Uh, what's up? Everybody? Welcome to Rose Pricks. I'm mad?
Why because this show is so terrible? It is so bad? How how
is this still going? It's probably not long for this world if I'm honest.
But if let's break down your anger, Like, let's say I'm your
therapist, what are you what are you the most mad at? It?
Like I'm the most mad at Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval. I feel like
they remind me of kind of like Beavis and butt Head, Like they're like
you're going to say that, they're like completely talks kind of talks like this,
and then Schwartz goes his hair like crazy orange white hair. Yeah,
and it just feels like a like a bad cartoon, Like I'm watching really
bad acting. And Tom Sandoval is not a real person. He's just like
a shell of a He's just I don't know what it is. He's not
an actual person. And he's so aggressively dumb, like the every when he
talks, he just kind of talks like, huh, what ask you this?
Would you say if you were, like, let's say I was doing
a focus group, would you say that Tom is a worm with a mustache?
Would you say a lot, a little bit a lot and a okay,
a lot, a lot, Okay, a lot a lot. So
we're just gonna go and mark you down as a lot a lot that he
is a worm with a mustache and macro note on this note on what you're
to piggyback, what you're saying, James is kind of our He the hero
we never thought we could ever have. James kind of came through like he's
he gave us a little something. I mean, personally, I missed Joe.
I did miss having Joe. I just think it's weird that she just
wasn't there at all. But okay, we'll deal with that later. But
James was you know, he saved the episode. I think I guess so,
but I almost feel like, why why do we even need Like yes,
we're all thinking that, we're all like this is just a joke,
Like he's there with this stupid band, and I just got very irrationally angry
that he's even playing at the l Ray. I'm like, what is this
world? What is happening in this world? What is happening in our country?
Why are people why is everybody just like yeah, okay, Tom Sanderbal's
got a band. Yeah, it's like did you look at the Met Like
who's being invited to the met Gala? I mean it's all Kardashians, some
housewives. I mean, it's really not the world. Yeah, it's been
taken over forget Ai, Like this is what it is. I mean,
I guess what's the difference. Because they're hired to do a performing entertainment show
that they get paid to do and we watch. My difference is they got
rid of all the good writers and like all the good story That's the difference,
right, And I don't like Sheina, I know at all. I
really need that. I really just think she's a very distasteful person. And
I think they all just read as these giant narcissists. And even Ariana like
she's fine, but I'm like, I don't really care about you either,
Wow, even though even though I do think, I mean, the whole
rock heel thing is just crazy. But all of these people are just the
biggest attention horse. That's all it is. They just they're so starved for
attention that they will come back on a show that's exploiting their lives or whatever
and like ask for more. Let me give you a little metaphor a parable
if you will, okay, please do. I was at yoga today and
it's we're in a little park outside it's it's in Running Canyon and there's a
little park that's dated off and that's where we all do. Was the loud
lady there she was, but she was on the other side. I went
to the other side and it didn't bother me at all, Like the light
oming was totally okay. Today there was someone who apparently was shooting some sort
of TikTok video and she had like somebody following her with a camera, not
inside our little park area but in Runyon, so right outside the gates where
we were, and she kept doing this over and over again. So they'd
be like, okay, want you all you heard while you're trying to do
there's like one, two, three, go, and she was like no,
no, no, no, nah, you're not coming. Oh my,
how she was not kidding. It happened over I mean like we all
kind of started laughing, and then some people would get annoyed if you were
laughing, because it was like, you know, the kind of vibe of
like let everyone do their thing. We sit in no judgment here in yoga.
But it's like, no, I sit in all the judgment. Then
I'll take it. I'll do it. I'll judge. I'm the judger.
Then you guys do whatever you need to do. It was insane, and
I guess my point being is that everyone is an attention work, like do
you think everything? Just because we live in Los Angeles, so we feel
we feel almost personally responsible for these people. We're like, this is our
town that these people are, you know, on our streets, on the
mean streets of Los Angeles. This video could have been happening very you know
close bought Like yeah, it felt like an American idol like audition slash like
reject montage. It was really weird to hear over and she was completely serious
and I guess, you know, you could argue, well, it's all
of our space outside where else she's gonna shoot her very important TikTok video.
I get it, and I can't. It shouldn't bother me, but like
it does because we don't. Like it's just the space, and you feel
like the Vanderpump people they're up in your space by being annoying and they're just
taking up all the space. I just feel like, what is this that?
I'm what is this? Why? And I felt kidnapped, I guess
held hostage. That's how I felt by the lady making the TikTok video though,
that's exactly exactly how I felt. So what you're saying is you loved
this episode? No? No, no, no, no no, all
right, let's get into it. Okay, Well, let's start with Kyle
chan whoever that the fuck is? Oh? That's whose store they go to?
