WEBVTT

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Mac for the first time as a
father. May I speak to you as

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a father? Sure? I viewed
the movie up and once again you know

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this, everyone knows this. The
first ten twelve minutes of the movie.

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You're gonna piss tears. There's no
way around this, right. You could

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be an old person, a young
person, a father, anything at all

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in that twelve minutes. The first
twelve minutes maybe the greatest short film of

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all time. It might be,
Yeah, you might see. But what

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gets me now, what really gets
to me now is Russell's backstory of his

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father that wants nothing to do with
him, right, That's why he clings

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clings ont of the old man so
much. But what makes that more upsetting

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too, is that Frederickson's gonna die
soon and he's right back in the same

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situation. I know. But it's
finally his chance to be a father figure.

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You know. That's why it worked
so well. You have traditionally sort

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of put up down in the pantheon
of pixarm He never put it, no,

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no, no, It was three
top four for me. Oh all

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right, fair enough, fair enough. When we talk about it, just

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seems like you put it, you
don't you don't give it. It's it's

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you know, dude, I think
that I now. I always thought,

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like, Okay, they have these
super heavy moments, but then they go

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up against these super silly moments like
the dogs and all that stuff too.

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It's a super fun movie. It's
very fun. So it has stuff for

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a kid, but then also those
layers with the father son stuff, you

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know, really playing with the adults. How did Raffie take to it?

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He didn't love it? Okay,
I know, but what are you gonna

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do? It? Hit more from
me and that's all that matters. Yeah,

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fair enough. Are you wearing a
McDonald's sweatshirt? Yes? What a

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sweatshirt? I'm jealous of that.
I like that. Should I have worn

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pepsi for this next movie? Oh? God? God? One? Good?

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Three? Yeah, jos three,
King of Queen Good, Mill Street

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entertain good. And I'm Madam Mac
macm web. Uh, I want to

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start over, Matt, mad Macweb. That doesn't make any enough Mac macdhum

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Web. And we are the Mac
and Goo program. We bring you friendship.

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Yeah, and today we are bringing
you I think I think this is

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a first in Mac and gooo history. This review this for me. There

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have been movies you have borderline hated
and movies I have borderline hated. I

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don't think we have simultaneously been this
slow on a movie ever. Don't.

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Okay, but don't say love hate, because I listen love. You can

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get into the nuances of it.
I might think you're a fucking idiot as

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we go on here today. Uh
but this is this is at least a

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first for me. The only other
time I have gone to the theater for

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this podcast yes and wanted to leave
the theater was hell Boy the twenty eighteen,

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twenty nineteen, something like that.
I at one point in this movie,

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we're talking about Madam Web. Madam
Web. By the way, guys

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caught on to that. I actually
took up my phone because I needed to,

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Like vent, I tweeted, I
had to tweet, I don't want

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to talk to because there was four
people in the theater. This is this

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is a first for me today.
This is this is a first in maca

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Goo history for mac Anyways, my
wife texted me earlier, one of her

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co workers. It's like, oh, what did he think of Madam Web?

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So I sent it to him,
like, oh, it's ridiculous.

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But the last thirty minutes is amazing. And what Dana didn't realize what I

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meant by that is it's ridiculous throughout
and it's amazingly bad at the end.

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So now I'm assuming her coworker because
I'm a fucking idiot. Yes, yes,

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you well you set yourself up.
I guess I did. I also

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think there. We've talked about this
movie briefly. Now, we haven't gone

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into it. You saw it a
day or two ago. I saw it

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day after. I saw it last
night, and I can't stop thinking about

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it. This is I'm ready for
this conversation because when I left the theater,

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I was like, that might be
the worst movie I've ever seen in

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theaters. And after like two days, I was like, that might be

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the worst movie I've ever seen period. The final thirty ish minutes of this

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movie, I had my hands over
my head the entire time, going no

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way. I would say the final
fifteen to twenty had some so bad it

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was good and that was it for
me. You you seem to have peaked

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a little bit more. Yeah,
we go to Peru. I'm all in

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good. Madame Webb is the fourth
installment in Sony's Spider Verse. Sony Versus

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just really quickly. The family sitting
in front of me. The mother asked

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the two kids, He's like,
oh, so this is a Marvel movie

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and they go, yes, but
it's not. And the mother got so

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confused and kind of angry. Yeah, just like Dakota Johnson. Seemingly,

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the other three before this have been
the two Venom movies, Venom and Venom

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with their Cars. Of course,
Morbius. Who There are people on the

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internet that believe Morbius is the worst
movie of all time. Morbius is like,

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way better. But I got way
more enjoyment out of this. Oh

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I did not. I did not
at all. Also, is Venom good?

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After seeing this? Is Venom good? The first Venom is solid?

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I would say the second Venom is
not good. Morbius is bad. What

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if the teas to this movie was
you thought Venom was bad good? Madam

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Webb is a PG thirteen action adventure
in sci fi with a runtime of one

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hundred and sixteen minutes, and it
feels like three hours for a movie.

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I checked my phone. I was
having fun with some of the dumb stuff

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during the boring parts. Yet I
was checking my phone the first forty minutes,

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takes an hour and a half.
There's no other way to say yeah

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on Rotten Tomatoes right now, Goo. This says thirteen from the critics,

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fifty five percent from the audience,
which let's be honest, it should be

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zero's. Let's let's be honest,
and Bucky Larson wants to be a porn

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star is at one percent. This
is worse than that. This in relation

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to the rest of the Sony verse. Venom was thirty percent eighty percent.

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Let there be Carnage was fifty seven
percent, eighty four percent. That makes

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no fucking sense. Well do you
think it got high points for being the

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loudest. I just think people were
happy to see Carnage and then they two

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weeks later they're like, oh,
we really they see what Woody Harrelson did

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with that character. That was pretty
bad. MORBIUSKU from two years ago,

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twenty twenty two, again some people
say is the worst comicook movie of all

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time fifteen percent seventy one percent.
And what I'll say about Morbius is it's

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a bad movie. It didn't it
didn't. I don't feel like it went

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out of its way to be bad
like this movie does. So it was

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just a straight up bad movie.
Morbius two. You felt like if it

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came out during a different time it
might have been decent. It just came

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out like twenty years too. And
I feel like Jared Leto in that actually

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did a decent job. Oh he
didn't about the leads in this, he

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didn't, but also a decent job. I thought he sucked, but no,

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he was. He was fine.
I can't think of a time or

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place or television network where if this
came out, anyone says this is good.

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No, there's not a time a
place, There's not a human being

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that should like this. So that
again that the Rotten Tomato scores insane.

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Thirty four. People on Rotten Tomatoes
tell you that you're stupid. On Metacritic,

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this is a twenty seven. I
don't know if we've ever talked about

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a movie below thirty. We've talked
about some movies in thirties. I'll have

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to look up what hell Boy was. I'm sure that was pretty low.

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Venom got a thirty five. Carnage, the second Veto movie got forty seven.

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Again, it makes no sense.
Morbius got a thirty five. So

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the critics weren't too far off between
Venom and Morbius, and that seems kind

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of dumb. But again, once
we hit COVID that all the Rotten Tomatoes

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numbers got cu good. This movie
is written by and we're gonna spend a

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long time pretty much every instance we're
talking about something bad in this movie,

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it comes back to writing. Some
of it is acting, but most of

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it is writing. There's four writers
credited on this movie, so they should

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have all. I don't know,
they should have all somehow tried to come

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up with with pen names. Here
it's all Alan Smithy. We have four

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Alan Smithy's on this project, Mattszama
and Burke Sharpless. They are a writing

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team together. They have written Dracula
Untold, The Last witch Hunter, Gods

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of Egypt, Power Rangers that was
twenty seventeen's Power Rangers. They got like

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secondary on that it was story buy
not screenplay by That is the best thing

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in this They also created the Netflix
Lost in Space series that did okay,

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but no one really watched it.
And they also were the writing team on

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Morbius. The highest Rotten Tomato audience
score out of all those goo Morbius.

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It's seventy one percent So I know
that you said you have to look at

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it and say, let's blame the
writers, But I would say look at

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so in general more than these writers, because maybe they crafted something half decent

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and they got noted to death.
Yeah, you might be right about that,

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or everyone on Sony didn't see Morbius
and just thought it was a success

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and sign these guys back up.
I'll also say this though, that the

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writers knew what they were getting into. It feels like the actors were all

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told that they were in an actual
MCU movie and they were lied to.

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Uh good. The critics scores and
audio are on Rotten Tomatoes. The highest

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one outside of Power Rangers is twenty
five percent. So I would say this

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duo is probably done writing movies.
Maybe. Ever, this is a historically

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bad run. Wait until Craven the
Hunter too. Yeah. The other two

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writing credits went to Claire Parker,
whose only writing credit is this. She

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worked on this movie because she worked
with the director slash writer s J.

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Clarkson on a show called Mistresses,
which s J. Clarkson was the creator

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of. The director go s J. Clarkson has done only television stuff up

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until this point. She's directed a
million episodes of Things Heroes, Dexter,

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Orange of the New Black, Jess
Jones, The Defenders, Succession, Anatomy

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of a Scandal. So she's done
a lot of good. Ye my hands

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out. The quality of this movie
is worse, Like, it looks worse

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than all of these shows. Everyone
in this movie did a bad job if

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you had ever med like and people
joke about this a lot that it looks

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like CW quality this legit looked like
early two thousand's CW two thousand, two

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thousand and three c W. The
movie set in two thousand and three,

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and it feels like it was made
to this but for television and for the

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cw W it is of the Daredevil
electra vein it Like, that's sort of

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the feeling, the vibe you get
from this movie. GOO synopsis. Cassandra

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Webb is a New York City paramedic
who begins to demonstrate signs of clairvoyant.

