This is not We don't expect to be put on your life. Down's turn
a straight from the Who's You'll find no be s fut side cost. Hi
are welcome to side quest, the exciting in between episodes we do between the
adventures. You're dying to find out what's happening next in the adventures? Well,
fuck you. It's a side quest. That's how it works. What
do we do on side quests? We might get an excite guest, we
might play a different game. We might just gripe about bullshit because we're old
men and we're tired of stuff. Who do we have? Who are the
old men we have with us today? Go myself, Steve Weverell. We've
got Rick wal Terry, We've got MK Gibson. Gibbie. Hello, I
have anudful of food. It would go really just really just stressing that boom
of vibe. Well, well well you will you chew and swallow and try
not to choke. I'll remind people because I just got a text message from
Tea Public telling me, hey, there's a thirty five percent off cell going
on, which is a good reminder that if you love the Inny podcast,
if you want to like you to help support us. Well, there's definitely
our Patreon. But if you want to look like us, and why wouldn't
you, hey, go to our tea public shop and buy some and buy
some merch. Have you been itch into the quietest vibe? I know you
have, so start shaving your heads, getting hats and glasses and like capturing
one of us, skinning us alive and wearing us as a meat suit is
technically illegal, so why not just grab a T shirt instead? It's easy
to let yourself go a little bit, shave your head, you know what,
I'm tired. If anybody wants to take my skin and be me,
that's fine, right, you did that, bro? Yeah. So today's
topic somewhat ironically speaking, and Englando's watching on YouTube can say, it's quite
gray here despite being in July. Summertime, baby, it's summer time.
Normally we do like hoorray. I hate this fucking season. Not the greatest
season for Ginger's give it is it is. I feel like every vampireic every
time that sun rolls up over, like when that big blonde bitch comes over
the mountainside, you know, just like I feel things crackle that aren't meant
to crackle and birds. So you and I are on the wrong continents,
mate, and we both evolved from the same place. But I think I've
got some frustrated Mediterranean in my ancestry because I fucking hate it when I don't
get a decent summer. I am. I am like more than half Italian.
I mean, you know, like like you know, my people evolved
like walk in the sun are like gold chains and like you know, and
masses and stuff. And I still hate summer, so I must have I
must have gotten some the recessive part of those genes. You're like, are
you like a northern Italian where they're all blonde and like kind of pale and
like like they all bido versions the proper one something, you know, something
I have no idea because I've never done one of those twenty three and me
things. Because one, I don't want to be connected to relatives coming out
of the woodwork that I I don't want to be connected to me yeah.
And two I don't want to like, you know, go like I don't
want to know the inevitable, which is like, oh, the Qualtiy family
are descended from like village idiots from the my one, my one friend I'm
not going to name his name. I don't know if he listens to the
podcast or not, but it was very proud for a very long time of
his Italian heritage, only to find out, oh no, someone was adopted.
That was a lie. Your last name is bullshit and you are as
Irish as a day as long. He's actually more Irish than I am.
It's like I'm almost scott Irish. That's twenty three me. I'm around like
ninety two percent the UK glows on that mat. But for him it's like
ninety seven percent. It's like he can't get I would just walk me,
give me that fucking plate, you eat some boiled cabbage and shut up enough.
I have like a point three percent Sri Lankan. I don't know why.
I don't know which one of like like Angus O'Malley decided to like he's
gonna go like a sail East for some like some sort of Shanghai surprise.
So yeah, I love it when Irish Americans do a twenty three and me
and it turns out there English all right, sorry kid, welcome to the
dark side. See part of me like yurns for for the for the the
hills of your of your floating land mass there because it's like, hey,
sun doesn't really set here or it doesn't really like come through. It's like
it's very depressing and cloud cover. My goal is to find a land of
perpetual fall, like like between fifty two at night and no higher than sixty
seven in the in during the day. That's my that's my Bailey, Like,
that's where I reign supreme. Can I wear shorts but a fleece?
I can't remember what the level is cold on warcraft, but it's the wonder
of all the undebt. That's pretty much England for most of the year,
right I I fucking love it when the sun comes out. I can see
better, everything feels better. Everyone in this country becomes about twenty percent more
likable when the sun's out. It only happens for like six days. Thanks
back then, because we just entered into the terrible like the terrible month of
living in New Jersey. And in truth, all months are terrible living in
New Jersey, but this is an extra terrible month because the temperature is not
as high as some as some areas of the US. We're like we're in
the nineties which is not fun. Same. We're covering at about ninety nine
point nine percent humidity, the type you step outside, your glasses steam up.
