Welcome to you, softcore History. Welcome back to softcore History. I'm your
host for the week, damn Or Jester, and I'm joined as always buy
Rob Fox and Jacobin. What is up boys? Hey? You know,
just fucking around. I haven't blast, I don't know nothing. I went
out to dinner. I had like four drinks at dinner. My in laws
are in town, so it's like on them, so it's it's on them.
Oh I thought you having four drinks was on them. That is on
them too, because it's on them. It's it's on them because it's on
them. I get it. Yeah, if they pay an eye drinking.
Yeah, you didn't want to play credit card roulette with the in laws free,
but it's kind of want a big dick you guys. Oh god,
I wonder when that'll happen, because they're like my parents, Like my dad's
over seventy, Like he's like seventy one, right, I'm thirty seven,
Like I'm an adult. I'm an adult man. I don't feel like it
because this is my job, and I just feel like our generation is fucking
stupid as shit about growing up. Like someone's making a Barney movie and they're
like but it's four adults that was the most pathetically nerd. But like now
even now I'm like, shouldn't I be paying for them? Like I feel
like when my dad was thirty seven, he was paying for my grandfather's dinner.
Oh man, my dad and my grandfather fight at like public restaurants about
who gets the bill? Really Yeah, though, oh it's a whole thing.
See by the time my uncle actually not even my dad by the time
I like my uncle's were thirty seven, because my uncles were all like very
wealthy. My dad was an idiot and decided to work for the government.
Yeah, and not be a private lawyer and let me drive a BMW to
school and just be a piece of shit. Yeah, Like I could have
been such a prolific piece of shit, could have been, could have been,
could have been a contender. You know what's worse than a prolific piece
of shit? I could have been a ah man, Well, there are
women out there that think you should when you first meet or friends their entire
friend group, cover the bill for the whole friend or the whole group.
What where when did this start? I don't know. Yeah, Like it
wasn't when I was everyone's putting on a uterus hat when they wanted abortion.
But as soon as you meet their friend group, let's drop the credit card,
asshole man. It's it's tough out in these streets. Yeah, how
many times paying for bachelorette parties? Now I'm paying for anything? No,
no, no, I avoid these people. But I mean you asked Georgio,
you ask some of these guys out here in your thirties, mid to
early thirties. Women just expect a lot more out of you. Yeah,
and typically it's just financial attractiveness. Yeah. Yeah, they need you to
peacock. It's mostly that, I mean, they need you to financially peacock.
Yeah. When you're showing up in a truck that's been it's been abused,
I'm just tired of fixing it. Rob. It's not that I don't
want to fix it, it's every time I fix it, I get hit
again. I'm not in the vehicle. How quickly in the conversation do you
to explain to a woman that you're not poor. Your truck's just been broken
into and hit so many times that like never threw a fault of your own.
I'm beaten down that you just can't you just don't want to deal with
it anymore. You're like, it's paid off, it's getting a car is
always a diminishing investment. I just don't want to do it anymore. It's
not these days. Yeah, but how how quickly do you have to explain
to a woman that you, uh, the first five minutes I pull up
right, But then she's like, okay, well but my feet are still
only touching discarded water bottle. The floor of your car is it's covered,
it's not visible, it's covered in protein. He just opens the door and
it goes like, yeah, one of the fuckers broke in here, just
dumped up trash. I didn't do it. It's a real dick, dude.
The one side of my car got like fucked around in They left trash
everywhere. It was my trash, but like they they just put it all
on the seat, And I was like, are they told me I need
to clean my car? I try to use it as almost a deterrent for
these people that breaking them, like car seeing and they're like, oh,
look at all this trash in the front seat. I've told you time and
again, none of that matters. It's a broken window theory. The only
thing that matters is that you drive a car, a truck, a big
pickup truck that looks like there's a gun in it. Yeah, they're looking
for a gun every time. Every time, every just want the gun and
they're disappointed every time. So they smashed the window, Like fuck, even
when I leave it unlocked, they're just like, nope, get a gun,
dick hold. Yeah they did it. At the end, they open
the door and then break the window when they're leaving. Yep. So that's
my complex. It doesn't matter where I move either. I've I feel like
nine times since I've been in Austin. Every time I move, I got
my window. It's like, how like sometimes when people live in a haunted
house, like the ghost will latch onto them. There's a poultry, guys
following the it was the follow Yeah, it's following you. You know how
like uh, rooms, haunted rooms are colder. You think like you can
just haunt a room because you're ac bills so bad kind it's a fucking hot
do haunt a couple of rooms. That's the most like millennial headline I've ever
heard, Like Millennials turning to the underworld for air conditioning for more efficient energy
bills. That could be like a climate change thing too. That's absolutely like
a business insider story. Yeah no, dude, I'm gonna start that up.
I'm gonna haunt people's houses. I brought this terrified man. We're gonna
murder him here. His soul will be ripped from his body before he can
ascend. That would be like a left wing talking point one day where they're
like, all right, we're gonna try to conserve some energy, no AC
for Sunday Wednesday. Instead, here's a Wuiji board, right, some in
something make it so. But then you gotta be like, okay, but
does that mean you think that heaven and Hell exists and explicitly now kind of
believe in the Christian God like well it listen, ghosts aren't Christian like I
p No, ghosts aren't necessarily there's the underworld. This is all a Western
situation. It's not you don't think there's any Eastern ghost, there's no Chinese
ghost. The way they're going to be summoning them is very much through the
Judeo Christian lens. Board is Judeo Christian? I think it's they're not religious,
they're spiritual. Milton Bradley. It's not even a real thing, Milton
Bradley. That's how that sounds like an Anglican. He's episcopelia. Oh I'm
sure. Yeah. I mean that guy's Christian, but it's not like he's
like Scott Is in the Bible. Made it a board game. I'm just
telling you they're gonna be like, yeah, we got him from hell?
Hell? What where's hell from? So between my car constantly taking some punishment
and my wallet taking some punishment with my gambling addiction, I've a total has
this off? There started an only fans lying, He's not lying, working
out the kinks, getting the verification, go in, working out the kinks.
What kinks? Just start taking your penis out. Well that's easy.
Yes, he's gotta dress it up though, but I gotta get confirmed and
make sure you know I get paid and everything. You should sit up the
tears. But following me, we just go back to my previous damn regester
r eg es te r on only fans, we go back. We just
keep I'm not even I'm not I don't even remember the last time I've been
to church, like probably a couple of Christmases ago. I want to go
back. Me and wife. He's saying, we want to go back and
we will eventually, but like you might need to go to church. You
definitely need to just find a wife, and you might need to go to
church first to just find an even like semi normal humanity because they ain't on
the apps and you're not finding it at whatever going to Little Woodrows on Saturday
watching UFC fights. I don't know what you find there, but it's led
you to this, not women? What does that does say? That's fight
Night's dude? Fight Night is only dudes that want to fight you let me
just like literally, like all I can think of is Javier Bardam being like,
if the path you've taken this led you to this with what's the youth
of the path? Yeah, I'm aware, Yeah, yeah, Um I
want to read circle back to the Only Dance. Um, what you got
any you're coming out strong from the gate here. What are you gonna do?
I don't know. I gotta I gotta talk to uh the woman that's
currently living with me. There's a woman living with you. She's paying rent,
she's not so my friend is living with me for the month until because
there's a gap between her last leave. She's she's technically homeless by all all
metrics, Like she's literally homeless. Is that that's how you would define So
it's not a lie, Like it's technically correct to say you are sheltering a
home homeless woman. Correct? And now where does your only fans come in
on this? You've taken in a homeless woman, You've started. Yeah,
you you brought the homelessness part plus A plus B. Where's what's what's the
C? I mean we've discussed, well, potential content collaboration. So you're
a homeless person on camera. If you fuck her before she finds a new
apartment, you're fucking a homeless person on camera for money. I want you
to know that you were technically sucking a homeless I want you to know this.
It also ties into today's episode because she's actually related to the person I
want to talk to you today. It's like bum fights. It's bum fux.
That's not new. That's the thing. Actually we looked that up on
a show a while back. No, what Yeah, there's like there's there's
like if I know where it's just like hey, I'll pay you to suck
my dick or like take your dick out. I'll pay twenty dollars to take
your dick out. Like some persons like that's exploitive, that's exploitation. Well
you never fucked on camera before? Um I have, but not I didn't
publish it. Yeah too ashamed. Uh no, it was exactly what you'd
expect. Yeah, I don't have to see it. Just Rob's butt.
It was just a hank killer, but moving up and down, it's not.
Yeah, it's pretty hand kill both of my kids, my wife,
because my wife has like a pretty good butt, but my my kids.
