This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI AM six forty, the
Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty.
You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. The sea is the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show. I'd like to welcome now my Instagram audience. Love to have you
guys on IG. If you would like to come into the studio visually and
see what we're doing here, you're welcome to go onto Instagram and search doctor
Wendy Walsh. Follow me in there you can see us live. I have
If you're new to me, I have a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm
a psychology professor, not a therapist, but I've written three books on relationships.
I did my dissertation on attachment theory and well I'm old and wise,
so allow me to weigh in on your relationships. If you'd like to give
us a call, the number is one eight hundred five two zero one five
three four. That's one eight hundred five two zero one KFI. Okay,
Producer, Kayla, who do we got? We have Robin with the question
Robin, Hi, Robin, It's doctor Wendy. Hi, doctor Wendy,
How are you good? What's your question? Love? Okay, So I
just started hanging out with this guy. You know, he likes me.
I like him. We've really been vibing. I know I love him.
My friends tell me I'm crazy because we haven't been dating that long and they
don't really think he's bat into me. And I'm too into him and it
hasn't been that long. How long has it been. It's been about three
weeks. Three weeks, But I like, I know he's the one,
like my heart spoke when I saw him, and like, I really love
him. Okay, what's a question? Am I crazy? Like? Is
this something I should pursue? Or are not crazy? But you're also not
in love. You are in lust. In the first three weeks of a
relationship. Your brain is being assaulted with a cocktail of neural hormones that make
that person look so perfect. That's why your friends are like, he's not
that perfect, but he is to you. So my advice to you is
enjoy it. This is the best natural drug that we have. And don't
or don't tell him you love him and all that. You're just in lust
at this stage. Let it play out. Let it pass some time.
There's research to show that men actually fall in love faster than women do.
Women are more likely to say the words before men do. So I,
you know, I think just let time pass. Let's see if these neuro
hormones sustain themselves. Let's see what his behavior is, not his words,
see what his behavior is, and whether this could be a real relationship for
the future. So, Robin, you are not crazy, You're absolutely normal.
But I would not call this love. Love is an action word,
it's a verb. It's what comes later where your brain kind of does a
cost benefit analysis. The hormones die down and you're like, Okay, now
I see them. They're a human being. Do I want to stay there?
So give it some time and enjoy it. Enjoy it, Robin.
It's a beautiful drug. Thank you so much for calling. All right,
Producer, Kayla, who do we have next? We have Christie with the
question Christy, Hi, Christy, it's doctor Wendy. Hi Wendy. Oh
guys, well, I'm thrilled to talk to you. Oh, thank you.
I told her that I have had a person whom he's a very reputable
person in town, in the community, but I dated him for like ten
years and it didn't go anywhere, right, he was stringing me along,
and come to find out over time there was there was another person involved as
well. You know what, they don't feel bad ended it don't feel bad
because listen, I knew a woman who dated a guy for ten years on
and off and on and off, and he was never really making a commitment.
And then come to find out he was actually dating, living with another
woman and having babies with her during that time. I mean, they can
be very, very sneaky, these guys. So what's your question, Well,
so he is not living with anyone, but what's been happening. I've
I've tried to remain friends, in other words, just because of who he
is in the community. I don't want to be mean, right, But
so occasionally, like maybe once every six months, he texts her once a
month, you know, little things, just kind of checking in. And
I've not seen him at all. But at the beginning of this year,
he stopped by my house one Friday evening and it just happened again this last
Friday evening. And when he leaves and we have a nice visit, but
when he leaves, he tries the kiss. That's a little bit too much,
right, right, And I'm like, stop, we're friends, this
is good. You know you need to go home, right, Yeah,
but it happens and I don't. It's like he wants to keep you in
your back him, right, So he's keeping you as a backup mate,
you're keeping him as an important social and business contact, and so it's up
to you to continue to do exactly what you're doing, which is reassert the
boundaries. You know. I used to go out with this playboy for years,
on again, off again, whatever, and then he would show up
at my place at different times and he would always try and I'm like,
no, it's not happening now. And it took like three or four times
for him to really understand, like, no, it's not happening. I
always say that a rule is not a rule until it's been tested. So
he's testing your boundaries to see if they're real, and you're doing absolutely the
right thing. Have very clear boundaries. Thanks for calling, Christy, I
appreciate it. If you'd like to call in the numbers one eight hundred five
two zero one five three four, I'm happy to weigh in with my drive
