WEBVTT 1 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:38.840 Welcome to Destiny. Now here's your host, Cliff Dunning. Hey, how 2 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:45.359 are you welcome to Destiny. When we visit our doctor, we are hoping 3 00:00:45.399 --> 00:00:50.840 that we have a solution to our illness, be it emotional, mental, 4 00:00:51.880 --> 00:01:00.600 physical illness, and we rely on our doctors to treat us, to understand 5 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:04.680 what is going on with us, and to heal whatever our problems are. 6 00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:10.879 In today's world, especially in the Western in the United States, we are 7 00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:19.120 dealing with allopathy and this is a certain type of wellness practice that doesn't necessarily 8 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:23.120 address the emotions of an individual. And today we're going to talk with a 9 00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:30.239 cardiologist who has seen this and written a book called The Empowerment Solution. What's 10 00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:34.519 interesting, and I've talked about this a lot. What's interesting about allopathic medicine 11 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:46.439 as the dominant healing protocol for regaining wellness is the fact that it seems to 12 00:01:46.519 --> 00:01:52.599 really miss the mark when it comes to understanding how a person developed an illness, 13 00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:57.840 what their state of mind is during or before they were ill, and 14 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:05.400 you know, addressing these subtleties of living, what anxieties are you dealing with, 15 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:09.919 what fears? What angers? Are you resolving these issues? Unless you 16 00:02:09.960 --> 00:02:15.919 go to a psychologist or a therapist, and most people don't, and those 17 00:02:15.960 --> 00:02:21.400 who do recognize that they need to see somebody that can deal with their emotions 18 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:25.639 and mental state. Most of us just go to our family doctor and say, 19 00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:31.240 hey, I feel I've been feeling ill for a while, and you 20 00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:37.560 know, I need I need something for this. Most of the time it's 21 00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:42.120 going to be a quick solution in the form of a drug which just suppresses 22 00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:47.919 the issue. And we're anxious and we're stressed out. These are the beginnings 23 00:02:47.960 --> 00:02:53.919 of can be the beginnings of disease. Process. If you're constantly under stress, 24 00:02:54.039 --> 00:03:01.599 this can lead to digestive issues, sleep issues, heart and cardiac issues. 25 00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:06.919 I mean, it gets rex habits with the whole body. It produces 26 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:13.039 unwanted hormones, and when we're not well, you know, it just causes 27 00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:16.840 more issues. So when you go to your doctor and you don't get the 28 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:28.199 solutions that are helping are working to resolve the emotional issues behind illness, then 29 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:36.680 you're suppressing the real core issues and you're left with the physical manifestations of your 30 00:03:36.719 --> 00:03:42.360 depression, your anxiety, your fear, but you're not resolving them and you're 31 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:46.520 not looking at them to see you know, Okay, maybe I need to 32 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:53.240 take more time off, I need to consider another job. Perhaps this relationship 33 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:58.080 is not working for me. It's causing me more problems. And you know, 34 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:01.319 there's a million self help books out there, but I'll tell you it's 35 00:04:01.479 --> 00:04:05.919 rare that we have time to do anything, including reading. And that's why 36 00:04:06.039 --> 00:04:12.039 I suggest audible. But I've been talking about this for months, if not 37 00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:19.720 years, the fact that our so called healers or medical establishment is are not 38 00:04:19.879 --> 00:04:26.759 trained to deal with the subtleties of illness, trained to work with and request 39 00:04:27.079 --> 00:04:33.319 or do an evaluation to find out what's going on mentally when somebody comes in 40 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:39.959 who's ill. And you know, the drug industry is taken over and there's 41 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:46.759 drugs for everything from nervous legs, nervous feet, stomach problems, headaches, 42 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:50.240 aches and pains. But I think if we trace some of these aches and 43 00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:56.519 plains and try to establish the root cause, a lot of them are going 44 00:04:56.560 --> 00:05:02.759 to come up on an emotional scale. So our program today is dealing with 45 00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:10.160 this, and again it's a classically trained medical doctor. Program is the empowerment 46 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:50.959 solution. And my guest today is doctor Friedman shab Here in the United States, 47 00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:56.560 we most of us suffer from the stress of working, the ninety five 48 00:05:56.680 --> 00:06:01.399 existence the family. The obligations can really beared down on us and cause a 49 00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:08.560 great deal or a deal of anxiety. And my guest today has written a 50 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:13.879 book on the on dealing with these problems. It's called The Empowerment Solution. 51 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:20.079 Six Keys to an Unlocking your Full Potential with the Subconscious Mind. And I 52 00:06:20.120 --> 00:06:25.439 was looking at this book and one of the things that I have found is 53 00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:30.399 that when we have ways to resolve the stress and anxiety, we should go 54 00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:35.800 to that. And I push meditation. And we've had people on the program 55 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:41.360 who are talking about psychedelics, but that's kind of scary. If you want 56 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:46.160 to resolve a problem or an anxiety and you take a psychedelic, maybe that's 57 00:06:46.680 --> 00:06:53.680 temporary. Some people have a long term issues resolved. But this book, 58 00:06:54.120 --> 00:07:00.240 The Empowerment Solution, really looks at the problem from a process. My guess 59 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:05.959 is doctor Freeman Shob and he is coming to us from France. We're going 60 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:12.360 to hear about this program and the process. And Freedman, welcome to Destiny. 61 00:07:12.360 --> 00:07:15.040 Great they have you on the program. Well, it's my destiny apparently 62 00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:20.360 to be on the program. About that. Hey, in the beginning of 63 00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:27.360 the book, you give some really startling statistics, specific statistics regarding COVID, 64 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:34.839 and you report that over four point three million Americans left their jobs in two 65 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:41.920 thousand and twenty one. That's a huge number of people. And would you 66 00:07:41.959 --> 00:07:47.199 say that it was caused simply because of the stress of COVID or the opportunities 67 00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:53.160 that their companies gave them, or maybe both to work from home or quit. 68 00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:58.519 Well, I think you know, I'm mentioning especially the great resignation movement, 69 00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:03.439 which was, you know, driven by two things. One is that 70 00:08:03.720 --> 00:08:07.759 people said life is too short. I don't want to have a low paying 71 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:11.920 job that just eats my soul and so I'm out of here. And the 72 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:16.839 other one is that people that had well paying job, especially tech jobs, 73 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:20.000 said I want to go for passion. I want to go for something that 74 00:08:20.040 --> 00:08:24.319 I'm really interested in and not just sit in a cubicle and maybe make a 75 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:30.800 good paycheck but don't really feel fulfilled. So there are these two strands, 76 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:35.360 and you know, you could argue just the pressure of paying builds and all 77 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:41.159 those things reverse those trends already quite a bit. But the bottom line is 78 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:46.159 that COVID was not just a catastrophe or a problem mentally, emotionally, physically. 