WEBVTT

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Okay, I'm going to make sure
that it is recording. I'm looking at

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the waveform. It is recording.
I see recorded waveform, so it looks

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like it's good. Good. Somebody
sent the nicest text you DM yesterday and

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they said, is there anything we
can do to advocate for your show to

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get you guys better equipment? And
I said, no, not really,

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I mean we just the money's just
not there so and the equipment's not terrible,

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it's just old. And like an
old computer. You know, you

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get an old computer that is,
you know, ten years old, it's

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going to be slower and more prone
to fen up. So but right now

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it looks like it's going to work, and it works most of the time.

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But yesterday, oh my god,
Jenny and I did a podcast for

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fifteen twenty twenty five minutes and then
I the red light that says record was

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glowing. But then I opened up
the screen and there was nothing on it.

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So let's stop bitching about that and
let's move on. So here we

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go with some stuff that we did
yesterday that we will do again again.

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And by the way, I sent
out about twenty staff writers stickers yesterday,

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So if you send an email in
the last couple of weeks. Your sticker

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is in the mail Dave and Jenny. I was listening to the show podcast

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the other day. Dave was looking
for advice on when is the proper time

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to visit Chase, Maddie and the
new grand baby. I feel like the

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correct answer varies for everyone. Just
ask them when would you like us to

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come. Don't give options, let
them decide. And that's kind of what

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I did. Chase is having a
baby in the middle of March or end

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of March, and the question is
do I go right away or do I

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wait until things have calmed down?
And everybody that I talked to vehemently fights

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for their side, Absolutely go right
away or absolutely do not go right away.

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And a friend of mine said,
when I had my baby, I

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wanted to enjoy just the three of
us, just the three of us being,

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you know, a little tiny family
for a couple of weeks. Then

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I wanted visitors. Yeah. I
think it's it's hard to even make the

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decision, probably for Chasing Mattie,
because they've never had a child before,

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so they don't have any idea themselves
how it's going to be. Like they'll

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learn they'll learn. So I think, no matter what if you're there,

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if you're not there for a week
or two, it's they're gonna appreciate you

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being their period. I think so. Next one, it's weird because we

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read all of these yesterday, but
we're going to read these again as if

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it's new. Hey, Bestie's funny
story. My daughter Lexi and I,

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who are p one fans that means
big fans of the show and podcasts.

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We're on our way to a Saturday
morning paint class. We're driving along the

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lovely country back roads of Ianti,
Hicktown, where I live. We saw

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this sign and cracked up. I
said, I got to send it to

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Dave and Jenny. They need to
see it. All I can say is

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welcome to Isanti. Hope you have
a great day. Dart lick from Dana.

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It is a banner that looks kind
of like a state flag hanging on

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a fence, and it's the size
of a flag and on it is a

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dark blue background with a very regal
picture of George Washington. So there's a

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quote from George Washington on this very
regal looking banner. It says, quote,

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eating ass is not a crime unquote
George Washington. And it's so funny

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because George Washington obviously never said eating
ass is not a crime. And it's

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so ironic in the fact that you've
got a very dignified person quoting eating ass

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is not a crime. You don't
know that George Washington never said those words.

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You're right, you don't know.
George Washington could have loved eating ass.

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Yeah, he could have. Don't
you like to think that it doesn't

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seem like, you know, like
one hundred years ago, our grandparents did

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not give blowjobs or have oral sex, like it never occurred to them.

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I do like to think that only
because I mean because of like not fun

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things, which is that like for
women, sex wasn't really supposed to be

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enjoyable for a very long time.
It was more just like, let's get

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you pregnant and have kids. Well, see that's the thing. I mean,

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a hundred years ago, when your
grandparents are great grandparents or whatever had

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sex, they usually waited till they
were married and then was it just a

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I mean, yet there had to
been like horniness and lust and whatever.

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But you got to think that they
probably got on, did their thing,

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and then got off and the guy
didn't care whether she had an orgasm or

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not. But then there had to
been freak ass fucking people one hundred years

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ago. I'm sure there were.
Yeah, I just I think, like,

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obviously, in this day and age, we have access to so many

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different things, so we know a
lot more of like certain kings that are

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out there on the world. Back
then, it's like, maybe there was

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some gossip between the ladies while they
were having the tea of something, but

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I highly doubt they were talking about
eating ass, you know what. Yeah,

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but you got to figure that.
I mean, one hundred years ago,

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five thousand years ago, people,
they'd all kinds of kinky as shit?

