WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.399 --> 00:00:07.679 It's the two seventeen Recovery podcast with Corey Winfield. Stuff went numb. That 2 00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:09.480 shouldn't go numb. You know what I'm saying. And I was like, 3 00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:12.720 what is he? No? I don't, No, you don't and Cole 4 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:17.039 holds Marnie Winfield. It was kind of an awkward thing. He's like, 5 00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:20.559 would you guys want come along? Can you get away to come to the 6 00:00:20.640 --> 00:00:27.640 island. I'm like, yeah, you just got back from there. It 7 00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:32.359 is the twenty second of October twenty twenty three. My name's Corey Winfield. 8 00:00:32.439 --> 00:00:36.079 My name is Marnie Winfield, and welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Podcasts. 9 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:39.799 Marnie Winfield, you're back. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm 10 00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:42.159 doing well. It's been a minute. I know people who listen to this 11 00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:47.079 podcast, they are excited that you're back today for the Voice of Reason. 12 00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:54.240 Ah to my crazy doctor, crazy man brain. Yes, yes, yes, 13 00:00:54.359 --> 00:00:57.560 how have we been. I've been good. I'm still married, everything 14 00:00:57.560 --> 00:01:02.799 going good, still married, over, still sober. Yeah, no, 15 00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:07.239 everything is pretty amazing. My new job is kind of really taking form, 16 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:15.480 so that's been an adjustment for sure, but I love it and you know, 17 00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:21.799 I'm really putting my degree to use, that's for sure. So and 18 00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:23.840 I get to do what I love. You know, I'm working with people 19 00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:29.400 in recovery. So it's it's really amazing. That's really good. And you 20 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:34.439 have one and fourteen consecutive days sober. So oh wow, I getting congrats 21 00:01:34.439 --> 00:01:37.319 on that, you know. Did you just do that in your head? 22 00:01:37.599 --> 00:01:45.599 Yeah? Yeah, but yeah, you're doing You're doing great things and staying 23 00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:49.760 busy. Do you miss school? Not at all, not one little tiny 24 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:56.719 bit. So there was there was a piece of me that it felt like, 25 00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:00.799 you know, right after I was done with the papers and the projects 26 00:02:00.840 --> 00:02:07.639 and the journaling and the you know, all that stuff. When I didn't 27 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:13.800 have it, I felt like I was missing not that I was missing something, 28 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:16.479 but that I was forgetting to do something that I was like, you 29 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:19.879 know, like when you're like I'm supposed to be somewhere but I don't know 30 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:23.879 where, or the kind of thing like where you're like, I need to 31 00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:25.919 be reminded of what it is that I'm where I'm supposed to be at, 32 00:02:25.960 --> 00:02:30.800 or what I'm supposed to be doing or have done. And there wasn't anything 33 00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:37.960 like we went downstate to see your family and every time we would go out 34 00:02:37.960 --> 00:02:43.560 of town, I always brought my school like work with me, my briefcase 35 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:46.039 with my you know, fold and I kept out everything in there all the 36 00:02:46.120 --> 00:02:52.000 time, so my laptops in there, what I've been working on for school 37 00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:55.360 slash work. And it was just a thing in case I had, you 38 00:02:55.400 --> 00:03:00.319 know, moments in the morning before we head out someplace, or I'm at 39 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:02.719 night before I go to bed to get things caught up on. It was 40 00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:07.240 just the thing I did. So we go down there and I'm unloading all 41 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:12.000 our bags and things in the hotel room. I'm like, why did I 42 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:16.680 bring my briefcase with me? Like why did I pack this? And it 43 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:22.599 totally was just automatic. It was an automatic thing that I just did because 44 00:03:22.599 --> 00:03:24.680 I always had those responsibilities sitting in the back of my head. Well, 45 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:28.759 if there's time, then I'm going to get ahead of get ahead of things, 46 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:30.479 and I'm going to do some extra work while i'm you know, it's 47 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:37.639 a weekend quote unquote, And I'm like, that thing is just I don't 48 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:39.360 need it. I don't need to I don't even need to get into it. 49 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:43.000 I don't even need to look up anything, Like there's nothing I can 50 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:49.400 need it for so that kind of made me chuckle. Yeah, that's that's 51 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:53.199 weird when you're used to doing so much and so much and so much, 52 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:54.719 and then of a sudden you start taking some of those things off and you're 53 00:03:54.759 --> 00:03:59.840 like, what am I supposed to be doing now? Yeah, And I 54 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:01.680 mean, don't get me wrong, it's kind of just it's a different kind 55 00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:09.039 of busy now. You know, my schedules different, you know. And 56 00:04:09.080 --> 00:04:13.560 then obviously there's other stuff, you know, family stuff that that you know, 57 00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:16.240 you still keep at the top of things that you prioritize on, and 58 00:04:18.519 --> 00:04:21.319 you know, and then to seventeen stuff that we're planning, which I'm sure 59 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:28.720 you'll talk more about that. Yeah, we can get it now that Yeah, 60 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:32.199 so nightmare last night we did. Yeah, And we have an event 61 00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:39.439 