79 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:50.399 For many people, it was also kind of a pause button and they 80 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:54.960 were reconsidering their lives, sitting at home feeling like, Okay, what am 81 00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:00.200 I really missing? Is it just that I cannot go out or is a 82 00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:03.879 bigger picture a little bit off? And is there maybe something I need to 83 00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:11.120 really change now before it's too late. People were facing their mortality, facing 84 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:16.279 you know that they are not invincible, that time is not eternal, and 85 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:22.919 those big questions that we usually avoid asking ourselves, we're ask more often than 86 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:26.720 not. And that was an opportunity. I thought that was something that was 87 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:33.200 actually I was hoping would bring something positive out for people, like a reset. 88 00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:39.360 We'll see if that is a case or not. You're a cardiologist, 89 00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:46.279 and it's funny because although that's a physical organ when when you're under stress it 90 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:50.480 does go to our heart, it can't really affect our heart, it confect 91 00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:56.080 our brain and conffect our entire body. But would you say that that of 92 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:58.639 course, you wrote your first book, The Fear and Anxiety of Solution is 93 00:09:58.679 --> 00:10:03.240 a fantastic title, but would you say that the stress that people are under 94 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:07.399 You saw this in your patience, and you thought, well, I have 95 00:10:07.519 --> 00:10:11.519 to help them a little more. Is this kind of the basis of the 96 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:15.840 book. Well, the basis of the book is that I actually had a 97 00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:20.279 lot of anxiety and stress and that I wanted to figure out how can I 98 00:10:20.279 --> 00:10:24.279 help myself because I had it for almost thirty years, and certainly when I 99 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:28.080 was in cardiology, I did have a lot of stress and anxiety. And 100 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:33.759 I did see that there were so many patients that I knew had mental and 101 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:39.480 emotional stress, but we had nothing to give to them. You know, 102 00:10:39.559 --> 00:10:45.519 we help them deal with their arrhythmia or their chest pains and whatever high blood 103 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:48.600 pressure they were dealing with, but going to the route why are you stressed 104 00:10:48.600 --> 00:10:52.799 out? Why is your heart out of rhythm, why you're tensing up? 105 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:56.639 We did not have the ability to go there. And I think at that 106 00:10:56.720 --> 00:11:01.240 time I just was dealing so much with my ownings idea that I wasn't really 107 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:03.879 focusing so much on that. But looking back, it was clear to me 108 00:11:05.399 --> 00:11:09.919 I want to help people to heal the roots of their issues and not just 109 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:13.039 the symptoms. And that's why I like to work with the root of our 110 00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:18.960 anxiety, which is in my book more inside of us as subconscious and not 111 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.519 necessarily just an imbalance of the brain chemistry. So I do believe that we 112 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:30.960 can resolve anxiety when we look inside rather than just you know, suppress it 113 00:11:31.039 --> 00:11:35.159 or battered away. Yeah, and I have physicians in my family. There's 114 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:43.240 no training on working with your patients on resolving the emotions. You're just trauma 115 00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:46.960 excellent, with trauma excellent. You know, I'm talking about alapathy now, 116 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.759 I'm not talking about all of medicine. My grandfather was a surgeon, and 117 00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:54.919 you know, you don't ask the patient, you know, what led up 118 00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:56.120 to your crisis. Well, look, you know that's just not part of 119 00:11:56.120 --> 00:12:01.559 the package, is it. Unfortunately? You know, And I do remember 120 00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:07.440 one patient we had. He was, you know, mid sixties, and 121 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:11.559 he was like the most interesting guy you can imagine, traveling around the world, 122 00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:18.399 living in different places, always eager to take another risk. And his 123 00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:22.879 passion was sailing. He loved sailboats, and he had a heart condition. 124 00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:26.440 And my boss just told him, you know, sorry, scratch a sailboat, 125 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:31.639 scratch traveling, can't fly anymore. And the guy committed suicide. And 126 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:37.480 we did not see that coming. We did not see in his face that 127 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:43.240 he was completely now robbed of anything that made his life even remotely livable, 128 00:12:43.399 --> 00:12:48.159 and just a diagnosis, you know, in good intentions. Sorry, you 129 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:52.480 have to take care of your heart. We took out the consideration for the 130 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:56.919 soul for this person. And I think that's something that I mean, not 131 00:12:58.039 --> 00:13:01.759 to the extreme necessarily, but it happens a lot that we don't see the 132 00:13:01.879 --> 00:13:09.279 patient. We don't see who the holistic entire thing is. All we see 133 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:13.600 is just the organ or only the symptoms. And that's just, you know, 134 00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:18.720 unfortunately, also something where I think we are chasing something rather than really 135 00:13:18.759 --> 00:13:24.279 healing. Yeah, talk about stuck, being stuck in survivor mode. And 136 00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:26.879 you actually listen to the early part of your book. You talk about stressed 137 00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:35.720 in an anxiety, past traumas, being afraid of failure, insecurities and one 138 00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:39.879 that a lot of people deal with that isn't discussed and you actually talk about 139 00:13:39.879 --> 00:13:45.679 this with your father, lack of self worth or esteem and these are stuck 140 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:52.679 in the survival Well why are these so critical to understand? Well, but 141 00:13:52.879 --> 00:13:58.720 you just mentioned are all the things that make us act in survival patterns? 