This is Pod Popular Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's
the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.
Hi again everyone, It's Brian how We welcome to the Great Love Debate,
the world's number one dating and relationship podcast since twenty fifteen. I am
back here in the very fine studios of Pod Popular Podcasts for the People.
I am at the one in Scottsdale, Arizona. It is the full Scott's
Dazzle going on out here. Right. I always recommend hopping a plane and
coming to the desert. It's very, very nice. So I've always been
fascinated by people who are willing to share their experiences. They're willing to share
their journey. They're willing to share their share their ups and downs, their
pains and all of that. And I have somebody in here. He's going
to join me today. She's very smart, not just in terms of her
eloquence in talking about this, but in terms of being able to realize where
she is in her journey in life and love, where she wants to go
on her journey in life and love, and being able to talk about that
almost a while. It's happening in real time now. She wrote a memoir
and she's not that old. I guess autobiographies are for old people. And
yeah, I talked about this and they were you know. I always say
the difference between a memoir and an autobiography is a memoir is about experiences,
and an autobiography it is about events, and the experiences are what make up
a life. I think. Anyway, she wrote a book, it's called
Piece of Work. She's a podcast called piece of Work. She is,
in fact a piece of work. We're all a piece of work, Brian,
as well as well as a work in progress. I would said my
autobiography would be something like unfinished project, Danielle Tantone, how are you?
I'm great, Thank you for having me. This is so fun. What
and when did you decide I'm going to start chronicling my experiences. Well,
I wouldn't really call it chronicling my experiences. Were you a diary keeper?
Uh? Yeah? I journaled. I've always been a writer. I was
a journalism major my first degree, and I've always been a writer. And
I've always thought that real life is stranger than fiction and way more interesting.
I remember watching friends in college and I would tell my roommates, you know,
I'm going to write a book about like a real life, and they're
like, what would be interesting about this? And I'm like, everything's interesting
about this, just the interactions and the things that happen and the relationships.
Yeah, I think everything's interesting. You know. I always say about a
good podcast or good book that somebody needs to consume it and not just think
that's you. They need to think that's me exactly, and they need to
find a perspective that they can share. They need to see experiences they can
share, and mostly the emotions that are like, oh, she's going through
something similar to me, and there's a real solace in feeling I'm not the
only one. And that right there, Brian, is what a memoir does.
A memoir is a story from a life. An autobiography is a story
of a life. And so you don't necessarily have to be famous. You
have to be someone who who's experienced some things and who can process it and
share it in a vulnerable way that people see themselves in you, even if
your story is completely crazy and completely different than anything they've lived themselves. I
can't tell you how many people have read my memoir and have come to me
and said, oh my gosh, I feel so seen, like we have
this in common. And we have. And some of the most popular memoirs
are about women who feel trapped in a situation and whether that is about a
job, life, health, a relationship, because a lot of women experience
that and feel that, and you have uniquely. And I'm going to give
away almost your birthday. You're approaching fifty. You have gone through the scenes.
I just turned forty nine a few months ago. Don't approaching fishtay before
listening to this, Like in twenty twenty four. You went through that we'll
call it a metamorphosis in your twenties. You went through it in your thirties.
You went through in your forties. And I'm not saying that's necessarily unique,
but the uniqueness I think for you is I'm really going to examine where
I am now and what I want for the next ten years ahead. You
kind of divide your chapters up into decades. It just worked out that way,
and I didn't really realize that it worked out that way until this.
I'm going through a divorce currently. I left my marriage physically on October fourteenth,
twenty twenty three, which was exactly twenty two years after the first time
I got married. I got married on October thirteenth, two thousand and one,
a month after September eleventh, Oh wow, two thousand and one.
And anyway, so that was twenty two years ago. And you know,
if I had stayed married to him, I would have been someone who had
been married for twenty two years. You might be instead of who I am.
Right, but you could probably say that about anything. Everything's about,
you know, sliding doors and forks in the road and choices that we make.
And totally, the best part, the best thing you can do is
sort of move forward without regret. And the worst thing is, oh if
only if I had only done this, said this, called them back or
whatever. You have to move forward. But there's value in looking back,
totally, And I've always kind of had a tension between those two things,
Like I've love looking back. I love thinking about anniversaries of things that's meaningful
to me, that those dates and stuff. But absolutely you can't go back.