I'm not even a bud guy. But but like you wouldn't be. I'm
not. I'm an ask man thrown, I'm not an ask man. I'm
kids and and stomach. Those are the two things out like, uh but
anyway, what like a flat timmy, I get it. It's just like
no one ever like calls that one out. Yeah, like a good core
maybe abs a little bit thin, I like thin girls oops like thin like
yeah, thin girls will poops. I'm I'm gonna I've just never heard anyone
stomach. I'm gonna. I'm gonna fucking explode at Barbie. All right,
I am gone, Barbee. It's all in one. Now it's a margo
or to Ryan Goslin, yes whatever both does the hatter who cares yes answers
yes, what is? There's nothing gay about coming to Ryan Gosling at some
points about like the ultimate example of Brad Pitt and meet Joe Black, where
it's just like, oh, you're not a person, Like you're not a
human being. You are some sort of angel and there's no like you're a
different species. Also, if you cut off half my face, I'm Ryan
Goslin, just nose up. You can check us out on YouTube if you're
listening at home, you know, I'd love a listener to just do that.
Take that screenshot and then find Ryan Gosling. Let's compare. Yeah,
do it? Do it? Fans love to see it. Scrub out the
back could be like which is which? Can't tell? Can't tell? Same
picture. Back to my original point though, today we're actually going to talk
about a man who was related to the woman that is currently in my house.
Okay, cool, So whatever historical significance he had, he certainly didn't
translate financially. Well, you can be related to someone that's way more affluent
than you. We'll check it out. He was a outlaw in the wild
West. Okay, okay, well that makes sense m specifically Texas. Sweet
I love that. Yeah, So today we're gonna talk about John Wesley Harden
Hm, notorious outlaw gunfighter. I never heard of. This guy was a
lawyer at one point. All right, what what's his years of operation?
So he was born in fifty three, nineteen eighteen, eighteen fifteen, he's
fucking around seventies eighties, and uh yeah, he's around till eighteen ninety five.
What wasn't a Confederate? Was too young to be a Confederate? You?
Oh, yeah, well, there's no such thing. It's too young
to be on a battlefield before nineteen hundred. No, check it out.
Actually, we'll just get to that point. In eighteen sixty two, at
age nine, he tried to run away from home to join the Confederate Army.
At nine, a boy really didn't like black people. Yeah, I
just really wanted to shoot. Yeah yeah, Like all right, hold on,
sound. We can't give you a musket, but if you'd like to
play a drum while the cannons shoot at you, more than welcome such a
bad gig. It's the worst possible gig. Yeah, I play my drum
four drummer flute. Like imagine, imagine, Remember how much you hated learning
recorder in like sixth grade. We didn't have the budget for that. What
we didn't have the budget for that? Okay, Oh, I went to
a nice private school. I also went to private school. Yeah, we
went to one with like a normal, like smart education, though not that
Bible dribble you've had. Our teachers had to pay out a pocket for supplies.
Yikes, not ideal. Yeah, I never had a play recorder.
That's a lot of teachers though, including the woman that's living in my house
right now. I figured it was her. I figured it was a public
school teacher. I also went to this you'll recall a couple episodes back,
a couple of months back, the sex club. Yeah, sex club.
Oh, it all makes sense, all coming together. Look, there's no
one who deserves to be homeless more than a gainfully employed public school teacher.
Yeah, it's well, it's not because she's like poor. It's at least
gap, dude, it's at least cap But it is also you know that
we don't pay teachers, No, we don't near enough, right, And
then people like Also, every parent just wants to murder every fucking public school
teacher too, because it's like, it's never my kid's fault and you're teaching
him. Satan, dude, a hike. As The funniest thing about anything
with bitching about kids is where I'm like, what, oh, someone's trying
to turn them gay or someone's gonna murder them with an a R fifteen.
I don't think you of those things gonna happen. But what is happening is
that I pay seventeen grand a year for daycare. So because someone fix that.
I don't care about some fucking guy in a dress or some fucking psycho
with a fucking rifle because that's probably not gonna happen. What's gonna happen is
I'm gonna cut another fat check every fucking month you had kids, Dude,
get over it. That's the best argument. Always like you didn't have to,
didn't have to have kids, didn't have to that's your own tax.
Yeah, which is the meanest. It's the meanest argument to parents, But
it suck it, bitch. You chose that. Yeah, maybe trying to
continue the species. You think you're better than that. I technically didn't you
think you have the genetics that are worthy to pass on. I mean,
maybe only one of my kids didn't didn't take but that was that was Courtney's
fault. That was an ex right. My com was too strong. I
fired poison. I almost murder every woman I impregnant. That's not good,
not intentionally. I'm sure it's not insane if you had to kill switch in
your ass, though, you're like, oh, okay, or the dirty
load today it's all dirty loads. God gros Yeah. So. Harden born
in eighteen fifty three near Bonham, Texas, to James Gibson Gip Harden,
a Methodist preacher, and Mary Elizabeth Dixon. He was named after John Wesley,
the founder of the Methodist Christian Church, with the founder of Methodism the
most boring religion on earth. So this person that's in your house is related
to this the founder law. No, no, the al all is named
after I was gonna say, imagine you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
my grandpa is the pope. I'm poor. I mean there's some poor
Vanderbilts out there, are there? Yeah? Yea. Not everyone's Anderson Cooper.
Not everyone. I mean there is a lot of like it's that is
a normal thing in like a history, where noble families will essentially just like
you know, their portfolio takes a shit and they ain't got no more money.
I think that's the whole plot of sent What what Pride Prechice. It's
like a noble family but their dogshit. Now. Yeah, but they still
get the house right property, but they're not liquid at all. Yeah,
they're pouring a mansion. It's crazy. Yeah. Harden's dad was a preacher,
also a teacher, and established a school that Harden would go to.
While attending his father's school, Harden was taunted by another student. He responded
by stabbing his fellow classmate in the abdomen. Yeah, I assumed he killed
him, almost killing him. And uh, Harden, this was a funny
point that they had him the the tack nearly expelled over the incident. Nearly
he knew a guy. Well, he nearly killed him. I'm sure your
current um squatter knows quite a bit about kids almost getting expelled for stabbing someone.
But again, this is a school his father started. Yeah, it
helps when daddy runs the school. Yeah, I mean, do you remember
very early on he had a bloodthirst? Ever, tell you about our our
friend. This is something that would have probably gotten an expelled from private school.
But our friend, I won't mention the name this time. Play.
His wife's a teacher and worked at a public school, and when she was
pregnant, it was like during COVID she had to like enforce mask rules or
whatever, like it was just the school policy. She fucking had to do
it. And some kids running around out a mask on or whatever, and
she was like, hey, put your mask back on, please. Not
even like a bitch about it, right, it was just like, hey,
you know on, please, And he could just turn her and goes,
bitch, don't tell me what to do. I'll murder you and your
baby. She's yeah, you ever see the video? Anyway, the kid
didn't get in trouble. She took the kid to the principal and she was
like, oh, he was just expressing himself. And she asked our friend.
She was like, what should I do? And he was like,
leave there and never come back. I make enough money, We'll just find
a news right. Do you remember a couple of months back the video of
that like giant kid who beat the funk out of a female teacher for taking
his phone. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't see either his phone or like
a like a a game Boy or the current version of the game Boy.
It certainly wasn't a game Boy. Yeah, like that's worth three thousand dollars.
Yeah, I mean maybe at that point you do it. Um.
Yeah, I saw some one where a kid tased his teacher for taking his
phone too. You just had a taste he had a taser. Yeah.
See, this is why we need metal detectors in school. It's a great
Colin Quinn joke. I said, my kids Collig school because the public school
the kids hit the teachers, but at Callig School, the teachers at the
kids. Yeah, so I don't. I think I'm okay with that.
That's the right dichotomy. It's the right relationship. If there's gonna be hitting
involved, you're not gonna be able to teach anything if the people you're trying
to teach are the ones hitting you. There's an old expression of inmates running
an asylum, right yeah, right, it's like, yeah, you have
to be here, that's all a photo of inmates eating pizza, And I
think the caption was just like jail tries to ease over tension the same way
work does. Yeah, it's a nice morale booster, all right, Bloods,
crips, Muslim Brotherhood, white nationalists, dominoes. Yeah, here's some
I mean pizza to them would probably be like I don't even know what to
mean, like Wagou and caviar. Oh, committed to prison food. Yeah.
Yeah, more of a morale booster than just like a Friday like,
oh, instead of bonuses, we're having a pizza party. We don't have
to eat the maggot mash. Yeah, they did the mash a good boss.
In November eighteen sixty eight, when he was fifteen, Harden challenged his
uncle's former slave to a wrestling match, which hard him one Cordon Harden.
The following day, Maggie ambushed him as he rode past, shouting at him
and waving a stick. Harden drew a revolver and shot Maigi five times,
so he might have been onto something about him. Hayden black guys. Well,
yeah, he's a white guy in Texas in eighteen fifty in the eighteen
fifties, eighteen sixties. I wanted to join the Confederacy when he was nine,
So this was his first recorded kill at age fifteen. Now the only
person to tell that story was the living one who killed him. Yeah.