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Can I tell you? I read
the book Killing Jesus, And the

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reason I bring it up is because
the opening of the book is about this

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biblical king who is like thirty years
old and he's got every STD and his

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dick is like half swollen, half
red, half fallen off. And back

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then there was STDs but no cure
for them, And you think about how

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miserable that would be. Like STD's
probably back then they were a fact of

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life. Yeah, oh yeah,
I don't know how I would be able

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to handle that if something sort of
popping up down in that region. I'd

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be like, well, I am
dying, can't go down to the mini

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clinic. I mean, what do
you think they did back then? Probably

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put alligators shit on it or something
like that. You know what's going to

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do came full? Don't you think, like if you got genital awards,

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they'd probably be like, well,
this is probably going to kill you.

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We have to freeze it off while
you're wide awake, and we just like

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saw it off or something. I
don't know, you know what, I

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can't even imagine. We are so
lucky to live in an era where if

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you have an STD, you go
in and they're either going to cure it

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or they're going to give you something
to make it very tolerable. Hello to

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some of my favorite people. I
was face timing my family watching them open

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up Christmas gifts. We got them
for my family who lives in southern Minnesota.

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I live in northern Austin, Texas
with my husband and toddler. Anyways,

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I see my day opened up his
gift from my mom and she got

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him it's your I'm taking your kids
to school shirt. I started cackling to

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the point I started crying from laughing
so hard. My dad's been driving bus

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for our local school for over thirty
years. Thought Mom thought it was just

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a cute shirt for bus drivers.
I tried explaining the reason behind the scene,

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but I just couldn't burst their happy
little bubble. Thank you for all

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the laughs and love you. That
is from Stacy Lou. Thank you,

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Stacy. I did send you yesterday
a staff Rider sticker, so it's on

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its way. The shirt that says
I'm taking your kids to school is of

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course based on a War of the
Roses episode where the guy is stoned and

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he's like, I'm taking your kids
to skew. I want to know where

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Mom found that shirt that made her
say, oh, maybe she saw to

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the State Fair. All right.
Next one, this one is about tupperware,

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and Kim says, I hope you
guys are having an awesome weekend.

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We are deep cleaning the kitchen,
and my tupperware is always this organized.

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Thought I would share and maybe inspire
you. I do have a little OCD

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and she shows a picture and I
wish we had a way to show you

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pictures of this, But her tupperware
is so organized, even the colors are

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in the right order. And then
she's got little bins that say measuring spoons,

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measuring cups, garlic press graters,
that type of thing. So very

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organized. Thank you. Then here's
this one, Jenny. Yeah, whenever

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I travel or eat anything that could
upset my stomach, I take digestive enzymes.

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It helps me a lot. I
also swap coffee for mint or ginger

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tea. I cut out any and
all sugars, and I avoid any type

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of hot food, like hot sauce
kind of food. Okay, tummy as

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she just got it. My family
and I are looking at a vacation lake

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vacation arms Cape. Let me back
up. My family and I are looking

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at planning a lake vacation of Minnesota. Where's the best place to go?

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We love strenuous hikes, kayaking,
et cetera. We talked about this yesterday,

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so we have a little bit of
time to put our thoughts together.

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Yep, you've got three different places. Deluth the north Shore, which is

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not your peaceful lake life but great
for breweries and hiking. Yep, you've

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got your Minnetonka kind of a lake
where it's great for kayaking and swimming in

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lake life, but not really for
hiking, and then you've got kind of

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the Brainer Lakes area, which I
kind of is a conjunction of all of

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those. Yeah, because Coyuna is
over there too, and so there's a

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lot of mountain biking and then hiking
trails in that area too. You're not

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going to get a strenuous hike in
Minnesota for the most part. I mean,

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some of the North Shore ones are
going to be a little bit like

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steeper at points. But if you're
a hiker like I would consider myself a

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bit of a hiker because I've done
some pretty extreme hikes before. Yeah,

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you're not going to find anything too
extreme around here, but the best hikes

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you'll probably find on the North Shore. If you want all encompassing, I

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would say near Malax Crosby Brainer that's
a good area. Yeah. I don't

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know that there's any area that has
really all of those, the hikes,

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the breweries, the kayaking, and
a lake life too. But you really

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can't go wrong whatever you choose.
I think you're gonna love it. Dave.

