Okay, I'm going to make sure that it is recording. I'm looking at
the waveform. It is recording. I see recorded waveform, so it looks
like it's good. Good. Somebody sent the nicest text you DM yesterday and
they said, is there anything we can do to advocate for your show to
get you guys better equipment? And I said, no, not really,
I mean we just the money's just not there so and the equipment's not terrible,
it's just old. And like an old computer. You know, you
get an old computer that is, you know, ten years old, it's
going to be slower and more prone to fen up. So but right now
it looks like it's going to work, and it works most of the time.
But yesterday, oh my god, Jenny and I did a podcast for
fifteen twenty twenty five minutes and then I the red light that says record was
glowing. But then I opened up the screen and there was nothing on it.
So let's stop bitching about that and let's move on. So here we
go with some stuff that we did yesterday that we will do again again.
And by the way, I sent out about twenty staff writers stickers yesterday,
So if you send an email in the last couple of weeks. Your sticker
is in the mail Dave and Jenny. I was listening to the show podcast
the other day. Dave was looking for advice on when is the proper time
to visit Chase, Maddie and the new grand baby. I feel like the
correct answer varies for everyone. Just ask them when would you like us to
come. Don't give options, let them decide. And that's kind of what
I did. Chase is having a baby in the middle of March or end
of March, and the question is do I go right away or do I
wait until things have calmed down? And everybody that I talked to vehemently fights
for their side, Absolutely go right away or absolutely do not go right away.
And a friend of mine said, when I had my baby, I
wanted to enjoy just the three of us, just the three of us being,
you know, a little tiny family for a couple of weeks. Then
I wanted visitors. Yeah. I think it's it's hard to even make the
decision, probably for Chasing Mattie, because they've never had a child before,
so they don't have any idea themselves how it's going to be. Like they'll
learn they'll learn. So I think, no matter what if you're there,
if you're not there for a week or two, it's they're gonna appreciate you
being their period. I think so. Next one, it's weird because we
read all of these yesterday, but we're going to read these again as if
it's new. Hey, Bestie's funny story. My daughter Lexi and I,
who are p one fans that means big fans of the show and podcasts.
We're on our way to a Saturday morning paint class. We're driving along the
lovely country back roads of Ianti, Hicktown, where I live. We saw
this sign and cracked up. I said, I got to send it to
Dave and Jenny. They need to see it. All I can say is
welcome to Isanti. Hope you have a great day. Dart lick from Dana.
It is a banner that looks kind of like a state flag hanging on
a fence, and it's the size of a flag and on it is a
dark blue background with a very regal picture of George Washington. So there's a
quote from George Washington on this very regal looking banner. It says, quote,
eating ass is not a crime unquote George Washington. And it's so funny
because George Washington obviously never said eating ass is not a crime. And it's
so ironic in the fact that you've got a very dignified person quoting eating ass
is not a crime. You don't know that George Washington never said those words.
You're right, you don't know. George Washington could have loved eating ass.
Yeah, he could have. Don't you like to think that it doesn't
seem like, you know, like one hundred years ago, our grandparents did
not give blowjobs or have oral sex, like it never occurred to them.
I do like to think that only because I mean because of like not fun
things, which is that like for women, sex wasn't really supposed to be
enjoyable for a very long time. It was more just like, let's get
you pregnant and have kids. Well, see that's the thing. I mean,
a hundred years ago, when your grandparents are great grandparents or whatever had
sex, they usually waited till they were married and then was it just a
I mean, yet there had to been like horniness and lust and whatever.
But you got to think that they probably got on, did their thing,
and then got off and the guy didn't care whether she had an orgasm or
not. But then there had to been freak ass fucking people one hundred years
ago. I'm sure there were. Yeah, I just I think, like,
obviously, in this day and age, we have access to so many
different things, so we know a lot more of like certain kings that are
out there on the world. Back then, it's like, maybe there was
some gossip between the ladies while they were having the tea of something, but
I highly doubt they were talking about eating ass, you know what. Yeah,
but you got to figure that. I mean, one hundred years ago,
five thousand years ago, people, they'd all kinds of kinky as shit?
