Uh, well, hello everybody, it's Cecily Nobler. I think you know
me. This feels a little different and weird. I don't know. I
don't know over here. That's supposed to be John Trable to well, I
don't know over here, So don't do that at your next Mad TV audition.
That sounded not like that's like a I'm doing John Travelta, but it's
a it's animated, guys, it's not really John Travelta, it's his brother.
Come on, guys, look, you can't always get the A lister.
Dude. We tried something different because it's our Thursday show and it's and
just like that, I got syphilist um because and it makes sense that I
would lead us into this with my co host here, Stephanie Wilder Taylor,
because I'm obsessed with the show from day one. You are well, not
this show, the real show Sex in the City. Yes, with the
real show, because this is this is anything but a real show. And
it's kind of why we're here. It's kind of why we're dedicating an entire
like segment of Rose Pricks, because we have a lot of opinions. Takes
as no kids says as we say, because we're the kids. Now,
Yeah, exactly, that's what I meant. That's what I totally meant.
Um, Well, let me ask you something that I feel like I've never
asked you. I swear to God, I've never asked you this before we
get into this, so you know who we are. Just in case you
missed us talking about this stuff. If you were Carrie Bradshaw and you had
to choose, you were like going to choose between Aiden m Burger Um,
Alexander Petrovsky that's Burshnakough or mister Big. Okay, who would you choose?
Okay? Is it? Is it mister Big or Big Christopher nath of the
grossly like trying to have sex with young starlets. No, no, no,
it's not theirs. It's their characters. It's not the actors. Okay,
well sometimes that's hard. That's fair, fair, fair question. Okay,
then it would be Big of course. Now I've had this argument with
so many people that I just kind of gave up, Like I kind of
just didn't leave the house for a couple of years because I was like,
Okay, I can't It's just like I can't do it, and I can't
tell you how many friends I have that yelled at me. Let's say fifteen
years ago, just like what it's Aiden. Of course it's Aiden. I'm
like the guy who wears turquoise jewelry. Oh god, turquoise jewelry for guy?
No, no, never first no, he and honestly he'd be behind.
Wait, who is the other guy you said that? The one who
broke no Alexander? Oh a Burger. I picked Burger before I would pick
Aiden, and we're kind of fucked up. Of course we would choose,
but like yes, Hell yelled at me on Twitter for that too, because
I said I'd like to see him show up again, and everyone's like,
what the post it note? I mean, he's a bad god, but
he's changed. You guys, listen. He couldn't be happy for her before
because you know, he was a writer and he had a professional jealousy.
But you know, which we all understand. But he's not like that,
you guys. He first of all, he sold a screenplay Number one did.
Yeah, he really got his own success under him. And she was
ragging. She was she was she didn't understand, like men have fragile egos
and I don't you know, that's not all on him. Honestly though,
she was like she got her royalty check or whatever her her advance, remember,
and she like plops down at dinner with this really expensive shirt for him
and holds up her like because my book in France, and she holds up
her check. I would break up with her on a post it note.
I think it was actually honestly, he got more than I would have given.
I would have left right. I would have been like, I have
to go to the bathroom and I wouldn't have come. Oh my god,
I love it. I love you. This is why we podcast together because
you know what not everybody understands us I know, but Aiden so and also
so, and no spoilers, I promise, but because I'm a critic that
I've gotten seven episodes, so I know, and I'm not gonna do any
You're not going to know anything. But I've seen a lot of things.
I can I just guess something. I'm sure I guessed that Aiden hasn't changed
that much. He's still really nice. And listen, we don't know,
we don't know yet. I'll tell you that, but I will say this.
I nice is fine. We don't want to talk anyone else of being
nice. It's just like as someone as we talk about attachment issues, he
was too secure, how boring? Uh yeah. Also, I don't know,
he was also like kind of disingenuous to me. He totally he just
he didn't really know her. He projected what he wanted in a relationship onto
her and it wasn't really her. And I think she could sense that.
Oh my god, that is totally it. And the reason she went back
the second time, you know, in the show, was because she all,
you know, it was in her head like you got to choose the
guy who loves you. You got to choose someone, you know, stop
with the big stuff, stop with these awful, like fucked up guys,
Like this is a guy who loves you. Right, So she did,
she did try. I mean, I oh god, but you're right.
He was totally projecting Anne. Later, as I've said in Sexton City the
movie part two, he kissed her and Alba Dobby and he was married.
Yeah too. Not that great. Not that great. So I'm sorry Aiden
that you had some her feelings, but like, please go Sam some floors.
Now, Okay, I'm gonna say this before we even start. We're
not we we love we both loved Sex in the City a lot, Cecily
even more than I. She was more obsessed with it. I think I
really did a little bit more y Yeah, she uh, you know anyway,
but both of us have We're not going to be taking it easy on
this show. It's this this this show has a lot of flaws. So
if you're just like, oh, I'm just a fan, what, like,
God, the writing is so great, well, this might not be
the podcast for you. Yeah, we're not about s no, but I
will say and you will, you will like this. I watched I am
up to episode three. I'm where all the regular people the Plebeians are.
Episode three was not as bad as episode one and two. So as rough
as I'm going to be on these first two episodes, episode three is genuinely
better. Hashtag gets better. It really really does, and it gets better
every time. Four is better than they're like. There's a lot of there's
some there's some hope. When I say it gets better, I'm not gonna
it's not Sex and the City good, but right, there's some hope,
you know what it is. They calm down a little bit, the writers
calm down, and they stopped trying so hard to make each thing be like,
oh so quippy. It's just it's so you know, I guess it
always was the feeling of it's written by too many gay men. It's writing
about women's issues. Yes, yes, And I think they could have like
slowed down on that or realized that their mistake with that, but they didn't.
Oh girl, like it's the way, oh girl, those shoes.
What have I ever we've hung out? We've been friends for over twenty years.
Have we ever like hung out and you've been like, oh girl,
your shoes are fire. Now you've never said that to me, and we
would. Honestly, I feel bad every time I leave your like if we
go out to lunch, I feel like less of person. I understand.
I'm I need to get better at giving compliments. Girl, girl shoes,
girl love them? Okay you now, can you just gonna have to wonder
like, am I a gay man, a drag queen, or just like
a really good girlfriend? Well? All those could all be the same thing.
