Hope this email finds you well. Over work to underplay, it is not
safe work. Dungeon and Dragon's Actual Play podcast about a group of young professionals
from the real world who find themselves transported it into a strange but familiar place
full of fantasy and magic. Please see attached for episode description and content warnings.
Thanks for listening. Coming soon to a podcast near you. Action in
a world of fantasy comes the new adventure Exit Strategy. Join us as seven
adventurers stumble upon ancient ruins of a long forgotten people. Where are we?
This? My friends? Is the Great Glory, a temple full of ancient
treasure plates? Whoa is that a projector? No, Richard, that is
the astro Projector. Questions will be answered, but new mysteries will take their
police. Oh gosh, a friendship bracelet that's just like the one on my
list? How that mind up been a place like this? No one will
ever to be the same. Oh my god, Crystal, you turned into
a caterpillar. But no quest is without its dangers. Everyone in the carts
goblins are coming. Wait, where's Bentley? Help me? Heroes will fall,
but others will rise and take their place. Bentley take my hand.
I'm getting you out of here. Whatever you do, always make sure to
have an exit strategy. Welcome my paid and unpaid interns. This is Overworked
and Underplayed. A D and D podcast for young professionals. Buy Young Professionals.
I'm your District Manager or DM Alex Capps, and Today's ice Breaker.
What was your worst performance review? Hi? I'm Kyle. I played Jimothy
Sticks. He's an artifice heer. My worst performance review I got was when
I went to the office for my performance review. My boss said, Okay,
so you know, can you tell me about what you do? Because
he genuinely didn't know what I did, and so it wasn't like me defending
my position. It was me explaining my position to him, and I was
like, wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be my boss? Shit,
So not really a performance review more as a performance show. And tell
what up? It's your boy. Marcel Hardy playing Richard Cox, a human
consultant turned halfling barred who Holly believes it's better to be lucky than good,
but it's best to be both. And Richard's worst performance review was on his
last job he had just started right before they were doing the performance review process
and all employees have to go through it, so he wasn't actually sure what
his job was yet, and his manager was also new, and so his
manager asked him a whole bunch of questions that he didn't have the answers to.
Turns out that he was getting asked questions on performance from a different employee.
Was it Taylor, Hi, I'm Adelyn Hardy and I play Taylor Jacobs.
Apparently a very aggressive performance review have her, so definitely tune into our
Patreon to you that. And so Taylor's worst performance review is that her boss
asked her if she was disappointed in her own performance, and then asked what
her mom would think of her performance. And then it was like, you're
a religious person, aren't you? What would what would your God think of
what you've done? Holy crap? And when Taylor went to HR about it,
nothing happened. There was also talk of putting big girl panties on extra
No, yep, I hope Taylor no longer works at this place wherever she
got this review? Taylor, So it was with mister Richardson, which we
all know is a terrible manager. Yes, yeah, there we go.
Okay, Okay, hi everyone, I'm Katie and I play Crystal, the
drought Druid MLM boss babe that we all know and love. Crystal's worst performance
review is that she's never had one because she's only ever been her own boss.
So her performance reviews, should she choose to give one to herself,
is exceeds expectations. Hey, I'm Margie. I play Amy and a basically
rough and double human fighter with a freshly minted dentistry degree. So she works
for the family business hasn't been for very long, as I said, new
newly minted dentist. But when she does something not quite right or maybe pulls
out the wrong teeth or you know, goes to the wrong wrong or something
like that, you know are things. I mean really everybody stakes everybody has
those days. Yeah, just whoever's like the office manager or if my mom's
on staff that that day, she'll come and be like, Amyn, what
are you doing? You needed to double check your work before you, you
know, actually pull somebody's teeth out, and it's like, okay, sorry
mom, and then go on like that. I am Tyler. I play
Bentley, the IT Paladin, and like Crystal, he's never had a performance
review, but for a different reason. The only job he's had is the
job he works now because, as I stated previously, he got hires intern,
but then everyone above him left, so he became the it department as
results of that, combined with the management above that learning about this news zoomer
thing called quiet quitting. He's never had a performance review, so he just
kind of lives by. Well, if nothing's broken and nobody notices I'm here,
I must be doing a good job. Yeah. The question is is
he still getting an intern salary or is he being compensated for I think he's
he was getting an intern salary. But remember he hit it big on bitcoins,
so he kind of really works more just because he knows he wouldn't do
anything else. So yeah, all right, So the DM's worst formance review
was one time he just finished up a campaign and he got feedback from all
the players that they didn't cry once, and he just knew that he had
done a poor job. Hey, listeners, this show is made possible by
the support of our awesome patrons. In addition to a thank you for their
support, our patrons get an ad free listening experience and access to exclusive bonus
content. In this episode, you're going to hear an abridged version of the
performance reviews that we did. We'll post the full thing on our Patreon.