Can I tell you? I read the book Killing Jesus, And the
reason I bring it up is because the opening of the book is about this
biblical king who is like thirty years old and he's got every STD and his
dick is like half swollen, half red, half fallen off. And back
then there was STDs but no cure for them, And you think about how
miserable that would be. Like STD's probably back then they were a fact of
life. Yeah, oh yeah, I don't know how I would be able
to handle that if something sort of popping up down in that region. I'd
be like, well, I am dying, can't go down to the mini
clinic. I mean, what do you think they did back then? Probably
put alligators shit on it or something like that. You know what's going to
do came full? Don't you think, like if you got genital awards,
they'd probably be like, well, this is probably going to kill you.
We have to freeze it off while you're wide awake, and we just like
saw it off or something. I don't know, you know what, I
can't even imagine. We are so lucky to live in an era where if
you have an STD, you go in and they're either going to cure it
or they're going to give you something to make it very tolerable. Hello to
some of my favorite people. I was face timing my family watching them open
up Christmas gifts. We got them for my family who lives in southern Minnesota.
I live in northern Austin, Texas with my husband and toddler. Anyways,
I see my day opened up his gift from my mom and she got
him it's your I'm taking your kids to school shirt. I started cackling to
the point I started crying from laughing so hard. My dad's been driving bus
for our local school for over thirty years. Thought Mom thought it was just
a cute shirt for bus drivers. I tried explaining the reason behind the scene,
but I just couldn't burst their happy little bubble. Thank you for all
the laughs and love you. That is from Stacy Lou. Thank you,
Stacy. I did send you yesterday a staff Rider sticker, so it's on
its way. The shirt that says I'm taking your kids to school is of
course based on a War of the Roses episode where the guy is stoned and
he's like, I'm taking your kids to skew. I want to know where
Mom found that shirt that made her say, oh, maybe she saw to
the State Fair. All right. Next one, this one is about tupperware,
and Kim says, I hope you guys are having an awesome weekend.
We are deep cleaning the kitchen, and my tupperware is always this organized.
Thought I would share and maybe inspire you. I do have a little OCD
and she shows a picture and I wish we had a way to show you
pictures of this, But her tupperware is so organized, even the colors are
in the right order. And then she's got little bins that say measuring spoons,
measuring cups, garlic press graters, that type of thing. So very
organized. Thank you. Then here's this one, Jenny. Yeah, whenever
I travel or eat anything that could upset my stomach, I take digestive enzymes.
It helps me a lot. I also swap coffee for mint or ginger
tea. I cut out any and all sugars, and I avoid any type
of hot food, like hot sauce kind of food. Okay, tummy as
she just got it. My family and I are looking at a vacation lake
vacation arms Cape. Let me back up. My family and I are looking
at planning a lake vacation of Minnesota. Where's the best place to go?
We love strenuous hikes, kayaking, et cetera. We talked about this yesterday,
so we have a little bit of time to put our thoughts together.
Yep, you've got three different places. Deluth the north Shore, which is
not your peaceful lake life but great for breweries and hiking. Yep, you've
got your Minnetonka kind of a lake where it's great for kayaking and swimming in
lake life, but not really for hiking, and then you've got kind of
the Brainer Lakes area, which I kind of is a conjunction of all of
those. Yeah, because Coyuna is over there too, and so there's a
lot of mountain biking and then hiking trails in that area too. You're not
going to get a strenuous hike in Minnesota for the most part. I mean,
some of the North Shore ones are going to be a little bit like
steeper at points. But if you're a hiker like I would consider myself a
bit of a hiker because I've done some pretty extreme hikes before. Yeah,
you're not going to find anything too extreme around here, but the best hikes
you'll probably find on the North Shore. If you want all encompassing, I
would say near Malax Crosby Brainer that's a good area. Yeah. I don't
know that there's any area that has really all of those, the hikes,
the breweries, the kayaking, and a lake life too. But you really
can't go wrong whatever you choose. I think you're gonna love it. Dave.