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Forced to challenge revelations about her past, she needs to safeguard three young women

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from a deadly adversary who watched them
destroyed. Destroyed is a is a weird

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word to use there, uh.
This movie Goo stars stars for lack of

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a better term. Dakota Johnson as
Cassandra Webb, the titular Madame Webb.

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Sidney Sweeney as Julior Kory. I
had no idea that was her. The

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girl had overalls and a pigtail.
She had overalls. She just said,

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like a minute and like two scenes
she had overalls, but still okay.

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Isabella Marcedes Cortizone. We would know
her, at least I knew her from

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the Terrible Transformers movie with Mark Wahlberg. She played his daughter, and she

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was also the adult Dora in that
live action Door from a couple of years

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celest O'Connor as Mattie Franklin. She
was the third of the three young women.

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We saw her in Ghostbusters Afterlife a
couple of years ago. She was

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actually decent in that. And then
you the villain in this who will get

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to it when we get the spoilers. Tahar Raheem as Ezekiel Simms. He

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it's a toss up. You could
go either way. He might have been

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worse than Dakota Johnson. He was
no, he was amazing. He was

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terrible' he was so bad that I
have never seen. No. I'm not

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gonna say that because sometimes the villains
have been butchered by things outside of the

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acting. I have never seen a
villain get acted this poorly, and it

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doesn't help him that no one knows
who the fuck he is in the first

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place. But this might be the
worst com book villain of all time.

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He also was apparently in a no
Napoleon last year. I haven't seen him

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in anything. And then a couple
of the characters we get here gou that

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are notable. Adam Scott plays Ben
Parker, actually good, one of two

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people in this movie that was good. The other person I'd say was good

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was Isabella murch said. I thought
she did a good job. Emma Roberts

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plays Ben's sister, Mary Parker aka
Peter Parker's mother, and she's pregnant in

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this movie. Goo, did you
see the bridal shower? I'm sorry,

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did you see the baby shower?
Right? That scene was horrible, real

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bad, real bad. Like I
would say once you that Cassander did not

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want to participate in your baby games, stop like you two aren't the only

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two at the party. Talk to
someone else. I read online somewhere or

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I heard someone say it. I've
been consuming a lot of media revolving around

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this. They said that Dakota Johnson
acts as if she's like being held hostage,

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and it's very true. Well you
be. Do you have any memories

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of you and your mom? Yeah, my mom's dad. By the way,

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when she said that, my theater
laughed. Wow. They got Mike

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Epps to sign up for this movie. He plays O'Neil, like the head

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of the paramedic squad. And then
we also have Zosha Met. You would

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know her from the Show Girls.
There's actually a very good in that show.

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She plays the villains like person at
the desk and she's the very magical

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desk with like six computers number one, get more computers number two. That

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thing, whatever they were using,
it could just do anything whatever they wanted.

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That was the whole point of that. I cannot okay, before we

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start talking, before we do any
spoilers. Yeah, do you recommend this

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movie? Well, let's let's go. I need to talk about that fing

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computer for a second. No,
let's run through this and then we'll talk

203
00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:20.240
about the computer for five minutes.
I'm good. I forget about the computer.

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So you could just say it now
and there's no spoilers here, nothing

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to spoil to the box office.
To the box office. All right,

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00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:31.159
so box office performance, GW.
This is the worst opening weekend for a

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Sony Verse movie so far. It
made twenty five point eight million domestically,

208
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but that was over a five day
run. Remember this opened on Valentine's Day.

209
00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:43.120
Ended up making almost fifty two million
worldwide, which is fucking mind blowing.

210
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It was number two at the box
office, behind that horrible Bob Marley

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00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:48.639
movie. Didn't You couldn't even beat
that. That doubled it up at the

212
00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:52.159
box office. So that that's real
bad. This this is gonna lose money

213
00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:56.840
by a lot. How many people
were in your theaters? And you saw

214
00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:01.639
it on the Thursday, So I
start on the at four thirty pm,

215
00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:07.159
so a reasonable time, little work. Yeah, I had I believe I

216
00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:11.639
had four people in my theater.
I saw it on Sunday night, seven

217
00:15:11.799 --> 00:15:15.159
ten and it was the final showing
of the day, and I would say

218
00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:20.000
my theater was a quarter filled possibly
wow. Actually, And also when the

219
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movie ended, little smattering of a
PLoud I will say this, we just

220
00:15:24.039 --> 00:15:26.519
saw our guy a couple of weeks
ago. Yeah, I had two people

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walk out of our gyle. No
one walked out of this movie. I

222
00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:33.000
will say this time, I think
the people that cheered at my theater worked

223
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on the movie, possibly because they
stayed for the entire credit and they were

224
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pointing at names during the credits.
Yuck, I don't like that. I

225
00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:43.759
don't like that, Goop. You
want to get through the gautlet here?

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00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:46.720
Sure? Hey, Mac, fun
factor? How much fun did you have?

227
00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:52.200
And I had a blast at the
end of this movie. I'm glad

228
00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:54.919
you said at the end, because
go there's not an ounce of fun in

229
00:15:54.000 --> 00:16:00.240
here. The climax, the final
fifteen minutes does get laughably bad. I'll

230
00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.360
give you that. It's not fun
though, it just it just wasn't angrily

231
00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:07.960
bad, So that's that's really it. I also couldn't believe how many times

232
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they tried to shoehorn the word power
and responsibility and discuss at least guys,

233
00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:21.440
we get it. Yeah, satisfactor. I was quite satisfied. Even when

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00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:23.879
it was boring. They were giving
me little nuggets. I'm like, that's

235
00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:29.360
gonna play later, and then it
didn't. But what they gave us was

236
00:16:29.399 --> 00:16:33.159
even better. Nothing, absolutely nothing
in here. They wouldn't even say the

237
00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:37.600
fucking name Peter Go. They wouldn't
even give us that they were flashing back.

238
00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:42.000
Oh so bad borometer. Yeah,
it was super boring, but it

239
00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:48.360
paid up for it because once they
hit into gear, once they finally said

240
00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:52.200
fuck it, this is where all
of our money is and we wasted it.

241
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:56.279
That's where it's great. I have
never had a theater experience on this

242
00:16:56.519 --> 00:17:02.240
level. The first thirty five minutes
really killed me. The closest thing again

243
00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:04.160
I can point to was that hell
Boy movie in which I leaned to you

244
00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:07.759
and say, I think I want
to leave, but we were gonna talk

245
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.960
about it, so I just stay. I don't know what kept me in

246
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:14.279
this theater, but yeah, this
this movie nearly killed me. Halloween.

247
00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:18.119
Will this movie go down or up
over time? And I am quite satisfied

248
00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.160
with the hot dog score I have
ready, you know what? The one

249
00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:25.559
credit I'll give this movie is it's
so bad it can't win or ween because

250
00:17:25.559 --> 00:17:27.799
it's already at the bottom. It's
at the very bottom. I can't wait

251
00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:32.039
till I can watch it for free, because I'm gonna watch it again almost

252
00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:37.400
immediately. Actually, Aquator, it's
below Aquaman. But if you said to

253
00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:40.480
me right now, Goo, what
do you want to watch again? Right

254
00:17:40.519 --> 00:17:45.400
now, I'm gonna pick Madam Webb
Jesus Christ. You you like fucking waterboarding?

255
00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:48.440
I guess I do. I've seen
some movies over the last few years

256
00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:52.680
that I haven't liked. Some I've
hated some I downright get angry about.

257
00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:56.000
This was the worst of the worst. It's not only below the equator,

258
00:17:56.039 --> 00:18:00.000
it's below the depths of hell Boy, Pants Tent City, Excite bike Mania.

259
00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:04.720
What got you going in this movie? To have Sidney Sweeney in your

260
00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:11.160
movie, gu a woman who I've
spent hours looking up on the Internet,

261
00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:15.880
and to not deliver a pants tent
at any moment is insanity. It's almost

262
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:22.640
impossible you didn't like her dancing on
the table. It's nearly impossible that table

263
00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:27.359
dancing scene. No one's ever done
that. I don't know, and I

264
00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:32.319
can't even I can't even be I
don't know where to begin with. A

265
00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:37.839
movie that featured Sidney Sweeney and played
toxic couldn't get mac going. Have you

266
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:41.640
ever been now, gou we were
fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, once upon

267
00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:45.880
a time, Have you ever been
in a situation where you newly met female's

268
00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:49.599
males, anyone where their first thing
they did was dance on a table.

269
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:52.720
I just said that no one has
ever danced on a table. Yeah,

270
00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:56.119
there you go. That has never
happened. Max, Credit Union, who

271
00:18:56.119 --> 00:19:00.519
are you giving credit to? Listen, I'm a Union guy, and through

272
00:19:00.599 --> 00:19:03.400
I hope ninety percent of the people
involved in this movie never work again.

273
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:06.839
I hope they get fired. I
hope they lose their I get busted,

274
00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:11.759
get busted. Credit to whoever will
now get a job because those people won't,

275
00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:15.400
So credit to those people. Credit
to whoever casted this movie, the

276
00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:18.160
person that convinced all of these people
to be in this movie, a real

277
00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:25.079
parcel tongue, hot dog man,
hot dug man, whatever can I'll let

278
00:19:25.079 --> 00:19:27.039
you go first because I have I
got like three words for this ude.