Uh oh oh oh oh yeah to shoot the video, which you know
as quote, yes, why? And also is she is she even?
Is she a singer? Because no, no, she's not anything because the
music was just guys singing. Well, they over they redid it, so
they did this sort of like green Day. It's not actually green Day.
Obviously, they did like a green Day k rock version of it, like
they read it. Is she even in it? Why is she there?
She's not singing. There's not one moment of her singing a song, right,
I don't know. You have to ask her she's here? You you
you've been following this show for longer than I have. You owe me an
explanation. I don't know it. I can't speak for Sheena ever. But
I mean, has this been a thing with her this video? Have you
ever heard her sing? Yes? Yes, she sings good as Gold ten
times. I mean she's not really singing. It's completely all auto tuned and
robot because megged as I believe she's saying it at one of her weddings.
Yeah, no, she is a fucking nightmare. And that video was cringe
and you could tell that everybody that was there thought that, and they're like,
oh my god, we're still doing this so sad. We're still no
new things you don't want to create, like a baby monitor that you put
your name on or something you don't want to partner with somebody in that space,
You're going to keep pushing the song. Na. She takes herself so
seriously. And then we get a call from Katie, who I was one
thousand percent on Katie's side for whatever reason. I don't care if she was
totally lying and she just didn't want to see La la or be a part
of this train wreck, but I was completely on her side, and I
felt like, who the fuck are you to start judging like, oh,
she's lying, she's lying. She just didn't want to come, Like what
camp, a person can get sick. Wait, is that what Sheina was
saying? Yeah? Oh yeah, She's like, and then I've been I
was trying to do the Sheena voice, much to the dismay of Monroe my
Dog. I don't know, because I was trying to do it always comes
out Drew Barrymore. But I realized it's like it's not like it's not vocal
fry. It's like it's more like it's like a bubble at her throat.
Right. She's like, I don't know why Katie didn't comback. I just
think it's weird that Katie didn't come. That's what we're That's what we're sitting
here trying to eat our TV dinners listening to I don't know when Katie didn't
come, but she didn't want to come see me do good as Cold?
Yeah? Yeah, I think that's pretty close to it, except that she
had more. There was more judgment because she was annoyed and she was like,
I think she's faking. I don't think she is sick. I don't
think she's really sick. I think she just is mad and doesn't want to
be around La La all of you. First of all, can we stop
calling her la la even can we just even pull pull the wool over that?
That's not how you say it, pull the wool over it, you
know what I mean. Okay, so everybody's being a nightmare. I just
read to hate them some much and they'll end this song. You probably don't
even remember this. It's it's hard. But at the end of the song,
Shina does this weird fake like oh that I just thought was like,
what are you Katrina in the ways? I'm walking on? For what reason?
Right? I think she's just mad. You just don't. I mean,
you love her. I think you're sexually attracted to her, but you
don't know why and you can't. You're just having a hard time dealing with
that. That's what I think. I think you want to leave John for
her. But you know what, we'll talk about that another day. I
think that's for a different podcast. Yeah, she's awful. James and Ali.
So they're discussing the fact that Rockkala or Rachel did a podcast. Did
you hear this podcast? I heard a little bit of it, yes,
and it's it's if you think that listening to Shina is obnoxious, go listen
to rock Out So So if you heard a little bit of it, what
was was it really bad? What she was saying, It's to me,
she's not the content Tea, It's not really I mean, yeah, I
guess in her world she did. It's not the content. It's it's just
how awful she is, like really cementing just how horrendous she is. To
me, that's not what she's trying to do, obviously, But yeah,
I mean, she's she's blaming everyone else but herself. She's saying, it's
Bravo's ball, it was bad edits she wasn't ever really that close to Arianna,
which we saw on the show that she was, you know, didn't
love Tom blah blah blah. I love all that. I mean, the
idea of saying, well I wasn't really that close to Ariana is so disgusting.
So that makes it okay, Well we weren't good friends, so yeah,
I had sex with her live in boyfriend at her house and they works
at her grandmother's funeral. But even if they weren't, it's like, oh,
I don't know how that's a defense from doing that. I know,
none of it's a defense. Nothing she says. I'm still shocked. And
I do think a lot of them are paid for. But when I look
online and I see all the people that support her, like at a support
her and hate Arianna, and I think it's paid for. I can't imagine
that there's that many people in the world that like are seriously forget how horrible
she was. I'm not And again we said this before. We're not saying
that means she should be bullied for the rest of her life or treated.