I know, I know, all right, case and point case in
point episode one, Okay opens up, which is like all about First of
all, it's about the met Gala, which they keep calling the met Ball
and wasn't I read that. Uh, wasn't it because they didn't get permission?
I would imagine, so otherwise it wouldn't. It doesn't make any sense,
right, Like why would they Yeah, it made no sense. Why
would they not have permission? Yeah, I just didn't know if you read
it. If you read I hadn't read that. But I'm sure she's like,
hell no, but yeah, the Kardashians are allowed in, but they
can't. I guess they must have had in case something really weird happened.
Like I guess maybe they had to say, you got to change it slightly
because just in case someone takes it really literally, we can't have that.
Okay, I get us. Well, so it's a different It's not the
Met Gala, you guys. Okay, it's the Met Ball. It's different
anyway. Opening scene they give you the scenes from like, you know whatever
years ago, and then they tell you, oh no, they give you
the scenes from season one, which was you know, so they remind us
that they died in the shower of blah blah blah. Then it's like they,
okay, so Big died. He was a major. He was really
kind of the star of the show. Honestly, and then he just dies
in the shower and everyone now has a black friend. Okay, and let's
open season two and so like that, right, So they open up and
every couple, okay, is wearing some beautiful dressing gown okay, because they're
all about to fuck their husbands, even the ones who have been in a
relationship for many years, twenty years, twenty years, they're somehow dressing up.
Now. Listen, I am not going to say, well, I
am going to say I think that married couples do not They do not dress
for bed every night and walk in and have a romantic First of all,
a lot of these people have kids. So things are happening like late at
night, like very late at night, and in the summer, like not
at all late at night, like you know, or maybe early in the
morning or you know, the guy rolls over, grabs a boob and then
like how you have a quickie. There's no, you're not lighting candles and
like dressing up and what did everybody like do they call each other and go,
okay, I want you to wear that, like the black what are
you going to wear to night to fuck your husband? The black silk?
Like long it feels almost like, you know what I'd rather they do instead
of like these negliges that nobody has. Wouldn't it be funny if they came
out in like old timey like little dressing gowns. Was like a little lantern,
yeah, and a sleeping hat. That's what I would be. It
would be like just one of those long, weird gown like night gowns.
Yes, yes, in a light and like a little candle. I love
that idea. Okay, I think yes, So all of them come out.
So we've got Carrie, by the way hers We know she's not married
because Big died. I don't know if you guys remember that, but Carrie
frank she's still seeing Franklin, who she the podcast producer that she made out
with right at the end of that like in the elevator or something. Yes,
so now he's in her bed right. It's very cute. I have
to say this, This actor is very good looking. I've in Hernandez super
cute. I don't know how many podcast producers she needs, but he's one
of them. Oh, there's just a whole crew for a podcast that's that's
apparently on the verge of getting canceled, but I don't know yet. But
oh yeah, a lot a lot of people working for her. She's a
very important lady, m very important who doesn't need to work, by the
way, because she's very rich, which we find out as well because you
know big, right, so they all like, yeah, they all come
out to fuck their husbands. Naya's yeah, Nia Naya, who is also
kind of looking cute and dressed up to watch porn. She watching porn.
Yes, she's just watching Netflix. No, she's she's there's a she's watching
porn. Okay. See that's how we know it's really not written by women
for women, right, And it's just it's all gay porn. You're like,
okay, guys, I mean I know there's women in the writer's room,
now, there were before two, but it wasn't like it just wasn't
the Michael Patrick King vibe. Right, And I'm going to have a lot
to say about and and this is this is unlike me. But one of
the things that really bothers me is and I want to put this in such
a way that I don't sound obnoxious or get canceled myself. I try to
be very careful with my words. I absolutely am extremely liberal. A lot
of people might even call me a liptard if they're if they're all right people,
but oh my god, I okay. And then there's this thing though,
Right, so the show is very very woke, and it reminds you
how woke it is, like every two seconds. But what it makes me
feel is that the more they do that, it's almost like they're being sarcastic.
It's almost like, we're not that woke, but like, look at
all you woke people here here, they're like making fun of being woke.
Do you know what I mean to lead, I thought the same I swear
to you, I thought the same thing. I was like, Okay,
it's a joke. They're fucking with us. They were given a note and
they said we have to have this, this miss because this is what it
is now, because we got a lot of you know whatever, right,
and this is yeah, and now they're just being ridiculously over the topic to
everyone's always scared of being canceled left and right, like as if, oh
my god, these liberals they're just going to cancel you for anything, Like
we all need to be careful anyway. So that's one thing that really annoys
me. But okay, everybody's having sex. They're all the couples. Miranda's
in a pool having sex with Chay. Oh yeah, they're all they're all
doing it. Okay, So then uh then Carrie and the and Franklin are
in bed and they're watching and he's so this is realistic. So they're they're
supposed to be just like fuck buddies. M just Thursday nights after they record
the Okay, that's confusing too, because they record the podcast I guess in
the morning and then it's Thursday night, Fox, But like what happens?
Why does it have to be thursdays? If you had all day in between?
Right? I mean, are you saying that you just record at night
and then he just comes home. It doesn't make any thing. Nothing makes
sense about this podcast story. And he's wearing a very strange tank top if
I recall, like I don't remember this, but his tank top is like
it was definitely I'm not saying you can't have like gender neutral clothes, but
this tank top looks like there's rests that are supposed to go in it.
Did you notice that with this tanktop, like it's toun like a woman it's
I didn't even notice that, but I just that's a costume problem. That's
not his problem. Yeah he's cute, He's really cute. Okay, I'll
give him that. So yeah they had their Thursday like sex night. Yeah,
but okay, So now it's the morning though, and Franklin, we
find out, loves just to lay in bed and watch cooking shows. Now
if you're just if your whole thing is that, you're like just it's not
kind of an intimate thing to do, like, Okay, you've had sex,
you've had your pillow talk, and now you're laying in bed and he's
doing his thing, which is to watch cooking shows, like when you just
have a buddy. But don't they go? They usually like go home.
I mean, I've remember my I don't enough, but I will, I
mean I go. Huh, I don't know what the time? Well,
so what it is? I know what it is. Franklin wants to be
in a relationship and Carrie doesn't. She's not ready because like her husband just
died yesterday. What if, like we find out the time, the timing
is, it's all just been one day since Big died, right, so
it's been like a year. It's been a year, they say that,
but he wants more, as we learn, so he's trying to kind of
hang around, right, But she doesn't seem to have a problem with that.
