WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:09.039
We have already started. Oh well, welcome back to the Black Girl Experience.

2
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:12.759
I'm your host, Jasmin dan Yelle. Today is a very special edition

3
00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:21.559
of the podcast because I got a
motherfucking guest in the building, Christine lay

4
00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:27.000
lay A kaaa. This was so
good. I was just telling her on

5
00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:29.800
the elevator, like, I'm so
happy here because I'll be tired of talking

6
00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:34.240
to myself all the time. Like, it's given. This is the top

7
00:00:34.280 --> 00:00:43.240
heavy episode. It's giving, it's
giving all across the man. So look,

8
00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:47.000
I didn't even know where this was
gonna go today, but let's just

9
00:00:47.079 --> 00:00:50.320
start from what what are you doing
in Dallas? What are you doing in

10
00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:54.679
Dallas? Friend? Dallas? Because
I'm moving here. She we was in

11
00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:57.159
the bathroom. I'm like, so
are you Like like She's like, oh,

12
00:00:57.240 --> 00:00:59.320
it's a done deal. I'm coming
here. I'm like, damn,

13
00:01:00.359 --> 00:01:03.120
it's it's official. I knew I
wanted to move here, but being here

14
00:01:03.239 --> 00:01:07.280
confirms it. Had a really good
experience so far, and I think this

15
00:01:07.319 --> 00:01:10.760
is where I need to be.
What have you what have you done so

16
00:01:10.879 --> 00:01:15.799
far? I went to a networking
event. I was a networking event with

17
00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:19.920
wires, So I'm gonna plug that
my girl, Kailani. She has a

18
00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:26.359
company called Women in Real Estate.
But short wire she had an event.

19
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:27.000
It was a game night, was
so fun. I wish she would have

20
00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:30.040
been there. A lot of a
lot of good people to know in the

21
00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:34.640
house. So but yeah, she's
making her presence down here. She's also

22
00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:40.599
moving and so she is moving here. She's not here yet though, right,

23
00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:45.560
Yeah, we're all So it's me, my sister and Kailani and Naomi,

24
00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:49.239
and we're all moving here within the
next year or so. Yeah,

25
00:01:49.159 --> 00:01:55.239
damn, okay, it's gang gangs
have a little community here. So tell

26
00:01:55.280 --> 00:01:59.959
them about your Airbnb experience. Oh, girl, girl, it's awful.

27
00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:05.560
I feel like Airbnb really fucked up
the game. Like it's it's terrible.

28
00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:07.800
It's a terrible experience. I feel
like too many people are investing in it

29
00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:14.240
but not really investing in their guest
experience. They just yeah, yeah,

30
00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:17.240
you know what I mean, and
it's sucking up everything. To me,

31
00:02:19.319 --> 00:02:21.639
Well, next time come to the
hotel. Well that's times. She's gonna

32
00:02:21.639 --> 00:02:24.520
probably be living here. So that's
no. I have some time before I

33
00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:30.560
move. So you trying to move, We ain't trying to move ideally,

34
00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:35.000
like, so I can have the
money say that I want maybe like this

35
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:39.520
time next year, any February,
okay, an ready February. But I

36
00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:43.759
don't know the way I feel right
now, I'm ready to like it.

37
00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:47.400
She's ready to turn up and find
the Dallas daddy's here, which I don't

38
00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:53.080
know nothing about that. And then
she was sending me all the ones off

39
00:02:53.159 --> 00:02:55.919
TikTok and I'm like, that ain't
really my type? What do I think?

40
00:02:57.639 --> 00:03:00.879
He was just sending me some dudes
from I don't know in Dallas on

41
00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:05.479
TikTok and I'm like, I mean
that was cute, but it wouldn't like.

42
00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:09.960
So, what's your type? Let's
talk about I ain't got no type.

43
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.199
You don't mm hmm? What's my
type? I don't know? What?

44
00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:19.719
What do you this? This this
is a good friend episode. What

45
00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:23.240
do you think my type is?
You know? What? Who was that?

46
00:03:23.879 --> 00:03:29.400
Oh? That's so funny. I
might have a type. I might

47
00:03:29.439 --> 00:03:31.000
have a type. Okay, but
go ahead, what do you think?

48
00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:34.800
What do you think my type is? I don't. I don't know,

49
00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:39.000
because to be honest, I haven't
seen you date since my baby daddy.

50
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:42.159
You can say you could say it. I mean, we ain't got to

51
00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:45.360
drop no name. Yeah, I
wasn't gonna drop a name. But I

52
00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:47.039
haven't seen you really date since him, you know what I mean? Like

53
00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:51.800
because I live in Ohio, well
I don't. I live in Virginia,

54
00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:53.719
but i've been you know, we
don't live in the same state, so

55
00:03:53.800 --> 00:04:00.000
it's sometimes it's hard to keep up
with everything. But what do you Okay,

56
00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:01.520
what do you think my type is? And then if you had to

57
00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:03.919
set me up on a blind day, what would you send me up?

58
00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:08.840
Okay? So I think you need
a dude. That's like, how can

59
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:14.159
I say this? There's nothing about
Detroit niggas that like you need you need

60
00:04:14.439 --> 00:04:20.240
somebody with that kind of vibe,
but maybe not, like the energy has

61
00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:23.639
to be different, you know what
I mean. I can't be Detroit,

62
00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:27.639
but it still got to just be
that at the core. Just yeah,

63
00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:31.560
cool, last nigga, because because
I feel like you always like the dudes

64
00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:41.920
that like, what's the word for
it, I don't know, because the

65
00:04:41.959 --> 00:04:55.399
first get it real, it real, right, nasty, It's fine.

66
00:04:55.439 --> 00:05:00.959
I should have just said that.
Okay, wow, weep it out.

67
00:05:01.399 --> 00:05:04.560
We're not bleeping nothing now. But
no, you think that's my type?

68
00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:05.600
No? No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

69
00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:09.839
no, no, I don't think
that's your type. But it's like,

70
00:05:11.800 --> 00:05:14.240
how can I how can I put
it? I don't want to say

71
00:05:14.279 --> 00:05:18.439
like he had just like a certain
like confidence about him, you know,

72
00:05:19.319 --> 00:05:24.240
and I can and I can see
how that was like alluring to you.

73
00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:28.160
You know what I mean? I
do like a confident yeah, like yeah,

74
00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:33.439
yeah, I don't know. He
he gives main character energy. I

75
00:05:33.519 --> 00:05:38.720
like main character energy for sure.
Uh. But he was also very,

76
00:05:38.839 --> 00:05:42.800
very immature, very we were young, though we were he was. That

77
00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:45.800
was the oldest dude that I had
ever talked to. I was eighteen.

78
00:05:45.800 --> 00:05:48.800
He was probably twenty four, but
he was. He acted like he was.

79
00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:51.920
He acted like he was eighteen.
And I was very mature then.

80
00:05:53.079 --> 00:05:58.360
But you know, they say that
men mature much slower than women. Say

81
00:05:58.360 --> 00:06:02.399
that, but I feel like that's
kind of an excuse for men to Yeah,

82
00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:09.519
but they do mature slow as though. But okay, so you would

83
00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:11.680
what type you said? Okay,
what were you saying about? What type

84
00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:15.879
of main character energy? I feel
like I also don't know how to describe

85
00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:23.839
Detroit energy. Oh my god,
they played geeked up and nobody was dancing.

86
00:06:23.879 --> 00:06:26.600
I was like, what the fuck
is going on. I'm like,

87
00:06:26.759 --> 00:06:29.720
Yo, this could not this would
never it would never be like this.

88
00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:38.759
Maybe I don't know, I don't
know. Maybe what I say, you

89
00:06:38.839 --> 00:06:42.360
know, people feel like that's old
now geeked up? Might be. I

90
00:06:42.439 --> 00:06:45.240
mean, I don't know. The
crowd. It was at the real estate

91
00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:47.399
event, so the crowd was a
little older. It wasn't like young.

92
00:06:48.839 --> 00:06:53.800
But I just thought that was crazy. They want to hear sexy red.

93
00:06:54.879 --> 00:07:00.399
I don't think anybody wanted to hear
at that event. No, whatever,

94
00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:03.279
Okay, So main character energy?
What type? You said that you felt

95
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:09.160
like it's a certain type of dude
that I like. I mean, so

96
00:07:09.240 --> 00:07:13.920
what I what I think now?
I think you need someone that's a little

97
00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:21.759
more tapped into the spiritual like I
feel left then, baby, and that's

98
00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:29.040
a little more like introspective and self
aware. So yeah, I'm on the

99
00:07:29.079 --> 00:07:31.160
same way and not yeah, respect, Yeah for sure. Mm hmm.

100
00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:34.720
And then what was the other question
that I asked you? I said,

101
00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:38.839
what type? Or okay, so
what what would you set me up with

102
00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:42.199
if you had to put me on
a blind date? Where would you take

103
00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:45.319
her? Here? What? I
don't I don't know because I don't know

104
00:07:45.399 --> 00:07:47.439
Dallas yet. I mean, you
don't have to just in general, just

105
00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:50.519
what type of thing would you be? Like? Oh, oh see,

106
00:07:50.519 --> 00:07:55.360
I don't know, Jays, because
I don't know if like, are you

107
00:07:55.480 --> 00:07:57.759
like would you? Are you a
paint and sick kind of girl? Would

108
00:07:57.800 --> 00:08:03.800
you do that on a date?
I would do it, but I don't

109
00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:07.279
know for a date a date,
you wouldn't. I mean I would,

110
00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:11.800
but I don't know if I would
want to do that for a first date.

111
00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:16.199
But that's something that I would do. I would do anything that would

112
00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:20.399
provoke conversation. Mm hmm. Okay, she's putting me on a paint and

113
00:08:20.439 --> 00:08:24.000
sit. I mean, I don't
know if I would say that. I

114
00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:26.839
would do that. I guess my
first date, Like if someone planned that

115
00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:31.279
for me, I thought I would
think that's cute. Okay, I'm trying

116
00:08:31.320 --> 00:08:39.480
to think about you. Now,
let's see what is Christina's type? Now,

117
00:08:39.960 --> 00:08:43.799
I really don't have a type.
You said I don't have a TA

118
00:08:43.960 --> 00:08:46.159
I'm trying. She don't. She
don't. And now I'm thinking of the

119
00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:50.960
mental illness flow of her chart right
now. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.

120
00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:54.799
What I'll talk about the dude,
I mean, but still, I

121
00:08:54.799 --> 00:08:56.799
mean, I'm talking about you too, I guess, but no, but

122
00:08:56.919 --> 00:09:01.159
I'm not judging because I look at
my dudes too, and I'd be like,

123
00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:05.080
yeah, can you break that down
from me? Then? What what

124
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:07.840
you mean? Mental illnesspos give me? When I think about the dudes that

125
00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:13.759
you've dated, it's only two in
my head right now. Okay, but

126
00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:24.679
for them, we don't my most
recent act. But I feel like you

127
00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:33.639
need a conversationalist, somebody that you
can really have deep conversation with. You

128
00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.799
want somebody that's not the norm,
some somebody that's different, like that's unique.

129
00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:43.519
Like she's not gonna pop out with
a dude that got all the geared.

130
00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:46.600
Do you know what I'm saying,
She's gonna pop out with somebody different,

131
00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:50.080
Like, Okay, her man is
gonna be a statement piece. I

132
00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:54.720
like that. Yeah, yes,
he's gonna be a statement energy. What

133
00:09:54.879 --> 00:10:01.679
else just I don't know, just
somebody that just do and devils and everything

134
00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:09.720
like into different stuff. Yeah,
just very out of the box. I've

135
00:10:09.759 --> 00:10:15.679
received that, And I think where
you are in your life now, like

136
00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:22.480
you're ready for something serious something?
Yeah, Like do you think like you're

137
00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:26.200
ready for something serious? Absolutely?
I feel like I've been waiting for something

138
00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:28.120
serious this whole time, for a
very long time. But I think I

139
00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:33.679
need to focus on myself as with
the issue is. But my thing is,

140
00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:39.080
I always felt like I wanted to
find my person before I become super

141
00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:41.559
successful, because you know, niggas
be opportunists out here. And I'm like,

142
00:10:41.720 --> 00:10:45.559
but I mean that don't mean that
a nigga can't be opportunist now,

143
00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:50.039
But I just want to be locked
in before everything takes off, because you

144
00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.240
know what, though, I really
think it's less about where you are in

145
00:10:54.279 --> 00:10:58.559
life and more about having discernment.
It's more about like knowing yourself, knowing

146
00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:03.360
which will to put up with,
and being able to have the tools to

147
00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:07.879
discern, you know, if that
person is right for you or not.

148
00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:11.159
You know what I'm saying, Like
the signs are always there. If somebody

149
00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:15.320
is an opportunist, it's gonna be
clear, probably more like sooner than you

150
00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.159
think. So I don't know,
Like, I don't think you should say,

151
00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:20.600
like, oh, I want to
find someone before success, because that's

152
00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:24.519
what I've always seen. But what
if you meet someone just as successful as

153
00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:28.120
you that doesn't need to use it? Hello where you at? You know?

154
00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:33.600
So I'm just saying, like I
wouldn't limit myself with that. I

155
00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:41.039
would really work on developing the discernment
that you need to like filter out those

156
00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:48.440
people that aren't for you. What
is your worst relationship taught you? That

157
00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:52.279
I needed to love myself period,
say say, and I did not.

158
00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:56.720
I'm still working on that every day
for me. Yeah, I mean,

159
00:11:56.799 --> 00:12:01.559
yeah, I think that's a lifelong
journey, you know, so, But

160
00:12:01.799 --> 00:12:05.559
yeah, I think that's what I
learned. And I didn't love myself,

161
00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:11.320
and that's what I'm realizing now that
I'm doing the work. What did your

162
00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:16.440
best relationship teach you? Do you
have a best relationship? I mean,

163
00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:20.440
like, if we're thinking about our
best relationship, I mean I don't have

164
00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:22.399
like a best like this is the
best thing I've ever experienced, but like

165
00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:28.360
the relationship that I feel like I
have the most positive experience with, I

166
00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:33.399
would say it taught me that there
is a person out there that gets you

167
00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:39.159
m hm. You know, like
that's like your vibe, you know hm.

168
00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:43.559
Because I feel like we're still like
friends and we can talk and laugh

169
00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:48.639
and like we have jokes that nobody
ELSEO get, you know, And I

170
00:12:48.679 --> 00:12:52.919
think that that's what's important in a
relationship, you know, what type of

171
00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:58.320
person do you want to be with? That's I mean, it's very broad.

172
00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:01.639
You can answer it in the you
know, in a broad answer.

173
00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:05.200
I'm just I mean, I want
to be with someone who is my friend

174
00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:11.840
and who sees me for me,
who has patience. I definitely need someone

175
00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:20.879
with patience, someone who is kind, somebody who is considerate. Yes,

176
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.919
that's very important to me, you
know. And if you have money,

177
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:28.919
that doesn't hurt. Please have money, pa have money? Who want to

178
00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:31.399
be a step yet It's like no, but no, yeah, that's important.

179
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:33.879
No, I'm not saying money.
I was joking with the money thing,

180
00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:39.120
but no, no, no,
but but no, I mean like

181
00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:43.600
I want someone on my level.
But if he is financially on my level,

182
00:13:43.639 --> 00:13:48.559
but if he's beyond that, I'm
great. But like I don't need

183
00:13:48.559 --> 00:13:50.120
that, but I do need you
to be at my level for sure.

184
00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:54.480
And I don't even mean you have
to make as much money as me,

185
00:13:54.559 --> 00:14:01.600
but like you can have make good
financial decisions, you're in a good space,

186
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:07.600
you're responsible. Like that's important to
me. Okay, Okay, I

187
00:14:07.639 --> 00:14:09.879
had something else that I was about
to ask, but I just look,

188
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:13.840
what about you? Like, I'm
answering what type of man do I want.

