Made a decision a face sunny sum on Ihad Vision night. What's that everybody?
Oh my gosh, it's Monday morning. I could not be more relieved
to have my therapy. That's right, get together and chit chat on a
Monday morning at a busy night last night. We'll talk about Yeah, busy
morning this morning with the travel that we'll talk about. But maybe we should
say hi to our peeps. I think I think we should. And our
newest one in the hopper is Kelly. I'm gonna call her Kelly Ladi Da
because she feels very fancy now that she's a member of our shoutout pe La
de Da. And we still have Anne a Fairs Farris Wheel. Yeah,
she's Spinning's not the actress, but just not Anna Ferris Aaron. Who is
Rachel our Low Honeycomb. That's because she's not new anymore. That's right,
She's been sticking around for a while. Randy may Ames too many names.
NICKI call you girls, call us call us NICKI? Yeah? Uh,
Ashley so chic. Leslie is accosting people? Bill Yeah yeah? And did
she give a cough dropt to her friend? The two Leslie's and Jacob is
very growley. Yeah, but we'll lower him. Rito Rocks, everybody's kids,
heroes kids and Elizabeth Williamson's kids in her best nete Athena is dancing on
tabletop somewhere still dirty, doing that dirty dancing. Polly love your pancakes,
and this is Rup Valerie, Bubba Fenwick Catterie to check that, Moler,
Gabby and Missy Shan Voshpeg Rebecca Cute, Kelly Brandt, you know, shall
have a TikTok. Alicia Ascolante from the City of Malmante, Sarah Stefano,
what's the matter for you? Jennifer, get up? Santra's not easy being
green. Christa you make a buddy boot buddy. And Stephanie's a stinker wringer?
What's up? So this? You had a billy morning, had a
late night last night, had a busy morning. This how I was?
I would like start with that, start with you where you went? So?
Uh No, you're Stephanie, Jody my pal. She is a big
John Mulaney fan, as are we all I know, and so is Sonny
who I took doing. I went to put my hair like I you know,
you know when you just go to put your arm like on an armrust,
but there's just nothing there. So then I was like, it's just
a pillow motived. And then when I got it all the way like you
have your arm that way more than I was like, this is not comfortable.
So then I tried to dorm proceed. It's a visual thing. Everybody
should be okay. So she's a big John mullaney fan, by the way,
very good looking guy. John Mulaney is he okay, So here's the
thing. She was like, she loves his act and her boss got her
tickets and John Stewart was playing too, so she was like, you know,
I know your pals with John babied All Dixon is probably going to be
there out seeing him in a while, so you could have just gotten tickets,
just you could have just yeah. So it was a kind of a
thing like you know yeah, And she was like, but she already she
already got light and sweet, baby, light and sweet. He was smoking
cigarettes inside the auditorium, of course he was, and he smoked. Now
you don't give a fuck. He smells like he smells like Versace alone,
Marlboro reds and coffee. That's and he looks like he could be friends,
one of Jimmy James Soprano Tony Sopranos guys. And because he's just got that
like Italian looking face, he's tan, tan, tan, He's got a
black head full of hair. He's probably like, I don't know, close
to sixty sixty by now, still in shape, five foot nothing, he's
not very tall, but he's exactly what you would picture, which is why
everybody calls him baby Doll James, baby doll Dixon, because he's like that
fucking agent from New York that fucking fuck this and fuck you and fuck blah
blah blah. And you know, my client don't run roll over in bed
for nothing less than the one hundred thousand dollars or whatever, billion dollars whatever.
He's got a good clientele. So yes, so's he's a character and
a half. And he was smoking cigarettes in side of the oscars when Natalia
went right right at dinner. She's like, Mom, nobody's allowed to smoke
in there, but he's in there just him, and like Dave Chappelle,
maybe that's about it. He's allowed to smoke, nobody bothers him. But
anyway, so we go there. So it's a big cashot. So it's
at the Pasadena Civic Pasadena Civic Convention Center as John Mulaney, John Stewart.
So Jody and I are like, okay, let's go down there early.
We'll get a bite to eat and then we'll go see the show. So
we get parked, we go to this Mexican restaurant and everybody that's in there
is there to see the show. So it's packed because you can hear people
talk Conny Central blah blah blah bla, John maullaney, bubba, you know,
in the background. It's packed. We don't really get to eat because
we're now running up against the clock. Things starts at seven. We get
at seated in the restaurant five fifty six o'clock. It they're packed, and
so we just eat chips and salta and have margarita and call it a day.
So then we go across the street. Now I don't know if anybody's
experienced this lately, who's been to a big live show, But you go
across the street to the theater. You get your tickets at will call.
By the way, Jody sees some famous chef. I can text her and
ask and she's like, oh my god, Oh my god, he's in
front of us getting his tickets. Asian dude like fomo como, fomakami.
I don't know. Dylan would know. I don't know. I from Shocko
yolo something. You know what I'm talking about? Now? All right,
She's like, oh my god, I watch this cooking show blah blah blah.
