Elliot Lewis, Kathy and Elliott Lewis on stage. Katty Lewis Elliott Lewis,
two of the most distinguished names in radio, appearing each week in their own
theater, starring in a repertory of transcribed stories of their own. And you're
choosing radios Foremost Players and Radios Foremost plays Ladies and Gentleman Elliott Lewis, Good
Evening, May I present my wife Kathy, Good Evening. Anton Chekhov was
a great playwright and short story writer. He also wrote some wonderful one act
plays. Walter Brown Newman is a tremendously gifted young author who's written radio and
motion pictures and television and about everything else that a gifted young author can write.
Anton Tchehov lived in Russia and is dead. Walter Brown Newman lives in
California and is alive, And tonight we're going to do his adaptation of Anton
Chekhov's wonderful one act play The Bear The Bird's Away used to sing, so
for your sake, No, they's sad. It's in the dope that comes
truly love. Excuse me, ma'am, here's holing me And shortly come in
boys can't see to find my kerchief. Oh right there, mom, next
to the late lamented mustache cub. Thank you, Luke didn't mean to interrupt
nothing. I was only sitting here looking at his picture. Elegant, wasn't
he shorty? He purely was. Thank you. You'll both now be looking
yourselves this morning. Smell good too, ed penawd, Mom, I reckon,
I was fellers in the bunk house. You did gallon of ed peen
odd for stick him up. Didn't be shorty, we purely did well.
Colonel Roosevelt and his rough riders don't have a reunion every day all the boys
started for town. He hasn't. Me and Charter were affection to leave yourselves.
That won't be a soul left on the ranch. That's all right.
I used to being lonely. Now, or change your mind and come with
us. No, mom, I'm gonna speak a little peace. I've been
cooked with this outfit ever since the poor defolk first old it and h I
well, mama, what you're doing yourself? You just eat right? You
purely ain't. You're destroying yourself. Today's the day to make your heart bust
with gladness. It's that pretty here. Everybody's out for a good time by
eating the cattle on the porches and jaring life cheese. I laying there on
her back in the sun, a switching a tail and a pearl like an
organ. You ought to be doing the same, but instead you squatting this
parlor with the curtains down from one day to the next. And don't pleasure
yourself never. I reckon it the whole year since you left the house.
I'll never leave the house again. Buck lies in his grave, and this
is my grave. We're both dead, No, Mom, I just did.
You ain't dead, and you can't be gnashing your teeth and wailing and
more than the dear department forever if he't right, never to see no one
or never to pay any called or nobody. We won't discuss it any further.
When Buck died, When Buck died, my heart died. I'll mourn
him the rest of my life. Wherever he is, he'll see how much
I love him. Or Mom, please let me harness black if for you
and drag it to town. Oh what'd I say? Lack? Who was
his favorite? What a rider he was? He looked like part of the
horse. Before you leave, give blackie, A lump of sugar, A
big lump. Yes, Mama, tell him to go away. I won't
see anyone. You go tell him Jory. Oh see my tears. See
how I forgive you, See how I love you. Please, Mom,
get hold of your sale. You can't understand? Why, sure I can?
I won't. My old woman took check one time. I just couldn't
bear it. Sarah, I'd say, it hurt curly and there, Sarah,
I'd say, I wish you'd get well for something. But Mom,
you've got to get the bulls on it. Ma'am. There's a Phellow says
he's just got to see you. Didn't you tell him? I see noan
throw him out, throw it, ma'am. He stands about eighteen hands at
the shoulder. You have a gun on your hip. He's got two on
hiss and a knife in his boot. Ma'am, allow me to present myself,
Stephen Gregory, owner of the bicycle. Why I'm hearing a matter of
the greatest importance. What is it you want? Your late husband died twelve
hundred dollars in debt to me. The interest on the mortgage on my place
is do tomorrow. I'd like you to pay me the money today. Twelve
hundred what four partly for oates bought and delivered, the other eleven hundred and
fifty piled up cutting for a high card. If my husband died in debt
to you, I have as I owe you. If he owed you money,
you'll be paid. Not today. I won't have a large enough sum
in the bank until the day after tomorrow, so I cannot oblige you this
morning. How if you'll excuse me, I'm in no condition to give financial
matters min and I'm in the condition which if I don't pay off that mortgage
will oblige me to blow out my brains. I'll take my ranch. You
will get your money the day after tomorrow. I want it the day after
tomorrow. I want it today. You'll have to excuse me. I cannot.