You know, you should have brought a snorkel out to breathe right at
that moment if somebody had, If somebody just had a drive by and filled
you full of bullet holes, you'd thank them. It's I'm with you because
down here in Maryland it's Italian air conditioning. I'm a couple of states south
of you, but Maryland is a very green especially where I live, is
very green, like a lot of rolling hills, a lot of trees,
but all these trees are very moist and a lot of nature. It's constantly
giving you of moisture soap. Yeah, but okay, I want for those
who don't understand the humidity aspect, like, imagine a very large, unattractive
man, uh breathing hot just going on your taints as soon as you walk
outside, all over your body. It is like the moisture is just breathing
on you. Nobody wanted to imagine that, I know, but I had
to. Now you do too. Like, now imagine like him and his
forty nine siblings all over your body, all on you at once. It
is hot, it is moist. It was this man of fifty brothers.
Well one, don't don't shame this man. He comes from a very long
line of like he's like he you know, he's there's stocky fellows. That's
a storyteller. You not yourself into creating a brand new fucking legacy. Yeah,
that's what if you. It feels like being breathed on by like large,
large, large humans who like it's just it's hot, it's moist,
and it's pervasive. It's every poor, every everything that's even exposed, unexposed.
You gotta go run right back inside or get your car real fast.
It's miserable. So I would say in England they do complain about heat.
We're not really south for it. It's like we don't have air conditioning because
it's fucking not worth the investment. And it's quite humid. It's kind of
like a maritime climate most of the time. So when it gets hot,
it's real hot, right, fucking love it. I'm not kidding about the
frustrated. I must be like somebody in my Italian was just a big,
fat guy with masses of chest hair relaxing on a beach, wearing a gold
chain, breathing, eating a sandwich with pasta in it, just waiting for
my forty nine brothers to ambush and irish. I'm glad you take the trooping
room, because you have to realize we are all middle three, middle aged
men complaining about the weather on a podcast. So I'm trying to breathe a
little bit of life into it, a little bit of a little like image
up, yeah, a little bit like most hot, yeah, exactly,
walking along the moist trees, just looking for that fresh tait. But the
space between your toes start to sweat. Then you know you're uncomfortable, you
know. So I went over to a friend's house a couple of days ago
for fourth o July. You know, fuck you England. AnyWho. We
when you go to their house and like we're hanging out and it's nice,
Like, hey, the park's about a mile and a half away and they're
having a food thing there. They get a food trucks and there's a music.
You guys want to walk there? No, I don't, but my
kid wants to go, and the wife's gotta be a good idea, so
we all decide to walk there. It's like a mile and a half,
maybe two miles tops, But by the time you get there, you're getting
that under bootage sweat and the back sweat and the hat and the next sway
and then you're standing in the sun while you're waiting for these fucking food trucks.
I have the perfect thing to say if you're in a situation like that.
You know, done it before myself multiple times. It's like, Dad,
I really want to go. No, because I don't love you nearly
enough. You just got to be straight with him. Yeah, no,
we went. But like my my buddy, he's a large man. He's
like, we got there, He's like, yeah, this was a bad
idea. I'm like, yeah, yeah, think. So we all got
our food and went back to their house and sat there finishing and ate it
like like like like like people like like good people do, Like this was
miserable. No, I get it. I see people out there, especially
like I've seen ripped people and large people's shirts off enjoying the sun, and
they apparently enjoy this feeling of freedom. It sounds like an englishman's heaven.
Oh my god, no one's ever invited me to a fucking Fourth of July
I know a load of Americans, but the prejudice apparently still stands. I
like standing out in a heat getting drunk and dripping with Burger grease, and
it was it was great. I mean, there wasn't effigy there. They
had King George like there was. He was burning on it was a news
of everything they said. He said a long time. We have long memories.
I mean we're literally throwing tea's in the river, like goes by the
park there just because good. You know, one of my favorite things about
Fourth July is because you get a Fourth of July and you get all the
memes like haha, take that King George. We don't have a monarchy.
It's like never again will we be over a text or oppressed by our government.
And the next day I'm just like, hey, America, how did
it go. Did you have a good time last night? Yeah? Back
to reality, bitch. Well, we also like a certain debates fore you're
watching, like, oh lord, So it doesn't matter. It's fun to
have that feel good for the moment, knowing full well that we're full of
shit. You know, you know, we know we're full of shit.
Oh, everybody's got to have an origin story that's fucking full of hit keeps.
