Good morning everyone. Funckle up four four two four Thursday. You know it.
We've had circled on our calendars for a long time. The Valero open.
That's what today is. We will have a correspondent live on the ground,
San Antonio at nine o'clock, San Antonio, Man, we're on that
a bit. Larry the Cable Guy eight thirty? You saying that, right,
Larry Cable the guy eight thirty? He's gonna get her done? Is
he gonna yell get her done? Because he's still like we're we introduce him,
Mary, is we just come to town for the Celebrity Golf Classic.
Here he is Larry Cable the Guy? And are we just gonna hear that?
Is he gonna start with that? Certainly king the door open like we
want him to. That's what the world wants, right, is it what
Larry Cable wants? I'm sure Larry Cable believes that he has evolved far beyond
that twenty year old catchphrase. But also, what are we supposed to do?
Say? Hey, will you do your catchphrasemen like it? To do
it now? I bet, I bet at the very beginning of the very
end, he just wraps one off and then we look at all eight of
our arms and there's just goosebumps covering them. It'll look like we all contracted
smallpox. Yes, yes, because he pushed out the window. The chair
just shoots you at the the parking lot, just spring us in the little
out of the building. So on the on the blue collar, Redneck comedy
tour, you had to have a signature catchphrase. Now, this was in
your late nineties early two thousands Sports Center huge with the catchphrase, booh yeah,
Now all that stuff is important. It's boot y'all. You didn't have
it. He screwed up. He didn't say boo y'all. Yes he did.
He said boo yeah, No, he didn't. If you listen,
I'll pull it up. I mean, I'm saying, just because you have
every piece of audio ever, well, yeah, give you any real power,
you would think that that that's not gonna help you. If we square
up, and if I punch it in the face. Does anyone in the
world know it as boo y'all? Boo y'all, yes, boot y'all.
Everyone knows it. It's boot y'all. I'm gonna find a compilation video here.
Boo yeah, yeah, No, one said boo yeah, booh.
Yeah, Well now you're changing it a little. You're not. You're turning
the knob just slightly away from yeah to y'all and trying to meet me in
the middle. He's bending the argument. Yes, you are manipulating this.
This has been manipulated, man, I guarantee you. It's my Lewis Hamilton
impression. It's pretty good. After firstap and beat him on a questionable rules
call. This has been manipulated. Man, that's pretty good, Thank you.
I had to do a double take to make sure to sir Lewis wasn't
in. I mean, what a week in racing. If we got that
guy on Lewis It would be so huge. You would be so te t
pants, wouldn't you. Yes, he's cool though I don't know. Yeah,
no, we'd be fine. But yeah, if Lewis Hamilton walked in
there, oh my god, he's so good looking, he's tiny, he's
a knight. It's Sir Lewis Hamilton. Boy, I would get the speech
before the segment. No goofy questions. Yeah, this is my interview.
Hey, this is my interview. Both of you to listen. No buffoonery
baylists listen, I know how you operate. This is a night. I
know how you operate. And then right when I say, hey, it's
Lewis Hamilton, You're like, who's the song I made? Is dumb?
Racing is stupid? Look at me, I'm racing again, making jokes about
how the f n F one stands for something else. Yeah, Derek,
we can't have Lewis Hamilton on because of your behavior. I could have had
him apologizable times and I have declined on what level, like a Mario Lopez
level or just kind of No, I don't have any relationship with Lewis Hamilton.
Finally, no unforgettable Stuart Scott catchphrases. Thank god? On what else?
We got Kolo to the other side of the I'd say Danny needs to
be cooler than the other side of the pillow in the Lewis Hamilton interview,
and look out for the jokes machine and the reason we got here. First
of all, though Jeff Fox were he started it all right, well for
that group Red Nick, Okay, that's good. That was then that's funny.
Accidently, I guess your first cousinant fan reunion. That is all?