So ay, I have so many questions with that situation. Loan, Ay,
what does the former slave still doing hanging around there. It's not like
you can just pack up and go get the fuck out of day. You
could, it doesn't matter at that point, just pouling around. Refugees can't
pack up and go. But they do. They pack up and they go,
you get the fuck out of Dodge. B Oh. Well, actually
I understand why he had. I don't know if the black you'd wanted to
wrestle the out law, but I assume he didn't have much a choice to
challenge, and he was fifteen at this point. Yeah. Yeah, And
anyway, this guy wasn't attacked he killed that guy. Yeah, maybe they
argued and like and they got really mad at each other. Maybe maybe he
didn't know, maybe no one started it, but like he it definitely wasn't
attacked. Yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he was
just like digging a hole or something. He's like, oh my god,
he has a stick. He killed him. I mean, it could have
been. It could have been they were like, hey, I beat you
yesterday haha, and the guy was like, you know what, fucked you?
Yeah? Like it like I understandably like fuck you. And he's like,
hey, you know what, fuck you? I beat you like no,
you even beat me every new this fucking black and I can't fucking pin
your ass. Yeah I could beat your ass like no, you can't already
beat you and then just get heated and that, you know what I mean.
Like maybe it was like that, yeah, but I don't think the
guy just jumped out and was like a gotcha, yeah, shoots him,
rides off, made you dies. Three days later, Harden goes into Hayden
because he believes he would not get a fair hearing as he's in the Union
occupied side of the state. Oh Harden claimed that authorities eventually discovered his location
and three Union soldiers were sent to arrest him, at which time he chose
to confront his pursuers, despite having been warned of their approach by an older
brother, Joseph. And yeah, he uh just fucking starts firing on him,
kills all three. So he starts blasting. He just starts blast.
He goes three fucking soldiers. Jesus Christ, what are these guys doing?
Probably not anticipating a gun crazy fifteen year old. Although I will say this
if they're only armed with muskets. Basically, he has a revolver. He
had a double barrel shotgun and a knife and he's six shooters. So oh
he was so he was literally he had quite a bit more fire power than
them. Yeah, oh so he killed. He ends up killing four men?
What three? And then I guess someone else standard and then killed three
soldiers. He's wounded in the arm in the exchange, though he takes one,
he takes the lord. But this is him at fifteen. These are
the worst. These are the origin stories of an outlaw, all right.
Harden knew that he would be arrested if he returned home as a fugitive.
He initially traveled with outlaw Frank Polk. Polk had killed a man named Tom
Brady, Oh no, love that yeah, and a detachment soldier sent from
Corsakana, Texas. We're pursuing the duo. Harden escaped, but the soldiers
apprehended Polk and jailed him temporarily. Harden also claimed that he and his cousin
Simp Dixon encountered a group of soldiers and each killed a man. On January
fifth, eighteen seventy, Harden was playing car with Benjamin Bradley in towash Hill
County, Texas. Harden was winning almost every hand, which angered Bradley,
who threatened to cut out Harden's liver. If you want again, do you
know where it was? Bradley Drew was gonna chop in there and figure all
around until he was like, well that's the heart. Of course you ask
questions. Uh yeah, yeah, it looks like this is the liver.
Oh wait, there's nothing. Looks just like there's one liver, right,
there's a kidney. I don't know a lung. I would just pall it
anything. You don't even think a liver is the coolest single pole. I
think lungs. Lungs would be. That's metal. The lungs out the back
and you do the uh the Viking dragon, the blood. No, it's
the blood eagle, blood eagle. Yeah, that's absolutely the way to go.
Well, not if it's happened to you. Livers. I don't know
why people are subsessed with the liver. It goes, that goes all the
way back to your history. You can take a Greek story where like every
night a crow eats some guys liver out like the gods punished him that way.
Oh yeah, like the liver what I just they just loved booze.
I wonder if liver is like they probably didn't even know what it did.
Of course I didn't know what it did. It's probably just like they assumed
that was important, like really important. Maybe liver is just like a term
for organ, how it could be. Yeah, like it's just like liver.
It's a liver, you know, like like viscera is just things inside
you never could be organ. So I don't know that's a gas. I
have no idea. I'm taking it. Yeah, face value. So Harden
wins another hand, Bradley draws his knife and six shooter. Harden said he
was unarmed and excused himself, but claimed later that night Bradley came looking for
him. So the guy pulls a knife and a gun. He's like whoa,
Like you're fucking time to die, And he's just like, well hold
on, I'm no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm gonna go to
the restaurant. Fair God giving you time for you to piss, but fine,
take your pee, sir. Yeah, So he bails. And eventually
finds Bradley out again, allegedly looking for him, so Harden drew his pistol
returned a shot right at him, striking him in the head and another in
the chest. So it kills Bradley. That'll do it. That guy deserved
it. Ie to be honest. Yeah, stop going and look mad at
kill the dealer if you're gonna kill anyone. Yeah, he's not doing it.
Or is this like a type of game where everybody takes turns dealing.
He's probably that, in which case probably a game of poker, especially suck
my dick on that one. Yeah, like what you tell me that hand
pitch? What are you talking about? I mean, I'm guessing there's accusations
of cheating. I would be like, where where are they? Yeah,
sir, if you're not cheating. If you are cheating, of course you
just be like, oh, Dariel, no, I will not let you
accost me. Dozens of people saw him shoot Bradley down in cold blood,
and from then on a good record of how Harden used his guns was kind
of documented. His holsters were sewn into his vest so that the butt of
the pistols pointed in where to cross his chest, he crossed his arms to
draw. Harden claimed this was the fastest way to draw, and he practiced
every day. Man called Judge Moore, who held hardened stakes of money and
a pistol, refused to give them up without Bradley's consent and later vanished.
So anybody that would have like corroborated that what happened with Bradley earlier, he
just kind of went missing. No, huh huh. You know what the
fastest way to draw is? You wait, right, You wait for the
other person to draw if you want to be the fastest. Why because the
reflex to draw is faster than the instinct to draw, like the decision.
So like you make moves, kinetic movement, faster in reaction than ins.
I'm a much better in softball and baseball, much better infielder than an outfielder
because as you as I sit there under the ball, or I see even
the ball like a base hit coming at me, Like, but I'm in
the outfield and I got to pick it up and play it. Much worser
doing that than just like the reaction. Yeah, yea, yeah yeah.
After killing Bradley, Harden claimed that when a posse of fifteen men came after
him. He captured two of them and took a shotgun. Two six shooters
a rightful and uh then ordered two men to join the members of the posse
at Jim Pages and wait for them to come along. What happened to the
other team? What he captured two? Yeah, he just himself pulled them
off while they were whatever. I don't know. A lot of this is
documented in his autobiography, Oh yeah, all right, Well that so they
could potentially be straight up liies. It could be like a Jack Reacher situation
where he's like where they're let one fight, where they're like, what do
you do? You be able? Six odd one? And he's like,
now on one, because I'm gonna fuck him up. I'm gonna fuck him
up. And then this guy is gonna be like, I guess I'll come
and then I'll fuck him up, and then you two are just gonna run
away cool, And then Tom Cruise does exactly that. Yeah, and I
was like, I related to that. January twentieth, same year, he
claimed to kill a man in a gunfight after an argument at the circus.
How many murders is this guy admitting? Too? In his autobiography somewhere between
forty two and fifty. But like, geez, it's so many killed.
It's like mine conference, like and then I was in Vienna and I strangled
five jew children safe have mean to me and I did it. Yeah.
A lot of these are just kind of footnotes. It's like, oh,
I would love to hear the argument at the circus. Yeah, what you're
just it's like one you're like, yeah, I was at the circus and
this guy's a dick. I killed him. It sounds like a Phillies fan.
It's like, yeah, then a Phillies. But that's fucking so.
A little bitch was yelling at me in the bathroom. I smashed his face
in the urinal. He's said, uh, I cut his tires and brake
line in the parking lot. Less than a week after this incident with the
circus, Harden was with a prostitute when he was confronted by her pimp,
who demanded money. Oh so the business wanted to be paid for the services
that they rendered. Big mistake. Imaginely just being like it. Then check
this shit out. So that this McDonald's right. I order a hamburger and
I'm fucking eating this hamburger that I fucking ordered, and the motherfucker comes up
to me and he's like, that's five dollars that hamburg got five dollars too
much, slass, I fucking killed him. Yeah. See well no,
no, here's what he does. First. He does give him the money.
Okay, he throws it at his feet, So as the pimp goes
to pick up the money, he executes him. That's worse, so much
worse than just murdering him for asking. Yeah, so disrespectful. It's like
the most disrespectful way to kill someone. This is just a serial killer.
Yeah, paying who that who history is about labeled an outlaw, this is
like a literal I mean outlaw outlaw. Ted Bundy's in theory. He's outside
the law, so egregiously outside law. I don't even think he's not even
he's not even robbing anything, Like you're not even chasing any wealth. Wouldn't
call him a robber. If the inconvenience him, he almost kills you,
or does It sounds like he doesn't almost kill anyone except for that nine year
old kid. The pimp, Yeah, wasn't inconveniencing him at all. The
pimp was sympically collecting agreed upon debts not even the right word, because debt
sounds burdensome an agreed upon payment. He doesn't pay for it, man,
he doesn't pay for pussy. That's that's robbery. Actually he focks, like
like he focks someone who thinks they're gonna pay. Like, that's theft.
Yeah, that's theft. What's that wasn't an eighteen seventies pimp? Like it's
the same actually exact same, like you know, purple satin robe, leather
or leopard printing cuffs, big hat. Yeah yeah, pimpa tire has not
changed at all. It's actually been the same since the beginning of time.