coming up on Thursday in Traverse City at the Grand Travers Event Center and it's 62 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:47.079 a speaking engagement and it's called Recovery Stories Message of Whole Part one and me 63 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:54.560 Adam Stevens from two seventeen Recovery and then Lenny and Kendra we were all in 64 00:04:54.600 --> 00:04:58.800 treatment together and we were all at this Recovery Stories training, which a few 65 00:04:58.839 --> 00:05:02.480 podcasts ago. I told the story that I was doing there, and so 66 00:05:02.519 --> 00:05:05.160 we were all at this training and I figured, well, heck, if 67 00:05:05.160 --> 00:05:09.360 we're having a you know, speaker thing, like, let's all four of 68 00:05:09.439 --> 00:05:14.040 us get up there and do our stories and kind of kick it off and 69 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:20.319 then let Mary and David do the like longer message of hope. So it'll 70 00:05:20.360 --> 00:05:23.720 be it'll be fun to be interesting. But last night I had a nightmare 71 00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:27.519 that like we were planning it, but yet we were like setting it up 72 00:05:27.560 --> 00:05:31.360 for the next two and the speakers I was trying to get like weren't there, 73 00:05:31.519 --> 00:05:35.720 weren't available, and I was trying to piece it all together. And 74 00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:39.160 it's really not a hard thing. You know, we're going to serve dinner 75 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:42.240 there, which you know piece some people are like, oh, I forgot 76 00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:47.120 mom, But it's spaghetti. That's not hard. It's a some would consider 77 00:05:47.240 --> 00:05:53.600 comfort food. And it's something that we can deliver on a budget that we 78 00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:58.040 have, you know, which is zero. So we rented the space, 79 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:00.959 and you know what else do we really need? You know, we're going 80 00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:04.439 to make some programs so people, hey, here's who's talking, here's you 81 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:10.680 know whatever. But that's something we can do in house. And you know, 82 00:06:11.720 --> 00:06:15.000 I think Coca Cola came through with donating some drinks a little bit and 83 00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:18.600 we'll see what we can get, you know from that. And yeah, 84 00:06:18.680 --> 00:06:24.240 it's it's pretty simple. And I've been trying to convince myself, like, 85 00:06:24.319 --> 00:06:29.000 don't overthink it, don't stress yourself out, cause at the end of the 86 00:06:29.079 --> 00:06:30.879 day, you know, we're not trying to sell tickets to it. It's 87 00:06:30.920 --> 00:06:34.879 free everybody who wants to come. Yeah, the thing that I think I'm 88 00:06:34.920 --> 00:06:39.680 freaking out about the most is I want to record it and I'm gonna use 89 00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:43.560 three different cameras to do that, and I can't just hit record and go, 90 00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.199 you know, We're gonna have to stop it after each person, and 91 00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:48.480 I just want to make sure I have people manning the camera. So that's 92 00:06:48.639 --> 00:06:50.839 kind of the thing I'm freaking out a box. I don't want to screw 93 00:06:50.839 --> 00:06:54.759 it up. But again, even if I do, oh, well, 94 00:06:55.759 --> 00:07:00.959 you know, like we're not I don't know, I don't know. I 95 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:04.680 want. I want it to be like a cool event. But at the 96 00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:06.720 same time, there's only so much I can do, you know, as 97 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:10.600 long as people show up that are going to speak, you know, And 98 00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:14.680 yeah, it's not like we need one hundred people to make our money back. 99 00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:16.720 We don't know. It's nothing like that. So it's that pressure is 100 00:07:16.759 --> 00:07:20.720 not on. But are you feeling pressure about that? I think it's more 101 00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:27.720 like one of those like you can't where it's going to be held is going 102 00:07:27.759 --> 00:07:30.439 to be we don't have access to right, we don't have It's not like 103 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:34.959 we can go check it out and like figure out and bring stuff there ahead 104 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:40.560 of time. And you know, like I would love to be able to 105 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:43.959 set up and get things organized and ready to go. And so all we 106 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.279 know is this is what we need to do when this we don't know anything 107 00:07:46.319 --> 00:07:50.560 about, Like that kitchen, we don't know. I mean, we have 108 00:07:50.639 --> 00:07:55.560 to come in pretty much armed with everything that we're going to need for the 109 00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:01.800 most part. So that piece is a little bit you know, nerve wracking. 110 00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:07.720 But the I I love calming myself down when I'm think about the fact 111 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:11.360 that the whole purpose of this is for to hear people talk about their recovery 112 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:18.199 and giving that message of hope and and their success story and that what has 113 00:08:18.199 --> 00:08:22.360 gotten them to where they are at right now. That's the purpose of it 114 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:26.439 all. And if the food is like I mean, it'll happen, It'll 115 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:31.079 get made. It'll be fine. You know, we're not claiming to be 116 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:35.360 any sort of like super chefs or anything. It's just going to be simple, 117 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:39.720 easy, you know. But I'm sure everybody's had worse food. Who's 118 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:43.039 going to eat it. I'm sure that they've had better. But it's going 119 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:46.200 to be you know, I think it's gonna be pretty simple, but it's 120 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:50.279 gonna be great. Yeah, And it's about camaraderie. It's about you know, 121 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:54.519 being around each other and you know, people who have like like minded 122 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:58.399 people who have the same goals. Because if you think about it, like 123 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:03.200 