You start to question knowledge, all the crap you've been told. You strive
to get the word out about things, maybe a little of bad singer chat
un till it's common place. Because it's the unknown where the mysteries grow in
the unknown, lots of GMOs. It's the unknown where the cryptics go on
the show blurry photos, blurry photos, which the unknown, whether maybe ghosts
in the unknown, facts are scants at most in the unknown, you go
sexy hosts on the show weak blurry photos. Ordinary living is like being asleep.
Ordinary people might as well be sheet treating next to learning, like it's
eating the turn. Staying nice and ignorant as much Brave Ferd and that we
yes him blindly makes us corporate pause and seeing such corruption that we just ignore,
And what can we do differently to lift this curse and keep it off
for getting worse. You seek out the unknown, where vibrations are raised.
Unknown paranormal is praised in the unknown, where you'll be amazed by the show.
Blurry Photoevoto, blurry photo photo, blurry photo photos, blurry photoad.
Since Great School, I've been so brain dead now I question what I have
read and what all my teachers have said, I've been misled, So we
started doing a podcast to teach and have fun. Blurry photos we'll blow you
might help you foster a sense of intense common sense. Let you explore we're
stuff your lord because you can come seek thee unknown puns and listener mail in
thee unknown, harmonizing fail it's the unknown, just e mail stacko and deflow
oh bluryfoet, creepy stories that you really got a hear, Ryptic contests that
you really gotta hear, candy mouth songs you won't really want to hear.
Never let us record after three beers English accents that you were really Goda here,
unknovet EVPs you a killing Goda here, unrazy interests that you really got
as we know soon tell ken it hight to come back here. Illuminati says,
you really gotta hear Undimmi boxes won't really be welcome here from heaven and
help to get blurry foe. Leave good ratings and five starts for blurryfot.
I'm going to Facebook and my capage blurryfot. I'm gotta stumble upon us to
blurry bote. I'm listening. We hope you like every photo food mus stacko.
Oh rap, Yeah, that is musical page entry. I hope you
guys like Little Shop of Horrors, one of the lesser known musicals. But
king awesome. Yeah yeah, pretty legit in its own right. Everybody,
welcome to Blurry Photos Musical Show. I'm David Flora. I'm David Stecco.
The hardest thing about singing that entirely is one recording. Yeah, you have
to get like some tu vun voice, you know, harmonizing so that you're
like singing and then you sing the other part at the same time. We're
really good about that. We're very good about that. I'm not yeah,
not so much. Not some um okay, full disclosure. That took us
like three takes before we could just sing every part of the song simultaneously all
the way through. But yeah, and sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh who are you apologizing to? Well, I mean everybody, anybody who
who who listens to the podcast listen. We we know we can't sing,
yeah, I know, we we We're not trying to sell a product with
our voice, well, not not that way anyway. We sing because it's
fun to do. Yeah. And I was once told that the single best
way to spread Christmas treer is to sing loud for all to hear. Well,
I'm I don't know about Christmas. Yes, we'll keep doing it well
after Christmas. Yeah, because it's fun to do musical intros. And now
I'm not saying that's going to happen every time. That's a lot of work.
Actually, it may not seem like it. It's definitely late night karaoke.
Oh may the best kryo. But that's that's how we're gonna roll sometimes.
So if you don't like it, sorry, fast forward a few minutes
until we start BLib blabbing. That's right, like this sucker, get it
anyway, stare go, How you been good? Good man? I'm I
am diving headlong into the holiday season. Oh I'm I'm a yule fool man.
I loves me some Christmas. I was able to give a friend of
mine a speech about the meaning of Christmas for real, but like like a
legitimate speech about it. Did um did? Whose joint hands around you?
They should have? It was I couldn't believe it was coming out of my
own mouth. No, he's uh, he's he's super busy. His wife
is a doctor. She's doing a trauma rotation for like the whole month,
so like she's never home and he's like, yeah, we're just skipping Christmas.
And I was like, no, man, no, no, double
down. Yeah. I was like, dude, Christmas is just like a
cup of peppermint hot coco for your wife in the morning. That's it.
That's all you got to do. Like, Christmas is not is not huge
magnificent acts. It's tiny little decisions made to make other people's lives better.
Man, That's what Christmas is. I mean that that was actually an exerpt
of the speech that I gave it. Wow, so stirring. Yeah.
So yeah, that's there you go. I'm into Christmas. Nice who knows
it. I actually I actually put up a tree this year. It's the
first time I've put up a tree in a long time. So I've got
a festive little place, little little corner of the new apartment that's decked out.
Oh man, the future home of blurry photos. I mean, I
looked out the window the other night and I was like, I do not
want to go out there. I see. I'm I'm in a win win
situation. The longer you take to unpack those boxes, the longer this podcast
stays here. But the sooner we get to broadcasting from your apartment, the
sooner I have the guilt of doing nothing lifted ever so incrementally from my shoulder.
I don't know, man, we'll see if it works out. I
think that there's a family with a child moving in underneath us, and that
will put a penny on the old rails for sure. But I don't know.
Maybe we could um scare them Scooby Doo style. Maybe we could create
EVPs. I mean, we're pretty good with your cult. We could scooby
do them out of that house. You can hear through the events pretty well
already that that would be fun. Yeah, that would be fun. Terrifying
strangers. All of this has nothing to do with what we're talking about tonight.
Oh man, Actually nobody actually, Okay, one person because we are
doing a listener request tonight, and a great listener request. It was only
one person knows what we're gonna do. And it's such a cool idea.
It's so cool, and at first we were kind of like, oh,
that's that's neat, But I don't think there's it's got much much to it.
Yeah, that seems like there's that's all bones and no meat. Yeah,
wrong, false, This is an acoustic pork. Motherfucker's been slow roasting
on our crock pot of mystery all day. Flora, tell them what they've
won, well, Dave, tonight we're talking about crypto botany. Yeah,
crypto biology. We cover that all the whoa, that's right, botany.
Oh unknown plants gidding, mysterious or otherwise plants in this the dead of winter.
Blurry photos explores their green thumb. My mountain dew is paying off.
Yeah, I chugged a ton of mountain dew. I was really tired,
and I jugged like a huge amount of mountains paying dividends right now. You're
welcome a murder. I deliberately limit the amount of caffe and I have access
to for this precise reason. So I need to I need to to figure
out what my button is. Yeah. Mine, Mine's awesome. I was
able to do that. So uh yeah, yeah, man, very verdant
subject. Tonight we'll plan a little seed of right, we'll see what what
grows out of it. Okay, that all right, but for for reals,
uh, we started looking at this stuff and it was it's really interesting
because the I'm really trying not to use metaphors and ponds right now, but
the more we dug through this, the more came out of it, then
the deeper its roots. Man, I hate this. Everyone's gonna be like,
Okay, we fucking get it, you too, but seriously, this,
I mean, yeah, it is. It is what it is,
and there's that's how we're going to describe it. So that it kept giving
us more stuff to to talk about it. And there's, uh, there's
gonna be some sophish choices along the way here. We're not going to talk
about every single thing, but tonight we hope to cover what cryptobotany is and
what kind of plants hitherto unfound or unknown yeah, that are out there,
and we're going to delve into some myths and legends. That's always fun,
and then we'll try to hit some some stuff that can get themselves out of
the myth and legend bucket into your own backyard. Yeah, they're they're reported
as as real, but then there are some that may even be real.