We don't have a Yeah, freedom, just don't think about it too
hard. That's what the beer is for. But yeah, well, our
fourth of July we actually had a political event. We had a change of
government. It should be a really fucking big deal. We had the same
government for about fifteen years. It's been a shit show. They're called the
Tories. I think most people, I don't know anybody it wasn't excited to
get the Tories out. I think even people who are vote conservatives, like
these guys aren't very good at being conservative. So we got to the other
guys in and how everyone's like, you know the end scene of the Graduate
when they're on the bus and they're like, yeah, we did it,
and then they're just like, ah, now what this is awkward. That's
kind of where we are. It's kind of the same. We're in the
Euros right now, big football event in the England team. Everybody's just watching,
going like do I actually do I like football? I'm starting to think
I don't like football. This is After a while, you got to sit
back and realize that anybody who probably would make a good leader probably doesn't want
to run for office. We saw in the military. We saw in the
military all the time there are people, you the people that should be leading
us, like who should be taking their promotional exams. They become higher and
higher choose not to because they want to stay in the job and do the
job and do it right. But there's a lot of people with the ambition
and that's it, and they do the thing and get promoted and work their
way up because they've got driving ambition, not intelligence, not does not not
worth, not not acumen, not intel legends, but they have ambition,
and ambitious people don't give a fuck, and ambitious people are the ones that
end up sitting in positions of power because people of quality refuse to do it.
It happens all the time. It's the confirmation bias that you have a
like really smart, really talented people like, ah, maybe I'm not worth
it, Like no, you are, please Christ do it like do it,
and it up starting a vicious cycle because the stupid people who were in
charge, who like you know who, they got there by just by being
loud with no substance. They are the mindset that anybody who's loud and has
no substance must be smart as smart as them, So hey, let's promote
them. I remember this one company I worked at. There was a coworker
and before, like you know, before the both both directors in charge of
my department. They both left at the same time, but they told the
person taking over, do not promote this one person. All they do is
blow hot air up your ass the person who took over. I think I
know where this story is going. Oh yeah, exact exactly. It's like,
you know, on a call, you know, this person just would
not shut up, but like you know, it's a yap yep, yapp
say nothing other than garbage easily refutable, and then like and then they give
me shit that Like I remember one time they were like, well, well
you didn't say anything, cal I'm like, yeah, because one I was
listening, and two I didn't have anything to add to the conversation that would
have made it better, you know, much like the person who was talking
didn't make it better. Yeah, nicely, see that's why you that's why
you lose. Like that whole thing is like, what was this saying?
Better to be full of a fool and open your mouth and remove all doubt
doesn't work. It doesn't work until it's much better to just keep talking.
It is, well, it's it's also the talk with confidence, and that's
it's like the ik Bine berliner on that whole story, like I don't care
what you said, just say like you know what you're talking about and people
will listen whether it's right or not. Or it's like from SpongeBob. It's
like, you know, you know how people talk louder when they want to
sound smarter. Correct. Now, I'm also in it. I have the
unique opportunity to talk about a particular part of the summertime that I also hate,
and it's it's it's a little niche, so stick with me. You
have friends that go on vacations and then you have to like watch their dog,
watch their cat, check their mail, go over to their house and
do that thing to help help a friend out. I got a good buddy
and he's like, you know, I don't know if he's listen to this
podcast, and he's a great guy, but he's going on a trip.
So he's like, hey, man, could you be so kind as to
stopping once a day and like check on my cat? You know, not
a problem, man, I can't do it, but he also lives,
uh fifty minutes away, so it's a it's a it's an almost short of
an hour drive to his house. It's a fifteen minutes inside high cat okay,
food, water, poop, and leave, and it's a fifty minutes
back. So it's like two hours out of my day for the next like
five days. Is it food, water, poop for the cat or do
you show up? I drink his fridge. I told you to coke fridge
left an upper decker, you know, and like just you know, but
yeah, but it's that summertime thing where you like, some people enjoy vacations,
some people don't, some people go, some people don't, depending on
your if you have money, if you don't. But there's a nebly someone's
going to ask you to do those kind of favors. But leads to the
summertime personal favors. Do you have any stories about that where you have like,
oh God, I gotta do this thing and I don't want especially as
I get older, I'm like I hate commitments. Damn Well, I'm the
I'm the single one of my family, so when they go on holiday,
and my siblings have done pretty well for themselves. So they were like,
oh, could you come up and look after They got two really nice cats,
like main coon cats. They live in this lovely village up north and
they're like, they have villages for the main coons. Well, yeah,
they live there, but hobably shit. And you know how people are.