I know that there's a treatments that aer coming and put yourself in the place 124 00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:07.840 of those people. You know, we've been to treatment many times, so 125 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:09.600 like for us to go like, if you're in treatment, you're going to 126 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:15.360 event like that, what would you expect and what would you want to hear? 127 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.559 You know, And it depends depending on what treatment, what time I 128 00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:20.799 went, you know, personally, like where my brain was at and what 129 00:09:20.840 --> 00:09:28.039 I was thinking. It was good to hear from people who didn't just bullshit 130 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:35.519 people and the people that were having speak nobody's bullshitting anybody that there's no this 131 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:37.960 is what I do now and I'm so awesome, you know. Really, 132 00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:39.360 it's it's like, hey, this is this is where I'm at now, 133 00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:45.320 and because I'm in recovery and no, our life's not perfect, but it's 134 00:09:45.360 --> 00:09:48.799 a lot better than what it used to be. You know. I had 135 00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:52.759 a friend mine on Facebook the other day put on there sober for what you 136 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:56.240 know, why am I sober? You know? And she was like bitching 137 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:01.559 about just life was so hard for her still and she hasn't been sober long 138 00:10:01.679 --> 00:10:05.759 I'm talking weeks, you know, and that's one of the things you go 139 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:09.639 through in that moment because your brain's still wanting that drug. And then like 140 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:13.559 somebody, one of her friends put on there, Oh, just smoke some 141 00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:16.039 weed, You'll be fine, and I'm like, oh my god, Like 142 00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:18.879 that's again, people smoke weed, do your thing. But if you have 143 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:22.600 a problem with drugs, there's a good chance. And it was for me 144 00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:26.279 or marijuana will make me want to do more. And that's just me. 145 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:30.960 I'm just speaking for myself, but for someone who's struggling like she is, 146 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:33.320 and I'm pretty sure it would send her right back into the same like Okay, 147 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:37.679 well I want some more meth now, you know, because weed's not 148 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:39.000 going to cut it for it because it might sound cool. Oh yeah, 149 00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:41.639 smoke some weed and just chill out. Yeah, okay, Well some people 150 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:43.720 can't do that. Some people smoke some weed and now they want to do 151 00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:48.960 some math because guess what, the weed wasn't enough, and now they're under 152 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:52.200 the influence of a drug, you know, which changes how you think and 153 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:56.360 how you feel. So I just was like, I didn't say anything, 154 00:10:56.360 --> 00:10:58.840 but I just just shaking my head, like, no, that's probably do 155 00:10:58.919 --> 00:11:01.000 the opposite of that, you know, talk to somebody, call your mom, 156 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.480 like do something, give it some time, like, you know, 157 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:11.279 we didn't become addicts overnight. You know, you can't undo your addiction. 158 00:11:11.399 --> 00:11:16.799 It's it's learning how to cope with thoughts and feelings and emotions around the whys 159 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:20.919 of why you feel like you need to drink or drug and then figuring out 160 00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:24.279 different ways to get through those moments and realize that there are other things in 161 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:28.720 life, like there always has been, and we tapped into those so much 162 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:33.879 before we were introduced to drugs and alcohol, and then we just normalize those 163 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:39.320 that those that addiction to where we felt like we needed it when we don't. 164 00:11:41.399 --> 00:11:45.080 That's just something else that we did that we became reliant on. And 165 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:48.399 whether it's because we were trying to forget about stuff or get through stuff or 166 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:54.240 you know of social lubricant or whatever you want to call it, it's you 167 00:11:54.279 --> 00:11:58.039 know, you have your you have yourself in you. You just need to 168 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:05.080 like tap back into it and love yourself again. I was trying to explain 169 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:09.799 like the beginning part of that, the whole recovery process to people at detox 170 00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:13.480 the other day, and talking at like a detox is way different than like 171 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:16.759 talking at a treatment center, you know, because like these people, like 172 00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:20.799 some of them are just like force themselves to be there just to you know, 173 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:22.159 not like forcing themselves, but like to get out of bed because they 174 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:28.279 feel so bad. But the you know, the way the brain serotonin all 175 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:31.399 that works and how the levels work, and I was trying to explain to 176 00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:33.559 them that like you're going to hit the wall part, you know, and 177 00:12:33.759 --> 00:12:37.639 nothing will make you happy, like as like say if ice cream, Like 178 00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:41.159 you eat ice cream and you're like this is great. It won't be great. 