Yeah yeah. In January eighteen seventy one, Hardham was arrested for the murder
of the Waco, Texas City Marshal. He of course denied committing this crime.
Following his arrest, he was held temporarily in a log jail in the
town of Marshall when in transferred to Waco for trial. While I have to
assume this was at a Twin Peaks, yes, while locked up, he
bought a revolver from another prisoners prison. There was a cell with a gun
store in it like how do you get a gun? It's just like that's
what was it. We were talking about men's moment off air, or we
were talking about on the on the watchlo the other day about the people who
are like, what do you mean we can't drink and drive anymore? What
are they gonna do next? Seatbelts? Yeah, it's just like the Second
Amendment used to be so wide open that it's like like judges were like,
like, you can't legally take his gun. Allow prisoners to have gone well,
I mean it wouldn't shock me because like for the longest time, like
if you escaped prison, it wasn't like additional sentencing. It was just like
you have an intrinsic right to want to be free. That's everything. That's
how it still isn't like Sweden or something. It's like it's not illegal to
try to escape prison because any human being with want to escape being in prison.
Yeah, so that's like, all right, we just bring you back,
which, by the way, um, you should definitely make trying to
escape like that a crime. You have been handed out a punishment by the
society you agreed to live in. It's a challenge though, if you get
out you should at least have a certain amount of years eliminated from your sentence.
If I get past a certain barrier that's on the prison. Yeah,
I knock off a year. If I'll say this, You shouldn't have to
reserve any time you weren't in for if you escaped. Yeah, your time
is your time, and that's on the state to keep you there. That's
right, That's what I'm saying. Like, however, it shouldn't. Yeah,
you should. You should make it punishable to It's gay. It makes
them, It makes the escape. He's better. There's more stakes, higher
stakes if you get caught. Yeah, yeah, you better never get caught.
It makes them better on the outside. So as they go to transfer
him to Waco, they make camp along the way and Hardness escapes his ropes,
gets a gun and beats one of the police, but the butt of
the pistol. Do you think this guy's just Hannibal Holder? I was about
to say, do you think he realized like he was about to shoot him?
He's like, wait a minute, there's all sorts of things I can
do. Oh my god, I can make this so much worse for this
guy. Yeah, I've never even thought about using it like a hammer before.
This is incredible, what a great tool. So beat the shit out
of one of the police. Uh then the other law officer, she shoots
it, takes his horse and escapes. This is literally a serial killer.
This is Hannibal lector cutting the face like luring the guards and cutting the face
off one or whatever. Like I mean, this is he has done nothing
Jesse James esque, nothing even remotely like Jesse James. I mean he's good
with a gun. Yeah, I guess that's it. Yeah yeah. Harden
then claimed he was arrested on his way back by three men named Smith,
Jones, and Davis but Dell County, Texas. He killed all three with
their guns, with their guns all right after they after they came drunk and
careless, and he escaped again. Okay, so they were hammered. They're
like, we got him. I want to call this guy a liar.
But I feel like this all tracks. Yeah. No, if they were
already drunk, like I could see how you get there. But I also
feel like they would get drunk, you know what I mean, Like he'd
be like, oh, we got the boy tied up and to drink four
handles of whiskey. It's about to say what is drunk, because, like
we've talked, normal is very drunk. Yeah, there's actually a Texas historical
marker that notes in the eighteen seventies, Hardened hit out in the vicinity of
Pilgrim, Texas. So they document in this little plaque in Pilgrim, Texas
that oh he passed through town. Yep, you gotta have something. Every
town's gotta have something. Where did Bundy kill a Strohrdy girl Flora stay?
It's just like it's like a plaque outside of the house here wants traversed the
famous Ted Bundy really cruel, right, rush would suck for them. It's
like, don't don't worry about it. He's that guy. That's The rumor
was that he was staying in the Sigma Kai House what is now the Sigma
Kai House. What was it that it was like an old hotel kind of
thing. Yeah, it wasn't. He didn't like a boarding house. Like
learn the handshake and it's like, what, alum, can I hang out
in hook? Yes, we did once let a drifter stay with us who
knew the handshake. That's the rules, dude, it is rules. He
was like, hey, I count on money hotel. It was adults Nebraska
in the seventies did the handshake. We're like, well that's what they tell
us we're supposed to do, so sleep on the couch. Yeah, you're
lucky he didn't get ted Bundy. Well, they got robbed. I know.
Our cook robbed us, who we also let sleep in our house for
a while when he was on less. Well that was dope because he slept
in the basement and we would wake him up in the middle of the night
and he'd make us case of das and ship when we were drunks. Yeah,
where he rightfully robbed together. Yeah, he's like, fuck that you
still sleep over Christmas break? He stole our ps twos and shit, that's
awesome. Good for him. Yeah, it's fine. I will say the
most unhinged people on earth are the ones cooking and cleaning out a frattorney house
that are like contracted out. We had a guy who was severely recovering alcoholic
and a non vet that was our dishwasher, and he let us know how
insensitive it was that we had parties there. Like it's just screamed at us
while we were eating dinner constantly. Sweet, It's like, dude, but
like, so there's just handles of vodka everywhere. I'm like, yeah,
where do you think you are? Like, dude, it's like you go
down to the sewage plant and say, man, it sticks in here.
It's like you know where you're fucking going. Dude. After the Bell County
shootings, hard and found refuge with his cousins, the Clements. We're then
living in Gonzales in South Texas. They suggested he could make money by driving
cattle to Kansas as a cowboy. It sounds too labor intensive for this guy.
He's like, I don't know what if I just murder people and take
their money. You only cattle drivers already have money, like a murder Yeah,
well he does us thinking he could get out Texas long enough for his
pursuers to lose interest, because back then you could just wait it out.
Yeah, totally. We've we've talked about this before. Just move across town,
one town over way low. I mean, if you've done the bull
forget, if you've done like forty hits, yeah, maybe you'd leave a
state, right, Yeah, but go up to Kansas. Nobody knows you.
Kansas might as well be Mars. It's so far crazy. Yeah.
So Harden worked with his cousins rustling cattle for Jake Johnson and the Columbus.
Carrol. Harden writes that he made trail boss for the herd, so he's
good at his job. Allegedly. Yeah. In February eighteen seventy one,
while the herd was being collected or the drive to Kansas, a freedman,
Bob King, attempted to cut a beef cow out of the herd. When
he refused to obey Harden's demand to stop. What. I don't know what
that means. He's trying to steal the cow. Okay, there was a
there was cow. Thief hardened then the black I was trying to steal it.
Yeah. Harman hit him over the head with pistol. He loves his
new hammer. He's like man shooting him. They just die so quick.
I love to watch him get sad. Yeah, about how they're dying,
About how I'm going to kill it. Yeah. Again, they're just too
unconscious to do anything about it. This is the old classic Harden. He
said he dead. Yeah. Harden also wounded three Mexicans in an argument over
a three card Monty card game record. Monty nice, he pissed, the
whipped one man over the head, shoot shot another man in the arm,
and shot the other end of the long Oh is he so fast? I
don't know. My guess is they're just all sleeping and he's a liar or
he's a liar. Yeah, either he's totally lying or he's killing people when
they're like this is like, who what was a chick? I did Hannah
Dustin? Right? Imagine like chick? She killed all those Indians in their
sleep? Right with the hatchet? Like imagine she was she just told him
John Wick story. Instead, She's like, I grabbed the hatchet and then
just like did karate on all of them with a fucking hat Yeah. I
backflipped off of the first one's face and speared the other one. Yeah,
just the real matrix shit. It's like no, then either you either murdered
them in their sleep or this never happened. Then we went into musketball time,
just like bad bullet time. It's a great joke. In the summer
of eighteen seventy one, while driving cattle on the Chisholm Trail to Abilene,
Kansas, Arden fault a bunch of Mexican the caros and cattle rustlers. Have
he killed them all, I'm guessing. Towards the end of the drive,
and Mexican herd crowded in behind Hardens, and there were some trouble bruin between
the two herds. Like you don't get herds mixed up. That'd piss me
off, to be quite honest, that would probably legitimately just give us some
space. What the fuck? Man? Yeah, they're like, I don't
like fucking coles man. Harden exchanged words with the man in charge of the
other herd. Both men were on horseback. The Mexican fired his gun at
Hardened, putting a hole through Harden's hat. Harden found that his own weapon,
a worn out cap and ball pistol with the loose cylinder, would not
fire. Yeah, because he kept using it as a hammer on people's skulls.
Yeah, it's kind of dented. It's weird. Yeah. He dismounted
and managed to discharge the gun by steadying the cylinder with one hand and pulling
the trigger with the other. He hit the Mexican in thigh. A truce
was declared and both parties went their separate ways. So he didn't kill this
guy? Sure? Well he learned mercy, although the guy tried to kill
him do so, yeah, maybe he respected that. He almost got clearly.
