. 472 00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:24.640 Let me know what you guys want me to talk about. I'm sure 473 00:33:24.720 --> 00:33:30.319 I don't have an idea yet, but I'm sure have one. Also, 474 00:33:30.839 --> 00:33:34.680 you can let me know in the comments whatever. I'm really excited to do 475 00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:39.759 my March recap episode in a few weeks. I can't believe there's only two 476 00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:44.759 weeks left of March before we go into April. It's wild. Also, 477 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:51.240 today is the one year little anniversary, not little, but anniversary of me 478 00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:54.519 moving into my condo, which is crazy and so much has changed. Anyways, 479 00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:58.559 we'll do a whole recap though, I feel like the recap, why 480 00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:01.920 do I keep messing up that word? Recap is gonna be a good one 481 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:06.039 because I want to share with you guys, like a lot of books, 482 00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:08.960 things, like things that I've been doing. Oh, there's a lot of 483 00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:13.360 things. Anyways, I hope you guys have an amazing day and I'll see 484 00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:15.119 you guys in the next one. Bye.