For more details about what you get by supporting us on Patreon, check us
out at patreon dot com slash own up pod. All right, so when
we last left off, Bentley and Taylor Jacobs had gotten a little closer.
You guys had managed to survive being attacked by goblins, and you made it
back to the city and made it back to Bluegle headquarters, where you found
surprisingly At Damon hanging out in the lobby. We pick up Matt Damon looks
and he goes, excellent, excellent job, guys, I heard you were
coming. Great work getting Fizzle bang back here all in one piece. I
don't see any arrow holes, so that's a good sign. Yeah, there
used to be Bentley helped a little bit there. Yeah about that. Well,
uh yeah, well dress it's don't don't worry about it. Uh.
So, we're gonna start your performance reviews now. So I'm gonna ask each
of you to kind of take a seat over here, and my associates here,
Bob Shiffley and Bob will come out and get you one at a time,
take you back for your performance reviews, and then we'll, you know,
we'll go from there. I want you all to come see me when
you get out, all right, can you when as a group we come
see you? Yea, when everybody's done, y'all, y'all come upstairs,
come see me, and we'll discuss where we go from here. Richard,
I hear we're doing yours first. That's right over, rechiever. I like
that. Yes, let's get you seated. Bob's take it easy on him.
This is his first time. Sure will boss. You all sit down
in a very nondescript room. It would almost look like a police interrogation room
to you. There's like a single clock on the wall, and you're not
sure if it's actually like moving as fast as it should. And there's no
windows, and as he closes the door, the room is basically soundproof.
We have here. Your name is Richard Cox? Is that correct? That
is me? I'm Richard Cox. So, Richard, let's say that,
due to budgetary reasons in current market conditions, you know, this is hypothetical
that we had to terminate one member of your party. Who would you pick
and why m that's a tough question. I'm not the resource manager. Of
course I have some opinions on that, but I don't know that I would
be the best appropriate person to do that. So I'm gonna have to pass
on that. Come on, come on, Rich, It's just a question.
Surely there's somebody, you know, a little deadweight hanging around. I
trust in Blue goals ability to pick people to hire, and so I think
that there's no deadweight on this team. Interesting, you see as he writes
some stuff down, all right, So that's one down. So same deal.
You get sat down, Welcome. As we said, my name's Bob
and this is my associate Bob. You know, we work here and you
know, evaluate people, and we just want to get to know you a
little bit. You know. Let's say that due to budgetary reasons and current
market conditions, we had to terminate one member of your team. Who would
it be and why? Hopefully it'd be me. I don't want to work
here, but for some reason, no matter how hard I try, I
cannot be fired. I've escalated it all the way up to like theft,
but you guys just keep me around for some reason, and I cannot figure
it out. Please let me go home. Such an honest answer. You
know, it's hard to find candidates that have that level of honesty and candidness.
That is the kind of thing we're looking for. Son of a bitch,
real Perkey said of Bob's in there. Guys, Bentley, they bring
you into the room, sit you down, nice to meet you. So
you know we're bringing you in doing the performance review. Don't think of this
as anything like you should be stressed out or nervous about. Okay, good,
good, We're off to a great start there. So Bentley, let's
say, due to budgetary reasons in current market conditions, we had to terminate
one member of your party. Who would you pick? And why one?
Richard? Because I feel like he's the type that would answer this question and
say that nobody here and so there's always someone that can be cut. You
gotta be able to answer the hard questions. When you got a strong team,
you got to cut the bleeding heart, right yea. If not him,
Crystal, I mean they both could probably go and it would be fine.
What is it with Crystal? What do you does she not add something
to the team, or I suppose she adds a voice there's just not always
substance to it. Okay, okay, Bentley, I believe we've completely did
everything, he says. The other Bob opens the door. Thanks, Bob's
all right, So Amien. Oh Hi, yeah, Hi, Hi,
My name's Bob. This is Bob. Hi, Bob and Bob. Yeah,
welcome to your performance review. I don't know, I know this is
your first one ever for Bluegal. Have you ever had one of these before?
H not this formal? I don't think so. No. Oh,
excellent, excellent. Well, look, there's nothing to be nervous about here.
We just need to talk about a few things. Uh. You know,
we're gonna go over your performance since you've joined the company. Uh.
So, let's say, due to budgetary reasons or market conditions, we had
to terminate one of your team members tomorrow. Well who would you pick?