Yeah, he was like, man, he just real fights to you
when they're awake. This yeah, I get yeah kidding, because he bars
a pistol from his friend and tracks down this Mexican and kills him. Oh
so they had a truce and they really all right, let's go our separate
ways. He's like, hey, Jim, let me get that gun real
quick. Yeah. No, he fatally shoots this dude and execuse him in
his sleep. He kills people in their sleep. I'm pretty sure that's the
morning. I think most of the people he's killed her in their sleep,
yeah, where they're like bent over not looking now for some of them.
But then while he does it in their camp, the Poco's camp, a
firefight between the rival campson sues, so like, just blast and left and
right. I'm sure you should be able to kill, by the way,
if you walk up on a camp and everybody's sleeping, you should be able
to kill with a revolver, like six of them before anyone can do anything.
Well, he kills exactly six in the exchange. I knew it that
that tracks to me, Well, there are six bullets in the thing.
He's like, literally the one you get a literal free shot, bang,
and basically another literal free shot of the guy next to him, because they're
just like what bang. The third guy's barely getting up bang dad. Yeah,
fourth guy, it's probably the only one that started to react, but
you can still get him pretty easy. Five and six are the only ones
that you really really really have to worry about. And that's, by the
way, assuming they're all like none of them are are drunk like the other
guys he killed, or or light sleepers or you know what I mean,
Like, fuck dude. And by the way, they're drunk. They're drunk.
They're all drunk. Everyone is drunk. The soberest person you know in
that time is fucking drunk. Yeah. When they get to Abilene, Kansas,
Harden claims at him and his companion Paine got into an argument in a
restaurant with someone that was anti Texas. Hm. That happens to this day.
Tough, Yeah, yeah, got a fuck around. I remember every
time someone is like, hey, Derry Queen is Texas and I'm like no,
it's like from Illinois or some shit, try to murder me. That's
true. Pen gets shot in the arm and our guy puts one in the
back of the strangers d Yeah, I'm sure. So he's not really keeping
a little profile here, not remotely. This guy is just constantly trying to
get because he loves killing. Yeah, he's done almost nothing illegal. That's
cool. He is only murdered and I guess basically raped a prostitute. Yeah,
he's a bad person. He's not a good dude. No, No,
he is an outlaw. And I know she's listening to this right now.
I'm sorry, your relative, it's not that's what you're apologizing before,
not me calling her homeless for fucking twenty minutes. Well, she technically is
homeless. Didn't call her poor, I didn't call her part She is albless
and you should pay teachers more. Yes, we agree with that. Yeah,
I told her. Yeah, my sister's a teacher or was. She
went to like grad school and now she's the principal. But teachers don't make
no money. On the fourth of July in eighteen seventy one, a Texas
trail boss named William Coron was killed on the Cottonwood Trail by an unnamed Mexican
fled south. He was subsequently killed by two cowboys in the Sumner County,
Kansas restaurant. On July twentieth, hard And admitted to being involved in the
shooting of the Mexican. Admitted to or was just like, hell, yeah,
give me another body. I'll take it. He'll take credit for anything,
probably the latter. Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, I did
it. I'm fucking I'm so dope, dude. I've killed like fucking three
hundred people. Every murder that happened last year, that was me. This
guy sounds like someone who lies about fucking chicks but killing people. Back then,
was was stacking your body count? Yeah, you know what I mean,
Like body count. Now it's fucking body count. Man was killing kill
killing. When they get to Abilene, Kansas, the bulls Head Tavern had
been established as partnership between x Laman Ben Thompson and gambler Phil Coe. The
two entrepreneurs had painted the picture of a giant bull with a large erect penis
on the side of their establishment as an advertisement. That's cool, I love
that. I want to go there. Well, we didn't. You want
to ask us on a go to Patreon, hot com, slash software History
on our voicemail episode, like I don't know, like just where would you
want to go hang out in history because we said, like Pompey, where'd
you want to visit? Oh yeah, hard bull In. That's the hard
bull dick In is. I'm partying there not when this asshole shows up,
but citizens complained to the town Marshall wild Bill Hycock. Oh Wild Bills is
pre Deadwood. Of course, when Thompson and refused his request to remove the
bowl and the penis, Hiccock altered it himself, which infuriated Thompson, who
tried to incite his new acquaintance Harden, telling him he's a damn Yankee picks
on rebels, especially Texans. We gotta kill this motherfucker. So yeah,
so Bill Hitcock was like you needed to take this dick pick down, right,
and they were like, hey, Harden, he hates Texas. He's
been there for like two days. And by the way, I love that.
That's a post so during during of course, but post Civil War thing
where it's like that's essentially libs and cons right, It's like, oh,
he's like a Republican or like, oh he's fucking live, you know what
I mean? Like, that's how people talked about each other. Some people
talked about each other. Um that cracks me up. Shit don't change.
And by the way, the worst possible person you could try to start shoot
is this how this guy dies? I hope? Fuck Well, here's the
thing, right, he actually respects Hiccock. Good call, he says,
if Bill needs kill him, do it yourself. Smart. He doesn't respect
Hiccock. He's afraid of Hiccock. Yes, he knows that he can't kill
Hiccock. Yeah, because no one can. The only person who killed a
Hiccock shot him in the back, hardened style, shot him in the back
of the fucking head in a saloon. He's not gonna straight up kill Hiccock.
No one's gonna grab kill Hickock. Yeah. Well, Later that night,
Harden was confronted by Hiccock. He told him that he was wearing guns
and is a violation of town ordinance and ordered him to hand over his guns,
which he did in a quite surprising way. Did not expect Hiccock to
be a Hey, this is a gun for his zone. Man, Hiccock
on you. Fuck yeah, Hiccock will do Hiccock can kill anyone. Yeah,
he does not care. So Harden reached down, picked up his revolvers
from the holsters, handed them to wild Bill's butts forward, and swiftly rolled
them over in his hands and only while Bill was standing right into the muzzles.
However, both men didn't back down. Hycock had a knowledge that Harden
was a wanted man, and he advised Harden to avoid problems while he was
in Abilene with Hiccock. Or Harden did agree to He's just like, well,
just let me keep my guns, man, Yeah, and Hiccock was
like, quit fucking around. I still think Hiccock had the drop on him.
Hiccock wouldn't murder the motherfucker. Maybe just respecting him, just like respect.
I think Hycock was just like, this guy's a fucking psycho. If
I don't let him be a little bit of a psycho, he's going to
be a massive psycho. Harden met up with Hiccock again while on a cattle
drive in August eighteen seventy one. This time, Hiccock allowed Harden to carry
his pistols into town, something he had never allowed others to do, so
he kind of got the the Burn from the Hot Star like, Wow,
Bill, I think he was a star fucker. Yeah, he's star struck.
Yeah, because he this man clearly didn't be himself as a serial killer,
which he was. He viewed himself as a tough guy, and he
also viewed wild Bill is a tough guy, and wild Bill is a very
famous tough guy. So this guy's like, oh man, cool, he
likes me. Yeah, So they kind of brew up a little bit of
a friendship. At one point, Harden's cousin is in prison, and Harden
kind of ranges for Hiccock to let him go. Sure, I mean,
Hiccock's not a good dude. No, Like, he's a piece of shit.
What is good? What is good? Here? Right? What is
good? But he's a drunk and a gambling attic? Well what is lawman?
Like? It's it's all very relative. He keeps the piece a little
bit, yeah, by blasting people that shoot first. Questions later, Yeah,
questions never, I guess because you're shooting. Yeah. Uh. August
six, eighteen seventy one, Hardened, Harden's cousin, Gip Clements, and
a rancher friend named Charles Cougar put up for the night at the American House
Hotel. After an evening of gambling, Clements and Harden shared one room with
Cougar in the adjacent room. All three had been drinking heavily. Sometime during
the evening, Harden had awakened by loud snoring coming from Cougar's room. Great
name. He first shouted several times for the man to roll over, and
then, irritated by the lack of response, drunkenly fired several bullets through the
wall and killed Cougar. Yeah, it's a dick. Move asleep. Let
me um channel my nineties. Sit come here. I'm a bad snorer and
my wife would probably do that if if she could, I like wear a
retainer to stop my snoring. Well, this once again just proves the concept
of he kills everyone in their sleep. Yeah. Yeah, even people that
he's trying to wake up to stop snoring through a wall. He just knows
they're asleep. Thus the story an A simple wall at this point is just
like this little thin piece of wood right here. It's not it's not a
good lumber man. There's no but I mean, like there's nothing in between
him. Yeah, you know what I mean. The wall is literally just
that little and killing cougar was not actually the big offense here, but he
had violated the ordinance prohibiting firing a gun in city limits. Well, it's
a gun for his zone. Yeah, can't just be shooting a gun.
I like, how there's like, like, obviously you can't shooting a gun
and sea limits. It would be legal for him to shoot a gun if
someone was trying to kill him, right, if he was in danger,
right, But if you're just shooting, it's never legal as far as I
know, to just shoot a gun for note, Like you need to be
at a specific area, like a firing range or on your private property or
something like that. Like you can't just be in the middle of a town
or in a building and just shoot your gun for fun, for fun,
to use that whatever, whether it's another person or not. Yeah, you
know what I mean. Like there needs to be like very specific circumstances for
you to shoot your gun. You can't just pop off. Yeah, it's
it's a lot of people don't know this, But they're not toys. Turns
out guns aren't toys. They're very specific, useful, dangerous tools. Well,
listen, he was half drunk and half dressed and He and Clements exited
through a second story window onto the roof of the hotel. He saw Hycock
arrived with four policemen. Hycock's just like, god fucking damn it. He
heard one gun shot and he's like, yeah, I know exactly where that
came from. It's the guy like keep his guns. Yeah, the lunatic.