You can only go forward. And no, so but anyway, wait,
let me go back. So what I was trying to say was,
so I really I got divorced less than a year later. So right at
the end of my twenties. The first time I got divorced, you know,
I found myself divorced, dating like crazy, kind of using that to
fill myself up and keep myself busy. So I didn't go back to him
because I was lonely. And and then I met my second husband, who
was a total departure from you know, very different, and I think I
read he was a virgin. He was a virgin when we met, and
he stayed that way until we got married, until our wedding night. Okay,
and then he wasn't anymore. But you knew that, Oh yeah,
I knew that he was. He was like a Christian. He was a
Christian. He was saving himself for marriage. I don't think I was exactly
what he had in mind when he we were divorced. I assume you weren't
a virgin, So yeah, I was definitely not a virgin. And even
if I hadn't been divorced, I wasn't raised with that right, with that
value. Not that I was like taught to sleep around or anything, but
it just wasn't I wasn't raised a Christian. I was raised jewish. I
was not, you know, super he must have been so nervous that first
night. No, you wait your whole life for this. How old was
he? He was fine? Old was he? He was twenty six,
that's not terrible. No, and he was fine. And like, you
know, we kissed and stuff. I mean, it wasn't like him,
okay, but anyway, the point is so he was a departure from all
the guys who only wanted one thing, and he was refreshing. And I
did like that. And I also became a Christian, and you know,
tried to mold myself into this perfect Christian wife. And I you know,
that's where I went wrong. You can't really I tried to be something I
wasn't and that can only last so long. And I'm gonna defend the guys
who are always accused of only wanting one thing. I say, we also
want one thing. True, I don't think we all. And you know
what, if girls are really honest, we like that one thing too.
I agree. So you once you got divorced the first time, did you
feel a need to quickly get back out, like erase it from your mind?
That was a mistake. I need to do this right, and I
do this again? What was that process for me? My personality, especially
back then and even but even still I've noticed is that I'm a go getter.
Like you know, if I'm feeling a little lonely, feeling a little
a little depressed, I go out and do something. I so, Yes,
online dating was sort of new. Then I went on match dot Com.
I can't remember if there were any other. Oh there was jay Date,
which was to find Jewish men, and I did. Actually, I
have a couple of people that I met through jay Date that I'm still friends
with. In this in this something we said like, it didn't it didn't
create a love match, but I have I have a couple of people that
I can think of that I'm still really close friends with. So back up
one second. When did you know your this question? I always ask the
divorced people, and I think I told you this. I don't ask why
you got divorced. I asked, when did you know in your first marriage
that this wasn't going to be happily ever after? Well, we were in
Mexico with for in Rocky Point with a group of friends from work, and
we were out having fun and and we just were we got in a fight,
and he took off his wedding ring the next day and left it in
a he he broke his nose first, well, he was the only one
not drinking of the group. He ran it. He bumped into a sliding
glass door like walking out to the patio while we were all out at the
beach, broke his nose, and then he wanted to He didn't want to
go to a Mexican hospital, so he decided to take a bus home.
And I was like, that's the silliest thing. And he decided to take
off his wedding ring, leave it there with a bloodstained note that said I
won't be needing this anymore. I'm taking a bus home, and he broke
his nose. It was it was a silly It was a silly dramatic It
was one of those. It was like a cry for attention. He didn't
mean it, but I'm like, seriously, he's gonna leave me in Mexico
like the marriage. We were fighting. It was a silly fight. It
was like Jesus, but really I should have examined whether he was well.
This is the rest of my life. Our relationship is a lot about crisis
resolution. And if that's the way they handle it, that is a sign
that maybe not going to your thirties like that. Exactly. So by the
time I came back home, you know, was with him as he was
getting his nose fixed and everything. He begged me not to leave, and
I'm like, you left me, He left me and Mexico like I it
was already over for me. And that was really the icing, you know
on the cake that was wasn't it before we get into your third marriage,
your second marriage, how when did you know that wasn't going to be fifty
years? That one was a little more complicated. We were married nine years.
Unfortunately, I made some very poor life choices that had to do with
a little bit of like my always seeking for love. I had a little
bit of a for lack of a better term, love addiction when I was
when I was younger, and that because I became a Christian and I married
this pure, amazing guy, I thought we just wouldn't have any issues.
