Welcome to Destiny. Now here's your host, Cliff Dunning. Hey, how
are you welcome to Destiny. When we visit our doctor, we are hoping
that we have a solution to our illness, be it emotional, mental,
physical illness, and we rely on our doctors to treat us, to understand
what is going on with us, and to heal whatever our problems are.
In today's world, especially in the Western in the United States, we are
dealing with allopathy and this is a certain type of wellness practice that doesn't necessarily
address the emotions of an individual. And today we're going to talk with a
cardiologist who has seen this and written a book called The Empowerment Solution. What's
interesting, and I've talked about this a lot. What's interesting about allopathic medicine
as the dominant healing protocol for regaining wellness is the fact that it seems to
really miss the mark when it comes to understanding how a person developed an illness,
what their state of mind is during or before they were ill, and
you know, addressing these subtleties of living, what anxieties are you dealing with,
what fears? What angers? Are you resolving these issues? Unless you
go to a psychologist or a therapist, and most people don't, and those
who do recognize that they need to see somebody that can deal with their emotions
and mental state. Most of us just go to our family doctor and say,
hey, I feel I've been feeling ill for a while, and you
know, I need I need something for this. Most of the time it's
going to be a quick solution in the form of a drug which just suppresses
the issue. And we're anxious and we're stressed out. These are the beginnings
of can be the beginnings of disease. Process. If you're constantly under stress,
this can lead to digestive issues, sleep issues, heart and cardiac issues.
I mean, it gets rex habits with the whole body. It produces
unwanted hormones, and when we're not well, you know, it just causes
more issues. So when you go to your doctor and you don't get the
solutions that are helping are working to resolve the emotional issues behind illness, then
you're suppressing the real core issues and you're left with the physical manifestations of your
depression, your anxiety, your fear, but you're not resolving them and you're
not looking at them to see you know, Okay, maybe I need to
take more time off, I need to consider another job. Perhaps this relationship
is not working for me. It's causing me more problems. And you know,
there's a million self help books out there, but I'll tell you it's
rare that we have time to do anything, including reading. And that's why
I suggest audible. But I've been talking about this for months, if not
years, the fact that our so called healers or medical establishment is are not
trained to deal with the subtleties of illness, trained to work with and request
or do an evaluation to find out what's going on mentally when somebody comes in
who's ill. And you know, the drug industry is taken over and there's
drugs for everything from nervous legs, nervous feet, stomach problems, headaches,
aches and pains. But I think if we trace some of these aches and
plains and try to establish the root cause, a lot of them are going
to come up on an emotional scale. So our program today is dealing with
this, and again it's a classically trained medical doctor. Program is the empowerment
solution. And my guest today is doctor Friedman shab Here in the United States,
we most of us suffer from the stress of working, the ninety five
existence the family. The obligations can really beared down on us and cause a
great deal or a deal of anxiety. And my guest today has written a
book on the on dealing with these problems. It's called The Empowerment Solution.
Six Keys to an Unlocking your Full Potential with the Subconscious Mind. And I
was looking at this book and one of the things that I have found is
that when we have ways to resolve the stress and anxiety, we should go
to that. And I push meditation. And we've had people on the program
who are talking about psychedelics, but that's kind of scary. If you want
to resolve a problem or an anxiety and you take a psychedelic, maybe that's
temporary. Some people have a long term issues resolved. But this book,
The Empowerment Solution, really looks at the problem from a process. My guess
is doctor Freeman Shob and he is coming to us from France. We're going
to hear about this program and the process. And Freedman, welcome to Destiny.
Great they have you on the program. Well, it's my destiny apparently
to be on the program. About that. Hey, in the beginning of
the book, you give some really startling statistics, specific statistics regarding COVID,
and you report that over four point three million Americans left their jobs in two
thousand and twenty one. That's a huge number of people. And would you
say that it was caused simply because of the stress of COVID or the opportunities
that their companies gave them, or maybe both to work from home or quit.
Well, I think you know, I'm mentioning especially the great resignation movement,
which was, you know, driven by two things. One is that
people said life is too short. I don't want to have a low paying
job that just eats my soul and so I'm out of here. And the
other one is that people that had well paying job, especially tech jobs,
said I want to go for passion. I want to go for something that
I'm really interested in and not just sit in a cubicle and maybe make a
good paycheck but don't really feel fulfilled. So there are these two strands,
and you know, you could argue just the pressure of paying builds and all
those things reverse those trends already quite a bit. But the bottom line is
that COVID was not just a catastrophe or a problem mentally, emotionally, physically.