I was like, boring cooking show. Where's the Housewives at? That's
how I would be too, Yeah, okay, you know how And the
kids are like our kids. I would group your kids in with my kids
on this one. You ever have the kids go like, oh my god,
we saw and it's always a YouTuber or a TikToker. Oh my god,
they're freaking out. And I'm like, oh know who that is?
I know a chef before I know a TikTok. What Bravo show is this
person? Otherwise forget exactly. Yeah, and even Top Chef I don't watch,
right, that's on Bravo. I don't. I don't never watch any
of them. Never. Oh. Only one I would know is Gordon Ramsey.
I like the Gordon Ramsey one, right, Like I was just gonna
say Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Night, Mersey. I'm in for that, but
like I just because I want him to yell at me. Yeah, I
know, I know. So he's the only chef I know. For some
reason, when we turn our like smart TV on in the living room,
it's not it doesn't go to cable and it doesn't go to an app.
It just goes to like Hell's Kitchen on repeat. And I find myself going
to like turn on the TV to watch football and there's Gordon Ramsey just yelling
at people, and I'm like, I think I'll just stay here for a
while. I'll just sit here. That's how they get you. Yeah,
yeah, it's zero. I love I love that chill little shows. So
so you see a famous chef, yes, say so. Anyway, So
we get across the street and it's a big cashah. There's a huge,
humongous crowd of people and they're going through, uh the metal detectors and then
they say we're gonna take your phones, which I was kind of prepared for
because when I went and saw John Mulaney at the Rose Bowl, they took
our phones. They put it in this neo prem bag. Right, they
took our phones and we went to Uh, yeah, it's blind. Remember
we have to put our phones in the thing. Was it in the pouch?
Yeah? I was in the pouch. Lock it and you have to
come back out and have them unlock it. Right, So they do that.
But now I have my purse, which is this purse which is kind
of like meet like small to medium size purse with me. Jody's got,
I mean it's a burkin bag and those are those are a little big my
burkin from it Amazon twenty thousand dollars right at least? I mean, well
you know it's a rare one. So yeah, and I mean you have
eighteen more. So that's just it just gets your back up right, right,
because normally they're like you spend like twenty five because you want the good
ones. Right. But anyway, going, so Jody's got a clutch,
right, so she's got a small purse. Okay, they are like they're
going down the line to go. If you got a purse it's bigger than
this, you're gonna have to go put it in the in the lockers at
the ice rink around the block. What shut up? Or in your car?
Why? And her car's parked like on level five pee something far away.
What do they think people are bringing to see John mulaney and John Stewart.
I know this is the tamest crowd I know. I mean these are
old people and their parents, right, I mean, the most understanding you
want to get along, peaceful people. What if they think is happening with
a small purse and I don't know, I don't know, and why we
And by the way, we don't remember where we parked, so we're not
walking all way back to our car, you know, I mean we got
we took a picture of where we but like we're in the middle of the
convention center right now. We got to go back to parking and go down.
I mean the show's going to start. Or we can go to the
ice rink which is around the corner, go inside get Quarters because you need
four court. I mean you've lost me at Get Quarters. I'm done.
I'm going I'm home. I'm going home me, I know, Jody,
or I'm throwing out my purse and just taking my wallet and keys. Right,
it's like what I mean, really, Okay, we get the phone
thing. So now Jody's like, you know, one cocktail. Energy's like
call baby doll, get baby doll on the phone. Where why are we
waiting outside? Where's our per And I'm like, relax. I'm kind of
with her on that though, Like you're literally friends with the people that are
performing and the agent, right, So I just purse, I know.
So I do call baby down and he's like, yeah, Baby, I
don't know what's going on out there. He's like, but you know,
I'll come find you after the show. And I was like, at what
the show? What are we gonna do? I'm not gonna be here shown
be arrested for my big purse to take in everybody's phones. Baby, I
don't know what to tell you. And I was like, Jody, come
on, let's just let's go put our purses, let's go. You know
the crowd, they'ren't gonna start yet. There's a huge crowd of people around
the block. Like you know they say start at seven. I'm sure you
know doors open at seven, right. So anyway, so we go to
the ice rink. She drops a quarter. She's got three quarters. You
need four quarters. I gotta go back to the thing. There's a line
to get the corridors. Oh no, yes, there's like all these hockey
dudes Okay, that about that pretty cute and they're like, well, hello
ladies, Oh what are you guys doing. We're like, well, we're
here to put our fucking purses away and it's freezing inside there. This this
was my biggest complaint when Sadie wanted to be an ice skating and I thought
of you with an Italia ice skating and I was like, this is not
a sport for me. Yeah, I can, it's too cold. It's
too it was too cold. Yeah. So anyway, she drops the quarter,
I gotta go get in line, gotta go get another you know whatever.
And you're around the corner at the pot, and we're around the corner
and I get to two one dollar bills worth of quarters, just so we
have them. I don't know, because she gets to the locker. I
go to the rest room because I got to pee, and then she's like,
I lost a quarter along the way. Can you go get more quarters?