What's up? Doc? Pretty good? And I'll give him that over bill
Ingvill. Let me just say, not a fan. Many are I know
this one. It's something like like the Bless your Heart guy on TV,
something like that. You don't like the way you look, I guarantee it.
Okay, what we do like the way you look? I guarantee you
the men's warehouse, I guarantee bill Ingvill. What was does bless your heart?
No, bless your heart? Close to that? It was not even
close to It was here's your sign? This bit was here's your sign.
I hope Christina raise up because we used to make fun of this all the
time. I bet she's not well, right on the edge and should get
my back when everyone will look at me with what is it? Here's your
sign? Yes? That was his bit classic like you do something stupid,
here's your sign that you shouldn't have done it, and it played off of
you might be a red nag, leading to Larry the Cable Guy's meteoric rise.
How many other country comics didn you name? Well, I mean I
don't really know many, and I didn't even really see any of them.
But then then another guy with him too, who I never This is stuff
I just remember, like did Ron White get thrown into that? Yeah,
hit isn't them Okay, he's funny. They're all funny. They're all freaking
funny. I just don't know the problem is they get pigeonholed by those tours,
you know, where you get a bunch of them together and they get
kind of stuck in in uh by their catchphrases are kind of trapped by those
two trapped can find in a prison of your own design. And Larry the
Cable who's brilliant. Yeah, he's really good. Larry the Cable guy is
not country guy Georgia. But he's like he's his name is Lawrence, Lawrence
Cable. I mean he's not like he's doing a character. Yeah, isn't
there there's there's a video of him doing like regular stand up. Yeah,
and it's great. He's just doing a looter. Who's the new guy that
is it? Trey Crowder? Huh Trey Crowder j Crowder. Tray Crowders is
an Alabam. I'm a guy I'm thinking the Tennessee kid. He's Trey Crowded,
the liberal redneck. Oh, he's the guy that sounds about as deep
South as you can get. But he just rips on Trump all the time.
We've been asked to have Dusty Sleigh on next week. You know,
Dusty Sleigh another Southeastern, very deep voice. He's funny. I've seen him.
So I feel like you're kind of pushing this on us. It's just
got tough day Wednesday before the Masters. I don't know if it's a good
day to happen, you know, I don't know. I don't know.
Okay, you ready for Stuart Scott's catchphrases? Sure? Oh JJ, crep
me up? Please? Oh, here we go. Attribute first? What
Oh, it's not. It's not the audio of them. It's they're all
on like a power point. Well that sucks. It doesn't matter. We
don't need to hear it. Just read the lifts and do it. Okay,
No, but then he's gonna say boot yeah, Well that's what it
is. How's it spelled boo yeah? Spelled boo y'all? But he didn't
say boo yall? He went boo yeah? Did he said boo? Yeah?
I don't believe. No one believes you. No one ever believes you
supports center top ten one liners. Now see another's playing allies. This sucks.
We didn't know we were gonna go there though. There he is doing
the Michael Jordan's flu game. I bet he drops a boo yeah in there.
No way, but I don't want to watch the three minute highlight.
Now, if you're David crossed from the rest of the development, you might
say boo y'all, Okay, not Stuart Scott boo yeah. I'm just saying,
all right, I think I'll get a lot of support on this.
Okay, update from San Antonio. Man, you don't want this, guys.
Boo yah yeah, this this article is gonna calls him Stuart boo yah
Scott. Uh. But it's how he said it, Okay, all right,
man, Well maybe he was mispronouncing it. Yeah, he was miscrotching
his own yeah catchphrase. Uh. I mean you've heard him say it,
right. I'm amazed that there's even a debate about it. There's not a
disagreement about this. There really isn't. Okay. I think I think I'll
get it in this commercial. Yeah, Royce Clayton takes one top five ooh
yeah, Royce Clayton takes one. Guzman out Royce slawyer roll kid. It's
only his fifth homer of the year, but he rushed it and crushed at
four hundred and twenty three feet three. Butta because he is on a roll
at a time. That's a good one. That was a good one.