For many people, it was also kind of a pause button and they
were reconsidering their lives, sitting at home feeling like, Okay, what am
I really missing? Is it just that I cannot go out or is a
bigger picture a little bit off? And is there maybe something I need to
really change now before it's too late. People were facing their mortality, facing
you know that they are not invincible, that time is not eternal, and
those big questions that we usually avoid asking ourselves, we're ask more often than
not. And that was an opportunity. I thought that was something that was
actually I was hoping would bring something positive out for people, like a reset.
We'll see if that is a case or not. You're a cardiologist,
and it's funny because although that's a physical organ when when you're under stress it
does go to our heart, it can't really affect our heart, it confect
our brain and conffect our entire body. But would you say that that of
course, you wrote your first book, The Fear and Anxiety of Solution is
a fantastic title, but would you say that the stress that people are under
You saw this in your patience, and you thought, well, I have
to help them a little more. Is this kind of the basis of the
book. Well, the basis of the book is that I actually had a
lot of anxiety and stress and that I wanted to figure out how can I
help myself because I had it for almost thirty years, and certainly when I
was in cardiology, I did have a lot of stress and anxiety. And
I did see that there were so many patients that I knew had mental and
emotional stress, but we had nothing to give to them. You know,
we help them deal with their arrhythmia or their chest pains and whatever high blood
pressure they were dealing with, but going to the route why are you stressed
out? Why is your heart out of rhythm, why you're tensing up?
We did not have the ability to go there. And I think at that
time I just was dealing so much with my ownings idea that I wasn't really
focusing so much on that. But looking back, it was clear to me
I want to help people to heal the roots of their issues and not just
the symptoms. And that's why I like to work with the root of our
anxiety, which is in my book more inside of us as subconscious and not
necessarily just an imbalance of the brain chemistry. So I do believe that we
can resolve anxiety when we look inside rather than just you know, suppress it
or battered away. Yeah, and I have physicians in my family. There's
no training on working with your patients on resolving the emotions. You're just trauma
excellent, with trauma excellent. You know, I'm talking about alapathy now,
I'm not talking about all of medicine. My grandfather was a surgeon, and
you know, you don't ask the patient, you know, what led up
to your crisis. Well, look, you know that's just not part of
the package, is it. Unfortunately? You know, And I do remember
one patient we had. He was, you know, mid sixties, and
he was like the most interesting guy you can imagine, traveling around the world,
living in different places, always eager to take another risk. And his
passion was sailing. He loved sailboats, and he had a heart condition.
And my boss just told him, you know, sorry, scratch a sailboat,
scratch traveling, can't fly anymore. And the guy committed suicide. And
we did not see that coming. We did not see in his face that
he was completely now robbed of anything that made his life even remotely livable,
and just a diagnosis, you know, in good intentions. Sorry, you
have to take care of your heart. We took out the consideration for the
soul for this person. And I think that's something that I mean, not
to the extreme necessarily, but it happens a lot that we don't see the
patient. We don't see who the holistic entire thing is. All we see
is just the organ or only the symptoms. And that's just, you know,
unfortunately, also something where I think we are chasing something rather than really
healing. Yeah, talk about stuck, being stuck in survivor mode. And
you actually listen to the early part of your book. You talk about stressed
in an anxiety, past traumas, being afraid of failure, insecurities and one
that a lot of people deal with that isn't discussed and you actually talk about
this with your father, lack of self worth or esteem and these are stuck
in the survival Well why are these so critical to understand? Well, but
you just mentioned are all the things that make us act in survival patterns?