So then I get in line. So now I'm like, I don't
know how much it costs at this point, could be two dollars, so
just to be safe, which was good because when I got to the locker
to give her the other quarter that she dropped. These other two hipsters are
standing there going, uh we only had like fifty cents. Do you guys
have any change? And I was like, yes, here you go like
the good citizens, so helping each other out of all helping each yes,
yes, yes, so it was really nice. The O was nice.
Get back in line, get inside. Seats were phenomenal, like front and
center and in the orchestra pit and then yeah, and then I look over.
Okay, so the shows. So John Mulaney's on for a while.
He was hilarious. So he was opening for John Stewart. Yeah, he
came out first. Yeah. I feel like John mullaney might be more famous
than John Stewart at at this point as a stand up for sure. I
mean I mean as a stand up most definitely. So there was a bunch
of as John Stewart ever had a comedy special before, Yes, a comedy
special, I mean lately, not special stand up special. Yeah. I
don't know if he had a stand up in his life. Absolutely, Yeah,
he was a big stand He was a huge they started doing for sure.
But in the past ever, since he left The Daily Show, I've
never seen like a Netflix's Let kayln look it up. So okay, so
John Mullaney, well, I think there was. By the way, then
we were on line with Brad Williams. Was in line campus him, and
you know there's other people that you look at their face and you go,
oh, I know that's like Doug Herzog headed Comedy Central was there. So
now I'm like, well, this is kind of like an industry crowd.
So we get good seats and was there an opener? There was? I
think there was, because when we first got in there, like I had
to go to the bathroom, there was somebody on stage. It wasn't John
Mullaney. She went and got in her seats. I went and gotten but
then I got in a seat. John Mullaney just got on stage. Did
you find anything, Gayla? I saw one in ninety six and maybe two
more like HBO ones. But I'm looking at that oh HBO yeah yeah HBO
yeah yeah. Okay, so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah baby yeah,
line sweet baby. All right, First let's talk about Quin's real quick,
and then I'll tell you what happens. Okay, I'm so excited about
Quin's me too. Apparently a lot of our audience did this this Quince's something
that's right up our audience's alli because we like nice clothes. We like a
cashmere sweater, we like a leather jacket, but we don't want to pay
insane prices for it, you know. And that's where that's where Quins comes
in. And I wore my pale pink cashmere sweater wrap last night. Oh
you wore it last night, Yes they did, and I got a lot
of compliments on it. Yes, yes, you wore it to like the
little party that was here at Pata's house. Yeah, it's so cute.
And I have like a bubble gum pink v neck cashmere sweater that, by
the way, Elbie stole from me. Of course. You know what this,
oh you know what they have that like all the kids are wearing and
adults are wearing those silk skirts with the kind of elastic waistband. They have
a really good price on those. I was like, I'm gonna get I'm
gonna get Sadie one nice. Yeah, this is a great place to do
any holiday shopping, right. And they have men's clothes too. I mean
I've pretty much been living in my just shirt and performance shorts since like all
summer, and you know, they came on board at the beginning of summer,
and I'm like, you know, I'm going to get some sweatpants and
just buy my time until it gets cold and it's finally getting cold and I'm
finally able to They're like the most comfortable sweatpants I have ever worn. I
am probably just going to buy myself another pair now that it's cold. I'm
very happy to be living in those rooms. Well, everybody should get some
stuff, get high quality essentials at affordable prices with Quints. Go to quints
dot com slash f col for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day
returns on your order. That's Quint's qui ncee dot com slash f col to
get free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns quints dot com slash
f col. Okay, okay, So there was an opener or you're not
sure, so I think there was, but I don't know who it was.
And then Jody went to the sea and then I went to the restroom.
I came her at the seat right when Mullaney took the stage, you
know, and he's he's cute up there. He's got his floppy hair.
He's got a full head of hair. He's he's wearing a suit. You
know, he's always dressed nice. He's wearing a suit, no tie,
just a suit and white, talking about his new baby. He's got a
baby, told the funny stories about that. His sobriety. He's just hilarious.
But I'll tell you this afterwards when we went backstage, because I was
like, I was like leaning into Jody. I'm like, he is cute,
you know, he's cute, and she's like, yeah, he's in
a nerdy cute. Oh got nerdy cue nerdy cute. But then we get
backstage cute and then right and he comes like we see baby doll, give
him a big hug, baby baby. Have you met John? He's not
talking about John Stewart, He's talking about John Mullaney. Have you met Mlanie?
And he cut because he walks up. Now he's now wearing just a
white T shirt and jeans, and now he's off fucking babe, and me
and Joey are like, oh my owne. And he goes, He looks
right at Jody and goes, do I know you? He goes, I
think we've met before? Do I know you? And She's like like,
I was like, oh my god, because the way he like really looked
at her really intense, very intense. And she was like, no,
I don't know. I mean unless we did cocaine together circa nineteen ninety nine
and caspin very possible, you know, Aspen Colorado maybe, but that would
have been ninety nine, like in ninety nine, ninety eight. But other
than that, no, She's like, no, I would have remembered you.