You'll have to excuse me. I insist that you pay me. If
I can't, I can't. Is that final? That's final? Absolutely?
Positively, grassius, mootus grassius, and everyone wants to know why I can't
keep my temper. I'll thank you to leave my I need money. I
spent all day yesterday riding from one dead beat to another. They owe me
a fortune. I can't collect a penny. Will you get out of your
under? I'm seventy miles from home. I slept in a saloon last night
with a brandy cake for a pillow. I'd finally come here. It's my
last hope. And what do I get? I'm in no condition to give
financial matters my attention? Why shouldn't I be in an uproar? I distinctly
told you my banker would pay you the day after. I did write all
this way to see your banker, but to see you? What the devil
have I got to do with your bank You want to go after the boys?
Quick? Fetch them back now, sir? Will you leave? Or
will you stay here bullying a woman and a widow until my hands return?
Give you your just disease? Is it my fault you're a woman? Is
it my fault you're a widow? Do I have to pay off my mortgage
or don't I? What do you expect me to do when my creditors come
strip down on my long John's pretend I'm a ghost, Luke, don't just
stand there, mission I go to Tim read that break his nose. Stilly
won't pay I beg Henry Dawson with a two by four and he won't pay.
And you, you are in no condition to give financial matters your attention.
Not one of you pays up just because I'm too gentle with you,
just because I'm wax in your hand, and misshut Up, who are you
talking about? Cut your heart out. I'll tell you this, ma'am.
If you think you can diddle me out of my money just because I'm a
gentleman, think again. The picture has gone to the well once, tour
Sir. I have never diddled anyone, and I am not accustomed to being
addressed in that tone of voice. I've been as patient as I can,
but my patience is at an end. Good day, so it's my patience
at an end. Even a warm turns well. Right now, I'll be
a drip from long, beautiful manners. Your boss has just beautiful? Does
she thinks she can treat me like this and get away with it? Gout
she? I came here to be paid, and I will be paid.
Is it warm in here? I'm so mad, I'm dying of heat.
Why are the windows closed while the curtain's drawn? A lair in here?
I get so worked up with people, Shove me around, take advantage of
my good nature, treat me like I have no feeling my tender me.
Never me some whiskey or some water something front of them. Who can make
sense out of a woman? I leave it to you. Can you make
sense out of the way a woman thinks? Well, you gotta try and
understand. I'm going local. I need money so bad, and she won't
pay because she's in no condition to give financial matterage Harry attention. That's the
way a woman thinks. It makes sense. You gotta try it on the
squahere's that drink. I'd rather try to reason with a mule and a woman.
A mule will meet you partway. A mule's a miracle of logic compared
to a woman. I can't a five women, never could, don't now,
not likely toever. I get mad even when I see one from a
distance. Where is she little stretched out? Most likely she's been poorly.
She ain't used to see in folks, bourbon all right, in a bottle,
been poorly she ever since month died. Well, she's not putting anything
over on me, you hear me. Wherever you are, you're not putting
anything over on me with those temples, those bright eyes, those widows weeds.
I can't be deviled. I'm around. I've seen the elephant and heard
the owl. Please please, she's so low in spirits, Oh am,
I low in spirits. I'll match my spirits against hers anytime. For lonness,
fine hospitality, I must say, gorgeous hospitality. In the middle of
a conversation, she stalks out like a turkey head. Will you can't rides
a bleamer, not all together? She used to having a gent call on
her not looking like you, I mean like I look, you're trying to
crowd me. Well, there's a mirror, right there's he said, where?
Uh? Well, maybe so a little dusty, but you can't ride
for two days without getting dusty. And my boots but how can I trouple
Billy Clay write his own pig penalty? My boots clean, and my pants.
I'd like to see her sleep in the floor of a saloon and rise
up with pressure pants. She was put out by my Appearance's boat well don't
exactly inspire confidence. Well, I know I shouldn't come calling on a lady
in her parlor looking like this, But she should have realized the circumstance.
Common sense would have told her that's what I mean. A woman's got less
logic than a mule. Anyway, I'm not here on a social call.
I'm a creditor. There's no rules for how a creditors are dressed. Judge
the sea. Shut up, sir. I have grown unaccustomedly to the sound
of a man's voice in this house, and I can't stand shouting. I
must ask you to go and leave me in peace. Pay me my money
and I'll go. I thought i'd made it plain. You will have to
wait till the day after turn. I thought I made it plain. I
don't want the money the day after tomorrow. I want it today. If
I don't get it, I'll have to destroy myself tomorrow. You run those
curtains who opened this window? I opened the window. I drew the curtains.