And why so just because there wasn't enough money. Yeah, let's just say
there's there's not enough money. Uh, you know, we we can't keep
our staff. We gotta downsize. So your your team of six, it's
got to go down to five. Can you just give all of us a
paycut instead? Not an option? That's a really hard one. I don't
know, I don't know. I think everybody's doing their best. But if
you had to answer, i'd have to I don't know that I could give
you a name. I would feel bad. M okay, interesting, he
sees, he scribbles some notes down. He sees the two bobs come out
of the door and they're looking. They're like, we're looking for miss Crystal
number two. Is miss Crystal number two available? I think you're referring to
Crystal two point oh note clearly says on here on the paper, Crystal number
two, I would like to submit an HR complaint. And she stands up
and she's got like a giant oversized bag. She's clearly prepared for this.
She's worn her little power suit and her sunglasses are on, and she like,
you can definitely. I don't know if heels exist in this world,
but if they do, you can hear her heels get lacking. So as
soon as you say, I would like to register an HR complaint, he
goes, Yep, that's her all right, If you'll just join us in
here, says welcome, Welcome to your performance review. Here with Bluegull.
I'm Bob, and this is Bob in we have here Crystal number two point.
Oh okay, he says, So you've been here with the company a
couple of days, now, do you know. We just have a few
questions, just want to get to kind of get to know you. Let's
say that, due to budgetary reasons and current market conditions, we had to
terminate one member of your party. Who would you pick? And why can
you terminate people that don't want to be here? Well, you can terminate
anyone as long as they're here. Well, I mean, I'm under a
contract that specifically gives like an outline of my rules and responsibilities. So to
terminate that you would have to speak to my attorney. But I don't think
it would be possible even if I didn't want to be here, because I've
also tried to get out of working here because I prefer working for myself,
which I now I guess don't according to you. I mean, you can
try if you want. You see, as they both look at each other
very puzzled. So, just to recap your answer, are you saying that
if given the option, you would terminate yourself. If given the option,
I would reassess my position here in the company, possibly move up, possibly
move over, because sometimes a budget isn't just about where you're actually in.
It's about a budget as a whole. So maybe I just moved departments.
You never know. Okay, moving on. You see as the Bob step
out of the room, they kind of look at you. All right,
last one. Let's see here we're looking for a miss Taylor Jacobs. Hi,
you can call me Taylor. He looks, and he goes, oh
h how about we have this one outside? Oh my gosh, I would
love that. Oh okay, So you step outside the building in this like
a back alleyway and like he pulls up some chairs and stuff, and it
says, can I get you anything? Water, some apples, a sugarcube,
a sugar Oh ah, no, thanks? Okay, okay, Well,
welcome to your performance appraisal. My name's Bob and this is Bob.
Bob and Bob. Yeah, we'd like to do these from time to time
here at bluegel Assess how are people are doing? How are you doing today?
Missus Jacobs? You know what, I'm actually a little nervous, are
you. Well, there's no need to be nervous, you know. We
just have a few things to go over and a few questions and just kind
of want to get a feel for your time here at Bluegel, even though
I know it's been a short time. So starting off, let's say,
you know, due to budgetary reasons or current market conditions, we had to
terminate one member of your party. Who would it be? You know what,
I have felt very disappointed and not supported by one team member in particular,
and it's our manager, Jerry. He's never visited with us. We've
been here for days. It's honestly quite disappointing. I've never I've had bad
managers, and this is a whole different level. Okay, Okay, interesting
answer. Okay, well we are here to present you with this welcome to
level three, so I believe I will take the offer. Okay, sounds
good. Nice to meet you, Miss Jacobs. It's just Taylor. You
can call me Taylor. Okay. All right, So you guys are all
out of your performance reviews and you all meet back up in the lobby.
I feel like that went well. Hey, so Matt, are there any
action items that we need to take away from those performance reviews? You know,
I'm waiting to hear back on whether or not we can level up sooner.
There's kind of that interraction and I'll be following up on that frequently.
Oh so, yeah, the Bob's kind of came and talk to me about
that. You know that there's a lot of approvals that that has to go
through, you know, company policy and all that. We'll get back to
you on that. What I want to talk to you guys about is what
a good job you're doing and that this information that has been provided from Fizzle
banging about the Great Oory is fan ta stick. He says, you guys
were instrumental in getting into the actual chamber and he couldn't have done it without
you. He's currently working on translating a bunch of stuff that he got from
there. He did want you guys to have this, and he hands you
the soop, the Universal Soop. He said it might help you in your
travels, and he said he'll be providing information on the remaining artifacts soon.