142 00:13:58.039 --> 00:14:03.120 So when you have no self esteem, You have a hard time to show 143 00:14:03.159 --> 00:14:07.200 yourself to the world. You rather play it small. That's one of the 144 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:15.039 patterns, the invisibility pattern, or when you're feeling that fundamentally you're not lovable 145 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:18.960 and you're only lovable when you are serving others, that gets you more into 146 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:22.519 the helper pattern. You know, just as a child, already you're the 147 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:26.320 good little girl, good little boy, and then mommy or daddy are pleased 148 00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:31.360 with you. And then there's a pattern of you don't know yourself at all, 149 00:14:31.879 --> 00:14:33.559 and all you feel is like I just want to fit in. I 150 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:37.120 just want to belong somewhere. And then you become the chameleon, you know, 151 00:14:37.240 --> 00:14:43.200 someone who goes easily, can swing around and just talk exactly what others 152 00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:48.519 want to hear. All those patterns are designed by the subconscious mind to give 153 00:14:48.600 --> 00:14:52.240 us security, but the problem is they don't give us fulfillment, and so 154 00:14:52.399 --> 00:14:58.720 we're stuck in those patterns and they make us more anxious because the more we 155 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:03.799 find out that matter how many people we avoid it or how many people were 156 00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:07.159 pleasing, we still feel small. We still have the same issues, We 157 00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:11.600 still feel not good enough. The beliefs haven't changed, and we become more 158 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:16.919 dependent on the outside world because we're not really looking inside. And that's that 159 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:24.120 survival cycle I'm talking about where even though the intention is good, in the 160 00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:28.440 end we end up feeling more scared, more hopeless, more powerless because we're 161 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:33.320 not living up to our full potential. One of the areas that you talk 162 00:15:33.399 --> 00:15:39.080 about that I, as a conference producer and someone who works on the personal 163 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:46.799 growth arena, find that people have subtle traumas, either through childhood, their 164 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:52.200 parents, or an event with somebody, and even in adulthood, we can 165 00:15:52.279 --> 00:15:58.320 suffer a trauma. And I'm talking about emotional traumas now, not physical traumas, 166 00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:00.080 but that can be a part of the two. It most of us 167 00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:04.679 on the scale of emotional traumas. How do we know that we've been traumatized? 168 00:16:06.279 --> 00:16:11.039 What are the signs that we need to get help or self heal a 169 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:17.679 trauma? I like that question because I think trauma is such a buzzword these 170 00:16:17.759 --> 00:16:19.879 days. I mean, like everyone talks about trauma, and I think there 171 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:26.159 is a risk because trauma can be also something we hide behind. You know, 172 00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:32.600 we have been traumatized so well naturally we cannot necessarily function normally or naturally 173 00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:37.279 we have this and that, and that's a pattern of almost living in the 174 00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:44.360 victimization of the trauma. Now, when you think about the deeper subconscious effect 175 00:16:44.679 --> 00:16:48.759 that this trauma has, it's not that the subconscious cannot deal with trauma. 176 00:16:48.919 --> 00:16:56.360 The subconscious as just not figure out how to see it. Trauma is confusion. 177 00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:00.240 The chord is really that we don't know, we cannot make sense out 178 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:04.759 of it. And so if we are going back and this is a process 179 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:10.799 in the book and really trying to see the trauma more from the perspective of 180 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:15.640 the now person and get the answers to the subconscious that are still running inside 181 00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:19.799 of us. Why and why this person? And was it my fault? 182 00:17:19.880 --> 00:17:23.240 Could I have prevented it? Should have done it differently? All those things 183 00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:29.079 that come up over and over again. The subconscious ask us questions because the 184 00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:32.799 subconscious doesn't want to get stuck in it. He wants to grow from it. 185 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:37.000 It wants to learn from it. So trauma is an opportunity. Trauma 186 00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:42.160 is not defining us, but we have to ask and answer those questions that 187 00:17:42.279 --> 00:17:47.359 help us to make sense out of it and not just you know, feel 188 00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:52.440 again in this entrapment of confusion. Yeah, and I hear what you're saying 189 00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:56.400 about that. In a minute, we're going to talk about some of the 190 00:17:56.440 --> 00:18:03.039 processes that you used to extract data to analyze your issues. By the way, 191 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:08.480 those of you listening, Freeman has also recorded this book on Audible, 192 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:12.599 and I should also mention the book comes out I think this week, So 193 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:18.720 this is all really good timing. So as you guys know who are listening, 194 00:18:18.839 --> 00:18:23.079 I am not able always to read books, and Audible is a wonderful 195 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:29.720 way to take in the content of a book. Let's talk about one that 196 00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:33.920 I find was a challenge for me and may still be a challenge, which 197 00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:41.000 is being afraid of failures. And this is something that children deal with and 198 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:48.160 leads into adulthood. Talk a little bit about being afraid of failing and how 199 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:55.400 problematic that is and how detrimental it can be for our emotional health. That's 200 00:18:55.440 --> 00:19:00.559 definitely very close to my story because when I was little, was told that 201 00:19:00.599 --> 00:19:03.599 I'm a late bloomer. Well, I was a late bloomer because I didn't 202 00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:06.119 even know what that meant, late bloomer, what does that mean like? 203 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:12.240 But I heard then my parents talking behind my back that they thought, well, 204 00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:15.839 he may actually never make it to college, and that I was like, 205 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:18.079 oh, yeah, yeah, what does that mean? Because my parents 206 00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:22.200 were doctors, my sister was smart, so I couldn't just be the not 207 00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:26.279 so smart one. And then I really was afraid of failure. And that's 208 00:19:26.279 --> 00:19:30.759 how my anxiety really started, this feeling of okay, am I really not 209 00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:36.079 smart enough? And you know, then you push yourself and then you prove 210 00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:38.559 yourself and then it's not enough. You have to prove yourself more. You 211 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:42.559 have to make the bars higher. And while at the end I figured out, 212 00:19:42.599 --> 00:19:47.000 no matter how high I jumped, I still feel like I'm falling back 213 00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:51.559 in the same fear of failure. That doesn't really change anything. So the 214 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:56.960 fear of failure is such a driving force because it's connected to our self worth. 215 00:19:56.359 --> 00:20:03.440 We feel success equal self worse, and no matter how much success you 216 00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:07.119 have, no matter how much approval you have, your self worse doesn't changed 217 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:14.240 because it's all dependent on external validation. I needed to figure out when I 218 00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:18.480 was, you know, a in curdiology, I was, you know, 219 00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:23.440 having published papers in very prestigious medical journals didn't mean anything to me. I 220 00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:29.359 was still lost, and one day I found myself in the church, thinking 221 00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:32.880 like maybe I'm going to find some meaning and answers, some connection, Maybe 222 00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:37.079 there's a booming voice saying you are good enough. Nothing happened, but I 223 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:42.759 definitely realized, Okay, something needs to happen because I am not feeling good 224 00:20:42.759 --> 00:20:48.480 about myself no matter how much I succeed. And this is the trap. 225 00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:55.279 So many young people right now are stuck in. They are trained in, 226 00:20:55.519 --> 00:20:59.680 you know, with parents and teachers alike, to not fail. You have 227 00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:03.559 to succeed. You have to be ready to go to an IVY college if 228 00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:07.440 possible. You have to be best in sports, you have to be marstady. 