You expect me to sit in the talk with no air? Am I
a gopher? Answer me that I need to breathe? How dare you shut
that window? Stand aside, sir? If people ask me why I get
angry, get out of my way? You fair? How dare you break
that window? I'm trying to change the subject. I'm not here to talk
about windows. I'm here to get paid. I don't have the money now,
and I'll sit here and wait until you do. Please, I'm not
neither am I? After all a popscull I had last night. But I'm
going to sit here till I get paid. Anyway. Have I got a
mortgage to meet tomorrow? Haven't I? You can be sick for a week
if you like, all right, and I'll sit here for a week.
If you're sick for a year, I'll sit here for a year. You're
not putting anything over on me with those widows, weeds, those bright eyes,
those dimples. I know those dimples. Now, maybe you'll understand that
I won't be diddled. You fail, You bear, You bear. You
are listening to Kathy and Elliott Lewis on stage to Nice play the Bear.
There's outstanding dramatic listening in the daytime too. On CBS Radio, Map Perkins
and Aunt Jenny make fiction as real as life with their gripping day to day
dramas. Young Doctor Malone and Perry Mason keep you thoroughly engrossed in their exciting
daily adventures. Doctor Malone's in romance and medicine, Perry Mason's in the legal
field. He knows so well. And there are many more making up the
entire CBS Radio daytime family. They're yours for the best in daytime listening at
the stars address. Will you please get out of my house as soon as
I am paid. I'm not enjoying this. Do you think I'm doing it
for a joke? Stop yelling. This isn't a saloon. I'm not talking
about saloons. I'm talking about the twelve hundred dollars you owe me and the
market I have to me tomorrow. Don't raise your voice to me. How
dare you behave like this to a woman? Do you call it etiquette to
criticize a guest in your own parlor? I behave very well to a woman.
No, you don't. You have no manners. You're an uncouth man.
Decent men don't talk to a woman like that. What a business?
How do you want me to talk to you like an englishman? Ah?
My, dear dear lady, what ripping weather? What? What? And
how well you look in mourning? I say that's stupid and rude. Stupid
and rude. I don't know how to behave to a woman in my time
ma'am, I've seen more women than you've seen bustles. I've had three duels
on account of women. I've thrown over twelve of them and been turned down
by man. You don't believe me. It's the truth. There was a
time when I moved after women like a sick calf, almost drowned myself in
colney water. Shoot sten send to make my voice soft and my breath sweet.
Shaved every day, sometimes twice a day, and wore pink silk garters
on my shirt sleeve. I'm not at all into I made love passionately,
madly, softly, loudly, every which way I suffered. I howled at
the moon like a coyot. I sang love songs, whispered sweet nothing,
joined the Emancipation League and made speeches urging boats for women. But not anymore.
You won't get around me like that. Now get around you who wants
to get a ride out a bellyful, soft cheeks, bright eyes, ruby
lips, dimples, the moon, dainty hands. I wouldn't give our cow
chip for the lat man. Now you listen me. All women present company
accepted. All women, big or small, thin or fat, older,
young, are unfaithful crooked, vicious, malicious, envious, vain, petty,
trivial, greedy, shallow, merciless, ruthless, lying, unreasonable,
and where brains are concerned or horned, toad can give cards, page a
little casino to anything in petticoats and still win the game. I'll speak from
experience. You look at one of these dainty creatures, all silks and laces,
all gentle smiles and soft sighs, and ngelic, positively angelic. So
when you look into her soul, what do you see? A buzzard and
the most aggravating thing of all. This buzzard, for some reason or other,
is convinced that of all the creatures on earth, it and it alone,
is capable of love. Now I leave it to you, getting right
down to cases. Have you ever met a woman who can love anything but
a lapdog? When she's in love, can she do anything but blubber and
slobber? A man suffers, a man tears his heart to pieces, a
man makes sacrifices, And how does she show her love by fluttering her fan
with one hand and getting a good, strong grip on his nose with the
other. Ma'am, you have the bad luck to be a woman. You
know yourself. That's a woman's nature. Tell me the truth. Have you
ever seen a woman who is honest, faithful, steadfast? Of course you
have it. You'll find a cow who can play the mandolin before you'll find
a steadfast woman. You're quite finished. That's the gist of my remarks anyway,
And as you see it, when it comes to love, who is
it that's honest and steadfast? The man? Of course it's the man,
the man. Hah men, honest and steadfast? Did you ever you listen
to me? I'm going to tell you about men. Where did you ever
get the idea that men are faithful in love? I'll tell you about men.
