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The opinions expressed by Chayo Busquets are
supported by his extensive experience as a family

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therapist and in the previous analysis of
the cases presented here welcome. This is

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Chayo with you. We begin very
good afternoon to everyone how they are notice

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that not all teenagers are rebels to
an exaggerated degree. Many times here on

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the program we talk about the teenage
rebel, the complicated issues with them and

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so on. Suddenly it would seem
like we' re putting all the teenagers

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in a very complicated, complex,
very difficult place. And it' s

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not like that. It is true
that there are teenagers who enter but with

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force to the adolescent stage and absolutely
all the issues, at least the important

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ones in a family becomes a subject
of conflict, But there are many teenagers

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who enter this stage in a much
softer way, with some other characteristic,

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but without greater subject, without convulsing
the family. And this I clarify because

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many times they write to me telling
me listen, is that my son does

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not present all the problems that you
talk about in the program. I have

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to worry. No, you don' t have to worry, you have

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to take into consideration that we talk
about what causes trouble or can cause it

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in adolescence to give you management strategies
for this. But if in your life,

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the adolescence of your children, of
one of your children, of your

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only child, flows in a comfortable
way, man, enjoy it very much.

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Note that one of the elements that
we have to deal with most adults

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is how we relate to the discomfort
that occurs in our children when we give

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an order, when we make a
comment, when we do not agree to

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what they ask. And in that
context, they' re certainly not going

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to like it. They get angry, maybe they cry, maybe they say

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they feel sad. Anyway, there
can be all kinds of answers, depending

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on the style your child has and
how you' ve been educating him.

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But the truth is that that'
s going to bounce into discomfort in me

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and sometimes we have to ask ourselves
what makes me say yes to my son

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that I don' t want him
to go through the discomfort of no or

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what happens is that I don'
t want to go through him discomfort that

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causes me the discomfort of my son, because what motivates me. The yes

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you tell your child are very important
and will have a big impact on their

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education. So make sure that when
you say yes, you actually mean yes

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to hear how they feel about this. A few months ago, my husband

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cheated on me. I asked him
what he was doing with that person,

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but he said no, he paid
him to be with her and today I

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can' t be well alive thinking
about what he did. Even again I

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found evidence that you can still do
the same thing. I did not claim

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them, but I am sad how
particular not this circumstance. It would seem

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that, by the answer of this
man who has nothing to do with walking

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with someone other than having paid to
have sex. For you, that makes

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some difference, because clearly, for
this woman the feeling is, because I

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don' t care or is the
basic principle. It would seem like you

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were with someone else and that'
s enough given the marriage agreement we'

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re in. What surprises me is
this part. Not so much because you

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have to claim him. There'
d be someone who' d say no

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man beat her, but the point
I want to go to is I don

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' t think there' s a
claim to be made. I think we

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need to talk, we need to
talk about what' s going on,

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why this is necessary. And if
you consider that this is something that can

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be part of your marriage or not, and from there you have to define

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that it goes on. And well, clearly, clearly this as everything that

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involves a participation, a contest,
an entry to try to be part of

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something and so on, as it
is not accepted, generates frustration. Frustration

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is nothing but that something is not
happening, as I would like it to

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happen. Therefore, there are small
frustrations, there are bigoted frustrations. And

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the question is how do you accompany
your child in the process of experiencing,

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of experiences where things didn' t
go completely as he wanted. How you

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train that tolerance of frustration, because
it' s a daily subject. Even

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the most pleasant moments do not cease
to have any situation. That is why

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we are uncomfortable that we would have
preferred it to be different, that we

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would have chosen to do otherwise.
So educating tolerance to frustration makes us live

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the discomforts of everyday life with the
best possible attitude. So, if you

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' re seeing little tolerance for frustration
in your kids, it' s time

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to pay attention and have them practice
a little bit every day. One of

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the most complicated things to do for
parents is to make it worth the redundancy,

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for children to do what they are
being asked to do. That part

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becomes always complicated and the eternal question
is how I ask you not to repeat

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twenty times the same instruction. Well, the middle challenge is quite clear,

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not so simple to do why it
makes us complex everyday. But you have

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to break the bad habit and then
what we need is to give the order.