Some of that might not even be boo, So uh, let's dive into
this. You want to start Flora, Well, let's go. Let's talk
about what cryptobotany is okay to set the old table of numi. Christmas goodness,
holidays, holiday goodness are offended. You should be well this year,
um thanksgiving. God to just take a giant bite out of honaka. So
I don't know what's left ironic. So, just as cryptos zoology is the
study of hidden creatures, yeah, cryptobotany study of unknown hidden plants. That's
pretty straightforward. Yeah, crypto meaning weird, botany meaning plantsy. Yes,
I read the encyclopedia. I'm a genius, the Canadian Encyclopedia. There are
plenty of places on Earth that are still unexplored and untamed, most of which
are perfect places for unknown plant life to thrive. Yeah, like your jungles
rainforests, classic modern crypto biology hotspots, nip jungles. These are plants which
exist in stories, in myths, in legends, and they're generally not believed
to actually exist. There are new species that are being discovered all the time
every day, and general notions have been challenged about whether or not some species
of plants do exist have existed. I don't know if there's a huge difference
here. I mean, there are crypto biologists and these are not guys that
are out hunt and squatch, right, These are people who are like,
no, there's been some some reportings of a of a of a large deer
species in Vietnam. So we're mounting an expedition and oh look, we found
some pelts, we found some skeletons, and we got a photo of one.
Yeah, those kind of things. The copy yeah exactly. Yeah,
didn't I do something to one of those rod through? I did ride one
through through Uganda, um oh copy. Yeah. But I don't believe that
there is an actual crypto botanist out in the field that's doing like university work
of a more of a regular sort. I guess I'm doing a bad job
of explaining it, but I think that's just botany in general. There is
always the opportunity to identify new plant species, and they're doing that. They're
doing an incredible job of it. Yeah yeah, And so I think I
think this is kind of one of those things where it's not there isn't a
direct equivalency. I think that there is a real difference saying between say,
cryptobotany and you're just run of the mill botany true and anybody who would fancy
themselves a cryptobotanist. I think that would be a job b for them.
Well yeah, and they're probably also just saying that to get laid, you
know at the sports bar. Yep, do you see the score of the
Bears game? And also that plant that can eat you? That's right,
classic line the answers no. Um. There are a couple of note that
that have made a name for themselves in the field, though, including the
British Carl Shooker and the late check cryptozoologist Ivan Mackerel. I mean, well,
come on, floor, I don't just go for the ones everybody knows,
go for some deep cuts. I think we I mean everyone knows Mackerel.
I mean we We've mentioned Mackerel before because he's the dude that was searching
for Mongolian death worm, that's right, and which actually weirdly came up in
a lot of our research for this. Yeah. Yeah, maybe maybe because
of him, but that death worm, you know, come up out of
nowhere. He really will get you, shocking, shocking, um, God,
let us die. But that that's that's who is has been looking at
stuff. That's a couple of the names making a name. Yeah, let's
let's dive in and start talking about Uh, let's start listing off some crazy
motherfucking plants. I mean, we're we're gonna we're gonna go through a hefty
list. Yeah, and we're gonna start in the world of myths and legends
and and end up in the world of maybe not miss legends. It's a
short trip but with a lot of beautiful scenery. Yeah, you're gonna love
it. We're playing Ario Speedwagon on the reader, so I mean that's I
mean, how many do you want more Ario Speedwagon jams for your road trip
because I've got them? Oh yeah, I do. I heard a found
a friend who damer something to your hombo. I've been missing around great.
By the way, what's the name of your hobo. I don't know how
your hobo got involved in this whole thing, But Mario, I have a
I have a habit speedwagon um where I work at the auction house that um.
Whenever we don't know what to do with something you're seeing Orio Speedwagon,
no, I just say, I don't know, throw it at a hobo
or give it to a hobo, or sell it to a hobo. Those
are my three answers. Super insensitive but I think I think I was misheard
today because I got a look from somebody, and I think that they thought
that I said homo. And then I was like, no, no,
I would never say that. I said hobo. Throw it at a hobo.
And I realized there was no defending anything that I had done. That
I'm just a horrible person and had to take that and move on with my
day. Wow, these are Dave Stecco's problems. These are These are the
slings and arrows that I deal with. Yeah, all right, all right,
road tripping. Let's start the old road trip in myths. I think
I said that, everybody. Let's talk about dry ads. Oh I love
dry ads. You know, they're really good ranged units, but you gotta
have like four of them together in order for them to to defeat um,
the mounted orc units or the spear throwers. Really Warcraft three, you know
it? Oh? I didn't. I played two, and I've played more
Craft, so I haven't. Oh man, it's good world, world of
Warcraft. I mean, but I never played three. Did you just judge
me? No? Okay, because you're trying to relate due, Yes,
all right. Dryads are tree nymphs that are found in Greek mythology, they're
smoking hot. Nymphs are not goddesses, but they are minor nature deities.
They're always female and yes, always smoking hot, and they're associated with a
type of place or a realm. They have like land nymphs, celestial nymphs,
water nymphs, and then they're they're broken down even further than that.
In one of the particular ones is a dryad. Dryads were connected to trees,
and specifically oak trees because the root in Greek means oak. I think
the dry part of dryads, Yeah, yeah, that is the signifier of
the driss sound there without the acids and dry and that the term is used
to generally refer to other tree specific nymphs. So dryad is connected to oak.
But then you've got melia, which were nymphs of the ash tree,
and then you've got epimeliads, which were nymphs of apple trees. These are
also the spirits that you that Jason found protecting the Golden fleece in the story
of Jason and the Golden Fleece. Uh. And then you've got caryodids,
which were nymphs of walnut trees. Now, if you took a humanity's course.
Sometime in your your past learning's you may may have had to do an
entire semester on a dendro anthropomorphization. Right, the caryotids, this is your
porch of maidens. In the Greek sculpture and engineering, there's a there's a
poor which that has columns carved into caryatids. So right, okay, you're
judging me hard. No, I am not judging you. You have completely
blown me out of the water on knowledge right there. I'm not even you
sunk my battleship. Well you sunk it hard. Nah, Nay. Here's
another thing now, even broken down even farther than that. What Hamma dryads
are dryads that are connected to specific trees. Now I don't mean specific as
an oak or ash or walnut. I mean like the tree out on the
corner. There's a dryad that lives in and is connected to that, and
it's called a hamma dryad. Then, So therefore, if you were to
cut the tree down or otherwise harm the tree, the dryad would die or
otherwise get harmed, right as opposed to regular dryads, who they're just two
trees in general. Yeah, they they can turn into trees. They inhabit
trees, but they're freewheeling and love to dance. Their their dancers. They
get they run around. Don't forget that the hammer dryads also smoking hot.
Now here's a well known dryad from Greek mythology, famous dryads from history,
uridacy. This was the wife of Orpheus. Yeah, and she was a
famous dryad who on her wedding day, uh, started getting chased through a
field by a satyr who was oh yeah, trying trying to satisfy his satyrs.
Gonna say, says, gonna say, I'm gonna say. Anyway,
she she's being chased through a field, she steps on a viper and dies.
So again not not goddesses, because they they do have quite more intensity
to die. And this is where you get the myth of Orpheus descending into
the underworld to rescue her because he was so distraught and wanted her back,
and then convinces I'm not gonna tell this story. This is. You go
find the story of ops. This is. It's good. It's a good
story. Anyway. That's a that's a famous dryad. It was considered unlucky
to see one or remain in their company. So that's something. Yeah.
So just when you're walking through the forest, just just don't just o garad,
just see the woods. Yeah. And the Greeks weren't the only ones
to have creatures such as this, nature spirits like rice. You get it
in all kinds of cultures. For instance, the Japanese culture has the kodama.
Yep, that's uh, that's another type of nature spirit true linked to
the trees in the forest, I believe. So the deal with these dryads
again, they could turn into trees or inhabit the trees, nature's spirits protectors.