I'll tell you about the best man that ever lived, my late husband.
I loved that man. I loved him with every part of me,
every bone, every drop of blood. I loved him as no other man
has been loved before. I gave him everything, my youth, the best
years of my life, my joy, my property, everything, I kissed,
the ground he walked on. I worshiped him. And how did he
repay me? He deceived me. There wasn't a day he drew breath that
he didn't deceive me. Books there, ask Luke. After he died,
I found a whole trunk full of love letters. And when he was alive.
It hurts to remember it even now. He'd leave me for weeks at
a time, go gallivanting all over the country. And in spite of all
that I loved him and was faithful to him, I'm still faithful to him
and true to his memory. I haven't stirred from this house since the funeral,
and I'll wear mourning for the rest of my life. Mourning. You
think that fools me? Don't you think I know why you wear black while
you stay in the house. You want people to say, how spirit you
will for love of her husband? She buries herself alive? What sentiment I'm
under? You? Man? You renounce the flesh and the devil, but
you curd your hair and you sprinkle yourself with patulie. I smell it.
How dare you in self? Keep your voice down? I'm not one of
your hired hands. I won't be yell that you're the one who's yelling yet
out of here. Pay me and I'll go. You won't get a sense
I'll be hanging up, not one red penny just for Spike get out of
here and not your husband, and I'm not your intended so don't make a
scene. I don't like. Get up from that chair and get out of
this house. That was my husband's chair. Get up from it. It's
with this chair. I come on with him with PRIs and I get insultd.
I have no time to waste and I'm forced to spend the day.
This is gussie chair. There, there's a chair. You broke it.
You broke the chair. All I want is what's coming to me. I
refuse to say another word to you. Leave this house and the cash is
in my hand, not before. Where's Lenny Jay? Lenny? They nobody?
Am mom short is going to get out? Gout out, get out
out fine, open handed, hospitalent. You're a hooligan, You're a rough
neck. You're a monster, you're a bear. What did you call me
there? A monster? If you got to call me names, I'll call
you as many names as I want to. Do you think I'm afraid?
Do you think you can call me names just because you're a woman. You'll
think I let people call me names and take away my dignity without protecting myself.
We'll shoot it out. Hold on now, I'll wait six gods,
you're not scaring me one little bit. I wouldn't care if you were twice
as big as you, ten times as well. We'll shoot it out.
Nobody in sults. Mee gets away with it. I don't care if you
are there. Who there's the only men have to pay for insults? Who
made up that rule? Women are always screaming about equal rights. All right,
let's have equal rights all around in everything. We'll shoot it out good
with six guys. And right now, right now, I'll get my husband's
son. You wait right here. I'm going to enjoy pumping bullets into your
fixed skull right between the eyes, right between the eye. I'll bring her
down like a chicken man. Woman's all the same to me when I'm at
something. Oh mister, please don't do this awful thing. He leave now
for his two league. He let it go. Just scare in her.
You don't choose she wants to fight. Well, that's emancipation, that's equal
rights. It matters like this. I support the new woman. I'll shoot
her on principle. But did she the heller? Though? Is she?
A lot of women see the way she galloped off her a gun head up
and tail over the dashboard. I'll enjoy putting a bullet in your skull.
Did you hear her? And our eyes sparkled? She didn't back down,
an anchil, Please please go. She's a real woman. That's a kind
of like a real womanly woman, not a drooping sack of marshmallow, but
with blood in her veins. All fire, all pepper, all gunpowder,
shit, a Roman candle, shame the killer. Oh no, I like
her. I positively like her dimples and all I like her. I'd be
willing to tear up those ioues. And I'm feeling sereene again. I got
a grip on my temper. A womanly woman all right now. But before
we start, you'll have to show me how to use it. I've never
held a gun in my hands, my mom, But hey, do that
hasty. I'm gonna ride down the road and try to find the balls.
Please just pray for time. There's a fine weapon, man, good balance,
nice heft to it. It's as shiny as your eyes, nothing as
pretty as a cold forty five. Just show me how to hold it.
The butt goes into your palm like this, and you can either pull the
trigger with your pretty little finger, or flick the hammer with your tiny little
thumb like that, just like that, and in aiming it. Uh,
here, stand in front of me. In aiming it, put your head
back a little and hold your arm out like this. That's it. Then
when you're ready to fire, just squeeze the trigger. Squeeze, don't pull,
Squeeze like a lemon. Way here, give me your hand. Feel
how gentle I squeeze? I just squeeze a gentle be liked it? I
understand. I'm ready? Where do we shoot it out in the yard?