229 00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:14.400 And there's so much pushing and competing and comparing happening that failure is not 230 00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:18.400 an option whatsoever. And so kids are already, at twelve or even younger, 231 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:25.039 always in their mind afraid of failing, afraid of not measuring up. 232 00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:30.680 And there is no wonder that a so many kids feel like they need now 233 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:34.400 medication to even make it to the day and be So many kids are writing 234 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:41.079 me and saying they're afraid of aging because not because they're afraid of getting old 235 00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:45.839 or sick, they're afraid of time running by. And then at the end 236 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:52.640 feeling was that all for like, I did everything I was supposed to do 237 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:56.640 and nothing really made me happy. That's the fear that so many are struggling 238 00:21:56.640 --> 00:22:00.359 with. Yeah, I hear you what you're saying. I'm listening to my 239 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:08.960 son talking in my head as you're mentioning that. What give us some examples 240 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:18.359 of self therapizing self therapy when you're afraid of failure. Let's talk about somebody 241 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:22.880 who is a college student whose tests are coming up and perhaps he hasn't done 242 00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:29.880 well or she hasn't not done well on their tests, and there's a potential 243 00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:36.519 for them failing a class. How does how do you suggest they go about 244 00:22:37.079 --> 00:22:45.440 perhaps wiping the fear way so they can be the fullest of themselves in testing 245 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:52.440 or finishing the class. I mean, there are many things we can talk 246 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:59.880 about, but two let's stand out is one to take self responsibility for why 247 00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:04.279 that class maybe failed. And often it's procrastination. The fear of failure often 248 00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:11.240 leads to procrastination. I know it's so many that are just feeling the discomfort 249 00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:12.640 of Oh, I have to write a paper, or I have to study 250 00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:18.119 something that I feel already behind in, or I don't really understand, so 251 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:22.599 why not watching YouTube or why not just you know, cleaning the apartment rather 252 00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:27.160 than really applying yourself. So that's very important to realize. A lot is 253 00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:30.839 not a sign of you're not smart enough or good enough. You may have 254 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:37.759 been scared and that's why you have been procrastinating. The second thing is to 255 00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:42.440 not define yourself by whether you're going to you know, succeed in this class 256 00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:48.279 or not. That is so important. This class, the outcome of the 257 00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:52.200 class doesn't define you. It doesn't define your future, It doesn't define yourself 258 00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:59.319 worth. It is simply one of those goals you can either reach or you 259 00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:03.200 can reach enough. Time failure is just feedback. Failure is the reset. 260 00:24:03.279 --> 00:24:07.799 Failure is an opportunity to say, Okay, this time, I learned from 261 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:11.839 this, and they're going to do it better. We don't always have to 262 00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:18.440 succeed to feel safe or feel good. We have to allow ourselves to fail 263 00:24:18.960 --> 00:24:23.039 to also make adjustments, because so many people are just you know, feeling 264 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:27.599 like I barely made it great, but they haven't learned anything. As soon 265 00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:30.599 as they have, you know, put in all nighters and as soon as 266 00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:33.240 I mean, I was like this too, and as soon as you know 267 00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:38.319 the classes were somehow complete, there was a big exhale. Let's just forget 268 00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:45.359 about all this traumatic experience and move on and do the same thing over again. 269 00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:49.440 And so you have actually failed, you have a chance to do it 270 00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:55.559 better because you take it more serious. And I invited failure into my life 271 00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:00.559 once I realize it really helped me to get better and to tap into inner 272 00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:04.799 resources I didn't know I had. The rest was just winging it, just 273 00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:10.759 getting through. It wasn't really my best self. Freeman, You you're an 274 00:25:10.759 --> 00:25:15.680 exceptual individual to be able to realize failure, accept it, live through it, 275 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:22.000 and then recover. I don't think my father, who was a professor, 276 00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:27.240 never talked about understanding and living through and having failures in your life. 277 00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:30.759 It was either you know you, if you fail, that's a that's a 278 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:37.799 negative. I think what you're seeing is a whole different way of looking at 279 00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:41.960 life, which is you learn from your failures and then you're you're better by 280 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:48.079 them. Well, what's the disconnect between and I'm sixty so that's a different 281 00:25:48.119 --> 00:25:53.160 generation. But I don't think we understand quite how important it is to fail 282 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:59.720 and then recover from it and learn from that to become a better human being. 283 00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:03.359 A little bit about that. Well, it's it's basically what do we 284 00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:08.759 consider life to be. You know, I have watched my parents, especially 285 00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:14.519 my dad, who was very driven, never wanted to fail. You know. 286 00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:17.880 He was a countryside doctor, and as soon as one of his patients 287 00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:22.319 left for another doctor, it was great drama in his mind. He failed, 288 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:26.440 and it was excruciating painful to watch. And at the end, I 289 00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:32.680 think all this worrying and all this stress and all this fear drained a lot 290 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:36.160 of his energy. And I believe he died too young, and I think 291 00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:41.200 he died in a way that looking back, he probably realized he did not 292 00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:45.279 really live the best life he deserved because he was a very very good man, 293 00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:51.599 but he deserved to have more peace and more happiness. If he would 294 00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:55.880 have, and I learned from his mistakes, if he would have chosen to 295 00:26:55.920 --> 00:27:00.119 see life more as a as a journey that is ultimately to be experienced. 296 00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:06.880 It is not any kind of benchmarks that need to be reached or any kind 297 00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:10.839 of successes that need to be had. Now, life is a journey that's 298 00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:15.279 very unique, very personal, and a wrong. This journey the goal is 299 00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:18.240 for us to become our best self and whatever it takes to be the best 300 00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:25.480 selves. Failure, disappointment, rejection, all the stuff that we are avoiding. 