She's like, he's a babe, like in real life, because he's
taller than you think. Again, he's got the floppy, full head of
hair. Yeah, he's talked about being tall. M hm. You know
he puts that into you. Make sure he gets that in the routine.
Yes, yes, and a white T shirt and jean. Yeah. Yeah,
he's got that something. He's got that star quality. Yeah, he's
a star, but that's for sure. And then there's John Stewart. So
how did you find baby Doll though? So of course you know me and
my anxiety. Wait, but you don't have your phone and did you just
show backstage? So so baby Doll's like my assistant what's his name, Nolan
or something like that, who is just a Doll. He's just this young
like eager go get his other assistants. Now big agent, now William Morris.
Oh yeah. So now this guy's like an up and coming and he's
his assistant. But it's fun to be baby Doll. Well it's fun to
watch Baby Doll and his assistant. So this guy Nolan, he's like,
I'll co So he's like, text Nolan, Nolan's gonna find you because I
said we're gonna put our phones away and then I don't know and he's like,
okay, well we'll come find you after the show. We know where
you're sitting. Okay, So we put the phones away. Then the show's
over, we go and get our phones taken out of hostage, get them
back, and then Nolan's texting us right there. He's like, I'm at
the front of the stage. Come back into the theater. I'll bring you
backstage. So we go backstage and then we go into a room and it's
just like there's Dixon, there's Oh. Then when the lights come up,
we stand up. Oh now okay. So John Stewart takes the stage and
of course everybody loves him. He's getting huge laughs. Can't go wrong with
John Stuart. Right, he is just a pro. Right, and he's
hilarious. He told a lot of funny stories, so his act was good.
He did something really cool recently too. I don't know if you saw
him making the news, like over the weekend. Last week he broke with
Apple, Yeah, because he apparently was doing episodes of his show, which
I think is similar to the Daily Show. It's like documentary style body about
China and artificial intelligence. And Apple said, oh no, no, no,
your show has to like align with our ideas. He was like,
no, fuck you guys, I'm out of here. Yeah. He mentioned
that he made a little slides he did. It's just a little like you
had to catch it, big little dig Yeah. Look interesting. He was
great, he was really good. Yeah, And I would be scared to
follow John Mulaney. I know, well, John Stuart, you know you
got to be somebody like that, right, ye, right, yeah,
he's a pro. Yeah, he's a pro. Like yeah, I know,
I was thinking, I'm like god after that act, I mean he
John Mulaney got like a standing ovation, like people stood up after he was
done. See this is just me and maybe I'm just a narcissist. Well
not maybe I'm sure I am thinking about myself, but I can't help but
go like, this is why I quit stand up. It's like so many
things can affect you know, you have to follow somebody who just got a
standing ovation. I would be going like, well, now I got to
get a standing ovation, right. If I don't get a standing ovation,
it's weird and people are going to talk about it the next day and go
wow, John Mulaney got a standing ovation and John Stewart did fine. I
know, did John Stewart get a standing ovation? Yes, yes, okay,
Yeah. The audience was a great audience. They were a lot of
I think a lot of industry people were there, a lot of comedian types
were there, a lot of hipsters. But the crowd was great, like
they were laughing, laughing, laughing, and so and of course like John
Stewart, John, those two you can't go wrong. They're both phenomenal.
It was a fun show. And I don't like stand up comedy. I
hate it actually, And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna
go, like, I haven't seen John Stewart in a long time. I
haven't seen Dixon in a long time. I heard Jimmy was gonna be there,
so I was excited, you know, to see Jimmy wuz so when
we stood out, this is what I was gonna say. So then the
standing everybody stands up. The show's over, John Stuart Kills. Everybody stands
up. Lights come up and look right in front of me and there's a
blonde woman and a guy and it's Jimmy and Molly, his wife, And
I was like, what the you guys are in front of me? The
whole time I didn't even notice it, and it was it was really nice
to see Jimmy. I love him. He's just the best. And his
wife Molly could not have been lovelier. Like they're just such good, warm
people. They were so sweet to Jody. Jimmy's known Jody forever, going
way back to Gina Kimmel days, right, you know, so he immediately
was like, this is my wife, Molly just so sweet. We were
talking about the kids, and then it's it was a little awkward because he
has because Jimmy's so loyal, He's got the same publicist from day one,
from like Man Show days, and I won't say his name, but he
was his publicist. And people that know Adam know that Adam despises publicist.
He doesn't like them, and he was forced to have the same publicist back
in the day at Mancho. But then eventually Adam's like, fuck this,
I don't need a publicist. If I'm firing him, kept saying his name
on radio. He's like, I don't need him. He's an idiot,
blah blah. I don't know, like I can't And I was like,
so I see the same. I haven't seen this guy in like twenty years.
I was like, oh God, there's what's his name? And I
was like, it's always awkward. Jody's like, what, it's not you
that like followed him, I know, but it's it's like, so I
try not to make eye contact with him. He's like, uh, Jimmy,
this way, this way, let's go this way. You know.