Did you google search? No YouTube video? It's what it's it's coming sewer
Scott mispronounced his own catchphrase. Think how crazy it would be if I showed
up to work, okay, not knowing this would come up, and I
was just you know what, I'm really just going to disagree with Mike today.
Boo y'all. It's it's it's gonna be different. No, it's like
what I truly remember, remember it as it would be strange if I didn't
stand up for this. No, it was Tomato's cignature phrase. Uh,
I don't know if he had one. Here let me see this bad boy.
Here's a compilation. Kevin might be right. I don't know. I
am willing to admit it if I'm wrong, but I always thought it was.
Boo yoll just admit that your guys are uncomfortable. Oh yeah. Royce
Clayton takes one Guzman out. He related to old mister G who was a
neighbor of his. This is his daughter. He was punctuated when lightning crash
crash started cracking up. You know, label your g D videos properly,
this says Stuart Scott Boo Yah compilation. He says it once and then they
get people talking about him. It's always dicey to play audio that we haven't.
Yeah, I'll never do that again. I will never do that again.
I will do it three more times this hour. I know. Here's
the quardback. Thank you taking it? Okay, So we got san Antonio
man down there for the Valero Open today. Is he dressed and ready?
Okay? If you missed the nine o'clock segment yesterday. Basically there's a listener
from san Antonio. In fact, he called in on Tuesday to the speakeasy
to see if he could to volunteer guys over your course, reporter. I
lived by the course, and they said, well, that's more of a
Sroy thing. So he texted and then called into us yesterday and explained that
he lives near the golf course, but there's a wooded area preventing him from
getting there. And basically he brought up the idea of trespassing and we were
like, you won't get arrest of his idea. Yeah, it was We're
not even encouraging this. So we had twenty minutes of just talking. What's
the best way to go though, if you were to sneak on to a
place, lanyard, carry a step ladder, clipboard, tablet, hard hat,
goggles, there's plenty of options. Orange vests if you have one,
have a bit of an albi talking volunteering for Frost Bank. There's a lot
of plays that you have. I texted him last night because he said,
I'm gonna do a recon mission tonight. I'll send picks and let you know.
I texted at six thirty one last night. I said, how we
feeling, Big dog nice? And he said, I'm working on it.
Calm down, all right, that's funny, Okay, So he was probably
feeling a little panic a moment. He said, what did I do?
It sounds such a fun ideas in the middle of trying to figure it out,
calm down. Six thirty seven. I respond, you're the kind of
guy we need. He said, I'm the kind of guy everybody needs.
Just be patient. I'm about to do the recon mission. By the way,
just so you know that Mike Siio guy can't be trusted. Wait did
you throw that in? He all here. Then he sent me a picture
of what appears to be either a portion of his yard or the beginning of
the wooded area that he is going to have to traverse through today. He
said, here we go. On the other side of these trees is the
San Antonio Hill Country TPC. And then he shoots a picture of you know
what do they call the temporary bleachers that are built, And it's got the
logo the Valero Texas open right there on the course. He's on the ground
and is at the back of the bleachers. I think. So he walked
from his house through the wooded area and just it opened up and took golf
emerged to the PGA tour. He texted me, I made it through the
woods. I gotta keep moving, Okay, see how I can get to
the course. There's a lot of dudes on golf carts driving around. They
seem to be maintenance guys. I'm on whole fifteen. There's no fence,
no fence. There's a dude water in the tea box. He said,
if I walk up here tomorrow, I might get smashed. I buy a
t shot. Yeah, And then he typed in two, one, four,
all threes. There's no fence. I can walk wherever I want to
walk. No lanyards is the key and a golf shirt. Will we set
them up for success? We told him, golf shirt, lanyards, stay
on the phone. That's if you can't acquire walkie talkie. Did you overnight
the walkie talkie to him? Malcolm's number two walkie talking I had it sent
by drone. Okay, so it's honestly it's buzzing its way there right now.