I like keeping guns because I didn't want to deal with the lunatic at
the time, because I had a poker game to get too hard. Harden
leaped from the roof into the street and hid in the haystack for the rest
of the night. He didn't want to. He wanted that smoke. Just
in the middle of the haystack. Pulled an assassin's creed pretty cozy in there,
according to what you pulled an assassin's I think that according to assassins now
we I mean, like, I know the software history, but where are
we sourcing things from? Now, dude, you'd be soft man makes it.
Yeah, it's the most disappointing historical fiction movie I've ever watched in my
life. It wasn't great. You had fast Bender. I know that made
me so hyped. It's it's so forgettable. I can't believe it, then
you make a show. It shouldn't. It should have never been a movie.
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All right, to go back to this show. Harding claimed he later ambushed
lawman Tom Carson and two other deputies there. According to Harden, he did
not kill them, but forced them to remove all their clothing and walk back
to Abilene when they found him out just outside. Um. Weird of a
question that maybe you answer later, but I kind of think you don't.
Um who published this autobiography? He writes it when he's in prison, and
we'll get to that. But they publish it in like the twenties, nineteen
twenties, so it's just like a real publisher probably won't still exists today.
Yeah, what's the guy's name again, Harding? I know I don't remember
what what's this full name? John Wesley Harden? Okay, that'tch you.
It's Penguin. Feels like it is. It feels like a Penguin book.
What do you think it's called I'll look it up. Yeah, it's called
gun Fighter and Autobiography. Did he name it? Did he name it that?
I'm trying to think gun fighters pretty loose, gun murderer, and sleeper.
You're talking about an earlier time, right, like it's people are simpler
back then. Yeah, they just call things things, you know, like
they don't need they don't need fancy stupid titles. Yeah, not seeing a
publisher, now, well there had to be one. It's fine, I'll
look it up. You'll keep going. But yeah, the incident earned Harden
a reputation as a man so mean he once shot a man for snorn.
Oh, I mean that's that's accurate. Yeah. A couple quick bullet points
here, I mean, this entire episode is just bullet points of incidents he
had fallen. His escape, Harden claimed to have been involved in the following
gunfights. September eighteen seventy one, Harden was involved in a gunfight with two
Texas Special Policemen, two freedman Privates Green Paramour, and John Lackey, during
which Paramore was killed and Lackey wounded. September eighteen seventy one, also a
Black posse from Austin, Texas came after him for killing Paramore, but said
they returned Saturn Wiser after he ambush and killed three of them in May eighteen
seventy two or forty five miles outside Corpus Christi, Texas, after he's followed
by two Mexicans, shot one off his horse and the other quit the fight.
On June nineteenth, eighteen seventy two, Hardham was involved in the gunfight
in Willis, Texas. Really no details of that. Just got in the
gunfights started popping shot. Yeah, I just murdered more people. Yeah,
it's got a little horny. I saw some tents about him away, so
I just started shooting at him. Yeah. I was like, oh,
those people look asleep. That's good murdering. Maybe I'll clip a couple.
I'm an outlaw's He's like walks up to like a sleeping woman. He's like
you, I'm Jesse James. Fuck off. Yeah, good lord. On
July twenty six, eighteen seventy two, Harden wounded Texas State policeman Sony spits
in the arm with a pistol in him Hill, Texas. In earlier eighteen
seventy two, Hardham was in South central Texas in the area of the Gonzalez
County. It was about the time that Harden married Jane Bowen and started to
keep regular company with her brother, cattle rustler Robert Bowen. So oh he
fell in love. That's great, hooray. Everyone has somebody. Honestly,
at this point he seemed like, I guess he's fucking a prostitute. So
I don't know. It seems like he only loves killing. Yeah, like
really loves killing. Dan even this guy can get a wife, dude,
I'm for real, come on, what's wrong with me? Maybe you should
start murdering people in their sleep. I don't know. It is like I
guarantee you, by the way, and this is okay if it's true.
Of like, already know a bombardier and a fucking B fifty two or or
a or a machine gunner and World War two. But like most people,
most people, or even even a soldier. Now I guess whatever from the
girbal little orange, but most people should have had sex with more people than
they've killed. Yeah, that's a good question. I think it's for him.
I wonder how many what the ratio is? Yeah, it's probably one
to one. No, it's definitely lower. He's he's gotten more bodies cold
than hot. Yeah, he's in a bunch of wild West towns and cattle
towns. He's probably fucking a bunch of prostuits. He's stacking two to three
bodies a night on the murders. Yeah, he's fucking one hooker. Dude.
This guy could actually hit the Mayan sacrifice number. I think if he
lived a full, healthy life. Yeah. The people don't realize it,
but the Aztexes are Yeah, the Aztecs killed two million people a day.
It's two hundred thousand a year according to my sources, upwards of five million
a month. It's a lot. It's a lot of folks. So when
he gets married, he kind of gets involved in this little family rivalry.
Of course he does. He found the feud. Horse, he found the
feud. Sorry, no, of course, this man immediately became a hockey
dad. Yeah. They get into a feud with the rival Sutton faction for
several years. On August seventh, they don't know who. August seven,
eighteen seventy two, Harden was wounded by a shotgun blast in a gambling dispute
at the Gates Saloon in Trinity, Texas. He was shot by Phil Sublett,
who had lost money to him in the poker game. So he's a
great, great card player. Yeah, probably cheating. I don't understand,
like or he's just playing other fucking idiots, you know what I mean.
Like he's not the World Series of Poker. He's at a table with other
drum fuck cattle rustling, fucking idiot, no job having outlaws. Yeah.
So two buckshot pellets penetrated Harden's kidneys, and for a time it looked like
he was going to die. This can't kill it Cato Dianas. While recruperating
from his wounds, Harden decided he wanted to settle down finally. Sure,
now that my kidneys are leaking blood, I think it's time to kick up
my boots. So he surrendered to Sheriff Reagan, brother of John and and
Jery Reagan of Cherokee County, Texas. He was wounded in the right knee
by an accidental gunshot from a nervous deputy as he was to surrender. I
don't blame that guy, completely understandable. That makes sense a thousand percent.
So this guy's coming to the jail. We got start shoot him. Harden
made a sick bed surrender to authorities, handing over his guns to Chrieff Reagan,
and asked to be tried or his past crimes in order to clear the
slate. Oh, how do you start with that? What do you it's
we mean, clearly slate tried for his pass crid. He's murdered like one
hundred people. You just hang him. He can only hang you once.
They hang horse thieves, horse thieves. Honestly, the horse is still alive.
It can be given back. Everybody's broker in the deal. Sure,
giving him a plea deal. Hey, I'm here, I'm not gonna murder
any me in your sleep, I swear. The cops are like, all
right, so hold on. You're gonna promise us that if we drink eight
gallons of whiskey and leave the keys within arm's length of your sou you won't,
you know, take the key, turn that little lock, take one
of our pistols, and blow all our brains out while we're passed out.
What kind of guy do you think I am? But changed man's sheriff Agan
was like, yeah, we're gonna charge you with all these murders. The
murders he did the only cunder What did he ever rob what did he have?
Like one pimp? One pimp? He robbed one pimp and then murdered
him. Yeah, he has committed no cool stagecoach robberies. He has done
nothing, nothing, other than murder people. He is a literal serial killer.
This is a bad person. Now, knowing that sheriff is gonna charge
him with all these crimes, he decides to change his mind. He's like,
I don't want to do this anything. What is the only crimes he's
committed? Again, he has a robbed a bank or a stage coach.
He had a relative smuggle hack sauce to hide him while he was in prison,
and he escaped by cutting through the bars of the prison window. Smuggle
in what Ca. Yeah, they probably just handed it through problem. Yeah.
Yeah to judge, some judge, like, I mean, based out
of the Second Amendment, you can't not let them have a hacksaw. It's
like, I imagine it's the same way like they got a gun into the
Waco log prison. So I can't imagine getting hacks on another shitty Texas town
prison. Is that hard? These are really tiny towns. Yeah, there's
not They don't have enough men to guard the back of the prison. Yeah,
it's just the window in the back. They're just like flip, here's
your axa and everyone is of course, has had their own handle of whiskey
to drink that night. Yeah, HARDI escaped prison with that axall despite a
guard of six men. One hundred dollars award is offered for his arrest.
How he had six people guarding him? What does guarding mean? Yeah?