by makeshift relationship advice. But I also want to go to social because a
lot of you are shy. So I want to answer your questions that you're
sending on social media. All right, dear doctor Wendy, I've been single
for twenty five years and it's how I'm comfortable. Okay. I heard that
being alone is equivalent to smoking cigarettes and is physically unhealthy. I don't feel
unhealthy. Am I making myself sick by being alone? Not necessarily. Here's
the thing about research and statistics. Just because research says, and it does
say that loneliness and social isolation can be the same detrimental to your health as
smoking, obesity, drinking too much, etc. Not for everybody, you
know. We all have our own individual attachment style. We all have a
different way of needing to connect to others or not. What you didn't say
in your question is how much other social support you have. I know single
people who have so many friends, who hang out with so much family,
who are literally barely ever alone that they're getting the same benefit as if they're
having a relationship. So I you know, if you feel fine and comfortable
and you're taking care of your health in other ways, I think you're just
fine, all right, Dear doctor Wendy, I am very scared for my
marriage. All my friends are filing for divorce from their husbands. Is this
contagious? Five of my friends filed in the last three months. Oh do
I need to distance myself to save my marriage? Maybe let me just explain
that divorce is so contagious around social circles, just as marriage is contagious,
right, young people in their twenties, One gets married, then the next
does, and the next does, etc. So yes, it's divorce is
contagious within families. It's contagious. But why let's talk about what's happening.
And so your friends who are getting divorced are going to tell you maybe truthful,
maybe not. Oh, I'm loving it. This is so great.
I should have done this years ago. I'm having so much fun. They
could be lying it doesn't matter, and you start feeling envious or else.
What you do, because you want to be a good supportive friend and they
need somebody to go out with, is you start going out with them.
I mean, I actually know people where this has happened. The married wife
goes out with a couple of single friends who have recently divorced just to support
them, and then before you know it, she's essentially out in the mating
marketplace and she's comparing her to spend to the new guys who are false advertising
by the way, she's compared them to the new guys that she's meeting out
there. So yeah, I would have boundaried careful relationships with those people who
are divorcing. But also I would use this time, knowing that this is
a potential threat. I would use this time to really connect with your husband,
do some good stuff together, spend time reinvesting in your relationship. I
think that's really important. All right, So the number is one eight hundred
five two zero one five three four. That's one eight hundred five two zero
one KFI. If you'd like to give me a call, please do,
or you can send a DM on any of my social media and producer Caleb
will be checking. I'll be continuing to answer your relationship questions when we come
back. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I Am
six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor
Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI am six forty. Hi, Hi, am
six forty. You have doctor Wendy Welsh with you. This is the Doctor
Wendy Welsh Show, and I am taking your relationship calls. Reminder, I'm
not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor, but boy do I love to
weigh in with my opinions. Okay, Lynette is our first call? Hi,
Lynette, it's doctor Wendy. Hi, doctor Wendy Walsh. Nice to
hear from you. What's your question? Yeah, So I've been taking a
guy for about four or five months and it's a long distance relationship one hour
away, so that's easy way. Yeah, it's you know, I'm not
that far m and r less. He's going through the school time in his
life right now. He tends to shut down. But I love this man,
I really do. I love him so much and I want to be
there for him throughout this whole process what he's going through. So I'm ready
for the next step. And so here's the thing. For people who you
know, want to be alone when they're processing heart difficult things, it's important
that we don't get intrusive with them because that'll make him push you away.
I think what you should do are regular check ins and say things like I
want you to know I'm here for you. You can also ask questions like
how best can I support you during this time? Rights ask what their needs
are, and then let them know that you're there. That way, it
doesn't feel like, oh, well, you know, I'm gonna come up
next week because you're going a hard time and I need to be with you
because you shouldn't be alone at it. That's you telling them how they should
behave right, Instead, let it play out. Let him know that you're
there, you're available. You could even make small suggestions, you know,
would you like me to drive there next weekend or would you prefer to be
alone? And you know, don't feel all abandoned and rejected if they want
to be alone, because everybody has their own way of processing stuff. And
it only has been four or five months, and it sounds like you really
really care about him, So this is going to be easy for you to
do. Yes, yeah, I love them, but I love them.