I thought that wouldn't you know, rear its ugly ass in our marriage because
I was a Christian, I was saved. I wasn't going to have struggles
with that. And it came up, you know so, And anyway,
long story short, I was unfaithful to him. I told him about it
because I am brutal. I can't. I can't be anything other than honest,
like I just I can't. I'm an honest person. I probably could
have told them differently. There's so many things I could have done differently.
But long story short, for three years we tried to make it work and
it just kept unraveling more and more. And that's that's all in my memoir.
The memoir is mostly about did you know that sex obviously was important to
you going into a relationship with somebody who who obviously was either wasn't not wasn't
important, but it was clearly secondary to their faith. That could be an
issue going in. I'm not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing,
but you know, that's not really That wasn't really the issue, and
we had no issues with that. And for him putting that, you know,
really it's really not my place to talk about that. But it wasn't
that that sex was secondary at all. It was more putting Jesus before before
I love Jesus and not budding said I love Danielle. You know, his
values and saving that part of himself for his wife and not for anybody else.
People need that. I mean people, A lot of times the reaction
or the action that you get in a relationship is somehow you weren't getting what
you need. But a lot of times we don't express what it is we
need until it's too late, because a lot of times we don't even know.
For me, it was I think a chase for this excitement. It
was like a drug, just the excitement and the when someone you know,
someone new tells you you're beautiful, and so like that was the drug for
me. Was not necessarily sex. It was just I've been examining this for
a while. A lot of women in their forties fifties are doing things that
I can tell an overt cry for validation, attention, almost like seventeen year
old girls with that, because they're not getting it from their partner, they're
not getting it out of their relationship. And it kind of does make sense.
And I'm like, oh, if her husband just told her that he
found her beautiful, she probably wouldn't have to enter that beauty pageant at fifty
six, you know. But honestly, in my case, in both in
really all three of my marriages that wasn't the case. It wasn't that my
husband wasn't giving it to me in either. It was it you weren't receiving
it from them. I don't know, you know, it was definitely something
in me. It was. But I think in my second marriage the main
thing was that I had tried to mold myself into something different than what I
was to please him. I had to try to make myself smaller, make
myself less outgoing, less argumentative, less talkative, because he was a very
quiet, subdued, gentle Christian man, a wonderful man, and I just
tried to be this meek and you know, serious Christian wife and it's not
me who I am. You're back out in the pool again at thirty nine,
looking at forty. So were you like, this is going to be
different to date in my forties or was that daunting? You know? I
didn't really ever think of it in terms of dating after that marriage. You
know, yes, I dated a little bit. What was different about that
time was I found myself in a series of different relationships, kind of,
for lack of a better word, relationships like flings, reaching out to people
that I had known previously, Guys that I had dated in high school or
college, like a few of them, not even just one, and the
one that I ended up marrying. So I ended up marrying one of them.
And a lot of people do that too. They reach out to the
familiar, you know, through Facebook and social media really allows you to kind
of reconnect with people in a way that's probably not natural. So you got
married a third time? How many times had he been married? He had
been married very briefly after high school when he was in the Navy, but
other than that, for all intents and purposes, he never lived. When
you go into your third marriage, is it third times a charm or three
strikes and you're out? Or what it works? I used to use that
phrase all the time. I used to say, well, it's either third
times a charm or three strikes you're out. Yeah, I've heard it.
Is that. I think that you don't know? Now there's two ways to
look at some thing, you know. I go back and forth on this,
say somebody's been married and divorced five times. Part of me likes it
to their Like a skateboarder, he keeps falling off but keeps getting back on.
And trying to get it right. There's something to be said that you
still believe in the institution to do that. But then there's something that I
think about, like, well, who are they marrying and why are they
marrying? And are they thinking this through before you could see both sides of
it and every circumstances different. Well, I rushed into it all three times
for totally different reasons each time, and I won't do that again, that's
for sure. I actually used to say three strikes you're out, or third
times a charm. But their way, there won't be a fourth marriage.
I'm why would you say that? Mostly just because I never saw myself as
someone who would be married three times. I mean, you picture just this
a different type of person than who I am. I've always been a romantic.