You're going to see this a lot in myths and legends, you know,
protectors of plants and animals and things like that. So dry ads,
boom boom, dryads. I hope you don't have any more questions about dry
ads because Jesus, what what else can I do for you? In the
same vein here, uh, you get what's called oracular trees. These are
are your run of the mill talking trees. Yeah you know those, Yeah,
you know them? Um. And there you know you see those things.
Um, you to bring uh to kind of bridge The two uh.
Druids were often said to consult with a wise or old oak. Um.
That's that's really common in the mythology of the the British Isles, England,
Ireland. Um, there's a couple of sort of famous, some rock stars.
Yeah, all right, I'll give you some rock stars. How about
the weeping date palm tree. Um. Now, this is actually from is
Lamic tradition, and said that you know, the prophet Muhammad, he used
to lean against a tree while he would deliver his sermons. And when he
moved away from the tree, and they built him a temple elsewhere, not
a temple, but someplace too. Yeah. Right, the tree began to
cry because he wasn't there. So he had to go back to the tree
and kind of calm it down and be like, hey man, it's okay,
I'm still here. That's kind of, I guess, an equivalent of
an Islamic miracle. It was said everyone saw the tree weeping and had to
be consoled by the prophet Muhammed. So that's when your rockstar. Oracular trees
now oracular as the name implies, also were said to if if they would
speak to you, they could tell you the future. They knew things sure,
and so you have them. Not only the tradition of the dryads going
to them, but other people searching out the tree as as a quest,
you know, to get the answer that thereafter. Yeah, and you find
it all over the world. Indian tradition has the trees of Sun and Moon
that they would tell you the future. Classic oracular trees. Um Marco Polo
uh said to have visited it. Alexander the Great went after that tree.
I mean, pretty big deal. Yeah, some wood buying. So yeah,
I mean, and this is uh, this is a it's it's a
common thing in a lot of folklore around the world. Yeah. Um.
Sometimes these trees in Islamic folklore were depicted as gin crazy. Yeah, I
mean, is it is it? Is it? So? Yeah? Oracular
trees. That's a fun mythological now branching out from from trees. I'm gonna
break a bottle over the bridge of your nose. Weirdly specific well, that's
how you sell a thread. Specificity allowed allowed the kind of took me aback.
Allowed the target to fully visualize what you're trying to say. I don't
know if you if you had said I'm going to break this over your face,
that have been like, oh, but where are the Bridge of my
nose. Possibly, I'll never know where. Let's talk about Igdrasil. Oh.
Yeah, world tree, the world tree in Norse mythology. It's a
huge ash tree that links and shelters all the worlds. It's supported by three
roots, one of which goes to Asgard, the home of the gods.
One goes to Yodenheim, the home of the giants. The third goes to
Stark Tower in downtown New York City after the New York incident. None of
us were the same agents of Shoot sucks. Oh no, I haven't seen
it. I don't know. Listen, they're giving agent Coltson a paycheck,
so let's let's not rock the boat. He's been in everyone so far.
I think his paycheck is is doing pretty well. You just never know.
You never know, dude, Yeah, you never know, dude. He
died in a comic book movie. There's no way they could bring him back.
Ever. You should. You should watch an episode or two just to
see what you think. Okay, and then maybe like next week I'll be
like, God have judged this program. Yeah. The third route goes to
Niffelheim, which is the region of ice and coal, dark and mist and
Nastrand the shore of Corpses Gross where the dragon nidhog gnaws on the route.
The third route is the bad road to take it. Clearly, don't don't
go down that route? Um was that route? Or root? Who's doing
it now? He's doing it now. There was a tree located apparently in
what is now the hessoregion of Germany, which was linked by Germanic people's to
igdrasil maybe personification of well digrification and dendro anthropomorphization. Sure of the tree from
mythology here on Earth. It was a large oak tree, not ash.
It was oak, and it was called Donner's oak or Thor's oak or if
you were Roman, Jove's oak, which was sacred and it was cut down,
according to legend, by Boniface, an Anglo Saxon missionary who converted the
locals to Catholicism ass and later became Saint Boniface of of of tree chopping,
Yeah, of ok hatred, All right, Boniface oaks bain. Let's see.
Gosh, these guys they're just not taken to Catholicism. What can I
do to really break their spirits? Hey iced to say, uh, opling
oak tree you're happy to have here. Pity if someone would have come along
and chop it down, Isn't it? Isn't it? Maybe we should all
go to church and pray that it stays nice and safe. Right the name
s Boniface, come with me. Yeah, so Dick, a very big
collective. Nine went up from the from the locals, and then they started
worshiping Jesus. Now nine apparently would from the tree was used to build a
church to Saint Peter on the spot where it stood. So there's some salt
in the moon. Yeah. Um, other cultures have world trees. It's
again another thing that you're you're gonna find with these myths and legends. A
lot of them are pretty connected in just the personification of nature. Yeah,
having spirits and like ideas, and one of one of them is this world
tree idea that you find it in a pre Columbian Mesoamerica. Hindu and Buddhist
mythology has an idea of this, and that's called ax sha Vat I believe.
So that's that's your IgG Drazil. Oh, Yeah, really pretty interesting.
Now at the at the top of Igdrasil, they're set an eagle,
an unnamed eagle, and he and the dragon nid hog hated each other,
and apparently the hatred was fueled by a squirrel. I think it was a
squirrel that ran up and down the tree and like, oh, oh gosh,
do you know what that eagle said, here's what he's been saying about
you, nid hog. And then he'd run out, Oh my gosh,
you hear what that nid hog said about you? He say, if he's
such a good eagle, how come nobody knows his name? How come he's
hiding from his own pass? And I said to him, well, he's
never been a he's never been nothing but nice to me. And as an
eagle, he probably shaid eight me years ago. And it's exactly how the
wind couldn't squirrels always caring up shite. I think it was a squirrel.
I could be wrong. It was some kind of roding. I hope it
was a squirrel. But speaking of pan cultural nature entities, let's talk about
the green Man. Oh yeah, green Man. He's a man that's totally
green. But we're not talking about Charlie's outfit that he wears when he needs
to feel safe or do heavy ells. Nigiens Man do you know that.
I heard that reference that song referenced in something else the other day, and
I was like, I know that, but I don't just because of me,
And I was like, why are you singing it that way? It's
night Man or something like that. Anyway, The green Man is a figure
which appears in one way or another in many cultures, I said, throughout
the world, usually depicted in carvings as a semi human face surrounded by leaves.
It's almost like the unseen eye of the forest sort of yeah, and
very German, very popular in Old Germantown, and often the face itself is
just made completely of the leaves. Once you start looking at it, you
notice that the cheeks are leaves, the forehead is a leaf, the chin
leaves, but those teeth are real No, there leaves too. He is
the personification of nature, and while he doesn't represent a deity or spirit in
particular, parallels have been drawn between him and such mythological figures as the Celtic
god Kiernunos, also the Celtic lud and apparently also Osiris odin Tamous, linked
in one way or another two US recently, Jimmy Hendrix even Robin Goodfellow or
Puck in a Midsummer Night's Dream from Shakespeare and uh, the old Robin Hood,
the green Knight who fought Sir Gawayne in the Arthur Tales and Peter Pan
even. Yeah, and you can find architecturally the inclusion of the green man's
face in churches all through Europe, Germany, England, Um, the France.