I'm so happy to hear this, Lynette, that's wonderful. Thank you so
much for calling. Okay, producer, Kayla, who do we have next?
Oh, Carl, that's not producer Kayla, that's Rual. How are
you hi, Carl, it's doctor Wendy. Yeah, Hi, doctor Wendy.
How are you good? What's your question? The question is if you
have a partner and they always accuse you off either cheating or they don't have
there they're very um, they have a lot of trust issues, how do
you deal with that? Well, okay, it's not the true Okay,
So the two things is um. If you want to ask yourself and ask
them, are there things it seems like you have a lot of anxiety and
about cheating. I'm not the kind of person to cheat, But are there
some things that I could say or do that would help you feel safer or
that would help you feel more secure? So just ask them, right,
like, what can I say or do that would help you feel more secure?
Because what ends up happening is when someone gets accused of cheating a lot
and that person has trust issues, they actually kind of move away from the
person because it's so uncomfortable. It's like oh, or they get angry they
go really, are we going through this again? Right? You have to
bring this up every time? This is all your issue, you know,
and then it turns into a fight. So instead staying calm and understanding that
their anxiety is real but it has nothing to do with you, and saying
things like, you know, I must be very hard for you to live
with this kind of anxiety. I'm here for you. What can I do
to say and help you not have these feelings? I think that's how you
should deal with it. Thank you for calling, Carl, I appreciate it.
Okay, Producer, Kayla, who do we have next? We have?
We have Jacob with the question Jacob. Hi, Jacob, It's doctor
Wendy. Hello. It's actually me and my partner Martha. Both of you.
Hi, Martha, how are you hi? There? I'm good good?
What's your question? Guys? So, our question is we have our
way of doing it. We're kind of curious what you think, but we've
both been cheated on and past past relationships, and we kind of decided moving
forward in our relationship that our friends of opposite genders like me with female friends
and her with male friends, will maintain that friendship, but we will not
acquire new friendships of other genders in our relationship. What's your thoughts on that?
Do you think that's a bad idea? Agree with it? I like
it, except I would add one more thing, unless you socialize with them
together as a couple, Like, you know, you running out with some
new woman you met at the office is weird? Okay, that's that's like
picking a backup mate, and that could destabilize the relationship. And also,
who is this person that wants to be friends with a married man or a
married woman? Right, So it's another thing. You know, you'll find
that when you have a good, healthy, secure relationship, who do you
like to hang out with the most, usually good healthy couples, other couples.
So I actually kind of like your rule, and I would just add
the unless we both decide we like this person and we want to socialize together.
I think it's a good idea I could add on to it. Um,
what do you think about one to say, I have a female co
worker that's in a relationship and she's texting me outside of work, not talking
about work, but wanting to hang out and be friends. And it's kind
of it's mentioned that it's both of us like both couples, but kind of
vague. What do you think I would make sure you steer that to be
both couples? I would say, Yeah, my my my girlfriend Martha,
and I would love to get together with you and your guy. That's all
you do. You pretend that that's what the invitation is about. Steer it
into a couple thing, because why what are you gonna do with this personal
relationship with a colleague which could be misconstrued? And now we're talking about workplace
weird stuff. And if they go to HR so, I yeah, I
would socialize as a couple. And if they don't want to get together as
a couple, then you know that there's somebody who could be a threat to
your relationship. You don't need those people around. We got we got,
uh, Lisa? Now okay, question Hi Lisa, Hi Lisa, it's
doctor Wendy. Thank you for taking my calls. My pleasure. Mary.
I've been married for twenty one years. Huh. I have two boys,
a ten year old and a thirteen year old. Both my husband and I
we worked full time. We're very busy, but I go above him beyond
to make sure meals are cooked, laundry is done, the house is taken
care of. Wow, But he doesn't. He's a taker and he's selfish.
But then I become the bad guy because I asked him for help.
So I'm kind of frustrated and annoyed, and he thinks, oh, well,
that's how it is, okay, So here's how you do this.