We like pets more than people. They probably if they wanted to kick someone
out the village, they probably said, should we need the cats fast?
Or that guy I don't like it? And they'd probably be the guy they
don't like. Yeah, so they were like, do you want to come
and look after our cats while we're on holiday. It's like, yes,
I do want to go to your nice, fancy village and around in their
big gardens and their bars and pretend I am one of them. Almost immediately
as soon as I got to their house, one of the cats just goes
out the door and that's it. I don't see it for five days.
I have killed their expensive fancy cat. Now they even try. And this
is family member, you said, not friends with family, This is immediate
family, very close. Oh that makes it all the words. Are they
aware of this yet? It was first, it was fine. I was
panicking for about five days. I was like leaving food outside, leaving the
door open, and I just kind of go, oh, this doesn't look
good on me. But then like, oh yeah he does that sometimes they
motherfucker oh Warner Brother first, I mean, Jesus man. The other thing
I like to do is my other sister also lives in a very nice little
village looking after their cats. They're like bury house cats. I don't have
to worry about them at all. Also, she has a heart tup,
so this is not a fun story. It's just as this is probably as
close to a vacation I'm getting this year. Do you cut the cat?
I gotta wait to look after that cat. I'll give a ship if I
drowned a cat like a maink. You just sitting there chilling with your little
beer like like this hey, this little life, you know it makings like,
uh, where do you come from? Pauper? This is my gaff?
Oh man, that's like when the cat looks down on you, like
with your with your financial acumen, Like the cat's like I'm going to see
a credible port view. Come and sit in my I will ship here outside
the litter puck and then watch you clean it. Everybody in the village was
very accepting the cat. However, it is definitely like you don't belong here.
Oh look, it's it's nice to give the poor people dreams. Let
them, let them come from a little get back to coolby industrial Sku.
You smell like squalor. You smell like a Chimney sweep. Look at you.
They're like a Dickens novel larger. Well, I was wearing a raggedy
top hat specifically, is it like that, like that, like the the
poor cat, like the top is off kind of, so it's like,
yeah, okay, I like to be class conscious. Giv me, well,
it's good to know. It's good. It's good that your country accepts
that. I mean, like when you gets to the tories really like I
went back to my high school, like like high school history, like Wigs
and Tories. That's as far as I know about the culture. That is
that is them, that is it. I know the names wigs and Tories.
So like, nope, I totally know what you're talking about. Yeah,
I am a yeah. I'll just assume if you have a two party
system, then it's like, you know, then it's terrible assholes and slightly
less worse assholes on thousand percent. Yeah, pretty much, but they both
somehow wind up making the same decisions. Well, yeah, everything, every
system needs a minimum four, minimum four because if you got two, yeah,
it's like one Coker PEPSI. If you get three, one of them
is too close to the other ones and pools votes. You need at least
four parties. We kind of got there. We've got a system here.
It's first pass to post, so it doesn't matter how many people vote for
someone, they vote in a certain area, they get seat. Had it
been first passed to post, the kind of residual parties would have been had
a lot more presence in Parliament, which in this case would have been quite
disruptive. Normally i'd say that is a bad thing. It's not working out
well for Europe. But I don't know. People want change, man,
and luckily we have a system in England. Division shows that nothing changes ever
now, at least every seventy five hundred years. I'm a big fan that,
Like you know that you have a revolution, you pull the people from
power, you bring out the guillotines and say okay, let's relet's let's restart,
and hope it's better base start the clock, even though knowing it won't,
another country may be sharpened the guillotines again, keep people involved seventy five
or seventy five hundred years. So I thought, every seven thousand years,
we need to change seventy five to one hundred every seven years the violent revolution,
so everybody knows what's about. You know, well, you don't want
any generation to miss it, you know, because that sucks. You know,
you really got to get around you and you want it to happen,
like you know, student or that, even like you know, even those
were like we're beams at the time. It's still in their memory of like,
oh yeah, this could happen. Yeah, just like you're in power
now. But about how that can go, Yeah, it seems to be.