So when you have no self esteem, You have a hard time to show
yourself to the world. You rather play it small. That's one of the
patterns, the invisibility pattern, or when you're feeling that fundamentally you're not lovable
and you're only lovable when you are serving others, that gets you more into
the helper pattern. You know, just as a child, already you're the
good little girl, good little boy, and then mommy or daddy are pleased
with you. And then there's a pattern of you don't know yourself at all,
and all you feel is like I just want to fit in. I
just want to belong somewhere. And then you become the chameleon, you know,
someone who goes easily, can swing around and just talk exactly what others
want to hear. All those patterns are designed by the subconscious mind to give
us security, but the problem is they don't give us fulfillment, and so
we're stuck in those patterns and they make us more anxious because the more we
find out that matter how many people we avoid it or how many people were
pleasing, we still feel small. We still have the same issues, We
still feel not good enough. The beliefs haven't changed, and we become more
dependent on the outside world because we're not really looking inside. And that's that
survival cycle I'm talking about where even though the intention is good, in the
end we end up feeling more scared, more hopeless, more powerless because we're
not living up to our full potential. One of the areas that you talk
about that I, as a conference producer and someone who works on the personal
growth arena, find that people have subtle traumas, either through childhood, their
parents, or an event with somebody, and even in adulthood, we can
suffer a trauma. And I'm talking about emotional traumas now, not physical traumas,
but that can be a part of the two. It most of us
on the scale of emotional traumas. How do we know that we've been traumatized?
What are the signs that we need to get help or self heal a
trauma? I like that question because I think trauma is such a buzzword these
days. I mean, like everyone talks about trauma, and I think there
is a risk because trauma can be also something we hide behind. You know,
we have been traumatized so well naturally we cannot necessarily function normally or naturally
we have this and that, and that's a pattern of almost living in the
victimization of the trauma. Now, when you think about the deeper subconscious effect
that this trauma has, it's not that the subconscious cannot deal with trauma.
The subconscious as just not figure out how to see it. Trauma is confusion.
The chord is really that we don't know, we cannot make sense out
of it. And so if we are going back and this is a process
in the book and really trying to see the trauma more from the perspective of
the now person and get the answers to the subconscious that are still running inside
of us. Why and why this person? And was it my fault?
Could I have prevented it? Should have done it differently? All those things
that come up over and over again. The subconscious ask us questions because the
subconscious doesn't want to get stuck in it. He wants to grow from it.
It wants to learn from it. So trauma is an opportunity. Trauma
is not defining us, but we have to ask and answer those questions that
help us to make sense out of it and not just you know, feel
again in this entrapment of confusion. Yeah, and I hear what you're saying
about that. In a minute, we're going to talk about some of the
processes that you used to extract data to analyze your issues. By the way,
those of you listening, Freeman has also recorded this book on Audible,
and I should also mention the book comes out I think this week, So
this is all really good timing. So as you guys know who are listening,
I am not able always to read books, and Audible is a wonderful
way to take in the content of a book. Let's talk about one that
I find was a challenge for me and may still be a challenge, which
is being afraid of failures. And this is something that children deal with and
leads into adulthood. Talk a little bit about being afraid of failing and how
problematic that is and how detrimental it can be for our emotional health. That's
definitely very close to my story because when I was little, was told that
I'm a late bloomer. Well, I was a late bloomer because I didn't
even know what that meant, late bloomer, what does that mean like?
But I heard then my parents talking behind my back that they thought, well,
he may actually never make it to college, and that I was like,
oh, yeah, yeah, what does that mean? Because my parents
were doctors, my sister was smart, so I couldn't just be the not
so smart one. And then I really was afraid of failure. And that's
how my anxiety really started, this feeling of okay, am I really not
smart enough? And you know, then you push yourself and then you prove
yourself and then it's not enough. You have to prove yourself more. You
have to make the bars higher. And while at the end I figured out,
no matter how high I jumped, I still feel like I'm falling back
in the same fear of failure. That doesn't really change anything. So the
fear of failure is such a driving force because it's connected to our self worth.
We feel success equal self worse, and no matter how much success you
have, no matter how much approval you have, your self worse doesn't changed
because it's all dependent on external validation. I needed to figure out when I
was, you know, a in curdiology, I was, you know,
having published papers in very prestigious medical journals didn't mean anything to me. I
was still lost, and one day I found myself in the church, thinking
like maybe I'm going to find some meaning and answers, some connection, Maybe
there's a booming voice saying you are good enough. Nothing happened, but I
definitely realized, Okay, something needs to happen because I am not feeling good
about myself no matter how much I succeed. And this is the trap.
So many young people right now are stuck in. They are trained in,
you know, with parents and teachers alike, to not fail. You have
to succeed. You have to be ready to go to an IVY college if
possible. You have to be best in sports, you have to be marstady.
And there's so much pushing and competing and comparing happening that failure is not
an option whatsoever. And so kids are already, at twelve or even younger,
always in their mind afraid of failing, afraid of not measuring up.