Now. In the meantime, were you guys able to find out anything about
the little dust up with Beckett and co. I mean, I saw from
your files that you had ran into the goths. Yeah, it seems like
some of you made some interesting contacts with the goths. But yeah, it
was really surprising. They were very unprofessional. Some of our female teammates were
hit on or spoken to in a patronizing tone. So it was really disappointing.
Okay, but did we get any useful information? Now? We're tracking
down some le Okay, so that's not important to the company. Well,
no, No, we got people. We got people working on that I'm
looking for. I'm looking big picture. Did you totally get back to you?
Yeah? Did you figure out who they're working for? Who's trying to
wreck our project? We don't have all of the details yet, but we
do have some leads that we're tracking down. Okay, what kind of leads?
We got a name in a place, but that's all we have.
We don't have anything solid. We're going to check it out. I'm sure
you don't want to microman adjest, right, you have too much stuff to
do. So we'll look into that, make sure that it's a legit source,
and then we'll go from there. You said you got a lead,
You said you got a name in a place. What are we talking about
here? Maybe maybe I know something you don't, but we don't want to
turn somebody in for something that is totally hypothetical. Also, we should definitely
be able to drill down on this more before we give you the full report.
Yeah, we were instructed to go to this place called the PBX.
It's in some weird geo Citi's place. We haven't checked it out yet,
but hopefully you can. You know, let us go there and see what's
up. He just looks as you really confused. I have no clue what
I thought. You said you wanted to evaluate that's important or not? Yeah,
yeah, the goss told us PBX. Okay, make a deception check.
Yeah, we're unclear what a geocity is. But no, I want
Jimothy to make a deception check because he's the one who threw this out there.
But we're helping. I will let him have advantage because Richard is assisting
because he jumped in there. That's going to be fifteen. You see,
as you look at him, the color in his eyes begins to shift.
Are you having a stroke? He says, No. I just get a
little frustrated when people lie to me. So yourself, you choose to be
frustrated. Hey, so you know, like maybe we could decide at a
later time kind of if whether or not the information it is good And then
you know, we have kind of been in a high stress performance review.
We're not our best. Of course, we want to do a good job.
We don't want to give you something half baked, like let us prove
ourselves and go out and get the best information we can find. Speaking of
that, that's a good point, Taylor. We would like, if possible,
some more information on a web developer. We did learn that we need
to look somewhere they just told us on the web. But that's not a
place. Yeah, it's a place, okay, sure, and we can
find that. Where have you never been to the server? You're you're aware
that we just got here, right, Okay, okay, I'll explain this
to you. There's this place in the Grand Bazaar called the Server. It's
a cafe, but it also has but there's also a door that leads you
down to the Trevarian underground, a series of cave networks, and that's where
the web is. Oh, that is awesome some information that we did not
have prior to this, so we could certainly move forward with that task now,
yes, thank you. Also, we noticed that some of Crystal's intellectual
property has been stolen, which we know is one of the highest defenses as
we are experiencing consequences of that. Could you tell us more about like her
supply chain, where her factory is, Like more information about how we could
encounter that kind of work on it. Well, you're talking about the Clarity
cult people. Yes, they've been around here a long time before you guys
got here. Time is irrelevant. He looks as she says, do you
have any proof that you are the real crystal? Well, so I noticed
that in my like when I caught a glimpse of the fraud, that I
that she had a possession of mine that would contain information that would give or
a jump start on all of my like ip, So I don't have it
with me, but like what if I could get it? Maybe in our
off hour? Yeah, outside of work? Sure, whatever, tell you
what, I'll have Saul look into it. Thank you. Listen, handle
the web developer thing or handle the cloud thing. Those are the only two
things I need you guys focused on right now, because there are some moves
happening and we've got to start getting a roll, like getting rolling on this
thing, or our competitors are going to beat us to market and we do
not want that, understood, you see He looks at you, Richard.
You see as he takes his hand, pulls it out from behind his back,
and he holds a pouch and clinks some coins together, and he says,
now, mister Cox, are you sure there's nothing else you want to
tell me? Actually, now that you mention in it, there is something
that I would like to bring up. We didn't get an opportunity to talk
about it in the performance reviews, but seeing coins, this is a great
time to talk about it. I think that we could renegotiate based on how
quickly we were able to perform the task that we've done so far, and
some other areas of improvement that I've seen, not just with our task,
but maybe the company as a whole. He looks at you and he says,
I'll take it into consideration, and puts the coins back away. Now,
go get me a web developer or complete your other tasks. All right,
we will do that. You guys leave his office. And as you're
leaving, the little gnome sitting at the reception desk he sees Jimmy walking by.
He goes, listen, just one gnome to another. I wouldn't advise
lying to the boss. How do you think I ended up here? Why
do you say that? Well, I mean you don't want to be stuck.