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If you were talking about old fashioned
names, believe it or not,

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Evelyn used to be a man's name, thank you. I did not know

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that and Jenny. I actually it
kind of goes back into poop and legomes

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and things like that, and we've
got a little bit too heavy on the

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poop talk lately, so Kaylee,
I appreciate that, but we're not going

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to read the last part of your
email. But I appreciate you giving us

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a lot of content today, So
thank you next one, And I think

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iHeart is mad at us. Ever
since people started writing in about the podcast

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ads and you started forwarding to the
higher ups the emails, it has gotten

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much worse. It was as bad
as people said it was, but I

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didn't want to write in a redundant
email. But the ads have gone significantly

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up in quad as well as more
non cohesive placement, literally interrupting you guys

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in the middle of a story,
like other people said. Not sure if

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it's a coincidence or they're trying to
test us anyway, No, Biggie,

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love you guys. Thank you,
Jenna. What do you want to say

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about that? Is there anything we
can say about that? No? I

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mean I'm on an email with people
who I don't even actually know in person

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because they don't live in the state
of Minnesota that I'm trying to work with

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that has more knowledge of the systems
we use and they're trying to figure out

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a solution. So as of right
now, I don't have any answers yet.

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All right, next one, Patty
says, when do you record the

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Minnesota Goodbye? Do you do it
after your regular morning show? And right

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now we are doing it during a
War of the Roses replay. It's eight

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fifteen Tuesday morning, and sometimes we
do it during the show during a long

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replay. We need fifteen or twenty
minutes to do it, and if we

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don't have that time during the show
or we don't get around to it,

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we do it after the show,
and sometimes we do it immediately after the

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show, and sometimes it'll be a
half an whatever, but we do it,

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I mean every morning during the morning, usually during the morning show.

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Interesting question. Let's check and see
if I have another one. My eyes

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are dry, so it's kind of
hard to read these. Let's see.

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Okay, that one. I appreciate
that one, but I'm not going to

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read it. Some of the ones
are ones that we've read in like kind

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of a follow up to something,
so there's not everyone works on the Minnesota

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Goodbye. Okay, hold on that
one. Is about Pat Eberts that used

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to work on the show. And
that's not went for the Minnesota Goodbye,

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And I think we're caught up.
So let's go back to yesterday's emails.

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Do we have any naughty Tuesdays?
I'm not sure. I haven't got the

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chance to preread anybody, so let's
check. I think here we have one.

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Okay, here we go, Patty
Naughty Tuesday. Speaking of awkward first

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times, I was in my teens
when I lost my virginity. It was

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the worst place ever. I was
at my boyfriend's parents house and a nasty,

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almost sellar kind of a basement.
It was not finished and it was

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a normal, dirty, cluttered basement. We did it on his weight lifting

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bench down there. I'm pretty sure
that hadn't been used in a long time.

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It was a skinny bench with no
room. Really, looking back,

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I'm not sure how we ever had
sex on it, but we did.

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Ll That is from Patty Ka.
Wow. Feels like someone was like maybe

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standing to make that work if it
was a skinnier, small workout bench.

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That's not what I pictured. I
pictured her laying on her back with her

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legs up in the air and him
straddling the bench. That's what I'm picturing.

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Yeah, I mean, but wouldn't
he mostly have to be standing to

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be in that position? Yeah,
you're right. Yeah, so that's what

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I guess. So yeah, yeah, you could really lay down on it.

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Okay, next one, let's go
to Michelle, Dave Jenny Drake.

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Where do I start? I want
to say thank you for making my first

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four hours so great. Dave,
we have some in common. I was

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born and raised in Colorado, moved
to Wisconsin in ninety three. That's the

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year that I moved here in Minnesota. I'm now in Jacobson, Minnesota.

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You talked about when you quit smoking
and we stopped around the same time.

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There are other things that I swear. We are such good friends and we

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know what each other are doing or
going to do. Please don't ever change.

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Have a great day. I love
that. Isn't it wonderful when you

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find like commonalities with somebody's Like oh
my god, you and I went to

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the same school, or you and
I both hate kale, or you and

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I both love looking at birds or
whatever. That is super cool. Michelle.

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I am glad that we are friends, even if we've never met.

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Come to the State Fair this summer. Michelle and say, HIU, that

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one is about the show suits.
So we're gonna skip that one. Okay,

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that was a spammy one. They
want to talk about their business website.

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This is a bunch of junk.
Here is one that says Minnesota Goodbye

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in the morning crew says Tracy.
I want to say how much joy your

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show brings to me every morning and
afternoons. When I listened to the podcast

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on the drive home, I was
definitely one of those kids in my middle

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school and high school bus rides who
convinced my bus driver to keep driving around

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so we could hear the end of
war the Roses, even if it meant

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being late for class. If we
couldn't hear how it ended, it was

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always such a bummer. Anyway,
onto my real reason for writing. I

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was listening to Minnesota Monday's morning show
the hours I missed when I'm not in

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the car, and I heard Drake
talking about wanting to explore northern Minnesota.