She's like, oh, that's kind of she thinks it's kind of cute,
right, yes, okay, anyway, okay, So he doesn't cook
and then carries like, I want to learn how to poach eggs? Why
why all of a sudden Ocause she's the new Carrie, that's why. Right,
she's lived all these whatever fifty five years now whatever, she has all
the this is okay, we'll get to this. I don't want to get
ahead of myself. Here's here. Something that happens that's also unrelatable is Charlotte
does a drop by. It's the morning and Charlotte just shows up. No,
who does that? Okay, hear me out. I would never do
that. That's a very good question. No one would do that. But
hear me out, And I am not in any way. This is not
about Kristin Davis the actress. Okay, I don't think it's a very good
actress. But like, unrelated, what if they killed off Charlotte. I
I'm not saying listen, I'm trying to. I've been trying to get in
this writer's room for like a super long time. Would you be sad if
they care? I mean, it'd be a lot of people to kill off.
You kill off Big Stamford because they you know, and then like what
if they just killed up and Samantha's no longer there? Right? Well,
but this still be a show because I would not cry. She wouldn't cry,
I know, but it would. Here'd be the problem. Do you
make it like it? Can we just get rid of her somehow? Like
she just gets a divorce and leaves her family and most to Japan with Stamford,
Like you have to do something like that, because this show is getting
already too modelin Like would they already ruin the whole first season by having it
by having her husband die in the shower when we just kind of got excited
about they like finally got together, right finally, after all this time and
they finally figured their shit out, And now here we are years later,
they've all been together and when they could have just as I've said, stayed
true to the character and made him a fucking asshole that cheated on her.
I admit nasty interesting like breakup and then you know that's relatable, or you
know what else they could have done which I would have loved, is like,
how about having the troubled guy love being married and that and thus become
kind of boring to carry because it's like she couldn't quite ever have him,
so now she does, and she's like, why is this like oh filling?
That is so interesting? Yes, because she's always like this guy that
she couldn't quite have. So instead of having her be like, oh my
god and just like that I have everything I ever wanted and they're they're so
stupid happy, how about have her be like, why am I feeling unfulfilled?
What is wrong with me? Oh? My god? That's genius.
Trying to kind of do it in the movie in the bat in the second
movie where she was like, I'm bored, we have to go out,
get up, let's go, and then she goes to Abadabi and kisses Aiden.
So she does kind of do that and then realizes, oh, I'm
really fucked up, mo. This is all that I know. Money bags
every year money bags were you right? So okay, So already it just
was kind of unrealistic that like Okay, No, I guess she just always
loved Big and she has no real problems, right, and then he died
and then a year later she's like, whatever, I have a podcast,
M hope to do and for some reason, I've lived back in my old
place yep, which makes no. I understand she wanted needed the money to
be fluid, so they sold the play. Whatever happened, but it just
doesn't make any sense. Okay, So so then they she's laying about with
Franklin. Yeah. Then then Charlotte drops bym and so meets Franklin. So
that's how information gets relayed. Then we go to the scene where Lisa,
Lisa is something. She's got like three names, Lisa Wexley, Lisa Wexley.
Oh right, okay, Charlotte's friend, Charlotte's schoolmom friend. She's dealing
with her kids. She's got three kids. They're all running around, the
little girls trying to recite some French something to her, and the husband comes
in and very much seems to want a quickie. And see the bald.
He's the bald. Yes, her little known facts. Yes, friend just
told me this. My friend is a great and just like that whisper because
he listened to us on board aff He's like, oh, that's news.
So the bald guy and it was in Hamilton. He played George Washington and
I believe the original cast of Hamilton. Wow. And by the way,
there's a lot of little theater and they do. I don't know if we've
gotten to that part yet where he puts on a little George Washington outfit.
But that's a little nod to Hamilton, which I did not know. Sometimes
you need a little whisperer. And everyone knew this, but I kind of
had forgotten that Chay is. You know, she's a she's like a she
was in Wicked, I believe, or she's she's like a Broadway star.
She's a she's a soprano. Really, yeah, Sarah, it's not Sarah.
She pronounces it Sarah. I'm not sure. Yeah, actress does the
Yes, we're talking about the non binary heay, yes, actress. Okay,
So and I can play you actually got a little sound a SoundBite of
what she sounds like. I love it, all right, you as I
find this, uh, here we go, it's gonna now this is from
spam a lot. Sorry, I don't know why I was thinking. I
think I watched something else that was m forget what I said about Wicked.
All right, this is spam a lot, and it was from the Tony's
first. If you've been sexually ross, don't work. This is her.
Do you think she's good? Skipping app Okay, it's gonna take a second
to get out there. Huh, she's she's really hamming it up. Okay,
Okay, she's actually very good. They love it. What can you
believe it? Wow? All right, okay, that's that's why I would
just do that. I know, and like really gorgeous and talented. Yeah,
I guess, I mean, I guess. Chay, isn't that actress's
fault, Like it's the fault of the right, Like, yeah, it's
not. It's really no fault right of theirs. All right, Okay,
anyway, the guy Herbert is trying to he's like rubbing up with It's it's
Herbert. It's okay, I'm pretty leave you. I'm almost one hundred percent
sure it's Herbert. You can double check me. You can look it up
on your phone or whatever you do. Well, you keep going and I'm
gonna make sure, um, but it's it's Herbert. Anyway, I think
that sounds right. Yeah, okay, So anyway, he is very like
she's kind of a harried, like I'm doing a lot of things and I've
got three kids and I'm I'm doing all the things and I'm volunteering at their
school, and he always wants to fuck her and it is really annoying.
It is Herbert, I'm so sorry, it says, it says on something
else that it's here. They didn't even get her right. Nobody gets it
right, nobody does. No one really checks their work anymore except you,
Stephanie, So thank you. M Yeah, he wants to have sex with
her all the time, and she's like, can't working on my dock?
Right, but then you know, I mean later, well that will come
back later, but like my god, sir, like leave her. Like
also she's literally says, I have to get the kids off to school,
Like it's these guys that have no regard for like what the woman is busy
doing. Oh back and wait, well, if they're your kids, do
you want them to go to school or not? Or right, come on,
just come on, come on, come on, just let's just do
it. Let's just do it. But meanwhile, the kids are walking in
the room. It's yeah, it's annoying, and it's not just let's just
do it. He's like, let me just pleasure you, baby, Just
all I need is two minutes to do that thing you like happen yet that
might be later, but still it's like it's always I mean, that's annoying.