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Pick up the towel. Please,
if it doesn' t move and

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you don' t show any sign
of having or hearing you' re leaving

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what you' re doing. You
go stand next to your son and tell

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him I told you to lift the
towel you keep him from being what he

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was doing, that he' s
distracted from the instruction and at that time

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you make him do it. Once
he picks it up, you say thank

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you. You turn around, you
go back and do your thing, and

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you let him go on with what
he was doing. When this becomes a

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habit, kids learn to obey the
first dream of all covers. True,

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yes, but it is possible then
two minutes already by two in the afternoon

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and notice that one of the situations
that has increased more and more is the

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fact that people ask themselves if they
want to be a father, a mother

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of a family, if they want
to have children, and this is something

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that has been increasing in a truly
striking way of some years, already here,

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where the idea of having children as
a natural part of life, as

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an unquestioned part of life, is
something that, therefore, has gained relevance.

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As I was saying, and I
think the big question here is why

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we would have to question ourselves,
if we would have to be parents,

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and I think about it more individually, no yes, you and I,

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as a couple, want to be
parents. Of course, that will have

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to be asked in due course.
But first, the question is completely personal.

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I want to have children. It
gives me identity in life, it

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gives me reason to be having a
child what and sometimes ask us why I

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want to have a child for what
I want to have a child, what

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I learned about parenting, and motherhood
is something that becomes very important, because

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to some extent that will have influence
on the way I end up relating to

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those children and I have them not
many times in the office they tell me

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I love and love my children,
but I would have liked to be one

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of the people who wondered if I
wanted to be a mom or if I

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wanted to be a dad And this
has moved You, what you think,

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how you see it, you were
automatic, even if you were happy and

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fascinated or fascinated with them. Or
you asked yourself and if you don'

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t have them yet. It'
s a question you' ve asked yourself

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and how seriously you' ve answered
it. These days we were asking here

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if you are reliable and how reliable
you are and notice that most of the

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people who wrote me to answer this
pointed to two elements. The first,

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what they tell me, I do
not repeat it, I keep confidentiality in

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what they tell me and the second, which appeared as very constant I say

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what I fulfill, I act in
works As I think, these two elements

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did to all those who took the
time to write and tell what it is

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that does them. Reliable were the
elements that were being put there. And

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an additional one, which is nothing
more I say, the people I relate

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to tell me not then how important
it is that what I believe of me

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others have confirmed to me that that
is true.“ So you would think

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that there is an additional element that
would make a reliable person trust one of

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the people who responded to this whether
you are reliable or not,” he

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replied in a very blunt and clear
way. Trustable yes, confident no,

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and for a moment I stayed a
little bit like reading, saying ah what

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this is and then I thought how
much wisdom. They have those words,

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because in life we have to learn
to take care of ourselves and learn to

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take care of ourselves it is just
to be happy to let the circumstances,

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people show us who they are who
they are not, because from the outset,

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we all seem adorable, true,
but not necessarily. Reality is going

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to confirm that circumstance. And you
have to be careful. And this is

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one of the elements that I thank
very much to the one who wrote it,

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because somehow it gives a very clear
line. I am reliable, but

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I know myself, I do,
I know that I offer and what is

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with me. But I leave carefully
when it comes to the other, because

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we don' t want to get
hurt. And this is a great lesson,

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a great life lesson that I thank
you so much, to you that

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you took the time to share.
And well, it' s time to

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say until tomorrow we meet here tomorrow
Thursday, about one o' clock in

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the afternoon, in more than chayo
with you having an extraordinary afternoon. I

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' m Chayo Buscats. This was
chayo with you and we heard each other

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here tomorrow at the point of an
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