279
00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:32.200
I'm flabberg acid, I'm dumbfounded.
I truly cannot believe how bad this fucking

280
00:19:32.279 --> 00:19:36.720
movie is. Like I was trying
to think of not just comic book movies,

281
00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:40.960
but all time bad movies, and
I'm having a hard time beating this

282
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:45.640
one. Some that came to mind
were and this is like not the room,

283
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.960
like those B level movies. I'm
taking those like movies that are trying

284
00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:52.240
to make money. Let's say I
thought of The dragon ball Z movie that

285
00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:56.279
came out in like two thousand and
seven with Emmy Rossam that was pretty fucking

286
00:19:56.319 --> 00:20:00.279
bad. How did that? Bubbles? What is happening right now? Sorry

287
00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:03.720
if you aren't watching on YouTube?
What just happened was great? Mac even

288
00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:07.480
thumbs up, and then his computer
stream yard. Yeah, great. That

289
00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:12.440
dragon ball Z movie with Emmy Rossum. The m Night Avatar movie adaptation that's

290
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:17.119
fucking all time bad. If you
want to talk strictly comic book movies,

291
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:21.440
this might be the worst of all
time. I thought about Catwoman. Catwoman

292
00:20:21.559 --> 00:20:26.160
is fucking horrific. Do you get? You get? Like four? That's

293
00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:30.799
really comparable, though, it's really
comparable. Basketball scene alone puts that over

294
00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:34.079
Madame Web because that made me laugh
that we haven't even mentioned how this movie

295
00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:41.160
ends yet. A couple others I
thought about, And these are more ones

296
00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.880
that had like a serious tone,
like this movie does Electra? That's pretty

297
00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:48.039
fucking bad. Maybe Electra is worse
than this, I don't know. And

298
00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:52.079
then the other one, fant for
Stick, the one that wasted Michael B.

299
00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:56.359
Jordan, that incredible cast that is
probably worse than this, more like

300
00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:03.000
Morbius, where it's just boring through
no, because they they waste Doctor Doom

301
00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:06.640
so bad in that movie that it
knocks it down so far. So maybe

302
00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:10.279
that's the worst of all time,
but it also still might be Madame Webb.

303
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:14.400
It's just I don't know. It's
an interesting conversation to have. Actually,

304
00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:17.599
that's one of Dork's episodes this week. I don't know, goode.

305
00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:21.279
I'm giving this two hot dogs for
the amount of characters that I thought did

306
00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:23.799
a good job. That was Adam
Scott's Ben Parker and Isabella mer said's on

307
00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:27.799
your corizone two two hot dogs.
So you're actually giving it a higher score

308
00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:32.640
than I am, because I believe
giving something in the single digits really says

309
00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:37.759
this is an unwatchable piece of shit. I'm giving it zero hot dogs because

310
00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:41.279
once you hit that zero, it's
so bad that it's good. And I

311
00:21:41.400 --> 00:21:45.119
had a blast watching this. I
can I just push back on that for

312
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:48.920
a little bit. Now, there
are bad movies, horrible movies, so

313
00:21:49.079 --> 00:21:53.200
bad they're good, they'll go past
horrible and then they go into so bad

314
00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:57.319
they're still really really bad, And
that's what this goes beyond so bad.

315
00:21:57.319 --> 00:22:02.759
At around almost every turn of this
movie, I was having a good time

316
00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:07.440
stunning to me and even saying that, like I was having a fun time

317
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:11.680
at the beginning, trying to figure
out why she's like this, Like why

318
00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:17.640
is she such a horrible person to
everybody? How why can't you act like

319
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:22.160
a normal person? A child gives
you a hand drawn color and you're like,

320
00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:25.559
what am I supposed to do with
this? I don't know? Put

321
00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:27.559
it in your fucking pocket? And
that also calls in the question like her

322
00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:33.319
very first scene, which we'll get
to now Spilerlert Spierler Spilight spoiler spoiler spoiler

323
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:37.519
alert, Good you have anything before
I run through the horrific happenings of this

324
00:22:37.559 --> 00:22:40.200
movie. No, I'll just interject
when I have to. All Right,

325
00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:41.640
this movie, for some reason,
like we said, is set in two

326
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:47.119
thousand and three, but that has
actually no bearing on the movie Whatsolest.

327
00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:51.680
So I've actually seen that they were
going back and forth between either making it

328
00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:55.799
set in two thousand and three or
nineteen ninety three, and they just settled

329
00:22:55.799 --> 00:23:00.319
on two thousand and three. But
that was in the middle of the movie,

330
00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:03.359
so a lot of this could have
happened at any time. Christ And

331
00:23:03.559 --> 00:23:07.400
also by putting it in two thousand
and three mean means you rule out it

332
00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:12.440
being in the Ramy verse and trying
to save stuff tinkers down. I'll try

333
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:18.200
to count. That's awesome. Don't
use your thumb. It rules out this

334
00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:22.839
being in the Ramie Verse. It
also rules out it being in the Garfield

335
00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:26.880
universe because it's set too late,
so it's obviously not connected to the Tom

336
00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:30.000
Holland movies. So now you're telling
me there's a fourth Peter Parker that they

337
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:33.319
didn't even want to know. But
also by putting it in two thousand and

338
00:23:33.319 --> 00:23:38.039
three, so her vehicle of choice
in this movie is a stolen, busted

339
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:44.279
up cab that she takes the license
place off of, and she also leaves

340
00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:48.039
the cab number on the top,
which could script that off. Well fucking

341
00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:51.160
unscrew it. I don't know figure
it out. But at one point in

342
00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:56.039
this movie she parks it at an
airport for roughly a week, and no

343
00:23:56.079 --> 00:23:59.880
one says shit, this is in
two thousand and three. Nine to eleven

344
00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:03.480
just happened. No One's gonna say
anything. I was thinking the amount of

345
00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:07.880
times I thought about nine to eleven
during this movie. That alone makes this

346
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:11.119
the worst movie at all time.
Yeah, this movie you think of nine

347
00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:12.920
to eleven one hundred. So I
was like, there's no way this would

348
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:18.000
happen normally in ninety nine or two
thousand post nine to eleven. None of

349
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:21.920
this is also in New York City
while she's doing this with the cab,

350
00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:25.839
she's wanted for kidnapping. Oh don't
get all right, let's get going here,

351
00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:29.759
because I that was fucking ludicrous too. So the movie opens in nineteen

352
00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:34.839
seventy three and the Peruvian Amazon with
Cassandra Webb's scientist mom looking for some specific

353
00:24:34.920 --> 00:24:41.000
spider she's she's heard about. She
has hired this personal security guard that just

354
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:45.279
like follows her around and he once
she finds a spider, he turns on

355
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:48.759
her and the only thing she can
say is she's he's made a bad decision.

356
00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:52.599
Her reaction to finding the spider was
hilarious too. I found the spider.

357
00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:56.400
I found this. She's like running
back and smiling and singing like mcleven

358
00:24:56.440 --> 00:25:00.759
I get a bone, especially finding
a Why she wanted the spider was to

359
00:25:00.799 --> 00:25:06.119
save her baby? Why not run
back like keep it under wraps? Like

360
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:11.000
what are you doing? For sure? And then during their conversation in this

361
00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:15.359
open you hear about lassans, which
I guess means like spider or spiders in

362
00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:19.920
Spanish or whatever it's called. And
then these fucking spider people descend out of

363
00:25:19.960 --> 00:25:23.400
the trees and snatch her up.
And she's also a hallucination. She I

364
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:26.960
was real. She pooh poos this
when he brings it up. But then

365
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:33.680
when Madam Webb is reading about it
later, it's written about in great detail

366
00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:37.400
by her mother. So was her
mother just you know, like trying to

367
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.880
get him off the scent. Maybe
some time had passed, uh when we

368
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:44.359
were in nineteen seventy three that we
missed. I don't know. You're right,

369
00:25:44.359 --> 00:25:48.279
that's good the mother was dead.
And then goo, Mama Web gets

370
00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:51.039
snatched up. They jump through the
trees and then we end up in this

371
00:25:51.079 --> 00:25:55.839
little pool and she's laying there about
to give birth to Cassandra Webb, and

372
00:25:55.920 --> 00:26:00.319
these fucking people put the spider on
Mama Web's chest and let the spider bite

373
00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:03.519
her and she dies eight seconds later. So what's the fucking point of giving

374
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:07.440
her the spider when the baby was
just born? Because you can bite a

375
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:11.839
baby, you gotta let it bite
the mother, and then the umbilical cord

376
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:15.720
feeds it no, because she dies
so quickly, there's no juices flowing through

377
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:18.119
the umbilical cord. Good, the
baby doesn't get any of that. So

378
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:22.839
that right there, the origin doesn't
even make sense. Have you ever?

379
00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:27.799
It's a magic spider God, so
fucking dumb you All you have to do

380
00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:30.920
is have the spider bite the baby. That's it. When the guy pulls

381
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:34.279
out, the baby's like, she's
strong and I'll be here someday when you

382
00:26:34.359 --> 00:26:37.599
need to talk to me. And
then when she comes back to Peru later,

383
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:41.200
there's only one guy there and it
looks like he works in it.

384
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:45.240
He makes this whole speech about he's
gonna look over her. She returns to

385
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:48.240
Peru and somehow finds the fucking spot
that she was. She returns to Peru

386
00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:52.240
with just a map that her mother
drew, and she's got this little knapsack.

387
00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:56.240
She's walking through the fucking Amazon like
the deadliest place on the planet.

388
00:26:56.400 --> 00:27:00.000
She just has a knapsack she got
for three days, three four days,

389
00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:03.680
because no idea. They were at
Ben's house for how long? Oh wait,

390
00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:07.880
probably less than a week week?
Yeah, And then then she has

391
00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:11.200
these visions, finds out her mom
didn't hate her. Her mom loved their

392
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:15.440
Wow, what a fucking revelation that
is. And then this fucking Laseranyes guy

393
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:21.000
gives some fucking backwards term on the
with great power comes great responsibility. I

394
00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:26.279
have it it is Uh what does
he say? He says, when you

395
00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:30.200
take on the power, great responsibility
will come. Come on with that,

396
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:34.960
Come on with it, fucking Christ. Meanwhile, while she's there, the

397
00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:40.960
three Spider women back home are fucking
around with Ben Parker and give him some

398
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:44.559
bullshit about oh, you're the uncle, so you don't have the responsibility.