That it's it's a very common European theme, and it's it's it's very
regularly was included for a number of years in church architecture. Part of that
was how when when they were trying to convert to pagans, Yeah, they
were co opting the the the iconography that was already used, which which served
them pretty well. It seemed like now the color green has pretty much always
represented life in nature, and representations of this type of face, this carving
have been found in many separate cultures as far back as ancient Mesopotamia, which
is about as far back as you can go. Yeah, in old the
old history books. You know, if you want to go further back,
pack a lunch, tell us how it is when you get back, idiot
researchers. So, yeah, green man, he's not messing around much akin
to the old green Man. We get an interesting dude from Slavic myth,
the leshy. Oh he's such is his man lives in the woods. He's
made his bank on face is Leshi is lushy or lessovic. Yeah, this
is the male woodland spirit from Slavic myth. It's it's not one one leshie.
There are multiple leshie Leshi. It's it's called a harrumph of leshie.
A group is a harrumph a conifer of kindling. So the lessies can grow
or shrink in size. And also I think I read they can even shape
shift if they wanted to. They cast no shadow, which is pretty interesting.
Their skin is pale white, they have green eyes, Their hair and
beard are made of living grass, and because their blood is blue, they
have blue cheeks. They also may wear a red scarf, and their shoes
are on opposite feet and uh, you know, speaking of which they're they're
considered by some to be spirits of the woods, by some to be demons
of the woods. But if you run across one, all is not lost.
Yeah. You to thwart leshy, first thing you got to do is
turn all of your clothes inside out and backwards, and then put your shoes
on the wrong feet right, and that, by all, by the many
exhaustively research sources, will make the leshie explode and where he was standing will
be a perfect black forest cake. I made up the last part. But
the clothes inside out. That's how you fight a leshi. Yeah, because
no good. They're they're not evil per se, but they're very mischievous and
they can lead people astray. They can make people sick or the worst of
it, they can tickle people to death. I dare you to try.
Oh god, oh god, No, Yeah, they're they're They are said
to protect the animals and the trees, and they can be befriended for protection
or knowledge, so or for meat. Not not all Crewe wouldn't it,
would it be not meat? I don't know. If they've got blood,
they got meat, That's what I learned in the woods. Maybe it's a
lot of fiber. If it's good blood, he's got meat. It was
our next T shirt bumper stickers doing the follow but they photos. If it's
got blood, it's got neat. I wouldn't feel good putting it on a
bumper sticker without the eyebrow emphasis it goes into saying, yeah, that is
lushy. It's a good guy after all, is me is much Mischief's meg
confused? Why he's close backwards does not make destroy mean volupan make lushy lesh.
Moving on, So those are some pretty popular. Yeah, those dudes
from those are the most ology mythological mythular mithmanman Moving on to the slightly less
confusing Yeah, more potentially potentially still still hobbling around folklore. Yeah, still,
folksy, let's talk about the Aglaia photus. Yeah, say it again
for the folks at home. Aglio potus. Mmmm. This is an herb
used in witchcraft and occultism. Supposedly it's used for warding off demons and black
magic, yeah, and fevers, although it's also described in the necronomic Um
as being used in the evocation of demons or evil spirits. Now, if
you go down to the local store, they're just going to call them peonies.
Yeah, yeah, it is a member of the peony family. But
in interesting that some people say it's it's used against bad stuff. Some people
say it's used for bad stuff. There's there's a divide there. It's just
like a handgun. Yeah, you can use it to to protect, to
throw a burglar, or open a box of chips. I mean it's very
utilitarian. Yeah, however you use it. Yeah, don't take them,
don't take them from it. No, I'd like to take a moment here.
No, No, enough of him month lest Yeah exactly. We're all
full up on you, We're all full up start. No one needs to
blow the lid off anything for a while. Alex, you hack, I
mean we can call him a hack. But that guy is like rolling in
the money of lunatics. We have no lunatic money, none, not.
We don't have a lunatic dime to our names. And that guy is like
in a hot tub. That's just nothing but lunatic money. Yeah, and
lunatic babes. Man always with the lunatuque babes. I don't know about the
babes. Have you seen Alex Jones, dude money? Have you seen Ron
Jeremy the Different? I don't think that's apples to apples, okay, but
Cards against Humanity? Maybe if Alex Jones did meet a lunatic groupie, Hi,
I'm Alex Jones. I'm gonna blow the lid off your panties. I
can't wait for you to infiltrate my bohemian grow. Oh God, too far.
No, it's just uh, Alex Jones will sue us. He's got
nothing better to do anyway. You just can't give him any reason too.
It's mentioned by the Greek doctor. Yeah, what's his name, Diascorides?
Damn it. Maybe you win this round, Flora, but I'll be back.
Who was alive at the time of Nero, and it was mentioned as
again a member of the Peony family. And before him, it was mentioned
by Pliny the Elder or Plenty. I think we just say Plenty we're friends,
who said that it was found growing among the marble quarries of Arabia on
the side of Prusia. It's considered fictional today, however, because I guess
nobody can confind it. Well, things go extinct sometimes, well, or
we rename it and forget that we used to call it. That it happens,
bro, It's right, Get off me. Now, let's talk about
Let's talk about some truly magical herbs. How about the Raskovnik. Yeah,
is such nice? Once again we make you this Slavic is such nice arb?
He magic? He is put on elbow make heart no elbow's fine is
put on badlog is much open. This is a magical herb again, this
one comes from South Slava mythology. South side. A lot of good stuff
from Slavic mythology in this in this one. Nice nice to see. Yeah,
I like the South Slavs. This herb has various magical properties depending on
region, but most commonly, it's able to unlock any lock. Yeah,
how cool is that? Lock lock pick herb? Yeah, brush it across
anything that's locked. Boom, it's open. So unless you're initiated, which
I never found exactly what that meant. Oh, no, you have to
be tonic. And by that. Another pronunciation that I saw was cathonic,
orthonic, orthonic or your air castrado or I hope, I hope we have
some fans of Sea Lab out there. The only reason I know how to
pronounce this is because of the Alvis Day episode of Sea Lab, which is
great. And if you know that episode, then you are a new my
new best friend. All right, crabs screamer. So the term thonic or
cathonic or whatever, how did they go the first sib? Well, it's
right, you don't want to say you don't want to make any emphasis on
anything, right, it's not just get through it was that is that wrong?
Nic I could just keep saying it and everyone's like, Okay, we
get it. Shut the up. It means you're from the underworld. Yeah,
related to the underworld. Well, anyways, it's almost impossible to find
for humans. Even though it's not a rare herb, you just you can't
recognize it. It's sometimes described as resembling a four leaf clover, and some
legends say it could uncover treasure that was buried. Some legends say that it
could transmute lead to gold, and some of them said that it could grant
wealth or desires. So it's kind of a catch all awesome or what kind
of desire. Some of the animals or cathonic animals, tortoises, hedgehogs,
or snakes. Wow, they knew how to find it. Tortoises, Yeah,
I didn't realize that they were so metal. Yeah okay. And and
one way to obtain it, to obtain this herb was by tricking one of
those animals that knew how to find it. Mostly it was from I think
locking up their young. It's not really a trick, yeah, it's just
a dick move, just kidnapping. It's extortion. And they run off and
find a raskovnik and oh to open the cage. Although the hedgehogs you had
to be quick called like swallow it. They just they just gobble it up
once they unlocked that lock. That's because they're little hogs, like little piglets.
They're little hogs, live in a hedge and they know the underworld.
Yeah, should lee. So that's that's riskovnik. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
That's pretty legit. How about the vegetable lamb of tartary Man. Anything
that has like that elaborated name is just a giant sack of bosh. Now
that I've judged it, Yeah, now let's talk about it. Say weirdly
judgment tonight. Yeah. I didn't leave saying that thing at the beginning of
this. We're really judgments, right. This is a plant of Central Asia
that was at one time believed to grow sheep. It's fruit. The sheep
were connected by stems from the ground and they would eat the vegetation around the
stem. Now, once the vegetation had been eaten, or if the lamb
became separated from that stem, it would die. That's such a weird thing.