189
00:14:15.960 --> 00:14:18.080
I want to be with a creative. I got to be with somebody

190
00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:22.440
that understands my life, my entrepreneurial
life. I got to be with somebody

191
00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:26.080
that is super well, not super
spiritual, but like you said, tapped

192
00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:33.919
in, I gotta be with a
person that's funny as fucked. I do

193
00:14:33.960 --> 00:14:37.240
want a person that's my friend as
well. Like I said, consider it,

194
00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:39.600
I want to be with I want
to be with a man. I

195
00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:46.919
want to be with somebody that takes
the lead, a protector, yes,

196
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:50.720
the provision. Yeah. So like
I want to be with a man like

197
00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:56.440
I don't want you to have to
ask me the questions and all like lead

198
00:14:56.519 --> 00:14:58.960
the way I want to be able
to. You know, men feel like

199
00:14:58.039 --> 00:15:03.320
women don't submit it, but they
do when they when they're around true masculine

200
00:15:03.399 --> 00:15:07.919
energy. You just okay, you
just like you know what I'm saying,

201
00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:13.480
you whatever, but yeah, yeah, and then up and you know,

202
00:15:13.639 --> 00:15:18.000
he gotta be he gotta be a
freak. You know, you gotta have

203
00:15:18.120 --> 00:15:20.360
that. I'm not gonna lie.
You know, it's crazy. I didn't

204
00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:26.919
even think about sex because I'm so
like disconnected from that part of myself right

205
00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:30.840
now, Like I am I'm gonna
say celibate. I'm gonna say that.

206
00:15:31.159 --> 00:15:35.679
I haven't like officially said, oh
I'm so a bit I'm not having sex,

207
00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:39.399
but like I'm definitely in a space
because I have a life coach and

208
00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:43.799
her and I have been working together, and I just you know, it's

209
00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:48.120
it's more about like inviting someone into
your energy, And I don't know if

210
00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:52.639
I want to invite someone into my
energy that doesn't deserve to be there,

211
00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:54.799
period. And that's not even on
those sex tips. That's just across the

212
00:15:54.799 --> 00:16:00.600
board for me, Like if you
disturb my peace, bro, I don't

213
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:06.639
because as I do really desire companionship, but I also am like I might

214
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:10.039
just be cool being by myself.
A lot of people get on my nerves.

215
00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:14.200
A lot of ship gets on my
nerves. Like it's people really think,

216
00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:17.879
like I like to live in my
bubble for real. I don't like

217
00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:19.799
to go outside of it at all. But we get too comfortable in that

218
00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:22.720
bubble, we do. I'm I'm
a little too comfortable. Yeah, that's

219
00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:27.000
why you're coming out after this.
She wants me to go this ain't she

220
00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:33.039
wants your coming It's lit. It's
late, okay, So let's let's take

221
00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:40.440
it back to eight to oh eight. How how we met and all of

222
00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:45.440
that. Let's let's give them the
backstory. What is the backstory? Girl?

223
00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:48.720
It's been a long time. Well
let's start with it. You for

224
00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:56.559
you're originally from Ohio, Columbus,
Ohio. I'm Clumbus, Ohio and so

225
00:16:56.639 --> 00:17:00.799
yeah, so how did you how
did you decide to go to Eastern Michigan

226
00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:06.559
University? As I don't even know
if I want to talk about it,

227
00:17:06.759 --> 00:17:07.920
I mean, you could make it
short and sweet, but I'm just saying,

228
00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:11.079
like, how did you get to
Eastern? You know what I'm saying?

229
00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:15.200
You already know a j Yes,
Oh we're using names. I'm sorry,

230
00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:19.440
I mean you know it's yeah,
so my boyfriend, my high school

231
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.240
boyfriend, went there, and you
know what, when I look back,

232
00:17:22.359 --> 00:17:26.559
I'm like, that was a very
stupid fucking decision. And I'm low key

233
00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:30.799
mad at my mom for like allowing
it. You know, she's mad at

234
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:42.440
you, Shank, I'm not I
excor her my, but no, I'm

235
00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:45.680
not mad at her. But it's
just like, you know, sometimes like,

236
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:47.759
hell, no, you're not going
for a boy. But she was

237
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:48.839
just like, if that's where you
want to go. I'm not going to

238
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.720
stop you. But but yeah,
my high school boyfriend I went there and

239
00:17:53.759 --> 00:17:57.119
how many years older than you will
see two two years So he was at

240
00:17:57.119 --> 00:18:00.680
Eastern for two years already. No, he too right state in Ohio.

241
00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:06.720
First I was like in Dayton,
and then he went there for his friends.

242
00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:11.680
Yeah, I mean it's cool,
it's whatever, it's whatever. So

243
00:18:11.799 --> 00:18:15.359
his you know, friends in there. So but you know, all the

244
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:18.559
time, I think about if I
didn't go, she would have never met

245
00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:22.359
me. Exactly. We wouldn't be
here right now doing this. We wouldn't.

246
00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:26.119
So and I and I've met some
amazing people, Like I still talk

247
00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:30.519
to all my friends from bess mm
hmm, you know boom shout out to

248
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:37.920
selling off ways. It's so funny
because all of the people that I'm friends

249
00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:41.079
with on Instagram right now that went
to Eastern, that lived on the fourth

250
00:18:41.119 --> 00:18:45.640
floor cellars, like I probably talked
to them more on Instagram and stuff now,

251
00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.680
Like I didn't really talk to those
girls when we was there, but

252
00:18:47.720 --> 00:18:51.799
shout out to them. But okay, Sellers was where it was that it

253
00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:53.799
wasn't but where was the stupid in
front of We was always in front of

254
00:18:53.839 --> 00:19:00.440
Sellers where I wasn't. I wasn't. It's okay, it's I had a

255
00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:03.440
different experience. It's so funny,
like all the time she's like, do

256
00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:07.000
you remember, and I'm like,
no, I don't remember anyone. I

257
00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:15.880
only really it's just y'all. You
know. Eastern for me was just you

258
00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:18.480
know, I had a great time. I love you guys, and I

259
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:22.839
feel like, had it not been
for our group, I probably would have

260
00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:29.480
I wouldn't have gone back sophomore year. But freshman year was wild crazy.

261
00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:41.319
It's the cabinet shout out to be
Jackie and t Field. We have so

262
00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:45.799
many gangs, so many gangs.
Okay, so you went because of a

263
00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:52.400
j So what okay? So you
was Camille the first person that you met?

264
00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:56.000
Mm hm yeah. How did that
happen? Till the stuff? She

265
00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:00.839
was so initially I sayed across the
hall from her because I stay with that

266
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:06.119
girl. Rachel. Damn? Oh
was my girl named Rachel? Rachel?

267
00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:08.759
Rachel? No? What was your
girl? Oh, Jennifer? Her name

268
00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:18.960
was Jennifer Rachel, Jennifer Dobranski.
Today, So you was in beast?

269
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:25.160
Rachel was comales were made? Okay? We all had white rooms. Why

270
00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:27.720
did they do that. We were
the only people though, Like I kid

271
00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:32.200
you not. When I saw her
picture, I started crying. I was

272
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:34.079
like, what why would they do
this to me? Everybody else in my

273
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:38.440
uh, in my dorm and sellers, everybody else was clicked up with all

274
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:41.880
the black people, and they gave
me a white roommate. I was like,

275
00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:42.960
Oh, this is gonna be interesting. Nothing against white people, You're

276
00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:47.599
right, but it was just weird. Yeah, it was a cultural thing

277
00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:49.839
that like, I don't think any
of us were prepared for, you know,

278
00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:53.559
because I just remembered Camille, like
She's like, this was just cooking

279
00:20:53.599 --> 00:21:00.799
carrots in America. And my roommate
was cheating on her her boyfriend. I

280
00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:03.400
feel bad for chat And I'm like, your hair her out. You got

281
00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:11.440
the naz and everything, Jennifer,
that's an area shut out. But no,

282
00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:15.279
my roommate was having sex with her
boyfriend often. He did not go

283
00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:19.960
to Eastern and it used to smell
really bad after yeah, oh wow.

284
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:22.640
And they used to have hair all
on the walls in the bathroom. My

285
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:26.680
roommates hair used to was in my
panty drawer. She had red hair.

286
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:29.319
I'm like, why is your hair
my panty red? Hair. It's like,

287
00:21:29.480 --> 00:21:32.920
oh my god, it was bad
after the two weeks because you know,

288
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:36.279
you couldn't like change rooms the first
two weeks. After the two weeks,

289
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:38.599
I'm like, I'm like, I
got to get the fuck out of

290
00:21:38.599 --> 00:21:41.839
hair. And then night they put
me with the volleyball girl. I can't

291
00:21:41.839 --> 00:21:45.920
remember her name. I lived down
the hall. She was water Black's white,

292
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:51.720
and but she was hardly there because
she always had volleyball games. Embarrassing

293
00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:57.400
story, but she she took a
ship and she sprayed like so much air

294
00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:00.920
freshener. I almost threw. But
now, like every time I smell that

295
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:04.480
air freshener, it just like makes
me sick and think about that, and

296
00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:07.839
I was just like, I don't
want to be in this. So me

297
00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:11.000
and Camille, as we got closer, we just decided like it made more

298
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.200
sense for us to swap. And
Rachel was the volleyball girls. Not for

299
00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:19.240
you, for those of you that
don't know, me and Camille actually went

300
00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:22.160
to high school together. We went
to girls together, but we wasn't that

301
00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:26.920
close or that cool in high school. I mean, it wasn't no beefer

302
00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:29.359
it we just wasn't cool like that
for real. I mean we spoke and

303
00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:33.160
shit, but what was on cheerleading
team, but we just wasn't cool like

304
00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:36.039
that. And then we got to
college. I don't know, I guess

305
00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:40.200
since that was like one of the
only people that I knew for in Ivory.

306
00:22:38.599 --> 00:22:42.319
I was very close to Ivory back
then, and like now, it's

307
00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:47.160
just I think Ivy just created some
distance with all of us, because I

308
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:48.720
mean, I think we still talks
to Dory, but I haven't heard from

309
00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:52.599
him in like a year at least. I feel like definitely in high school

310
00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:57.359
and it was a lot of times
just even after Eastern, like I felt

311
00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:02.359
like I was cool Ivory. Yeah, but anyway, me and Camille was

312
00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:04.680
high school, so okay, yeah, to get found on how we met,

313
00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:07.279
So okay, do you remember the
first day we met? No,

314
00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:11.839
but I'll tell you how. I'll
tell you what I remember. So it

315
00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:15.559
was the very first day. My
mom and my great grandmother were dropping me

316
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:22.200
off and we were about to go
to the convo and Camille, her parents

317
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:25.759
had already left, and I don't
know, she was locking her door at

318
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:26.960
the same time, like we were
locking our like I was locking my door,

319
00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:29.640
and she said something. We're like, oh, do you want to

320
00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:33.160
write with us and she was like
sure, and we became friends after that.

321
00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:40.519
Somber. I remember that, and
then I have pictures. Well they're

322
00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:44.079
on Facebook, you know, we
had all the pictures on. But I

323
00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:48.279
think like y'all had connected through knowing
each other from high school. And we

324
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:53.200
went to alex in AJ's house and
I remember that when we was making us,

325
00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:56.720
making them get us the liquor,
not when we got pulled over,

326
00:23:56.920 --> 00:24:00.200
and I was mad because they wouldn't. Really, they were being real petty

327
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:04.480
with the liquor, like bro,
like I don't know, and I think

328
00:24:04.519 --> 00:24:07.319
they probably got some great goose or
something, but I'm just they were just

329
00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:10.759
being real petty with them. I'm
like, bro, stop saying that y'all

330
00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:12.759
want to buy the liquor, and
y'all don't. I don't remember that.

331
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:15.839
I just remember we went to the
house. It was like not early in

332
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:21.160
the year, and we went there
and because you remember Nikki and Amber,

333
00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:25.119
yeah, okay, we were all
there with them, because they're from Columbus

334
00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:29.000
too. And because I have the
pictures, I wish I still have Facebook

335
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:33.240
because I wish. Yeah, yeah, she has so many that that was

336
00:24:33.319 --> 00:24:41.359
bad. Oh eight was like when
people had photo albums for days on album

337
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:45.960
and we had so many photo albums
on there. Bro from Eastern was a

338
00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:49.599
good fucking time. Bro, it
was a good time. So yeah,

339
00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:56.200
we I don't know, we like
just got super cool through Camill. Yeah,

340
00:24:56.240 --> 00:25:00.480
through Camille and then we had the
the gang. We had the guys.

341
00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:04.119
We had Joe I was a ra. Joe was an r A.

342
00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:10.839
Joe was the ra bestball. I
didn't first of all, I didn't spend

343
00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:12.039
a lot of time in my dorm, and I didn't spend a lot of

344
00:25:12.039 --> 00:25:18.480
time at Eastern, not not freshman
year. Yeah, and that's the thing.

345
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:21.920
I never talked to nobody at Easter, not for real, like I

346
00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:26.480
think, not seriously talked to her
dated nobody like me neither. Well,

347
00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:30.319
you know where my hair was?
And we're not saying his name on are

348
00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:34.559
you saying the group name? No, Okay, we'll leave it at that.

349
00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:38.880
Uh So we got really cool through
coming in, we said Joe.

350
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:48.839
So the gang was like Joe Dory
Ivory Seal Camille. Yeah, Joe L's

351
00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:56.599
tease raving. Yep, Yep.
It was the gang that was the gang.

352
00:25:57.799 --> 00:26:03.200
I'm trying to what was Eastern was
so fucking crazy? Bro, and

353
00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:10.759
then it branched off into another group. It was me and you, Camille

354
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:15.319
and the mirror, and that was
crazy. So I'm trying to think when

355
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:22.640
did we Did we start going to
watch immediately or was that like it was

356
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.039
so okay? So I think the
first thing was we got our tattoos.

357
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:32.200
It was like very shout out to
Wayne, all of my tests, he's

358
00:26:32.200 --> 00:26:34.640
gotten a lot better because I'm gonna
be honest, don't do him like that.

359
00:26:34.839 --> 00:26:38.799
My first tattoo is my I would
if he you know what, I

360
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:44.039
should go back to Detroit and see
if he can redo it. Just the

361
00:26:44.119 --> 00:26:45.519
carpet deal. Yes, I mean, what's wrong with it? Bro?

362
00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:51.039
Look at this ship she talking bad
about? No, no, no,

363
00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:57.519
no, this was a million years
ago. Oh yeah, okay, but

364
00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:03.119
my daddy dad still look good.
It looks straight. Yeah, or maybe

365
00:27:03.279 --> 00:27:07.720
I got I get the VIP treatment. So I don't know, but that

366
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:11.200
was a long time ago. I
mean, clearly he's better. Yeah,

367
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:15.720
I'll give him grace. I'm trying
to think so that time and that that

368
00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:21.279
was the whole Facebook album too,
when we first got our tattoos. When

369
00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:23.839
you got that tattoo, did Camille
get a tattoo that day too, got

370
00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:33.799
her cancer on her time. That
was a separate time. That was because

371
00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:38.079
we went on Valentine. Remember it
was Valentine's That's yeah. So we went

372
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:42.480
on Valentine's Day and I no,
I didn't get this, did we?

373
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:48.200
But I remember it being Valentine's Day? And I remember we had left and

374
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:49.240
then I turned around and went back, and then I got my dad's name

375
00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:52.519
on my wrist. I don't think
you got a tattoo the first time,

376
00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:56.119
That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
I think it's just me and Camille.

377
00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:59.319
And then but on Valentine's Day,
I don't know. I think I came

378
00:27:59.400 --> 00:28:00.759
up on some money. All of
a sudden, I'm like, well,

379
00:28:00.759 --> 00:28:02.559
I want to get tattooed. And
I went back and I didn't know what

380
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:04.319
to get. Got my dad's name. Cool. You know. The reason

381
00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:07.880
why I remember is Valentine's because that's
when So Far Gone came out. Wow,

382
00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:11.680
well it was like the day after
the fifty we went and got our

383
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:15.519
tattoos. But yeah, yeah,
and then so we got the start.

384
00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:19.240
Was the first time I smoked weed? Wow? Wow, it was y'all.