179 00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:46.279 You'll eat ice cream any like this sucks because your brain won't enjoy it. 180 00:12:46.440 --> 00:12:48.559 It'll be I'm most damn near impossible to enjoy anything that you used to 181 00:12:48.679 --> 00:12:54.440 enjoy that wouldn't normally make you happy because the levels are so down, you 182 00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:58.120 know, and your brain's not making it and it's just it's hard. And 183 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:01.759 they're just looking at me like thanks for the bright future outlooks, you know, 184 00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:05.039 and it's like, well, I'm just saying, you know, but 185 00:13:05.080 --> 00:13:07.159 I was kind of talking about, you know, doctors, and there are 186 00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:11.360 certain medications that help with that, you know, like some depression medication. 187 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:13.000 But talk to your doctor. Work with your doctor if you don't want to 188 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:16.279 take something. You know, they try to put me on prozac or something 189 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.120 like that, something that told me I had to take the rest of my 190 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:22.440 life, and I'm like, I don't want to do that, and you 191 00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:26.799 can voice your concerns for certain drugs, ask about the Okay, what are 192 00:13:26.840 --> 00:13:28.279 the side effects for that? How long do I have to be on it? 193 00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:31.759 Can I take a small dose first? You know, like really talk 194 00:13:31.799 --> 00:13:35.879 to your doctor about some of those options and things, because some of that 195 00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:37.200 really does help. And I know, like I was on zolof and that 196 00:13:37.639 --> 00:13:43.120 kind of helps balance you out a little bit, but there's some side effects 197 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:43.519 with it, you know, and you just got to know, Okay, 198 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:48.960 well how much do I need to take to not have those side effects and 199 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.840 see if that helps? But yeah, just talking with your doctor and work 200 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:54.639 with that doctor. But I was at a point where it was like, 201 00:13:54.679 --> 00:13:58.440 Nope, I'm not taking any medicine and everybody's out to make money off me, 202 00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:01.840 and blah blah blah. And you know, but that goes back to 203 00:14:01.879 --> 00:14:05.399 me going to California and them telling me I had to be on some kind 204 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:07.080 of medication so that they could build the insurance for it. And I'm like 205 00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:11.159 what They're like, yeah, we need to build the insurance for some stuff 206 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:13.840 like that. I'm not kidding on stuff, just so you can build the 207 00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:16.879 insurance, right, you know, Like I don't know why the lady even 208 00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:20.120 told me that, but that really that whole California trip, the first went 209 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:24.559 to a treatment that really put that in my head that people were just out 210 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:28.840 to make money even when I was on Medicaid. Nobody's making money off me, 211 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:30.759 man, you know, but I was still like, they're out for 212 00:14:30.840 --> 00:14:33.679 my money. Okay, first of all, it's not my money, and 213 00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:39.039 no, and again some but some treatment centers are like that. I'm not 214 00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:41.360 saying that they're all hunky dory, but some are like that. Some only 215 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:45.600 care about money and it really shows. But if you can find a really 216 00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:48.720 good one and go to a good place, you know, they're they're out 217 00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:52.240 there, you know. So not everybody's out to take your money or to 218 00:14:50.840 --> 00:14:56.039 get you get your medicaid. And sometimes they put you in programs and you 219 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:58.279 might think, well, they're only doing this because they want to charge well 220 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:03.559 that and because that helps you, you know, And there are times where 221 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:07.600 the treatment centers or counseling centers, whatever you want to call them, there's 222 00:15:07.639 --> 00:15:11.080 a time where they need to make money, you know. And let me 223 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:13.840 just tell you a little fact about Michigan and how they build medicaid. You 224 00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:18.559 know, they they give you the little penny to it it should be a 225 00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:22.639 dollar. They flip a little penny. Here you go, here's your here's 226 00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:26.519 your money. For example, you're a therapist, Martie, like if you 227 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:31.159 were to break off and do your own private practice and work for whatever, 228 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:33.919 and you you know, took people with Priority Health, which is insurance that 229 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.759 we have a two seventeen recovery and you could charge one hundred and fifty bucks 230 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:43.200 for an hour. Sure, Okay, that's pretty good. You went to 231 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:46.039 school, you worked your ass off, you did a lot of work, 232 00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:50.480 and you should be paid for that. So you do the hour. Now, 233 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:54.600 Medicaid would pay thirty eight dollars, right, Which one are you going 234 00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:58.000 to do? You know? So that's why it's hard for these places to 235 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:02.440 keep therapists. Like, why you do it isn't because you want to be 236 00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:04.279 rich. You want to do it so you help people, sure, and 237 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:08.759 that in turn makes us rich inside. You know, that feeds our soul 238 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:14.559 and that's beautiful. And if that keeps us sober and you get paid for 239 00:16:14.600 --> 00:16:15.559 it, what the hell? Why not? You know? Plus you love 240 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:18.200 the people and the company you work for, so it's all good. But 241 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:22.600 it's hard for other people who maybe don't have an addiction, don't have a 242 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:26.960 problem, or aren't in recovery, and they're out about that scrilla, you 243 00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:30.559 know, so they want to go out there and make that match better, 244 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:34.360 that paper get them coins. I think that there needs to be some sort 245 00:16:34.519 --> 00:16:38.039 because what you're talking, what you're talking about is completely one hundred percent true, 246 00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:45.480 which is why there are so few mental health places, agencies, private 247 00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:51.240 practices, what have you. That what it's called is it's called paneled. 