You don't nag, you don't whine, you don't complain, and you know,
don't call him names. Right instead, you just quietly go on strike.
You just stop doing right. So, if you know, one time
I was trying to get my teenage daughter to do her laundry and she wasn't
doing it because I was doing it for her and nagging her for help wasn't
working until I literally stopped, and the pile of laundry in her room got
bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, until eventually she just started doing it.
So you have to be brave enough to be happy and busy and live
with a messy house and see what happens. And then if he complains about
something, you simply say, oh, I guess it's something you want to
take care of them, and you smile. I just think. And also
you got to reward them for being good. Remember this. If they do
the slightest little thing, you can't go, oh, I see you know
how to put something in the dishwasher. That's not going to help the relationship.
If you see them doing anything good, go give them a kiss or
a hug. Find ways to shape their behavior with positive rewards. I know
you're frustrated, Lisa. I know you were like, oh, I shouldn't
have to train him, I should be able to just tell him. But
you know what, for twenty one years you've trained him the other way.
You've trained him into a life of luxury where he's got a full time made
and that's you. So I think you've got to quit, all right?
Producer Kayla, who do we have next? We have Z with the question
ze hi z It's doctor Wendy. Hi there. So I like, um,
I have an obsession of my wife. You want to go to therapy
with your wife? No obsession? Obsession, not a session? Obsession?
Yeah, what does that mean? Describe that for me? Like I,
UM, it's not controlling, it's not anything like that. I just have
an obsession of her. But I need you to tell me what obsession means
your thoughts. You're thinking about her all the time, or you want to
be with her all the time. Tell me exactly how that plays out?
Your word? What is your description? Of obsession kind of both like I
needed to know, but it's you know, I'm not controlling, And it's
just like, does this worry you that you think about your wife a lot
and you enjoy spending as much time as you can with her? Yes?
Why does it worry you because of is it upsetting to her? No?
No? No, But it's like, well, what women go through?
You know? So it's like kind of concerning to me. What do you
mean what do women go through? Uh? You know, traffic ting?
I'm confused. So your your wife is involved in sex trafficking? Are you're
worried she's going to be bull like you know? Uh yeah yeah. So
like I feel like every woman is in a sense of I'm going to make
a suggestion to you. I think you should go see a licensed therapist so
that you can learn to explore your feelings and your fears about women. And
this is something that clearly worries you, and I want you to have relief
from that feeling of worry and spending time with a licensed therapist to explore everything
you're feeling could be really beneficial to Uze and I appreciate you calling and sharing
this with me. It's very very nice of you, Thank you for calling.
Okay, Producer Kayla, are we do we have to go to Bridge?
Definitely all right? But when we come back, can we talk about
what Jonah Hill's ex girlfriend Sarah Brady posted on Instagram about him? Please?
There are some rules about posting ladies that you all need to listen up.
Okay, I've got strong opinions on this one. You are listening to the
Doctor Wendy Walsh Show and kf I Am six forty with Live Everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from kf I Am
sixty KIM six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is
the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show where I like to talk about love and you know,
love has two sides. Love can turn to a cold heart very quickly,
and how people get back at their exis as it gets more and more
creative as time goes on. I am not pleased when I see people use
social media to say something publicly about an intimate relationship, even if that intimate
relationship is in the past. I just think that love needs privacy to grow.
Love needs privacy to be sustained, and breakups should happen in private.
You don't need to put all your dirty laundry out there. Last week we
were talking about actress Kiki Palmer and her partner. She was on stage with
was it Usher? Yeah? And she was in a gorgeous dress that revealed
her fabulous body. And she has a baby, and the father of that
baby basically tweeted something like, but you're a mother though, meaning you shouldn't
be dressing this way. You know what? Tell your first of all,
none of his business once she wears, but secondly, tell her privately if
you have certain feelings about things. The social media thing it bothers me.