That would annoy me. Yeah all day, Like you know what,
I've got a thing for that, and it really honestly takes like thirty seconds.
You don't have to do this. That just happens later in the bathroom.
Okay, So all that's going on, she's trying to like, like
you said, just like I am a super warm here. I got shit
to do. But they want to show that they all have these amazing sex
lives because then she comes, then she goes, but you'll something about like
but yeah, you'll be I'll be seeing you later, like out and clear
something to imply like he's like, I missed you, you missed her.
You were just having sex with her last night in bed. Relax, Okay,
Okay, I just thought of something, because are we soon close to
going over to Miranda? Like meanwhile in La yeah, yeah, well yes,
we have Charlotte and carry go for a little walk. And then and
Charlotte's like channeling Miranda, which just feels really weird. And and then she
she first she channels it's the scene you remember where she's asking about like Franklin.
Yes. But and then she's like, I'll be your friend, Samantha,
I'll be your friend. Charlotte like, well she does he have a
big dick. And then she's like, see, I'm being Samantha. Isn't
that funny? Oh it's so sad. Doesn't make you I miss her so
much, Samantha. Yeah. So then then she says she channels Miranda.
This is only important because it comes kind of comes back later because she has
Miranda saying, oh, you shouldn't do that because of the power. You
know, he's your boss at work, Like, don't give don't give up
your power. Okay, So now we have Miranda is about to do a
deprivation. Well let's okay. First she's over, she's she's for those who
don't know yet, I mean she went with Chay to La. Jane was
filming a pilot called Cha Passa obviously, and Miranda's like, this is new
me. I'm leaving my husband who now for some reason, has a totally
different voice and acts like he's a hundred, which we'll get to. And
I'm leaving my kid who's going through all kinds of crazy shit I see,
and my head only wants to watch TV. That's all he wants to do.
I'm so so bored because of my horrible husband who just wants to cuddle
with me and watch TV. Not cheating on me, not like an asshole
who doesn't listen to me. He's too sensitive. God damn it, and
I don't. I shouldn't have to put up with that now tip okay,
spoiler slightly that you'll see a little bit more unfold there. But here's my
thing. She goes to La every time they have someone go to La.
They went to La on a trip one time because they were going to make
Carrie's book into a movie, be with Matthew McConaughey, and remember she was
really annoyed. Matthew goes like, I'm miss I'm I can't that's I'm miss
the big That's Matthew McConaughey. Alright, alright, you'll carry I can't do
it. There was a time when I could do it, Like it's me
Matthew McConaughey. Alright, but okay, every time they go to La,
so they have this time they had Samantha when she moved to La in the
movie with Um Smith. Right, they they like made La the worst things,
like she's just so bored. I'm so bored, right, like like
in New York is so different. It's just every single time and they're doing
it again where she's like, what is the sitcom? I don't understand the
sitcom world? Okay, you're busy. I guess I'll just eat and get
in this sensory deprivation tank, right, because that's just what people do.
Well. First of all, so I listened our friend Madeleine, who listens
to this show, m turn me onto this podcast called and just like that
the Writer's Room. And it turns out that Michael Patrick King is well,
it doesn't turn out he is in suffer a ball and sufferable. It is
crazy what he thinks is like relatable to regular people. But he has he
did deprivation tanks. That comes up in in the podcast. Yeah, that's
like something that he loves to do, deprivation tanks. So I guess that's
just what everybody does. When they go to La, they do like super
expensive shit, like get into deprivation tanks. Well that's what they would do
with Samantha when she's just like, I'm so bored, so I'm gonna get
I'm gonna lay and put sushi on my body. I'll be naked on the
table and wait for Smith to come home from the movie shoot. But he
was home too late. Why don't movies takes a lot? He was just
like, get the fun are you kidding? So then okay, and like
who okay, so chase a lot? Don't now are we at the sort
of okay? No, not yet. She's in the deprivation tank. But
while she's getting ready to get in the deprivation tank, she takes a freaking
FaceTime call. Yeah, she's in her Brava Yeah, No, she's getting
in. She's about to get into the deprivation tank. She's not in there
yet. She takes a FaceTime call from one of the other women from I
think, um naya Okay, She's like, who's doing that? Who is
in LA? About to do an activity? Your phone rings? You not
only do pick it up? And by the way, they don't FaceTime in
every scene. There's lots of phone calls they take where they just answer the
phone. Right, why if you're half undressed, would you would you take
a FaceTime call? There is nothing you can say it would make sense.
And also why is Miranda It feels like she's just regressed, like her mentally,
like she's lost her mind. Yeah, and she doesn't know how anything
works, like what is this? I have a phone? What you're like,
you're a Lloyd, You're you're a partner in your law firm. Girl,
Yeah, you you have no idea how anything works. So meanwhile,
Chay is like being kind of a kind of an asshole at her She can
say that at her at her wardrobe fitting, Chay is, yes, which
they're at their they're at their wardrobe fitting. They put a black jacket on
them and it's got like and they're like, mmm, noah, I don't
really like it. Well because because they feel that it's not them, right,
and then we feel the writer so it's another non binary person because there's
a million of them. Everybody has to be non binary or gay, right,
it's like one hundred. Yeah, then this is like this is and
the idea is that Cha is like I feel like you're not really seeing me.
This feels like it's your show, right, And so the writer I
forgot their name, dB, dB is the writer and they have like a
blue streak in their hair and so then they're like, oh, it's going
to match your hair like the jacket, the blue in the jacket, and
uh uh Chay is like, well, I don't have a blue streak in
my hair. So yeah, so they're worried that they don't understand that dB
is trying to make the show all about dB. I'm team Chay on that.
Yes, Now have we gotten to the dildo strap on yet? I'm
really really we're not there yet? Okay, all right, so that's common
everybody you know that. Yeah. So okay, basically, Charlotte finds out
I mean, I'm telling you all the scenes that happened, but Charlotte finds
out that Harry wants to go to the Okay, so Charlotte was going to
take Anthony right, Oh we're back at the met Ball. Oh yeah,
this is huge. This is the most fucked up thing ever. Yeah,
Charlotte, they all get like a close one. Wait, why is Charlotte
even invited to the met Ball? Do they explain that? Why would she
be invited to that? I don't know, I don't know. It's not
that easy of an invite, right, Just they're weird friend Charlotte who's like
stuck in nineteen fifty five. Yeah, she can come and bring bald hair.