It could then be eaten, and apparently it's blood tasted like sweet sweet.
But other than that was a completely legitimate lamb with meat and woolood because
it had blood, so it had meat. It established that bones and whatnot.
It was. It was a lamb that just grew from a plant.
Yeah. Some regions believed it was alive and had real blood and bones and
meat, and some say it was just a fruit, just a fruit of
this plant that just happened to resemble a sheep and eat the grass around it
and provide a good woolf for clothing which was actually made from it. Huh,
well, lady, go, what a what an awfully nice plant.
It was mentioned as far back as four thirty six CE in Jewish folklore,
and in that it was called the YadA. All evidence of it just throwing
its hat in the ring of everything else we talk about. All evidence is
anecdotal. Oh what. And it's believed it may have just been how the
locals explained cotton. Yeah, that'll do it. Because they had sheep,
they had wool and cottons full of meat. It's just meat. It was
also known as the boro mats. Also the shui yang or water sheep in
China. Yeah, now the Chinese version of it that they also called the
wooly fern. And apparently this this is close to what this is anyway,
because with that the fruit of it, if you opened it, took the
rhizome out of it, yep, and reversed it. Apparently it looked like
a sheep with its legs sticking up in the air. Now it's hard to
picture that, I think, without no one exactly without having done it yourself,
I said, botanists r zome help us out. I sure I could
google it, but I'd rather hear it from the horse's mouth. I remember,
we're going through fields near the house I grew up in and running into
these pods that had if you opened them up, it was real stringy stuff
with seeds. Milkweed. Yeah, milkweed. Yeah, that knows me some
milkweed. Doesn't this sound sort of like that? Yeah, I don't know.
I don't think people are making hats from milkweed. But but dude,
you need to spend more time out in the woods then. But my milkweed
hat is my favorite hat. Weird if you're so tough, Yeah, what's
you're wear it? It's ten degrees outside right now? Yeah? Hey,
you remember when we were pitching about it being so hot. Yeah, that's
over. He likes it cold here. We're getting it in speeds to m
Bring on the cold. I want, I want an Arctic waste land.
It will never be it will never be cold waste. It'll never be cold
enough for me. Ever. Yeah, you you were in Antarctica for six
months, I know, didn't get it, get your didn't get your fill?
Nope, I sleep on a giant otter. Pop. All right,
so we got to let vegilimb. How about about the fern flower? Yeah,
fern flowers are cool again Slavic mythology. It's such nice now, ferns.
I don't know if you knew this or not. Ferns aren't flowering plants.
Shut up, no, dude, So a fern flower must be a
very rare thing. Indeed, indeed, for a short time on the eve
of the summer solstice, one lucky has a chance to find a flower blooming
on a fern in the forest. What does he get, Well, it's
magical and brings fortune luck or is my favorite the ability to understand animal speech?
Nice? That's pretty good power. Huh. You know what I like
about this U is the way that they do it in some traditions is during
the night of the solstice, young couples will go off into the woods quote
unquote seeking the fern flower. Oh, they're gonna so sad. Seriously,
they go into the woods to have sex. Yeah, it blooms golden and
glowing until dawn, and apparently only the courageous can find it. But here's
the catch. Sharing the wealth that it brings makes you lose everything, So
you just have to keep it all. You have to keep it all.
Now. I read a fairy tale about this, about a boy who finds
the fern flower. He gets a mass of wealth good on him and so
far, so good, but he can't share it with his family. Oh,
little nickel, why why you have to keep all of these wealthful of
you. No, he's not such big thing. Give to me something.
And he turns into a stone cold asshole because everything's too about himself. Yeah,
if he wants to keep it, And he keeps going back to his
old house, and every time he goes back, his family's in worse condition.
And finally he goes back and they're not there anymore, and apparently they've
all starved and and you know, horrible times. And he realizes that the
true treasure House's fine, he can go right back to it. Yeah,
apparently it's a it's the old morality tale. So so so don't joul.
You can seek the ferd and flower if you're just going into the woods for
some sex with a local friend, or if you had no family you're out
on the street alone. Yeah, you already hate everybody. If you're going
to be a hermit, look for that flower. Yeah, be a rich
hermit, the bravest hermit. I know the new Disney movie. That's right,
all right, So that's the fern flower. Yeah, how about a
gin minjew Watch your language. This is a creepy one. It's it's a
legendary type of tree that grows in remote mountain valleys in southern China. Oh
yeah, hey, do you want to take a bite of that ginmnjew apple?
Yeah you should, because the fruit, called jin minchi appear to be
human heads. But here's a good thing. They're always smiling and laughing.
Hurts is Apparently the fruit is very sweet and sour. What if you get
what I read that. I am not I'm not being an asshole here.
Yeah it is there, I see it. Does that mean that you could
make out with it as you eat it? Or before you eat it?
I don't know, why would your mind go there? Its mouth? Dude,
it's a huge just said, it's a human head. You can make
out with a human head. Why didn't your mind to go there? That's
why didn't you wonder if you could make out with an apple before you ate
it? Yeah? You're right, jeez, I hope you feel stupid,
right, Yeah, I hope you feel like a real choice. Ask nothing,
nothing too much about this besides the legends of it and that it's it's
creepy. But at least they're just laughing. So that's the gin minjew.
All right, all right, you think you're so cool with your tree full
of heads? Yeah, what about I throw some wool ami up in your
face? I'll make you out with it? Is that the right answer?
Well, at least you're considering it, Okay, at least it's crossing your
mind now, So my time here's not wasted? Well, LIMI uh,
this is a cool one. This is one of those that straddles the line
because it's actually real. What now real threatened? This is not anything out
of folklore, but it is out of the fossil record. Blast from the
past, bro living fossils. This is a coniferous evergreen tree only known through
fossil records until nineteen ninety four when an Australian bloke named David Noble he could
just be a guy. He's only a bloke because he's Australian discovered discovered a
patch of them in a remote area of the Wollemi National Park. It's part
of a species in a family of this type of tree that is two hundred
million years old. What the last known fossils of this genus of this tree
two million years old. So that's the last time one of these things was
thought to be alive on Earth. Wow, two million years ago and the
whole family two hundred million years old. So this is a pretty big deal.
Have you heard of that fish they discovered? Oh, the Celia camp
said off the top of his head, Yeah, I have heard of it,
maybe off the coast of Matta Gascar. Oh, I don't know.
I like it when you don't know stuff, man, Well that's because that's
why you like me. More often than not. For the most part,
I don't know stuff. Yeah, tell us about that that thing. Do
you mean the Ceili canth Toyota's release production car from nineteen eighty three. Yeah,
yeah, that's what I'm asking about. Scrapped in favor of the camera.
Good choice, Toyota. Yeah, the Ceila canth. The same thing
was not known except for fossils, and then some fishermen hauls one up.
Everyone everyone gets the gigantic living fossil bone. Yeah, pretty cool. I
think people are doing their best to get rid of it. Still. Yeah,
it's yeah, it's a persistent it's it's in excess of four hours.
Everyone should be contacting doctors. Very much endangered obviously. Yeah, And it's
like the minute you say that to people, they immediately want to go out
and kill these things. Oh yeah, you know. Um, there was
a time when there was a species of sea lion that was thought to be
extinct in the late eighteen hundreds early nineteen hundreds. This is the most vague
story. Sorry, I don't know any details, but a ship found an
island covered in these things. They're like, holy crap, they're not extinct.