248 00:16:51.399 --> 00:16:57.279 It means you're able to accept certain insurances. And the truth of the matter 249 00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:04.119 is is that you're that The especially private practice is that you're not reimbursed. 250 00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:08.480 You're only reimbursed for what the insurance company says that they'll reimburse you for right 251 00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:12.200 for that amount. So you can say I charge one hundred and fifty dollars 252 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:18.000 self pay out of pocket per session, right, which is pretty standard at 253 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:22.559 least for this area. Well, if a person says I'll pay out of 254 00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:25.160 pocket, I would that's what I'll pay. Great. But if you say, 255 00:17:25.240 --> 00:17:29.680 if they say I have insurance, and whether it's blue cross Bow shield 256 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:37.359 or priority, they're at each insurance company, it only will pay X amount 257 00:17:37.400 --> 00:17:41.279 of money out for that particular thing for that client to be met with. 258 00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:45.480 And so that's when certain that's why certain places decide if they're going to take 259 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:51.119 it or not. Right. I think what they need to do is they 260 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:55.319 need to somehow the government or whatever needs to step up and say if you 261 00:17:55.359 --> 00:18:00.319 panel for medicaid, if your agency panels for medicaid, like accepts medicaid, 262 00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:04.200 we will compensate. I'm not saying all of it right because thirty eight dollars 263 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.680 is different than one hundred and fifty. And I'm not saying all insurance as 264 00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:10.480 will reimburse for one hundred and fifty. Usually they don't. Usually it's like 265 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.920 one hundred and twenty or something like that, one hundred and thirty five at 266 00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:18.400 the most maybe, But like that means that, you know, if they 267 00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:22.400 was somehow compensated the fact, like we'll give you this, we'll give you 268 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:29.000 this much percentage if you panel these people because they need it, you know, 269 00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:32.720 because there's no place, there's nobody, no one that serves that around 270 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:37.440 here, very few agencies. There's waiting lists out the frickin door for people 271 00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:45.960 to see mental health professionals that have Medicaid. So and then it in not 272 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:48.119 saying anything wrong with this, but it opens the door for people who so 273 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:52.839 people who are like still in college and still earning their degree will go and 274 00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:56.799 they'll interurn or sometimes get paid I guess as they get certified or whatever, 275 00:18:56.839 --> 00:19:00.759 and like they have to use those people. And again that that that's bad, 276 00:19:00.799 --> 00:19:03.880 but these people haven't graduated all the time. That it was like that 277 00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:07.559 at a few places I was at, they do that with with Donald hygienis. 278 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:12.359 They do that with doctors. People that are not don't have their actual 279 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:18.200 MD whatever, but they can see patients and they just get all their big 280 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:25.119 signatures or whoever the physician is that they're working underneath. They do the doctor 281 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:30.880 work, but they are overseen by So it happens in all professions. So 282 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:37.319 when I'm governor and Ron Robinson's running with me, Winfield Robinson, co Governor 283 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:41.039 of Michigan, we're going to change some things. That's gonna be one of 284 00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:45.720 them. We're going to get people that are in there that are We're actually 285 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:48.960 gonna pay more out of medicaid because you know what, the money's out there. 286 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:52.599 Let me tell you everybody, the money's out there, and we're gonna 287 00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:59.200 put it to use, just saying because it is. You know, there's 288 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:03.720 so much money. And it was said the other day by quite a few 289 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:08.279 people to me about how the government, the federal government is pending money to 290 00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:12.720 help Ukraine, to help everybody else and help Israel. And does Israel need 291 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:18.599 money? I don't know, but what's happening over there is this horrific I 292 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.599 was watching a thing about the terrorists and how they came into the music festival, 293 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:26.799 and it was just it was horrible and I just I just couldn't imagine, 294 00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:30.559 you know, like it was just horrible. And you know, the 295 00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:33.720 