I mean, like what, Yeah, it seems like everybody is getting
a ticket to this thing except for so Harry decides that he wants to go,
and she's already invited Anthony. So she immediately tells Anthony, Oh,
sorry, you can't go, so okay, So now then we then we
moved from that scene because we you know, we don't spend a lot of
time with that at this point. But now Carrie is getting a call on
our podcast because you know how podcasts are, you can just call in like
it's like a radio saying that like it's a radio show. It's like okay,
go ahead, caller, first time listener, a long time listener for
some caller, like yeah, you're first time caller, because there's no phone
system hooked up to this right right, And I think this is where they're
they're just so heavy handed in this episode because the call is about like do
you think what do you do if? Like I like this guy, but
I don't think he wants it to be more than sex, right, so
they sort of set that up like what a fuck beddy kind of and right
anyway, So then the producer asks her like, hey, do you want
to go to a party on Thursday? Note, by the way, this
producer who's really cute, frank Franklin. Franklin is just like it's very casual.
He's not like, oh my god, I thank He's so much like
can we hang out more? He's not needy. He just goes, hey,
I got invited to this like rooftop party on Thursday. Do you want
on Tuesday? On Tuesday? Yeah, do you want to go stays or
there? Yeah? And she's like okay, but acts like it's kind of
a big deal. Right, it's fair. It's kind of fair. I
get I can kind of get it. But yeah, he's not being pushy
at all. No. So now we're at the go ahead, we're go
ahead call her, We're at the halles part, we're at the harness part.
We got there. Okay. So like it's like as if I want
to say, I know, Miranda's new to like all the things. She's
not pegged anyone I haven't either. For the record, I Stephanie has.
But that's her stride of talents on mine. But like she doesn't understand how
the scene feels so long, of how long it takes her to figure out
how to get this strap on on, Like it's because Jay takes a phone
call in the middle of this. She's just from Carrie background, Yes,
from Carrie, Miranda's best friend, right, who is now calling Chay?
But why again did she call Chay? And she calls Jay because she because
she's all freaked out because Franklin asked her to go do something on a Tuesday.
So now she's like, how well do you know Franklin? Like what
kind of a guy is he? And basically Cha's like, I don't Know's
like I don't know how a guy thinks. Yeah, it's got a guy
brain. I don't know. I don't guy brain. I don't know.
I know guys think it's kind of stupid. So Miranda meanwhile, is such
a graphic scene. She's fitting herself with this harness and then she's trying like
different length and color dildos, like on caeron the back there's like a pink
one, there's a Purple one, it's just kind of hanging out. It's
like, Okay, we get it, we see what you're doing. I
guarantee Cynthia Nixon was like improvising there, and I'm sure everyone was annoyed.
They're like, just let her do it. You know. She directs some
of the episodes, and it does get better when she directs one. There's
one that I was like, oh, that wasn't as bad and she had
directed it, so I'll give her. Okay. She's definitely from what I've
read, she's very annoying. She's annoying to the costume department. I'm serious,
she's like very bossy, and she really feels as a director. I
think she feels like she really knows the only way to do it. So
I guarantee she's like, I just feel like Miranda would be doing this.
Miranda wouldn't be doing any of this. Well, I read something where she's
like, the character of Miranda is totally me. It's like a hundred percent
me. So maybe she insisted that everything about that character be like true to
her life, which is like okay, but then you're not really acting.
Then it's also not true to the book. Not to say, and I
know that like Candace Bushnell, the person who created Sex and the City has
kind of let go of it. It's no longer it's like based on these
characters. But obviously she's not writing it anymore. And she's made that very
clear. This is not her story because I would and people, yes,
me too, and people can evolve like Miranda, you know, sure,
it's an interesting thing like in your fifties. Look, just today, I
will say, I was walking with a friend and I don't even remember exactly
how it came up. There were two like Golden retrievers and I was like,
this is what that was always my dream is to live with like two
Golden Retrievers in Laurel Canyon. And my friend said, so you want to
be a lesbian changes oh, because I've never mentioned that. No, I
feel like there's a lot of scenarios that I hear, like you want to
go live in England. I wanted to live in England. I also wanted
to marry a gay senator and be a beard in the DC. Forgot about
that dream. I was a big one. And then the third one was
live in Laurel Canyon like kind of alone and learn how to kind of cook
for myself and have two dogs. And my friend said today, oh,
you want to be a lesbian and I was like, I think I do.
Yeah, I get it. Yeah, So okay, so I get
Miranda, I get all this. But yeah, it's getting very graphic at
this point because she's like and it gets more graphed up. Yeah, oh
yeah later. So now okay, So Chay is telling Carrie like, you
know, some relationships are just about sex. So now Miranda, it's like
a threes Company episode where like, oh, no, misunderstanding, Shea's talking
about something else, but Miranda's like, oh, oh is this relationship just
about sex? And it's like you see her the wheels spinning in her head,
and then she gets mad and it's kind of like, Okay, we're
done with this. We're not doing your punished no more strap on for you
tonight. It makes no sense. Also, like Chay already said you can
come live with me in La, so it's obviously not just do you know
how hard it is to get to that level because remember the last time anyone
even slept it over after dating for like four months kidding like a with I
completely agree, and we spent so much time at the beginning going like,
can you believe that Chay is even into this at all? Because they were
They were the kind of person that was just fucking everybody, and now they're
like really into Miranda, So why would and why would she all of a
sudden be like, oh my god, I don't I don't. I don't
think they like me anymore. So Chase being a little cold though, we
are getting like a little bit of like Chase not that into it. I'm
getting the sense that Chase not that into Miranda, like takes every phone call
really not really that involved, like kind of only if when Miranda like grabs
Chay's head and it's like, look at me, I love you. Chay
is into Chay. Chase into Chay, which is actually probably the most like
real character for a comic. Yes, that's yas the only thing that really
holds true. Oh my gosh, Chay is a comic. And that's they
actually got one thing right. You're right, yeah, yeah, and so
and you can see it, you can see it from the outside like we've
dated them. We have dated these people. Yes, comics that are like
you think they're into you, but they're not right and there's a little So
Miranda's all of a sudden a little kind of interested because there's a little frosty,
something's a little cold. I love that we're being so serious because we're
not really telling you it's so awful. Have we gone to where Jade did
stand up? No? Not there yet. Okay, I will tell you
where we are. Okay, So now Seema Seema mentioned scene the realtor.