What is anything this time period? So he has there's just six people at
the jail. Yeah, getting blasted, I assume even honestly, like sober
then is drunk now. Yeah. The family he marries into the tailors,
they getting The beef of the Sutton feud came to a head when Harden himself
killed two law men known to be Sutton family allies on July eighteenth, eighteen
seventy three, in Kiro, Texas. How do you kill him? Harding
killed Dewatt County Deputy Sheriff JB. Morgan, who served under County Sheriff Jack
Helm, a former captain in the Texas State Police and leader of the Sutton
Force at the time. I strayed up guarantee even if they weren't asleep,
Like this guy killed them by just walking up and shooting them. Yeah,
Like there was no like, there was no draw you know, there's no
showdown. Like this guy's just like, hey, dick, well yeah,
he kills Helm in the town square in Albuquerque, Texas. Yeah, on
the run again. In June eighteen seventy three, Hardin assisted in the escape
of his brother in law, Joshua Bowen from the Gonzalez County jail. Allegedly,
Harden was also involved in this killing of Thomas Holderman. So at least
anyone who has died near this man, I have a tolerance at this point
to hearing that he killed someone or broke out of jail. Like, I'm
like, yeah, of course he did. Yeah statistics now yeah, you're
just like whatever, it's a man. It's like he is a boat in
a lake and bodies are just the wake. Yeah you know what I mean,
Like there's just anywhere he goes, there's just dead bodies behind him.
Yeah, it's not even like that remarkable to me. It's done this now
and again, this is not an outlaw. I mean technically he's an outlaw,
but like, this is not some cool guy who's like puts a mask
over his face and steals you know whatever. He's just just a serial killer,
but he puts on If you're a serial killer, but you put it
on a cowboy outfit, you're an hour at all. It's actually scarier.
Think about it. Like someone's like, there's a serial killer in Austin right
now. Yeah, but like what if they were. I saw a cowboy
dragging a man out to the river. Oh boys, an outlaw. So
wait, that's not a serial killer, that's an Ola. Eighteen seventy four,
he takes a brief visit to Florida, lays, well, he don't
want one of that Florida smoke. Where he his wife Jane, and their
younger daughter, whom he had really relocated under the assumed name Swain. Harden
then met up with his gang on May twenty six, eighteen seventy four,
in Comanche, Texas Saloon to celebrate his twenty first birthday. So he did
all this before? Why God, what I thought this dude was like forty
by this time. I didn't think forty, but I thought thirty. He
was in his his man years, you know, yeah, yeah, No,
I didn't realize it had been six years since his first kill. He
got a lot done. I stand by that he killed more than he fucked.
Yeah, quite a bit. Six years. He definitely killed more.
And I mean, yeah, that's that's prolific. That's so many bodies in
six years. Biggest piece of shit. This dude is Bundy. This dude
is every He's just efficient. It's just again. He put on a how
boy had so it's folksy, ain't. I'm not a cycle pay it thoughts.
The world West is how we fight. Yeah. Arden was spotted by
Brown County Deputy Sheriff Charles Webb. Entering the premises. He asked Webb if
he had come to arrest him. When Webb replied he had not, Arden
invited him to the hotel for a drink pass. I'm good. Yeah.
As Webb followed him inside, Harden claimed, Webb drew his gun. Yeah
he's coming right for me. One of Harden's men yelled out a warning,
and then the ensuing gunfight, Webb was shot dead. I'm sure of course
he was. You. The only way to kill this man is in his
own sleep. Yeah, No, I mean you just shoot him in like
any decent person, Just shoot him in the back of it. He just
shoot him in the back of the Yeah, the wrong move here. Webb's
a very popular man in town. Oh oh, I'm sorry. He finally
killed the wrong personally killed the wrong person three hundred times a charm. Yeah.
The death of popular Web resulted in the formation of a lynch mob.
So essentially, finally there were more people trying to kill him than he had
bullets out chamber to say, we need more than twelve men, We need
more than twelve. Harden's parents and wife were taken into protective custody, while
his brother Joe and two cousins, brothers Budd and Tom Dixon, were arrested
on outstanding lawrence. A group of local men broke into the jail in July
eighteen seventy four and hanged Joe and two Dixon boys. After this, Harden
and Jim Taylor parted ways for good and he escapes. He gets his cousins
killed, but a lynch mob. Yeah. Well, by the way,
he said, his book, his autobiography, was published in the twenties,
which means he would be in his seventies. He is not to make it
that long, okay. On January twentieth, eighteen seventy five, the Texas
legislator, Governor Richard B. Hubbard offered a four thousand dollars reward for Harden's
arrest. Damn, that's quite the reward. Back then, and undercover Texas
ranger named Jack Duncan intercepted a letter sent to Harden's father in law by Harden's
brother in law, and the letter mentioned that Harden was hiding out on the
Alabama Florida border using the name James W. Swain. Hold on call it
Florabama, Laurabama, It's an orange beach man. In his autobiography, Hardened
admitted that he adopted this alias from Brenham, Texas town Marshall Henry Swain,
who had married a cousin of Harden's name, Molly Parks. I've always thought
about how what I would use as an alias, like because you know how
like you accidentally just make a pass where like something that's related to you,
I would, you know, I feel like I would accidentally make a name
that it's in relation to some way. Like let's say, had to try
to disappear from my family and like like my path, I feel like my
parents are like my brothers something to be able to figure out who it was.
But you literally have to pick like the the most benign domin Like,
you can't be clever when you can't do anything you need it needs to be
like Jack Smith. Literally, yeah, like you need to just pass over.
It needs to put you to sleep. Yeah. In March eighteen seventy
six, Harden wounded a man in Florida who had tried to mediate a quarrel
between him and another man. So a guy tried to break up a fight,
catches one for his interfering. Where this guy still getting in fight.
It's almost like he loves killing because he's just a fucking serial killer in a
cowboy hat. Yeah. In November eighteen seventy six and Mobile, Alabama,
Arden was arrested briefly for having marked cards. Oh there it is. It
all comes out fucking which he was cheating in killing the people that accused them
of it. In mid eighteen seventy seven, two former slaves of his father's
um tried to capture Heart in Gainesville, Florida. Go Geyers probably just killed
two black eyes. Let's just get to the point where he kills kills two
black eyes. He killed one and blinded the other, Yeah, okay,
even better. August twenty four, eighteen seventy seven, rangers and local authorities
confronted Hearted on a train in Pensacola, Florida. What do you kill him?
At this point? It's like a bartender, Like you're just like vomitating
in your lap and crying, and there's like, hey, hey, have
you had enough? Yeah? I almost think you've had. What do you
want to drink? But I almost think you had enough? It's time stop
light this the whole train on fire. He attempted to draw forty four colt
cap and ball pistol, but it got caught up in suspenders. The officers
knocked hard and unconscious. Good, what do you even? Don't leave him
alive? I just shoot him in the head. Ranger John by Armstrong killed
one of the men he was accompanied by and arrested to others. Harden claimed
that he was captured while smoking his pipe, and that Duncan found Harden's pistol
under his shirt only after his arrest. Oh, so he was like,
No, I didn't lose, or did I wasn't even trying. Stupid?
Yeah, so stupid. That's like in Avengers in Fanny War, when the
mantis chick drops on Thanos and she's like, sleep will not just be like
um and yoursen. Yeah, I don't get that reference stuff. So Harden
was tried for killing Webb, the you know guy from the important killing,
the one guy shouldn't have killed. I mean, look, it only takes
one, right, That's what That's always funny to me when people complain about
like, I mean, he got off anyway because the prosecutors are morons,
but when they're like, why is Bill copy on me? And tried for
like ten to the child, like it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
I understand what you want, but like ten's more than enough. One's more
than enough, especially because he's so old, Like he'll go to jail,
and he did until the prosecutors ruined it all. But on June fifth,
eighteen seventy eight, he was sentenced to serve twenty five years in Huntsville prison.
Okay, didn't even get death. Meanwhile, you get accused of stealing
a horse in the wrong town, lynch bob right away. Yeah, straight
to death, straight to straight to the gallop. There's so many stories of
in that time period someone bought a horse that was stolen and they're like,
you stole that horse. You're dead, and that guy will just die,
just die death. But he's like, no, I didn't. They're like
at a certain point though, they kind of reward you for your body count.
Knock off. Guy's pretty fair man at this point. In eighteen seventy
nine, while at Huntsville Prison, Harden and fifty other convicts were stopped within
hours of successfully tonning into the prison armory. Hardy made several attempts to escape.
On February fourteenth, eighteen ninety two, during his prison term, he
was convicted of another man's slaughter charge for their earlier shooting of JB. Morgan
and given a two year sentence to be served bill currently with his expire in
twenty five year sentence. Harden eventually adopted prison life. While there, he
read theological books, became the superintendent of the prison Sunday School, and studied
law. He was plagued by recurring poor health. This he's a lunatic,
yeah, and leading Sunday school. Now I think he wants who's bedridden for
two years because one of his old wounds just got reinfected. Yeah, that
happens. Old ones were like reopened and shit like that happens. Like a
lot people used to die. Soldiers especially die from that quite a bit.
Um. Is it like a control thing at this point? Like he just
found the ways in prison that he could be in control, became a man
of God. Yeah yeah, I guess bike and a lawyer just like uh
gasy you know. Yeah, and just like Dahmer, everyone finds religion in
prison. Yeah. Yeah, while in prison. His wife dies. On
February seventeenth, eighteen ninety four, Harden was released from prison, having served
seventeen years of his twenty five years since got out in good behavior. Also,
it might just be I will say this, so he it's clearly very
intelligent. I think he's pretty smart. Knows how to play the game.