So now we have another case. Actor Jonah Hill was dating a girl named
Sarah Brady. Reportedly they dated back in twenty twenty one and they broke up
in twenty twenty two. Recently, she wrote she puts some texts where she
accused Jonah Hill. If you don't know who, do you remember who Jonah
Hill is? He was an actor in Super Bad twenty one, Jump Street
Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He also has a really interesting documentary film right now on
I think it's on Netflix. Called stuts Stutz, where he's actually interviewing his
own therapist about his own therapy. It's interesting anyway. So she posts a
series of texts where she accuses him of being a misogynist, a narcissist,
and emotionally abusive. Well, this looks worse on her than him. Basically,
she's a surfer and she took text mess screenshots of text mess That's the
other thing. When someone sends you a text that's for private, it's not
meant to be screenshot and post it publicly. Okay. So she posted text
messages from him where it hears that Jonah Hill asked her to take down photos
of her surfing. And in one of the message, he's outlining what he
calls his boundaries, and he says that they include surfing with men, boundaryless
inappropriate friendships with men, to model, to post pictures of yourself in a
bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, friendships with women who are in unstable
places. I'm just reading the quote and from your wild recent past. Okay,
So he has he's calling this his boundaries. So I want to take
a minute to say a few things here. First of all, name calling,
even if it's an x is not okay online. Secondly, taking those
conversations and screenshotting them out of context and sending them to the world is a
deep invasion of privacy. But now, of course, these messages went viral
on Twitter and TikTok because everybody and Instagram because everybody loves the dirt, right.
But the real issue here is how often people try to use I call
it therapy speak, because they have these new fangled words. He's a narcissist,
he's emotionally abusive. Okay. First of all, a narcissistic personality disorder
is a major diagnosis, Ladies. Just because a man is showing less empathy
towards you, or just because a man wants a little bit of attention,
he may just be a Kendall. It doesn't mean that he's a full blown
narcissistic personality disorder. So narcissists make up about one percent of the population,
but if you read women's comments on social media, they make up about ninety
percent of the male population. They just throw this word around. I also
want to talk a little bit about boundaries. He's calling supposedly these rules for
the relationship. He doesn't want her surfing with men. He doesn't want her
to have boundaryless inappropriate friendships with men. Now this is him, if all
this is true, basically stating that he feels threatened by potential mate poachers,
men who she's hanging out with, who might be a problem and threatening their
relationship. They're not boundaries. Okay, here's what a boundary is. A
boundary is not a rule for somebody else telling them how they should behave even
though you'll hear they cross my boundary. Well, you know what, then
it's up to you. A boundary is a messenger to you, a little
gate around you that says this is the behavior I will tolerate, and if
it happens, this is what my reaction will be. Right. So,
if he says I'm not the right person for you, if these things bring
you to a place of happiness, and there will be no hard feelings,
but these are my boundaries. Right for a romantic relationship, that's an ultimatum
if you want to stay in her. She's basically saying, if you want
to stay in a relationship with me, you need to do these things.
Ultimatums never work, never, never work. A boundary might be if he
said something like, you know, I really support that, you really love
to surf and you like to see your friends have fun. I'm gonna sit
this one out. In other words, if you're going surf and don't put
it in my face, but you don't controlling the other person, you're turning
your back on it. You're saying, I'm not going to look at that.
It doesn't matter. Right. If your overall idea is to try to
control or manipulate somebody else, that's not a boundary. A boundary is a
little set of rules inside your head that says this is how much I can
tolerate. And if the behavior happens, I'm not going to try to get
them to change. I'm going to change my reaction to them. Now.
The reaction maybe I'm going to break up with them, right, that's you're
a prerogative. That's a reaction. The reaction might be I'm gonna, you
know, take a week off, I'm gonna not go out with them,
or whatever. So I think we need to instead get back to if we're
going to use therapy language, instead of labeling others, we should simply talk
about our feelings, stay on our feelings. I would have more sympathy for
this ex girlfriend if she wrote, I was really hurt when my boyfriend asked
me not to serve with men. I felt it was innocent, but obviously
he didn't like it. That's fine, that's legal, and that's the truth.
Stick on our feelings. I don't like that. It feels hurtful.
Not don't do that. See there's a subtle difference. Instead, one is
about your own feelings. And again, ladies, calm down with the nars.
There's lots of research to show that most men, not all men,
lots of really empathetic, compassionate, sympathetic, really fabulous man out there.