385
00:28:19.880 --> 00:28:29.799
And I want to say who it
was? Who brought the shout out

386
00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:36.680
to Dionte like I followed him on
something. That's what Deontay. Deontay was

387
00:28:36.759 --> 00:28:41.319
like. Deonce was two years older
than me and like I never talked to

388
00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:44.839
him or nothing like that. But
I ain't gonna lie. Deontay was that

389
00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:48.839
nigga like it? I was like, why the hell are we smoking?

390
00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:53.359
I don't know, I don't know. That wasn't the first time I had

391
00:28:53.359 --> 00:29:00.000
smoked. But yeah, that's my
deal. Why the poor memory? Okay?

392
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:03.759
But I was saying, did we
go to Watts right away? Was

393
00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:07.119
that a thing? I don't remember? But I remember being early because I

394
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:11.960
was spending my graduation money in the
strip club. Let me tell you something

395
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:15.119
first of all. First of all, Watts was like a whole initiation process.

396
00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:19.680
If you're from Detroit, you know
that wats Mozonbique and Henry's were two

397
00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:26.319
mail strip clubs that used to go
crazy. So it was like an initiation

398
00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:32.079
process for us. Because Kamani who
Camille is also super cool with Kamani.

399
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:34.880
So KAMMANI graduated six, she was
the first one to go to Watts.

400
00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:38.799
Then Megan graduated, oh seven,
she started going to WATS. Then I

401
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:41.839
graduated Ohaight and me and committ like
it was like I don't know, we

402
00:29:42.039 --> 00:29:47.680
and we stayed in the strip club, bro in the mail strip club bro

403
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:52.640
spending money. I did not have
no money than then and I okay,

404
00:29:52.680 --> 00:29:56.839
so when she said drake nasty earlier, Yeah, that's like, bro,

405
00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:03.480
oh my, do you remember when
we stopped and she uh got the money

406
00:30:03.480 --> 00:30:08.599
out of the We was so thirsty. It's giving crackhead. Wait no,

407
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:12.079
no, because that is that's not
no crackcashit that's that is dope that she

408
00:30:12.279 --> 00:30:15.920
had the ability to do that.
But I'm saying she took the money so

409
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:19.599
we could do what go to the
strip club. I mean that's what I'm

410
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:23.119
saying. Like we never was at
Eastern. We was at fucking Watts and

411
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:29.000
my g p A was like at
one point seven. The first was the

412
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:30.960
only one who had a car come
on. I mean she had a car,

413
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:34.160
but they wouldn't let her bring it
on campus. So we was d

414
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:37.720
We was in Ensilanti, but we
was driving to the tu We were driving

415
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:42.480
off Finkle. Okay, best one
of my best memory broke Thursdays was the

416
00:30:42.599 --> 00:30:48.160
night that's what that's what we used
to call it. Broke Thursdays. Best

417
00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:56.559
memory when Obama got elected. This
night, bro bro we were on a

418
00:30:56.599 --> 00:31:00.759
freeway niggas was taking out the day
we got a black brother. We brought

419
00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:03.400
that to the liquor car like we
got a black president, which went to

420
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:10.720
drink that night. Oh my god, I swear I remember Cameil being on

421
00:31:10.759 --> 00:31:15.240
the ground the next day throwing up
wow, yes, wow, I would

422
00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:18.640
never drink aten. Oh sidebar.
That's what I was gonna say about the

423
00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:22.839
star tattoo. I don't know.
I don't know why. I was about

424
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.480
to incorporate that into the car accident. Like with my car, we was

425
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:29.960
driving on the ice or the snow. I thought we just spun out.

426
00:31:30.359 --> 00:31:33.039
Did you hit your car? I
don't know. I don't know, But

427
00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:38.000
whatever, did your car have a
name? No, but to the avaline

428
00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:42.000
right, the Toyota aveline. It
was that that boy held on for long.

429
00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:45.160
And that's what my That is one
thing that my dad taught me,

430
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:45.960
was like, Jaz, when you
need to get you a good car,

431
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:49.799
Toyota is a good car. It's
gonna last. Okay, Yeah, it

432
00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:53.160
was a good car. But is
that why we got the star tattoos?

433
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:59.240
Because we had survive that traumatic event. They had a traumatic little spin out

434
00:31:59.279 --> 00:32:01.559
on the freeway. Where are we
going? Where are we going to Michigan

435
00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:07.680
State? Were we Yeah, you're
dropping somebody off there? No, that

436
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:13.400
was a different Oh was that the
time? I think so my best friend

437
00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:16.759
Chelsea, I feel like, no, no, no, no, because

438
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:21.160
I remember one time she begged me
to take her boyfriend back to school and

439
00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:23.359
he went to school. Was it
that. I don't think that. I

440
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:27.200
think that was a different time.
But my car, I oh, it

441
00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:30.200
might have been. It might have
been I think Doron was in the car

442
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:32.720
to rest in peace, Steve.
But yeah, she wanted me to take

443
00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:36.519
her boyfriend back to school. I
think it was Steve and Doryan. It

444
00:32:36.599 --> 00:32:38.240
might have been Mark too. I
don't know. They don't have many people,

445
00:32:38.279 --> 00:32:42.279
but I don't know. I remember
taking niggas back to school and I'm

446
00:32:42.359 --> 00:32:47.319
like, wow, not I yeah, fucked my car up, but yeah,

447
00:32:47.599 --> 00:32:51.599
back to why stuff because we're not
done with that? Like that was

448
00:32:51.759 --> 00:32:53.799
no, because that was the whole
thing. That was a whole thing.

449
00:32:54.279 --> 00:33:00.160
Like I feel like you guys are
a little more invested in the always Oh

450
00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:07.119
really, yeah, I mean I
think so too, But I was there

451
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:14.599
you little strip. No, not
really, not for real, not how

452
00:33:14.680 --> 00:33:17.200
me and Commune didn't. Yeah,
but yeah, that was a crazy that

453
00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:21.319
could have been a crazy time in
life because mind you, like I said,

454
00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:25.680
I was eighteen, he was twenty
four, had five kids, four

455
00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:30.240
baby mamas. Like that's how you
know you just be doing shit when you're

456
00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:34.359
young, Because what was I even
doing in that situation. I always look

457
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:37.440
back like, thank god I ain't
had no baby or like, yeah,

458
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:45.200
five kids out twenty four, it's
crazy, crazy, crazy that nigga don't

459
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:51.519
even know the word condom. He
did, he didn't, he didn't.

460
00:33:52.359 --> 00:33:55.559
Yeah, that was that was a
wild time and life. But no,

461
00:33:55.720 --> 00:34:00.160
like I said, I I feel
like we never spend time at Eastern.

462
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:04.160
Yeah, I didn't really go to
any parties. We didn't go to no

463
00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:10.159
parties. We was always at Watts. That's crazy. What else did we

464
00:34:10.239 --> 00:34:14.159
used to be doing? That was
just like a classic little dry. We

465
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:19.480
used to always get White Castle at
the end of the night when you on

466
00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:27.000
campus, we order Jimmy John's,
like every day Jimmy John. I only

467
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:32.679
remember going to one party at Eastern
Studio four it might have been Studio for

468
00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:38.639
I think that was only but that
was it, but we didn't used to

469
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:46.400
just kick it in a lounge that
was really played club games. And I'm

470
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:50.880
trying to think what else. A
lot happened at Eastern, but dang,

471
00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:57.079
then we all like conspiracy theorists.
Yeah, we went through our little illuminati

472
00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:02.320
face. I think everybody did that. Second year, you ended up where

473
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:05.880
did you stay? What was the
name of it? Hell, you stayed

474
00:35:05.920 --> 00:35:09.559
in Hill And I was in an
apartment with two roommates, and that went

475
00:35:09.880 --> 00:35:15.760
that went south. I don't know, I ain't gonna lie. I just

476
00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:17.760
felt like I felt like people started
hating on me because I had got a

477
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:22.159
boyfriend, which was crazy because other
people, when you say hating on you

478
00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:27.320
with I mean, people just got
weird, like wasn't inviting me. Y'all

479
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:30.920
just started acting very weird. You
know what I'm saying, The whole energy

480
00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:35.239
in the crib chain, Like I
don't know, but it don't that doesn't

481
00:35:35.239 --> 00:35:37.880
necessarily have to be because I got
a boyfriend, because it was other shit

482
00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:40.800
with that too, Like that had
came up when people was like, oh

483
00:35:42.159 --> 00:35:45.960
you you you hanging with her,
da da da, but you like you

484
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:47.559
was talking shit about her before y'all
even got cool, like it was a

485
00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:52.800
whole little thing, and I'm like, what it was crazy, But is

486
00:35:52.800 --> 00:35:55.199
that what happened? No, I
mean that was just something that came up,

487
00:35:57.199 --> 00:36:00.880
like cause you know, she was
always switching all the time, so

488
00:36:02.159 --> 00:36:12.440
we talking about b so okay.
I mean it's weird because when we're that

489
00:36:12.599 --> 00:36:15.599
young, like when I reflect back
on my high school self and like think

490
00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:20.519
about things that happened in friendships,
I can totally see how insecure I was

491
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:23.199
and how I was just immature.
And I mean, obviously we're young,

492
00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:28.599
like you know, but I didn't
know myself and I can look back at

493
00:36:28.599 --> 00:36:31.239
certain situations and say, like I
was not a great friend, you know.

494
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:37.719
So I wonder if it was just
some of that like I think you

495
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:42.239
guys had you and her had strong
energy, like just a strong presence in

496
00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:46.639
general, and I felt like there
was always like some level of competition,

497
00:36:49.719 --> 00:36:52.320
yeah, to some extent, and
I feel like I didn't feel like it

498
00:36:52.360 --> 00:36:54.519
was on my part, So I
always just thought it was weird, like

499
00:36:57.239 --> 00:37:01.840
there is something about it wasn't ever
just like I feel like between the three

500
00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:05.440
of us, like me, you
and Camille, there was just like a

501
00:37:05.559 --> 00:37:09.280
balance of energy, like we all
had our own distinct personalities and like,

502
00:37:10.280 --> 00:37:15.920
you know, like we were just
different, and I think that you and

503
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:22.320
her had, if maybe not necessarily
similar personalities, but and maybe to some

504
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:24.960
degree that's why y'all got cool.
But like I feel like y'all like some

505
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.199
of the same niggas might have tried
to fuck with y'all or it was that

506
00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:31.360
kind of energy, like you know
what I mean. And I feel like

507
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:36.679
when we're that young and we don't
really we may not understand what it means

508
00:37:36.679 --> 00:37:38.679
to be a good friend, or
maybe we're doing something out of insecurity,

509
00:37:38.679 --> 00:37:43.599
but we're not realizing we could do
better, you know what I'm saying.

510
00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:46.039
We kind of blame it on the
other person or oh, she's jealous,

511
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:51.360
and it's really it could be that, but it also could be other things

512
00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:54.360
that we're doing we're not realizing.
I think that I don't know that when

513
00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:57.480
I reflect back on that time,
that's kind of what it feels like.

514
00:37:57.519 --> 00:38:01.159
It probably was. Yeah, it
was very wild. The second year was

515
00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:07.519
lit to though, especially in the
beginning. The beginning, I just like

516
00:38:07.719 --> 00:38:12.400
y'all had y'all's apartment, so it's
just like, yeah, yeah, you

517
00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:15.760
know, it wasn't like the dorms. Yeah, it has some freedom.

518
00:38:15.239 --> 00:38:23.519
It was lit. Niggas almost died. And Ship remember Mirror he was there.

519
00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:30.239
We was like smoking and ship and
a Mirror's homeboy. I don't know.

520
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:32.000
He like started tweaking out. Maybe
he fell out the chair or some

521
00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:35.599
ship. They was like, wake
him up, put some water on the

522
00:38:35.679 --> 00:38:37.920
pace, somebody to put a rag
on his face. She's like, that

523
00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:43.679
was my pussy. Rag was like, oh my god, it was wild.

524
00:38:44.079 --> 00:38:47.079
It was wild. That reminds me
of when I freaked out too,

525
00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:51.239
though, what the hell are we
smoking? That must have been some strong

526
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:55.000
ass. When did you freak out? Okay, we're at your ear apartment.

527
00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:59.480
I needed some air, so I
opened the window and I stuck my

528
00:38:59.519 --> 00:39:01.280
face out the It was a big
ass spider web. Okay, you know,

529
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:07.519
I'm I told Spiderder, I'm definitely
afraid of spiders. Okay. As

530
00:39:07.559 --> 00:39:09.559
soon as I felt that shit on
my face, I immediately started throwing up,

531
00:39:09.719 --> 00:39:13.280
like I just my body could not
take it. No, no,

532
00:39:13.320 --> 00:39:15.119
you don't remember that part. I
went to the bathroom, you know,

533
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:20.800
and then I started freaking out and
y'all had to drive me back to the

534
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:24.039
dorm right and then there was a
cop had somebody pulled over on whatever that

535
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:27.599
street was, you know that like
streaked that curve or the train tracks were

536
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:30.760
you know talking about. I don't
know if that's streets called, but y'all

537
00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:32.639
taking me back to him, and
I'm freaking out, like, oh my

538
00:39:32.679 --> 00:39:35.559
god, we're gonna get pulled over. Oh my god, like he's gonna

539
00:39:35.559 --> 00:39:38.239
find home. And then I get
into bed. I'm like, please save

540
00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:42.159
me to the hospital, and You're
like, go asleep, like we're not

541
00:39:42.199 --> 00:39:47.000
taking it. You don't remember that, No, bro, that I was

542
00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:51.039
like, oh, yeah, we
might not be for me. I still

543
00:39:51.079 --> 00:39:52.679
smoke though, but oh you do
still smell. No, No, I

544
00:39:52.679 --> 00:39:58.079
still smoked after Oh, I about
say, because Chrsini used to get high.

545
00:39:58.159 --> 00:40:00.280
I mean, I'll hit it here
and there. I realized I can't

546
00:40:00.280 --> 00:40:07.719
see it. I'm talking about me, but I realized I can't smoke to

547
00:40:07.719 --> 00:40:13.280
the Teva though. Yeah, I
don't like I'm in I say. I

548
00:40:13.320 --> 00:40:16.280
was about to say my baby name. Whenever I have a daughter, I'm

549
00:40:16.280 --> 00:40:20.639
gonna name her Indigo. I was
about to say, but India, Yeah

550
00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:28.199
that's cute, and Indigo like that, I feel like you could go I

551
00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:30.960
mean, yeah, just noise.
No, I just I feel like I

552
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:34.559
don't want to fuck up the video. I mean, if you really gotta

553
00:40:34.599 --> 00:40:36.960
go, you can go. Try
to hold it. But we still got

554
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:38.480
some time. Don't getting no ut? I fucking around with me? I

555
00:40:40.559 --> 00:40:49.960
know my bladder? Wow? What
else? Yeah? I mean I left

556
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:55.079
Eastern after the first semester sophomore year, after the first Yeah, I is

557
00:40:55.159 --> 00:40:59.360
not doing well. Yeah, I
had a lot of ship going on.

558
00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:04.920
I needed to go back home.
I guess she doesn't want to elaborate.

559
00:41:05.559 --> 00:41:07.639
My grandfather died. I was sick, like I had the swine flu or

560
00:41:07.639 --> 00:41:12.039
whatever the fuck was going on.
I thought I was. I was getting

561
00:41:12.079 --> 00:41:15.679
sick a lot up there, like
I don't know, I don't swine flu

562
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:19.159
throwback as fucked. I didn't have
swine food, but they were just like,

563
00:41:19.199 --> 00:41:21.559
oh, if you're sick, don't
come in class. And I was

564
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:23.480
sick for a minute because remember I
was sick at the end of freshman year

565
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:25.639
too, because we have a picture. I was laying on the bed.

566
00:41:25.679 --> 00:41:28.519
We were about to go out,
and I still went out even though I

567
00:41:28.599 --> 00:41:30.679
was sick. Wow, I don't
remember that either. Life is a blur.