301 00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:30.279 They actually let you find yourself. You don't find yourself in your comfort 302 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:36.039 zone. You don't find yourself when you're always succeeding. You don't find yourself 303 00:27:36.039 --> 00:27:40.240 and everything is just done for you. You don't find yourself. That's basically 304 00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:44.839 just you know, living in a way that you wrapped in cotton with ever 305 00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:48.880 without ever having to dig in deep. You know. There is this French 306 00:27:48.920 --> 00:27:53.680 philosopher I forgot his name, but I watched the webinar with him and he 307 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:57.000 was really fascinating. He said, the problem in our society is that we 308 00:27:57.119 --> 00:28:03.039 don't have a right of passage anymore. We don't have to really do anything 309 00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:07.599 to dig in and prove ourselves. We are all kind of just so attached 310 00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:12.559 to functioning, fitting in, being liked and being comfortable. And I think 311 00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:18.519 that creates part of the anxiety that we are dealing with. I believe anxiety 312 00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:22.119 is a sign that we don't know ourselves, and we don't connect to ourselves, 313 00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:26.880 we don't believe in ourselves. It's not that just the world is scarier 314 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:30.720 than ever before. It's that we are more away from ourselves than ever before. 315 00:28:32.119 --> 00:28:37.359 In failure can help you to face yourself in ways that aren't comfortable, 316 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:41.279 but you can learn a lot. You can learn also to forgive yourself, 317 00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:47.519 to have compassion with yourself, and then to build another set of belief system 318 00:28:47.559 --> 00:28:52.440 with yourself. Yeah. I love that we need more teachers like you Friedman 319 00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:56.960 who are talking about the importance of failure. I think we need a different 320 00:28:56.559 --> 00:29:03.640 term for it, different a language, because it's such a negative when when 321 00:29:03.720 --> 00:29:07.240 you tell somebody, well, you failed here, but this is a chance 322 00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:14.000 for learning. I mean, it's such a negative connotation around it. It's 323 00:29:14.039 --> 00:29:19.640 like you're a bad person, you are not a success, you are not 324 00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:26.559 going anywhere because you failed. And I remember there's a quote from Tesla the 325 00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:33.680 Great inventor, who mentions the number of failures that led up to a great 326 00:29:33.960 --> 00:29:40.240 success. And we see this with inventors because they fail miserably, but they'll 327 00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:45.920 have an Aha moment, which is the big selling point or the success point 328 00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:53.039 that arives from the failure. So I think in our Western culture, I 329 00:29:53.079 --> 00:29:57.680 think this is something that we need to learn more. And well, I 330 00:29:57.720 --> 00:30:03.240 think the fear of failure also prevents us sometimes from making course corrections, So 331 00:30:03.319 --> 00:30:08.720 you may want to call failure feedback in my father's eyes. I remember we 332 00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:15.599 celebrated my mom's seventies birthday and my dad didn't talk with me for three days 333 00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:19.640 because I had decided that I'm going to quit. You know, I was 334 00:30:19.720 --> 00:30:23.480 first in charadology, then I got into malcrobiology, I got a PhD. 335 00:30:23.519 --> 00:30:27.640 There another one of those bars I thought I had to jump over. And 336 00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:32.000 then after seven years there decided, you know, I think I have to 337 00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:33.880 help people with anxiety. I think that's really the right track for me to 338 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:38.279 do. And he just could not believe. I mean he was. I 339 00:30:38.279 --> 00:30:42.400 mean, in his eyes, that was the biggest failure, leaving academia, 340 00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:48.400 leaving the life in the university, leaving the past, becoming a professor doing 341 00:30:48.519 --> 00:30:52.440 this kind of stuff. He couldn't. I mean, that is something. 342 00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:56.200 If I would have been afraid of being a failure in his eyes, you 343 00:30:56.240 --> 00:31:00.119 and I wouldn't be talking. So that's why I fail is also a friend. 344 00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:06.480 It's a feedback. It tells you sometimes it's not really your right track, 345 00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:08.799 it's not really your passion, it's not what you're supposed to do. 346 00:31:10.279 --> 00:31:15.599 Failure can be the messenger that can also tell you are you really sure you 347 00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:18.680 want this? This is really your passion or you're just trying to please somebody 348 00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:22.240 else. That is so huge what you just said there. I mean, 349 00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:29.640 my father was such a huge influence on me, you know, and I 350 00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:33.519 went to school and for a specific subject, but I never followed up on 351 00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:37.960 that topic. It's so funny. I think many of us go to school 352 00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:45.039 for our parents, definitely, which is kind of a challenge. I want 353 00:31:45.039 --> 00:31:49.559 you to address a big one for many adults, which is a lack of 354 00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:56.400 self worth or self esteem. We're gonna take a short commercial break to allow 355 00:31:56.480 --> 00:32:01.680 our sponsors to identify themselves, and we'll return with our guest today, doctor 356 00:32:02.039 --> 00:32:43.519 Friedman's Shop, speaking on the Empowerment Solution. We'll be right back. My 357 00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:49.160 guest today is cardiologist Freedman's Shop, who has written a book called Empowerment Solutions, 358 00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:55.599 and this helps us look at our emotions and the causation of physical illness. 359 00:33:00.319 --> 00:33:04.079 We can be going through our life and feel great about our job, 360 00:33:04.119 --> 00:33:08.400 but when we have low self esteem and self worth, it really flowers and 361 00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:13.960 colors a lot of our existence. Can you talk a little bit about the 362 00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:19.400 problems associated with low self esteem. You know, it's an interesting thing with 363 00:33:19.519 --> 00:33:24.079 so self esteem because we all know those people that are really deeply insecure and 364 00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:29.240 the ones that are just you know, hiding out, and you know, 365 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:32.960 you could say, well, they have some distorted view and themselves, well 366 00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:37.960 I'm ugly, I'm not interesting, I'm this and that, And that's often 367 00:33:38.119 --> 00:33:45.319 rooted deep in the subconscious based on the idea that hey, you got rejected, 368 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:49.839 you got mocked, you got you know, ignored, you wanted, 369 00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:52.039 you know, be friends with someone, and they just said no to you. 370 00:33:52.359 --> 00:33:57.880 Whatever those things are that makes the subconscious say, let's hide out here 371 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:04.279 insecurity is your invisibility cloak. It says, as long as a voice inside 372 00:34:04.279 --> 00:34:07.119 of you says, don't even try, they won't like you. Do you 373 00:34:07.160 --> 00:34:10.280 see how the last time you made a fool out of yourself. That kind 374 00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:15.199 of inner critic that we are often condemning. Ultimately, it's our inner protector 375 00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:21.840 because it assumes that we cannot be out in the world without getting hit or 376 00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:27.119 hurt or you know again criticized and judged. And so then it just says, 377 00:34:27.320 --> 00:34:30.880 I'm going to