Yep, it's got a dead battery somewhere. Short of walks ahead,
you're going at a solid thirty two miles an hour. I recommend that instead
of golf short golf shirt, this man wear orange jumpsuit to just cut out
the middleman. Just be dressed for Yeah, dress for the job you want,
Dressed for the job you're gonna get. Yeah, your inevitable job,
which is smashing a big rock into lots of tiny rocks. Does he know
that? Uh? Does he know golfer like don't walk onto the tea box,
like across a green. That's my that was my question. I was
thinking too, because we want him to follow Marikawa and Max Homa. That
is the strategy here. Well, hold on HUDs. So I gave him
the instruction at eight ten, I said, JJ will call this number.
It'll be from a two to one four number. I here ant nine am
tomorrow morning. He said, I ain't scared, bro, I got this
cutting edge radio broadcasting. I was able to walk out of the woods onto
the whole fifteen tea bop. That's amazing. Don't walk onto the tea box.
Well, this is where Okay, all he needs to do is get
through the damn woods and find anything that resembles a gallery or a fan.
You're in blend in. It's over and frankly at that point, I don't
know if we need them on the phone just walking around as a member of
the gallery of the Valero Open. The true result that we want is Max
Homa's performance on three right, which might be a problem now, yeah,
which we're probably not even gonna have him in time for him. Yeah,
we'll find that out on the internet. That's okay, though that makes me
sad, you know that. Switch it to six or seven. It doesn't
matter the point. The goal is going to be we see him on TV
too. Lyrics lyrics can be changed. It could be max home a bog
eat on one. Yeah, you know, there you go? Or eight.
I said about eight, Yeah, which hard on a Okay, all
right, yeah, switch is something more likely apar. So I'm just trying
to try and support him. At this point, I said, you're superman.
He said, calm down. I found a clipboard. That's the second
time he's amazing. Second time he's told you to calm down too. You're
whipping his ass. Yeah. So this morning I got a text for him
at five forty seven am. S A man is up and getting prepared.
Here's the deal. No signs about crestpossing, no fencer barrier of any kind,
just thick wooded area. But I found a path to the whole fifteen
tea box. This is happening, Katie. I need some coffee. I
said, we're about to talk about you, bro, he said, I'm
tuning in. Dude. Should we get him on right now and see if
he knows the rules of golf? Yeah? Yes, probably, But what
else we need to tell him? You know that we love him and support
him, just kind of give him his final Yeah, like a navy man
getting ready to head off to see yeah, we kick our one leg back
and give him one peck on the lips, and if he does, in
fact get arrested that we are happy to take care of his bail. If
they will barter with us for Alberne's gift cards, yes, we're willing to.
They might be expired. I don't possibly expired. Albernes found a stack
of him in a jacket that I haven't worn in a year. I just
like twenty of them, right like. It might be one thousand dollars the
gift cards, or it might be twenty dollars. Well, I hand them
over. I think somebody burned through all them gift cards. Yeah, I
mean we got the empties eligible and they might have shut down. I don't
really know. Probably not. That restaurant is never gonna shut down. Morning
News. Yeah, they've got that special guest room that prints money. Yes,
we had a good night there eating. Yeah. The guy's got als
though, right. Alburne joining us down the free hotline. It is san
Antonio Man, Good morning, This is san Antonio Man. I will tell
you right out of the gates, Kat who appears to be calm, so
you don't need to remind him to calm down. We need to calm down,
man, because you know, there's a lot of work going into this.
He just needs to calm down. I know. And you're the one
on the front lines, dude, And it's like when you see your your
general in the command center, you general, whatever your name is. I
know, I'm on the front line. Okay, there's a lot of stress
going on. Okay, right, ay, ready to calm down. We're
okay. I'm just kidding. I kind of love responding to almost any text
I received calm down. I do that. I have a friend of mine
that I do that all the time, and she hates it. Is it?