What you're doing forever? Do you? Well? I'm going outside and
doing things. What are you doing? Well? I mean you'll never end
up like in a position like this if you keep lying to the boss.
Are you're implying that your position is better than my position? He looks at
your shoes, and then he looks at his shoes, and he goes,
yes, you do probably look homeless. It's all right, christ Or you
look tired. He holding goes, you see this, it's real role x.
Like you don't have sauce, but you have role xes. I don't
want to be in this fucking universe. We're going. Can we go to
the bar? I need to fucking drink. It's been a day, all
right, So you guys leave, leave the Bluegirl headquarters? And what's your
plan? That dude's as an other gnome. I just want to give you
a piece of ice and proceeded to insult me. Wait, what did I
tell you, Jimmy? He tells you to get a better job or something.
Yeah, he was like, oh, you know, you don't want
to lie because you might get stuck doing what you're doing. And I'm like,
you're the dude who works the front desk. I'm going on adventure.
No, he's not working the front desk. He's working the CEO's desk.
Yeah, it makes a big difference, big difference. I'm not long for
this world. I don't give a fuck. I'm out where another No worry,
don't pay him, no mind, Jimmothy, I don't gonna be Okay,
no mind, no mind. That was better. Okay, So we're
out to the cafe or Hey, as we're walking, why are we lying
to the boss? We're not lying. We're just withholding information until we have
a bigger picture. Yeah, if you're if you're launching a product, you
don't want everybody to know what the product is. I agree with the whole
stance of you don't want to come in half cock. You know, always
a whole cock, not a half. I knew that sometimes a half.
What Oh that's that's unfortunate. Al right, so can't before So we're walking,
right, we're walking a man, Hey, guys, group, group
group. They had a lot of information on things that we've been doing,
like reports on stuff. I don't know how they would have known that,
so maybe we should try and I don't no, keep an eye out for
like people watching us. That's a great idea now that you mentioned that.
You know, they kept saying that our manager Randy No, our manager Jerry
Jerry, Yeah, be able to get in contact with us. We've never
met him, and he's always like, oh he knows how to get in
contact with us. Maybe we're being followed. Maybe he is following us.
Yeah, that's so crazy. I need everyone to make a perception check.
No need to take this off line. Overworked and underplayed. We'll circle back
after these messages. Bentley wants to lead over, so rich here to be
like, maybe it's the birds. He's all about conspiracy theories. There's the
birds aren't real conspiracy amy and nine okay. At twenty seventeen ten Richard got
a five, Bentley got a nineteen. Okay. Bentley and Jimothy. As
soon as you hear him say that, you guys get this eerie feeling and
you sweep around and you see an oddly placed barrel, like at the end
of an alleyway. Bentley, you wanna have you seen that that weird box
that says, don't look here, Yeah, that's the one like like from
what is it meddal gear solid? Yeah, um, you want to uh
do you wanna do you want to go? We'll check that out kind of.
Yeah, all right, Ben can look at the party that we're gonna
go check out this this sparrel will be all right. Make sure there's no
birds looking at you feel triplets like Richard the flat Earth. Oh, birds
aren't real, that's that's crazy. But we met a birdman Richard. He
was he was a guy that was a bird. Remember he was like he
wasn't but he wasn't a real bird. By the way, just as a
just as like a thing. Bentley is gonna like accidentally trigger his divine sense.
Okay, what does this vine sense do? Let's him see celestial fiends
and undead with an I think it's sixty feet let me pull it up.
Okay, so that's not gonna matter. Yeah, your your your radar is
not gonna ping on anything. Yeah. I was just making sure. I
just wanted I've never used it, and I wanted to be like, oh,
I'm looking all right, let's walk over here and you look at this
barrel. Bentley is gonna like casually walk and Okay. So the rest of
you see Bentley and Jimmothy approaching a what looks to be an oddly placed barrel
at the end of an alleyway, Can I cast detect magic? You certainly
can, Okay, man, I mean I heard Jimmy say he wanted to
go to the bar but that's a bit excessive. Just go straight for a
barrel a crystal. You do not detect anything magical about the barrel, Dan,
I was thinking that we would just walk over it and then pick it
up or like kick it over. I like it. We're all trying different
like fancy ways, and the Pentland is just like what if I just picked
the barrel up? So you picked the barrel up? Is gonna pick the
barrel up? Okay? And what was your passive perception? Thirteen? Okay,
that's enough. You pick up the barrel and you don't hear anything when
you pick it up. You can certainly shake it, Okay, Just start
shaking the barrel up and down. It's like, wow, I thought this
would be harder. I forgot that I'm stronger here. So you shake the
barrel and as you're doing it, you hear what sounds like a ticking noise.