Yeah, this is her first scene after the beginning montage of all the fucking
everybody's doing. So Seema is with her like French boyfriend who smokes all the
time, and he's like, do you want to um, do you want
to come and meet my my son at lunch? Can you come meet my
son? Oh? That's when the met Ball is danger Like, instead of
rescheduling, she's like, okay, I'll just not go to the met Ball.
The thing that I is like, it's a really big invite and I
had address and everything, but you know what, fuck it. Yeah,
So she tells Carrie, I mean, I don't know, it's like meet
the Sun or go to the met I mean I don't I mean, what
would you do? And of course she decides to that she's got it.
This is this is the opportunity of a lifetime, I guess meeting this guy
and his son. So, and now all the dates have to change.
Okay, So now Anthony's back in poor k So Anthony, who is the
poor gay best friend, who's everybody's gay best friend, who just they do
not care about him at all. But now he can go because he's going
to be uh not Semas. So Carrie was going to bring Sema, so
now she doesn't bring Sema. So now she's going to bring Anthony. Wait
a minute, and let's let me remind you a couple of things. Anthony
randomly in one of the movies married Stamford, even though they hated each other
the entire run of the show. Mary Stamford sadly, the real actor that
plays passed away. So they just had to move, as you remember,
to Tokyo, and Anthony just never mentions it, but his husband just was
like, you know what, no more of this, I'm moving to Tokyo,
right, and just left a note. Didn't like there was not a
phone call, there wasn't anything. Just left a note for Carrie. Somehow
came into Carrie's house when she was in the shower, Stanborough wrote a handwritten
note, left it and then left. None of that makes sense. Also,
let's not forget Anthony has like a hot Bun business. He makes bread
and has like hot guys like deliver the bread all over New York. Rights
nothing, they haven't shown that one time, right, they will show it.
But it's also insane that all of a sudden he just has this like
new business because one day he made rolls hot buns, right whatever they call
it, and then he's got these hot guys that he hires and like is
inappropriate with Okay, so now he's back into the met but we don't know
what's going to happen, right, Okay, So now uh so, now
Naya, we're at the scene where not Maya is the professor, she's the
Columbia professor, right, and she meets a cute she's at a bar,
so we know that we're going to find out her. We know that her
husband Andre is on tour with his band, so she's lonely and bored and
she's at a bar and this very hot guy comes in and he's like which
it's just something that only happens in a TV shows like that. Hello,
can I he's just sitting there by himself. Can buy I want? I
would say it, do you have dinner with you? But H got this
person in front of you. Are you walls up, lady, because my
walls are right on there. He's like, but I want to join you
for dessert, and somehow she's not doesn't tell him she's married right away.
She's just like they're having problems. Remember that they were having She and Andre
were already having issues because he wants kids and she didn't write right. But
so she he's like, definitely entertaining this guy. And then she's like she
holds up her ring finger and she goes, can't I'm on a diet and
he's like, oh, I didn't see that. I didn't I didn't know
your diet. I didn't know that included chocolate. Chocolate. It's the most
ridiculous. It's so on the nose. I feel like we have so much
more to go in this episode. I So he leaves, this hot,
hot, hot guy's like, okay, well maybe next head and he leaves.
So then she's sweet. You can tell that she's just like, oh
gosh, so she swols some wine. Okay, now chay we're at the
comedy store. Oh god, when Chase doing stand up, I just can't
and Chase doing very la la jokes. It's like, hey just took to
uber from from somewhere to to my to my hotel room, Uber from my
bathroom to my kitchen up. Good night you guys, chip your waitresses all
right, good night, thank you so much. I got the light.
It's so bad. It's so bad, but with one good joke. No,
they cannot, right, Why didn't they actually because they don't have any
writers who are comedians. I guess it just makes no sense. I mean,
you just you stay in the room a little bit longer on that one,
is what I say, because that's what you guys. Everybody drives here
la am I right in New York, it's different. Good night, Okay.
Another thing that really annoyed me about this, and I think I'm getting
you know, we're both comedians, and we're both podcasters. We know way
more about these topics. I don't expect them to have everything correct, but
I'm sorry, Jay would not bring notes on the stage to do like five
minutes at the comedy store. They've got like a whole notebook situation. I
didn't even notice the notebook. That's oh yeah, they like clooks largo exactly.
You're not alternative, you're doing joke jokes like so okay. So then
the MC goes like this. After the MC's like, how about another half
a chay? Hey Jay got any parts of her? A white guy?
That's that's what the MC says. What the hell was that supposed to be?
I remember that? But like, what were the writers? It was
another stab at how like you know, it was another they're trying to be
so woke, but this show is actually anti woke, is my point.
And that was another little anti a little jab like, oh everything so woke
white white people can't even get like parts anymore, right, Okay? So
then is this one all right? So then what where are we now?
Okay, so let's see, uh okay the MC then Nia okay, So
now Nia's drunk and she's trying to FaceTime Andre so they can have from sex.
Yeah, and then he's like she's like, huh, I miss you,
but I want to show you something that's not my face. It's my
boss why many years? Like it's so crazy, and he's like, I'm
not I've got this sum it's like, I'm not a quirky lady from I
guess Portland. Hidie in the Hat, Yes, yes, so there's just
a girl. And by the way, she's not even it's not like he
answered the phone, right, So not like having sex in the moment,
right, So he's she's just playing guitar on another bed, like she's just
in the room. But they're writing a song together, that's what he says,
right, So she's working together. Right. So Naya gets really mad,
hangs up on him and goes, we're done. Okay, this is
gonna come back. I just want you guys to know that. So she's
so mad, she's like, we are, it's over. Over, We're
done, We're broken up. Okay, go fuck Hidie in the Hat.
Okay. So she says, okay, so now are we having issues?
Are we back to Miranda? Because I feel like we skipped over when they
like had no get a diner now that now smoke Bobby Lee. Yeah,
I might have skipped over Bobby Lee and um them, Well, okay,
they're having a drink, Bobby Lee the podcaster. But I've read his name
Jackie. Yeah, but here's the thing, let's talk about that. For
a second, because so she's got a podcast. Bobby Lee is what her
co host because she already has the producer that's Franklin, right, he has
the lady in the wheelchair. That's another producer. He was no, she
was on a podcast with Chay and Jackie. Oh that's right. Okay,
that's right. He had like little cute sound effects and shit. So now
he's just by the way. If we're being woke as the show so desperately
wants to be, then like, why is Bobby Lee still on it?