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Well, if you're looking for a
truly life changing experience, then I could

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not recommend going dog sledding anymore.
My boyfriend and I went up to Elee

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this past winter, and went sledding
with the Chili Dog's dog Sledding. When

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I say it was one of the
top three experiences of my life, I

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am not kidding. Several of their
dogs have competed in the Idita Rod,

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which is a big dog sled race. So if you're looking for something to

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use that thousand dollars give away on, I suggest getting out there and doing

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dog sledding this winter. Ps.
It usually doesn't actually cost one thousand dollars.

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Sincerely, Staff writer Tracy from Golden
Valley. Tracy, I'm gonna take

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a picture of your name and address
and send you a sticker. I wonder

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if that requires any sort of training
before doing it, because you're obviously on

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a slug and you know, like, I think you have a guide.

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I think, Okay, I don't
know. We did it at boy Scout

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camp in somewhere in Wisconsin, and
I think there is a musher that rides

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on the sled and that does all
the work and you sit on the sled

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and ride. Okay, that could
be roch nice search for me. I'd

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probably be like holding on and then
the dogs are going in different directions.

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Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, No, it sounds really cool. And something

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that most people in Minnesota have probably
never tried. Guys, catching up on

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the Minnesota Goodbye. My December is
consumed with Hallmark movies, so everything gets

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put off till January. I just
listen to one a few days ago when

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you were talking about saying something embarrassing
that you still think about to this day.

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I immediately thought of the time that
I was at Subway with my sister,

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probably fourth grade. She's a couple
of years older than me. I

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ordered a boloney sandwich. But instead
of pronouncing it how we all say baloney,

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I pronounced it the way it's spelled, Bologna. I knew how to

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say it. I don't know why
I said it that way. My sister

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immediately started laughing and made fun of
me. I'm thirty eight years old and

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she still gives me shit about it. That's all, have a great week

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from Shay. Bologna. That's why
it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't.

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The English language is so wild sometimes
Bologna and the first time I saw

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that spelled. But if you're gonna
say, like Jenny's full of blooney,

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you would write b A l O
n e Y, not b A L

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ogna. I don't think I would. I would do the bologna b o

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l og na, my baloney,
he's got a first name. Okay,

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let's see what we got here.
This is definitely a long one, so

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I want to give it a little
skim here. Okay, talking about going

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up north, and that's I'm gonna
read this probably on the radio. Here

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we go with Naughty Tuesday. Dave
Jenny Drake, don't same a name.

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I am hoping to contribute to Naughty
Tuesday with a question rather than a story.

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Here goes. What all is considered
when determining one's body count? Are

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we including all incidences of oral anal? And what about a good old fashioned

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oh hand job? Okay, hand
job? Obviously it cannot be limited to

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penetrative vaginal sex, as that would
not be inclusive to same sex, trans

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couples, etc. I would love
y'all's opinion on this as I determined whether

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that stranger I jerked off on a
REDDA flight from Chicago is included in my

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body count? WHOA wait, wow, really wow wow copy Yeah. Perhaps

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that's a story for another Naughty Tuesday. Thanks for reading. I will happily

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receive a staff writer sticker, please
and thank you. Hope you are all

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starting the new year with plenty of
dart licks. I know I have,

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Oh I love you. So she's
already eaten ass or had her ass eaten

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this year, so that's awesome.
I do not count hand jobs, blow

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jobs, oral or anything like that
for the body count, Okay, As

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a heterosexual person having heterosexual sex,
yeah I would. I would not count

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it either, But I've never thought
of it as a perspective of someone who

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is not having heterosexual sex. So
I don't know what you would consider with

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two women having sex and two men. If like, there is penetration with

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men, but then when women it's
a little different. So I never thought

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about it. So it is a
little more oral centric with women. So

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I don't know. Well, true, and I never thought about that.

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But you're for a woman, you're
definitely gonna if you have oral sex with

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another woman, that counts as your
body count, yeacause that's what you do.

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But if I had sex with a
oral sex with a woman, that's

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not counted in my body count,
right. But to be honest, and

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there have been occasions where I've had
oral sex but not penetrative sex, yep,

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but it's rare because usually if you
have oral you're gonna have regular sex

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a lot of times. Yeah,
but she's wondering if that HJ on the

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flight counts. But I think I
don't think so either. I would Yeah,

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yeah, I don't know. I
like you though. I'm curious though

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about lesbians. What would you consider
your body count? Then? I think

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anybody that you've had maybe oral sex
with. Yeah, okay, Wow,

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that that opens up a whole new
can look ass and let us know love

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that story. That is going to
be it for the Minnesota Goodbye. We

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were out of time, so anyone's
we didn't get to, we will do

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our best to get to tomorrow.
So thank you. Send those to Ryan's

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show at kadiewb dot com