I've always believed in like love forever, happily ever after, And just
the fact that I've failed at it already three times. Failed is a wrong
word. But we're going to get into all along with failure. Nothing's wrong.
We learn from failure. I gotta take a quick break because we got
to pay for not four or five marriages around here. I'm probably not doing
that. I'm with Danielle Tantone. She is a piece of work, and
she is the author of a piece of work. And we will be back
right after this, and we are back nobody. I don't think anybody pictures
themselves three marriages. I mean some people do, look at Oh, this
is a starter marriage, and there's a lot of school of thought on that.
Do you believe, though, that the love of your life is still
ahead of you? You know what? I really didn't, but I've my
I did. I thought I was too old. I thought, you know,
I've had breast cancer. I don't even have nipples. I mean,
I'm forty nine. I'm not nearly as fun or as cute as I have.
You referred to them as the Barbie boobs. Yeah, I like to
call them barbies. I don't think guys are as freaked out by that as
you think. You know, They're surprisingly not. I think we're just happy
to be there. Yeah, I'm it's interesting, It's it's been anyway.
I'm I'm forever an optimist. I won't but I will be very careful and
I'm going to take some more time to just grow and be with myself.
I'm I actually like myself for the first time in my life and going through
the process of thinking back and chronicling this and talking about it, has that
made you examine and you're less hard on yourself. No, Oh, definitely,
I you know, Oh, I used to believe in a life of
no regrets. I can't say that. I mean, there are some things
that I could. I would definitely like to go back and tell myself,
don't do that, it is not worth it. But but yeah, you
know, like you said, I think I just listened to one of your
podcast episodes and one of the things you or your guests said was that you
can't judge your your younger self based on what you know now. You know
you made the best choices you could given where you were at that point,
or you made the worst choices you could. I think, you know,
And there's other It's about, you know, taking a glance to the past,
try and absorb what you can, and then moving forward with passion and
purpose. So if you believe the life you've always wanted, or maybe the
life you now want, which could be two different things, are ahead of
you, you can look at the the breast cancer as a metaphor for you
have been a survivor and you survived. You survived mostly yourself, which I
think we don't do that a lot. We were like, oh, I
survive bad relationships. I survived myself and my life. And now I'm approaching
fifty and you're probably halfway, and now you can redo all the things you
want to do. And I think that's the difference really fundamentally between an optimist
and pessimist is like, I've had bad things. I've had really shitty things
happened to me last week, last month, last year, and over the
last fifty years. But I do always see a silver lining. I always
see something the light ahead. I've just always been able to see that.
So you've gone back, You're back in the dating pool. Yeah, you
know. Plus they're a little bit do you lead with I'm about to get
divorced for you're not officially divorced, right, Yeah, I'm about to get
divorced for the third time. Well, I'm not like, I'm not on
like a million dating sites. I went on one dating site for about twenty
four hours and I've already I'm not even Somebody bumps into you at at home
depot and they ask you out and you're like, okay, I'm going through
that has never happened? What might? And they're like, are you married?
And You're like, I'm getting divorced and might probably. I usually tell
people I'm in the middle of a divorce, but does the third time matter?
It's kind of like we had somebody who come to one of our live
shows, this woman, and she's like, I'm a widow for this for
the sixth time, and I'm like, part of me right, and we're
like, what's common denominated here here? Yeah? But she's like and I'm
hoping for a seventh and I'm like, I don't want to be the seventh.
Well, Brian, anyone who's spent more than ten minutes with me knows
that I do tend to drop all the bombshells like pretty quickly, right,
But I think I do that. I guess I don't want people to find
out later like I'd rather just well, it's something to talk I'll tell you.