Why is calm down? Why is it when you say the words calm
down, it immediately sends skyrockets the other person's blood pressure. It never works,
It elevates the whole Its hilarious. All right, So you're up and
at him, dude? Are you doing calous? I can't just keep talking?
What? Yeah? No, go ahead? Are you doing some stretching,
some calisten X. We're getting our head right. Coffee, coffee,
Okay, I'm drinking coffee. Is your outfit laid out? I got my
I'm gonna I got my soft shirt. I'm not gonna do it. Man,
this is gonna be so easy. I'm not even doing laying here or
you're a clipboard or nothing. Just walk through the woods. This person,
I've ever done this. I've only lived here for six months. I walked
through the woods. I knew where a tea box was because I can hear
the I always hear the people teeing off over there. I walked through the
woods. There's a path. I didn't even have to It wasn't even that
hard, dude. I walked out out of the woods right onto the damn
a whole fifteen tea box. Okay, we we talked about that briefly.
Now, are you a golfer. I haven't a swung club in like ten
years, dude. Okay, but do you know that kind of the basic
etiquette, Like dudes, and like you're you're not gonna want to walk upon
or really that close to the actual tea box or the green. Don't just
trape through it through a bunker if there's one in front of you. But
look, dude, dude, when you walk up that that path I went
through, that I found in the woods, and you come right up at
the tea box, and there's nothing anywhere in a direction. You can't see
anything. There's so many you use. The course is narrow, you know,
there's no there's nothing. Did you need to look to the right,
look to the left, there's there's nothing. Okay, But are you on
the wrong side of the hole, like, are you are you on the
are you on the right side of the hole? Is there gallery where the
crowd is supposed to be on your side of the hole or do you have
to like cross the hole behind? I don't know what you are talking about
grandstands and stuff, but I put this tea box. There's nothing there.
So once you get in there, it's just trees. It's like narrow.
It's like there's trees in every direction. You can't see anything or anybody.
There's happened to be a dude out there water in the tea box. How
He's like, what are you doing here? I'm like, man, I
live right there, dude, And he's like, well, you know,
there's no fence, there's no barrier, there's no no test patching signs.
Yeah, all right, okay, So here's my question. How confident are
you that you can actually get on the course, not like, well,
like be a part of the gallery and then planned in with the gallery.
Oh man, that's going to be easy. Okay, okay, okay,
well I love the confidence. That's gonna be easy. But it's like when
you walk in the woods up to that che box. There's there's no I
mean it's narrow and wooded and there's there's no there's happened to be one dude
up there, water in the box. Okay, there'd be a lot more
people out there. Yeah, nobody would have seen me. There's no grand
stands at that hole, at that tea box, there's no But you know,
the tournament hadn't started. Then we have a professional sporting that it happened.
It could be different today. It could be different today. It will
be very different today. There will be more people, there will be TV
cameras, there will be the security. Well, yes, there will be
tons of security, but I don't I don't know that it'll stop you from
where you're walking up to from getting onto the court. Yeah, I mean,
it's just like this. It's like isolated out there. It's like there's
nothing there. Just happened to be one dude at the water in the box.
What what is the first tee off. Okay, so you do you
have is it fifty five minutes on the button? Okay? San Antonio,
Man, do you do you have a plan to do some pre recon like
to maybe go out there thirty minutes early to kind of just set check.
You know that you are talking about nine o'clock. I playing on being on
the course by like, I don't know it's thirty that's a good idea.
Yeah, you know. No, no, I'm gonna have to walk around.
I'm have to walk. Do you want to hear him going through the
woods? Yeah? I kind of. Do you want to hear the when
you breach? Yeah, like I don't. We don't need a golf course
car correspondent and I came up on the other side. I was like,
it was like, look, did you see the picture? Yeah, you
just talked about it. What is the distance you would say from when you
when you start the entering into the wooded area to the time you emerge to
the other side. What would you say? I thought I had about one
hundred feet, but I think it was more like two hundred feet. Okay,
that's a good thick strip of woods. We ideally fig it was pretty
stife. But then I found a path half way through. I found a
path that went right up to that tea box. Ideally, san Antonio,
man, we want to have you call in while your health heals on.