399
00:27:44.599 --> 00:27:48.200
Like there's another turn on it like
it is. And also it's so funny

400
00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:52.680
that so she's like, wait,
so what are my powers? I was

401
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:55.839
able to just go back in time
and hug my mom. Yeah, And

402
00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:57.920
he's pretty much like, I don't
know what. I don't know. I

403
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:03.079
don't know one thing there literally whatever
the story needs, it's limitless. But

404
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:06.640
one thing you can do is be
in multiple places at once. Just remember

405
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:07.960
that. And you're like, oh, I guess we'll see that again.

406
00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:11.920
But also, okay, so speaking
of visions in uh, you know,

407
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:18.160
looking into the future, Ezekiel having
his dreams of these Spider women, which,

408
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:22.440
by the way, at no point
in the movie, do any of

409
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:26.960
the four dress and costume that was
That was one of the things that like

410
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:30.680
you get mad at after the fact. During the runtime, you're so caught

411
00:28:30.680 --> 00:28:33.680
off guard with everything else. At
the end of it, you're like,

412
00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:37.759
what the fuck? We saw zero
spider women suits. The only things we

413
00:28:37.799 --> 00:28:41.039
saw were in visions. It was
like thirty seconds total. But also so

414
00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:47.400
he has these dreams of these three
spider women killing him, and he was

415
00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:52.720
able to describe this to someone and
then they said, let me dage these

416
00:28:52.799 --> 00:28:57.519
ten years and it's gonna look like
these three children. He signed up the

417
00:28:57.559 --> 00:29:03.640
right person and that woman they have
what eight computers something like that. It

418
00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:08.920
should be a wall of like twenty
thirty computers that are constantly moved Lucius Fox

419
00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:11.839
had. It should be what Lucius
Fox has. Yes, what they have.

420
00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:18.799
But so like there's such an easy
way around this. Zeke was bitten

421
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:21.720
by a spider, right, Like
Zeke got his powers from being bitten by

422
00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:26.839
a spider. So what like maybe
he should have these visions and then while

423
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:29.319
he's walking down the street, because
you know how they all live in the

424
00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:33.680
exact same fucking place, maybe he
has spider senses that say, this is

425
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:37.440
the girl that's gonna kill me.
I don't know. We'll get to the

426
00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:41.920
NSA stuff in a minute, because
I I have I have so many things

427
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:44.759
I have to go over here to
point out how ridiculous. Also, why

428
00:29:44.759 --> 00:29:48.400
did that NSA lady want to have
sex with him? He walked up to

429
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:52.720
her? She works so hard at
nsaying kil you know she's gotta fuck every

430
00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:56.039
once in a while. Oh my
god. All right, we're back in

431
00:29:56.039 --> 00:30:00.680
two thousand and three. Her mind. Also, why why didn't the three

432
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:07.640
Why didn't the three Spider women eventually
kill him? Anyways? Like maybe they

433
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:10.519
found a way to kill him?
Why does Madam One's like, no,

434
00:30:10.839 --> 00:30:14.839
we're interconnected. I'm the one who's
always supposed to No, just what,

435
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:18.759
I don't know what. You could
ask a million questions about the movie.

436
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:22.599
That's it's fucking into the story.
Doesn't make anything horrible, all right,

437
00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:26.200
So we're back at two thousand and
three. Now we finally meet Cassandra Webb

438
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:29.759
and she's with Ben Parker. They
fucking drive their paramedics and drive an ambulance

439
00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:34.440
together. They show them driving to
an accident and go this first like forty

440
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:41.119
minutes of emergency stuff and EMS stuff
drove me insane. Now, I think

441
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:45.480
this happens with everyone when they're when
their job or they're like expertise, when

442
00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:49.039
they're watching something on screen and it's
relative to that, they get turned off

443
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:52.759
very quickly. Like I can't watch
shows about like Chicago fire. Can't watch

444
00:30:52.759 --> 00:30:56.920
that because it's can you watch Dallas
fire? That type of shit? There's

445
00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:02.759
so much wrong in this movie with
simple EMS stuff. And I know it's

446
00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:04.240
set in two thousand and three,
so standards were different, but even if

447
00:31:04.279 --> 00:31:07.799
you go back to then, none
of it makes sense. Do you think

448
00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:11.519
it was just to be like show
that she does have compassion because she has

449
00:31:11.559 --> 00:31:15.359
that job. No, because it
almost makes her come off as an even

450
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:18.440
worse person that she's doing this.
She doesn't give a fuck about the people.

451
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:19.400
Do you think it was just so
that she would know how to do

452
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:25.839
CBR like that's specifically it. They
show these people pulling up to an accident

453
00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:30.559
the standard protocol in any city,
state, or country for probably sixty years

454
00:31:30.599 --> 00:31:37.480
now is police fire EMS. There's
just their one ambulance on this massive bridge

455
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:41.319
in the middle of the city,
and it's just them dealing with this fucking

456
00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:47.519
like four car wreck. Now there's
this one car hanging over the fucking bridge,

457
00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:49.519
and they're like trying to help the
people out of the car. She

458
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:52.000
yaws one guy, but yes,
yes, yes, yes I think there

459
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:55.359
was I think they it was one
guy, they whatever it is, But

460
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:59.160
yeah, they had to cut him
down. So this act her getting in

461
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:02.200
the car and cutting him out would
make so much sense for someone, someone

462
00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:07.519
that's destined to be a hero,
someone that's compassionate about people, someone that

463
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:10.400
likes people. However, Goo,
when you watch the first fifteen minutes of

464
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:15.240
this movie, you realize she fucking
hates everyone and everything. So she would

465
00:32:15.319 --> 00:32:19.960
never do that. She would never
do that. So the whole premise of

466
00:32:19.960 --> 00:32:22.240
the movie, like you said,
makes no sense. The whole reason why

467
00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:25.799
the shit jumps off for her makes
no sense. It would never happen.

468
00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:30.480
She would never put herself in harm's
way. That would never fucking happen.

469
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:34.519
And then on top of it,
the fucking car falls into the river from

470
00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:38.559
a substantial height. She's now submerged
with the vehicle in the fucking whatever river

471
00:32:38.720 --> 00:32:44.359
under for three minutes. She's out
there for a long time. No other

472
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:47.480
response gets kicked up, no dive
team, no police no fire department.

473
00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:52.240
Ben Diegel is now in the water, and there's still no extra emergency people

474
00:32:52.279 --> 00:32:58.839
there. And apparently Ben Parker dives
off the bridge, dives down into the

475
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:01.519
water, pulls her eye of the
vehicle, somehow gets her up onto the

476
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:05.839
side under the bridge, which isn't
just a shore. He would have had

477
00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:10.359
the rock climb with her. Then
he does CPR to her for three seconds.

478
00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:15.759
She immediately comes back and they just
have like a regular conversation. I

479
00:33:15.799 --> 00:33:17.759
couldn't fucking believe it. Okay,
So, first off, Ben Parker is

480
00:33:17.799 --> 00:33:21.759
Adam Scott, So let's picture Adam
Scott doing that, which is even funny,

481
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:25.119
right right, But also what I
like to think too, is that

482
00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:29.880
so he dove in there to save
her, and he pulls her out,

483
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:31.279
and then the first thing that she
should have said is, oh, where's

484
00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:35.200
the guy that we just saved.
Oh he's fucking dead. I helped him

485
00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.279
on the side of the road,
on top of it. Because no one

486
00:33:37.279 --> 00:33:40.319
else responded. Apparently that guy stopped
laying on the road because Ben Parker fucking

487
00:33:40.359 --> 00:33:45.119
dived into the river. He's floating
over there. He fell off the bridge

488
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:49.839
too these days. He stumbled to
the river as well he died. Oh

489
00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:54.279
so then shortly after this we move
on to the fucking the whatever barbecue party

490
00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:59.039
they're having. There, we meet
Ben's sister, Mary Parker ak Peter Parker's

491
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:01.680
mother played by Emma Roberts. She
was fine, She's very pregnant in this

492
00:34:01.880 --> 00:34:05.960
like they're like, oh, when
you do it pretty soon Again, we

493
00:34:06.039 --> 00:34:08.239
later get that shitty line about oh
and by the way, her responsibility,

494
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:13.480
her powers of like seeing into the
future really quick and then coming back or

495
00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:16.480
going back in time, whatever it
is, is like an SNL sketch.

496
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:22.239
It was called ed gloss or trivial
psychic, and it was Christopher Walking who

497
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.639
would touch you and you could see
into the future like one minute, and

498
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:29.800
every time it was like you're gonna
burn your mouth on a hot cup of

499
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:38.159
coffee. That's all I can think
about the entire movie. It doesn't help

500
00:34:38.199 --> 00:34:42.400
that I'm like still getting over this
sickness. That fucking is playing into my

501
00:34:42.440 --> 00:34:45.519
hate for this movie. It's a
sign. It says slippery when wet,

502
00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:50.039
but it's actually dry. You can
walk on it. Gil. Yes,

503
00:34:50.159 --> 00:34:53.280
they got called away from this barbecue
to this fire at the fireworks facility.

504
00:34:53.320 --> 00:34:57.800
They all gotta go I think the
captain, who the fuck his name is,

505
00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:00.679
was gonna like get blown up or
like that. He gets just he

506
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:07.079
backs up and gets taponed. Immediately. They cut to this fireworks factory scene

507
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:12.079
and they show uh, Dakota Johnson
doing CPR and some dude just laying on

508
00:35:12.119 --> 00:35:15.519
the ground by herself. No one's
helping her. There's a man apparently in

509
00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:21.159
need of CPR and no one's helping
her. Incredible. He then makes a

510
00:35:21.239 --> 00:35:25.119
miraculous covering that She says, you're
good. It just walks away. This

511
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:30.519
is now two for two in CPR. Dude, I have done CPR I

512
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:32.480
don't know, one hundred and something
times in my life now maybe less.