But in general, men have less empathy than women. You know why they
were hunters. They had to look in the eyes of a wild animal,
look into its eyes and kill it. Okay, you can't have empathy at
that moment. They go to war. Those guys over there on the war,
they're not having empathy at that moment. Now, there are some men
who have deep empathy, I want to say that, but in general,
as a gender, men have less empathy than women do. Don't call them
a narcissist, just call them a ken, just call them a man.
They're just a mand Hey, when we come back, I want to talk
about something. So I love fun facts about people and psychology, and I
pulled up ten really interesting facts that you might not know about psychology. When
we come back. You're listening to The Doctor Anddy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty Alive everywhere on the iHeartRadio abue. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh
on demand from KFI AM six forty kf I AM six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy
Walls Show. Reminder, I'm here every Sunday from seven to nine pm.
You know, when I'm hanging out with my sweet boyfriend Julio. You know,
he's not swiping through Instagram, is not swiping through TikTok. He's swiping
through Porscheous. He's like obsessed with Porscheous. He just loves them. He
will say, you see that part, you know that little Winchell wiper thing
or the way they did that little I mean, he's obsessed. You know
what. I'm obsessed with reading research on psychology and human behavior. I have
my favorite geeky sites that I go to all the time, and I'm pulling
up new stuff, and so sometimes I'll read about a study and I'm like,
well, that's not enough for a whole seven minute segment, but that's
a fun fact. So I decided to put together a fun little segment tonight
to close up the show. That are fun facts about people in psychology that
I pulled from the research today, because that's the geeky stuff I read.
Okay, first, intergenerational trauma is actually physical, and now there's some evidence
intergenerational trauma. I've always said we are meant to finish the emotional work of
our parents and grandparents. We know that it can change our DNA. Well,
a new study has shown that hardship experienced by mothers during their own childhood
or during pregnancy is reflected in the composition of their two year old children's gut
microbiome microbiome, microbiome, the bugs. This can actually affect a child's social
emotional development. Psychologists often call the stomach the second brain, right and say
they actually found in two year olds who had mothers with trauma that their gut
microbot you know, ninety percent of our serotonin. That wonderful antidepressant is manufactured
in our gut. So that's interesting. We now seem physical evidence of emotional
stuff. All right, here's another study. Older folks who volunteers stay sharper.
Volunteer activities lie educational, religious, health related charitable organizations. Actually,
I think allow older adults to be well, more active, increase their social
interaction, and it also provides important cognitive stimulation that may protect the brain.
So this new findings out of UC Davis presented at the Alzheimer's Association. They
said that people who older, people who volunteered regularly had better executive function that's
planning, organization, getting stuff done, and episodic memory, better memory of
their episodes of their life. All right, here's one good sleepers are resilient.
Well, we've always known that, you know, if a couple wants
to be happy sometimes and stop fighting, they both need to sleep longer and
better. This was led by researchers at the University of York in the UK.
It's you know, obviously, we know that chronic stress is a major
factor for a number of mental health disorders, including depression, anxiety, but
high qualities leap can be a coping strategy. It gives us the ability to
reframe a situation see the positive side. And so when you have stressful experiences,
getting a good night's sleep is often the best thing we can do.
Oh, here's more bad news for those who are isolated socially and alone.
It's now linked to smaller brain volume. Older people who have little social contact
with others are more likely to have a loss of overall brain volume in areas
that are often affected by dementia. You guys need to get out there.
You need to be making friends, You need to be seeing people. You
need to be social. Oh I love this one. I love the study.
A case for flossing regularly. You know, my cardiologist actually told me
that dental flossing your teeth is really good for plaque prevention in your arteries.
It's good for it to print heart disease, heart disease. So there's new
evidence though that shows that oral bacteria also plays a significant role in systemic diseases
like colon cancer and heart disease, and also the formation of a kind of
plaque that is the hallmark of Alzheimer's. We can prevent Alzheimer's by flossing our
teeth more often. Oh, that's good news. I love this one because
you know I have high glucose and I'm always trying to keep the carbs and
the sugar down. Deep sleep can regulate your blood sugar. Researchers have uncovered
a potential mechanism in humans that explains how and why deep sleep brain waves at
night are able to regulate the body's sensitivity to insulin. Did you know that
nearly forty percent of Americans have pre diabetes and eighty percent of them are completely
unaware of it. So again, another case for better sleep. One of
my favorites. It's an old bit of goodie, not that old couple of
years. Relationships improve your odds of survival by fifty percent. This research came
out of Brigham Young University. So these social connections, whether it's friends,
family, neighbors, colleagues, improve your odds of survival by fifty percent.