568
00:41:31.079 --> 00:41:34.760
I see a blur, and I
thought my memory, my memory is

569
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:38.239
bad. But yeah, so you
said that was the second year I left.

570
00:41:38.760 --> 00:41:45.719
I went the second year. Did
you finish like second semester? I

571
00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:50.960
finished the last semester. I remember. I found out that I was pregnant

572
00:41:51.039 --> 00:41:55.480
in June twenty ten. Yep,
and I was still going to school and

573
00:41:55.519 --> 00:42:00.519
shit whatever. Yeah, so that's
why ya know out y'all know that story.

574
00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:05.199
But yeah, Eastern was cool.
So after all of that, we

575
00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:08.480
still stayed in contact. We still
stay cool. I just I remember you

576
00:42:08.519 --> 00:42:13.599
were my first friend that got pregnant, and I just fe was like,

577
00:42:14.039 --> 00:42:19.199
yeah, best. Then he got
pregnant in twenty eleven, twelve years okay,

578
00:42:19.559 --> 00:42:22.679
the first friend that got pregnant,
and she came through. Tell the

579
00:42:22.679 --> 00:42:23.960
story about when you came to say, I just that's what I was about

580
00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:27.280
to talk about, Like, no, yeah, she came through. Now

581
00:42:27.320 --> 00:42:29.400
mind you, like she lives in
another state and all that, and I

582
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:32.920
don't even remember what happened, Like
what that made you? Just like I

583
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:36.960
was like, oh my baby shop
was like this this weekends today, and

584
00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:43.079
she just came and just cashed out
with the target, bought everything. Yeah,

585
00:42:43.119 --> 00:42:45.280
because that's what I'm saying. You're
my first friend that got pregnant.

586
00:42:45.280 --> 00:42:47.519
So I'm just like, I'm about
to show up for my friend like we

587
00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:52.320
got a baby coming, real friend
style that a like, oh this is

588
00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:55.800
the first one. I gotta I
gotta do something. And that's what I'll

589
00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:01.079
say. I feel like we've seen
each other in so many different phases of

590
00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:06.840
our life and of our womanhood,
like she's seen it every step of the

591
00:43:06.880 --> 00:43:09.039
way, even if we, you
know, go times like you know,

592
00:43:09.079 --> 00:43:14.280
where we don't talk or whatever,
because people have lives. I hate when

593
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:16.840
people be on that like, oh
my god, I don't talk to you

594
00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:21.400
every day, like we're way too
go for that. Yeah, but no,

595
00:43:21.519 --> 00:43:28.480
we've definitely seen each other in very
many different iterations of ourselves and of

596
00:43:28.519 --> 00:43:36.519
our growth and journey. Yeah,
setbacks, yeah all that. So yeah,

597
00:43:36.599 --> 00:43:40.239
do you believe that people like really
change or do you believe like people

598
00:43:40.280 --> 00:43:45.039
are who they are at the core. I definitely believe that people are who

599
00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:51.719
they are at their core. But
I think that I think people can evolve.

600
00:43:52.039 --> 00:43:57.960
I think I think that there are
hurt versions of people and healed versions

601
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:02.599
of people, and I and and
that's not even all encompassing, right,

602
00:44:02.719 --> 00:44:07.440
Like you can be healed in one
aspect of your life and still hurt in

603
00:44:07.480 --> 00:44:12.519
another. And I think that killed
in one aspect or how one another.

604
00:44:12.679 --> 00:44:17.519
Okay I say that, but okay, that's true. I'm it's real.

605
00:44:17.639 --> 00:44:22.039
That's real. Same, That's that's
some real shit, because I mean,

606
00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:25.880
I'm here with Nao, me Kaylanie. We've been friends since middle school,

607
00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:30.679
and I believe, like Naomi is
still the same girl I met in middle

608
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:34.840
school, but she has changed so
much. She's evolved, you know,

609
00:44:35.159 --> 00:44:37.880
the same thing with Kaylannie. Like
they're still the same at their core,

610
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:42.039
and that's why we're still able to
be friends because we connect on that level.

611
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:47.360
But they're they're different people. They're
adults, you know, and they're

612
00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:53.800
they're evolved versions of themselves. I
wrote something down yesterday friends, and I

613
00:44:53.800 --> 00:44:58.559
think that's us too, you know, hmm. Where we have grown,

614
00:44:59.480 --> 00:45:04.559
we have a and luckily we've been
able to grow together. Because that's that's

615
00:45:04.599 --> 00:45:07.400
what I wrote down yesterday about outgrowing
your friends. How many of your friends

616
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:15.599
have you outgrown? That's that's tough
for me. So I mean, obviously

617
00:45:15.599 --> 00:45:20.679
I have friends I'm not friends with
anymore. And there are some people that

618
00:45:22.719 --> 00:45:25.000
I'll say this, I have a
really hard time letting go of people.

619
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:32.119
I am a person that really values
friendship and connection, and I think that's

620
00:45:32.159 --> 00:45:36.599
why I'm able to have friends from
middle school, from college, from all

621
00:45:36.599 --> 00:45:39.000
these different eraas of my life,
like Taco team, and you know what

622
00:45:39.039 --> 00:45:44.320
I mean, Like just all these
different groups of friends that I have,

623
00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:52.320
I'm still friends with them ten fifteen, now twenty years later. But I

624
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:58.719
do think that we are different.
I think I think I'm able to connect

625
00:45:58.719 --> 00:46:05.599
with people at their like essence.
But I don't know if everybody is on

626
00:46:05.880 --> 00:46:08.719
the journey with me, Like you
know what I mean. Like I have

627
00:46:08.760 --> 00:46:13.039
a friend, I love her dearly, but every time I talk to her,

628
00:46:13.159 --> 00:46:15.480
energy is so chaotic, and I
feel like when I was in my

629
00:46:15.559 --> 00:46:20.440
chaotic energy, we were like best
dage trauma bonded. Yeah, no seriously,

630
00:46:20.639 --> 00:46:24.920
like she used to say, we
were like twin flames. And and

631
00:46:27.039 --> 00:46:29.679
I don't now when I talk to
her, I'm just I feel drained,

632
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.880
like I don't really want to talk
to her anymore. And I love her,

633
00:46:34.719 --> 00:46:37.559
but it's more of like I have
to love you from a distance,

634
00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:43.679
and if I see you, it's
love always. But I'm not friend like

635
00:46:43.719 --> 00:46:47.400
a sandbox friend or no, not
like day one, but we we really

636
00:46:47.440 --> 00:46:52.119
we went through some stuff together,
and I don't know, like I feel

637
00:46:52.159 --> 00:46:57.320
like when I make connections with people, I make deep connections. But yeah,

638
00:46:57.320 --> 00:46:59.719
she was someone that I care about
and I still care about her.

639
00:46:59.760 --> 00:47:04.880
But any day one friends that you're
not friends with anymore, or like somebody

640
00:47:04.920 --> 00:47:07.360
that you want to that. We
was in kindergarten together, and not kindergarten

641
00:47:07.519 --> 00:47:12.440
because I moved a lot in elementary
school, like I went to like five

642
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:17.559
different elementary schools or four, But
so I didn't start really making my friendship

643
00:47:17.559 --> 00:47:22.880
connections until middle school. But I'm
still friends with almost all my middle school

644
00:47:22.880 --> 00:47:25.800
friends now. Obviously there are some
times I'm not. But and we grew

645
00:47:25.840 --> 00:47:32.159
apart, like around college because I
was smoking and drinking it fucking you know

646
00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:36.599
wow, and some of them were
just not on that. So it's just

647
00:47:36.599 --> 00:47:40.119
like, you know, but yeah, wow, a lot of us still

648
00:47:40.239 --> 00:47:45.199
are friends, and I really value
that. What do you do when your

649
00:47:45.239 --> 00:47:50.920
life becomes completely different than your friends, like so for example, with me,

650
00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:52.960
I became a mom at twenty one, but that didn't stop us from

651
00:47:53.039 --> 00:47:55.360
being friends. You know what I'm
saying. Are there any friends in your

652
00:47:55.360 --> 00:47:58.840
life where it's like, dang,
were just not on the same stuff.

653
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:07.079
Or again, I feel like it's
like I'm able to meet people where they

654
00:48:07.239 --> 00:48:09.920
are right and not to say like
and I hope that doesn't come across as

655
00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:14.400
like above or below. It's not
that. It's like, if what you

656
00:48:14.480 --> 00:48:19.480
want to do is hang out and
go to in and Out and get a

657
00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:22.360
burger, then cool, I'm down
for that. I'm only saying that because

658
00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:27.159
I really want some in there.
I had in it out today and out.

659
00:48:28.519 --> 00:48:31.639
I need it before I go.
But that's cool, Like I'm down

660
00:48:31.719 --> 00:48:35.079
for that. If I have a
friend I wants to go to Bali,

661
00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:39.159
I'm done for that too. So
like whatever it is, I'm I'll meet

662
00:48:39.159 --> 00:48:42.599
you where you are if I still
feel like the connection is there. But

663
00:48:42.639 --> 00:48:45.880
if we're in a space where like
conversation is stale and I'm trying to talk

664
00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:50.639
about something and you're just like girl, it's like negative energy and yeah whatever,

665
00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:52.599
you know, then it's like like
I said, oh, with my

666
00:48:52.840 --> 00:48:57.199
chaotic friend, you know, she
she's in a space where she's not really

667
00:48:57.199 --> 00:48:59.960
open to and I'm not trying to
tell anybody how to live there A lives

668
00:49:00.119 --> 00:49:05.800
like I don't I'm not perfect,
but like when I ask like probing questions

669
00:49:05.840 --> 00:49:07.239
about like, oh, well,
why did you make that decision? You

670
00:49:07.239 --> 00:49:12.039
know what I mean, it's defensive
and like there's no real reason behind it

671
00:49:12.039 --> 00:49:15.159
that you can explain. And that's
okay, but that's just not where I

672
00:49:15.159 --> 00:49:17.519
am. And if you're in this
space where you're just like making all these

673
00:49:17.559 --> 00:49:22.519
decisions, I don't really align with
my core values, then I just don't

674
00:49:22.519 --> 00:49:27.880
know if we can continue to like
there's always love, but there's just not

675
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:32.880
real connection anymore. What about like
do you have Okay, so do you

676
00:49:32.920 --> 00:49:37.199
have like certain groups or sets of
friends, Like this is my turn up

677
00:49:37.280 --> 00:49:42.480
friends, this is my chill friends, this is my It's hard to say

678
00:49:42.519 --> 00:49:45.239
now because I live in a state
where none of my friends live, so

679
00:49:45.440 --> 00:49:49.719
like right now, I'm just in
the house most of the time. But

680
00:49:49.840 --> 00:49:52.239
like even being here, I don't
know. I don't know. Do you

681
00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:55.079
got a homegirl that you can call
when you want to be on bullshit?

682
00:49:55.199 --> 00:50:00.519
That's yeah, what home girl is
that? That's my girl? Frankie Okay,

683
00:50:00.519 --> 00:50:07.280
Frankie on the bullshit? Okay,
but no, but she's not though

684
00:50:07.320 --> 00:50:10.519
I'm also like I could go and
just chill if you know, like put

685
00:50:10.519 --> 00:50:13.639
my feet up on her couch like
a nap if I want to, you

686
00:50:13.679 --> 00:50:17.239
know, like we just She's definitely
one of my closest friends. Okay,

687
00:50:19.280 --> 00:50:21.400
and we connected through work. We
only met a couple of years ago.

688
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:27.000
What job, I'm okay, I
ain't gonna name it. I ain't giving

689
00:50:27.079 --> 00:50:31.760
him no because because I ain't gonna
lie. I feel like every job that

690
00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:36.360
I've worked at, I've met like
a lifelong friend, even if we're not

691
00:50:36.599 --> 00:50:40.119
super close like that, My little
work friends like don't really be my friends

692
00:50:40.119 --> 00:50:44.360
for real. So yeah, shout
out to Tako to you because that was

693
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:47.639
a work group. Shout out to
my little work friends. Yeah, yeah,

694
00:50:47.639 --> 00:50:52.800
I have same. I have some
lifelong friends, but Taco Team for

695
00:50:52.800 --> 00:50:57.880
sure is like a core group.
Mike, you know he he's here in

696
00:50:57.960 --> 00:51:00.800
Dallas and I've known him since we
worked together at Chase. He was on

697
00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:06.599
the Taco team. Yes, oh
you ain't not that like I was support

698
00:51:06.599 --> 00:51:07.920
of the Taco team. But no, I didn't know. I mean,

699
00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:10.480
I know he was your work friend. But okay, Taco Team. I

700
00:51:10.480 --> 00:51:15.400
don't want some tacos. I'm hungry. But what else was I about to

701
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:23.719
just say about friends. Damn it
was good. Damn mmm, it'll come

702
00:51:23.719 --> 00:51:34.400
back. Damn my lost d friends. You know, I will say,

703
00:51:34.599 --> 00:51:42.119
though, because I have moved around, sometimes it's hard to maintain friendships the

704
00:51:42.119 --> 00:51:45.519
way that that I would like to. Like Camille invited me to her wedding,

705
00:51:45.559 --> 00:51:50.199
but I just couldn't make it,
and I actually I think it was

706
00:51:50.239 --> 00:51:53.480
too short notice or it was on
a weekend where it's like I already had

707
00:51:53.519 --> 00:51:59.320
something going. But I don't get
to talk to Kamille often, like I've

708
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:04.000
never met her, her baby,
or her or her husband. He went

709
00:52:04.039 --> 00:52:07.320
to Eastern, Now, well,
maybe I feel like maybe maybe I feel

710
00:52:07.320 --> 00:52:09.840
like he might have been around at
a time. I don't. I don't

711
00:52:09.880 --> 00:52:13.559
think they were dating. I feel
like we might have. I don't know,

712
00:52:13.679 --> 00:52:15.079
maybe I was. I don't.
Yeah, I mean he went to

713
00:52:15.079 --> 00:52:20.960
Eastern so yeah, but but yeah, like I mean again, that's one

714
00:52:21.000 --> 00:52:23.239
of those situations where we are not
close, but I love her. And

715
00:52:23.239 --> 00:52:27.239
if she called me right now,
I was like she needed something or she

716
00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:30.599
just wanted to What makes you want
to be somebody's friend? Like you just

717
00:52:30.639 --> 00:52:31.960
meet somebody like, oh, I
want to be her friend? Like what

718
00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:36.800
would make you want to be Somebody's
friend, the vibes, the VI.

719
00:52:37.559 --> 00:52:42.639
I'm gonna tell you Frankie is a
great example. He's white, and I'm

720
00:52:42.639 --> 00:52:45.840
not again I'm not saying I love
white people. They're great, but you

721
00:52:45.880 --> 00:52:50.239
know, you just some some things
you connect, like you have you can

722
00:52:50.280 --> 00:52:52.639
relate, and something you can't.
Frankie listens to the Read? Are you

723
00:52:52.639 --> 00:52:58.199
familiar with the Read? The podcast? Yeah? And I was planning or

724
00:52:58.239 --> 00:53:00.679
something and she was like, she
said something and I was like, you

725
00:53:00.719 --> 00:53:04.559
listen to the Read and she was
like yeah, girl. I'm like because

726
00:53:04.599 --> 00:53:08.840
they low key, they'll be going, you know, like I haven't that

727
00:53:08.840 --> 00:53:14.039
shit in so long. Yeah,
but she I'm like, damn, you

728
00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:16.079
have a lot of like self awareness
to be able to listen to this and

729
00:53:16.119 --> 00:53:20.360
not get offended, you know,
yeah, because not that they shouldn't white

730
00:53:20.360 --> 00:53:23.880
people, but you know, they
just whatever. But that was like,

731
00:53:24.199 --> 00:53:27.639
oh, oh we're gonna be friends. We're gonna be That was kind of

732
00:53:27.639 --> 00:53:34.079
the energy from that. But yeah, I don't know if I meet anyone

733
00:53:34.119 --> 00:53:36.400
and just like oh I want to
be their friend, it's just like if

734
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:40.360
it happens, it happens. But
I'm also a very social person, like

735
00:53:40.760 --> 00:53:45.880
I can sit next to someone and
I will strike a conversation. I'm not

736
00:53:46.920 --> 00:53:52.559
very shy. What kind of friend
do you think I am? I think

737
00:53:52.639 --> 00:53:58.119
that you are. It's interesting because
I feel like you have like knowing you.