You know, everybody gets a chance to redeem themselves, everybody should gets some
grace. But like, yeah, I don't know, get doing a podcast
that Bethany basically got that ball rolling. I don't know if doing a podcast
and talking about how it's everyone's fault but her own. I mean, she
will occasionally say that she messed up and she's done the work right, all
that kind of stuff, But you know, I don't know. I wouldn't
buy it. I don't know. I haven't I don't know her, But
yeah, i'd be pissed if I were them too about how she's just talking
about it. Anne was talking about James, so that's where it starts.
James is like, yeah, she was saying things about me and whatever on
the podcast, so everybody doesn't she's saying that she was she wasn't fully over
James. Did she say that? I think she said something else about it.
She said he was a bad dog dad, which would drive me fucking
crazy if someone said that. So then Shena comes over for some reason,
right and complains about the fact that Rachel never paid a lot of rent.
I don't know what that was. Yeah, that's a different They kind of
go away from James's house over to a different situation, and they're all also
discussing the podcast. So Ariana's mad as you would imagine. And then is
this one Tom like? So that Tom was Tom there? I? Yeah,
I'm not really sure the order of things because they move around a lot.
Yeah, because I just wrote I wrote something about how Rachel said she
wasn't that in love with Tom. But it could have been a different scene.
I don't think it really matters because we're going to come back to it.
But now La La is having a sperm donor party and I want to
kill her. What in the these people just need to be constantly celebrated for
everything. Oh yeah, great, well you're getting a sperm donor. How
did that become a storyline, and it's also fake. I mean, I
know we're not here yet, But when she asks Lisa vander Pump can I
have a party? Can I have my sperm donor party at your house tomorrow?
Why wouldn't you just have a scene where you ask her if you can
have the party? Eat? Or why make it so clearly fake? I
don't know, because they're just not good at it. They've lost the editors
or it's a producer fault here. I think, what do you think that
in your head if you were editing the show, Like, that's just not
believable at all that she would say, yeah, sure, have a huge
event at my house tomorrow, right, I can't. I don't know.
I don't know, but it's so So then is this where where they're at
the house and they're like rare Shina comes over to help Ariana like where's I
just wrote where's Anne? Because the house is a mess. So they're talking
about the house and then Sheena kind of starts organizing Ariana's house and she's like
you don't need to do that moving, Like you don't need to unpack boxes.
I'm literally gonna move. Yeah, it was very weird. Uh,
but I have. First, yes, I have, Arianna's house is a
mess because Anne's been fired. And then I wrote, hopefully we were going
to get Anne's side of this soon, because we're probably going to get Anne
on our podcast. Mm hmm for real, We're not even joking this stuff
that's happening. So yeah, we'll definitely get her aside whatever she can tell
us that it's going to be her, Mike, and then I just wrote,
f you, Cecily, because Schwartz looks so much like Powder that I
can no longer see anything else. And see now I don't see Powder,
I see Ellen every time he turned to her, And now I'm like,
it looks like Ellen, just Ellen, just dancing happy Ellen with the audience.
Okay, so well Ellen vibes so he and he and Sandoval. This
is where I was just like, oh my god, he's so dumb.
They're talking about Rachel so stuff, like she went on this podcast and said
she wasn't in love with me. You're talking about Sandoval. Yeah, when
it was like I'm shell shock, bro like like like I loved her like
and she like doesn't like love me like whatever, like to oh God,
doesn't ever just want to punch himself in the face. He reminds me of
Blue Steel, like that movie like Blue Steel. A you're talking about that
Sandoval, you know, what's his name doing Blue Steel? Then Ben Yeah
Willer, Yeah, Ben Stiller. What was the movie? It's not steel,
blue Steel. It's definitely not called blue blue Steel. Was let's call
it blue blue steel? Was the look that they gave. Yeah, blue
steel? What was it called that? And still there blue steel looking it
up. But if I was asking Monroe Zoolander, I don't want to be
We don't want to be those people now we're like our grandparents. What is
the thing? It was a movie and there was sperm in her hair land
and and then you answer like it's something about it was something about Mary and
you're like, no, no, different sperm. No, it was really
the sperm was all over her hair and it was like she used it as
hair gel. And it was that Cameron diaws Young like you get everything slightly
wrong, and you're like, it's something about Mary. Sadly that's only like
six months away. I know, I know, I know, okay,
okay, so yeah, I can't believe it. Like I was trying to
like I did all this like improving on myself, Like what the fuck was
out for? Bro? Like if she's not, like if you can't have
her back, like why am I trying to like be better? Then as
he fade cries, this is sparkly. You see his sparkly nail polish,
which he's now had like cymbols put in. He just has like a sparkly
blue with like little flags or something like bird stuffs whatever the panel. He's
just so try hard on in every way and you can't tell, Like I
used to think he was being ironic, but he's not. He's like I
don't know, Like I'm like, he's just so pissed, but never at
the person. They belong together, he and Rockel, they one hundred percent
belong together, I think. So then Schwartz is like, regardless of what
she said on the podcast, she probably wanted her voice heard or something,
you know, before she goes on and like does something else with their life.