And there is no wonder that a so many kids feel like they need now
medication to even make it to the day and be So many kids are writing
me and saying they're afraid of aging because not because they're afraid of getting old
or sick, they're afraid of time running by. And then at the end
feeling was that all for like, I did everything I was supposed to do
and nothing really made me happy. That's the fear that so many are struggling
with. Yeah, I hear you what you're saying. I'm listening to my
son talking in my head as you're mentioning that. What give us some examples
of self therapizing self therapy when you're afraid of failure. Let's talk about somebody
who is a college student whose tests are coming up and perhaps he hasn't done
well or she hasn't not done well on their tests, and there's a potential
for them failing a class. How does how do you suggest they go about
perhaps wiping the fear way so they can be the fullest of themselves in testing
or finishing the class. I mean, there are many things we can talk
about, but two let's stand out is one to take self responsibility for why
that class maybe failed. And often it's procrastination. The fear of failure often
leads to procrastination. I know it's so many that are just feeling the discomfort
of Oh, I have to write a paper, or I have to study
something that I feel already behind in, or I don't really understand, so
why not watching YouTube or why not just you know, cleaning the apartment rather
than really applying yourself. So that's very important to realize. A lot is
not a sign of you're not smart enough or good enough. You may have
been scared and that's why you have been procrastinating. The second thing is to
not define yourself by whether you're going to you know, succeed in this class
or not. That is so important. This class, the outcome of the
class doesn't define you. It doesn't define your future, It doesn't define yourself
worth. It is simply one of those goals you can either reach or you
can reach enough. Time failure is just feedback. Failure is the reset.
Failure is an opportunity to say, Okay, this time, I learned from
this, and they're going to do it better. We don't always have to
succeed to feel safe or feel good. We have to allow ourselves to fail
to also make adjustments, because so many people are just you know, feeling
like I barely made it great, but they haven't learned anything. As soon
as they have, you know, put in all nighters and as soon as
I mean, I was like this too, and as soon as you know
the classes were somehow complete, there was a big exhale. Let's just forget
about all this traumatic experience and move on and do the same thing over again.
And so you have actually failed, you have a chance to do it
better because you take it more serious. And I invited failure into my life
once I realize it really helped me to get better and to tap into inner
resources I didn't know I had. The rest was just winging it, just
getting through. It wasn't really my best self. Freeman, You you're an
exceptual individual to be able to realize failure, accept it, live through it,
and then recover. I don't think my father, who was a professor,
never talked about understanding and living through and having failures in your life.
It was either you know you, if you fail, that's a that's a
negative. I think what you're seeing is a whole different way of looking at
life, which is you learn from your failures and then you're you're better by
them. Well, what's the disconnect between and I'm sixty so that's a different
generation. But I don't think we understand quite how important it is to fail
and then recover from it and learn from that to become a better human being.
A little bit about that. Well, it's it's basically what do we
consider life to be. You know, I have watched my parents, especially
my dad, who was very driven, never wanted to fail. You know.
He was a countryside doctor, and as soon as one of his patients
left for another doctor, it was great drama in his mind. He failed,
and it was excruciating painful to watch. And at the end, I
think all this worrying and all this stress and all this fear drained a lot
of his energy. And I believe he died too young, and I think
he died in a way that looking back, he probably realized he did not
really live the best life he deserved because he was a very very good man,
but he deserved to have more peace and more happiness. If he would
have, and I learned from his mistakes, if he would have chosen to
see life more as a as a journey that is ultimately to be experienced.
It is not any kind of benchmarks that need to be reached or any kind
of successes that need to be had. Now, life is a journey that's
very unique, very personal, and a wrong. This journey the goal is
for us to become our best self and whatever it takes to be the best
selves. Failure, disappointment, rejection, all the stuff that we are avoiding.
They actually let you find yourself. You don't find yourself in your comfort
zone. You don't find yourself when you're always succeeding. You don't find yourself
and everything is just done for you. You don't find yourself. That's basically
just you know, living in a way that you wrapped in cotton with ever
without ever having to dig in deep. You know. There is this French
philosopher I forgot his name, but I watched the webinar with him and he
was really fascinating. He said, the problem in our society is that we
don't have a right of passage anymore. We don't have to really do anything
to dig in and prove ourselves. We are all kind of just so attached
to functioning, fitting in, being liked and being comfortable. And I think
that creates part of the anxiety that we are dealing with. I believe anxiety
is a sign that we don't know ourselves, and we don't connect to ourselves,
we don't believe in ourselves. It's not that just the world is scarier
than ever before. It's that we are more away from ourselves than ever before.