Meanwhile, me and Joey got to go back out into the lobby. You
get our our phones out of you know, Jimmy's getting whisked away. We
got to go and get in line and get our phones taken out of the
hostage. Wonder if they didn't. No, he had his phone, Yeah,
he had his phone because Jody had a pinpoint it. Oh, you
got to keep your phone. Huh, must be nice, must be nice,
must be nice to be Jimmy fucking kim On exactly. So yeah.
So then anyway, so then Nolan, sweetheart that he is king, got
us and then took us backstage, and then his parents, Nolan's parents were
there, and it's like John and I like we John Stewart and I like
waved to each other, gave each other a hug, and then asked John
Stewart out to talk to me. Dixon was like, John, have you
met have you met Nolan's parents? Oh? No, this is Bertie and
this is Phil, Nolan's parents that flew out from New York. Oh then
John, it was such a great time to see you. They were so
cute. You know. Jody's like fucking cock blocking Dixon like because Jody's like,
I want to say I to John Stewart right, because we used to
see John back in the day when we would see Bruce Springsteen and Jody would
come right at the hero stand up for heroes. So Jody was like,
John remembers me, right, don't you think. And as he's about to
walk up, baby Doll just comes right in meet Nolan's parents, Gertie and
from from you know, right Connecticut. So did you ever? So?
Then yeah, then we saw John and then he was like, you know,
we were talking. You totally remember Jody. She was very Jody had
a fantastic night. I mean between John Mulaney going, don't I know you?
And John Stewart going, Jody, how's it going? So he remembers
me, you know, uh so, yeah, it was fun. It
was a good time. And then and then at some point I was like,
okay, come we go. We gotta go, Like I don't want
to feel like a group. I was like, it was really nice to
talk to Jimmy and get caught up and Molly and Jody got to talk to
Jimmy too for a while. And then to see Dixon. He's a grandpa.
Now, I haven't seen him in a long time. You know,
he's showing me pictures. Oh baby, you got to see this Gerber baby
of mine, his grandson of mine. As he's smoking. He's got the
cigarette in his mouth. It's like, John Dixon, do you smoke in
front of your grandchild? No, baby, what do you think I am?
A monster? Of course he does. Are you kidding me? Baby?
Probably? He's probably got his own Versace cologne. It's so funny.
So yeah, and and and yeah, and then we left. Then you
had to go back to the ice skating rink and get your stuff. Yes,
And were they still open? They were still open. They were the
show is over. Bye. We were outside at like nine thirty. Wow.
Yeah, it was over early. And see I'm already tense about like
what if ice skating thing? What if they closed? We asked. Yeah,
we were like, wait, what time do you guys clothes? And
they're like twelve thirty. Oh. And then they had like gate hockey and
then more hockey guys hanging out front, Oh, getting our purses, like,
well, hello fellas. That was fun. Yeah. And then yeah,
we were I was home by like ten o'clock. Oh. Yeah.
It was a nice It was a nice early night. It was really fun
to see everybody. And then this morning I'd get Sonny up for Colorado and
now he's off. So did you drive him to the airport? Well,
no, because he's at the house with his dad last night. Okay,
So he took a lift to the airport and he's flying into Boulder and he's
and his friend and his friend's dad's meeting. So he's going to go from
the airport getting an uber to the University of Boulder and go on the tour
today with his friend and his friend's dad. They're going to meet at the
school at Boulder. Oh okay, So he probably have to leave early,
yes, because his tour is at one thirty okay, so to get So
I just wanted to get up early because he was taking an eight to ten
am flight out oh geez. And I wanted to make sure that the lift
was I planned the lift to pick him up the night before and everything,
and and Jody's like, let him do it, let him do it,
And I'm like, well, he's gonna do everything else, Like I just
want to make sure because I if I was at the house, I would
be doing it. But I just want to make I want to plan the
lift to get there. You know. Jody's not a mom, like let
me, let me do everything for him. So anyway, So but once
he gets there, he's flying by himself. He's going to get from the
airport to the university by himself. He's gonna have to go find his friend
and his friend's dad, and because they got on a separate flight, and
then I'm going later today and then we're going to go to the other university
tomorrow and fly home tomorrow night. That's a huge trip. Yeah, it's
gonna be a big quick When Elbe flew by herself, I think I told
you this. It was a couple of weeks ago, and she went to
Berkeley and she was I was waiting outside. I dropped her off, like
at the airport and then did I tell you this story already? Maybe a
little bit. And then I was like, okay, Like, I mean
she'd never gone through security before. I think we talked. I mean it's
Burbank Airport, so it's a smaller airport. Yeah, so it's not that
hard. And I'm sure for sunny too. It was early in the morning,
so it's you know, I'm sure there weren't big lines. Yeah.
Yeah, but you know, she just had to figure out how to check
her bag. She was checking a bag. I think I told you that
because her friend at the last minute was like, bring a sleeping bag,
and she was like, yeah, I was just going to do carry on.
So yeah, so you know, she had to do all that herself,
and I was, you know, she was nervous so I was like,
I'll wait for you. But then I think I told you this.
But then I was like, what am I going to do? Like at
the curb outside of the airport, I'm not going to come in there.
I'm not going to park right and go in and do it make her.