You know what I mean? Bra, But it's over, Okay,
Bra? What is that? How is that helpful? Schwartz? It's not
helpful to Sanda. But that's why Sandoval is getting madder and matter I don't
need you to like carry out her narrative, dude brawl bro like bro.
So then so then they go to Tom Tom for no reason. I guess.
So Schwartz and Sandy's were just not doing that anymore. We're just not
even going to ever go there, like close, I mean, what yeah,
what the hell? I don't know. And now Lisa vander Pump is
like, we need to do brunch right because Pump closed right down the street,
and so they're moving the they're trying to get the brunch pump crowd.
Oh yeah, you know what thinks computer? I do not want to uh
update my Java? What is Java? Does anyone know? No? No,
I wrote, I wrote, I cannot get over how ridiculous Schwartz looks
with his the blonde hair. So Sandoval arrives. He's in a bad mood.
Yeah, Bra, I brought some strawberry pure okay. For some reason,
he like throws it like I roll aggressively throws that, here's your strawberry
pure okay, like whatever what else? Bra? And she's thinking, She's
like, are you upset? Tom? And he's like, yes, Lisa.
He always gets Lisa, yes okay, yes, like I'm upset and
she's like, and I hate that Lisa's playing so dumb too. I really
hate that the podcast I'm doing, I'm doing my only British accent is from
Oliver. So that's fine. Okay, you're Lisa, you said, because
you listened to the podcast. Yes, Lisa, obviously Lisa. Yes.
And she's like, but then she's playing so dumb. She's like, well,
are you mad? At? Are you mad? Why you He's like,
because she Raquel said, she doesn't love me like I loved her,
like more than anything of them, fucking'd like die for her. She's like,
calmed down sand of bal Yeah, and she doesn't care. She never
cared. That's the other thing I hate about Lisa and the fakeness is just
a couple episodes ago, she was pretending like she believed that Sandival was going
to hurt himself when we knew that he wasn't. Everybody else knew he wasn't.
They're right, and Lisa's like, you better invite him to the lake
because you know he's feeling very left out. She doesn't care, though,
here two weeks later she doesn't give a shit about him, but she does
say she's like to camera, she's like, well, I don't want him
to start spiraling again, right, so everybody better be very nice to sand
Aval so he doesn't spiral. So then she's like, what's going on with
the house then mm hmm, and he's like, yo, I don't know,
like I don't know what I want to do with it or whatever,
Like she said she would accept the offer I made, but like that was
like two weeks so long. Yeah, she waited so long, Lisa,
Lisa, And then anytime anybody calls him out, you're like, you're being
really broish, dude. He's like, sorry, then you imagine what that
would be like to date for nine years, right, So and so yeah,
now he's going to passively aggressively as Arianna said he was going to do.
Just sit on it some more, is what he's trying to do.
So all he did was try to pressure her, give me your decision,
give me your decision, just as of the last episode or whatever he was,
you know, which was probably a week before he was going up to
her at that whatever pool party place and saying, what are you going to
do about the house or are you going to accept my offer? And now
she's accepted the offer and he's like, I don't know. I'm on the
fence because I don't even know if I can afford to keep it. Of
course you can't, your stupid band. It's no, you can't. You
can't keep When we get to like the money part of this, well,
I have more to say about this. But so then Laala asked, Lisa,
can I have my sperm donor party at your house? I've already got
the catering, and this is yeah, this is where she says like,
uh, something about jizz, like a jizz fest or later someone calls it
a gist, which I thought would be a very good name for this episode.
Sure is best, But then she's like, no, jiggolfs. Then
I just started fast forwarding that conversation because I didn't want to hear what Lala
had to say about it. Right, I knew we were going to hear
it a thousand times. Ah. So now now we're back at Ariana's house
where she's packing up and she's trying to bond with Sheena over the back place.
Yeah they're they're tight, yeah, but Sheina just she's just she's I
don't know, she's not that nice to her though. No, that's true,
I'll give you that. And then brock Is you never know where you
stand with brock Hels. He's nice to your face and talk shit about her
arian included behind her back. But there they are just being annoying, right,
And then that points out to the at to us that you know,
Ariana's house has always been pretty messy, like this is or something that's new,
So she's you know, but you told me that before too. No,
it's it's pretty terrible. It's kind of disgusting. It's like bugs crawling
in and out of right, except that Marianna keeps going like like, yeah,
that's I think this is where I started getting annoyed at Ariana because she
just she doesn't accept any responsibility every thing. She's like, oh, that's
Tom's I don't know, I haven't touched. Somebody is calling me from BRUNEI
Should I take it? Yeah? I like it? Should? I actually
just to see? Now? What if it's Tom Sandobals it probably is.