innocent on the other side had nothing to do with it. You know, 296 00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:36.759 they just want to go to work. You know, they're they're probably not 297 00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:38.039 even about this war stuff. They're like, no, I just just want 298 00:20:38.039 --> 00:20:40.920 to truck, go to work and see my family and walk come home, 299 00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:44.240 you know. But they're feeling the run of it too. And you know, 300 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:48.119 I feel bad for all the innocent people involved. But does it mean 301 00:20:48.119 --> 00:20:53.759 we need to give them a billion dollars or three of how much it was? 302 00:20:53.759 --> 00:21:00.480 Like what you know, and yeah, if we give people college educations, 303 00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:02.920 well because I had to pay for mine. Okay, shut up. 304 00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:06.519 Think about future generations, you know, think about your kids kids, and 305 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:11.519 if you want to just break it down to like I can use Benton Harbor 306 00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:14.319 for an example, Bnent Harbor, Michigan. You know, it is ninety 307 00:21:14.359 --> 00:21:19.440 nine percent African American. And the way that the society in Benton Harbor, 308 00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:25.160 the culture of Bent and Harbors, it's different than here in Traverse City, 309 00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:27.279 way different, you know, and it's because of a lot of different things. 310 00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:32.319 But we would bring it back to Reagan when Reagan was like war on 311 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:36.039 drugs. You know, let's people who smoke crack, will go ahead and 312 00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:37.599 give them, you know, twenty years. If you get caught with cocaine, 313 00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:42.599 Eh, give me probation. It's the same effing drug. You know. 314 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:47.000 But who was using crack and who was using cocaine? Okay, well 315 00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:48.960 black people. So if you say, okay, so someone in Benton Harbor, 316 00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:53.359 you know who's guy maybe wasn't even selling crack, but he was selling 317 00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:56.519 it so we could smoke kids for free. There's a lot of people that 318 00:21:56.599 --> 00:21:59.559 do that. And so then he gets arrested and gets sent to prison for 319 00:21:59.559 --> 00:22:03.480 twenty years. Well who picks up selling to those people? Those people are 320 00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:06.839 still coming over. Oh okay, well someone in the family. And then 321 00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:08.480 I gets sussed, then someone in the family. So it just becomes this 322 00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:14.400 whole thing of people not even getting a chance at an education. And then 323 00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:17.039 when the White Flight happened to be at Harvard, you know, like all 324 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:19.440 the businesses went with, you know, the grocery stores, the drug stores, 325 00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:22.640 you know pretty much all those went and all the jobs, you know, 326 00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:26.160 and so what are people supposed to do? You know, it's like 327 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:30.240 a whole generational thing that Reagan screwed up by doing this war on drugs. 328 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:32.960 And it's like, Okay, now we have a chance to give people college. 329 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:36.640 They see a light at the end of the tunnel, there's hope there. 330 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:40.559 And now we can't do that because I had to pay for Mark college 331 00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:42.480 and market shut up, it's new. It's just move forward with it. 332 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:47.440 Think about generations down the line that can be helped by this. And we're 333 00:22:47.480 --> 00:22:52.079 sending billions of dollars away. And we got homeless people everywhere. Build a 334 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:55.279 house, but put them in an apartment complex. They're getting that for free. 335 00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:00.799 Okay, what are we sending this money? You know, Like, 336 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.240 why can't we use that to help our own people? Yeah, and when 337 00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:06.200 we do, we get met with resistance because people don't want to help people. 338 00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:11.400 Like it's so stupid. I just don't understand it. Man. Yeah, 339 00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:15.440 I was one of those people said that. He said, what I'm 340 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:18.920 like, why, I mean, it's not that I don't get helping humanity 341 00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:22.839 right wherever they are, like helping people that need it, right, regardless 342 00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:27.480 of just because they're not American. But there's things that Americans need that we 343 00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:33.440 don't have I mean, people are barely being able to live, you know, 344 00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:38.359 and have good jobs and can't be you know, are only barely making 345 00:23:38.359 --> 00:23:42.799 a buy. So it's you know, one of those things where it just 346 00:23:42.839 --> 00:23:48.559 it's kind of hard, hard to swallow that. It's like, and the 347 00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:53.079 federal government makes it at least obvious. Hey, we're doing this where the 348 00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:56.960 state they'll do sneaky stuff, you know, like with the money they get 349 00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:00.799 from like lottery and stuff like that, and we'll just that and then they 350 00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:03.039 do it, and it's so it sounds so good. We're going to put 351 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:07.720 that to cover the unemployment insurance or what is it, the workman's comp or 352 00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:14.799 I think it's unemployment insurance for emergency workers and think, oh that's great, 353 00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:17.400 Well, emergency workers don't pay that. It's the company. And guess who 354 00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:19.720 owns the state? You know, it's like wait, it's wait, you're 355 00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:23.039 back doors and you're only putting two million into this and you're only giving away, 356 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:29.519 you know, five hundred million of you know, probably six seven billion 357 00:24:29.559 --> 00:24:32.480 dollars that you're getting and wait, what where's the rest of it going? 