So I was like, I'm just going to drive and you know, talk
her. I'll pull I literally did pull over though and text with her because
she was like, okay, I put oh I told you that. She
was like, do I go to the what do you call it? The
the uh no, the pre pre if you've TSA pre check? Yes,
she was like can I do I go to the TSA pre check? And
I was like no, and she was like wait, why what is it?
And I was like it's for people that paid money and went to the
airport and did got for people that travel all the time. You don't,
so you have to go to regular right. And then she was like,
oh, there's a long line for that, and I'm like yeah, yeah,
yeah. But then she was like, okay, luggage is checked in.
I'm in the line. And then she and then I was driving and
then she texted me She's like I'm through the line. I'm good, right,
You're you going to get a coffee? Yeah? Yeah? This morning,
I when I have lyft so I can see because remember last time I
flew, I set the uber to come the next morning and they were like,
yeah, we're gonna be fifteen minutes late, right right. I was
like fuck that. So that's why I wanted to get up this morning make
sure the lift got picked him up on time, which they did. So
then I see him get into the lyft because I'm watching him on three sixty
and then I call him and he texts me, why are you calling me?
And I'm like, because you need to know the address or where you're
going when you get there, So I just I want to explain it to
you. You know, when you get there, you got to give the
address. Where are you going on the campus. You can't just go take
me to Boulder University, right right? You got to know where you're going
for the tour and so anyway, but I think he was like embarrassed to
be on the phone when he's in the uber and it's quiet or whatever.
I don't know, but yeah, so he's he's on the plane right now.
He should be landing soon okay, Yeah, that's exciting. Yeah,
it's ect So you're just going for one night, both of us. Yeah,
oh, you're just going to meet tonight and then you leave after the
tour tomorrow you fly home. Yeah, got it. You got it,
like four o'clock in the afternoon. So yeah, that's uh. It sucks
because I wanted to see Boulder that university because he likes it, and I
think Italia applied there too, Yeah she did, and then she's yeah,
I told you last week, she's done with everything, and now I got
a plan to go to Arizona. And then Jimmy reminded me last night that
he went to Arizona for Arizona Universe a ASU. Yeah, Arizona State University,
that one, Yeah, for like a year or two or whatever when
I lived out there. Yeah, and then he transferred somewhere else. I
think he was there and then he moved. He went to Vegas, I
think after that, and lived in Vegas, and I think that's when he
got a job as a DJ or something. He was doing weddings, djaying
weddings, but then also working at like the radio station or something, or
then he married I don't know, Gina. I don't know he did something
like that. He was in Vegas, so he didn't go to four years
of college. No, No, he was like college wasn't for him.
And then he told my nephew Anthony the same thing, like if a college
not for you, come visit me after you graduate high school and I'll give
you a job. And Anthony stuck to that and went from Chicago to la
and started a work for Jimmy for like eight years and then realized like,
I want to get married, I want to have kids, I want to
have a family, I want to make money, moved back to Chicago,
learned the Chicago got a Series seven for the stocks being on the stock exchange
floor. And now he's like a partner of a company making a lot of
money with his wife and two kids. I mean, there's just so many
different ways to do it, you know. And it's just it's interesting to
me now that my kids are at this age, you know, I mean
thinking about college. You know what, Let's take a quick break. Yeah,
and we're back. Uh. That was my radio keys very that was
my public radio voice. No. But it's funny because you know, I'm
going through this with Lbie. It's and just the pressure and the intensity of
everybody applying for college and the certain colleges that are good and blah blah blah.
I asked John the other night about Syracuse because I was like, did
you love college? Like was it the greatest time? You know? Because
people are so focused on it and there are you know, you and I
we didn't go to college. Kaitlin too. We we figured we figured it
out. Look at us now. But I said to Albe, I was
like, it really took me a long time to figure it out. I
do wish I wouldn't go back to college. I kind of wish I went
to college though, just for and it wasn't for me. I was just
not academic minded. I didn't want to be in school anymore. I hated
it. I hated the idea of it. But in retrospect, do I
wish that I'd maybe started from a place of having graduated college. I get,
I mean, it also depends what you want to do. But do
I wish that I hadn't waited tables till I was twenty eight? Kind of
yeah, like I told I was saying to Elb, I was like,
you know, I did a lot of shit, like just took a long
time to get started. I mean, yes, I was doing stand up.
I was. I was like a risk taker in that way and trying
different things. But along the way to make money, I was like a
lot of you know, driving the stupid limo and having a lot of out
like wasting time of not having to be a hustler with the cock to I
mean the years I spent cocktail waitressing and I'm not a cocktail waitress. Yeah,
like I also for me to drink, but yeah, those years were
me like being at a preschool with a bunch of kids. I'm not a
little kid person, like yeah, I mean I guess I was back then
maybe, but yeah, it was just a lot of wasting time, just
take you know, just nothing real jobs, you know. And then eventually,
you know, my dad was like listen, if you're not what do
you want to do? What do you want to do? I want to
work in television. Okay, well this is what you got to do,
right, But we found these ways around it. You know. My first
job in television also was like I told you about the woman that was like
do you want to be on this dating game show? Do you want to?