Low social interaction, on the other hand, member we had a social media
person or a caller asked us about this compares to well known risk factors like
low social life equivalent to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, equivalent to being an
alcoholic, more harmful than a sedentary life, not exercising twice as harmful as
obesity. So you see why I talk about relationships really good for your health.
What is the biggest reason that people stay in bad relationships? If you
had to guess, Kayala, what would it be. I would have said
money. I would say they don't they don't want to be alone. Oh,
A fear of abandonment. Yeah, they just need somebody there, whether
it's batter So. Actually, a male front of mine told me the other
day, he said, you know, I'd actually rather have my toxic situation
that I was in than have to come home to an apartment alone every night.
It's better to be an a toxic situation than be alone. That fear
of being alone, where do we think it's linked to the biggest reason that
people stay in bad relationships low self esteem. They're afraid of the mating marketplace.
So when he says I'd rather have a bad relationship than be alone,
he's also saying I won't be able to find someone else. Right, people
with high self esteem go, eh, this doesn't work out off on another
one unlikable. Wow, And it's hidden because he comes all so confident.
That's very insightful. Yes, people stay when they have low self esteem.
Okay, dad's out there. Are you listening in praise of the pink bassinet?
Okay? I love this study. These researchers found that the number of
daughters a man has was positively related to a longer lifespan of their fathers.
Believe it or not, If you have just one daughter, you're going to
live seventy four weeks longer than somebody with only sons. If you have two
daughters, double that, three daughters double that. Let's break this down,
Kayla, why do you think this is? Girls make the world go around.
They're all barbies in a barbie world. Know what it is is.
Girls are more caring and compassionate. They're going to be making sure that Dad
gets to his doctor's appointments, making sure that Dad takes his medication, make
sure dad's living environment is okay. If you're just living with sons, there's
less chance that they're going to be as nurturing. And again, I want
to remind everybody there is a group of amazing men who are super nurturing and
loving. I have one is my boyfriend. But for the most part,
sons aren't doing the job with the elderly, especially with their fathers the daughters.
Are you ever been in a room and somebody yawns, Kayla, and
then oh yeah, you catch it right and you yawn back. Here's some
good news for you. If you catch yawns easily, it shows you have
more empathy. See A, that's a good thing. Empathy is good,
right, even if you don't feel tired or sleepy. If you find yourself
yawning because somebody else is yawning, it's a contagious thing. It means that
you're showing more empathy. There's research to show that people on the autism spectrum
and young toddlers who haven't grown enough empathy yet are less likely to yawn back.
Isn't that cool? Yeah? Okay, so you know, how how
do I say this without sounding self aggrandizing because it's really good. Okay.
You know, on my show all the time, I'm always telling you all
the big mistakes I've made in relationships in my life, all the big things
that I've done wrong. Well, then it made me really happy to see
this study. It says smart people tend to deprecate themselves. On the other
hand, less intelligent people think they're excellent. So if you hear people making
self deprecating jokes and putting themselves down a little bit. It doesn't mean necessarily
that they have low self esteem. It just means that they can take a
joke and have a joke on themselves, and they can make light of the
basic human frailties that we all have because nobody's perfect. I love. I'm
going to read more research. I'm going to do this every week, find
interesting little facts that we can use. Hey, you can always find me
on everywhere social media TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, I'm everywhere at
Doctor Wendy Walsh is the handle. If you miss any part of this show
or any future show, make sure you download the iHeartRadio app search Doctor Wendy
Walsh and listen to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand any time. Kayla, the
two hours goes by so fast? How did it do that? And I
know for my pre diabetes, I shouldn't be eating late at night. I
should be intermittent fasting. But I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go get something
to eat. It's terrible. I'll see you next week. You've been listening
to the Doctor Wendy Walls showing KF I am six forty We're live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always
hear us live on KFI Am six forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday
and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app