738
00:53:58.119 --> 00:54:02.519
You're not introverted, but in the
world you are. It's so weird

739
00:54:02.639 --> 00:54:06.719
because, like I would I like
knowing you, I wouldn't say you're an

740
00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:10.400
introverted person, but I really you
are an introverted person, you know,

741
00:54:12.159 --> 00:54:20.840
And I think that you are someone
who like cares deeply about people. I

742
00:54:21.760 --> 00:54:23.280
also though, like, on some
real shape, I really feel like you've

743
00:54:23.480 --> 00:54:28.079
like a lot of people have disappointed
you, and I feel like that has

744
00:54:28.519 --> 00:54:35.880
shaped your view on like relationships in
general. And I don't know, like

745
00:54:37.960 --> 00:54:39.599
I don't know how to explain it. I wish I could better articulate.

746
00:54:39.599 --> 00:54:43.840
I wish I could have prepared for
this question. You know, I think

747
00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:50.360
you're an amazing person, an amazing
friends, but I think sometimes you're guarded

748
00:54:50.760 --> 00:55:00.719
because of what you've experienced. And
yeah, okay, let's get into some

749
00:55:00.719 --> 00:55:07.599
some questions, some little whatever,
Okay, conversations with your inner self.

750
00:55:07.880 --> 00:55:13.880
Oh I love that. Let's see, Oh, okay, hit himself.

751
00:55:14.159 --> 00:55:16.519
What parts of yourself do you feel
like you have to hide from your family.

752
00:55:20.320 --> 00:55:23.599
John Clayton's gonna watch this. I'm
sending it to her. I don't

753
00:55:23.639 --> 00:55:34.960
think there's much that she doesn't know. I don't think right now, I

754
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:37.519
really don't have much that I hide. To be honest, I feel like

755
00:55:37.519 --> 00:55:40.599
I'm an open book, and I
don't. I think sometimes that's to my

756
00:55:40.679 --> 00:55:46.719
detriment because I share too much,
and I think that people perceive me a

757
00:55:46.800 --> 00:55:55.480
certain way because I am so open. Yeah, I mean obviously I don't

758
00:55:55.599 --> 00:55:59.800
like I'm not very open with my
family about like sex and stuff like that.

759
00:56:00.039 --> 00:56:06.280
But even that, I'll tell my
mom. You'll tell her, tell

760
00:56:06.280 --> 00:56:12.159
her what whatever did you got your
back blo out last night? No,

761
00:56:12.199 --> 00:56:15.119
I'm not like they think I had
the biggest stick, Like, no,

762
00:56:15.480 --> 00:56:19.519
I'm not gonna do that. But
if I if, I you know,

763
00:56:19.679 --> 00:56:28.039
like I had a situation recently by
stating someone kind of and we kind of

764
00:56:28.039 --> 00:56:30.920
had texts, we kind of sex. Well, it was it was a

765
00:56:30.920 --> 00:56:37.800
little early. It was pretty mature. What that's another thing. You're a

766
00:56:37.800 --> 00:56:43.360
comedian and you are really first of
all. That's one thing that I will

767
00:56:43.360 --> 00:56:45.360
say about it. I feel like
any dude that I ever talked to.

768
00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:49.239
I feel like they always trying to
downplay me, like I'm not a commuter.

769
00:56:49.519 --> 00:56:52.760
I'm not the funniest bitch a lot. Like Bro, you have a

770
00:56:52.800 --> 00:56:55.360
fucking blast with me. Girl,
I'm trying to think you. There was

771
00:56:55.400 --> 00:57:00.079
a song and you remixed the song
and it was so fucking funny. I

772
00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:04.199
wish I was rap. It wasn't. It was just like the chorus to

773
00:57:04.239 --> 00:57:06.519
the song. But I can't.
Oh my god, if it comes to

774
00:57:06.519 --> 00:57:08.480
me I started got it, I
will text you because I don't think i'm

775
00:57:08.599 --> 00:57:13.639
remember it right now. But that
should have me weak. I was not

776
00:57:14.280 --> 00:57:15.719
for me for this question to what
parts of your sold do you feel like

777
00:57:15.719 --> 00:57:19.400
you have to hire from your fans? I don't. My family already knows.

778
00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:22.679
I didn't heard the podcast. Everybody
that my my parents were listening to

779
00:57:22.719 --> 00:57:28.360
Freaky Friday. So it's like there's
no not anymore but that you. When

780
00:57:28.360 --> 00:57:31.320
I first started the podcast, they
was listening to Freaky Friday every episode,

781
00:57:32.079 --> 00:57:37.199
Like, okay, I love that
the support or you think they were just

782
00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:39.559
listening to be nosy. I think
it was to be nosy, but I

783
00:57:39.559 --> 00:57:51.960
don't know. Okay, less what
do you need less of? I know

784
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:59.719
what I need more of what money? Time, money, time, and

785
00:58:00.960 --> 00:58:02.000
no, no, no, no
no, not not just dick, But

786
00:58:02.159 --> 00:58:06.079
I mean I don't know I need
I need more of a lot of stuff,

787
00:58:06.079 --> 00:58:12.800
but less. What do I need
less of? Less laziness less.

788
00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:15.760
I'm not saying I'm just throwing something
lazy. I was thinking that. But

789
00:58:15.840 --> 00:58:20.000
I hate to call myself lazy because
I really think that there is a balance.

790
00:58:20.039 --> 00:58:22.400
Like I have friends that work so
hard and they don't ever really take

791
00:58:22.840 --> 00:58:29.679
time for themselves. Like I truly
value having time and space to do nothing.

792
00:58:30.440 --> 00:58:35.519
I think it's so important, and
I see people neglect themselves. My

793
00:58:35.519 --> 00:58:37.800
grandmother, she works so hard,
and I'm just like, can you sit

794
00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:40.880
down somewhere. So I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna say lazy because I know

795
00:58:40.920 --> 00:58:46.280
the outside the capacity to work hard. But in a way I need to

796
00:58:46.280 --> 00:58:53.559
be more disciplined, so less non
less lazy? What do I need less

797
00:58:53.599 --> 00:59:07.360
of? I don't know? Less
negative self talk or like that's real.

798
00:59:07.920 --> 00:59:14.320
I just I'd be real hard on
myself. Okay, dreams, Are there

799
00:59:14.400 --> 00:59:19.280
any recurring patterns or themes in your
dreams that could represent your shadow self?

800
00:59:20.639 --> 00:59:24.440
Have you had any dreams recently?
I have really weird fucking dreams, and

801
00:59:24.480 --> 00:59:29.840
there's always celebrities in them. I
love my celebrity dreams. I've had a

802
00:59:29.880 --> 00:59:32.360
few. I actually just how while
I've been in Dallas. I don't know

803
00:59:32.400 --> 00:59:35.840
if I want to share it on
what did you What did you have a

804
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:38.360
dream about? No, I don't
want to say it was a celebrity.

805
00:59:38.440 --> 00:59:43.639
Yeah, okay, it's weird.
I don't know. It's a dream.

806
00:59:43.679 --> 00:59:45.519
I don't want to put out to
the world. It's a dream. This

807
00:59:45.599 --> 00:59:51.280
is a no judgment. It's let
me talk about my reoccurring dream though it's

808
00:59:51.280 --> 01:00:00.880
scary as I am definitely afraid of
spiders. Yes, and oh my god,

809
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.480
mass shooters. I've had like a
mass shooting dream twice and I remember

810
01:00:06.519 --> 01:00:10.000
them vividly, actually three times,
because one was like the same dream again.

811
01:00:10.039 --> 01:00:14.559
It was a kind of dream.
I don't know. I don't even

812
01:00:14.599 --> 01:00:16.559
know what that represents. I always
look my dreams up as soon as I

813
01:00:16.840 --> 01:00:22.840
wake up in the morning. I
googled the significance or the symbolism of what

814
01:00:22.880 --> 01:00:25.000
it means. I looked it up, but I didn't get anything valuable from

815
01:00:25.039 --> 01:00:30.159
it. I don't think people were
having mass shooter dreams twenty years ago too.

816
01:00:30.159 --> 01:00:32.599
Wow, but that really fucking scares
me every time I have one,

817
01:00:34.199 --> 01:00:37.840
and I don't even know what provokes
it. The most recent dream I had,

818
01:00:37.960 --> 01:00:40.400
I was in a car. I
don't know if it went off a

819
01:00:40.519 --> 01:00:45.000
bridge, but it started submerging underwater. That was my most recent dream.

820
01:00:45.480 --> 01:00:50.599
Yeah, we're probably watching that fucking
bridge. That was before it was before

821
01:00:50.599 --> 01:00:57.559
the bridge happened. Okay, So
in tune my niggas in tune life Decisions,

822
01:00:57.719 --> 01:01:07.119
how has your shadow self influenced your
life life decisions? M M So,

823
01:01:08.159 --> 01:01:17.079
I think my shadow self was like
mad, insecure, and like I

824
01:01:17.400 --> 01:01:22.400
think what I've realized through some of
my shadow work is that my inner child

825
01:01:22.119 --> 01:01:28.719
really needed some healing because I had
a lot of like anger towards my dad,

826
01:01:29.400 --> 01:01:36.440
and in one aspect, like I
forgave him and was able to move

827
01:01:36.480 --> 01:01:37.760
on. But then there was like
little things that would trigger me, and

828
01:01:37.800 --> 01:01:40.360
when I really put thought to it, it's like, oh, it's because

829
01:01:40.400 --> 01:01:47.639
of the little girl that needs to
heal, you know. But what I

830
01:01:47.719 --> 01:01:52.719
was able to reflect on is that
a lot of my insecurities and even like

831
01:01:52.719 --> 01:01:58.079
connected to my dad and my both
my parents honestly was rooted in like the

832
01:01:58.159 --> 01:02:06.519
need for validation, and and I
did a lot. I did a lot

833
01:02:07.159 --> 01:02:15.000
for validation. Same, do you
feel like there's any type of correlation between

834
01:02:15.039 --> 01:02:22.800
the men that you've dated and your
dad, any secularities, Not in the

835
01:02:22.840 --> 01:02:25.880
sense of like, oh, you're
dating your dad, but in a way,

836
01:02:25.960 --> 01:02:30.079
yeah, I think. I think
that there's a few men that I've

837
01:02:30.119 --> 01:02:36.559
dated that I looked at like you
are the opposite of my dad in a

838
01:02:36.599 --> 01:02:39.559
way, and that's what intrigued me. And then there are some that I

839
01:02:39.639 --> 01:02:45.400
dated that were like, you're almost
you have some very similar qualities of my

840
01:02:45.480 --> 01:02:53.400
dad. All the niggas I dated
are my daddy, Like yeah, and

841
01:02:53.400 --> 01:02:59.199
he hates that, Like, you
know, he gets a bad rep for

842
01:02:59.280 --> 01:03:04.519
me now because I'm an adult woman
and I fall shit out. But it's

843
01:03:04.519 --> 01:03:07.079
what it is. So wait,
let me ask you that though, Like

844
01:03:07.360 --> 01:03:14.039
what, because you guys were close, where what caused the changing your relationship

845
01:03:14.079 --> 01:03:19.920
with him? Like I said,
just growing up and becoming an adult woman

846
01:03:20.920 --> 01:03:25.480
and really understanding and realizing the things
that happened. It's like realizing what type

847
01:03:25.480 --> 01:03:28.599
of man here? Yeah, what
type of man he is? How he

848
01:03:28.639 --> 01:03:32.599
treated women? Everything that I saw
as a child, like damn. And

849
01:03:32.639 --> 01:03:36.480
so then now I look at myself
and I look at all the men that

850
01:03:36.480 --> 01:03:39.880
I've dated. I look at the
mental illness flow of my chart with men,

851
01:03:40.400 --> 01:03:45.840
and I'm like, damn, y'all
are just like my dad. But

852
01:03:45.960 --> 01:03:50.480
I mean that's all not so.
I think it's a subconscious thing, you

853
01:03:50.480 --> 01:03:54.079
know what I'm saying, Like,
subconsciously, I'm choosing these people because this

854
01:03:54.159 --> 01:03:59.639
is all that I know, this
is what I've seen, this is the

855
01:03:59.679 --> 01:04:02.760
example that was set. I think
there's some of that. But I also,

856
01:04:02.840 --> 01:04:08.320
because I'm speaking for myself as well, I think sometimes with us women,

857
01:04:09.119 --> 01:04:15.039
we are looking to resolve our daddy
issues in our relationship, like what

858
01:04:15.119 --> 01:04:17.000
we didn't get from our fathers,
we want that from our partners, and

859
01:04:17.039 --> 01:04:23.039
we choose these men that are like
our our fathers so that we can resolve

860
01:04:23.079 --> 01:04:26.280
it. Do you see what I'm
saying? And they resolve and a motherfucking

861
01:04:26.480 --> 01:04:31.079
not at all, not at all, not at all. Acting out Recall

862
01:04:31.159 --> 01:04:34.840
a time when you act it out
of character? What happened? That's funny.

863
01:04:34.880 --> 01:04:39.119
I don't feel like I've ever seen
you act out of chars. Not

864
01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:43.159
the little eye she just looked at
her face. I've never I feel like

865
01:04:43.159 --> 01:04:51.760
i've never seen you act out of
character. I think. I think the

866
01:04:51.960 --> 01:05:00.519
what I can recall is being well
being in a relationship with mm hmm,

867
01:05:02.159 --> 01:05:05.679
there was I'm not a violent person, like I don't fight. I don't

868
01:05:06.639 --> 01:05:14.440
either, And with him, I
remember us arguing and it would get so

869
01:05:14.519 --> 01:05:16.840
bad that I would feel like rage, Like I would feel my body get

870
01:05:16.880 --> 01:05:23.559
warm, I felt rage, and
I would just like go crazy, like

871
01:05:23.599 --> 01:05:26.280
I would be throwing shit and you
know, trying to hit him, you

872
01:05:26.280 --> 01:05:30.920
know what I mean, Like that's
not me. Yeah, and that's your

873
01:05:30.039 --> 01:05:34.599
cue to leave. I don't ever
want to anybody that brings the worst out

874
01:05:34.599 --> 01:05:38.679
of me. Bro, I don't
want to be with you. I don't

875
01:05:38.760 --> 01:05:42.039
want to be with you. Yes, And the only so I guess maybe

876
01:05:42.039 --> 01:05:46.719
in a way I wasn't my dad
because the only other time I ever felt

877
01:05:46.840 --> 01:05:50.719
that level of rage was having an
argument with my dad. Like just like

878
01:05:50.800 --> 01:05:55.159
I feel it in my body and
I'm just like, I don't. I

879
01:05:55.199 --> 01:05:57.840
don't even remember when I first got
to either. I didn't even cuss,

880
01:05:58.559 --> 01:06:02.800
right, yeah, exactly. So
for me to get to the point where

881
01:06:02.840 --> 01:06:09.320
I'm like telling my dad, fuck
you, my dad, Like I where

882
01:06:09.320 --> 01:06:14.480
are y'all today? We're in a
good spot where I'll say this. I

883
01:06:14.519 --> 01:06:18.280
think that I know what triggers me
with my dad, So when I feel

884
01:06:18.360 --> 01:06:21.320
it coming, I just like distanced
myself, you know, I'll just say,

885
01:06:21.360 --> 01:06:23.639
like, okay, Dad, love
you. I'm about to go,

886
01:06:24.119 --> 01:06:28.440
you know, or talk to you
later. I do think that there is

887
01:06:29.719 --> 01:06:31.559
there's something missing right now, like
we're not connected in the way we used

888
01:06:31.559 --> 01:06:36.480
to be. I really don't know
what that is. I don't know if