It takes about roughly just under a century for people to remember that there
are consequences and shit, that's the thing I've started looking through like history and
society for the lens of war is inevitable. And as soon as you do
that, everything starts to make a lot more sense. In a horrible way,
but you know, it makes a lot more sense. We are not
a good species, but you know, we're trying. We've got some structures
in place. I think something I can't remember who said it, but a
purpose of democracy is so that whoever has the political football of power only ever
has a tenuous grasp on it. It doesn't have it for long. That's
the like, the whole purpose of democracy is to make this a frustrating shit
show of nobody ever really changing anything, because the alternative is streets flooded with
blood. I am looking at a list of things because it's the summertime topic,
and we keep dipping with the politics. It's gonna be a quick secking
here. We have a political rally in the middle of the summer. This
is not mine, it's true. And I was look at this one website
called best Life, and it's like this says the worst things about summer,
all right, And it made me think of, like I remember when I
was these certain things I started looking at, like when I was young,
and now that I'm older, they're vastly different. Like number one lines at
music festivals. When I was a young person, I love music festivals all
day, summer outdoor thing. Now that I'm old, it's just the sheer
concept of like thousands of people standing around and noise and sweat and the music
and sweat and overpriced drinks and food. I used to love going to festivals
when I was young. Same again, so same. I went to pick
my kids up from download and at some point musical festivals went from niche to
literally everyone who was there. I got panic attacks just looking at the crowd.
Everything that goes like that, Like I remember, like we all love
Halloween. I remember this, like, you know, nobody gave a shit
about Halloween. There was a couple of honted houses. Now now it's like
Halloween season rolls around, everybody has to go to a fucking haunted house,
and it's just like, go the fuck away, get out of my fans.
And speaking of being stuck in the lines for festivals, one of my
favorite festival memories was being stuck in the line because I figured out that I
can get drunk really cheap on shit fizzy white wine. So I got a
five gallon jug of water, emptied it out and filled it with wine.
For that will probably do me for the weekend. I must have drank two
thirds of that in the line. I had to be helped into the festival.
I had to call the guys and say that I can't actually walk.
Could you please come now? Which brings me to go straight to number three
on this list. Hangovers are worse in the summer because you're already sweating things
out and then you start drinking and like when you're younger, you're fine,
you could balance. I still don't hangovers. You're not trying hard enough.
That that is my that is my superpower. Do you just have enough residual
Like are you like part camel, Like you just have enough water in your
body that like, I don't know what it is. I've never gotten them.
Like you know, I'll wake up in the morning, I'll be a
little dry and stuff, but I do not have I've never had that like
that pounding fifty brothers go breathe on them. So it's like, oh my
god, I'm the exact opposite. I have oper rapid, epic hangovers.
I'm just I get real on wh I'm imagining this operatic hangover, Like I
tell you, in the summer, when you wake up and you're dried out
and the sun is blasting through no matter how many curtains you phone, I
feel like the guy from Apocalypse. Now. I feel like it's like every
time you see like those movies where like the Vampire sees the sun, you
hear that like just to se your vote, Like that is what the hangovers
feel like to me. Number two on this list I found funny. I'm
the pressure. Oh sorry, sorry, I was insane. If I have
ever been to an A and dcon and you notice that I'm and you've noticed
that I'm extra loud in the mornings, that's why, because I have no
fucking sympathy. If you ever go to an AA dcon and notice that I'm
shaking and slowly can't really focus on what you're saying, it's just because I
want to die. I want to die. I'm doing my best, but
I just if you need to shoot me in the head at any point,
please do it. That relief. Number two in the list was pressure to
do something, because when you're young, it's like it's sunny, it's nice,
you need to go do something. But as I've gotten older, like,
oh no, the ability to not do anything is like my face.
It's like it's right up there with canceling plans. Oh that's like Heroin,
Like you got plans with something that you just cancel and they get the evening
free Oh my god, I feel so great. See I'm torn on that
one because some ideally I want to do nothing, but I want to do
it lying in a field or sitting in a big garden. And I don't
know what it is about this summer, but my day job's been extra hard.
I just don't seem to have any time. And I can feel It's
England. The summer is a brief and wonderful thing. And I can feel
the clock ticking every time I'm sitting in my stupid office job looking at this
perfect countryside outside, which I know will be full of rain and ship comes
Saturday. I just I don't know. I feel like the time is being
sucked out of me, like my soul, like some kind of moral combat
feeling is just owning me. Oh man, that's like, I I got
it. That's such a depressing pictures you've painted that it's like it's like a
like and it's like that's a trapped a fucking Dealbert cartoon. But every time
you look off the page, there's just perfect green, like fucking beginning of
Lord of the Rings. No, not the beginning, because that was awful.
When the Hobbit comes in and everything's nice. It's a shire grease.