I think that I think that, you know, I think I talked
about this on a recent podcast. You know, there's always this adage that
you shouldn't talk about past relationships on early dates or whatever. I think we
learn. I want to know what, where, why, when why,
Because I want to see if they've learned those things. If people are just
just dismissive, like I dated a bunch of jerks or or just didn't work
out or whatever, that doesn't give me anything in terms of growth. I
want to know that the other person has has grown and that we're in a
place where because I think you know, once you get over forty, we
all have relationships. And as as my long time very wise producer of the
show said, the only one that really needs to last is the last one
totally. And so the last one. Do you believe that I really thought
the second one was the last one, and then I really thought the third
one was the last one. And it is hard to like let go of
that dream. That's that's hard. I mean, why do you have to
let go of that dream? And it's good in the moment that you think
it's the last one, that it's not, Yeah, But your dream is
that there will be a last one. Yeah. And so that's what I
want to get back to. You said I will not get married because you're
afraid that you would be a four time divorce. ID has said that in
the past because I was not okay with the idea. I really felt some
shame around the idea that I had been married three times, and I was
like, if I ever, if we do get divorced, I'm certainly not
going to do it again. Like obviously marriage isn't for me. What I
will say is that since then, I have opened my mind again, not
necessarily to the institution of marriage. I don't know that I would be legally
married. I don't know that I would easily share my finances and my you
know, everything with somebody again, but I hope to share my life with
somebody again. There is something to be said though that I think that for
that person. And if you got divorced at twenty nine, thirty nine,
and forty nine, I probably wouldn't be comfortable married to you at fifty eight,
you know. But if you're like, listen, I have, you
know, touched this stove three times and I still trust this stove and I
want to do that, there's something to be said, Like I know my
mistakes and I know I've gotten divorced, I still want to try this with
you. I think some people would be open to that. Not every guy
would be open to that, just like you know, the virgin I've been
shocked because, like I said, I've only I was twenty four hours on
a dating app and I and I've met a couple a handful of people organically,
and I am a very open book. Like this conversation is not really
that unique. I've had conversations like this with friends, with all kinds of
people, and most I've been impressed with the guys out there, honestly,
Like I know, most people like just talk about how awful the dating scene
is. I've been super impressed by the type of guys that have liked my
profile and matched with me and connected with me. That what they see in
me, like I'm like, and they're not judgmental, I know, you
know, some of them they might not need nipples, you know, And
that doesn't always come up immediately immediately comes up over the appetizer. No,
it's come up a few times and it hasn't been an issue. But everybody's
got scars, you know. Yeah, I think that I think that people
see when what they see in me, I mean, I think I must
be a little cute and they you know, I think some younger guys and
some older guys are attracted to that. But what beyond that, I think
they see somebody who loves life and who has fun, and who is an
optimist and who, you know, what, finds the joy? What in
your book? Not to be a spoiler about it. Is there anything in
your book that you're like, I thought that at the time, and I
got that wrong. I say there about my book all the time. I
don't agree with like seventy percent of it looking back, which is why it
scares me to write another book. I don't think that there's like wrong or
right when we're talking about like when you're talking about memoir, Probably it is
things that you think or things that you decide. I think, I mean
your interpretation of what happened looking back, you're like, I might have misjudged
that scene that way. You know, I took fifteen years to write that
book, so I know, I'm really really happy with that book. I
think that I go through it in present tense, so you're you're experiencing it
as I experienced it, and so yes, my interpretation looking back is different,
but I tried to really be in that moment, and I think you
learn everything that you've gone through brings you to exactly where you are right now.
And exactly where you are right now is exactly where you're meant to be.
And for the old Jackie O line that you marry the first time for
love, the second time for money, and the third time for companionship,
I have never married for money. I've never been good at that part.
I don't know what my problem is now. Is nice to marry for me?
But is there something now? You admitted that you needed your love attict,
you needed validation, you needed approval, you need all those things.
What do you believe you need now in marriage four? Honestly, right now
I'm not even divorced yet. I do not need anything from anybody else right
now. Honestly, I really it's tough to date that way I need to
and I'm not looking to date like you're looking to date. I'm telling you,
Brian, I'm not. I Actually, when you do look today,
you have to The women who run to the biggest trouble are the ones who
constantly either say out loud or say to this to themselves. I don't need
anything from anybody, because we all need either a little or a lot of
things, or different things from lots of people. That's what brings us together.
So you have to decide moving in when then when I am ready for
a relationship, which I'm not now, Which is what I was trying to
say. I told you I would like to share my life with somebody.
I'd like to do life with somebody. I enjoy having someone to come home
to. I enjoy that companionship. I enjoy the connection. I enjoy having
someone who lights up when they see me. I enjoy having somebody and just
like a golden retriever. Yeah, but that does sound healthier. That's a
healthy description of what But what I was trying to say is I'm not quite
there yet. I really need some time alone. I really. I think
it's important that I enjoy being alone. But to me, that doesn't that
doesn't necessarily mean that I can't date, because dating isn't necessarily looking for a
mate, a lifelong mate. I'm really not looking for that right now.