Oh, Bitley's gonna like put the barrel back down? Does ever lid
what I want to know? Hold on, So they're doing this, what
are the rest of you doing? Peering over their shoulder? So y'all are
all around them, they're being management. So so who is with Bentley and
Jimothy right by the barrel? Taylor? Taylor Castle is not right? Okay,
So Crystal was just still talking about Jimmothy going straight for the barrel after
talking. Okay, okay, Amy's walking towards So you're walking towards that.
So how far are Crystal and Richard from it? I don't know how far
away was the barrel? Yeah, it's about twenty five feet so yeah,
okay, just kind of staying magic like, just I got you. So,
so you're walking towards it, so you're gonna be about ten feet away
from it. So I need Amien, Jimmothy, and Bentley to make dexterity
saving throws. Oh Taylor as well? Yes, Bentley two? Okay,
so he's a failure. I actually rolled a four, but I have a
negative amen eleven okay fail. I also rolled a two. Okay, so
that's a failure. What did Taylor Jacobs get I got not twenty okay,
So you shake it and you hear the clicking and like you stop shaking it.
I put it down and there, well there's about to not be a
barrel. I kind of figured as the whole thing explodes right in front of
your So Jimothy and Bentley are gonna take eleven points of fire damage. So
this is more like a pipe bombay in the street. It was just in
the street, yes, and then Amy and you're going to take eight points.
Think a child that like picked up this barrel. Bentley gets knocked back
to the ground and he just kind of like leaves there there you go like
grab his knee, goes Taylor Jacob. No, no, Taylor, you're
gonna take five points of fire damage because you you kind of you hear the
noise. You're like oh, and like you try to duck as best you
can, like out of the way. Yeah, and like you think you're
hitting the ground, but really all you did was kind of hide behind Bentley.
So so he's laying on the ground looking up the sky like this today
is gonna go this This explosion goes on and everyone like everyone in the in
in this part of the city just kind of looks and they're just like whatever,
keeps walking and Chris and Richard, you guys, hear a voice sounds
like it's coming from like near you says, ah, can you believe they
fell for the oldest trick in the book? Oh my god, I'm just
exploded. Oh calm down. It was just a training exercise, come from
So so you look around and you don't see anyone what he says down there?
You heard that, the I'm down here, you morons? Down here?
Richard short, Yeah, this guy is really small. If you look
down and you see what appears to be about like not quite a foot tall,
a small blue creature with a huge white, puffy mustache, like a
Victorian general mustache. And he says, uh, Jerry trick at your service,
Hey, Richard, it's a smurf. So so Crystal say that today.
You say that, and almost like like a flash of lightning, he
is on your shoulder and he says, I would be careful who refers to
who as some kind of silly creature. Crystal immediately sits down just like she
doesn't know how to get away, and he watches he like slowly walks down,
like, almost painfully slowly walks down your arm. Okay, her next
action was going to be to smack him off her shoulder, And he says,
Now, I've been observing all of you. Wait, did you say,
Jerry, Yes, Jerry Trick like as our manager the manager er,
Yes, Where the hell have you been? We have been four episodes ago,
he says. He says, I've been here all along, observing from
a distance to see what kind of people I am working with. What you're
telling me. Believe the amateurs they have a sign to me this time.
Ah my gosh, we can agree, yes, following for the random barrel
at the end of an alleyway. You're trying to tell us that it's our
fault for fumbling around for an entire week waiting for you to show the fuck
up. You are sorely mistaken. My style of management is a bit different.
It's terrible, that's how different it is. Well, I respect the
energy you're putting out, Richard. Richard is gonna take a deep breath while
she's handling that. He's like, oh wait, our friends, Richard,
you turn around. You see that Bentley Jimmy are prone. You see that
Amy Ann is a little dazed, and you see Taylor Jacobs is like brushing
herself off. I would like to add that there's like smoldering, like yeah,
yeah, definitely, and the barrel is like perfectly like eat out in
the circle. You know it's a cartoon. And so as you run over
there, basically the second you get to them, Jerry's just there. Oh
ship, He's like, what took you so long? I'm not used to
these little legs. Oh, you're gonna need to hustle now, the lot
of you stand up? Who's this guy? Taylor's going to assist the prone
folks with Crystal. Crystal runs up and she's like, that's fucking Jerry.
He looks like Papa Smurf. That's what I said, Are you a smurf?