Kill half of them so we can put them in museums and fortunately it
came back. But yeah, like they're they're instinct right off the like,
yeah, kill half of them, so so dumb idiots. So anyways,
um those are that's that's some examples of coming back from the from the brink
of death basically or extinction. That's such a cool story. It doesn't have
to grant wishes to be interesting. That's what I thought. Yeah, that's
why I wanted to throw it out there, and who knows what else is
out there in the same shape, because this was in such a bump area
of this park that this David Noble was such a badass. He was bush
whacking out there and just kind of noticed that these were not normal looking trees.
They're not something that he recognized. So he killed half of them and
took their pelts from me. So he did exactly what somebody should do.
Like it was real lucky that he happened upon them because he knew exactly what
to do. He got a little bit of his sample, but he went
back and was like, can you test this, you know, and see
what the deal is with this because it doesn't look normal. It was like
the perfect way to discover an extinct thing that was alive again, So good
on mister Noble for that. But I'm sure that the rainforest has a ton
of play the rainforest as if there's just you know, rainforests on Earth have
a ton of the stuff that's probably getting plowed away. Man, you know
what I mean? Like, yeah, all kinds of stuff is getting and
it's and this is a this is a particular tree, this will Limia has
already danced with the devil. They did genetic testing and all of the trees
are identical. Yeah, meaning that. I mean, obviously they have a
lot more research should do on it. But what they think is that this,
this particular stand got brought all the way down to one or two individuals
and then came back again. Adam and eved it. M m. This
is this is the Adam and Eve of trees. That's right. So this
is like Adam and leaves? Is that? How's that for your crappy It
don't count pun It's pretty good, yeah, I thought so. I was
pretty proud of myself. It's pretty damnably gonna do a victory lap around the
house. Moving on, moving on, Well, let's let's move away from
helpful plants or or interesting non invasive plants. Let's go to some harmful plants.
Yeah, how about the plants that are trying to suck my ship?
How about him? Let's start with the old man Drake, Man Drake.
Oh, thank you, I'm learning. Uh. This is a plant that's
featured in spells and rituals. Oh yeah, it's got some Bible in it.
It's It's also mentioned in the Bible. The whole thing's poisonous except for
the fruit, and it contains a ton of chemicals, some of which are
hallucinogenic and even deadly. Yep. In the Bible in Genesis chapter thirty,
there's a there's it's it's a pretty funny story of I'll try and give you
a real brief overview. Jacob's son Ruben, and he found the man Drake
in the field, took it back and Rachel, who was Jacob's second wife,
after leahy Bible, she wants it to chase Bible cut to the chase.
She wants it and bargains for it with Leah to have Leah sleep in
Jacob's bed, Leah the ex wife, to sleep with Jacob. Right,
get it, and and then she would give Rachel the plant the mandrake.
Yeah, so that deal gets done. Jacob's like, hey when when bra
Yeah, and then Leah gets preggers, has three more kids. Apparently is
supposed to be barren, but then has three more kids. Um and so.
But because of this, it was kind of considered to be helpful for
fertility. Yep. It loosely resembles a human with the roots yep, which
is kind of funny. I guess it's like the little legs. Yeah,
but when it's dug up, legend says it's screams and all who hear the
scream will die. Yeah, murder sound. And it's said that demons cannot
bear its smell or its presence. It's just kind of like as garlic is
to vampires, mandrake is to demons. Good get us some mandrake, Like
go to the star? Why all right? Oh on, bandike. So
that's that's your man Drake. That's a bit, that's a pretty, that's
a that's a that's a rock star of the crypto botany world. Everyone's heard
a man. I mean, it's got a big chunk in the Harry Potter
movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Any any witchcraft thing. I think
only never long Bottom knows how to deal with him. Too bad? He
dies? Oh whoops, don't you dare? Everyone's like he turns though he
went from zero to hero. Mama like me ow, that's what happens.
That's how that turned out. Man Drake is an actual thing. It's not.
It's not like something that's not able to be found. I'm sorry what,
Man Drake's a real thing? But hold on? Are you implying that
the Harry Potter movies are not a documentary? Watch yourself, but beIN nice
bro sif thin. I'm treading fearfully carefully here. Hey, yeah, I
think the most popular thing that's known about them is the screaming yeah and the
death. And I've even heard I think madness can rest death screen madness.
But that's not the only plant that's looking to whoop your ass? What else
is hungry grass? Whoop your ass? Brought you by the National Here Grass
Council, Hungry grass. Certain patches of land in Irish mythology, Hey Ireland,
good to see you again, where if a traveler passed over them,
these patches of land, they would suffer from uncontrollable pangs of hunger. And
they would die without immediate help. Yeah, it's possibly planted by mischievous fairies.
So how do you deal with this stuff? Well, you walk around
with some crackers in your pocket and possibly beer beer helps. There you go.
Yep, that's the only way to say, say, if you're going
to travel to this countryside, take this beer with you and maybe all we
snack in your bocket. That's adorable. That's that's a great that's a great
commercial, though. Crop I've stepped on some hungry grass. Good thing,
I have this guinnis with me, me life. It's saved Hi tanks to
gunnis drink gunnis gunnis gunnisis. Oh and in case all your douchebag friends who
did a semester abroad haven't told you, it tastes different hair top drink.
It's warm. Yeah, so that's hungry grass. Yeah. Fun. Do
you have you ever? Do you think there's any plants with really difficult to
pronounce names left? I got one? Oh? Yeah, what's that?
The umdalibi? Oh maybe that's how it's pronounced. This is a species of
tree said to exist in Zululand, South Africa, described thus like delicate green
leaves, a dead outer bark layer and a living bark layer beneath oooh,
and it has red and black fruit. Apparently it grows in rocky terrain,
although the ground around it is lush and scattered with skeletons of what well.
According to the best two sources that we have and probably the only two sources,
and these sources are stories collected by Henry Callaway and a report by GW.
Parker, who are both missionaries. I believe in the nineteenth century the
tree is toxic, causing death to any living thing that gets near it,
maybe by some kind of poison cloud or spore cloud or something, or maybe
I don't know. I'm just I'm spitballing here. Carbonic acid gas strangely specific
from our boy Parker. It also has a caustic fluid in it, so
if if somehow the bark was split open or cut into, then this caustic
fluid would flow out. Well. No specimen has been found to date,
unfortunately, ohomp lump oh murder trees. This is similar to the bohon upas
in Malay. I think everyone knows everything they need to about the boos um.
That's a Malaysian tree. That's that's pretty much just like this, I
guess murder tree. So that's that's a murder tree. How about the vampire
vine aka the Devil's snare. I thought you were gonna stay devil's lattice,
and I said, sorry, we'd already owns that. Uh. This is
a supposed network of roots and vines which entangles its prey and uses thousands of
little suckers to drain the blood. Sweet. Yeah, only it's completely fictitious.
Ah man, sorry, bro. Now there is a parasitic plant called
kascuta or daughter, which uses thin stems to wrap around other plants and then
feed off of those plants. That's also called strangleweed or devil's guts or Which's
hair or hill bine or any number of other folksy names that it could go
under. The idea of this is kind of similar to what you would find
if you looked up the man eating tree of Nubia. Oh yeah, more
murder trees. Yeah, look out, don't get murdered. And speaking of
more murder trees, the yatte veo. Yeah, this is a carnivorous plant,
not a kia car no. No, this is a carnivorous plant which
in central and South America. It's reported as having a short, thick trunk
and long tendril like stems used to catch prey, and by prey we mean
hikers. Some accounts say that it's trunk opens like a horrific mall to swallow
victims. Now. It may have leaves which apparently are just camouflage. They
don't actually serve a purpose, and it hides and blends in so well with
other stuff around it that by the time you recognize it, it's too late.