513
00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:37.800
Whatever it is, you don't save
damn near anyone, never mind go for

514
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:40.599
two for two like in a week. Oh that was unbelievable. Yeah,

515
00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:44.960
So then she does eight seconds of
CPR. He's cool, and she's just

516
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:46.320
like, hey, can you guys
take care of this guy. Nope,

517
00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:50.039
that doesn't happen. There's no transfer
of care there. She needs to go

518
00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:53.119
with him to the hospital because she
has this vision of O'Neil dying in a

519
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:58.519
fucking car accident. So then she
has this horrible conversation with Mike Epps.

520
00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:01.719
And then he gets into an ambulance
for no reason. There's no one as

521
00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:05.400
the ambulance. They don't tell him
to go to a hospital. He just

522
00:36:05.519 --> 00:36:08.320
drives away for this from the scene, for no reason. Fucking incredible.

523
00:36:08.519 --> 00:36:13.960
He gets t boned. Now he's
dead, but also immediately like I thought

524
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:15.800
that he was gonna because they were
out of a firework factory. I'm like,

525
00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:20.239
Okay, maybe maybe he's gonna get
a firework to the head final destination

526
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:23.199
style. No, he just gets
t boned. No, and then CPR

527
00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:28.280
again. We've now seen CPR three
times in the first thirty minutes of this

528
00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:30.320
movie. And then we also in
the meantime, somewhere in here I forget

529
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:36.360
exactly where it falls in. We
get introduced to the villain Ezekiel and his

530
00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:40.559
swinky New York City apartment and his
right hand lady Goot Again. We talked

531
00:36:40.599 --> 00:36:45.440
about it briefly. As bad as
the coach Dakota Johnson always is, and

532
00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:47.480
especially in this movie, I think
this guy is worse. This guy's the

533
00:36:47.480 --> 00:36:51.880
worst. He does a worse job
than her. This villa is a fucking

534
00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:57.119
indeed, get this suit great question, great question. I have no idea,

535
00:36:57.280 --> 00:37:00.480
Like we've asked this question before in
Venom, because Venom is supposed to

536
00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:04.679
he's supposed to look like that because
he sees how Peter Parker looks, and

537
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:08.280
then he decides to look very similar. So that gets very confusing too.

538
00:37:08.440 --> 00:37:12.119
Well, it would make sense if
his suit looked like this, if he

539
00:37:12.239 --> 00:37:14.880
was basing it off Spider Man.
No, that's what I'm saying. Spider

540
00:37:14.920 --> 00:37:19.119
Man doesn't exist. That's what I'm
saying, there is no Spider Man.

541
00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:22.559
Insane. Also, if this guy
exists, right, if this guy who

542
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:29.719
appears to be a Spider Man later
on eighteen years later, sixteen years later,

543
00:37:29.800 --> 00:37:34.400
when there is a new Spider Man, everyone would treat the Peter Parker

544
00:37:34.440 --> 00:37:39.000
Spider Man as being an absolute havoc
because of this other poisonous piece of shit

545
00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:43.159
that was around twenty years ago.
A great point. It's a great point.

546
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:45.000
Now. As you were talking about
that, I thought, you know

547
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:46.920
what, maybe he saw the suit
in a vision. Whatever. But that's

548
00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:52.039
besides the point. Sometime after this
fireworks factory thing, get we get Zeke.

549
00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:54.639
I'm gonna call him because he doesn't
deserve his full I men for Zeke

550
00:37:55.320 --> 00:38:00.480
he pulls the NSA chick at the
bar their home ballet no up, uh

551
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:06.199
opera? Oh yeah, wherever the
fuck they we walked into an opera and

552
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:08.920
picked up a lady the front row. He just poisons her by a touch,

553
00:38:08.920 --> 00:38:12.119
and I'm like, this is fucking
stupid. It was at that point

554
00:38:12.360 --> 00:38:14.719
where I'm like, this is the
dumbest shit ever. So he steals their

555
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:19.239
n walked in knowing that what are
you doing? No, because in my

556
00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:22.079
mind I thought this movie's gonna be
really bad. I don't think it could

557
00:38:22.119 --> 00:38:25.960
be worse than Morbius, And the
fact that it's like twenty times worse than

558
00:38:27.000 --> 00:38:30.239
Morbius blows my mind. It just
blew my mind. And so again he

559
00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:34.840
kills this woman to steal the NSA
tech. That's why we have the Lucius

560
00:38:34.840 --> 00:38:39.199
Fox situation. And then do they
finally, finally what weave these four women

561
00:38:39.239 --> 00:38:44.400
together? And the way they do
it is so fucking stupid. So the

562
00:38:44.440 --> 00:38:49.039
story of this movie is that Zeke
has a vision that these three girls are

563
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.039
gonna murder him, so he's got
to kill them first. On top of

564
00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:57.280
that, Cassandra Webb Dacota Johnson also
has a vision of Zeke killing these three

565
00:38:57.320 --> 00:39:00.119
women, and she decides she needs
to do something about it. So they

566
00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:05.599
just put them all on the subway
because they also her premonitions don't make any

567
00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:08.880
sense timing wise, Like it's not
like she saw all three of them at

568
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:13.559
the same time having this issue.
It was one by one by one by

569
00:39:13.599 --> 00:39:17.280
one, So while she was having
this third premonition, the first one should

570
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:21.159
be dead. Yeah, you're right, the timing makes no sense about it.

571
00:39:21.239 --> 00:39:23.679
Also, did you see the guy
with a PSP in two thousand and

572
00:39:23.719 --> 00:39:28.679
three? Do you know what you're
the PSP came out? Oh it was

573
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:32.159
after that two thousand and five.
I did notice the PSP. I just

574
00:39:32.639 --> 00:39:37.920
so many movie don't you guys know
when your shit came out? Jesus Christ?

575
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:39.679
I Actually they went out of their
way to show that guy with the

576
00:39:39.679 --> 00:39:45.320
PSP. That's funny. So eventually
these three get attacked by fucking spider Boy

577
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:49.840
in the subway, which is surely
witnessed by dozens, if not hundreds of

578
00:39:49.880 --> 00:39:53.000
people. They managed to escape.
They steal that fucking cab, and within

579
00:39:53.760 --> 00:39:58.719
eight seconds of being in the cab, Goo, a fucking radio station cuts

580
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:02.840
in with a breaking news report that
Cassandra Webb assaulted the cops and kidnapped the

581
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:08.360
girls. How in the fuck would
that have been reported that quick? Number

582
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:13.199
one, but also that it got
reported as her. The only way that

583
00:40:13.199 --> 00:40:17.320
that would have made sense and been
awesome and also would have tarnished his legacy

584
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:22.480
is if that was JK. Simmons. They did allude to, uh,

585
00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:24.239
what's the paper that he is a
daily bugle, They did allude to the

586
00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:28.480
butil Yeah, but I'm saying,
like, make him the Alex Jones character

587
00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:30.920
again, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they're like,

588
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:32.679
we gotta get out of here.
They drive to the middle of fucking nowhere

589
00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:37.880
and she just leaves them there for
like eight hours, so predictably, predictably,

590
00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:40.159
you know they're not gonna stay there, and again, go, this

591
00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:45.760
is all day not day one stuff. But the first day they come together.

592
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:49.079
There hasn't been a second day yet, right, so keep that in

593
00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:52.239
mind. That subway thing happens,
They drive out to the middle of nowhere.

594
00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:58.440
This is all the same day.
So these girls then hike over to

595
00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:02.920
a diner in the again not a
new day. The man sitting in the

596
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:08.079
diner has a newspaper with the three
people you don't remember in two thousand and

597
00:41:08.119 --> 00:41:13.360
three, when there were newspaper boys
on the sidewalk selling the afternoon specials.

598
00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:17.159
Incredible a newspaper with the missing people
from that day, from the middle of

599
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:21.920
the day. That was the dumbest
thing in the whole movie. How did

600
00:41:21.960 --> 00:41:24.320
no one? How did that get
overlooked? That was so fucking stupid,

601
00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:30.119
so dumb. Anyway, if she
fucking flies back from Peru, the car

602
00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:34.000
able to be able to get the
cab out of the fucking air No,

603
00:41:34.039 --> 00:41:37.039
but Peru happens later in the movie. She goes, she goes to the

604
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:43.000
diner and she hits Zeke with the
car, one of multiple times that Zeke

605
00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:46.639
is smashed by number one Get he
gets got by the How does he die

606
00:41:47.159 --> 00:41:52.920
by a letter falling on him after
getting smashed by cars several times? How

607
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:58.440
strong is he? What is her
power set? What are these girls able

608
00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:01.639
to do? How did they be
spider women? Valid questions, all valid

609
00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:06.159
questions. They escape the diner,
they go to this motel, YadA,

610
00:42:06.239 --> 00:42:08.960
YadA. This is when she decides
to go to Peru because she needs answers

611
00:42:09.000 --> 00:42:13.679
good, I'm sorry no. Before
she goes to Peru, she gets a

612
00:42:13.719 --> 00:42:19.760
hotel room with the girls they bond. She she actually thinks about leaving them.

613
00:42:20.119 --> 00:42:22.599
She's like, I'm I might not
be right for this, But then

614
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:24.159
she's like, no, I have
to protect these girls. She teaches them

615
00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:29.840
CPR and then while they're talking,
they all like at the same time,

616
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:34.880
are like, you have to go
to Peru. So she does. She

617
00:42:35.159 --> 00:42:38.559
drives this cab that's been reported stolen. It's got no plates. She drives

618
00:42:38.559 --> 00:42:42.719
it all the way. When she
took the plates off the cab, I

619
00:42:42.880 --> 00:42:45.559
was like, Okay, is she
gonna put a different set of plates on

620
00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:50.760
there? Is she gonna swap cars? Is she gonna do something cunning to

621
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:55.559
not be driving a clearly stolen cab, and not even in New York.