Because didn't all the ship come out about him? Why is Chris na Like
why is Chris Nath killed off? And right, he's still allowed to be
there, Like I don't understand. It's just whichever whatever, right, because
I feel like the show could still be better with the right anyway. Okay,
So his wife, Smoke is her name, because we have Smoke,
we have Rock but a lot of fun names, right. Smoke is a
aspiring fashion designer and she wants to make carries met ball. Yes. So
they're having drinks and he's like, oh my god, I just want to
thank you again for my wife. Like also like can we come, can
we got some tickets for us to go to the Met, Like, you
should bring us to the Met you know why because we're so cool because like
I have a black wife. That's what it says. Yeah, He's like,
yeah, it's it's one thing after another word. I'm just like,
what are you doing? What are you people doing? My wife is black?
You should bring us to the Met ball like so that her name is
Smoke. Okay, So we're not at one. So now the designer shows
up. No, not yet, So the designer the girl shows up at
the house and compliments Carrie's kimono and she's like, thanks, my friend Stamford
got it for me from Japan sent it to me from Japan. It's like,
what are you guys doing. If you don't want to Stanford on the
show, okay, then why do you have to don't bring it up?
Well, they can't have Stanford on the show. But you're right, like
you know, it was a sloppy exit, but there's like whatever if you
fired it from the show, you're like, um, he died yeah,
But I mean that's the thing that's so messed up is if they hadn't killed
off Big, they could have actually had like something that was a little more
real, like Stanford suddenly like the things do happen. Yeah, that could
have happened, and then we could have addressed it in like a much more
beautiful way than he's like, yeah, Stamford sent it from Japan. Why
is he in Japan? Again, I don't know, nobody knows, nobody
knows, commitment issues, commitment phobic. So which, by the way,
Stanford never was. He was the one desperate for a boyfriend, right right,
never have left him gone to Japan. Like this is the thing.
I feel like the writers did even watch episodes of Sexy City. I don't
think they could have known. And they never know. They're they're never like
calling like they don't have it. It's not like, oh Stanford called,
It's just like, oh, I guess he okay, whatever. No,
he's never know nothing, just he just sends a kimono. So then carry's
also being she's very rude. I've noticed as she's now that she's so rich
and like whatever, she's very cold to like everyone not and she's still doing
that old lady act where she's talking really slow, thank you, my friend
sent it? What is my dress? Right right? And smokes like I
don't know if we're gonna be ready. It's not the part where she's like,
so the dress needs to be fixed. I just I skipped. There
was a long scenes of like Carrie's getting upset because the dress is not like
getting and I just wrote Bobby Lee is a bad actor because he is totally
so. Then there's a scene where Chay there. Now we're in in Chay
and Miranda's in Chay's house mansion. For some reason, the show hasn't even
sold yet. It's a pilot. That's another thing we know. We know
Chase done well as a stand up I guess, but like, who put
you up in this mansion in Beverly Hills, Right, you haven't been sold
the show yet, right, so like you're making a pilot. Yeah,
it's not a thing yet. No, you're making a pilot. Exactly a
pilot. I've made a pilot. You don't get Rancho at all. Yeah
that you get nothing half the time. So now one thing I've we forgot
to say is that back at the comedy store, after like, hey,
you got any jobs for a white guy? Doubt it? After Miranda comes
up to Chay and tries to like give her Lilla hug from behind, and
and Chase like get away from me, stupid work. He goes I'm at
work, yeah, which is insane. First of all, a lot of
things are insane. It's insane that Miranda's even there. It's insane that Miranda
goes up is like, Hangay, that's gross. Yeah I would I would
be like Chay and be like oh no, no, no, no,
I would too, but it is we but Miranda is there to basically live
with Chay. So like, you can't get that mad when your significant other
wants to come to hang out at the comedy store. Who cares? Who?
Yeah, but like it? Who can? Like? But coming up
the way that Miranda did, I'd be like, oh my god, what
is happening? Yeah, okay, okay, okay, So now let's see.
So now they're back, they're kind of like laying in bed, and
Miranda's like, how come you don't want to let me hold you anymore?
Like, oh baby, I like to hold you, like maybe Chay.
And then the reason is you guys phrase yourselves. So Chay finally lets it
out that it's like because I feel fat, Oh my god. Right,
because at one of the fittings, what happened was somebody's like, oh,
we gotta gotta get some poundage off, because yeah, terrible lamm. That's
all the people. They just don't like anybody with different bodies, no body
fat, get that bought off. All shaming, all shamy, shame,
shame shames, like as though in New York, they're not just like stick
stick figures walking a runway. It's not really that different. But all of
a sudden, Chase like, oh no, And then if I was in
New York, I'd never get body shamed, never, I tell you,
Nella. But then Shay, but then Chase like just we're supposed to be
like, oh, she's just like us. Mmmm, all of a sudden,
you're scared that Miranda's gonna touch like a fat role like it never even
occurred to you before, like any of this right exactly, And I love
you even more now. Yeah, and then Miranda's like, you're the most
beautiful person I've ever seen in my life, in my entire life, And
then in my entire life, said all their voices like that, it's me
more Marianta. You know, I'm from the Queen's I don't even understand that's
just from the Brooks. Hey, it's me Sharlie. You know me.
I'm just crass from Long Islands. We're like, I don't really think Charlotte
sounds like that. Oh my god, it is you know, Samantha.
And then I start doing like Tony Danza. It happens in the next episode.
Okay, so okay, so uh yeah, so uh yeah, my
body, she you're the most beautiful. So then Chay gets Chay gets their
swagger back. They're like, they're like, yeah, I am the most
beautiful person you've ever seen in your life. Yeah, let's get some pizza.