And it is your ass, which which makes its namesake yat veo,
which in Spanish means I see you, Oh creeper, Yeah, makes that
stand out? Man? Oh you think that's it? Dude? No,
yes, I did think that was it. How about the Madagascar man eating
tree. Oh that's from Madagascar. Yeah. This is reported by a German
explorer named Carl Leish in papers in eighteen seventy four, who apparently witnessed the
Makodo tribe ritualistically sacrificing a woman to this tree so his accounts. His account
says it stood eight feet high, had leaves that were twelve feet long,
tapering to sharp points. It had a plate like appendage on the top of
the thick conical trunk, which held a clear honey suite violently intoxicating liquid,
under which protruded long, green, hairy tentacles that were eight feet long,
and then around the plate six transparent tentacles five foot tall, stood straight up
and twisted with constant movement. Yeah. Now this was so fascinating that the
Michigan governor Chase Osborne went in search of it in the nineteen twenties and apparently
only found tales of it from the locals. Oh no way, yeah sorry,
bro, They're like, oh yeah, we just did like this,
this this giant, really crazy sacrifice. You missed it thought so over.
Now you can't even find it anymore. We have to go now. The
original story of it was pretty unanimously considered fabrication, completely made up. Yea,
even the figure of Carl Leish himself may have been made up. And
another thing that makes this particular crazy cryptied plant unlikely is its collection of specialized
structural features that it has. Having this plate like structure with intoxicating liquid,
having all this tentacle it sounds like leaves. Yeah, like the intoxicating liquid.
I mean, I you know, the guy's making it up. But
you know, like he's listing off what a plant? Who did that would
require? Yeah? You know, like, oh, you come in,
I'm offering you what seems to be a food source. It incapacitates you,
the tendril's Japanese tentacle pouring you and boom, that's dinner. Yeah. So
apparently people have people who know what they're talking about, have been like,
well, maybe a plant has one of these, maybe two, but why
would it need all of the all of them? You know, from an
evolution standpoint, it would be pointless. You know, you would only just
evolve one thing that would help. Yep. Anyway, our friend Ivan mackerel
sought it. He that was that was another thing besides the old Mongolian death
worm. He went in search of this Madagascar tree and I don't think he
was successful, but I'm sure, but no one never heard from him again.
So that's not at all what happened. But it'd be cool if it
was. Yeah, except for his for his family, they would not like
that outcome. So that's your dude. Yeah, crypto bot, how did
that feel? You haven't heard a show on that? Promise you you do
get some real plants that are plenty weird yeah out there. I mean everybody
knows the old venus flytrap that's in the picture plant or the nepenthes. Oh,
yeah, that's those are cool though. Those are plants that basically they're
the flower of It is a shaped like a picture or to me, it
looks kind of like a stomach, Yeah, like an elongated stomach and filled
with sweet smelling liquid that draws in insects. Yeah, usually insects, maybe
an occasional rodent maybe maybe, but they fall in and they smell rots of
the drawing flies. Yeah, and and they they fall in this picture and
then the sides are slippery so they can't get back out, and then there's
liquid at the bottom of them that digests and then its it stays. So
that's that's a picture plant um a plant called the yellow trumpet, which is
similar. It lures in prey, mostly insects, with the nectar, which
then paralyzes the insect, so the nectar itself is dunward work. And the
sundu plant, which also lures with with nice smelling nectar and then when the
insect gets there, it wraps these hair like appendages around it and suffocates the
insect and then gets its taste. I mean it's possible that in some of
these remote places these things grow huge. Yeah, you know, but but
there there there are means of subduing prey are very very passive. The yeah,
yeah, yeah, they're they're passive, and they have evolved to be
very specific in how they do it. Yeah, so it requires very few
moving parts. Yeah. Even even the Venis flytrap kind of relies on more
of an engineering trick. There's no musculature, you know, in a plant.
You have to always keep that in mind, like, there's there's nothing
to make them whip around like that. And so there's when you see plants
that do have a physical reaction, there's usually more of an engineering trick.
There's a lot of energy to positive that just gets released once. Yeah that
yeah, that has to reset. Yeah, and then that takes a very
very long time for it to reset. Yeah. And some of the stuff
that we're talking about that's out of legend and lore. It gives the plant
a sentience that just motivation. Yeah that to date, no one has ever
experienced on record. You know, there's something else that human kind may never
never experienced to date. Oh yeah, it's something that doesn't require musculature.
No, no, it's just require tricks with a huge, an enormously long
reset cycle. Oh with that, that's right. Uh now, Flora,
I asked you last week. You went first because you claimed it, and
you shafted me. You're not getting that chance twice. I'm leading this thing
off. All right, let's see what you got well. First is that
um turns out the dry Ads not only like to sing, but some of
the Dryads, particularly the Dryads that were just associated with one tree, also
like to wrap. Oh yeah, and their first album was entitled Please Hamma
Don't hurt elm. Okay, it was an mc hammer joke because mc hammer
said, please Hammer, don't hurt them. Oh there, Hamma dry Ads.
Yeah, please Hamma don't hurt Elm. Will you did a steal mine?
I didn't think I did. That's the rich sound of a bunt mother
lecas. This bitch is on base. All right, All right, let's
see here. I've got a restaurant that specializes in uh breakfast. Breakfast that
that's from you know, you can get them from different cultures around the world.
Oh delicious. It supports your your entire day that's great. Yeah,
I'm excited. You might even have a dragon gnawing on on some of it
under the table. Oh okay, it's called bacon an egg drazil. Oh
god, I smelled that one at the last second. I did. I
got a whiff of it. I got a whiff of it. Yes,
it's good. I've got one, do you? Yeah? Um on Japanese
television show kind of a mash up of genres. Okay, on one hand,
they've got ancient nature spirits, but there it's in a far flung future
where they're trapped out in space living with a rag fleet, trying to fleet
from sentient robots. It's called Nature Spirit Galactica, and the leader is a
Admiral Kadama. Yeah. Anything you have to explain for ten minutes is always
quality, that's right. Yeah, So say we all all right, Flora
bringing home? All right? Let me spin up my FTL here. Oh
man, yeah, I've got an actor. Actually, yeah, I don't
know if you've worked with this guy or not. I've worked with a lot.
You may have. You may have seen him in movies. I've seen
this guy here. This guy you hear about this He actually specializes in slavic
mob films. Oh that's terrific. Yeah, I've watched a ton of those,
so I probably know exactly what you're talking about. It's Joe Leshi.
You, Joe Peshi is the owner of the single greatest motherfucker in Hollywood.
No one says it like he does. That's great, like Joe Leshie.
Ye. Oh man, Them's puns. Them's his puns. And the only
the only thing that can wash out the foul, sickly sweet and incapacitating flavor
of puns is listener. That was we should have used that in the song.
Yeah, well, ding ding ding. And in this corner, the
welterweight pun champion Greg the Haymaker bak wearing the powder blue shorts, not wearing
shorts at all. Please put on some shorts. Greg back, Greg back,
Greg. Greg hits us in the face with puns. Oh man.
Yeah, he starts with the rabbit punchy, moves into the cross and then
boom, as the name implies, the haymaker, So let's kick it off.
Yeah. When building cities in ancient Turkey, you have to eat,
but you want to keep your food fresh, says you should always pack it
in go Beckley tepiware Oh one two one one two one. That's right,
he's working the mid section. Uh, he says. In Egypt, a
little known fact was the great and tut in Common was always in pain and
was said to be addicted to oxyconnot oh three four three two three. Also
he shows me a little solidarity, and that he also remembers eny Kamus and
the hot stepper. Well, turn it up, excuse ms officer? Turn
it down? No, no, no, God, how much singing?