I mean, if I find it, great, but I want to just
I just like meeting people and connecting with people and having fun, and you
do kind of what is need that connection? And that's the biggest difference between
how you dated it twenty four or twenty eight or thirty five or whatever.
What's the longest you've ever been a single. I mean, I was single
the first twenty five six years of my life, but I don't count seven
year old single is the same. So from twenty five to forty nine,
what's the longest period that you have had That's actually a question I haven't really
thought about, but we're going to do the math. When I was younger,
I didn't have a lot of serious relationships, and that's one of the
reasons why why I married one of the first guys that I had a serious
relationship with. So I had I had a boyfriend in college. I had
a lot of ones that didn't work out. Most of the time, I
felt very frustrated. I felt like the guys that I liked didn't like me
back, and the ones that liked me I didn't like. It was always
I didn't have a great start, a great start. I didn't have a
great start with the love and lust and like figuring all that out. But
but so so I think I settled, or I latched onto the first serious
relationship. He you know, he took care of me, he felt he
felt, made me feel cared for, and I didn't have an opportunity because
we were living in New York City. We moved in together. I was
sick, I was in the hospital, and he moved all my stuff in
and he we just we moved in together for financial reasons. And it just
I never had an opportunity to sit back and examine whether that actually was the
person I wanted to spend the rest of my life life with, And if
I had, I would have realized, no, you know what, we
had some things in common. He was, he was good in certain ways,
but he wasn't my forever person. The second time, I latched onto
this idea of like this perfect you know, all American boy, this Christian
you know, it was a very homeless, very beautiful, wholesome, you
know life that I that I thought I wanted. But that wasn't one hundred
percent me either. Well, not too many people go from j D to
a Christian marriage, exactly exactly. It's interesting that is. Wait, you
got to read the book. You got to read the book. Yeah.
And then the third time, I was latching onto somebody from my past,
somebody from high school who you know, realized he made he should have made
the better choice and gone and gone for me instead of my best friend in
high school, right, and and that was exciting and cool, and there
was a there was a shared history there and also an excitement and we're both
very passionate and fiery. And there's all kinds of reasons why I marriage did
not work right, But now, what is it like to be married,
first married to and second divorcing somebody who is literally an open book. Well
you'll have to ask him. Well, you must have asked him. Are
you comfortable you wrote the book in the middle of your third marriage? Yeah?
He was. He We just talked last night actually, and he told
me he's like, yeah, I was so supportive and so good with because
he's very outgoing and you know, like me, kind of likes likes the
attention and you know, doesn't mind that unlike my ex. So anyway,
he told me, he's like, it's funny. I was so supportive of
it, but it's it's really hard. Now. I just wrote a piece
for my on my website, Danielle tantone dot com called a Couch in the
Kitchen and it's basically about now. It's about a little bit about the dating
and the you know what, the divorce and everything. And he he gave
it his blessing. I was hesitant to let him read it. He read
it, it was very hard for him to read, and then he gave
it his blessing. But then after I posted it and shared it, he
said that was you know, it was very hard for him. He was
with you during your cancer cancer battle. He was and he was a great
supporter. He never made me feel anything less than beautiful, because there's something
to be We had a woman on our podcast a couple of years ago,
Romy Wrightman, who went through cancer battle and it made her two things.
It made her incredibly grateful to have the spouse that she had and also incredibly
aware that this is not the person she wanted to be with once she beat
this cancer. That's interesting, and that is a hard thing to be both
grateful and then thank you. I'm out of here. Yeah. One thing
I said about about my soon to be X recently was that he he is
an amazing person to have in the highs and lows of life, like he
was recently with me at the deathbed of a friend who was dying, and
he can be in those moments and he's he cries to you of joy when
he sees me sing I sang to him at our wedding, he's he's amazing
at those moments he can have such empathy and joy and like, you know,
so much support. But our everyday interactions with each other were where we
like we fought all the time, We couldn't resolve conflict, We couldn't we
just lost our trust for each other, you know, it was it was
a deeper thing. So it was like, so, but he was awesome
with the breast cancer. Are you more after going through about to be three
divorces? Are you more confident in your ability to be a good partner moving
forward because you have examined this so carefully? I think so, And I
think there's still some examination to do. I think, like I said,
I listened to your your podcast episode and it kind of reminded me that,
you know, even though I've done a lot of work, and even though
I wrote a whole book about it, there's still some things that I that
are coming up even in this time that I'm like, huh, that's interesting.