If you were talking about old fashioned names, believe it or not,
Evelyn used to be a man's name, thank you. I did not know
that and Jenny. I actually it kind of goes back into poop and legomes
and things like that, and we've got a little bit too heavy on the
poop talk lately, so Kaylee, I appreciate that, but we're not going
to read the last part of your email. But I appreciate you giving us
a lot of content today, So thank you next one, And I think
iHeart is mad at us. Ever since people started writing in about the podcast
ads and you started forwarding to the higher ups the emails, it has gotten
much worse. It was as bad as people said it was, but I
didn't want to write in a redundant email. But the ads have gone significantly
up in quad as well as more non cohesive placement, literally interrupting you guys
in the middle of a story, like other people said. Not sure if
it's a coincidence or they're trying to test us anyway, No, Biggie,
love you guys. Thank you, Jenna. What do you want to say
about that? Is there anything we can say about that? No? I
mean I'm on an email with people who I don't even actually know in person
because they don't live in the state of Minnesota that I'm trying to work with
that has more knowledge of the systems we use and they're trying to figure out
a solution. So as of right now, I don't have any answers yet.
All right, next one, Patty says, when do you record the
Minnesota Goodbye? Do you do it after your regular morning show? And right
now we are doing it during a War of the Roses replay. It's eight
fifteen Tuesday morning, and sometimes we do it during the show during a long
replay. We need fifteen or twenty minutes to do it, and if we
don't have that time during the show or we don't get around to it,
we do it after the show, and sometimes we do it immediately after the
show, and sometimes it'll be a half an whatever, but we do it,
I mean every morning during the morning, usually during the morning show.
Interesting question. Let's check and see if I have another one. My eyes
are dry, so it's kind of hard to read these. Let's see.
Okay, that one. I appreciate that one, but I'm not going to
read it. Some of the ones are ones that we've read in like kind
of a follow up to something, so there's not everyone works on the Minnesota
Goodbye. Okay, hold on that one. Is about Pat Eberts that used
to work on the show. And that's not went for the Minnesota Goodbye,
And I think we're caught up. So let's go back to yesterday's emails.
Do we have any naughty Tuesdays? I'm not sure. I haven't got the
chance to preread anybody, so let's check. I think here we have one.
Okay, here we go, Patty Naughty Tuesday. Speaking of awkward first
times, I was in my teens when I lost my virginity. It was
the worst place ever. I was at my boyfriend's parents house and a nasty,
almost sellar kind of a basement. It was not finished and it was
a normal, dirty, cluttered basement. We did it on his weight lifting
bench down there. I'm pretty sure that hadn't been used in a long time.
It was a skinny bench with no room. Really, looking back,
I'm not sure how we ever had sex on it, but we did.
Ll That is from Patty Ka. Wow. Feels like someone was like maybe
standing to make that work if it was a skinnier, small workout bench.
That's not what I pictured. I pictured her laying on her back with her
legs up in the air and him straddling the bench. That's what I'm picturing.
Yeah, I mean, but wouldn't he mostly have to be standing to
be in that position? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, so that's what
I guess. So yeah, yeah, you could really lay down on it.
Okay, next one, let's go to Michelle, Dave Jenny Drake.
Where do I start? I want to say thank you for making my first
four hours so great. Dave, we have some in common. I was
born and raised in Colorado, moved to Wisconsin in ninety three. That's the
year that I moved here in Minnesota. I'm now in Jacobson, Minnesota.
You talked about when you quit smoking and we stopped around the same time.
There are other things that I swear. We are such good friends and we
know what each other are doing or going to do. Please don't ever change.
Have a great day. I love that. Isn't it wonderful when you
find like commonalities with somebody's Like oh my god, you and I went to
the same school, or you and I both hate kale, or you and
I both love looking at birds or whatever. That is super cool. Michelle.
I am glad that we are friends, even if we've never met.
Come to the State Fair this summer. Michelle and say, HIU, that
one is about the show suits. So we're gonna skip that one. Okay,
that was a spammy one. They want to talk about their business website.
This is a bunch of junk. Here is one that says Minnesota Goodbye
in the morning crew says Tracy. I want to say how much joy your
show brings to me every morning and afternoons. When I listened to the podcast
on the drive home, I was definitely one of those kids in my middle
school and high school bus rides who convinced my bus driver to keep driving around
so we could hear the end of war the Roses, even if it meant
being late for class. If we couldn't hear how it ended, it was
always such a bummer. Anyway, onto my real reason for writing. I
was listening to Minnesota Monday's morning show the hours I missed when I'm not in
the car, and I heard Drake talking about wanting to explore northern Minnesota.