It's the fucking shier outside, you know. Yeah, by this stage I
would take the beginning of Lord of the Rings not to be stuck this room
some snarky elves standing there like I was there three thousand. Yeah, we
get your name dropping Douce Seoul, we get it. Yeah. I mean,
I mean, let's me know which which us wouldn't be happy if like,
you know, some like you know, some some really tall wizard kicked
in the door and said you're coming with me on an adventure. I've been
waiting for them there. I mean, yeah, let me finish this,
reading me out to a windowless white van. It's like, yeah, whatever.
Gandalf would just be sitting there looking at me, filling cells and formulas.
Andy be you know what you stay here? He walks its like,
but not you, Steve Wise. No, it's ironic because I work with
like twelve dwarves. Just come in. They're going on an adventure, Like,
Steve, can you can you cover our report? Yeah? Sure,
I'll see you in the autumn. We're going to Mount Doom. You just
sit here because you're depressing. It's like, how go It's about David If
you can throw me in the fucking volcano. That would be sweet. Oh
the best part was we're going to take the eagles and we're going to ship
on all the traffic because like the giant eagles are just crapping on everything in
Middle Earth. Is the best part. So yeah, it's ah, well,
first smell dumne. At least I'll be warm, which another one of
the on the lists is just sand in your clothes. Yes, sand is
just the worst. I mean, I'm an Anakins skywalker on this one.
I hate it. I hate it so much. It is an Aertan never
to never have to deal with it. You know why, because I grew
up at the Jersey Shore. I lived there for seventeen years and I never
go back because I hate the fucking shore. I hate the people at the
show. Every time my wife says do you want to go to the beach,
and I'm like, do you want to stay married? Like that is
That's what it boils down to, like there's nothing now. I've been to
like beaches, like like in Belize, wonderful beaches because it's it's still,
the waters are blue and it's nice and it's wonderful and it's it's it's great.
But anything on the East coast, the waters are green, and the
people smell, and the and the ocean smells and everything smells and it's like
fish and lotion at the same time. And the free heroin needles are nice.
Yeah, that is true. That is true. I do finally recall
going to There's a place I used to go to it called hunts Stanton,
which I had an old town and a new town. The old town was
like, there's a fancy hotel. There had natural g UNEs and cliffs,
and the new town was where all the arcades and stuff was. So that's
where we wanted to go when we were kids. But the beach is there,
it's kind of like just like one giant ash tray. Because this was
the eighties in England. I don't go to the beach often enough to be
sandy about it. I guess, yeah, I accept that sand is deeply
annoying. But see, there are several beaches on the West Coast when I
was stationed out there, like I'm like northern California where it's more like some
of those beaches are more like just pebbles than it is sand. You know,
it's like it was like a pedal bitch. I feel cheated by a
pebble beach like a bit of sense. I'm okay, I'm I'm I'm anti
sand You know I don't need to make a pearl my buttle, so pebbles
are just extra large sand Steve. I know I can't crush them beneath my
feet. I like to feel like a big man. Rick. Well,
you said you worked with tw well little people, so like you, That's
why I work every beach rosses pebbles. Do you just like coming to like
Gargamel, like just start taking their things like yeah, well there's a reason
I haven't moved on from the place in ten years. Give me and is
and it's not the salary because now I'm like, I'm like, now I've
got flashbacks to like that uh Warwick Davis show Life is short where it's like
all the English little people running around like and that was adorable, Like and
I want to see what I know. I want to see team meetings and
team building exercises. I want to see this. Have you ever heard the
stories from the what was it the cast of I think it was the Wizard
of Oz. But you get enough little people together and it's not pretty.
Man. Yeah, some of the drunk parties I heard about the Wizard of
Oz got weird. So he doesn't realize that he's like, you know,
he's he's essentially like he works with the Time Bandits. Oh my god,
that would be even better and worse the same time. Like every time he
leaves to the day clocks out, they go on another adventure, they go
to another kid and they just go battle a new evil and their exting.
You know, he gets up the link, grabbed lunch. It's like,
you know, opens up the link microwave, Like, don't touch that.
You say that about everything I tried to get out of. It's a hot,
pucky motherfucker. Apparently that's being remade and I don't know if that's I
don't know it's a show or a movie, but I heard the rumors that
that's being remade. He should leaves some shit alone. Yeah, I'm Terry
gillion Man. Is his stuff Terry Gilliams very unique, very niche taste.
I think that might have been the most accessible thing he did besides Twelve Monkeys.
There's no point remaking that stuff if you can't capture the Vibe leave it
alone. Yeah, right, Entertainment Weekly. So yeah, it's gonna be
a ten episode looks like a ten episode show as a family friendly. There's
an action film. They're gonna break it up and do it like into a
of some some streamy shows. Ten actions like Nope, I'm don't do this.