I might want to talk to somebody about that. And there's nothing wrong
with that. I think, Like it's so it's so easy to say,
like, oh, I don't need that we are all works in progress.
We are all special needs children. Yeah. Now wait, that is the
subtitle. My book's called piece of Work. But the subtitle is We're all
a piece of work, a work in progress, and a work of art,
all at the same time. I like that. Well, because you
have apparently listened to this podcast before, you know that, we play something
called worst date or first date. So you have to ei either give our
audience and me the worst date you've ever been on or the greatest first date
you've been on, your choice. Oh my gosh, this is hard.
I didn't get all the way to the end of the episode, so I'm
not prepared for this worst date or first date. So terrible date or a
really good first date. Oh, I wish I had prepared. I'm going
you know what, I'll just have to stick with because we're talking about my
soon to be ex Mike. We got to have a second first date because
we went on our first date we went to a ketillion in high school,
where a dance we mostly went as friends. So but twenty some years later
we had reconnected on Facebook and I had flown out to Nashville to see him.
He was living there at the time. We both grew up here in
Arizona, went to high school. So twenty years later I flew out to
Nashville. And so our second first date, we'll go with that as the
most date we went. I mean, we went out to dinner. We
I think we had sushi, and then we went to a local brew house
and saw his friend's band play. And you know, there's a picture of
us that's like the best picture we've ever taken, and it was just a
great It was a great second first date. That's a good that's a nice
see. Isn't that nice looking back? And that picture was in last week
there was a Wall Street Journal article that where we were featured in a about
divorcing couples staying living together because of the housing market, and they use that
picture and it was like kind of like bittersweet. It wasn't so bad after
all ten years ago. Yeah, that is sweet. And that's not as
in common, I'm common as you think, is that when people go through
this, they just let me call that guy from high school. Because a
lot of people are coming back out of those second third marriages and that's the
lot of the pool. All right, tell everybody how they can find you
and your book and your podcast and all that. The book is called piece
of Work, a memoir. We're all a piece of work, a work
in progress and a work of art by Danielle Tantone. It's on Amazon,
it's available in audible. There's a it's read by me. It's an ebook
and softcover and hardcover. My website is Danielle Tantone dot com. That's d
A n i E l l E t as in tom A n as in
Nancy t O n e dot com. All my social medias are also at
Danielle tantone. And my podcast, which is also hosted by pod Popular,
is a Piece of Work with Danielle Tantone, so it's on all of the
podcast platforms. See this wasn't so bad, right, Oh it's fun easier
than marriage. Thank you As far as us like, share, follow,
Please review, not just this podcast, but piece of Work. Your reviews
mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot us an email, great Love
debate at gmail dot com if you've got thoughts, questions, comments about your
fourth or fifth marriage, or anything else. Also, we are about to
close these submissions. We're letting you, guys, once again, give us
the best and worst cities in America your candidates for which date. We're going
to have those lists coming out very very soon. This is a second year
in a row. I've done it. I've done the worst this way for
first I don't know, nine years of this podcast I did. I did
them all myself based on this is the list of that sperience. No,
based on what I absorbed touring the country. I have not toured nearly as
much in this year twenty twenty three as I did in the prior ten years.
That being said, the eleventh season of The Great Love Debate World Tour
Live kicks off with our tenth and of Grosery show, So the tenth year
goes into eleven. Do the math on that. Our tenth anniversary show is
February something I don't know, sixth I think. Go to Great Lovedebate dot
com. It's at the Boca black Box Center for the Arts Live. We
got a great lineup. Tickets are on sale Boca Blackbox dot com or Great
Loovedebate dot com. And it's going to be really fun because, as always
at The Great Love Debate, we never stopped making love. See you next
time The Great Love Debate it's the great love debate. Degreat love debate.
It's a great love debate.