do this already. So that you don't dare to leave 378 00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:35.559 the house, don't dare to speak up, because if I do it, 379 00:34:35.559 --> 00:34:38.880 it's a known pain. If someone else does it, it's so much more 380 00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:47.400 painful. And so that kind of insecurity is a very obvious way of hiding 381 00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:52.280 out to be safe. But there is another insecurity that I think it's so 382 00:34:52.360 --> 00:34:58.199 much more common and so much more a blind spot for people that would call 383 00:34:58.280 --> 00:35:02.920 themself confident. I'm great at my job, I have look at this car, 384 00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:07.320 look at this wife or husband or whatever. They just feel amazing, 385 00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:15.280 but they are not ever willing to show any vulnerability. They're so afraid of 386 00:35:15.320 --> 00:35:22.039 showing weakness, emotions, talking about their traumas, their pains, because that's 387 00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:29.239 what they're really feeling insecure about. And those people suffer. Those people play 388 00:35:29.400 --> 00:35:34.440 this role for you many years. No one knows them, and no one 389 00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:38.679 is ever getting close to them, and they're sitting all alone in that insecurity 390 00:35:39.079 --> 00:35:44.559 where they're the only ones who knows that they are a fraud, or that 391 00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:49.960 they're actually a weakling, or that they're just broken, and they're hiding and 392 00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:54.840 hiding behind this facade of success. That is a much more common insecurity that 393 00:35:55.039 --> 00:36:00.360 often people don't see, and that's something that also leads to an ide and 394 00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:05.280 depression. Yeah, that's another one of those potential failures. When you become 395 00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:08.559 vulnerable to your spouse, to your friends, to your family. It's like 396 00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:15.360 you're exposing your weaknesses, and that's the that's a challenge to douce of you 397 00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:21.639 like that. Hey, I want to talk about the core of your book, 398 00:36:21.679 --> 00:36:27.159 which is the subconscious working with the subconscious. You write that the subconscious 399 00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:31.440 mind is responsible for our emotions. Talk a little bit about that. How 400 00:36:31.440 --> 00:36:36.599 does that work? I mean, you know, there's just one perspective, 401 00:36:36.719 --> 00:36:38.639 you know. I mean if I would talk to a neuroscientist, they would 402 00:36:38.679 --> 00:36:43.760 say, you know, this is like the mid brain responsible India micd love 403 00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:47.079 for the anxiety. I just don't think it's very empowering to see it this 404 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:52.280 way. So I'm much more like a follower of young and others. You 405 00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:57.480 know that, just say, emotions are created by a part of a mind 406 00:36:57.719 --> 00:37:00.079 that is not rational, that is not a lot and we all know this. 407 00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:02.840 You know, you can have a perfectly fine day in all sudden you 408 00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:07.039 feel down, or all of a sudden you feel upset. You don't know 409 00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:10.679 why, there's nothing really that has changed outside of you. It's just that 410 00:37:10.760 --> 00:37:15.400 your emotions are coming up. Or you're going on a date and you know 411 00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:19.960 you should be chipper and confident, but you feel totally nervous and insecure. 412 00:37:20.079 --> 00:37:23.119 Well, damn emotion, Why is it there? And that's a subconscious, 413 00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:30.480 that's a deeper part that creates emotions for different reasons, and one reason is 414 00:37:30.519 --> 00:37:37.159 to communicate with us through emotions. Ultimately, emotions are a way for the 415 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:42.559 subconscious to send messages, you know, messages about injustice when we are angry, 416 00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:47.400 messages about safety and danger when we are afraid, messages about you know, 417 00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:51.880 loss and pain when we're said. I mean, these are all messages, 418 00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:54.360 and these messages need to be deciphered. But if you want to deal 419 00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:59.480 with your emotions, you have to deal with the subconscious. We are so 420 00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:07.000 fixated on calling my anxiety, my depression, my guilt. It's not the 421 00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:09.719 emotion that you know, we can condemn. It's like saying, you know, 422 00:38:10.320 --> 00:38:15.000 pain is something in itself. Pain is created by a part of the 423 00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:17.679 body that may be inflamed or a bone that is broken. So we have 424 00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:22.599 to see emotions also just as something that comes from the subconscious that wants our 425 00:38:22.639 --> 00:38:28.519 attention. We does have to learn to decipher what this attention is about. 426 00:38:28.679 --> 00:38:34.079 What does the subconscious try to tell us? Can give us an example of 427 00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:42.480 working with the subconscious to heal. Let's just say a trauma. We've identified 428 00:38:42.519 --> 00:38:46.960 a trauma, perhaps something happened as our childhood, in our childhood where we 429 00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:54.800 were shamed. Let go with that one. How do we resolve that and 430 00:38:54.880 --> 00:39:00.119 clear it? Well, that's something I wrote in my first book about the 431 00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:06.239 Empowerment the fear anxiety solution, where there is a it's called the pattern resolution 432 00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:13.039 process. It's a process basically that allows you to rewind time and go back 433 00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:17.679 to that trauma, not that you are re traumatizing yourself by going back, 434 00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:22.639 but with the intention to see it more from a different perspective. Now, 435 00:39:22.639 --> 00:39:28.360 to know how the subconscious works, we also need to know that the subconscious 436 00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:31.199 takes everything as if it's happening right now. So if I ask you to 437 00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:36.519 imagine, you know, sitting on the beach somewhere and drinking on my tie, 438 00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:39.440 you could actually go there, you could feel it. You could just 439 00:39:39.559 --> 00:39:45.679 you know, associate yourself in this situation even though you're here. And if 440 00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:50.920 you would, you go back into your past and feel everything that happened in 441 00:39:50.920 --> 00:39:54.519 the past. The subconscious still sees as if it's happening right now, So 442 00:39:54.599 --> 00:40:00.159 that means time is all relative and the past is not schizzled in sta own. 443 00:40:00.280 --> 00:40:05.719 So we can change the past by gaining a new perspective, by gaining 444 00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:09.800 a new way of looking at the past and feeling it, and therefore the 445 00:40:09.880 --> 00:40:15.079 subconsciousness and see as anymore as the victim of the trauma, but more as 446 00:40:15.159 --> 00:40:20.239 someone who has learned from it or became actually, you know, stronger because 447 00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:23.199 of it. A lot of people I work with that have been abused, 448 00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:29.239 which is kind of the big trauma, you could see, they don't realize 449 00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:36.239 that because they were abused, they have seen themselves more as trapped in the 450 00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:40.719 abuse, and they haven't recognized that they never became the abusers. They never 451 00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:47.559 closed down and became angry at others. They continue to be kind and compassionate 452 00:40:47.639 --> 00:40:53.079 and giving, and they were the opposite of what the abuser was all about. 