I would ask you to stop referring to me as a smurf. I
don't know what that is, but it sounds derogatory in nature. One,
Yeah, it's good. So where you're from, that is Are they great
warriors? Uh, they're really good cooks. No, that's a different kind
of elf. No, Like sorry, Crystal looks at Marjorie, and Marjorie
looks at Crystal and we're like, yeah, yeah, good if it's if
it hooves you and it is something of great stature than you. Yes,
you may refer to me as as a smurf. I guess I thought he
was going to say, I'm kind of concerned about the how that's gonna work.
But anyways, he says, uh, I guess you can refer to
me as such. But I am Jerry Alvin Trick. Is that your government
name or last name? I should say Trick? What is your middle name?
Again? Like the chimunks, oh, which is really weird, small
furry woodland creature. I since I since some I since that there is some
miss labeling going on here, so I will henceforth no more silly nicknames.
You may refer to me as Jerry or mister Trick or Jerry at Trick.
I want to make a joke about you placing Obama as a training exercise and
really call you a boomer, but I'm just struggling. I'm so glad that
I'm like, wait, man, pull yourself up, very hang your one
weakness PDF you need to edit a period. He's not a boomer, he's
a sooner. So well, Jerry, it's great to finally meet you.
I don't know what that was. Were you testing us? There was a
training exercise and you all failed, especially you. Why are we getting surprised
training exercises when we've been busting our asks for an entire week doing well?
Might I receive up? Excuse me? No, no, no, no,
no no, you are not going to talk over me. I deserve
some compensation for the work that I've been putting in, and you have been
doing a terrible job of guiding us through this horrible process. Yeah, what
leadership styled? Well? I used to be a micromanager, your mic your
micro al right, but I've been trying some different styles. So it appears
that my more hands off, free range approach that the corporate has been pushing
has not been working. So back to micro management it is. Oh,
it has been working. We have accomplished so much. I'm just curious,
like we were promised all these trainings and all of this other like all of
this other information, and also compensation, Like what is happening? We are
working so hard. I'm sounding like Taylor? Do it? Get it?
He said? Have you not checked the bank for your for your stipend?
What bank? The Bank of Lavron? Yeah, they didn't even tell us
how to collect our paychecks. Now, did you ask, well reversal card,
track card, two way street touche, Sir touche, could you tell
us a little more about collect our paychecks? He says. Yes. You
go to the Bankala La Ron, and you tell them your name, They
check the ledger, and they tell you how much gold you have in the
central depository. So you're telling us that Bluegill opened up an account illegally under
all of our names. No, no, they legally opened up an account
under all of your names. Oh okay, so credit card. So Jerry,
what do we owe this pleasure? Well? I received feedback from your
performance reviews, and I was informed that some of you were disappointed in the
level of training you had received so and also that I was two hands off,
to which I replied that I will be extremely hands on, not as
extreme as some of you have been with each other, but I will be
more hands on. I will make myself more available and there will be training
exercises and I like it. Yeah, yeah, that's much more supportive.
Yes, at least that's what I've been told. And my current assessment is
that you all failed. That is, I would like to request that someone
else get blown up next time. Does his beard like frizzle up like a
cat. He looks. He looks at Amyen and he holds out his hand
and do you want it? I can pick you up. No, I've
just been informed we're not really allowed to touch each other, so no,
thank you. I will hold your hands. Yeah, I need you to
make a constitution saving throw oh natural twenty h Constitution five twenty five. He
holds his hand out and he's like, are you okay, little buddy.
It's gotta be pretty emasculating as he tries to cast reduce to make her small.
I mean I can't pick you up. I don't mind. Crystal leans
into Amy and and she's like, I mean I'm not really great at like
context clues, but it feels like he doesn't mind. Okay, yeah,
just treat me. I do not need your assistance. You need my assistance?
Oh? We do, yes, get your assistance. On the way
to what was that? Richard goes into his notes the server. Oh,
yes, yes, oh you're going to the web. Yes, that is
our plan. I hear you're going to look for a web developer. Correct,
yes, excellent, Yes, what do you need to know. We
need to know how to get there. You go to the server. Is
there anything we need to bring? What kind of association? Is there a
salary thing that's happened to d hold on one at a time. Do we
have logins? Do we have logins? No, you can't carry you do
we like? Do we need on to the web like a USB drive or
like a like a storage device, like a backpack? Well, um,
it's a tiny backpack. If anything, I would suggest getting some sort of
of non flame related lighting source. Wait a second, we're going to an
internet he did say we have to go into the basement. Taylor said we
were going to an internet cafe. You know you're going to the You're going
to the server, which is where you get access to the Worldwide Web at
a at a cafe. We're just gonna go drink coffee and sit around computers.