In failure can help you to face yourself in ways that aren't comfortable,
but you can learn a lot. You can learn also to forgive yourself,
to have compassion with yourself, and then to build another set of belief system
with yourself. Yeah. I love that we need more teachers like you Friedman
who are talking about the importance of failure. I think we need a different
term for it, different a language, because it's such a negative when when
you tell somebody, well, you failed here, but this is a chance
for learning. I mean, it's such a negative connotation around it. It's
like you're a bad person, you are not a success, you are not
going anywhere because you failed. And I remember there's a quote from Tesla the
Great inventor, who mentions the number of failures that led up to a great
success. And we see this with inventors because they fail miserably, but they'll
have an Aha moment, which is the big selling point or the success point
that arives from the failure. So I think in our Western culture, I
think this is something that we need to learn more. And well, I
think the fear of failure also prevents us sometimes from making course corrections, So
you may want to call failure feedback in my father's eyes. I remember we
celebrated my mom's seventies birthday and my dad didn't talk with me for three days
because I had decided that I'm going to quit. You know, I was
first in charadology, then I got into malcrobiology, I got a PhD.
There another one of those bars I thought I had to jump over. And
then after seven years there decided, you know, I think I have to
help people with anxiety. I think that's really the right track for me to
do. And he just could not believe. I mean he was. I
mean, in his eyes, that was the biggest failure, leaving academia,
leaving the life in the university, leaving the past, becoming a professor doing
this kind of stuff. He couldn't. I mean, that is something.
If I would have been afraid of being a failure in his eyes, you
and I wouldn't be talking. So that's why I fail is also a friend.
It's a feedback. It tells you sometimes it's not really your right track,
it's not really your passion, it's not what you're supposed to do.
Failure can be the messenger that can also tell you are you really sure you
want this? This is really your passion or you're just trying to please somebody
else. That is so huge what you just said there. I mean,
my father was such a huge influence on me, you know, and I
went to school and for a specific subject, but I never followed up on
that topic. It's so funny. I think many of us go to school
for our parents, definitely, which is kind of a challenge. I want
you to address a big one for many adults, which is a lack of
self worth or self esteem. We're gonna take a short commercial break to allow
our sponsors to identify themselves, and we'll return with our guest today, doctor
Friedman's Shop, speaking on the Empowerment Solution. We'll be right back. My
guest today is cardiologist Freedman's Shop, who has written a book called Empowerment Solutions,
and this helps us look at our emotions and the causation of physical illness.
We can be going through our life and feel great about our job,
but when we have low self esteem and self worth, it really flowers and
colors a lot of our existence. Can you talk a little bit about the
problems associated with low self esteem. You know, it's an interesting thing with
so self esteem because we all know those people that are really deeply insecure and
the ones that are just you know, hiding out, and you know,
you could say, well, they have some distorted view and themselves, well
I'm ugly, I'm not interesting, I'm this and that, And that's often
rooted deep in the subconscious based on the idea that hey, you got rejected,
you got mocked, you got you know, ignored, you wanted,
you know, be friends with someone, and they just said no to you.