889
01:06:36.480 --> 01:06:43.440
it's the distance, like the physical
distance or something else. But I definitely

890
01:06:43.639 --> 01:06:47.159
like called him when I again,
I've been doing some inner work over the

891
01:06:47.199 --> 01:06:50.159
past couple of years, and I
called him to tell him, like,

892
01:06:50.199 --> 01:06:54.360
you know, I think I'm actually
in a space of forgiveness and I wanted

893
01:06:54.400 --> 01:06:57.559
to tell you like what I've been
experiencing and how I've been feeling and now

894
01:06:57.599 --> 01:07:04.400
how I feel. And his reaction
wasn't what I expected. I think I

895
01:07:04.440 --> 01:07:09.599
was a smitch disappointed by his reaction. I think I thought I might get

896
01:07:09.639 --> 01:07:14.239
like an apology or some type of
self awareness or something. But what I

897
01:07:14.320 --> 01:07:19.920
realized is that he can only give
me what he asked. I can't expect

898
01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:24.800
more from him. That was the
biggest lesson I can't expect him to give

899
01:07:24.840 --> 01:07:30.639
me something he doesn't have, you
know. Yeah, wow, if your

900
01:07:30.719 --> 01:07:35.960
dad's not a millionaire, you can't
expect millions. Okay, damn, that's

901
01:07:35.960 --> 01:07:44.360
just wait, wait, you gotta
answer the question. The only time that's

902
01:07:44.400 --> 01:07:45.559
popping in my head first of all, because I'm a very cool, calm,

903
01:07:45.639 --> 01:07:49.000
collective type of person, Like,
it's gonna take a lot to really

904
01:07:49.000 --> 01:07:51.760
pisce me. The last time that
I acted out of character was when I

905
01:07:51.840 --> 01:07:55.880
quit my job that day when I
got into with the racist white lady,

906
01:07:55.920 --> 01:07:58.599
and I still have brought it back
down, like Jazmine, you got to

907
01:07:58.639 --> 01:08:01.000
be professional, but I don't.
Yeah, that was kind of surprising to

908
01:08:01.079 --> 01:08:05.000
hear because I've never seen you real
leave. That's what I'm saying. I

909
01:08:05.000 --> 01:08:10.000
don't, I don't, I don't
let I don't let it happen. Yeah

910
01:08:10.039 --> 01:08:15.359
oooh failed relationships. What is a
common thread in your failed relationships? I

911
01:08:15.399 --> 01:08:20.560
stay too long? Stay too long? How long should you stay? When

912
01:08:20.600 --> 01:08:27.319
should you leave? In the past
on the podcast, I said no reason

913
01:08:27.439 --> 01:08:32.199
to stay is a reason to go
or something like that, But how okay,

914
01:08:32.279 --> 01:08:36.439
staying too long? When should you
leave at the first red flag?

915
01:08:40.199 --> 01:08:43.880
I think it depends on what the
red flag is. She's still fucking with

916
01:08:44.319 --> 01:08:45.479
no, no, no, no
no, because I think, well,

917
01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:48.279
I guess, okay, red flag
is like a hard no, so then

918
01:08:48.359 --> 01:08:51.399
yes, I agree with that.
I'm thinking, like, first thing,

919
01:08:51.439 --> 01:08:54.439
that's like, eh, but that
could be a yellow flag. It might

920
01:08:54.479 --> 01:08:58.640
not be red red flag. Yes, yeah, I agree with that.

921
01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:02.439
I think that, baby, because
the flags just keep getting redder and redder

922
01:09:02.520 --> 01:09:06.760
and d Yeah, I think I
do think we need to give people grace,

923
01:09:08.359 --> 01:09:13.319
but I don't think that again,
it is if it's a yellow flag

924
01:09:13.439 --> 01:09:15.439
something that like, Okay, let
me just scratch all that my mom told

925
01:09:15.479 --> 01:09:20.600
me when I was in my last
relationship. If he never changed, if

926
01:09:20.640 --> 01:09:26.199
he was this person for the rest
of y'all's life together, would you be

927
01:09:26.239 --> 01:09:30.560
okay with that? And if the
answer is yes, cool say But if

928
01:09:30.560 --> 01:09:36.039
the answer is no, what are
you doing wasting your motherfucking time exactly?

929
01:09:36.239 --> 01:09:48.000
So I'm trying to think what's the
coming thread in my field relationships? I

930
01:09:48.039 --> 01:09:53.760
will say not put myself first.
I can agree with that too for me,

931
01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:56.840
but yeah, I see that you
want to you want to elaborate on

932
01:09:56.880 --> 01:10:02.399
that. I'm a very selfless person
just period. I always put everybody else's

933
01:10:02.439 --> 01:10:08.199
needs above my own. I'm such
a giving person. I'm that partner though,

934
01:10:08.279 --> 01:10:11.600
Like I want to be everything.
I want to give you all the

935
01:10:11.680 --> 01:10:15.520
love, you know what I'm saying. And I let motherfuckers overstep my boundaries.

936
01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:17.880
I let people do whatever they want, you know what I'm saying,

937
01:10:17.960 --> 01:10:26.279
Like, I'm just not putting myself
first, holding on What are you holding

938
01:10:26.319 --> 01:10:30.399
on to that still hurts you deeply? That P you gotta go? No,

939
01:10:30.279 --> 01:10:36.319
no, no, I'm thinking,
but no holding on to the P.

940
01:10:36.960 --> 01:10:45.800
I okay, I'm not holding on
too. I honestly, I think

941
01:10:45.880 --> 01:10:57.119
I like relationship wise, or just
in general general or whatever it is.

942
01:10:57.880 --> 01:11:00.239
I think there's a couple of things
right, Like I think there's some things

943
01:11:00.239 --> 01:11:03.680
that will always just be a part
of you once you experience it, like

944
01:11:03.720 --> 01:11:10.199
losing my baby. So I yeah, I don't think that's something i'll ever

945
01:11:10.279 --> 01:11:14.359
like let go of. And by
losing my baby, I'll be clear so

946
01:11:14.399 --> 01:11:15.840
people don't think. So I had
a child and it got taken from me.

947
01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:25.039
But I was pregnant and at thirty
weeks I she was still born.

948
01:11:25.159 --> 01:11:31.279
So I had to give birth to
her that she was not born, and

949
01:11:31.319 --> 01:11:34.319
that was hard and Honestly, when
I reflect on it, it feels like

950
01:11:34.319 --> 01:11:36.840
a out of body experience, Like
it doesn't even really feel like it happened

951
01:11:36.880 --> 01:11:40.520
to me. Like when I explained
it to people, it's like, yeah,

952
01:11:40.520 --> 01:11:42.640
I actually experienced that, but it
doesn't feel like it was me,

953
01:11:42.720 --> 01:11:47.720
you know, right. So that's
one I think another that is the first

954
01:11:47.720 --> 01:11:50.960
thing that came to mind. But
I'm I'm telling myself I'm over it,

955
01:11:51.000 --> 01:11:56.359
but clearly since it popped up,
I'm not. Is my dad telling me

956
01:11:56.439 --> 01:11:59.119
that he didn't choose to become a
father and that he told my mom to

957
01:11:59.159 --> 01:12:03.800
abort me? Wow? Yeah,
so, and that's just something you never

958
01:12:03.880 --> 01:12:06.520
want to hear from a parent,
you know, especially when you've always felt

959
01:12:06.520 --> 01:12:13.279
like you weren't good enough. And
that really hurt me. And I think

960
01:12:13.319 --> 01:12:16.039
that was like a turning point in
our relationship. Did y'all ever have a

961
01:12:16.079 --> 01:12:24.239
conversation about him saying that? If
so, I can't remember, But if

962
01:12:24.279 --> 01:12:27.039
so, I don't know if we
were if I was in a space where

963
01:12:27.199 --> 01:12:30.479
it was a productive conversation, Like
I think I wasn't helled enough to like

964
01:12:31.199 --> 01:12:35.279
say, is that the conversation when
you said fuck you did? Because no,

965
01:12:35.520 --> 01:12:41.000
oh, that wasn't even no,
it wasn't that that one. It

966
01:12:41.159 --> 01:12:45.000
just I mean, and I understand
his perspective. He was eighteen nineteen years

967
01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:50.560
old when my when you know,
they had me, And I get that

968
01:12:50.640 --> 01:12:56.560
you like, like my mom could
have easily had an abortion and their lives

969
01:12:56.600 --> 01:13:01.399
would be very different. I wouldn't
have a life. But I feel like,

970
01:13:01.439 --> 01:13:06.199
you know, you when you start
having sex, unless it's without your

971
01:13:06.199 --> 01:13:10.720
consent or if you're too young to
understand, like you know the consequences of

972
01:13:11.399 --> 01:13:14.640
what happens, right, Like you
made your decision when you decided to have

973
01:13:14.680 --> 01:13:19.359
sex with my mom protected and that's
what I told them. And I think

974
01:13:19.359 --> 01:13:23.359
a lot of men don't think about
it from that perspective, like you make

975
01:13:23.399 --> 01:13:28.479
that decision. Yeah, you know, you can't be mad, I heard,

976
01:13:30.159 --> 01:13:33.039
so. It just it was a
lot of like lack of accountability that

977
01:13:33.079 --> 01:13:35.640
really pissed me off. And I
think that's that was it for me.

978
01:13:35.800 --> 01:13:39.640
And it's like, so that's why
you just showed up as a terrible,

979
01:13:40.359 --> 01:13:42.800
terrible but like, yeah, you
know what I'm saying, Like you did

980
01:13:42.840 --> 01:13:47.239
not think about your children when you
made decisions. Wow, So yeah,

981
01:13:47.279 --> 01:13:53.439
anyway, sorry, what am I
holding on to that still hurts deeply.

982
01:13:59.600 --> 01:14:02.760
I feel I just hold on to
when people do me dirty, like I'll

983
01:14:02.760 --> 01:14:05.640
never get over that, Like why
would you great that? Why are you

984
01:14:05.680 --> 01:14:09.399
a fucked up art that's fucked that? Like, yeah, I won't let

985
01:14:09.439 --> 01:14:14.880
that shit go. Hmm. So
it's like when it done, not necessarily

986
01:14:14.920 --> 01:14:17.079
one and done, because there have
been situations where I still was fucking with

987
01:14:17.159 --> 01:14:23.239
somebody, but you know what I'm
saying, But like it's just like repeated

988
01:14:23.279 --> 01:14:27.000
behavior, It's just something. I
mean, I don't know, Like for

989
01:14:27.079 --> 01:14:30.199
example, even with the situation with
me and my baby daddy, like I

990
01:14:30.199 --> 01:14:34.239
don't want to I don't want to
say that because I feel like I'm past

991
01:14:34.720 --> 01:14:38.800
that, but you know what I'm
saying, it's always still like to me

992
01:14:39.439 --> 01:14:42.920
even to this day, it's just
certain shit. It's like I feel like

993
01:14:42.960 --> 01:14:45.079
you do shit just to fuck with
me, you know what I'm saying,

994
01:14:45.159 --> 01:14:50.159
or make my life hard or whatever, and it's just like I don't know.

995
01:14:50.279 --> 01:14:54.079
I just I don't know. I
hang on to it in a weird

996
01:14:54.119 --> 01:15:12.720
way, like I don't know,
let's see, mmmm, what are you

997
01:15:12.760 --> 01:15:15.399
skipping over? I'm just looking through
these, but I wanna get some good

998
01:15:15.399 --> 01:15:18.920
ones. Well, the next one's
not good. I don't know. I

999
01:15:18.960 --> 01:15:25.800
just want to put you on the
spot and ax something crazy. Also,

1000
01:15:25.960 --> 01:15:27.920
well, okay, let's go through
the white ones real quick, and then

1001
01:15:27.920 --> 01:15:31.399
I do wanna tap, I do
wanna touch on one topic. Let's see.

1002
01:15:31.680 --> 01:15:34.640
I bet I can guess with that
topic case now you know what it

1003
01:15:34.680 --> 01:15:50.159
is. Mm, okay, we're
gonna We're gonna move on. How do

1004
01:15:50.239 --> 01:15:59.800
you feel about everything that's going on
with mister Sean Combs. I gotta I

1005
01:16:00.039 --> 01:16:02.119
gotta talk about this, like,
I gotta talk about it. What it

1006
01:16:03.520 --> 01:16:14.399
can they say on power whatever whatever
they say, bro, because it's it's

1007
01:16:13.680 --> 01:16:16.560
it's it's crazy to see. It's
very crazy to see. But I feel

1008
01:16:16.600 --> 01:16:21.279
like in a way it is,
but it's also not just because I feel

1009
01:16:21.319 --> 01:16:28.399
like everybody always knew what type of
person did He was? You know?

1010
01:16:28.760 --> 01:16:34.720
I think the bigger problem is that
our culture, let it's like for so

1011
01:16:34.840 --> 01:16:40.640
long, like and not just black, A lot of stuff slide. Yeah,

1012
01:16:41.600 --> 01:16:45.199
it's almost like bigger than did he
like even R Kelly. That's what

1013
01:16:45.199 --> 01:16:46.319
I'm saying. That's what I mean
by a lot of stuff. Yeah,

1014
01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:55.319
like yeah, crazy. I feel
like it's almost like do what you do

1015
01:16:55.840 --> 01:16:59.520
until we can't like cover for you
anymore. You know what I'm saying,

1016
01:16:59.560 --> 01:17:02.000
Like we'll cover for you, but
if it taps into something, we can't

1017
01:17:02.039 --> 01:17:05.199
cover you on your own, Nigga. That's what it feels like, you

1018
01:17:05.239 --> 01:17:10.239
know. And it just maybe he
just didn't renew his Illuminati membership. I

1019
01:17:10.279 --> 01:17:14.319
don't know what happened, but there's
speculation that you know, you know,

1020
01:17:14.359 --> 01:17:19.920
he part of ways with like Sirak
and Delion and all that, and there

1021
01:17:19.960 --> 01:17:23.520
may be he pissed off the wrong
person that has more money than him,

1022
01:17:23.640 --> 01:17:30.640
you know. I think that's what
people think, and you know he's and

1023
01:17:30.640 --> 01:17:32.279
then there's other people that think he's
the fall guy for shit. I don't

1024
01:17:32.319 --> 01:17:38.560
know, but honestly, I'm not
surprised. My heart goes out to anyone

1025
01:17:38.600 --> 01:17:45.479
that was victimized by him, But
honestly, I'm I've I don't I'm not

1026
01:17:45.560 --> 01:17:48.159
like super huge into astrology, not
enough to know like whatever, but I

1027
01:17:48.199 --> 01:17:54.560
heard the we're in this age of
Aquarius or whatever the information all of that.

1028
01:17:54.680 --> 01:18:00.319
Yep, everything's gonna be revealed,
yep. But did he Like I

1029
01:18:00.359 --> 01:18:06.920
said, we've all known for years
with like people will always talk about Diddy

1030
01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:13.720
parties like I'm forever. That was
always a thing. So for all of

1031
01:18:13.720 --> 01:18:16.760
that shit to come out as crazy. I definitely hated how he did all

1032
01:18:16.800 --> 01:18:21.359
of his artists. Yeah, no
respect on that. And I used to

1033
01:18:21.359 --> 01:18:24.840
fuck with Iddy. I used to
like his music and book. I never

1034
01:18:24.920 --> 01:18:29.000
respected the fact that he did his
artists like that. Yeah, I mean,

1035
01:18:29.560 --> 01:18:35.000
you gotta be weary of man with
God complexes because they're they're just men.