Well, if you're looking for a truly life changing experience, then I could
not recommend going dog sledding anymore. My boyfriend and I went up to Elee
this past winter, and went sledding with the Chili Dog's dog Sledding. When
I say it was one of the top three experiences of my life, I
am not kidding. Several of their dogs have competed in the Idita Rod,
which is a big dog sled race. So if you're looking for something to
use that thousand dollars give away on, I suggest getting out there and doing
dog sledding this winter. Ps. It usually doesn't actually cost one thousand dollars.
Sincerely, Staff writer Tracy from Golden Valley. Tracy, I'm gonna take
a picture of your name and address and send you a sticker. I wonder
if that requires any sort of training before doing it, because you're obviously on
a slug and you know, like, I think you have a guide.
I think, Okay, I don't know. We did it at boy Scout
camp in somewhere in Wisconsin, and I think there is a musher that rides
on the sled and that does all the work and you sit on the sled
and ride. Okay, that could be roch nice search for me. I'd
probably be like holding on and then the dogs are going in different directions.
Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, No, it sounds really cool. And something
that most people in Minnesota have probably never tried. Guys, catching up on
the Minnesota Goodbye. My December is consumed with Hallmark movies, so everything gets
put off till January. I just listen to one a few days ago when
you were talking about saying something embarrassing that you still think about to this day.
I immediately thought of the time that I was at Subway with my sister,
probably fourth grade. She's a couple of years older than me. I
ordered a boloney sandwich. But instead of pronouncing it how we all say baloney,
I pronounced it the way it's spelled, Bologna. I knew how to
say it. I don't know why I said it that way. My sister
immediately started laughing and made fun of me. I'm thirty eight years old and
she still gives me shit about it. That's all, have a great week
from Shay. Bologna. That's why it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't.
The English language is so wild sometimes Bologna and the first time I saw
that spelled. But if you're gonna say, like Jenny's full of blooney,
you would write b A l O n e Y, not b A L
ogna. I don't think I would. I would do the bologna b o
l og na, my baloney, he's got a first name. Okay,
let's see what we got here. This is definitely a long one, so
I want to give it a little skim here. Okay, talking about going
up north, and that's I'm gonna read this probably on the radio. Here
we go with Naughty Tuesday. Dave Jenny Drake, don't same a name.
I am hoping to contribute to Naughty Tuesday with a question rather than a story.
Here goes. What all is considered when determining one's body count? Are
we including all incidences of oral anal? And what about a good old fashioned
oh hand job? Okay, hand job? Obviously it cannot be limited to
penetrative vaginal sex, as that would not be inclusive to same sex, trans
couples, etc. I would love y'all's opinion on this as I determined whether
that stranger I jerked off on a REDDA flight from Chicago is included in my
body count? WHOA wait, wow, really wow wow copy Yeah. Perhaps
that's a story for another Naughty Tuesday. Thanks for reading. I will happily
receive a staff writer sticker, please and thank you. Hope you are all
starting the new year with plenty of dart licks. I know I have,
Oh I love you. So she's already eaten ass or had her ass eaten
this year, so that's awesome. I do not count hand jobs, blow
jobs, oral or anything like that for the body count, Okay, As
a heterosexual person having heterosexual sex, yeah I would. I would not count
it either, But I've never thought of it as a perspective of someone who
is not having heterosexual sex. So I don't know what you would consider with
two women having sex and two men. If like, there is penetration with
men, but then when women it's a little different. So I never thought
about it. So it is a little more oral centric with women. So
I don't know. Well, true, and I never thought about that.
But you're for a woman, you're definitely gonna if you have oral sex with
another woman, that counts as your body count, yeacause that's what you do.
But if I had sex with a oral sex with a woman, that's
not counted in my body count, right. But to be honest, and
there have been occasions where I've had oral sex but not penetrative sex, yep,
but it's rare because usually if you have oral you're gonna have regular sex
a lot of times. Yeah, but she's wondering if that HJ on the
flight counts. But I think I don't think so either. I would Yeah,
yeah, I don't know. I like you though. I'm curious though
about lesbians. What would you consider your body count? Then? I think
anybody that you've had maybe oral sex with. Yeah, okay, Wow,
that that opens up a whole new can look ass and let us know love
that story. That is going to be it for the Minnesota Goodbye. We
were out of time, so anyone's we didn't get to, we will do
our best to get to tomorrow. So thank you. Send those to Ryan's
show at kadiewb dot com