Don't make a family friendly, you know, like, don't lean into
the weird. That's the Yeah, it's not Terry Gilliam. It's like remaking
a roll Dal book. You can't fight. They're trying to do it now.
They're like, it's really funny. There was a newspaper article about all
these guys how excited they were to remake. They're basically doing sequels toward the
Rold Dahal stories. And then the next day there was a newspaper article and
two of these guys are saying like, oh, yeah, we made a
comment about a glass eye being disgusting and we really want to apologize to everybody
out there who has a glass eye. It was like, this is why
you can't remake well Down. This is you know, you just got to
leave it where it was. This I'm reading apparently apparently Gilliam will be serving
as executive, direct executive or whatever. You'll get a paycheck for doing saying
here's your money. Please don't sue us, and I don't. I don't
blame him from that at all. Right, Oh yeah, i'd sell out
any of my books right now. And take Away TV apparently is set to
co write between the pilot, so I think he's kind of had his day.
Yeah, he comes and he goes because it's like, I like what
he did when they adapted what we do on the show. You went a
bit dubstep there for a bit of man test test one, two three,
And you're having a connection problem. Can you hear me at all? I
can't hear you. Now, I can hear you. You're fuzzing out on
the very hate bit right now. I am very sorry. I can try
to reconnect. No, it's fine, I can hear you. I'm gonna
leave all this in as well so people understand the But yes, what he
did with what we do, with what we do in the Shadows, I
enjoyed that. But they handed it off to other people like and I was
cool. They well, yeah, the thing the thing is and I like
him, but there's there's a bit of that I guess m Night Shamlan,
like you know aspect of you know, you're coming strong with something big,
and then your next thing is still good but not as good, but then
everything kind of gets progressively worse. I like his trick, and he's done
some great movies that don't entirely rely on that kind of irreverence. I'm not
taking any of this seriously. Thing. He's done some movies before that which
are worked really well for him. The Wilder People or something is really good
question for the question for the wild Relation. Yeah, great film, but
it is good. I think he's just got a little bit too complacent with
it. I don't know. I say this because Willer People and something like
Jojo Rabbit are very endearing. They got a quiet fucking love Jojo Rabbit.
Right, if you've not seen Jojo Rabbit, I highly highly right. Jojo
Rabbit doesn't even work. I don't think is a movie without Tycho or T's
style, right. I think people are bringing him in, Hey be the
weird Taiko. We know. It's like, it's kind of like you're type
casting your director. Just be that weird guy. He's like, Okay,
it's a paycheck. Fuck it. This is what you asked for, so
I could do better. Yeah, and if it kind of feels like Disney
did that with thor Love and Thunder, you know, it kind of ignoring
what made the previous movie. A lot of the aspects of what made the
previous movie good. Just hey, Tyger, why don't you suck your own
dick for ninety minutes? And that's what we got, And so time bandits
could go either way. If it's just him taking a pat and sucking his
own dick for a ten episodes, it's gonna suck. But if he's like,
no, I'm gonna the will of you know, the will of people,
not not really Terry gilliam in style, but in terms of writing and
the kind of I guess that kind of weird sort of stunted dialogue and emotional
development they have. It kind of fits. It could it could work,
But at the same time, why fucking bother leave it alone? Well,
it is one of those things like that, it's a time capsule of weirdness
that you know, you had young Sean Connery as a as a Greek king,
you had the Minutes Are, you had obviously David Warner as the evil
guy. He seems escaping me. No, it was brilliant all the way
around. And I don't know if you can you can't put lightning back in
the bottle. So and if they make it American, I'm going to shoot
someone. Oh yeah, they can fuck off of that sort of like you
know, there's kind of there's a style to British comedy. Yeah, it's
that kind of crapness. The appreciation up for that, for to argue again
over ghosts. Yeah, I'll do that with you. It's an appreciation of
its own shitness, which like Red Dwarf is a fantastic example. It's like,
sure, what if Star Trek was British and shit and it's fucking magical.
It really works. But if they try to remake Red Dwarf for America
that was doing really well and they said in America and they recast the people
of Americans and it did not fucking work. It would have been a fine
comedy because the writing's there, the America's there, the money's there. Obviously
America wouldn't even fine comedy. It just wouldn't have been what it was.