What if it's the Prince of BRUNEI what if he has an offer for me?
What if I just hold on? Let me see if I have to
Yeah, I have to sleep in a haunted mansion for two million dollars.
I'll do it. I think that's good. Yeah, that's exciting. I've
never had anyone called from BRUNEI. I just feel pretty powerful right now.
I don't know what's happening. It's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty good.
It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. So yeah, the clean spaces,
Okay, trying to like move some water. She's just like, I'm
going to move this water and she's like, it's not mine. I don't
even drink room temperature water. But what it's this Christmas gift that's been sitting
here since December and it's August. Now, oh, I don't know.
That's probably Tom's And I mean she doesn't care. And that's for her thing
to care about, that has nothing to do with Sheina can stay out of
that shit. She doesn't have to come over. She's being rude. She's
being rude. Actually yeah, but now Arianna is wearing this insane outfit for
her interview. What is happening. It's a black She's wearing a black sheer
cat suit with black sheer gloves, so she's head to toe in black,
covering her hands and arms, and then like this big heavy like chain around
her neck. Is it like a bondage theme? What is she doing?
I don't know. I don't know what she's doing. I didn't even notice
it. I'm so in love with her right now that I just didn't even
I don't even see the bad I'm sorry, I know now. To add
insult to injury, We're off to watch Sandoval's band rehearse for the l Ray
and then he's he's asked James As to do a DJ set in front of
like opening for his band. So James goes over there. He's in a
bad mood. He's pissed. He's like he's ready to fight, come in
and hot. He's like, you'll rot night, and then he's basically just
telling him to Like. Tom's pissed about the podcast, and then I loved
that they were trying to use Raquel's words against each other. Didn't you find
that amazing? Yeah, so he said, uh, I think Tom said
she didn't think you could ever stop drinking when she told you you had to
stop drinking for the relationship. She didn't actually think you could do it.
And then James was like, yeah, she was never in love with you,
bro, I mean it was that was I mean good for good for
them. I guess to do that, but James kind of won that round.
I think, so yeah, and he's like, don't don't put and
he's like, don't put too much thought into it, like you were never
in love whatever. And then he says something He's like, but you're a
liar. James is like, you're a liar. I don't believe anything whatever,
right, and then yeah, that goes back and forth, and then
it just finally comes down to James is like, yeah, I'm not opening
for your stupid band, Like I don't. I don't need to do that.
And then Sandival's like, school, push some buttons on your laptop and
he's like, oh, well, thank you. Well no, first he
goes after Tom says, go push buttons on your laptop. Broth. Then
James goes what face with his little dog on the leash, like what's he
gonna do? Be like, uh oh my dog's leash. I'm gonna fucking
kick Tom's ass. Like come on, James, what are you gonna do?
I'm trying to think if they've ever been in a physical scrap, because
we have you let me think, because somebody got punched real hard about with
Schwartz though, maybe James with Schwartz who Okay, when Jack's and Sandoval had
the big fight who I'm trying to remember who punched too. I think I'd
both have gotten hurt pretty bad. But Jack's definitely got punched in the face.
But yeah, no, I think James was scrappy with him too.
I don't think Schwartz has ever been in it like a fist fighting. Well,
I tell you that, but so so Tom goes. So Tom does
say it again. He's just like I said, go push buttons on your
laptop and he's like, yeah, whatever, brah whatever, I will thank
you. That's that's his comeback. I will. Yeah, That's exactly what
I'll do because I am a DJ. Thank you, Thank you son Deval.
I'm loving James. If we had to do and we don't, but
if we had to do a quick like who would you sleep with kind of
thing, yeah, I would instead, just like I do James one hundred.
Then I guess you marry it. You do have to marry Schwartz,
then oh well, I mean you know it might be fun. You could
be his Joseph. Joseph, don't go, Joseph, come on, don't
go, Joseph, Joseph, Joseph, don't go. You're cool. We're
cool, all right? So La laws dumb ass firm donor party, right.
So Alie is over to the side with Katie and she's like, She's
like, yeah, I just want to check in with you about like that
girl's night the other night, Like because Lawa said you're really miserable and getting
upset easily. Is there any truth to that just during the pot? Come
on during the pot because they did show a reclip a recap, and she
did not say miserable. To be fair, that's not the word she used,
right, But Katie does not give a fuck. Katie's just like,
you know what, I'm just tired of dumb shit being brought up to me,
like whatever she called it, she knew what that shit was. She
didn't give into that. She doesn't care. She doesn't even want to be
there. She's so checked out. It's how I feel like she's not really
part of the shit. She doesn't care. I agree, which is sort
of the the grounding to the show a little bit. Yes, So Schwartz
goes to see Sandoval and guess what. These two guys are forty one and
four, respectively, and Santuel has an assistant. How do you feel about
Craig? Oh, my god, with Freddy Mercury. I met him.