Yeah he I don't know that. He's like he just sees patterns. He's
like, he sees what he needs to do and he does it. He's
a psychopath. Yeah, he's probably a classical one, you know, the
charming psychopath in a way. Yeah. Yeah. So he gets released from
prison and he's only forty Yeah, well right, he didn't he did all
these things. It's like under the age of twenty one basically. Yeah,
eighteen nineties forty is probably like later that year, on March sixteenth, Hardon
was pardoned, and on July twenty first he passed the state's bar. Example
pardoned, pardon for what? Why? Why pardon him? I guess like
they just allowed him to become a lawyer. He's pardoned to be a Jesus,
Like, don't you lose your rise when you go to prison. You're
not depending on not becoming a lawyer if you're going to prison for that,
Yeah, after it's not happening now now certainly maybe, but like no,
not, maybe you will not become a lawyer in any state if you've served
time for murder. Okay, it's not happening, but then yeah, wauser
kind of things. Then I don't know, right, yeah, but you
know, a tiger can't change his stripes. Shortly after being released from prison,
Harding committed homicide when he made a five dollar bet that he could,
at the first shot knock a Mexican man off the soapbox on which the man
was sunning himself, winning the bet and leaving the man dead from the fall,
not the gun shot. Can you imagine you're at the beach and some
guy walks up to you. There's like someone uh you know, sonning on
the beach and someone watching. Somebody's like, hey, but you five bucks?
I can kill him from here with this gun. That's what happened.
What is even this bet? Who bet him? No? No one bet
him else. Afterward, Harden moved at El Paso, Texas. Didn't get
arrested, of course, it just moved, just laughed. What is the
serial killers? How does he die? You know? Pass? The lawman
John Selman Junior, arrested Harden's acquaintance in part time prostitute for having a gun
in public. Harding confronted Selman, and the two men argued, I disagree
with what you said. What there's no such thing as a part time prostitute?
Oh maybe he's like, you're you're only working for me? Now,
there's just so if you are, it's still that you're a prostitute. What
if she's only working twenty hours a week doesn't matter. Well, no,
if you're not working for it, you're part time. Yeah. If she's
not getting benefits, actually you're full time. She's not getting health insurance.
You're a hooker. You're full time hooker. H there's the unions man I'd
say they're doing wrong with it by the way, that we prostitute should be
leal lives in offilty states. But like, if you're a hooker, you're
you're a hooker. Now he ends up pistol whipping this cop and then Constable
John Summon Junior or Senior, himself, aidentorious coming in former outlaw, approach
Harden on the afternoon of August nineteenth, eighteen ninety five, and those two
many changed heated words. That night, Hardon went to the Acme Saloon,
where he began to play dice. At this point, this is like a
fucking Friday the Thirteenth movie where I'm like, how is he not dead?
Kill him? His last words were four sixes to beat. Shortly before midnight,
Sealman Senior entered the saloon, walked up the Harden from behind, and
shot him in the back of the head, killing him instantly. Great,
thank god. Yeah. As Harden laid on the floor, someone fired three
more shots just in case the old quadruple tap. He gotta yeah, yep,
gotta put more than one in there. Harden was buried the following day
in al Paso. It should have just left him in the street. For
vultures to pick his body and just been like, this is what happens,
this is what this is what you deserved to take him out to a fucking
field. Sealman Senior was arrested for murder and stood trial. He claimed self
defense, which is sick, stating that he witnessed Harden attempts to draw his
pistol upon seeing him enter the saloon. At this point in Harden's life,
the act of murdering him is self defense. I was about to say,
if I see him in a room, I'm gonna try, like, you
have to immediately kill him. Yeah, you can't be in a room with
him, because if you fucking sneeze, he might fucking murder you. Yeah,
if you're not just standing like this the entire time, and even even
be like, hey, buddy, your hand's been up for a long time.
I don't like the way you're waving your hands around. Don't put him
down. There was a hung jury resulted in someone being released good, good,
good, before he could be retried, though he was killing to shootout
whatever us Marshal George Chare Barrow April six, eighteen ninety six, whatever,
and then nearly a century later, the family in nineteen ninety five argued over
where to bury him. They wanted to dig him up, hardened, harden
for what, just to relocate him? What's your what's what is your?
Squatter? Think? Well, she's a nice woman. First off, rob
I understand that, and second off, she doesn't really remember. She's too
young. Okay, but she was there for the debate. Um, she
just remembers her family kind of arguing with the other side of the family,
like he doesn't belong. Now, Passo is a fucking saint. Here here's
an idea. Um, you argue about popes and artists and shake him up
and U use his coffin as a toilet. Yeah for a hundred years.
Okay, So here's the publisher. In nineteen twenty five, his autobiography was
published by bendera publisher, historian and journalist Jay Marvin Hunter, who founded both
the Frontier Times magazine and the Frontier Times Museum. Okay, cool, and
uh that is a story. Sure he didn't like fucking resurrect and kill six
more people. He just walks into his corpse, just walks into a publishing
house. No, there was in two thousand and two an auction house in
San Francisco, California. That auction in three lots of John Wesley Harden's personal
effects, containing a deck of his playing cards, a deck of his market
cards, yeah, and a contemporary newspaper account of his death, sold for
fifteen thousand dollars. The bullet that killed Harden sold for eighty thousand dollars.
Nice. So that is the story of John Wesley. Can you imagine they're
like in San Francisco or whatever, like handling his shit and the gun goes
off, kills somebody. Yeah, Harden gets one more. Yeah. So
what'd you guys learn today? Fuck this guy? That's what I learned.
Fuck this guy. I think legitimately there are a lot. I mean,
this guy who known as an outlaw, but he is literally just a serial
killer. Like if you murder in the act of attempting to get something else,
I don't necessarily consider that murder. You might still like it, but
I can I don't consider that right, right. But this guy, well,
even this stuff, most that he did wasn't like first degree, but
like this guy, first and foremost all really all he was a murder.
So my my, what I learned is is that there's probably however, many
serial killers you think there are in American history, double triple it probably way
more. Yeah, yeah, I mean like not even like the people that
are not qualified but should be, but just like the amount of people that
just were never found too. Yep, there's so many serials. Well even
this guy was found and no one considers it a serial killer. But that's
all he is as a serial killer. Yeah, he wore cowboy hat.
He consplayed right. Yeah, it's like, oh, oh, he's not
really a zero killer. Look, I always dressed. Should I ask us
who is Hitler today? It's it's him hard It's the only guy. You
did. You did a story on Hitler, Yeah, wild West Hitler.
You just did Root and Tooting Hitler. Yeah, that's it. Uh.
Well that's today's episode. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in.
Hopefully you had a good time, hopefully learned something not really just I had
never heard of this guy. He was actually recommended in our discord okay,
um, which was funny because how did you find the connection? How did
you find were you just like okay and I'm like, hey, are you
related to this dude? And she was like, actually I am yeah.
And because she's from West Texas. That makes sense. Okay, Yeah,
it's a fun connection. But yeah. Make sure to check out our patreon,
Patreon dot com slash softcore History. Become a member of the discord through
the Patreon, and you also get two additional episodes every week. Make sure
to leave a five star review on Apple and a five star review on Spotify.
Leave review on Apple if you can. We will read those off right
now. Actually, let's go. We have a bunch of good ones to
read. Go through some reviews that we got this last week, or two
that I really appreciate, of course Rob Doo's two. Someone just wrote a
review saying right to jail about Jesus's foreskin. Yeah, well that does get
you right to Catholic jail. Love the banter between hosts the show is absolutely
awesome. I've been listening for a while now. In fact, I'm a
Patreon member. Keep up the good work, boys, and anyone who talks
poorly about this podcast frequently kisses their dad and the lips. On a serious
note, it's nice to see others in our generation love and history. Thank
you for the educational episodes and hours of entertainment. When I'm on the road,
have a great one. Don't run with scissors Appy Independence Day. I
really enjoyed softcore history, hardcore banter. What's the title of it? I
don't remember what this is about, but this has to be a Saint Louis
and who wrote this? Came for the nonchalant history, but I stayed because
of the in depth banter. Yesh, Nowhere else can you get random stories
of university city parks countered by a rough outline of a legit of legitimate historical
events. Great product university cities where I'm from in Saint Louis. I don't
remember what park I talked about. I assume getting drunken or something as a
as a high schooler. But shout out to Maddie h last one. I'll
read fuzzy slash logic every single episode they cover or they rarely cover a topic
I want to hear about. But after every episode I listened to, I'm
happy I stopped by for a listen. Well three of them are very entertaining
together. Great work boys, you know. That's all that makes me happy,
because I always wonder like, is this even? Are people like,
oh man, what is this topic like? As long as yeah, as
long as you're enjoying it, we get you there. We appreciate you stopping
by. Hopefully we earned your business in the future for Rob Fox and Jake
Goldman and I'm damn Regester and you just got self served.