How in a year? Or we're gonna have like a special episode where we
don't sing. Well doesn't Isn't it supposed to like lower your blood blood pressure
or something. I don't know. It's supposed to make you feel good.
It does make me feel good. Now conversely, hearing it, yeah,
doing it is one thing. Yeah, sorry guys, Yeah yeah, Greg,
Greg, send us some information about quote unquote information quote. Yeah,
he says, uh, sure you already knew this. But Judas, you
know from the Bible, Judas was a vampire. Do you hear about this?
Do you guys hear what? Judas got a little get himself a little
weekend job. Apparently he was the first vampire and Apparently there is some crap
floating around out there about this being true, and some of it verified by
Yahoo answers. So he threw that in there for from us because he knows
that I have a much higher level of proof required. Maybe I believe maybe
this is something we could we could throw into an episode one day. Oh
yeah, in the old future Empire Judas Vampire Judas. That's interesting. Yeah,
well, I mean, same thing with a robot apostle Paul. Yeah.
I think they fought once, well for the moon. There used to
be a civilization on Mars until their battle got out of hand. Robot Apostle
Paul was disassembled on the road to Damascus. Yeah, technically he was a
Mecca apostle and then he had his conversion to the new iOS. Moving on
before we just wallow in that, yeah, Greg. Greg ends it with
one more pun for us. He says, there's a new erotic novel about
a man's trip to a secluded cabin which is haunted by a very dominant ghost.
It's a tale of love and exploration called Sifty Shades of Gray. That
is a top five pun of the year. It's a good one. Is
that is magnificent I'm here, like, where is the mur No, I
guess that would it would be like I'm here in the bread room, but
where m That's awesome. Don't forget. If you're in Chicago, Greg Bach
will be playing at I think Second City the twenty ninth of December. Nice.
Yeah, check it out. We're heard again from listener Josie h.
Josie Well, Hi did Josie Hi? She says she was listening to our
Reptilions episode and thought that maybe one of the reasons why humanity hates reptiles is
because of how different than humans they are, because you know, people do
hate things that are different than them, even other people. Yeah, and
I think I think, I think you're honest something. I think that there
is something that is so completely foreign about reptiles to us. Yeah, that
that does engender like an an instant revulsion, right right. Yeah, And
maybe even for something so different to be similar her like that, even even
with skills and vertical slits in their eyes and all that stuff, they're still
you know, if they're humanoid, that's uh, that's just that makes you
pissed off. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, you're not supposed
to be like man. They're supposed to have a little bit of arms,
and you're supposed to chase Jeff Goldbloom and a jeep. Oh man, thank
you, Josie. Thanks for writing in Josie. That's interesting. Man.
Let's you wonder if there's anything else? What look to the north rather it
broachs officer. Guys, see I see her back? No, look he's
done, Luke. He has brought a burro loaded with buns. Oh,
welcome down Luke to blurry acid. Oh man, Don Luke, Hey,
Don Luke. First, thanks for adopting the name full time yep ye.
Second of all, prepare yourselves because he is loaded. Here we go,
that poor little burrow, Here we go. All right? Where do you
cook self indulgent chicken a bohemian stove? I'll bet she can't make that pun
rhyme. Where do you store your urban pirate booty? A bohemian cove?
Did it? Oh? No, he did not just do the thing,
favorite urinating president, not Richard Nixon, but Bohemian Grover Cleveland. I like
it. That's that's what Grover? What do you think that? What?
What do you think? Uh? President Nixon? What what did you think
of Grover Cleveland was the latest Norwegian dance sensation. What does the box say?
Ring? And finally, to put us out of our own misery,
a sandhill crane that makes a fortune off of locking industry, a pine baron.
Oh oh, don, look, we thank you for bringing these finest
puns to our hacienda. You will know us don't get caught by the officias.
Thanks Don Luke, Thanks Don Luke. We'll see you again when the
time is right. I Belois love, he believe in dun Luke. He
dun Luke believes in you. Well, you know who else believes in you?
Who? Connor? Hey, Connor? What up? Connor hits us
with a pun from our Bohemian Grove episode. He says, in the Grove,
there's a small dance club in the style of soul Train known as the
Bohemian Grove. Oh yeah, welcome, welcome, privileged what man, solid
gold, show me what you were born with and have never worked a day
for? He says. Also, a few people know that the Grove was
where the phrases hang out with your whang out and rock out with your cock
out originated show enough Man. Also, he recently learned where the word etiquette
has its roots. It's French meaning little ticket, referring to small slips of
paper given to commoners when meeting royalty. As such, he says, a
haint ticket is in a way a correct phrase for a slip of paper with
rules for acting like a royal bitch, which is what I am. Oh,
I'm the worst stecco. He also wants you to stop harbing him on
calling you out for down with the sickness. Wow, that's the right one,
right. That is a song by Disturbed. There you go, Yes,
I see, No, that's about me learning see. He heard a
recent report of a Disturbed cover band, the acist of which, while performing,
was tuned so low while playing the aforementioned song hit the infamous brown note,
which caused everyone in the club to release the contents of their bowels.
Thus the report headline, heavy metal fans are brown with the sickness. Oh
God, brilliant great, Thanks Connor. We also got a couple of great
messages from a friend, Bob Payton. Bob, and our simple reply is
ease off on the throttle there, Bob, pump the brakes. There's you
were about to find out that there is a toxic limit to how much blurry
photos you can listen to in a day. Yeah, yeah, this is
this is a beverage best step to not show They're not a session podcast.
As much as I appreciate it, I'm kind of worried about you because we
can't even listen to ourselves that much. But thank you. I admire your
your your tenacity. Yeah, that's endurance. I don't have it. Thanks
for writing in you, guys, Yeah, thank you so much. You
guys are magnificent. Thanks for the reviews, and thanks for sitting through our
our singing. Oh man, I love it. I love I love them,
I love them sitting through us, sitting through it. If you can
forgive us for the songs that are that are fun and just full of parody,
Yeah, go to iTunes, give us five stars, rate us.
Yeah, tell us to tell us how how you can tell we sing and
how good we are in the rist You can tell us with the twitters.
You can tell us with the facebooks. You can um send an an interest
missive through stumble Upon. You can, uh, you can, you can
YouTube, but yeah you could um come to my apartment in four square it
and become the mayor of this podcast. Man, imagine. Yeah, there's
a lot of official duties and you have a lot of violations with the city
to clear up. So please, I need someone become the mayor. You
want that mantle? Yeah, do you want that? You can? You
can email us, you can Facebook message us. I already said that,
but it's so easy, I said, contact page on blurry photos dot org
and contact us like any one of these wonderful listeners did that you just heard
from and tell us something cool, suggests something to us up. This whole
episode is a direct result of a recent show suggestion. We keep all of
them. We have this big database, we have a big spreadsheet. We
go through it, check them off. Even if even if you sent one
in a while ago. Oh, why don't you just keep listening? Yeah,
don't worry and come around that corner. It'll get you. It'll get
you. Blurry Underscore photos on Twitter and Blurry Photos podcast on Facebook. Please
go and tell your friends to like us, even if they don't listen.
Who gives a shit if they don't listen. What you could do is say,
hey, I got a podcast you should listen to. That's right,
It's time for you to get on board with this. Yeah, temperature to
actually be cool at once, son of a bitch. Be real angry,
get really get right up in their grill. Yeah, catch those flies with
vinegar. So, for this episode of Blurry Photos, I am David the
Incapacitating Nectar Stecco, and I'm David Venus flora trap. That was good.