1036
01:18:38.439 --> 01:18:42.680
Day twenty six Danity k. We
were just listening to them. I

1037
01:18:42.760 --> 01:18:50.840
was listening today twenty six yesterday,
that's my opinia the band Mace. Everybody

1038
01:18:53.000 --> 01:18:58.680
you kill Biggie, you killed kim
Porter, like allegedly allegedly, but that

1039
01:18:59.000 --> 01:19:01.000
like, and this is kind of
what I be preaching on, like to

1040
01:19:01.159 --> 01:19:04.199
people. Well now I don't even
stay preaching on but this is why,

1041
01:19:09.960 --> 01:19:20.159
like I go so hard about like
just being a good person, you know

1042
01:19:20.199 --> 01:19:25.039
what I'm saying, Like, and
people be feeling like, oh, you

1043
01:19:25.319 --> 01:19:29.079
up whatever, you know people that
live whatever type of crazy life you live,

1044
01:19:29.479 --> 01:19:32.760
Like, yeah, he was doing
good for a long time, but

1045
01:19:32.920 --> 01:19:41.920
that karma is gonna spend the block, like I hope. So I feel

1046
01:19:41.920 --> 01:19:45.399
like there's a lot of people that
deserve I'm waiting on. I'm like,

1047
01:19:45.520 --> 01:19:51.560
no, I have sold so many
magnificent seeds I can and I've like I've

1048
01:19:51.600 --> 01:19:59.239
been the bigger person all the fucking
time, all the fucking time. So

1049
01:19:59.720 --> 01:20:05.760
like my good karma, gotta go
crazy, It gotta go crazy, sidbar,

1050
01:20:06.359 --> 01:20:12.600
What color is on your else?
This is called Dirty Dancer eight eight

1051
01:20:12.720 --> 01:20:16.760
one? What's the brand? D
and D? That is so cute?

1052
01:20:16.920 --> 01:20:20.960
Thank you? Ah, you guys
haven't seen this. This is my new

1053
01:20:21.000 --> 01:20:28.680
tattoo. Shout out to tattoo Wayne. Yeah it was. I told you

1054
01:20:28.720 --> 01:20:31.720
earlier. It was the worst manicure
and peticure ever. It does look good,

1055
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:35.319
but I won't be going back.
I won't be going back. It'd

1056
01:20:35.319 --> 01:20:40.600
be like that. Yeah, is
there anything that you want to touch on?

1057
01:20:44.720 --> 01:20:46.840
Let I want to know how your
experience here in Dallas has been,

1058
01:20:50.039 --> 01:20:56.680
and I want it to be greater. I it's been great, it's been

1059
01:20:56.760 --> 01:21:00.680
great. It's been no but one
day, it was maybe about a week

1060
01:21:00.760 --> 01:21:04.560
or so ago, like I was
in a lyft coming home and right now,

1061
01:21:04.600 --> 01:21:09.840
guys, I'm in the process of
looking for my place and all of

1062
01:21:09.880 --> 01:21:16.119
that. So you know, it's
just been crazy with that and a lot

1063
01:21:16.159 --> 01:21:20.199
of times I really get down on
myself just about like I feel like I'm

1064
01:21:20.199 --> 01:21:24.399
not doing h I'm not doing enough. I feel like I'm gonna get the

1065
01:21:24.439 --> 01:21:27.039
money to do this. And they're
like, it's just so much stuff that

1066
01:21:27.079 --> 01:21:30.680
I'm trying to do, getting up, going on to work every day,

1067
01:21:30.720 --> 01:21:32.920
trying to make it, winging it, you know what I'm saying, Being

1068
01:21:33.000 --> 01:21:36.600
here by myself. My kid is
in Detroit, you know what I'm saying.

1069
01:21:38.359 --> 01:21:41.479
All of that stuff takes a toll
on me. And I was in

1070
01:21:41.520 --> 01:21:45.680
the lyft the other day and I
was like, Bro, you really hopped

1071
01:21:45.720 --> 01:21:53.399
on a plane, came to Dallas, entered into a crazy situation that went

1072
01:21:53.520 --> 01:21:57.720
left. Still was making it,
you know what I'm saying. Still,

1073
01:21:57.960 --> 01:22:01.760
whatever happened, just bounce back from
it. Went through a whole custody battle,

1074
01:22:04.039 --> 01:22:09.079
made it through that, Like just
all of these things, all of

1075
01:22:09.119 --> 01:22:12.640
these things, and it's like,
Jazmine, You're still here, You're still

1076
01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:18.119
standing, You're still strong. You're
like, you know, I don't know,

1077
01:22:18.239 --> 01:22:20.760
but no, it's been good so
far. I can't wait till I

1078
01:22:20.840 --> 01:22:26.079
actually get myself settled and get into
my place and all that and get to

1079
01:22:26.159 --> 01:22:29.600
go out and do all the stuff
that I want to do. I'm going

1080
01:22:29.640 --> 01:22:31.399
out tonight though, but yeah,
like I just feel like I've really been

1081
01:22:31.399 --> 01:22:35.359
trying to just you know, work
on myself and work to get myself where

1082
01:22:35.399 --> 01:22:43.640
I need to be finally just independent
for real on my own. But no,

1083
01:22:43.760 --> 01:22:47.600
it's been good. And one of
my lift drivers today she said she

1084
01:22:47.800 --> 01:22:54.520
was from Kansas City and she was
just saying, like she you know,

1085
01:22:54.680 --> 01:22:57.119
she had to move from home to
or whatever, and she was like,

1086
01:22:57.159 --> 01:23:00.840
it's been a great experience. She
definitely just that other people do it,

1087
01:23:00.880 --> 01:23:04.159
because I mean, I don't know, some people do want to live in

1088
01:23:04.159 --> 01:23:09.239
a hometown forever. But it's a
whole world out here. It's a whole

1089
01:23:09.279 --> 01:23:14.600
nother life. It's so many other
things to do. Yeah, so I'm

1090
01:23:14.720 --> 01:23:17.920
enjoying it. I love liting it. I think the best thing you can

1091
01:23:18.000 --> 01:23:23.279
ever do for yourself is move out
of your hometown. Like even going to

1092
01:23:23.319 --> 01:23:29.119
Eastern was different for me. Like
she won a couple of different places.

1093
01:23:29.319 --> 01:23:36.319
Yeah, I went to school,
inc say, Michigan it was, but

1094
01:23:36.960 --> 01:23:41.520
I did. That's where it was. That's not what you say, though,

1095
01:23:41.680 --> 01:23:44.680
I went to school. I'm just
saying if anybody watching this that don't

1096
01:23:44.720 --> 01:23:45.800
know, like she went to school
in EPs, like just say you went

1097
01:23:45.840 --> 01:23:50.079
to school in Michigan. I went
to school, and then I moved back

1098
01:23:50.119 --> 01:23:55.960
home. I moved to Chicago,
lived there for a couple of years,

1099
01:23:56.439 --> 01:24:00.720
and then I moved back home,
and now I live in Virginia. I

1100
01:24:00.720 --> 01:24:05.560
ain't going back home, though,
she's coming to alley. Let's go to

1101
01:24:05.560 --> 01:24:11.840
Ohio and get some Donados stuff.
I want some food. I'm actually getting

1102
01:24:11.840 --> 01:24:14.039
a little hungry too. But I
have so much food at home. I

1103
01:24:14.079 --> 01:24:17.159
mean remember that at the airb I
just watch all got there. I mean

1104
01:24:17.239 --> 01:24:23.760
like stuff we've been going out and
like I take a box home, like

1105
01:24:23.760 --> 01:24:29.680
like you have. She is like
the Queen of leftovers, like and I

1106
01:24:29.680 --> 01:24:31.439
feel like Christina eat all her food
cold? Do you still you know your

1107
01:24:31.439 --> 01:24:35.600
phone? Sometimes? Bro? She
was always good for eating, eating a

1108
01:24:35.680 --> 01:24:45.079
Chipotle bowl, Coldpotle bowl though,
like you can't and oh my god,

1109
01:24:45.119 --> 01:24:46.800
you so funny when you eat.
Like I could just picture Christy. She'd

1110
01:24:46.840 --> 01:24:51.840
be all like like when she she
what she eats, who she eats?

1111
01:24:53.119 --> 01:25:01.279
Like that sonny? But yeah,
yeah, but else? Should we get

1112
01:25:01.279 --> 01:25:04.399
into the cards? Sure? Do
you want to run to the How much

1113
01:25:04.439 --> 01:25:10.399
time to have? Twenty six minutes? Like yeah, we could end it

1114
01:25:10.560 --> 01:25:15.359
early though. In early I just
I do have to be but it's on

1115
01:25:15.439 --> 01:25:27.760
you lit some cards for the collective. Okay, how's twenty twenty four been

1116
01:25:27.760 --> 01:25:36.680
going for you? You know?
I started this year not really knowing what

1117
01:25:36.760 --> 01:25:41.159
was in story because I feel like
last year was so transformative for me.

1118
01:25:41.359 --> 01:25:44.920
Like I last year is probably one
of the best years I've ever had,

1119
01:25:45.159 --> 01:25:48.479
just as far as like growth,
and I kind of went into this year

1120
01:25:48.520 --> 01:25:51.199
thinking like what next, like what's
next for me? Because I knew I

1121
01:25:51.279 --> 01:25:58.479
was probably trying to move here in
twenty twenty five. So but this year

1122
01:25:58.479 --> 01:26:03.920
has been like I think this year
is going to be. It's like I

1123
01:26:03.920 --> 01:26:08.880
have to do a lot of groundwork, you know, Like there's because last

1124
01:26:08.920 --> 01:26:11.760
year we're so transformative. Now that
I'm in this new space, I have

1125
01:26:11.840 --> 01:26:15.039
to like do the groundwork to get
to where I want to be, like

1126
01:26:15.119 --> 01:26:20.720
to really up level, you know. So I'm seeing that through like work

1127
01:26:21.199 --> 01:26:28.880
and relationships, like just evaluable life
going Girlsha, it's dead right now.

1128
01:26:30.159 --> 01:26:32.199
No apps, no, nothing,
Like I did meet a couple of people

1129
01:26:32.199 --> 01:26:35.199
while I was here, But if
you like the dating apps, you fuck

1130
01:26:35.279 --> 01:26:42.319
with hinge plenty of fish. Christian
mingle girl, I'm backpage. It's like

1131
01:26:45.039 --> 01:26:49.439
he don't know. No, Nah, I don't really. I'm I was

1132
01:26:49.479 --> 01:26:56.399
never really a fan of like online
dating or the apps per se, just

1133
01:26:56.399 --> 01:27:00.319
because I don't know, I feel
like the dudes on there are just I

1134
01:27:00.359 --> 01:27:02.479
mean, not that all dudes don't
just be about sex, but it's like

1135
01:27:03.000 --> 01:27:08.199
the apps. It's just like,
Okay, I'm on here looking for somebody

1136
01:27:09.119 --> 01:27:14.840
that's apps or no app that's but
I don't know, it's just a different

1137
01:27:14.920 --> 01:27:17.159
level of like creepy vibes to me, Like, no, I don't.

1138
01:27:17.520 --> 01:27:21.079
I'm gonna be honest. I feel
like that's just what niggas do. A

1139
01:27:21.119 --> 01:27:25.720
lot of them that are like,
for instance, I've been here since Wednesday.

1140
01:27:26.479 --> 01:27:31.560
I mess some one Thursday night right
at an event and you know,

1141
01:27:31.600 --> 01:27:33.800
exchange numbers or whatever. Last night, I'm like, oh, what are

1142
01:27:33.800 --> 01:27:39.159
you getting into tonight? He said, you, sir, what's today?

1143
01:27:39.199 --> 01:27:43.840
Saturday? That was Friday, sir, sir. That wasn't on an app.

1144
01:27:43.840 --> 01:27:45.520
I'm a him in person. So
like niggas be on the same shit

1145
01:27:45.600 --> 01:27:48.720
no matter what. And I was
like, oh, did I give that

1146
01:27:48.840 --> 01:27:53.840
vibe? Sir? Did I give
that vibe? No, it ain't even

1147
01:27:53.840 --> 01:27:57.000
about the vibe because niggas just they're
gonna throw it out there and if you

1148
01:27:57.039 --> 01:27:59.319
want it, then they on it. If they throw it as you go

1149
01:27:59.600 --> 01:28:04.800
catch it exactly. Yeah. I
said that's a little presumptuous, and he

1150
01:28:04.920 --> 01:28:09.199
was like, you got the keys
and I just deleted and never responded.

1151
01:28:09.479 --> 01:28:15.079
What okay, So all right,
just pulling some cards for the collective because

1152
01:28:15.119 --> 01:28:28.319
you guys love this Queen of Cups. You do? I do. I

1153
01:28:28.359 --> 01:28:31.479
was gonna say, though, I'm
I don't necessarily love when people everybody.

1154
01:28:31.640 --> 01:28:34.520
I won't just like let anybody pull
for me though, because I feel like

1155
01:28:34.640 --> 01:28:38.640
energy is real, and if you
got negative energy, I don't want you

1156
01:28:38.640 --> 01:28:42.319
pull on my cards. Queen of
Cups. The love is in the air.

1157
01:28:43.239 --> 01:28:45.760
Oh this is for the collective?
Yeah, okay, love is in

1158
01:28:45.840 --> 01:28:54.079
the air. Tapping into your heart
space is very important. Tapping into your

1159
01:28:54.119 --> 01:28:59.279
intuition doing what you love. Is
the vibes that is coming off here,

1160
01:29:04.239 --> 01:29:15.039
whipped over the two swords, having
to make a decision about whatever is in

1161
01:29:15.079 --> 01:29:25.520
your heart at this moment. Okay, again, tapping into your intuition and

1162
01:29:25.600 --> 01:29:29.479
your emotions for real. But I
always get so much flack for being such

1163
01:29:29.520 --> 01:29:32.680
an emotional person, and they're like, I don't I don't care. I'll

1164
01:29:32.720 --> 01:29:45.279
lead with my heart and I goes
two of wines. Let's see. Okay,

1165
01:29:45.840 --> 01:29:53.520
what's okay? Okay, it's giving. Okay. So we had the

1166
01:29:53.600 --> 01:29:57.880
Queen of Cups, the two swords, two of wins, four of swords,

1167
01:29:58.000 --> 01:30:05.840
the King of Pinnacles, and the
four of wines. It's given that

1168
01:30:05.960 --> 01:30:15.560
somebody is walking into a new season
in their life. Love, finances,

1169
01:30:18.479 --> 01:30:27.880
just again, happiness, whatever,
you're choosing with your heart for a sores,

1170
01:30:27.960 --> 01:30:30.840
but you want to again and to
a sores and for a swords,

1171
01:30:30.880 --> 01:30:35.279
So it's given. Sleep on the
energy, whatever choice that you gotta make

1172
01:30:35.520 --> 01:30:40.840
if you I don't know. It
could be a job. It could be

1173
01:30:40.880 --> 01:30:45.560
a job. It could be a
relationship, it could be whatever. Take

1174
01:30:45.640 --> 01:30:50.520
some time to sleep on it,
though, but go with how you feel.

1175
01:30:50.760 --> 01:30:58.239
Are you a follow your heart type
person? Yes, but not blindly

1176
01:31:00.279 --> 01:31:04.520
like I am gonna think through certain
decisions for sure. But if it's something

1177
01:31:04.560 --> 01:31:09.159
I want, I'm I'm actually one
of those people that like, if I

1178
01:31:09.159 --> 01:31:12.079
want something, I'm just gonna figure
out a way to get it. Mm

1179
01:31:12.119 --> 01:31:15.319
hmm. So I'm following what I
my heart, what I want, but

1180
01:31:15.479 --> 01:31:17.920
I have to, like logically make
it make sense for me? Does that

1181
01:31:17.960 --> 01:31:23.039
make does that make sense? Whatever
I want, I'm going after two period.

1182
01:31:24.199 --> 01:31:27.880
Like even if I feel like it's
not the best thing, y'all.

1183
01:31:28.039 --> 01:31:30.640
Y, I always say, like
I like, I be in it for

1184
01:31:30.680 --> 01:31:35.800
the thrill and all, like I
just but whatever I feel in my heart

1185
01:31:35.880 --> 01:31:42.399
or whatever, like, I'm gonna
do it every time. So it's looking

1186
01:31:42.479 --> 01:31:45.319
up for the back. It's looking
up for love. See we got too

1187
01:31:45.359 --> 01:31:49.119
a cups, too two a cups. King a cup. Okay, first

1188
01:31:49.159 --> 01:31:55.720
of all, this is somebody's husband
here, King. Oh, I'm sorry,

1189
01:31:56.000 --> 01:31:58.239
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, y'all. It's not the King of Cups.