And I was like I don't want to be on the show, but
I want to do you need writers? And then I had to beef up
my resume and go like make a resume and I didn't have a restume.
I waited tables. That's all I did, and to get a new job
waiting tables since I was fired so much. I was not a good waitress.
I had way too much attitude. I was always arguing with managers,
always like whatever they wanted me to do, I had a better way to
do it. You know. I was always the person that was like,
do you really need me on the floor anymore? Like it's ten, nobody's
here, And you know, I always wanted to be the first one cut.
You know, did you do? I hated side side work. It
was just like I was just always in a bad mood. Yeah, never
went into my waitressing jobs with a good attitude. Snuck and drink alcohol all
the time. Right, we kept me my friends and I And this was
not even like the when I was when I was cocktail waitressing. Forget it.
I would get drunk at work. One time I got so drunk I
couldn't do my checks. And I will tell you about that now. I've
never seen a cock now that I think about it, I've never seen a
cocktail waitress drunk. Well maybe you have. I just didn't really, I
just didn't realize it. It's you know, busy, and that's true.
So we worked when I worked at Residuals. Do you remember Residuals? Yeah,
still there isn't it. I think it is. I think they do
karaogi, Yeah, I think they do. That's where I told you that
I was friends with Matt Perry. He used to come in all the time
before he was famous, before he got friends. Because I was like twenty
one, I was maybe I was like twenty one when I cocktailed there,
and you know, we were like a little close knit group of cocktail waitresses
and a few famous people because it was like four sort of actors, right
exactly, Residuals. Yeah, Matt Perry would come in and just get really
drunk. Anytime I worried that I drank too much, I could look at
other people that were like, well that person really drinks too much. Matt
Perry was one of them, right right, you know. But I just
remember that we would, you know, like there was this one bartender that
I would sometimes go in the stock room and make out with because you know,
I'd have a couple of drinks and then he'd be like, I gotta
go get some more glasses. That I'd be like, oh, do you
need help, and he'd be like yeah, never ever made out with him
outside of work, right just at work. He would just make out.
He'd grope me, and then I'd come back out and like, I get
to my tables, you know. But we had a thing where you'd and
this was old school, you would just write your drinks that you wanted.
Oh my god, you want to hear something that I also did. I
was I would steal. I would I was like, not embezzling, but
what do you call it? When you like I was taking money? Because
I would write, I would take a drink order and then when the customer
said they wanted another round. So what you're supposed to do is when you
get your drinks, the bartender makes a line under the drinks that he just
made, so everyone's in a while. He would forget though, because he'd
be busy, so you'd just grab the drinks and he wouldn't have marked under
your drinks, so you'd go if they wanted the same thing. You'd just
go back and like he'd make it again. Because he didn't, he'd throw
the line under it. Wow. So I did that as often as possible.
And sometimes I'd be like, you guys, want another round, same
thing? Like I try to get them to order the same thing, or
if they wanted something different. Sometimes I would take another drink and I would
sell it like if I had an extra beer, Like say, they'd be
like, same thing, but she doesn't want to be or she wants a
blah blah blah. Then I'd get them another round, order the other.
I had all these weight imaginations that I would do in order to like,
I mean, I was up to no good, right, Wow, that
was a little alcoholic a change. Anyway. We would always we would always
have like a shot at Yaegermeister and he'd give us sort of like a little
glass of Yaegermeister, and you'd come to get your drinks and you take a
big swig at your yeager mice. One time, by the end of the
shift, I was so drunk that my and I worked with my roommate and
like my BFF at the time, and she had to do my add up
all my checks for me because I was just she like sat me in a
corner so I didn't get in trouble and had to do it all for me
and like do some of my side. And then there was a time that
I had to do it for her. We were all drinking for each other,
right, a bunch of alcoholic. Yeah. The reason I got fired
from that job is because I called the boss's wife a cunt. What that
doesn't sound like you? What the fuck you call the bosses? She really
was, I believe it. Oh my god. She was a you know
the radio station. Oh my god, what's one oh four point three Coast
Coast? Yeah, she was a DJ on the Coast FM. I'm not
going to say her name because that's just wrong. I mean, this was
so many years ago, right, this was like thirty years ago. But
she but he was he used the guy who owns Residuals used to be a
booker for the Tonight Show. He really, Yes, Craig Tennis is his
name. He was actually fine. It was just as I just didn't get
along with the wife. Was one of these wives that was like kind of
blonde and kind of stuffy and like acted like she owned the bar. And
I get you know, he had bought it with other investors. It was
like an investors bar, but he was the guy who ran it day to
day. And she didn't do jeck shit. She would just come in and
like look around, and it's like, watch you sling a drink or help
us out in some way when we were busier swinging your deck, bitch.
Yeah, And she was so she was so bitchy and rude. And it
was you know, back in the day when there was tons of smoking.
It wasn't a big bar, and it would just be so smoking in there.