Whatever those things are that makes the subconscious say, let's hide out here
insecurity is your invisibility cloak. It says, as long as a voice inside
of you says, don't even try, they won't like you. Do you
see how the last time you made a fool out of yourself. That kind
of inner critic that we are often condemning. Ultimately, it's our inner protector
because it assumes that we cannot be out in the world without getting hit or
hurt or you know again criticized and judged. And so then it just says,
I'm going to do this already. So that you don't dare to leave
the house, don't dare to speak up, because if I do it,
it's a known pain. If someone else does it, it's so much more
painful. And so that kind of insecurity is a very obvious way of hiding
out to be safe. But there is another insecurity that I think it's so
much more common and so much more a blind spot for people that would call
themself confident. I'm great at my job, I have look at this car,
look at this wife or husband or whatever. They just feel amazing,
but they are not ever willing to show any vulnerability. They're so afraid of
showing weakness, emotions, talking about their traumas, their pains, because that's
what they're really feeling insecure about. And those people suffer. Those people play
this role for you many years. No one knows them, and no one
is ever getting close to them, and they're sitting all alone in that insecurity
where they're the only ones who knows that they are a fraud, or that
they're actually a weakling, or that they're just broken, and they're hiding and
hiding behind this facade of success. That is a much more common insecurity that
often people don't see, and that's something that also leads to an ide and
depression. Yeah, that's another one of those potential failures. When you become
vulnerable to your spouse, to your friends, to your family. It's like
you're exposing your weaknesses, and that's the that's a challenge to douce of you
like that. Hey, I want to talk about the core of your book,
which is the subconscious working with the subconscious. You write that the subconscious
mind is responsible for our emotions. Talk a little bit about that. How
does that work? I mean, you know, there's just one perspective,
you know. I mean if I would talk to a neuroscientist, they would
say, you know, this is like the mid brain responsible India micd love
for the anxiety. I just don't think it's very empowering to see it this
way. So I'm much more like a follower of young and others. You
know that, just say, emotions are created by a part of a mind
that is not rational, that is not a lot and we all know this.
You know, you can have a perfectly fine day in all sudden you
feel down, or all of a sudden you feel upset. You don't know
why, there's nothing really that has changed outside of you. It's just that
your emotions are coming up. Or you're going on a date and you know
you should be chipper and confident, but you feel totally nervous and insecure.
Well, damn emotion, Why is it there? And that's a subconscious,
that's a deeper part that creates emotions for different reasons, and one reason is
to communicate with us through emotions. Ultimately, emotions are a way for the
subconscious to send messages, you know, messages about injustice when we are angry,
messages about safety and danger when we are afraid, messages about you know,
loss and pain when we're said. I mean, these are all messages,
and these messages need to be deciphered. But if you want to deal
with your emotions, you have to deal with the subconscious. We are so
fixated on calling my anxiety, my depression, my guilt. It's not the
emotion that you know, we can condemn. It's like saying, you know,
pain is something in itself. Pain is created by a part of the
body that may be inflamed or a bone that is broken. So we have
to see emotions also just as something that comes from the subconscious that wants our
attention. We does have to learn to decipher what this attention is about.
What does the subconscious try to tell us? Can give us an example of
working with the subconscious to heal. Let's just say a trauma. We've identified
a trauma, perhaps something happened as our childhood, in our childhood where we
were shamed. Let go with that one. How do we resolve that and
clear it? Well, that's something I wrote in my first book about the
Empowerment the fear anxiety solution, where there is a it's called the pattern resolution
process. It's a process basically that allows you to rewind time and go back
to that trauma, not that you are re traumatizing yourself by going back,
but with the intention to see it more from a different perspective. Now,
to know how the subconscious works, we also need to know that the subconscious
takes everything as if it's happening right now. So if I ask you to
imagine, you know, sitting on the beach somewhere and drinking on my tie,
you could actually go there, you could feel it. You could just
you know, associate yourself in this situation even though you're here. And if
you would, you go back into your past and feel everything that happened in
the past. The subconscious still sees as if it's happening right now, So
that means time is all relative and the past is not schizzled in sta own.
So we can change the past by gaining a new perspective, by gaining
a new way of looking at the past and feeling it, and therefore the
subconsciousness and see as anymore as the victim of the trauma, but more as
someone who has learned from it or became actually, you know, stronger because
of it. A lot of people I work with that have been abused,
which is kind of the big trauma, you could see, they don't realize
that because they were abused, they have seen themselves more as trapped in the
abuse, and they haven't recognized that they never became the abusers. They never
closed down and became angry at others. They continue to be kind and compassionate
and giving, and they were the opposite of what the abuser was all about.
So their goodness, their inner self has survived, the truth has been
not tarnished by what happened to them, and just realizing and being able to,
you know, subconsciously communicate with that younger version of themselves and sharing the
message. I know this sucks what happens, but you can be so proud
of yourself because whatever is really true to you, who you really are,
has not changed. You are already better and stronger and more courageous than the
person that abused you. Because you refuse to change and become an abuser.
An abuser takes your power because they feel powerless. If you have been abused
and you were not tempted to do the same you want, you are not
on the same lower level of the abuser. You took that high road,
and that recognition itself makes you realize, Wow, you know I'm not the
small one here. I'm actually the more courageous one. I'm the stronger one.