All right, let's go. But I'm telling you in advance. I'm going
to fire in the air well. If that isn't the why, because because
that's my business. You're not yellow? Are you? Are you? I'm
not going to let you call out of this. You come with me.
I won't rest easy till I put a bullet in your head. Why aren't
you coming? Are you scared? Yes, I'm scared. You're a liar.
Why won't you fight? Because? Well, because I like you?
He likes me. He has the nerve to say he likes me. Come
on into the yard. Wait a minute, let me load your gun.
Give it me. Uh, listen, you're still mad. I'm a little
mad too, but you know what I mean. I can't find the words.
The fact is, well, it's like this. Can I help it?
If I like you? Do you understand it's all I can do to
keep from telling you I love you. Don't come near me. I hate
you. What a woman. I've never seen one like her. I'm a
gone goose. I'm done for. I'm a mouse in a truck. Get
away from me, watch and shoot. I'd enjoy being killed by a gun
held in that soft little hand. You're driving me crazy. Don't talk without
thinking, and make up your mind right now, because if I once leave
this house, you'll never see hiding a hear of me again. Make up
your mind. I'm a rancher. I'm respected in the community. I have
eight thousand head of Cadillac and throw six whiskey glasses into the air and pulverize
them before they hit the ground. I own the fastest horse in the county.
Will you marry me? I want to shoot it out, shoot it
up. Out of my mind. I'm in love like a boy. I'm
happy as the jaybird. I love you. Get out, get off your
knees. I love you as I've never loved before. I've thrown over twelve
women have been turned down my mine, but I never loved any of them
as I love you. I'm putty, I'm tapping, I'm wax. I
offer you my hand, my heart, my parts in in my life.
Shame on me, Shame on me. I'm mortified as I've never been.
I haven't been in love for years. I took an oath, and suddenly
I'm in love like a wolf in a trap. Marry me, yes or
no? You refuse? All right? Then, well nothing. Get out
of my house. No stop, no go away. I hate you.
I mean no, do don't go away. My head spinning. I'm angry.
I don't know what I'm saying. Who are you waiting for? Get
out? Get out? Good bye, good bye, goodbye? Where are
you going? Stop? I don't get married, so so stay away from
me. I hate myself for this, falling in love on my knees like
a schoolboy. I love you. You think I want to love you,
but I love you. It's the last thing I intended. Tomorrow. I
have to pay off my mortgage and stop my round up and hear you go
ahead, and and I'll never forgive myself for this. Take your hands away,
get away from me. Let's shoot it out. Let's let's shoe mom,
mom, he read shoe boss mon Well, I just don't believe it,
Oh Luke, Yes, ma'am. Never mind feeding Blackie that lump of
sugar. The bear starring Kathy and Elliott Lewis on stage. In a moment,
mister and missus Lewis will tell you about next week's play. This Sunday
Night, Frank Love Joy Stars and the remarkable talent of Egbert Haw and CBS
Radio's Theater of Stars. You may find it difficult to believe this tale of
a talking race horse, but you'll find it easy to enjoy. Also Sunday
Night, here Lionel Barrymore on your Hall of Fame Playhouse, spotlighting another little
known hero of American history on most of these stations This Sunday Evening, Theater
of Stars and Hall of Fame Playhouse presented by CBS Radio and now once again
Kathy and Elliott Lewis. Oh. Thanks to Walter Brown Newman for a lovely
adaptation. Can you talk dear enough to say that Horace Murphy tried unsuccessfully to
get the courage to throw me out of your house, and that Byron Kane
escaped my violence earlier in the play. We've done several scripts by another Newman,
e Jack Newman, who is not related to Walterer, and his plays
have a wonderful effect on all of you. You either violently dislike to the
party and Eddie and Casey at the bat, or you were thoroughly delighted with
them. Well, next week we give you an opportunity to once again either
violently dislike or be thoroughly delighted, as we present e Jack Newman's new story
statement of fact. Until then, thank you for listening, good night,
good night. Music for tonight's story was arranged and conducted by Fred Steiner.
The Kathy and Elliott theme is by Raynobol, and the program is transcribed and
directed by mister Lewis George Walls speaking and remember listen while you work. Enjoy
Road of Life every Monday through Friday in the daytime on the CBS Radio Network.