And then immediately Miranda's you're that easily swayed. Okay, I'm gonna let's
role play, all right. I'm gonna be Chay and you're you okay,
okay, or you're you're short or whoever Miranda. Miranda like the lady at
the place told me I was I look fat and now I don't want you
to touch me. What that's crazy. You're the most beautiful person I've ever
seen in my life. I love it. Thanks, Let's go get some
avocado toast. Oh my god, we're in LA We've never eat that ship
in New York, but we're in La so let's eat avocado toast. Nobody
even walks here. Suddenly they're in a Woody Allen movie or if it gets
some weak germ, yeah, exactly, like oh what do you want some
alfalfa sprouts on toast? Good night? So I'm different, okay, so
sharp, all right, let's now okay. So here's what happens. Seema
goes to dinner, goes goes with her, then the French guy and and
they find out. So the French guy and his friend or whatever go out
to smoke a cigarette, and she's talking to the mom right but at this
point, right the ex wife, and she's like, so when was the
last time you saw him? And she's like this morning in the house because
you love oh yeah, and she's like what what? And so then next
she's like, I'm out of here. So she calls and is immediately like,
I'm back in for the met ball right, So now Anthony out back
out. She's like, sorry, Seema's back in your bed. He's like,
what what are you doing to me? They're getting ready, like they're
leaving for the met in a half hour. She can't tell Seema like,
Mitch, sorry, you wanted to go with this, your stupid French boyfriend,
Like you made a choice, and now I invited somebody else. I
don't just like uninvite him who I've been friends with for a really long time
because your date didn't work out. It was insane. It's totally insane.
It was so mean and disgusting and like written an awful Right, Okay,
then what happens? So then Seema is back in Okay? So then okay,
So then we have Lisa Wexley is getting ready and this is the part
where her husband's decides to eat her out for eight men. It's all an
eat baby Alexander Hamilton. Okay he Alexander's her Hamilton. You know you can
do that with you like pretty bunch of anything. It's really easy to do.
That's her galla. So she's like wearing this, she's gonna well,
she's she's wearing whatever. She's all made up and her hair's done and she's
like only below the waist and he's like, that's all I need. I
just want to eat that blasing it's so ridiculous and not realistic for marriage,
but whatever, So he eats her out. Then the next scene, she's
wearing like this ginormous headdress kind of thing that looks like like a helmet but
with all like stuff on it. It's so big. And so they're gonna
go and they're all gonna go to the met ball. Okay, So now
Charlotte is with Harry and he's wearing a top hat. He's all ready to
go, but for some reason, helped me out with this. Okay,
He's like, oh, we're not going to be coming down the main stairway
with the celebrities. I'm out, what since when is his character like I
just want to meet celebrities. Also, I'm sorry, and I know people
age differently and women maybe like try harder to kind of keep it together,
but like it's like he's a hundred ten years old. He's like, what's
the peanut, mister peanut with like the monocles. Yes, he's got like
a cane and he's just like, are we gonna be with Rihanna? And
then they're like, no, we don't get to walk the carpet with Rihanna.
I mean that's crazy. He's like forget it. So then yeah,
Anthony's back in yes, so yes, yes, Carrie called. Yeah,
he's sitting like pantless on the couch. Yeah, battle, yes, Charlotte.
Yes. Charlotte is like, get over here. I made a terrible
mistake and he's like, I'm back in. Oh god, this is not
fair they I think they really mistreated Anthony in this episode. Oh. Absolutely,
well they do the whole time. So then okay, Carrie has to
get her dress. We have a long way to go. Have we even
gotten to? Like the podcast will end with that because that's the big finish.
No, this is this is the end of this episode. Oh,
other stuff happens in episode two. Yeah, so the designer, So this
is how it ends. Carrie's designer girl Smoke Jack Smoke, can't fix the
dress. So she's like, I can't. I don't know what to do.
I'm so, you can't wear this dress because my career will be over.
Do you have something else to wear? With my cape? And the
car is veiled beauty that's the theme. So Carrie wears her wedding dress from
her marriage to Big and she's like, and just like that, I repurposed
my pain. Just like that brief, I repurposed my pain. Now I
will say they threw me a little bit for a loop because when they when
that happened, I thought she was going to put on her funeral dress because
it was veiled like dry though she's gonna go with a black dress. So
because memory, yes, but it was a bad memory because she stood up
right, right, can we say before we go on this one? He
didn't really stand okay the whole the whole movie. The first movie was like
based on a fly, like again like a threes Company episode. He was
having nerves. He tried to call her a couple of times because he was
like, I really need you to talk to me, and you know,
like I'm having a freak out here because he's big. That's what he did,
right. She never answered the phone, so like it wasn't that he
was not he wasn't breaking up with her. He just was like didn't show
up at first and kept trying to call and he's like all they say.
I was like, I can't do this. But he wanted to talk to
her, but she threw the phone across the room and then threw away her
phone and never spoke to him again for a year and until like he finally
just tracked her down. He was like, I've been sending you emails with
like poems and shit like are you into mirror what? Yes? Yes,
I took it very because I was like, what the what? That makes
no sense. If she'd just taken one minute and he could have maybe they
said, look, maybe we do need to slow Like he wasn't ending it.
He just didn't want to do this like circus right, okay, wedding
and they ended up getting married like at a town hall, you know,
like the great House, right, the town hall. They get married at
the town hall. Like I don't understand things, so that anyway, that's
the end of that episode. That's I feel like we've been talking about this
for like six hours. We hit. We just hit an hour, so
yeah, it is. It does feel like that. It was a long
episode, but it was a good one and um I laughed hard. And
next week we're gonna just keep doing this, right, yes, and it
gets insane now before it gets better, it gets way worse because I got
the two one and two mixed up and two is just out of control.
Yeah, it's really really bad and I can't wait. The best ways Yeah,
all right, absolute best ways. I'm gonna give you an f Mary
kill before we go. Okay, Jay Jay smoke. Harry. Oh my
god, well I can start. I will, Okay, go ahead,
I think you. I gotta kill Jay because I've read an article an article,
and they're insufferable, and I don't I don't think I could. There's
not a lot about Chay that I'd find either fuckable or marriage material. Okay,
So we killed Chay. We sleep with smoke, Sleep with smoke,
Mary Mary, Harry, I guess, oh god, I know maybe I'm
Mary Cha. Sorry, Harry. Well, that's our time. Okay.
Yes, I got uber over to my I gotta uber to the kitchen and
make myself watermelon something. See you on Tuesday for the Bachelor. Bachelor Episode
three will be on at that point. Yes, yeah, we'll be bringing
it there and we'll keep doing this on Thursdays. We love you, guys,
Okay, but be in here. Bye. Four