622
00:42:55.639 --> 00:43:00.000
So if it's just driving around the
outskirts, if it's near New Jersey,

623
00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:04.440
someone's gonna look at that and say
that's a fucking stolen cab. The odds

624
00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:09.159
of getting pulled over in a cab
with no plates in severe front edd damage

625
00:43:09.320 --> 00:43:15.000
is pretty fucking good, especially when
you pull into a New York City airport

626
00:43:15.400 --> 00:43:19.000
post nine to eleven. So she
pulls in parks it goes to Peru.

627
00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:22.920
Fucking takes a bus to the middle
of nowhere, Peru, gets out of

628
00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:27.880
the bus and just starts gallivanting free. It wasn't a bus, it was

629
00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:34.039
a single engine plane. She was
oh, bust the plane, yeah too,

630
00:43:34.159 --> 00:43:38.800
it was both. She's in Peru
and somehow from one photo near a

631
00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:42.199
river, which, by the way, I don't know if anyone remembers this.

632
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:45.199
In the Amazon, there's a thing
called the Amazon River. Pretty fucking

633
00:43:45.239 --> 00:43:47.880
big lot of trees by the river. She gets to the exact spot that's

634
00:43:47.880 --> 00:43:52.440
in her mother's photo, and then
fucking Lassarana shows up. This is one

635
00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:55.800
guy done, one guy. Yeah. She meets tree guy, figures out

636
00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:00.199
she can be a hero. Her
mom didn't hate her. She gets back

637
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:04.280
to New York City, still has
the cab, and she gets back with

638
00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:07.360
immaculate timing. Go because now Mary
Parker's and Labor they're on their way to

639
00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:10.360
the hospital. Oh wait, in
two thousand and three, if you saw

640
00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:15.400
someone with a cell phone, would
you have lost your mind? Like Sydney

641
00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:19.280
Sweeney did not two thousand and three, Now like ninety six maybe yeah,

642
00:44:19.559 --> 00:44:22.920
But like she pulls it, would
you have a phone? For a young

643
00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:25.360
person to have a phone, I
would. I would say, yeah,

644
00:44:25.360 --> 00:44:31.119
Well, they're in their teens.
Yeah, there were several people in our

645
00:44:31.199 --> 00:44:36.559
eighth grade class that had the church
chrips. The next stills, yeah,

646
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:38.400
yeah, you're right. No,
I would say, I would say probably

647
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:42.719
a quarter of kids might have cell
phones two thousand and three. Uh So,

648
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:45.920
anyway, she gets back, while
fucking Zeke is chasing them through the

649
00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:51.280
streets of New York City, she
steals, she commandeers a New York City

650
00:44:51.559 --> 00:44:54.760
ambulance, drives it in. This
fucking drove me insane too. This is

651
00:44:54.880 --> 00:45:00.480
like, I don't maybe I'm dumb
for being concerned about this. If you

652
00:45:00.599 --> 00:45:04.719
go into a parking garage, it
is very clear which vehicles cannot fit into

653
00:45:04.760 --> 00:45:08.440
a parking garage. I would venture
to say maybe one percent of the parking

654
00:45:08.480 --> 00:45:13.440
garages on the planet could fit an
ambulance inside. She happens to find the

655
00:45:13.480 --> 00:45:16.000
one that could fit an ambulance.
She zooms around, pops out the second

656
00:45:16.119 --> 00:45:21.039
or third floor, and again HiT's
Zeke with a fucking that was the one.

657
00:45:21.159 --> 00:45:23.880
So like I bought all the way
back in when she went to Peru.

658
00:45:24.920 --> 00:45:29.679
At this point, when she popped
out of the side of that parking

659
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:32.800
garage, that's when I edge of
my seat, eyes wide open, like,

660
00:45:32.920 --> 00:45:37.239
Okay, we've finally made it.
This is what we've been working our

661
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:44.239
way up to this entire movie,
and at this point moving forward, the

662
00:45:44.280 --> 00:45:49.280
rest of this movie is fucking gold. The rest it is amazing. Fifteen

663
00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:52.760
minutes for me to giggle at something. They escaped the fucking ambulance situation.

664
00:45:53.159 --> 00:45:58.159
They lure Zeke to the fireworks factory
and goo, get this. This is

665
00:45:58.159 --> 00:46:02.360
their master plan by the air voint, Madam Webb. They're gonna blow up

666
00:46:02.400 --> 00:46:07.639
the fireworks factory with Zeke in it, but somehow they're gonna be able to

667
00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:10.480
get off the roof and roof and
jump onto a helicopter. That's the fucking

668
00:46:10.559 --> 00:46:16.119
plan. The fireworks also had random
capabilities as well, like some of them

669
00:46:16.159 --> 00:46:21.079
could I know? But like it's
as if she knew which ones were gonna

670
00:46:21.079 --> 00:46:24.000
do what which stack said the fucking
Roman, like the one that blew through

671
00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:30.800
the wall. I was fucking dying. And then oh my god, on

672
00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:35.280
the roof of the building she had
the shield and she was blocking fireworks.

673
00:46:35.320 --> 00:46:38.920
Oh god, yes. So then
inevitably, obviously they get trapped on the

674
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:43.000
roof. Zeke has them right where
they want them. All three girls are

675
00:46:43.039 --> 00:46:46.719
hanging Madam Webb is backed up against
the fucking sign and you're like, oh,

676
00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:50.280
no, way to get out of
this. Wrong, No, but

677
00:46:50.440 --> 00:46:54.199
he says, He says to her, you gotta pick one. And then

678
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:59.559
Batman said, wait a second.
We did this in Batman Forever. Yeah,

679
00:46:59.679 --> 00:47:01.800
we did this in the Amazing Spider
Man two. Yeah, we did

680
00:47:01.800 --> 00:47:05.719
this in Spider Man Fucking No Way
Home. We did this, and then

681
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:07.960
in a Million Movies du Coda,
Johnson said, joke's on you. I

682
00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:14.280
can split into three. This decently
sized piece of metal falls on Zeke.

683
00:47:14.320 --> 00:47:19.039
But remember he's an enhanced human here, so he should be able to lift

684
00:47:19.079 --> 00:47:22.159
this piece of metal that is somehow
keeping him down, and then he gets

685
00:47:22.199 --> 00:47:25.119
fucking dragged in to the explosion as
she gets thrown off the building. He

686
00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:30.840
has been hit by many cars.
It's like, pretty clear he's at least

687
00:47:30.840 --> 00:47:34.960
displayed enough that we know he'd be
able to move that piece of metal.

688
00:47:35.320 --> 00:47:39.920
He is a poisonous, less,
web slunging Spider Man pretty much. Yeah,

689
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:44.000
maybe not a strong spider Man,
but he's he's picking up people with

690
00:47:44.599 --> 00:47:47.159
choke slams here. He's fucking clearly
real strong. So he falls into the

691
00:47:47.159 --> 00:47:51.880
fire, she falls into the water
again, and then they go out of

692
00:47:51.880 --> 00:47:54.400
their way to show one you it
would make a little more sense if there

693
00:47:54.519 --> 00:48:00.960
was like three hundred fireworks blasting to
the water. One fire blasted to the

694
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:05.840
water. She apparently didn't see that, and the fucking firework blitzing byer in

695
00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:09.039
the water blinds her And you don't
even realize that until like a full minute

696
00:48:09.079 --> 00:48:14.519
later. You're like, what,
also, the CGI whenever they show her

697
00:48:14.559 --> 00:48:19.199
with like the webs going around her, Yeah, dear level oh, speaking

698
00:48:19.239 --> 00:48:22.840
of the CGI. By the way, the spider people jumping around in this

699
00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:28.920
movie so bad looked horrible, so
bad, so bad. That's the flash.

700
00:48:29.239 --> 00:48:31.119
That was the one action that they
did in this movie, and they

701
00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:35.079
couldn't pull it off. Couldn't do
it. And then go, guess what.

702
00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:37.880
She's in the water gets pulled out
again by the three girls, and

703
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:42.199
wouldn't you happen to know it?
They now know CPR from that previous scene,

704
00:48:42.239 --> 00:48:45.360
you know, for saying hell yeah, so you remember she taught them

705
00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:47.559
that and that was one of the
sixty awful scenes in the movie. So

706
00:48:47.599 --> 00:48:52.559
they bring her back, we see
she's apparently fucking blind. Cut to her

707
00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:55.280
in the hospital room, they're there
for ten seconds and finally Gou. We

708
00:48:55.360 --> 00:49:00.599
get to the closing scene of the
movie. They're in this fucking top floor

709
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:02.880
apartment and something I thought to myself
heading into the scene, how can they

710
00:49:02.920 --> 00:49:08.239
top what they just did? And
the dialogue in this scene was phenomenal.

711
00:49:08.519 --> 00:49:13.199
Kung pou chicken, how did you
know she has a fucking nose? It

712
00:49:13.280 --> 00:49:15.360
wasn't until she splits into the three, but I laughed a little bit.

713
00:49:15.400 --> 00:49:19.360
And then this scene, this to
me, was the only real scene that

714
00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:22.440
was so bad. It was good. And then she's on that super high

715
00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:28.000
wheelchair with these little ETBT glasses on. She looked like a mix of Cyclops

716
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:34.639
and Professor X with this fucking just
bland oatmeal face just going around. Hello

717
00:49:34.719 --> 00:49:37.599
girls. These girls bop into the
apartment like they're having the best day ever.

718
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:40.360
And she's just sitting there like so
happy, happy as can be.