358 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:34.240 Man? I really would like to set the treasure down and be like, 359 00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:37.920 so how did you learn to move money in numbers around like you do? 360 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:41.400 Like what did you go to the school of scam artists or something like? 361 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:45.279 I really want to know. So that's why I say, like, there's 362 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:51.440 money to do this, you know, to pay therapists well where I'm medicaid, 363 00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:52.680 like pay them higher than they would if they went on on their own. 364 00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:56.880 Let's keep the good ones in the house. Let's let's help the people 365 00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.160 who really need it. You know, maybe that would clear up a lot 366 00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:03.279 of trouble out there that's going on right now. And you think about it, 367 00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:10.039 is the population that's on medicaid right is the low income population who need 368 00:25:10.119 --> 00:25:15.720 better mental health situations to better themselves, right to work with somebody, to 369 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.720 be able to find self love and self confidence and be able to be better 370 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:23.359 performers at work and in school and in relationships, and you know, get 371 00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:27.400 out of their depression or whatever, to be able to function in this freaking 372 00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:32.480 world. So it's like not saying that people that are middle class and upper 373 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:34.759 class don't have those problems and don't need their be abbs of freaking lutely, 374 00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:40.160 but it's like that's a population that's not getting the mental health that they you 375 00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:45.720 know, that they need the support and the attention that they need. And 376 00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:52.039 it starts young too. There's a woman I know who her. She has 377 00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:57.640 three kids, and the oldest one just had incident where I guess the bad 378 00:25:57.839 --> 00:26:02.960 whatever, something bad happen and then it wasn't because the dad's a bad person, 379 00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:07.079 but just you know, wrong place, wrong time, but probably something 380 00:26:07.079 --> 00:26:08.279 that could change his life. So it's not like the worst thing in the 381 00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:14.559 world could have been though. Well, now the child is feeling some kind 382 00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:18.039 of way and it's like somebody needs to talk to him, you know, 383 00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:21.400 like that. And then not just the mom, because the mom is not 384 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:25.960 a therapist, she doesn't know, but somebody that the kid can trust and 385 00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:30.400 can talk to, you know, before he goes back to school or before 386 00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:34.119 you know, anything else triggers him and just becomes a major life trauma. 387 00:26:34.599 --> 00:26:37.039 You know what you're probably is going to be. Yeah, you know, 388 00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:41.279 it's like if we can catch that early. But I know the mom she 389 00:26:41.319 --> 00:26:44.039 has all right job, but she doesn't have enough, you know, to 390 00:26:44.319 --> 00:26:48.519 pay the fifty dollars co payment or whatever it is for him to see a 391 00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:51.440 therapist. And that's where it gets tricky, and you can't rely on the 392 00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:55.359 school therapist. There's how many three hundred kids in the school or something, 393 00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:59.079 you know, like it's crazy, So how does that kid get seen? 394 00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:03.519 You know? And it would be a lot easier if it was more accessible, 395 00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:07.039 I guess. But Ron and I will go over that. Ron Robinson, 396 00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:11.000 Cory Winfield, the governor of Michigan and whatever year. Next year, 397 00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:15.519 it's gonna be a great race. I can't wait. I need sixty thousand 398 00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:22.160 signatures. Oh no, no, it was not on purpose. I promise. 399 00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:25.519 I got a lot of bot friends on Facebook, so I'll see if 400 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:30.240 they'll sign for me. But no, I mean, it's just things need 401 00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:33.720 to change, you know. And I'm not Republican. I'm not a Democrat. 