I met him at Schwartz and Sandy's wow. I'm sorry that I had to
tell you that now, I'm sure, I'm sorry. I didn't tell you
exactly at the time, but I didn't know who I was meeting. I
didn't know I was meeting Royalty. It's true. Wow. So he's trying
to do like a mustage, he's trying to look exactly like him, and
it's just awful obviously that they think they're being all cute. It's so crazy
and annoying to me. How hipster. They're doing a hipster thing from you
know that movie that I hate that you love her. I don't love her.
I just don't hate it like you do, but I don't love it.
Yeah, well, I absolutely hated that movie. And this is it's
like having to watch that movie. Everyone's got a huge, you know,
mustache mustache, and then they have the old like Victrola with the huge horn
thing coming out of it, like everything is this weird vintage you know?
I mean, you just know that he also rides one of those bicycles with
one huge wheel, like around town. It's Clo Craig for sure. Yeah,
it's a very very highland park vibes, very east side vibes. I
don't know exactly why this is here to stay. I just think that he's
next going to go to like a steampunk phase. It's gonna be steampunk sand
of All. I just can't. I can't, But you have to.
You have to stay strong. I want you to look at me, look
me in the eyes, and say that you love Craig. Just say it.
It's not Craig, it's it's not even Craig. Like that's bad enough,
but it's sand of All. Right. But yeah, now we're gonna
have to we're gonna have to see Craig all the time too, Probably not
that much. I mean, they seem to cut around him quite a lot,
and he really didn't make as much of an impact as I think he
did when he was getting all dressed up in his weird like mime black unitard
or whatever the fuck he was wearing. In my mind, he's wearing like
one of those old, like thirties wrestler unitards. That's in my mind.
I know that's probably not what he has on but okay, so Jiz Fast
no, so sand just Schwartz. No, So Sandoval asks Schwartz to be
his roommate. Oh yes, oh god, yes, sorry, first,
but he'd have to kick in six thousand dollars a month. So okay,
do the math. Their mortgage is twelve thousand dollars a month. For that
hard, it's just making him pay for more of it. Who knows what
the fuck Sandival was up to there. I mean, I ALUs would have
to be worth eight million dollars or be like a horrible loan. It is
not worth eight million dollars, Well, then they have a terrible terrible loan
because why would he possibly And thank god, Schwartz is just like are you
kidding me? Like I'm not paying six thousand dollars a month and getting nothing
out of it, Like I don't know how I'm renting with a roommate.
Also, wait, he's probably including like electric, all the taxes. Maybe
there's maybe they're in aghborhood where you have to pay an hoa. Who knows.
I don't know, but that does seem that seems crazy insane. Yeah,
I don't know what that is. I would imagine. I can't imagine
their mortgage would be any more than like five thousand. Well, I don't
know, it's it's insane. Twelve thousand dollars right, that's for like all
his parties. You got to also pay for like my flutes. Bro,
Lisa, you said that they'd pay for all my weird flutes. I just
don't think that that recorders. None of it makes him come off. Well,
I don't even know why they would include that scene. He just looks
like a dumb ass that he pays that much money for a house. It's
not even a Walibu. Come on, when we have ann on, we'll
find it that. Maybe she can tell us that, oh that's a good
idea. Okay, Okay, so let's get to jiz Fest. I just
I want to keep saying jizz fest and have it mean something. You know,
we're here now, did La La at the parties see a little bit
manic to you? She seemed manic, like with all these ideas, this
board, pin the sperm on the vagina, and she's like over explaining again
the whole process, and she just felt it felt like whether maybe producers were
making her say it again. So in case we didn't understand what was happening.
It's I mean, it's obviously an ad for the crypto bank because there,
right, they must have paid so much money. I guess. Yeah,
they're getting a lot of scenes, and I don't think that's really how
they're going to decide the sperm. They only had three donors they were deciding
between, right, and then some of the things that were like, okay,
donor number one is tall and he likes lions. Yeah, all that's
why you're deciding, Yeah, I love this guy. Then the next guy
who liked dogs, They're like, no, fuck that guy. And he
has a master's in art history, which I thought was okay, yeah,
and then everybody gave that one a frownie face when it big frownie face from
like older people too. And then don't three accounting and loves cooking. But
this is seriously, are they just not? Are they not looking at anything
else like IQ or where they went to college or nothing? Just they like
lions. You know what, We're gonna go with the one that loves lions.
It didn't make any sense. None of this makes sense. I mean
I just think that the whole it's fake. It's just fake yeah, it's
just fake. This is why I was just getting mad, right, I
just wrote they all deserve each other and I in the pits of hell.