And if you add to this, then also that every abuse teaches you
about the power of forgiveness and the power of power of compassion. You actually
really complete the abuse as one stage of your life that you learn from and
can move on from. I like that your book is self therapy. And
do you have a technique where someone could look at your book and go,
I have a hint that something's wrong, but I don't know what it is
something happened to me. I experienced this situation and it left me incomplete.
How do I go about discovering what happened? How do I go about revealing
it so I can heal myself? That's a really I mean, there are
two techniques in the book. One is, which I think is really something
that has helped me a lot, the understanding that at some point in our
life we are losing our innocence. And what that basically means is that what
we came here to be and to do, which we really carry with us,
maybe even before birth, at some point we are locking it away.
Now, for me personally, this was I was a very you know child
that really believed in magic, saw energy, was you know, seeing the
walls moving. I mean, it was just like crazy stuff. And I
was completely trusting, happy, go lucky, everything is great and life is
unfolding in a perfect way. And I lost it all when I was told
I'm stupid, and when I was yelled at when I had my first dean
school and you know, really chastised, and so I put this all away.
But the loss of the innocent doesn't mean yet you put in the garbage.
Can the loss of the innocence means it's somewhere hidden inside of you.
And in this process you reclaim this part of you that you have lost.
You remember what it means to be you before the trauma, before you lost
your innocence, and you remember the magic of being you. And when people
did this, you know, they in my work with clients, they remember
that they are really way more courageous and adventurous, that they were always able
to daydream and love that and not just you know, rational, you know,
straightforward thinkers. They remember that they actually had faith and not just you
know, thinking about you know, nothing can be trusted. All these things
that they remember they can bring back and they enriched their life. And often
people say, that's what's been missing in my life. I didn't realize that
I had a whole inside of me that I always tried to fill with relationships
or stuff or success. Now I know what was missing. I wasn't whole
myself. And that's really a power pful way too to bring yourself back.
You're encouraging me to dive a little bit deeper into your book, Freeman,
listen to it, because that's a wonderful message that you gave, is that
we can reveal our authentic original self through releasing the onion skin of traumas and
these other problems that we that we face as young people because we're so vulnerable,
we're so open as young people, these these uh problems that we face
can really be a problem for us. It can lead to neurosis and all
kinds of other issues. Um, I'd like you to talk a little bit,
just address a little bit why forgiving yourself is so critical as a form
of therapy. And you featured this in your book. When you so forgive,
it's so powerful, and in fact it's so powerful we don't know that
when we forgive ourselves for an event or something that happened, it's actually,
as I use an analogy, releases and pulls apart one of these coverings or
onion skin that is covering us from being authentic. Talk a little bit about
forgiveness. Well, I mean, forgiving others is already difficult, right,
I mean we have all these misconceptions about forgiving means forgetting letting people up the
hook. You know, who are they that they have the right for me
to forgive them? And that's just you know, wrong, because forgiveness it's
just about you. It's all about us doing ourselves a favor by letting go
of the people, the situations, the events, and not any longer be
tied to them. But to get there, we also have to be willing.
It's a big L word. We have to be willing to learn from
it. We cannot just say, oh, I'm gonna forgive. They're going
to do the same thing over and over again. So we have to learn
and grow from whatever happened. And I do believe we are all teachers for
each other. The worst people in my life have been the greatest teachers,
and I'm sure I have been the greatest teacher when I heard others because there
is something to learn from mistakes of others. There is something to learn when
people mistreat us, and there's something to learn also when we do the same.
So forgiving ourselves basically works only when we are willing to have compassion with
ourselves, realizing yes, we are not perfect, but we have always the
intention to get better, and yes there is always something that when we did
this, we thought that was the best we could do, but now looking
back, we realized, no, next time, I'm going to be better.
But I don't want to hold myself back from being better by still having
guilt or shame or blame that ties me like super glued to the past.
I need to forgive myself so that I have space to be a bigger version
of myself. Not forgiving is like living in a strange jacket, and you're
not really able to grow very much in a strange jacket. So it is
about yourself, but it's also about doing better for others and two others.
Once you forgive yourself, it's a selfless act as well. Yeah, I
like that the books call the empower of it solution. My guest has been
doctor Freeman shop who's this book for? Who did you write this book for?
I mean, you wrote it for yourself, most of us authors do.
But if you were to reach out to the listeners and say, you
know, this is for this person or this person, who is it for?