719
00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:44.280
And you're like, hold on a
second, Like, yeah, she looks

720
00:49:44.280 --> 00:49:46.480
bad, but where smile is like
this, But we're like, hold on

721
00:49:46.559 --> 00:49:51.239
a second, when did she get
paralyzed? Why is she paralyzed? Why

722
00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:54.800
is she wheelchair bound? They didn't
explain that. There's no fucking rhyme Marine

723
00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:58.440
else right too, and she goes, you know, it's great about the

724
00:49:58.440 --> 00:50:04.039
future. You don't know what's gonna
happen. Yeah, and then you get

725
00:50:04.039 --> 00:50:07.119
the Kung pole chicken. It's perfect, do bless you? Oh great?

726
00:50:07.519 --> 00:50:13.199
And oh I forgot about that too, yeah she and she with that line

727
00:50:13.199 --> 00:50:17.360
you said with the future. Now
you're showing off, I guess. She

728
00:50:17.440 --> 00:50:22.079
spins her wheelchair around and rolls towards
the window and looks out into the window

729
00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:27.039
pane into that future scene. Oh
so horrible. And then so, just

730
00:50:27.079 --> 00:50:31.760
to summarize, here go Madam Webb's
power. The whole premise of this movie

731
00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:36.440
is she has these premonitions. She's
clairvoyant. She can see in the future.

732
00:50:36.679 --> 00:50:40.840
She saw these three women's deaths.
She prevented it. They show other

733
00:50:40.880 --> 00:50:45.039
shit happened in the future. So
she is fully aware that Ben and Mary

734
00:50:45.079 --> 00:50:49.679
Parker, two of her best friends, are gonna die, and she's just

735
00:50:49.719 --> 00:50:53.400
gonna let it happen. They even
talk about it. The girls say to

736
00:50:53.480 --> 00:50:57.079
him, oh, he's gonna have
a lot of fun, or if they

737
00:50:57.159 --> 00:51:00.360
might have said to him, uh, being an uncle, it's all fun

738
00:51:00.360 --> 00:51:04.880
without the responsibility. And then Dakota
Johnson gives this dumb smirk like that's what

739
00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:07.760
he thinks. It's fucking unbelievable,
Like you know this is gonna happen.

740
00:51:07.880 --> 00:51:13.000
She like brags about his death.
Yes, it's insane. There's no reason,

741
00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:16.079
based on the movie I just watched
that she can't prevent those deaths.

742
00:51:16.559 --> 00:51:21.719
There's fucking no reason or at least
to attempt to, especially in a universe

743
00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:23.480
it's not even gonna have a Peter
Parker, so you don't need Uncle Ben

744
00:51:23.519 --> 00:51:29.679
to die. Fucking christ O,
good final thought here. Final thought again

745
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:32.679
alluded to this earlier after all that
blew down, and I had seen this

746
00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:36.199
on the internet before I went and
saw it, but it didn't hit me

747
00:51:36.280 --> 00:51:38.760
until I was sitting in my car. We get this movie about these four

748
00:51:38.800 --> 00:51:43.800
spider women and literally never see them
in the suits. They're never in the

749
00:51:43.840 --> 00:51:47.599
suits. You get like two flash
forwards. It's fucking insane. It's insane

750
00:51:47.599 --> 00:51:52.639
that to tease that the way they
did, it's so fucking stupid, so

751
00:51:52.800 --> 00:51:58.480
dumb. I just don't know why
those three are spider women. They never

752
00:51:58.559 --> 00:52:02.480
explain why these three are t like
Dakota Johnson bleeds on them or something,

753
00:52:02.760 --> 00:52:07.679
and then like that's that's how maybe
not something as crass as that, but

754
00:52:07.840 --> 00:52:13.199
like like all their all their periods
sync up, and that's how they become

755
00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:24.039
mac Come, come on, you
have a submission from the writer Jeffrey McNamara

756
00:52:24.039 --> 00:52:31.480
on how they're gonna become superheroes.
But no, but like like like maybe

757
00:52:31.519 --> 00:52:37.599
give a hints toward like how do
they become spider women, because like this

758
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:45.000
was planned to have multiple movies in
this sequence of movies. The only thing

759
00:52:45.039 --> 00:52:47.079
they allude to is that they all
come from like kind of broken homes.

760
00:52:47.079 --> 00:52:52.199
But like that's like not a good
enough reason these days because every hero has

761
00:52:52.239 --> 00:52:54.559
that ship. So you're right,
they should have given you a reason.

762
00:52:55.480 --> 00:52:59.719
Do you want to hear what's next
for Sony? What they have in the

763
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:04.000
in the pipeline here before we do
that, the exact line of the best

764
00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:08.239
thing about the future, It hasn't
happened yet. Cut to her floating around

765
00:53:08.320 --> 00:53:12.199
the three of them, and you're
like, what's it like the giant Oakleys?

766
00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:17.159
Yes, yeah, God, like
a fucking scarecrow. Not for nothing

767
00:53:17.239 --> 00:53:22.199
to Sidney Sweeney's character. I think
her name's Julia Carpenter something like that,

768
00:53:22.480 --> 00:53:24.599
Julia something. She looks like she
has some really fucking cool powers. It'd

769
00:53:24.599 --> 00:53:30.719
been cool to see those. Also, you cast the hottest thing in the

770
00:53:30.800 --> 00:53:34.639
world outside of Anna d Armis.
She's the number one person on the planet,

771
00:53:34.719 --> 00:53:37.719
right and you did that to her, right right? What a fucking

772
00:53:37.800 --> 00:53:43.800
tease. So and also like she
is void of comedy in the movie,

773
00:53:44.360 --> 00:53:46.960
she's funny and other stuff. She
was great in Anyone but You. She

774
00:53:47.039 --> 00:53:51.599
carried the movie. She's good in
Euphoria. She's a very good actress.

775
00:53:51.880 --> 00:53:54.559
On top of the other very good
thing she has Yes, agreed, agree

776
00:53:54.599 --> 00:53:58.519
to agree, Okay, good.
Here's what's next for Sony. So this

777
00:53:58.599 --> 00:54:01.840
year we get two more and honestly, I think this is gonna end.

778
00:54:01.880 --> 00:54:06.840
After this year we get Craven the
Hunter with Aaron Taylor Johnson, which I

779
00:54:06.880 --> 00:54:09.639
think will get yet another Spider Man. T's in that, and then we

780
00:54:09.679 --> 00:54:15.360
get That's August August thirtieth. Venom
three comes out November eighth. I don't

781
00:54:15.400 --> 00:54:17.599
know what the fuck they're gonna do
for that movie, but I think after

782
00:54:17.639 --> 00:54:22.880
those two movies, they literally won't
have a path forward because they won't be

783
00:54:22.880 --> 00:54:29.559
making money. And none of the
characters there's keep caddamn thumbs down. None

784
00:54:29.599 --> 00:54:31.360
of the characters now I'll give Craven
a little bit of a benefit of the

785
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:36.599
dot. I like atj none of
the characters besides Venom is likable, and

786
00:54:36.639 --> 00:54:39.119
you don't even like Venom, so
they're drawing dead now. But the Venom

787
00:54:39.119 --> 00:54:45.039
movies have made decent money. But
that also might cap off the trilogy,

788
00:54:45.199 --> 00:54:47.400
so they don't need to really go
further with that. Yeah, I don't

789
00:54:47.440 --> 00:54:51.559
know, Maybe they just start over
again and then we get some tbds.

790
00:54:51.599 --> 00:54:54.320
And these are all the things that
I think won't happen outside of the So

791
00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:58.760
you have beyond the Spider Verse that's
clearly gonna happen coming out next year.

792
00:54:59.119 --> 00:55:02.000
Tom Hollands for Spider Man movie.
That'll happen not attached to this, and

793
00:55:02.039 --> 00:55:06.880
the stuff they have planned in this
Sony verse. I think SAT series Sinister

794
00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:10.599
six, they don't even have that
planned yet. They have Silk Spider Society

795
00:55:10.639 --> 00:55:14.400
series. I think that was supposed
to be a show that's not gonna happen.

796
00:55:14.800 --> 00:55:16.960
They have the Spider Man No Wir
series that might happen because that's attached

797
00:55:16.960 --> 00:55:22.159
to the Spider Verse stuff. El
Muerto no idea. If that's gonna happen.

798
00:55:22.800 --> 00:55:28.239
No, that is so it's a
Mexican wrestler with superpowers. Oh,

799
00:55:28.280 --> 00:55:31.880
we talked about that, and it's
with bad Bunny, okay. And then

800
00:55:31.920 --> 00:55:37.800
we have an untitled female cast into
the Spider Spider Verse spinoff, which I

801
00:55:37.800 --> 00:55:39.559
don't think that's gonna happen based off
the intr we got in the last movie.

802
00:55:39.599 --> 00:55:43.639
But you never know. I think
the Sony Verse is dead after twenty

803
00:55:43.639 --> 00:55:46.800
twenty four. The DCU DC Extending
Universe died in twenty twenty three. Sony

804
00:55:46.880 --> 00:55:51.039
Verse dies in twenty twenty four.
I think it depends on because I know

805
00:55:51.119 --> 00:55:53.599
that Venom's gonna make money because it's
a likeable character. I think it is.

806
00:55:53.719 --> 00:55:58.119
The last one made money. Yeah, but it was terrible. I

807
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:00.800
you and I didn't like it.
The critics seem to think it was fine.

808
00:56:00.920 --> 00:56:02.599
Yeah, you're right. I think
Craven. Let's see how Craven does

809
00:56:02.599 --> 00:56:07.800
at the box office, because this
movie that'll be more daily underperformed. Oh

810
00:56:07.920 --> 00:56:12.000
boy did it? Yeah? Boy? Did it? Ever? I do

811
00:56:12.079 --> 00:56:15.880
think though, well, I don't
know though, because they have Sony has

812
00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:20.800
shown that they have no idea how
to do a proper scope of their movie,

813
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:23.039
to like keep it in line here
or broaden it and then do this.