1190
01:31:58.239 --> 01:32:02.119
I lie. It's the Night of
ups. So it's given. He

1191
01:32:02.239 --> 01:32:05.319
working on it. He working on
it. It's the little dog. It

1192
01:32:05.359 --> 01:32:12.800
ain't little dog energy. But but
it also is it's kind of like a

1193
01:32:12.840 --> 01:32:16.920
young man, you know, it's
given fresh out of college. It's given.

1194
01:32:16.720 --> 01:32:20.720
I'm just saying to me, Not
of cups is like a young man

1195
01:32:21.000 --> 01:32:27.000
energy. It's it's a lot,
it's still a lot of growing to do.

1196
01:32:27.319 --> 01:32:32.279
But I mean he's there with the
full cup though, so Queen and

1197
01:32:32.359 --> 01:32:35.720
Knight, But no and then too
a cups baby, it's given a relationship,

1198
01:32:35.760 --> 01:32:41.359
it's given new relationship on the horizon. It doesn't necessarily have to be

1199
01:32:41.399 --> 01:32:49.000
a relationship. It doesn't have to
be romantic. But yes, okay,

1200
01:32:50.119 --> 01:32:56.560
I claim that I'll take that same
new season right because what what did you

1201
01:32:56.600 --> 01:33:03.920
say? Single ready to mingle?
I did have you seen any I mean,

1202
01:33:04.000 --> 01:33:06.600
we'll have you. Well, you
just said that you did meet somebody

1203
01:33:06.720 --> 01:33:10.720
in exchange, but that ain't you
know? No, I met a couple

1204
01:33:10.800 --> 01:33:19.159
guys, Steven, and it was
it was good energy. But again like

1205
01:33:19.960 --> 01:33:25.199
I'm not gonna be here anytime soon. But I'm not lying. It's really

1206
01:33:25.199 --> 01:33:28.760
a relationship, and we go,
I'm in this with this. It's the

1207
01:33:28.800 --> 01:33:33.279
star Car, the Lovers, and
the Empress. All major are kind of

1208
01:33:33.399 --> 01:33:42.159
energy, the old people. But
no, bro, this is like somebody.

1209
01:33:42.319 --> 01:33:45.239
First of all, somebody's coming into
the relationship healed. Period. So

1210
01:33:45.359 --> 01:33:49.399
if you're working on yourself, keep
doing that, amen, you are what

1211
01:33:49.520 --> 01:33:54.640
you attract. The star Car,
the Lovers, and the Empress. It's

1212
01:33:54.680 --> 01:34:00.920
just, bro, who is who
is this? Who is this? I

1213
01:34:01.039 --> 01:34:09.079
receive it too? Oh my gosh, baby, I'm about to meet my

1214
01:34:09.119 --> 01:34:14.159
man tonight. That's why you need
to come out. I'm about to meet

1215
01:34:14.199 --> 01:34:20.000
my man tonight. That's crazy.
Okay, we go in that right there.

1216
01:34:23.399 --> 01:34:31.640
Damn any closing, any closing statements, anything you want to share,

1217
01:34:33.079 --> 01:34:43.039
you're trying to wrap up. I
mean anything I want to share anything,

1218
01:34:43.079 --> 01:34:48.840
Any advice on friends, life,
whatever, womanhood anything. Oh I can

1219
01:34:48.920 --> 01:34:53.119
speak on that for a long time, to be honest, well, womanhood,

1220
01:34:53.439 --> 01:34:56.760
just all of all of the both. What's your best piece of life

1221
01:34:56.800 --> 01:35:04.359
advice? I'm actually I'm a shout
out Naomi, my friend last night we

1222
01:35:04.399 --> 01:35:10.079
had a conversation and at dinner and
it was it's kind of back to know

1223
01:35:10.199 --> 01:35:15.079
when to leave, whether it's a
job, your hometown, romantic situation,

1224
01:35:15.319 --> 01:35:26.079
friendships. Know your value and know
when you're not receiving your your value,

1225
01:35:26.399 --> 01:35:30.359
Know when you're not being treated the
way you know you deserve to be treated.

1226
01:35:31.680 --> 01:35:35.680
In exist stage lia, get the
fuck out and and and go where

1227
01:35:35.680 --> 01:35:45.079
you are are valued. Period.
Yeah, that's what I'll say. I

1228
01:35:45.119 --> 01:35:48.119
agree. I'm trying to think,
do I want to change? Can you

1229
01:35:48.199 --> 01:35:56.720
change your best life advice? Because
I my old life advice was always walking

1230
01:35:56.760 --> 01:36:00.119
your purpose. I mean, I
guess I don't have to chang. I

1231
01:36:00.199 --> 01:36:03.479
just feel like it's old now,
but no, that is walking your purpose

1232
01:36:03.520 --> 01:36:09.720
for sure, Like because I'm just
reminded of that shit every day that I

1233
01:36:09.760 --> 01:36:14.880
go to a motherfucking job, Like, because I man, it happens every

1234
01:36:14.920 --> 01:36:17.520
time. Every time I get a
new job, I'm like, oh,

1235
01:36:17.640 --> 01:36:21.359
I'm so excited, and I'll just
get back to it just comes back to

1236
01:36:21.399 --> 01:36:25.119
the reality. Like, girl,
you know what you're supposed to be doing,

1237
01:36:25.199 --> 01:36:28.199
you know where you want to be, Like, but it's so hard

1238
01:36:28.239 --> 01:36:32.680
trying to find the balance of being
a creative or an entrepreneur and having to

1239
01:36:34.199 --> 01:36:38.319
I really think you should come out
because we're gonna be around a lot of

1240
01:36:38.319 --> 01:36:43.279
people that are entrepreneurs that I think
the biggest thing from that is like bet

1241
01:36:43.319 --> 01:36:47.560
on yourself, whether it's through a
job or being an entrepreneur. Sometimes you

1242
01:36:47.640 --> 01:36:51.439
just got to take that leap of
faith, even if nobody believes in you,

1243
01:36:51.600 --> 01:36:55.119
even if you don't have the support
you need, even if the money's

1244
01:36:55.119 --> 01:36:57.800
not rolling in the way that you
wanted to. Sometimes you really have to

1245
01:36:57.800 --> 01:37:03.920
bet on yourself. And I think
this weekend has shown me that I'm around

1246
01:37:03.960 --> 01:37:09.399
I have friends that are actually like
that took that bet on themselves and it's

1247
01:37:09.439 --> 01:37:15.399
it's it's paying off. And it
took time and hard work and dedication and

1248
01:37:15.640 --> 01:37:19.560
haters and people that doubted them.
But now the vision is clear and now

1249
01:37:19.600 --> 01:37:24.039
everybody's like, oh my god,
Like, you know, sometimes you really

1250
01:37:24.079 --> 01:37:32.319
have to like bet on yourself.
I agree. Also, also, I'm

1251
01:37:32.319 --> 01:37:35.560
sorry and shout out to my girl
CCP. You know who that is?

1252
01:37:35.760 --> 01:37:38.399
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, I love her.

1253
01:37:38.800 --> 01:37:43.199
I love, love, love love
her her podcasts and not sheally talking about

1254
01:37:43.239 --> 01:37:47.479
another bitch podcast. No, I'm
just kidding. But one thing she always

1255
01:37:47.479 --> 01:37:50.199
says that really stuck with me is
the life that you want wants you.

1256
01:37:51.960 --> 01:37:57.039
And that is like I put that
on my wall because I really believe that

1257
01:37:57.560 --> 01:38:03.600
and I believe in manifesting. But
another thing that she always says is basically,

1258
01:38:03.680 --> 01:38:06.359
you have to do the work,
like absolutely, you know, like

1259
01:38:06.439 --> 01:38:10.039
you have to put yourself in the
position to get the things that you want.

1260
01:38:11.399 --> 01:38:17.479
Needs to Chess needs to chant for
real. But yeah, what was

1261
01:38:17.479 --> 01:38:25.800
it? I was gonna ask one
more thing about friendship. I don't know

1262
01:38:25.840 --> 01:38:36.920
what has true friendship taught you?
Hm hm hm hmm. What has true

1263
01:38:36.960 --> 01:38:49.399
friendship taught me that we are hmm? Like I want to say something around

1264
01:38:49.479 --> 01:39:02.239
like connectedness, like m hm,
that's no, not that like because I

1265
01:39:02.279 --> 01:39:06.479
have so many friends that I've been
friends with for decades at this point.

1266
01:39:09.239 --> 01:39:14.279
We all go through seasons, we
all go through life experiences, things that

1267
01:39:14.319 --> 01:39:21.880
could potentially separate us from each other. But real friendships like we we are

1268
01:39:21.960 --> 01:39:28.600
connected, you know, and we
have to stay connected. And I don't

1269
01:39:28.640 --> 01:39:36.079
know, when you truly love someone, there's nothing that can really but really

1270
01:39:36.159 --> 01:39:41.640
break that. Mm hmm, you
know, I don't know. I mean,

1271
01:39:41.640 --> 01:39:47.319
because friendships you end, people change. That's a tough question. What

1272
01:39:47.359 --> 01:40:00.199
did I ask? What is true
friendship taught you? I was good to

1273
01:40:00.199 --> 01:40:01.560
say something else. I just want
to say something about friends, but I'm

1274
01:40:01.560 --> 01:40:09.319
trying to think about what I want
to say. This is what I want

1275
01:40:09.319 --> 01:40:15.119
to say. I think it's very
important. It's very very important to be

1276
01:40:15.159 --> 01:40:18.439
a great friend, but I think
it's more important to be a great friend

1277
01:40:18.479 --> 01:40:25.119
to yourself because it's gonna be days
where your friend's not gonna be there.

1278
01:40:25.199 --> 01:40:29.359
Not to say that, you know
or whatever, but it's gonna be days

1279
01:40:29.359 --> 01:40:32.720
when your friend's not gonna be there
and you're gonna have to be a friend

1280
01:40:32.760 --> 01:40:40.119
to yourself. And I feel like
I don't know. I look at a

1281
01:40:40.119 --> 01:40:45.000
lot of different relationships and just people
in my life and just the people that

1282
01:40:45.039 --> 01:40:47.000
they are are the person that they
are, and I just feel like I

1283
01:40:47.000 --> 01:40:54.920
feel like I've always been a great
friend to everyone. So be a great

1284
01:40:54.920 --> 01:40:58.800
friend to yourself as well. I
told you I'm hard on myself. So

1285
01:41:00.680 --> 01:41:05.359
yes, that's that's my little piece. But that's it. I'm gonna let

1286
01:41:05.399 --> 01:41:12.039
you go to the bathroom. Girl. Okay, thank you for joining me.

1287
01:41:12.199 --> 01:41:15.319
This was this was lovely. I
haven't had a guest on the podcast

1288
01:41:15.439 --> 01:41:19.279
and I don't know how long the
first guest. I mean, well,

1289
01:41:19.319 --> 01:41:25.279
you're the first guests on the Well, I have had guests on YouTube,

1290
01:41:25.600 --> 01:41:30.319
but whatever, this is the brand
new, revamped, reinvented platform, only

1291
01:41:30.399 --> 01:41:35.119
about four or five videos. You're
gonna be the first guest, so thank

1292
01:41:35.159 --> 01:41:41.079
you for having me. This is
Christina. No, uh no, you

1293
01:41:41.199 --> 01:41:45.560
know, okay, incognitos, what
do you you on TikTok? Though I

1294
01:41:45.560 --> 01:41:48.479
don't post on TikTok. I'm just
asking them, but you just be on

1295
01:41:48.520 --> 01:41:54.199
there watching the videos? Yeah,
no face, no Facebook, no nothing,

1296
01:41:55.239 --> 01:41:59.920
no social media for me, just
bumble. No, I'm not even

1297
01:42:00.239 --> 01:42:02.640
I deleted all that apps like damn, I mean, can you get into

1298
01:42:02.640 --> 01:42:04.399
that real quick. I let me
tell you why I don't have it.

1299
01:42:04.600 --> 01:42:09.640
I really do not like people want
business like that. But I'm an open

1300
01:42:09.640 --> 01:42:12.159
book. It's so weird, Like
I like, there's a part of me

1301
01:42:12.199 --> 01:42:15.319
that would love to do like lifestyle
influencing and stuff on TikTok, but I

1302
01:42:15.359 --> 01:42:19.960
really don't want people to be like
talking about shit, I don't know,

1303
01:42:20.039 --> 01:42:26.319
talking about what my business like,
what business is my life? Like,

1304
01:42:26.319 --> 01:42:30.640
I don't I don't know, my
gosh, I don't know. Maybe it's

1305
01:42:31.039 --> 01:42:39.439
maybe there's a fear of being judged
let it go, Yeah there's I can.

1306
01:42:39.560 --> 01:42:43.520
But but also like I just I
don't like how social media makes me

1307
01:42:43.720 --> 01:42:46.319
feel, especially Instagram, like back
in the day, Like I don't know

1308
01:42:46.319 --> 01:42:51.920
what Instagram's like now, but I
just remember a couple of years ago Instagram,

1309
01:42:53.159 --> 01:42:56.560
maybe not even a couple like closer
to ten years ago. I feel

1310
01:42:56.600 --> 01:43:00.680
really insecure, like being on Instagram, Like I feel like everybody only post

1311
01:43:00.760 --> 01:43:04.960
like the highlights, nobody behind the
scene. It'd be going down behind the

1312
01:43:05.000 --> 01:43:09.479
scene. Yeah yeah, And it's
almost like you have to keep up and

1313
01:43:09.560 --> 01:43:12.399
like portray yourself in certain ways,
so you can get attention, and like,

1314
01:43:12.439 --> 01:43:15.800
I just never liked I never liked
that ship. I would probably wouldn't

1315
01:43:15.800 --> 01:43:19.520
be on Instagram either, if like
I just try to stay on there for

1316
01:43:19.560 --> 01:43:23.239
this. Yeah, yeah, the
ship I got going on, but it

1317
01:43:23.279 --> 01:43:32.720
is it's it's nothing but high school
talent show. I don't know, Like,

1318
01:43:34.479 --> 01:43:38.640
yeah, talk to the people that
make money from social media, like

1319
01:43:39.119 --> 01:43:41.800
you really have to be dedicated today
and they about are they really going to

1320
01:43:41.840 --> 01:43:44.520
ban TikTok? Is it over?
No, it has to go through the

1321
01:43:44.520 --> 01:43:46.479
Senate first. I don't think that's
happened. I've been waiting every day like

1322
01:43:46.760 --> 01:43:50.439
it's just gonna go away, My
app gonna be go I hope not.

1323
01:43:50.640 --> 01:43:58.640
That would be crazy not to get
political, but I feel like if if

1324
01:43:58.680 --> 01:44:04.880
the Democratic Party once youth and like
millennials and gen Z to vote for them,

1325
01:44:05.159 --> 01:44:10.000
the worst thing they could do is
get rid of Yeah yeah yeah that

1326
01:44:10.039 --> 01:44:15.640
makes absolutely no sense. So anyway, wow, yeah, I have not

1327
01:44:15.680 --> 01:44:20.000
to get political. But well,
I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

1328
01:44:20.159 --> 01:44:24.239
Make sure that you follow me on
all platforms, say Healing my Homies,

1329
01:44:25.560 --> 01:44:28.880
subscribe to the podcast Ready five Stars. We were reviewing Why You Love the

1330
01:44:28.880 --> 01:44:36.640
Black Girl experience. Share this video
with your homegirls. The Friends episode friend

1331
01:44:36.760 --> 01:44:46.880
Chet. I used to love Friends, Friends, Oh the show when I

1332
01:44:46.880 --> 01:44:49.800
was little It's school. I watched
it a couple of times. I thought

1333
01:44:49.800 --> 01:44:56.479
you were some one about the song
m you should have played it. But

1334
01:44:56.560 --> 01:44:59.520
when I like, when I post
a little clips like I'll put Friends in the