453 00:40:53.480 --> 00:41:01.000 So their goodness, their inner self has survived, the truth has been 454 00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:07.079 not tarnished by what happened to them, and just realizing and being able to, 455 00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:13.079 you know, subconsciously communicate with that younger version of themselves and sharing the 456 00:41:13.159 --> 00:41:16.320 message. I know this sucks what happens, but you can be so proud 457 00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:22.079 of yourself because whatever is really true to you, who you really are, 458 00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:28.000 has not changed. You are already better and stronger and more courageous than the 459 00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:34.320 person that abused you. Because you refuse to change and become an abuser. 460 00:41:34.679 --> 00:41:38.960 An abuser takes your power because they feel powerless. If you have been abused 461 00:41:39.079 --> 00:41:44.639 and you were not tempted to do the same you want, you are not 462 00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:49.360 on the same lower level of the abuser. You took that high road, 463 00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:54.719 and that recognition itself makes you realize, Wow, you know I'm not the 464 00:41:54.760 --> 00:41:59.559 small one here. I'm actually the more courageous one. I'm the stronger one. 465 00:42:00.199 --> 00:42:05.239 And if you add to this, then also that every abuse teaches you 466 00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:09.760 about the power of forgiveness and the power of power of compassion. You actually 467 00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:15.280 really complete the abuse as one stage of your life that you learn from and 468 00:42:15.559 --> 00:42:22.480 can move on from. I like that your book is self therapy. And 469 00:42:22.199 --> 00:42:27.199 do you have a technique where someone could look at your book and go, 470 00:42:27.559 --> 00:42:30.679 I have a hint that something's wrong, but I don't know what it is 471 00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:37.719 something happened to me. I experienced this situation and it left me incomplete. 472 00:42:39.320 --> 00:42:45.360 How do I go about discovering what happened? How do I go about revealing 473 00:42:45.400 --> 00:42:50.360 it so I can heal myself? That's a really I mean, there are 474 00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:55.239 two techniques in the book. One is, which I think is really something 475 00:42:55.400 --> 00:43:00.079 that has helped me a lot, the understanding that at some point in our 476 00:43:00.159 --> 00:43:07.599 life we are losing our innocence. And what that basically means is that what 477 00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:13.440 we came here to be and to do, which we really carry with us, 478 00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:17.039 maybe even before birth, at some point we are locking it away. 479 00:43:17.119 --> 00:43:22.920 Now, for me personally, this was I was a very you know child 480 00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:27.599 that really believed in magic, saw energy, was you know, seeing the 481 00:43:27.639 --> 00:43:30.719 walls moving. I mean, it was just like crazy stuff. And I 482 00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:36.079 was completely trusting, happy, go lucky, everything is great and life is 483 00:43:36.159 --> 00:43:39.480 unfolding in a perfect way. And I lost it all when I was told 484 00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:44.960 I'm stupid, and when I was yelled at when I had my first dean 485 00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:49.159 school and you know, really chastised, and so I put this all away. 486 00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:52.800 But the loss of the innocent doesn't mean yet you put in the garbage. 487 00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:57.239 Can the loss of the innocence means it's somewhere hidden inside of you. 488 00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:01.880 And in this process you reclaim this part of you that you have lost. 489 00:44:01.960 --> 00:44:07.639 You remember what it means to be you before the trauma, before you lost 490 00:44:07.719 --> 00:44:14.519 your innocence, and you remember the magic of being you. And when people 491 00:44:14.599 --> 00:44:19.159 did this, you know, they in my work with clients, they remember 492 00:44:19.239 --> 00:44:23.559 that they are really way more courageous and adventurous, that they were always able 493 00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:29.000 to daydream and love that and not just you know, rational, you know, 494 00:44:29.119 --> 00:44:34.559 straightforward thinkers. They remember that they actually had faith and not just you 495 00:44:34.599 --> 00:44:37.559 know, thinking about you know, nothing can be trusted. All these things 496 00:44:37.559 --> 00:44:44.159 that they remember they can bring back and they enriched their life. And often 497 00:44:44.199 --> 00:44:47.199 people say, that's what's been missing in my life. I didn't realize that 498 00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:52.199 I had a whole inside of me that I always tried to fill with relationships 499 00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:57.159 or stuff or success. Now I know what was missing. I wasn't whole 500 00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:01.719 myself. And that's really a power pful way too to bring yourself back. 501 00:45:02.039 --> 00:45:07.760 You're encouraging me to dive a little bit deeper into your book, Freeman, 502 00:45:08.960 --> 00:45:16.559 listen to it, because that's a wonderful message that you gave, is that 503 00:45:16.599 --> 00:45:28.880 we can reveal our authentic original self through releasing the onion skin of traumas and 504 00:45:28.920 --> 00:45:35.239 these other problems that we that we face as young people because we're so vulnerable, 505 00:45:35.280 --> 00:45:38.760 we're so open as young people, these these uh problems that we face 506 00:45:39.960 --> 00:45:45.719 can really be a problem for us. It can lead to neurosis and all 507 00:45:45.800 --> 00:45:49.280 kinds of other issues. Um, I'd like you to talk a little bit, 508 00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:54.960 just address a little bit why forgiving yourself is so critical as a form 509 00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.519 of therapy. And you featured this in your book. When you so forgive, 510 00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:05.400 it's so powerful, and in fact it's so powerful we don't know that 511 00:46:05.440 --> 00:46:09.800 when we forgive ourselves for an event or something that happened, it's actually, 512 00:46:10.039 --> 00:46:15.000 as I use an analogy, releases and pulls apart one of these coverings or 513 00:46:15.239 --> 00:46:21.760 onion skin that is covering us from being authentic. Talk a little bit about 514 00:46:21.800 --> 00:46:25.719 forgiveness. Well, I mean, forgiving others is already difficult, right, 515 00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:30.840 I mean we have all these misconceptions about forgiving means forgetting letting people up the 516 00:46:30.920 --> 00:46:34.880 hook. You know, who are they that they have the right for me 517 00:46:34.960 --> 00:46:38.840 to forgive them? And that's just you know, wrong, because forgiveness it's 518 00:46:38.920 --> 00:46:45.079 just about you. It's all about us doing ourselves a favor by letting go 519 00:46:45.320 --> 00:46:50.760 of the people, the situations, the events, and not any longer be 520 00:46:50.880 --> 00:46:53.599 tied to them. But to get there, we also have to be willing. 521 00:46:53.639 --> 00:46:57.599 It's a big L word. We have to be willing to learn from 522 00:46:57.599 --> 00:47:00.360 it. We cannot just say, oh, I'm gonna forgive. They're going 523 00:47:00.360 --> 00:47:02.519 to do the same thing over and over again. So we have to learn 524 00:47:02.599 --> 00:47:07.239 and grow from whatever happened. And I do believe we are all teachers for 525 00:47:07.320 --> 00:47:13.760 each other. The worst people in my life have been the greatest teachers, 526 00:47:14.079 --> 00:47:16.639 and I'm sure I have been the greatest teacher when I heard others because there 527 00:47:16.719 --> 00:47:22.079 is something to learn from mistakes of others. There is something to learn when 528 00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:25.480 people mistreat us, and there's something to learn also when we do the same. 529 00:47:25.800 --> 00:47:32.159 So forgiving ourselves basically works only when we are willing to have compassion with 530 00:47:32.199 --> 00:47:37.599 ourselves, realizing yes, we are not perfect, but we have always the 531 00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:43.119 intention to get better, and yes there is always something that when we did 532 00:47:43.159 --> 00:47:45.440 this, we thought that was the best we could do, but now looking 533 00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:49.719 back, we realized, no, next time, I'm going to be better. 534 00:47:49.760 --> 00:47:53.559 But I don't want to hold myself back from being better by still having 535 00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:59.679 guilt or shame or blame that ties me like super glued to the past. 536 00:48:00.079 --> 00:48:04.599 I need to forgive myself so that I have space to be a bigger version 537 00:48:04.639 --> 00:48:08.320 of myself. Not forgiving is like living in a strange jacket, and you're 538 00:48:08.400 --> 00:48:13.320 not really able to grow very much in a strange jacket. So it is 539 00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:16.920 about yourself, but it's also about doing better for others and two others. 