You don't put it out your name, name, God, what are you
trying to do. We're trying to keep our hands killing off of your actions.
The more information you give us it implicates us. Yeah, I remember,
Okay, I'm my bad. And one of our strategies yesterday was if
you get in a pinch, just be on your phone and keep talking.
And I have a feeling that's not going to be a problem for you.
San Antonio man, I'm pretty confident, but are all going to build me
out if something happens. Is a downbeat going to step up? Your phone
connection is not very good. This might be a problem to the interview writer.
Keep coming in and coming out. You are way down in San Antonio.
So ideally you're on the phone with us boots on your property, and
then we hear, yeah, you're going through the wood. You're risking it
all you emerge. I'm doing that. That's what we want live on the
phone. I don't need you like, hey, I'm holding over number seven.
I've always wanted to be a field reporter. Okay, well, today's
your day, man, this is your morning. You're gonna have to whisper
or not whisper. You're to talk quietly. If you're talking to people's backswings,
you're going to draw attention to what earlier we're going to have When you'll
call me later, We're gonna have to, you know, whisper a little
bit. And fifteen is a good area probably to be. I think for
when homa or more b K, where do I need to be at?
What time do I need to be there? Do you Well, we'll call
you at nine, So just be in the woods at nine looking at the
the point we want to We want you live at nine. We're not doing
live ticker reports from the village. Yeah, we don't care about this stupid
golf tournament. We care about you traversing. We need to hear you going
through the woods and describing your experience to us beneath your g I'm gonna take
a video that's not gonna help our listeners. No, this this is this
is this is fun. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I get
it all right, San Antonio, Man hear me out for a minute.
So you be in the woods at nine, JJ will call you okay,
in the woods, Okay. Then when you walk onto the course, that's
around the time that you should be getting on and we will do that live
on the air. Okay, when you walk onto the course, when you
emerge, when you emerge from the woods, and then you will join up.
And it was heavenly yesterday when I walked up, came out of the
woods, went up this hill and all of a sudden, I'm on this
tea box and it got that big balaro open sign right there that I say
you a picture. Yeah, I mean, it was like, we gotta,
we gotta, we gotta hurry. We're gonna be like what do you
know what Max Homa and Colin Morricle will look like. No, I'm I
know who Tiger Woods is. Okay, there will be signs describe what you
think. Colin Morricle fifty three, I don't I don't know who all the
young players are. Okay, all right, you know that what we're doing
right, you know when we're calling you know, I just need to know
when I get on there where what where do I need to hit? Just
listen to our instructions. We will walk you through day. We'll give you
Okay, stand by for further instructions. Maybe look up the images of Morikawa
and Homa, just so you kind of have a general idea of who your
victims are. Jesus, we'll figure it out. And just to be clear,
san Antonio man, we want you to do absolutely nothing that would impede
the golf tournament in any way. Nothing wild, No, we're nothing.
I'm not going to do anything stupid, okay, stupid, okay, right,
just the trusty. I'm a little crazy, but I'm not stupid.
That's our guy, that's san Antonio. I'm not gonna I'm not going to
walk out across the fairway or yeah, okay, I think I can get
you on TV. Yeah, that's face two. That's face two. I
think we can get you on TV. That would be awesome. All right.
Figure out who the featured groups are. Do you have a cowboy hat
or anything? Group is home of more Kawa, helmet loud? Sure like
a golfer. Okay, that's good. All right, we gotta go,
san Antonio man, drink a few more cups of coffee. Man, we
need to get you fired up for this. Don't fall asleep, bro walking
on. Hi Man, okay, all right, thank you, SA Man.
Com down, this is happening. Calm down, all right, Ce
say calm down. Okay, now, don't tell me what to do,
san Antonio. Man, all right, there he goes. He's ready to
around. Coming up next. Do you guys know what the Super League is?
You're about to find out