Right. What's a computer? Blue like a person, like a person
who counts like a bluegle chaos, like a terminal. No, you'll need
to hire a browser. Um, they're free though not here like Google Chrome
or Firefox. Oh yeah, Bentley, he's like a he's he's our subject
matter expert. He knows what he's talking about Bentley bus He says, uh,
I don't know what browsers are available, but you'll need a pretty experienced
one to carry all of you at once, like on their back, well,
on the spiders back. No, I'm gonna have to say that we're
not doing this now. What do you mean I refuse to interact with spiders?
Is Benttley afraid of spiders? Yes, Bintley is like me. I'm
also definitely afraid of insects some bugs. Well, that'll be kind of a
problem because the browser takes you on the spider that carries you along the world
Wide Web. Can we find a way to do it without the spider?
I would not recommend that I can carry people on my back. Can you
walk on the west by? I would not recommend that. How good are
you at walking a tightrope with four legs? I don't know. I've done
yoga a lot, so I probably find out it. She's very graceful.
Well, I would advise not doing this because the spiders, while friendly,
can sometimes be confused by things stuck in their web. M Well, he
no, I don't know what I'm saying, Jerry. What why do we
need to get a web developer. It seems like you guys know where they
are. It's kind of chaotic on the web, a lot of random violence.
Uh, you need a tough group to go sort out and find a
good web developer version of web is different from ours. It seems more like
a literal web. Yeah, I am, it's a web. What did
you think it was. I'm hung up on the fact that you have the
ability to teleport and place bombs, but navigating the web is too much for
you. I don't you can probably like walk on those webs. I'm just
I'm hung up on the fact that you have some sort of unnatural level of
powers. But we've been sent to do something because nothing about me is unnatural.
I'm just very fast. Okay, So what's the upping you from getting
this information? Uh? Well, that's that's uh not to duties as a
signed Oh okay, but I think going back to maybe thirty seconds ago,
I think Taylor brought up a good point in that how are we compensating?
Like, how are we going to convince his web developer to come with us?
He says, oh, yes, yes, and he he hands you
the offer letter. Richard takes the offer letter reads it over. What does
it say? Nothing relevant to you, but there is a It has a
certain amount of gold per quarter is more than us? Oh yeah, way
more. Oh maybe we should get good at being Oh yeah yeah, cross
train. Can you speak Spider? We could we learn it. I don't
know. I feel like everybody speaks here, like even I don't know.
So this conversation is happening on the way to the cafe, like, yeah,
yeah, we're walking. I'm imagining he saw my shoulder. So Crystalline's
over to Taylor and it's like, what do you think he is? Like?
Can we ask him what he is? I don't know. What do
you think that would be offensive? Isn't that offensive? Yeah? I don't
think you're supposed to ask people where they're from, what race they are,
that kind of thing you see. All of a sudden, he is like
on Crystal's shoulder age, No, no, I know, but okay,
he's He's like, it will make me a stealth check about that? Okay,
about that? Seventeen okay, seventeen Okay, So you guys are being
very quiet and you're discussing this, and like you get done discussing it and
you kind of turn and he's just sitting there and he's like, you could
just ask where we're from, Like you don't know. You don't just ask
people. I don't know, he says. He says, all right,
there's a lot of complexity that we'd love to get into at a different time.
Yeah, he says, Okay, Well regard us. He said,
I'm a quickling. I'm a fake creature, and I moved like lightning,
or at least I used to. Now I'm a little slower than I used
to be. Why old age? Oh now I want to ask you how
old you are? I'm twenty five. Oh maybe it's a dog yourself,
you know. Yeah, quicklings age because they run so fast. They age
faster than like normal beings. That's kind of sad, he says, I've
lived a thousand lifetimes in twenty five years. Yes, the candle that burns
twice as fast lives half as long. That is really sad. So we're
all up in the half. Yeah, So he says, well, here
we are. Good luck. Gratitude today keeps the haters away, and that's
why we want to thank you for listening to Overworked and Underplayed. You just
heard Alex caps as our dm Anlyn Hardy is Taylor Jacobs, Katie is Crystal
two point zero, Marjorie is Amy Ann, Marcel Hardy is Richard Cox,
Tyler as Bentley, and Kyle as Jimmy Styx. Episodes are edited by Marcel
and circle back episodes are edited by Katie. We hope you enjoyed it,
and we'll circle back in two weeks on June fifteenth for the next episode.
You can help us to get the word out by rating, reviewing, and
subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow us on social at
Onna pod that's owwn up, p o D, subreddit, r slash on
up. I want to keep them as a pet. I'm pretty sure that
you can't do that. Okay, that's gonna go in your performance reviews of
the next one.