540 00:48:16.960 --> 00:48:22.239 Once you forgive yourself, it's a selfless act as well. Yeah, I 541 00:48:22.280 --> 00:48:25.159 like that the books call the empower of it solution. My guest has been 542 00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:30.360 doctor Freeman shop who's this book for? Who did you write this book for? 543 00:48:30.440 --> 00:48:34.239 I mean, you wrote it for yourself, most of us authors do. 544 00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.199 But if you were to reach out to the listeners and say, you 545 00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:44.440 know, this is for this person or this person, who is it for? 546 00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:47.519 It's a terrible thing. I'm gonna say, but I think it's for 547 00:48:47.599 --> 00:48:52.920 everyone, because I really feel we all have one big problem. We're living 548 00:48:53.639 --> 00:48:59.719 under the assumption that we are some are not good enough. We have an 549 00:48:59.719 --> 00:49:07.400 owner's manual that early in our life was written that keeps us trapped in the 550 00:49:07.519 --> 00:49:12.960 smaller version of ourselves where most of us have never taken the time to even 551 00:49:13.039 --> 00:49:16.840 consider that there is an innocent self inside of us. Most of ourselves have 552 00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:23.119 never traveled back to their essence, the consciousness of what they came into this 553 00:49:23.320 --> 00:49:28.039 lifetime, which you know goes beyond the innocence. This is kind of where 554 00:49:28.119 --> 00:49:32.000 everything is, you know, bound together. Most of us have never learned 555 00:49:32.039 --> 00:49:37.599 the steps to love themselves. Does anyone in school explains us, Well, 556 00:49:37.599 --> 00:49:42.960 this is how you love to yourself and these are the step So this is 557 00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:46.039 all explained in the book. This book is something I wrote for myself because 558 00:49:46.079 --> 00:49:52.960 it's basically, you know, twenty years of me growing through my clients and 559 00:49:52.079 --> 00:49:55.760 through my work, and then my biggest teachers are the people I'm working with. 560 00:49:57.880 --> 00:50:01.639 But my intention is for everyone to really find the nugget in themselves that 561 00:50:01.719 --> 00:50:07.760 they haven't discovered. It's a self discovery journey. It's not self therapy only, 562 00:50:07.800 --> 00:50:12.760 it's really self discovery and I believe it leads you back home. And 563 00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:15.719 when you're at home with yourself, you don't have anxiety anymore, you don't 564 00:50:15.719 --> 00:50:20.719 have insecurity anymore, and you actually make a bigger difference in this world. 565 00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:24.519 So it's for everyone. Yeah, I like that, Freeman. This book 566 00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:29.840 is just came out. Those of you listening. You can get a copy 567 00:50:29.840 --> 00:50:34.239 of it on Amazon, of course, or other bookstores. How can people 568 00:50:34.239 --> 00:50:37.679 get a hold of you? What's your web address? It's doctor Freedman dot 569 00:50:37.679 --> 00:50:44.239 com. So d R F R I E D E M A two N 570 00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:49.079 dot com. Freedoman is a German pronunciation, but we always swallow the e. 571 00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:52.239 So doctor Freedman dot com. Okay, And do you have a YouTube 572 00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:55.960 channel with any videos? Yes, I have a YouTube channel with the same 573 00:50:57.039 --> 00:51:01.280 name, and I'm in all social media TikTok, Instagram, whatever. I 574 00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:07.920 have a podcast called The Empowerment Solutions. I have weekly guests, so you 575 00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:12.719 can definitely find a lot there as well. Fantastic, real pleasure, Thank 576 00:51:12.760 --> 00:51:16.159 you very much. A very important book, and I'm going to have to 577 00:51:16.199 --> 00:51:22.159 get the audible version because I hold you accountable for the audible Yo. You'll 578 00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:27.880 check in with me in a month and to a study group. So pre 579 00:51:28.079 --> 00:51:30.960 been much pleasure and much success. Thank you very much. It was a 580 00:51:31.000 --> 00:51:39.519 pleasure. Later this year we're going to have a few different research investigators and 581 00:51:39.599 --> 00:51:45.199 scientists who are working on the body electric This has been a concept that's been 582 00:51:45.199 --> 00:51:50.880 around for a while, and that is working with the subtle energy of the 583 00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:58.440 body that we don't Science doesn't identify the oric field, which is measurable the 584 00:51:58.639 --> 00:52:04.760 chakra system, which we can't measure, except that the Chinese have noted in 585 00:52:04.840 --> 00:52:12.800 their acupuncture techniques as meridians an energetic field which is not recognized by Western medicine. 586 00:52:12.840 --> 00:52:15.920 Although I mean I go to my car, I go to my I 587 00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:20.599 go to my chiropractor, but I also go to my Chinese medicine doctor once 588 00:52:20.639 --> 00:52:28.639 a month for attunements, for alignments, for balance, and that's just not 589 00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:36.039 in the core curriculum or even thought about in the alipathic community. And I 590 00:52:36.079 --> 00:52:38.760 mean, if I didn't, if I hadn't seen other people getting treatments, 591 00:52:39.320 --> 00:52:45.679 had read about it myself, and know quite a few acupuncturists and this is 592 00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:55.639 Northern California mds that also acknowledge practice or refer patients to acupunctures. You know, 593 00:52:55.760 --> 00:53:01.119 no one would no one would know about it. So so when we're 594 00:53:01.159 --> 00:53:06.920 talking about the emotions, that's an energetic field. And what we're here about 595 00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:12.199 today is a physician that knows that his training is way off the cuff. 596 00:53:13.039 --> 00:53:20.159 And so my point is that there is all types of energetic healing, there's 597 00:53:20.320 --> 00:53:25.280 emotional healing, and understanding your emotions and how they affect your body is really 598 00:53:25.360 --> 00:53:31.280 really critical. And that's why this book that just came out, Empowerment Solution, 599 00:53:32.599 --> 00:53:39.400 is really a good stepping stone into core healing, not just band aiding 600 00:53:39.639 --> 00:53:45.440 a problem with a drug, but really getting to the core of it. 601 00:53:45.519 --> 00:53:47.840 Why is this happening, Why do I feel this way? Why does my 602 00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:53.480 body not responding. I think the energy medicine side of things will also help 603 00:53:53.519 --> 00:54:01.400 because if you can tap into the energetic field around a problem, I think 604 00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:05.800 that triggers emotions. And this is what happens when you go to a massage 605 00:54:06.760 --> 00:54:09.239 therapist. Sometimes you'll get a massage and they'll work a certain area and all 606 00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:15.000 of a sudden, you'll have an emotion that comes out. So all kinds 607 00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:21.960 of subtle natural healing methods that are very very good for healing, but are 608 00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:28.599 not endorsed by allopathy because they can't quantify it. We're dealing with the scientific 609 00:54:28.679 --> 00:54:34.840 method in medicine. Oh my god, the scientific method in medicine. This 610 00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:37.719 is why, And I'm going to upset a lot of people by saying this, 611 00:54:38.239 --> 00:54:46.199 the entire cancer industry is a joke. It really is. These people 612 00:54:46.239 --> 00:54:55.320 are screaming for subtle energy work and instead of that, they're getting radiation, 613 00:54:55.480 --> 00:55:01.639 they're getting chemotherapy, they're getting surgery, and it's not a great way to 614 00:55:01.719 --> 00:55:07.719 heal. So yeah, I'm looking forward to some of the new therapies that 615 00:55:07.719 --> 00:55:15.159 are energetic medicine, vibrational healing, and we'll be promoting those and having guests 616 00:55:15.239 --> 00:55:21.679 on in the coming months. All right, that's it for this program today. 617 00:55:21.760 --> 00:55:25.000 When I think my guests doctor Friedman Shop coming to us from Paris, 618 00:55:25.039 --> 00:55:30.559 France, that's always a team of Ruth, Thomas, Mark Foster and everyone 619 00:55:30.599 --> 00:55:36.079 who makes this thing happen. Thank you, I appreciate it. All right, 620 00:55:36.079 --> 00:56:00.159 take care of be well, and we'll talk to you next time. I