It's a terrible thing. I'm gonna say, but I think it's for
everyone, because I really feel we all have one big problem. We're living
under the assumption that we are some are not good enough. We have an
owner's manual that early in our life was written that keeps us trapped in the
smaller version of ourselves where most of us have never taken the time to even
consider that there is an innocent self inside of us. Most of ourselves have
never traveled back to their essence, the consciousness of what they came into this
lifetime, which you know goes beyond the innocence. This is kind of where
everything is, you know, bound together. Most of us have never learned
the steps to love themselves. Does anyone in school explains us, Well,
this is how you love to yourself and these are the step So this is
all explained in the book. This book is something I wrote for myself because
it's basically, you know, twenty years of me growing through my clients and
through my work, and then my biggest teachers are the people I'm working with.
But my intention is for everyone to really find the nugget in themselves that
they haven't discovered. It's a self discovery journey. It's not self therapy only,
it's really self discovery and I believe it leads you back home. And
when you're at home with yourself, you don't have anxiety anymore, you don't
have insecurity anymore, and you actually make a bigger difference in this world.
So it's for everyone. Yeah, I like that, Freeman. This book
is just came out. Those of you listening. You can get a copy
of it on Amazon, of course, or other bookstores. How can people
get a hold of you? What's your web address? It's doctor Freedman dot
com. So d R F R I E D E M A two N
dot com. Freedoman is a German pronunciation, but we always swallow the e.
So doctor Freedman dot com. Okay, And do you have a YouTube
channel with any videos? Yes, I have a YouTube channel with the same
name, and I'm in all social media TikTok, Instagram, whatever. I
have a podcast called The Empowerment Solutions. I have weekly guests, so you
can definitely find a lot there as well. Fantastic, real pleasure, Thank
you very much. A very important book, and I'm going to have to
get the audible version because I hold you accountable for the audible Yo. You'll
check in with me in a month and to a study group. So pre
been much pleasure and much success. Thank you very much. It was a
pleasure. Later this year we're going to have a few different research investigators and
scientists who are working on the body electric This has been a concept that's been
around for a while, and that is working with the subtle energy of the
body that we don't Science doesn't identify the oric field, which is measurable the
chakra system, which we can't measure, except that the Chinese have noted in
their acupuncture techniques as meridians an energetic field which is not recognized by Western medicine.
Although I mean I go to my car, I go to my I
go to my chiropractor, but I also go to my Chinese medicine doctor once
a month for attunements, for alignments, for balance, and that's just not
in the core curriculum or even thought about in the alipathic community. And I
mean, if I didn't, if I hadn't seen other people getting treatments,
had read about it myself, and know quite a few acupuncturists and this is
Northern California mds that also acknowledge practice or refer patients to acupunctures. You know,
no one would no one would know about it. So so when we're
talking about the emotions, that's an energetic field. And what we're here about
today is a physician that knows that his training is way off the cuff.
And so my point is that there is all types of energetic healing, there's
emotional healing, and understanding your emotions and how they affect your body is really
really critical. And that's why this book that just came out, Empowerment Solution,
is really a good stepping stone into core healing, not just band aiding
a problem with a drug, but really getting to the core of it.
Why is this happening, Why do I feel this way? Why does my
body not responding. I think the energy medicine side of things will also help
because if you can tap into the energetic field around a problem, I think
that triggers emotions. And this is what happens when you go to a massage
therapist. Sometimes you'll get a massage and they'll work a certain area and all
of a sudden, you'll have an emotion that comes out. So all kinds
of subtle natural healing methods that are very very good for healing, but are
not endorsed by allopathy because they can't quantify it. We're dealing with the scientific
method in medicine. Oh my god, the scientific method in medicine. This
is why, And I'm going to upset a lot of people by saying this,
the entire cancer industry is a joke. It really is. These people
are screaming for subtle energy work and instead of that, they're getting radiation,
they're getting chemotherapy, they're getting surgery, and it's not a great way to
heal. So yeah, I'm looking forward to some of the new therapies that
are energetic medicine, vibrational healing, and we'll be promoting those and having guests
on in the coming months. All right, that's it for this program today.
When I think my guests doctor Friedman Shop coming to us from Paris,
France, that's always a team of Ruth, Thomas, Mark Foster and everyone
who makes this thing happen. Thank you, I appreciate it. All right,
take care of be well, and we'll talk to you next time. I