402 00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:37.920 I don't like either one of them. So it's just just the common 403 00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:44.119 sense party is when I would like to start, But I don't know, 404 00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:49.400 just some common sense and just do what's right and stop with the whatever they're 405 00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:53.039 doing with the money and saying they don't have it. That just really irritates 406 00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:59.559 me. It really does. Like our grant thing I was talking about and 407 00:27:59.559 --> 00:28:02.960 somebody asked, told you guys, get it, No we didn't. Don't 408 00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:04.519 fill out the papers waited, did all that, and then they're like, 409 00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:10.519 oh, well, you weren't established before January first of twenty nineteen. It's 410 00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:15.000 like no, we were established in a April of that year, so we 411 00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:18.119 couldn't get any So I'm like, okay, so any nonprofit that was established 412 00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:21.960 after that small nonprofit, which was hard because of COVID, we don't get 413 00:28:21.960 --> 00:28:25.160 any We get zero dollars of the COVID relief stuff that they put out. 414 00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:27.799 Yeah, zero, you know, and it's just like, what the hell, 415 00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:34.359 man, that's all right, just keep moving forward. I know it's 416 00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:37.279 comical, but it's not. I know, it's very fast. I know 417 00:28:37.319 --> 00:28:42.000 you were really upset about that. Yeah. So I reached out to Betsy 418 00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:45.920 Coffee and she didn't really write me back anything. And then I wrote her 419 00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:49.319 about the gambling thing, you know about, hey, they need to change 420 00:28:49.319 --> 00:28:52.359 their stuff, and then she just sent me back, oh, here's a 421 00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:56.400 recovery community organization grant. I'm like, what, it's not even what I'm 422 00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:00.599 talking about. And I wrote her the little laugh out loud. I was 423 00:29:00.599 --> 00:29:03.519 like, that's cute, but what I'm talking about. Come out with the 424 00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:06.799 gambling, like I wrote, I broke it down. I know, you're 425 00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:08.440 like, Cory, just move on. I know. Yes, that's what 426 00:29:10.599 --> 00:29:14.720 this is a recovery podcast. It is, it's a recovery podcast. But 427 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:18.440 I think that just speaks to how passionate you are about wanting to be able 428 00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:21.920 to find ways to help other people. I get that. And so when 429 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:26.039 there's barriers that are out of your control and feel frustration because it's not outlined 430 00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:30.200 well by the people that are offering, it makes you even more upset. 431 00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:32.960 Yeah, because when you and seriously, because not a lot of people just 432 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:36.559 read, like just go in and read, like what's really going on? 433 00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:38.079 Because when you do, it just pisses you off, and you're like, 434 00:29:38.119 --> 00:29:42.160 wait, they've been doing this the whole time. So they count on people 435 00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:47.200 not to read things. So what you do is moving forward is things you 436 00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:51.160 can read. Ye read things and use this as a learning experience, right 437 00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:55.880 that you do sometimes need to read the small print and do some research on 438 00:29:56.079 --> 00:30:00.720 ones that we do fit the criteria for and you can get sixty thousand signatures 439 00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:07.279 and you run for governor Govnat of Michigan Winfield Robinson, twenty twenty four. 440 00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:11.720 It's the last time I'm doing that. It's a promise, Okay, but 441 00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:17.440 yeah no. And but as part of that though, that actually does keep 442 00:30:17.480 --> 00:30:22.680 me sober is helping other people and seeing like little things in the system and 443 00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:26.400 it's like wait, no, no, no, not getting away with that, 444 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:29.079 like mid state, Okay, do you want to just get off this 445 00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:33.400 subjective yep. And I know if you want any more information and want to 446 00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:36.000 chat with Corey about any of those things that he was talking about, you 447 00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:40.039 can definitely email him and maybe he could do a discord with you signed to 448 00:30:40.039 --> 00:30:42.119 be one of the signatures or something. Yeah, but for the rest of 449 00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.319 you, we'll save you that. Cory c r e Y at two seventeen 450 00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.480 Recovery dot Com. I look forward to your email. So we're gonna do 451 00:30:48.519 --> 00:30:52.400 football and probably pizza today. We kind of found a new pizza place that 452 00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:57.519 we like. It's delicious and I think it's I think it's I mean, 453 00:30:57.839 --> 00:31:03.039 it's different then what we're the normal Dominoes, which is was our go to 454 00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:08.519 for forever. Yeah. So yeah, and hopefully if you're you know, 455 00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:15.599 watching football today, Lions people all about the Lions now and shout out to 456 00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:17.880 the Lions. Thanks for giving us tickets last year. That was that was 457 00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:22.599 sweet. Appreciate that so they support people in recovery, so we support them 458 00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:26.319 and that's why they're doing good karma. Yeah, totally see how that works. 459 00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:32.160 Yeah, but a little hard to get tickets now, I can't imagine, 460 00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:33.359 but we do appreciate it. Last year and them hooking us up, 461 00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:37.640 that was really fun. Yeah. Yeah. But we have lovely family in 462 00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:41.680 town this weekend too, so we get to spend some quality time with them. 463 00:31:42.279 --> 00:31:48.440 And yeah, everything's going good. Just enjoying the Sunday. Yeah, 464 00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:52.160 so enjoy your Sunday. If you don't want to get worked up, don't 465 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.440 read anything we stay or something like that. Don't be looking for stuff. 466 00:31:56.880 --> 00:31:57.920 But no, I have a good day. And Martie, thank you for 467 00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:02.440 being on the podcast today. You're missed absolutely. Thanks for listening to the 468 00:32:02.519 --> 00:32:08.480 two seventeen Recovery Podcast. We hope you come back for our next episode.