814
00:56:23.360 --> 00:56:28.960
It's all over the place. So
probably Craven's gonna attach to seven things

815
00:56:29.199 --> 00:56:30.840
and none of it's gonna be good
enough. You know, like they probably

816
00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:36.119
won't just tell one story. I'll
be completely honest. I want their Sinister

817
00:56:36.199 --> 00:56:40.079
six movie. Oh God, could
you imagine all of these characters that we

818
00:56:40.199 --> 00:56:45.440
know and hate interacting with each other. We have Morbius, Vulture and Venom

819
00:56:45.519 --> 00:56:54.920
currently, but Venom's probably Carnage.
Bring in Zeke, get Seek, get

820
00:56:55.000 --> 00:57:00.840
Zeek on a minimum deal. Bring
in Paul Giamatti. God, Uh,

821
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:05.280
you can do anything? Really?
Yeah, Sony? Could they? They

822
00:57:05.320 --> 00:57:09.159
have now finished off the anything?
This was this? I'm just like,

823
00:57:09.719 --> 00:57:13.840
the more I think about the movie, the more I'm dumbfounded that it happened

824
00:57:13.840 --> 00:57:16.599
this way. It's just so like, at every turning point of this movie,

825
00:57:16.599 --> 00:57:22.440
it's what are her powers? Wow? If you think of choose your

826
00:57:22.440 --> 00:57:27.039
own adventure style type of storytelling or
the way someone might write a story,

827
00:57:27.519 --> 00:57:30.360
you get to sort of this precipice
or this turning point in every story,

828
00:57:30.400 --> 00:57:34.199
and it happens, let's say I
don't know, ten times in a story,

829
00:57:34.559 --> 00:57:37.320
each time they got to a massive
moment, they made the wrong decision.

830
00:57:37.400 --> 00:57:42.639
They took the left, disagree took
the right. Impressive. I think

831
00:57:42.679 --> 00:57:47.800
they nailed it around every corner.
I love this movie. God unbelievable.

832
00:57:47.960 --> 00:57:51.960
So, like I will tell you
right now, of the movies that I

833
00:57:51.960 --> 00:57:54.960
have seen this year, this was
my favorite. It is definitively the worst

834
00:57:55.000 --> 00:57:59.719
movie I have ever seen in theaters, and I'm not gonna rule out that

835
00:57:59.760 --> 00:58:10.320
it's worst movie I've ever seen.
Let's get into and Max. That could

836
00:58:10.360 --> 00:58:14.000
be anything. It could be a
boat. And we ran out of time

837
00:58:14.079 --> 00:58:16.000
for Echo. So what do you
want to talk about? First things First,

838
00:58:16.199 --> 00:58:20.559
very glad our palate cleanser for this
Goup is doomed too. We get

839
00:58:20.599 --> 00:58:24.000
done too this week. So I'm
fucking stoked about I need and put a

840
00:58:24.039 --> 00:58:27.920
podcast. Put your thumb I didn't
even do a thumbs up on that one.

841
00:58:27.960 --> 00:58:30.880
What's going on? Why does yours
do my thumbs up? Why can't

842
00:58:30.880 --> 00:58:32.960
I get a little bubble? I
don't know what were you doing last time?

843
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:36.679
You were saying that you were excited
about something, and then you were

844
00:58:36.679 --> 00:58:43.960
getting all this cool stuff around.
Oh say congratulations, congratulations? Nothing damn

845
00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:49.519
it pretty birthday? No, this
is pretty cool. In my sack this

846
00:58:49.639 --> 00:58:54.440
week h actually really cool. Our
guy Friar of the Change My Mind podcast,

847
00:58:54.880 --> 00:58:59.679
of the book Boys, the hell
t l d r t LD Draft

848
00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:02.280
Game. You know, he's very
successful these days, he do. You

849
00:59:02.360 --> 00:59:06.039
know, we all know, we've
all heard of, even us who aren't

850
00:59:06.320 --> 00:59:09.239
comic book readers, We've all heard
of the comic book writer Scott Snyder.

851
00:59:09.400 --> 00:59:15.079
Yes, apparently he teaches classes.
Friar is in one of those classes.

852
00:59:15.519 --> 00:59:20.480
And Scott Snyder's next project, called
The Cloakroom is coming out soon and it's

853
00:59:20.519 --> 00:59:25.440
featuring short stories of members of his
classes. The opening story in this book,

854
00:59:25.440 --> 00:59:30.239
called The Cloakroom is written by Nick
Fryer, and it's coming out in

855
00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:32.119
like a month maybe or something like
that. It's pretty cool. A story

856
00:59:32.199 --> 00:59:36.840
is called The Widow Maker. The
premise of it is a biker queen ascends

857
00:59:36.880 --> 00:59:43.199
to empress as she finally removes the
organization's long festering virus her husband. So

858
00:59:43.320 --> 00:59:45.400
maybe some sons of anarchy vibes there
saw some of the art. It looks

859
00:59:45.400 --> 00:59:50.039
pretty cool. So there's a kickstarter
here if you want an issue of this

860
00:59:50.199 --> 00:59:53.440
comic book, this book whenever they're
calling it, you can donate too.

861
00:59:53.760 --> 00:59:58.880
And I think the minimum one you
get a copy of this and we'll share

862
00:59:58.920 --> 01:00:00.880
that where we tweet at dorc already
has you go Friar's profile to get it.

863
01:00:01.280 --> 01:00:05.199
But the cool thing is they've already
reached their goal for the kickstarter,

864
01:00:05.519 --> 01:00:07.760
so they're getting it printed and now
it's just for if you want to copy,

865
01:00:07.840 --> 01:00:10.800
go go donate. It's pretty cool, cool stuff, all right,

866
01:00:10.840 --> 01:00:19.559
maccord, I've hit a point in
the episode. I am just fried Good.

867
01:00:20.400 --> 01:00:22.559
You are Nick Fryar. Yeah.
The people can find us on Twitter

868
01:00:22.599 --> 01:00:25.320
and on Instagram, at mac and
gooo podcasts, every other platform. We

869
01:00:25.320 --> 01:00:29.400
are Mac, Amberson and Good.
It's Max Shift seven. Good includes Facebook,

870
01:00:29.440 --> 01:00:32.280
sit Trituning, Castbuckspreak, Google Play, iHeartRadio. We are on Spotify.

871
01:00:32.360 --> 01:00:36.320
More importantly, we are on Apple
Podcasts. Got on Apple Podcasts,

872
01:00:36.360 --> 01:00:38.119
Rate review, subscribe five stars.
If you do that, we'll get you

873
01:00:38.119 --> 01:00:42.000
a free T shirt from the folks
over at Watertown Sports Where. That's Watertown

874
01:00:42.039 --> 01:00:46.000
Sports Where thirty four Modome Street in
Watertown, Watertown Sportswear dot com expert screenprinting

875
01:00:46.039 --> 01:00:50.800
and Embroidery, Deepublic dot com merch. I just held up this is a

876
01:00:50.920 --> 01:00:52.519
photo that we got at one of
the comic cons at one of the fan

877
01:00:52.639 --> 01:01:00.840
expos of you I and the Boy
Meets World cast, including the other other

878
01:01:00.960 --> 01:01:04.800
Billy d And one day when I
was at work, this was the background

879
01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:07.519
on my laptop. One of my
older coworkers walked by and said, Oh,

880
01:01:07.639 --> 01:01:12.760
is that a family photo? And
I said, yes, yes it

881
01:01:12.840 --> 01:01:16.079
is. Why, Yes, it
is good. What are we gonna coming

882
01:01:16.119 --> 01:01:19.639
up at the end of the week? We think Echo, We're gonna dump

883
01:01:19.760 --> 01:01:22.920
at the end of the week.
Maybe we do Echo dump Dune. Let's

884
01:01:22.920 --> 01:01:28.039
go. Maybe we do Dump at
the end of the week, because I'm

885
01:01:28.079 --> 01:01:30.840
also going to a very pinch for
time at the end of the week.

886
01:01:30.079 --> 01:01:36.280
Okay, Echo's already done, though
I know we also need to do our

887
01:01:36.440 --> 01:01:42.599
vault next week. On Tuesday we
have I think we can do it the

888
01:01:42.639 --> 01:01:45.800
next next because it is I think
we get an extra We got one more

889
01:01:45.800 --> 01:01:50.400
week than anything. Are you sure? Yeah? The the Oscars are Sunday,

890
01:01:50.440 --> 01:01:52.480
March tenth, I believe. But
the issue is that we also so

891
01:01:53.239 --> 01:02:00.960
our Dune episode, Dune Too Tune
comes out on March first. We are

892
01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:07.679
recording our episode, our movie draft. The Oscars is definitely March tenth,

893
01:02:07.880 --> 01:02:12.440
Okay, because well, our episode, our movie draft is also coming out

894
01:02:12.599 --> 01:02:15.639
the week that the oscars are happening. Uh, you could do it before

895
01:02:15.679 --> 01:02:20.599
that. We're recording the second,
right, yes, so that you could

896
01:02:20.599 --> 01:02:23.679
do it recording. Hold, I
see what you're saying. Do you want

897
01:02:23.719 --> 01:02:28.079
to record and hold? No,
we can put it in the two that

898
01:02:28.119 --> 01:02:32.079
week could be the dump and I
mean the the Gooby Vault and the draft,

899
01:02:32.199 --> 01:02:36.880
so two three hour episodes. The
Goody Vault will be an hour.

900
01:02:37.719 --> 01:02:43.800
My hand's hurt when I have to
animate live. Uh, I mean we

901
01:02:43.800 --> 01:02:46.559
can have the vault out for the
Monday after the Oscars too. Now,

902
01:02:47.199 --> 01:02:51.559
now before it all right, we'll
figure this out, all right, Tuesdays

903
01:02:51.599 --> 01:03:00.280
for Guesdays. I abuse Kangaroos.
I E. Please flip the cassette over

904
01:03:00.360 --> 01:03:02.239
to side B to continue the adventure