And I hated it, you know how, I don't I don't do
well with cigarette smoke. I was always feeling sick and I was always coughing
because of all the smoke. Yeah, every once in a while it would
be so bad that I'd be like, I have to go stand outside for
a second, you know. And she yelled at me for I opened the
back door to go, like get a breath of fresh air, and she
yelled at me, and I was like, you know what, you're fucking
cunt, how dare you? And then she told obviously her husband, and
he he fired you why it was time. It was time, I understand.
Yeah. Yeah, well years later, years later, when I was
like trying to do better after I quit drinking and I was thinking about things
that I did wrong, like when I was drinking, I was like,
I need to like make an amends to that guy, and then I never
did. He didn't. No. I was like, I'm the first person
to call his wife a cunt anyway, long divorced, so I'm sure I'm
sure he called her an point exactly. I'm sure everybody. Yeah, I
think she might still be a DJ on really coast. Yeah, all right,
that funny story. That's hilarious. Oh my god, I don't know
how we got started on that. Oh, just the kids are gonna do
the fast that. I cocktail waitress for so many years and hated every second
of it. I hated being a cocktail waitress. I hated waiting tables.
I hated starting a new waitressing job. You know, some people get excited
about getting a new job. I was like, no. As soon as
they'd be like, Okay, you're hired, come in tomorrow at eight am,
I'd be like, oh am No. I quit so many jobs before
they started because I was like, if this six six am, you set
up the salad bar. This is not going to work with my schedule of
staying up late at night. Who can I switch my Can I switch?
Yeah? Can I come in? I'll switch with you. You come in
at six am, I'll come in at twelve. There were so many times
that I trained, like for two weeks and shadowed and trained and got my
uniform, got my shirt and stuff, and then quit before I ever actually
worked a shift. But they have to give you your final paycheck and you
have to come in there and give them back their shirt, right, And
it was like, oh god, could I just walk a shake? Would
just mail it to me? Like, and I don't tak this shirt by
the back door after closing down. Can't you just do a swap? You
leave my paycheck on the back porch and I'll leave the shirt and note you
got to go in there and you got some hostess that's just like staring you
down, like you loser. I was like, I'm a stand up comedian
and I work at the improv. Fuck off kid my check. Meanwhile,
I'm making like no money or you know, I'm an EMC at the improv,
which is the part I left out and making like fifteen dollars to MC
like and and by the way, like, my stand up career never got
off the ground really, so it's not like it's not like I can look
back and go, yeah, well it's a good thing. I was out
there doing stand up every night. No, no, did not become a
famous stand up I've struggled. So therefore I was like, LB, right,
you got to keep up moral to the story going to you're going to
community college. But like, and I know you're feeling dejected and like this
sucks. I was like, but yeah, I promise you, this is
going to be better than like waiting tables till you're twenty eight. There you
go, all right, all right, well we have a good Wednesday a
Thursday special guest. Yes we do. My brother I'm excited coming in.
He's never I kept thinking maybe he's been on before. But when I asked
him to do it, he was like, uh, what would we talk
about? I've never done a podcast before. And I was like, uh,
oh, it's going to be good. It's going to be good.
My brother works for he's an executive producer on a lot of shows for TLC
about people that have like fourteen kids. Oh, Yeah, there's been several
shows, and he also recently worked on a show which I guess is not
airing yet about little people wrestlers. Oh really, so he'll have some stories
for us. Plus I'm sure we he and I will dish about our upbringing.
Yeah, I can't wait. But before we go, let's talk about
the Family Skeptical. It's a podcast about raising kids without you know, that
annoying religion. Got some kids and you're like, I think I could teach
them to be good people without Jesus, you know, or any thing or
all our or anything. A lot of people want to want to talk about
that. Yeah, let's talk about it. Listen to the Family Skeptical.
Also, if you're in Palm Desert or Palm Springs, why not go to
Wilma and Freda. Why not? What would he not like? Good food,
delicious and a free mimosa. Get in there, say hi to Kelly
and eat some made churos. Also, our friend Basic Becky, she will
make you a T shirt, get a mug, get a mouse pad,
get a T shirt for somebody that you care about, and order it early
so you're not thinking around the holidays. Oh no, factality gifts Yeah,
make a private joke with your spouse, you know, or your kid.
Get your kid a funny shirt that's like some joke you guys have. Anyway,
you know what to do, go to just Basic Beechy dot com or
find her on Facebook at basic Becky. And as always, Adam Lerner he
is a car broker. Every single week I see people page. Yeah.
I was just telling my friend about him to look him up. Yeah,
everybody, I told you when I used a car broker before I knew that,
before Adam was even a car broker, he was just cars were his
hobby. I used a car broker and I was like, how did I
ever not use a car broker? It makes They just do everything for you.
It's free. It's free because they get a kickback from the makestealers.
Yeah. Yeah, make it easy on yourself. So you can call him
or text him at three one zero nine nine eight seven zero four eight,
or go to Adams goot acar dot com. Yeah, Hi everybody, Thanks
everybody. We will see you on Wednesday for Patreon. Dad's right, yeah
right, it's your pant now, don't enough at us. It's letting