That might have been harsh, but I was feeling the same way you were
feeling. I'm just putting it on paper. But also, she makes this
big deal it's supposed to be this I felt. I felt that Laile I
was trying to do this women empowerment, like I don't need a man.
And then her mom kept bringing it back to like that guy sounds like a
great guy, and she was like, Mom, it's not for the guy.
We're just picking the baby. It's just the sperm. God. Poor
parents. The mom's probably like, can you could you just get somebody better
than Randall? Would that be possible? Like? And then it's weird that
she keeps saying, my first baby was born out of love, oh with
Randall? I mean, I guess that's fair. I get it. You're
confusing feelings because when you made that baby, you were madly in love with
them. He didn't turn out to be who you wanted him to be,
but he was who we all sort of exactly thought he was going to be.
That's not necessarily custody with him. I think she still fights for it.
She has, you know, I think he's definitely in the child's life.
Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean I could get him on if you
want. I could try. Would you get Charlie Sheen with him? I
can't get Charlie Sheen, but I might be able to get Randall. I
don't know that. I don't know that he would, you know, I
don't know. All I could do is ask. I mean, yeah,
I think I did ask at one point in Ray in the fact. Okay,
so James and Alley's house, Yeah, and Ali's mad that there was
no birth chart as though, like the most important thing is that he's a
libra, Like I just stop being crazy, everyone just stop. And then
Ali's like, yeah, like you know, that just kind of made me
think about having kids, and you know, I always maybe in the future,
but like, just to be honest, I don't really feel called to
have kids or whatever. Let's see it. Also, by the while I'm
talking about kids, I also don't really need to get married either, so
not into that. Don't really ever never thought about a ring or and James
starts crying. I know, I felt for both of them. Because I
very much felt ali on that. I mean, I had to have that
conversation a few times about not being called to have kids. Uh huh.
That's how people put it, and I think I said it that way,
and it is upsetting. I think because James, that's not what James wants.
I thought he was being really vulnerable and sweet in that moment. Nobody
it was nobody's fault. I hope they stay together. I think they'll get
married and pop out a kid eventually, but who knows. Well. I
thought it was strange that he was like okay, but I felt like maybe
she'd been misleading at the beginning, because oh, I don't want to feel
like, you know, this has all been for nothing, because it felt
to me like he'd made it clear that he did want a future with her
and he did want kids and all the things, and that she was kind
of maybe just now sort of bringing it up. But I don't know because
I'm not in their relationship. Here you are. And then she's like,
listen, Okay, I wouldn't be with you if I didn't see a future.
Okay, So, but he needs to also get his shit together before
he has kids. He's got a ways to go just because he's doing better,
and he is doing a lot better, but let's give it. Let's
give it another year exactly. Let's calm down, maybe slow the pot down
a little too, you know, like like Schwartz had to do when they
were going to freeze Katie's eggs. They were going through all that. He
didn't want his kids either, right, and they were doing all this,
and they were like, could you please not smoke weed or like get super
wasted for like a week? Right? They do this from thing? Wait
that Sandoval and Ariana was it both? I think I think it happened with
Schwartz too, But you're right it was Sandabal because Schwartz was the one handling
the jiz if you remember he had yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
But it was it was Sandal that wouldn't stop smoking pot. You're totally right,
You're one hundred percent right. And I don't think it's just pot,
but I think that's what they admit to you on the cameras, you know,
right, it's like, hey, can you not do molly for like
a couple days? Yeah? Thing, Sandoval is just a big man child.
He doesn't take responsibility for anything. It was not long before he probably
while he was cheating with Roquel, he was shopping. He was talking about
freezing eggs and sperm and stuff. Oh totally was all that was happening.
Yes, yeah, So for him to be like, well, we weren't
having sex and we we were really our relationship was over. But doesn't seem
like that. Of course not. Don't let him. Don't let that man
gaslight you. So let him. Were over at Tom Tom Okay, And
can I just say this about the stupid brunch that it's so cheesy it feels
like Disneyland and weeho West Hollywood is a fabulous place. It's a lot of
fun. There are a lot of great places to go. Yes, it
can be overpriced, but it's it's wonderful, great fun like bar hopping and
restaurants. There's no reason to make it as cheesy as vander Pump does.
She's like ruining it. And a lot of my friends who spend a lot
of time and we feel the same way. They're like, they will not
go near a vander Pump establishment. It's just like a joke. Not that
you needed me to say this, but you know I'll go. I will
still go because I like it right, But it's a lot, it's just
so so cringe. I thought I heard shots shots skies. Come on,
we all have to have to do shots. It's brunch and so much branding.