Once in a blue moment, it does work because I remember I did enjoy
the American version of Being Human about the same as the original version. I
don't think I ever watched the American version of that, but again, that
sort of struck me as like, Okay, a werewolf, a vampire,
and a ghost live together. Yeah, yeah, that's a plot. That's
any kind of urban fancy plot. The important thing was like, oh,
and they're British and a bit shit. It's kind of like that's what lends
itself to it. It's like these people are kind of like, oh,
I'm a vampire, but also you know, I kind of don't really express
my emotions properly or anything. You know. Well, it's it is a
situation where like I've I I got my wife to watch the American version of
Ghosts and we enjoy it. It is sweet, and it's more they lean
away from the absurdity of the British style into more of like, you know,
a sitcom formula with with a little bit of touch of heart on it,
and that's that is our cut. But that's what they do. Yeah,
I'm not knocking that at all. Things. The Office is a great
example. They did that with The Office. I think the American Office is
fantastic comedy. I don't think it was the groundbreaker. The British version was.
And the British version worked because it had that kind of sardonic refusal to
take its own heart right, seriously, you know, just the inbaked irony
of everything my fucking country. I get it. This is we're after,
We're after fourth of July. You got you want you want you a proud
moment like get British comic track and track and track. I have to wait
till after fourth July giving now that it's after, you're like, but what
I would like you to do the time we have left now? I want
you to tell me about your British version but It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,
because I know you like that show. Now you've got to make the English
You're totally just got after repeat you went on a robot it whatever said England
is great and always comes out with the best. All right, and I
coming back in now test tests. Yes, can you hear me? Okay?
Because you like this show, give me the English version of It's Always
Sunny in Philadelphia. We don't do that. We don't take American stuff and
try to make English stuff out of it. And that's right, and you
never will. You're fucking losing bottom bottom with Rick Male and Aid Edmondson three
seasons of the worst fucking people you can ever imagine, living in a scummy
apartment together trying to get laid. The whole thing feels like it's filmed through
a layer of Greece and all they do is beat the shit out of each
other in amusing ways. And that was a good twenty years before. It's
always sunny. It's not the same thing. But if you want grimy or
awful people, but they're British bottom, what a wonderful note to end on
my god like Steve's bottom, like ri Rix Jersey heritage and large sweaty man.
I will just say because long time listens will probably wonder why I didn't
spend the last like fifty minutes bitching about my pool, and that's because the
pool is officially dead. All rulation the line was shot, so I cut
it up. We were originally thinking about turning just a just a casual drive
by Italian ventilation. You know, you know what, one of the one
of those one of the one of those Russian wet rifrales with no with no
boring on it, but yeah, it's like originally we were gonna we were
gonna turn into like a giant plant or kind of like a kind of like
a greenhouse. But then when I was in cutting up the liner, I
got stung by a wasp. And at that point, now I'm kind of
like, Okay, cool day. I think I'm just gonna pick this fucking
big apart. Yeah. Yeah, it seems like a good omen to me
to destroy your your greatest enemy? What is Rick now without his greatest enemy?
This he man without his skeleton? H we will, I guess we'll
find out. Did you at least take photos of it? Like standing there
like a proud like got like one of those buck hunters, like who shooting
deer, like like standing in front of the corpse of it, like like
so happy, Like that's your Christmas card. I would have if I didn't
get stung. And I assume that that was its revenge. And no,
I'm not going near it. If the records is still out there, you
need to go out there and just stand on top of it and like just
like as far as I'm denserted, that is now a pet cemetery, it's
spoiled ground. I go you know, if this turns out to be the
opposite of Poulter, guys, then you are haunted by your pool. Just
now. The thing is, but that's the worst part. Liner could come
out and like wrap you up. And I've seen the horror movies do this
right, like the death pool, the pool that drowns Rick. I mean
we can watch this movie. Yeah, yeah, look here's the thing.
You're like, you know, most of that works because oh you're you're you're
wrapped in the pool. Liner, You're being dragged underwater. Yeah, okay,
okay, I'm wrapping an old tool lner that's like that that's about as
thin as uh as copy your paper. Now, okay, that's annoying.
Just turns into a Zenti suit. You're like, actually this is this is
kind of hot, you know. Okay, uh well, I guess with
the death of Rick's pool, summer has concluded for another year. Thank you
for ginning into our summer side quest. I hope you're I hope you're getting
outdoors more than I am. I hope you're not being breathed on by a
large hairy man and his forty nine brothers. And I hope your pool is
dead until next time. Goodbye bye everybody. Authors and Dragons brought to you
under Creative Commons license, meaning you were free to share this material so long
as credit is given to those who created it, which is us people.
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