And I swear I thought I heard Ken say zoom zandivals. Yeah,
I swear maybe it was Lisa, but I thought I heard Ken go Zandvolmandvalos
shown up. Oh my god. So Katie immediately says to La La,
like, yeah, I heard you said I was miserable, and Lala's like,
oh, did I say did I say? No? She doesn't say
it like that. She says it like, did I I didn't say miserable?
Did I say miserable? Everybody? Can you all back me up?
Because Katie's just a fucking asshole and I can't stand her. Did I say
miserable? And then they replay the scene like you said and she said unhappy?
Right, But it doesn't really matter because Katie's like, well I'm not
unhappy okay, And then yeah, and then Lala tries to change the thing
because Laala wants it to be about La La and what she's not getting.
So she's like, well, whatever you've been hanging out with Arian all the
time, so I don't know where my place is anymore. Okay, Lala,
So which is it? Is it that Katie's really unhappy or is it
that she just doesn't seem to have time for you? And Katie. Poor
Katie is like, Okay, hold on, what are you talking about?
Like, I don't have kids, I don't have a husband. I've got
all the time in the world for you. She's like, I'm around you,
just like call me up whatever. Yeah, She's not not having it.
Lala's trying to change this narrative, and then Sheena pipes in like a
bitch. She's like, saw something something I don't. I can't do her
voice like you do. Well, I don't know that I can do it
either. But it's like Lala needs check hims. Lala, this is gonna
be I know from being really really super super close like type fast days with
la, La is that she needs friends who like check in on heck and
and really care about her, because if you don't really check in and care
about her, then she gets really sad. So Katie is like, na,
what the fuck? Katie goes I check in on her all the time,
and then Katie says to camera, like just just the voice of reason.
She's like, I don't know. She's like, I have all the
time in the world for her, but it goes both ways, like she
has to make an effort. God, it's like what else? And then
Lala admits it. Lala goes, well, I know I don't really make
an effort to spend time with you that much, but like, I need
you to know that I love you very much and I accept you for who
you are. What a f oh so I accept you for being very limited
and not being able to meet all my needs, but I accept that about
you anyway. I really want us to start showing up for each other.
Oh my god. I Meanwhile, Katie's like, you're kind of to Lalla.
She's like, you're kind of on the wrong side of things. She's
like, she's like soft Laala is like soft for the wrong people, Like
soft Lalla is going to the wrong people, and that's you're right. That's
when Laala flipped the strip and I was like, I feel left out.
Then meanwhile, then Sheena goes over to Tom and Tom who now I decided
Schwartz looks like Sharon Stone after like a very bleached out moment short bleached hair.
Yes, yes, So she goes over and it's so cringe because she
wants to tell She's like trying to tell Sandoval about her lyrics. She's like,
I added lyrics to the song, and that's gonna say. It's like
he went from a Mosarati to a Jetta. And then Shorts is like,
oh no, rackuells. She like literally drives a Jetta. This is the
conversation, and Sandival acts all matt He's like, oh, I don't like
whatever. Sheina, okay, like packs of this stuff, and you just
see him storm on. She's like, I didn't think he was gonna get
mad. I don't understand why he got mad. But why would Sheena even
have to read him the lyrics to the song? She was so belieful about
it. I don't mind that part. I like it when people fuck with
Sandval, but the fake outrage coming from Sandival is what upsets me the most.
Like him just moping around. Now he gets to mope off for no
reason, no reason. This was a terrible side of us. Yeah,
my god, it was terrible. What a show? What a shit show?
What a show? How many more episodes of this are there. Do
you think leventeen I looked, there's seventeen more. It's going to be for
the rest of our lives. I don't know. It can't be that manymore.
I think this was episode twelve. She would we give some shouts to
him of our steward. Let's do it as as she let's and that's gonna
be tough to do us straight up. But Brock, I just I'm okay,
you can start. I'm gonna be sound of all like don Lee,
you don't love me anymore? That's crazy. Cassy Wadsworth like, you need
to chip in like six six thousand to our podcast, to our Patreon.
Sarah Baker, can you up it to twelve thousand? Because I really like
need money. Jenny Harden like, I rewrote the song, I rewrote the
lyrics for Jane McMurray, and I rewrote some lyrics to go Good as Gold
for an Yarborough. Shelly Clavier, you need to clean up your apartment.
I'm gonna come over and help you clean up your apartment with Brock he owes
a lot of money and child support that's unrelated. Oh sure, Shannon uh
and Lauren Barnes like I'm just really hurt right now, because like, what
the hell wasn't real between us and I feel like Tamma Adams is like laughing
at me. And Sherry Singer and Randy Mames, I love you, and
Paul Sullivan, thank you for coming to my show. Okay, it's a
little off and need some work. We will continue working on that voice.
Sean Vajpay wants you to know about rotary clubs. It serves our community.
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